Looking For The Middle: The Christian Girl's Guide to Modern Dating

Hey friends! Kristen here! I'm dropping into the LFTM feed today to let you know about my brand new podcast - The Youth Pastor's Wife Podcast!    I couldn't start off on this new season of my podcasting journey without letting yall know about the show and without saying thank you for all your love and support over the years! After all, yall are a huge reason why I fell in love with podcasting in the first place!    I would love for you to come over and listen to the show! And if you know a youth pastor's wife, it would mean the world to me if you would share the show with her!    The first three episodes of The Youth Pastor's Wife Podcast are available now so you can start listening today!    I'm so excited to see what God has in store for this new podcast! 

Wow. We can't really believe that we're here. In some ways, it seems like the past 6 years have absolutely flown by. In other ways, it seems like we're limping across this finish line after all of the turmoil and upheaval of the past year. Either way, we are so, so grateful for all of you and are mindful of the Lord's goodness in all things. We are going to spend this last episode reflecting on the good times, the sad times, the funny times and everything in-between as we close out the Looking For The Middle journey as we have known it.  We have a very special “guest" with us and you do not want to miss it! Be sure to join our Facebook group here if you want to stay in the loop about what is next for LFTM! 

If you sang that title in your head like I did… you are my people! haha  This is the second to final episode and we are feeling nostalgic so this is a bit of a full-circle moment. We are taking it back to the days of random numbers and topics we don't know ahead of time like the early days of CouchCast. So, sit back, and enjoy as we answer all your questions one last time!

Do you find yourself in a period of being single for longer than you had hoped or planned? Even if this isn't you right now, there's a good chance it has been you at some point, and today we're diving into how to navigate this season and what it looks like to honor the Lord even in a period of life you might not have picked.

January and February are the months with the highest traffic on online dating apps for the whole year! Don't miss out on those quality matches and messages… we're here to help you get your profile in tip top shape.

You guys… this week's episode is a mess! I am just warning you! We sat down to record and before we knew it, the building was overrun with people and then suddenly there were people all over the outside and they were replacing the gutters. We are all kids of distracted and there is all kinds of noise. SO SORRY!! We did our best guys… haha

Last season we touched on this idea from a more philosophical point of view… today, we're getting into more of what this idea looks like practically. 

We're back from our little, unexpected, unannounced, poorly executed mini-mid-season-sabbatical! Sorry about that guys… there has been A LOT going on. We get into all of that today and we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming as usual next week! 

We mentioned last week that we have been running on fumes the past couple of weeks… a lot going on personally, with work, and just all around. We hoped we'd be back on track this week, but we're not quite there yet. So, just bear with us just a little longer and we'll be back to normal (as normal as you can expect from us) in the next couple of weeks! 

We're tackling some of your questions today!!

Do you ever wonder if you're wanting to actually date THIS person or if you're just wanting ANY person to fill a void that you feel in your life? Today, we're going to tackle this question and talk through several scenarios where you may find yourself in this place. And, then, as always, we're going to work through how to get out of it!

Hello, long lost friends! Goodness, this off-season seemed especially long! We have missed you guys and have so much to talk about… so, jump in with this week's episode and let's have a fun season!

Today is the Season 10 Finale! And, we're getting through as many of your questions as possible. All bets are off. There are no filters. Here we go!

This is definitely one of those episodes where the point is that we all know we're not alone! Dating in church can be just plain weird sometimes. There are so many pitfalls and awkward situations that are uniquely Christian. Today, we're diving into all the weirdness, and while we may not actually solve anything, we will definitely all leave feeling decidedly less alone.

This episode has been in the works for a few seasons now! We wanted to give it the preparation and thought it deserved… so, now, we're jumping in and tackling this topic with the book of Proverbs as our jumping off point. We're looking at the Proverbs 31 woman and then the Proverbs 1-30 man too!

Whether you're the one being set up, or the one doing the setting up… we've been on both sides of this delicate topic and we're talking about the whole process from start to finish from both sides!

Do you ever look back and wish you had been able to tell the younger version of yourself that everything would be ok? Or, maybe you want to tell yourself to snap out of it and get your act together? Here's what we would have told ourselves if we had that chance!

Dalton has been a bit under the weather and we haven't been able to record this week. We'll be back next week with our next new episode, but until then, here's one of your favorites for you to listen to again!  Oh, those early, awkward, unsure dates.... they're the worst, right? Please tell me I'm not the only one?! One thing that has made all the difference for me is know what to expect going into them. What to expect of the guy AND the date. Today, Dalton and I are talking about what are reasonable and unreasonable expectations to have going into those first few dates with someone new.

We talk (and complain) a lot about how dating is a complicated and convoluted process and that you don't want to complicate it more. But, we don't really talk all that much about how to actually simplify the process. So, let's do that today!

Do you ever feel like there's something missing in your life and if you could just have that one thing, then your life would be better? Complete, even? It's so easy to push aside the satisfaction and contentment we should look for from Christ and put “things” into that place instead. Sometimes it seems like God doesn't even understand what it is that you're walking through. We get it. We've been there. We are there. This week's episode is a little more raw, we're talking the walls down and speaking from the heart today.

That is the question... Today we're looking at lots of different scenarios along a dating timeline and discussing whether or not it's a good idea to pray with your significant other and for your significant other in those scenarios. This is a really sensitive topic and we're trying to do it justice, while still being clear and offering a Biblical perspective.

Why is it that everyone wants clarity in dating and at the same time everyone also feels like clarity is greatly lacking in dating? If everyone wants clarity, and yet no-one's getting clarity, we have a problem on our hands, right? This week, we're taking a look at why clarity is so important, what some of the major hindrances to it in dating, and what to do about it!

Denominations can cause a lot of confusion when it comes to dating sometimes! There's a lot of overlap, but there's a lot of differences too and discerning which are ok and which aren't can be tricky. We're walking through our thought processes when it comes to this and you get to come along for the ride!

We're digging into the topic of missionary dating today and it's a great discussion of what to be on the lookout for if you're concerned that maybe this is the situation you're in, what it means to be equally yoked, and more.

This week's episode is the conclusion to the conversation we started last week with Don't Waste Your Singleness. We're moving into the realm of dating this week and what it looks like to not waste the time you have as you're getting to know someone. What's the purpose of dating? Is time ever really wasted? How can you be sure you're not wasting time? All questions we're getting into this week!

You guys loved it the last time we had some live swiping through dating apps on an episode, so we made an entire CouchCast out of it. There is no filter and all bets are off as to what we're going to find! This is probably the longest CouchCast we've ever done… and probably the one we laughed through the most!

We're back!!! Season 10 is here and we're so excited! We're kicking off the season taking a look at the idea of making the most of the time you've been given as a single person. Instead of seeing it as a burden to carry, how can you be making the most of this time to the glory of God?

It's the season finale of season 9!! And, it's our question episode for this season all rolled into one. This week, we're answering the question "what do I do if/when _________?" You guys supplied the answers and now we're talking about them. There is a wide variety of topics being covered today... everything from what to do if you're always being ghosted, how to get up the nerve to approach the guy in your small group that you like, and hypnotism (???). Listen all the way to the end to get the details on that one!

Have you ever wondered if you met "the one" tomorrow would you be ready to pursue marriage? We've probably all asked ourselves that at some point, but it's not always clear what the answer is. So, this week, we're going through some things to be on the lookout for.... patterns you want to see in your life, in thought word and deed, that will all help spell out whether you're ready to take the (hypothetical) plunge or not!

This season's Men Tell All episode is a bit different! We're interviewing Ben and his wife Lindsay this week to get some insight into what dating as a Christian couple really looks like. What were the most important and helpful things as they navigated dating, engagement, and now marriage? What is their best advice to those still looking? They have a ton of wisdom!

We've all heard it a million times... dating isn't actually in the Bible. We get it, it's not. But, what do you do instead? While the actual dating process isn't in the Bible anywhere, there is plenty within the pages of Scripture about what a man or woman who is following God should look like. There is verse after verse talking about the Sovereignty and Love of God. There are so many principles in God's Word that guide what any relationship between believers should look like. Those things are what we are talking about today and we're weaving them into a specific dating context and how you can overlay so much of Scripture to your dating relationships.

You like him... he likes you... seems like a dream scenario, right? Should you always go for it, if that's the case? Are there ever times when you still shouldn't say anything? In this week's episode, we're looking at those times when maybe the best thing to do is just shut up and not say anything. Maybe it's not forever, it's just for right now... we're looking at how to speak up after you've decided not to too.  Also... apologies for the sound issues w/Bethany's microphone! It decided to be annoying this week and we didn't know it until we were done!

We're circling back to the online dating app discussion we started in Wednesday's episode... things we see a lot that are frustrating, some that maybe we're being too picky about, and some that are just downright weird. You don't want to miss this... there is live swiping going on as we record!

Y'all, we're calling an audible this week! This is not what we originally had on the schedule... we just recorded it this week even. But, this was probably one of the most vulnerable and unguarded conversations we've ever had on this show. We're taking all of the filters off and talking about where we both are in our singleness right now... what we're thinking, what's hard, what we're wrestling with, and where we see it going. I know it will be relatable and hopefully encouraging to you guys too!

Whether you're about to engaged, newly dating someone, or not dating anyone at all, this episode is for you! Knowing when to talk about what can be tricky when you're navigating a dating relationship and especially as you get more serious, it's not always obvious what more serious topics you should be talking about.... and how seriously is appropriate, too! So, today we're going through a whole host of different things that you should be talking about before he pops the question!

This Backstage Pass actually stems from a conversation we were having off the air that we thought would be helpful and encouraging to you guys too? Should the person you're dating be the source of your happiness? This was definitely a soapbox topic for one of us... hint: it wasn't Bethany ;)

There are several questions that we have gotten way more than any others and we've talked about them in previous episodes or CouchCasts, but this week, we're throwing all of them at Dalton to get a guy's perspective on some of your most burning questions! What do guys really think of girls asking them out? How can we  know if a guy is interested or if he's just being nice? Answers to those and so much more in this week's episode!

This episode comes straight from a conversation we had with one of our friends a couple of months back, talking about circling back to a previous relationship after an amicable break-up. When is it a good idea? Who should do the circling back? Why did you break-up? How did you leave it at the break-up? All questions we're diving into today!

This is a common struggle for all of us! We seek to get our validation, worth, and joy from the people around us rather than from God, Himself. So, in a dating context if you're looking to get that from the person you're dating, or the person that you want to be going out with, how do you break that cycle?

We all know, firsthand, that dating as a Christian is really complicated these days! Why is that though?? We're doing a deep dive in this week's episode to figure out some reasons why and what we can do to fix them!

This is our first ever Women Tell All episode and we couldn't be happier to have Mel on the show! She founded IYKYK Christian Dating almost two years ago and has created a vibrant community for Christian singles online and in-person through the mixers they have hosted all over the country. They're coming to ATL this month!! So, if you're local and want to sign up, the link is below for tickets. Dalton and I will be there and we're working on some ideas for recording live from the event too! Today, we're talking about trends in Christian dating that she sees as they travel, as well as ways the church gets dating right and where they could improve, we talk about ghosting and how it has no place in Christian circles, and so much more!   IYKYK Christian Dating Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/iykykchristiandating   ATL Mixer Tickets: https://iykykdating.ticketspice.com/atlanta-ga-iykyk-dating-mixer--ages-23-39--october-22

In this week's Backstage Pass, one of our guy listeners wants to know how it would be taken if he asked a girl out again who has previously said no... more details of the situation in the episode, but we break down the different possible reasons and outcomes and come up with an answer!

Whew! That title was a mouthful! This week's episode stemmed from a conversation we had about how what we all tend to look for in someone to date is really what makes dating itself so difficult! If we had a more realistic view of people, and who God created them to be, we might not be in this mess. So, this week we're taking a look at some of the things we should look for instead!

Oh, those early, awkward, unsure dates.... they're the worst, right? Please tell me I'm not the only one?! One thing that has made all the difference for me is know what to expect going into them. What to expect of the guy AND the date. Today, Dalton and I are talking about what are reasonable and unreasonable expectations to have going into those first few dates with someone new.

1st CouchCast of the season! ....and Dalton's 1st CouchCast ever! We went back to the old days and I didn't tell him the question before we answered it. So, take a listen and find out how to be more approachable to guys... straight from a guy himself!

I have been counting down the days until you guys could hear this for a LONG time now! I can't wait for you to finally know what we've been keeping under wraps. We're all so excited and would love to know your thoughts!!   Also... make sure you listen ALL the way to the end for a hilarious outtake!

Hey Guys! Just a quick drop-in to make you all aware of an exciting and fun opportunity for the end of this summer! Hope to see a bunch of you there!

We've been looking for the middle for a while around here... but, one thing we've kind of realized is that maybe we're all too distracted with the "looking" and not focused enough on being found. Let's discuss!

Today, we're taking it wayyy back to a CouchCast that was between season 1 and season 2. The Dreaded DTR. This one isn't so much that our thoughts have changed completely, but it's more of an evolution of thought as we've grown, matured, had more dating experience. Let us know what you think!

Does it sometimes feel like you're the first and only person to ever be single in the church? Everywhere you turn, there are married, or nearly married people? In today's episode, we're discussing reasons why that may be, but even more importantly, we're discussing 5 things you can do to alleviate that feeling of loneliness.

This week is our "question episode" and this season's question was "What do you want to hear our unfiltered, unscripted responses about?". We took your questions/topics from Facebook and Instagram and you're getting our thoughts on those sans filter. Topics range from...finding guys that won't be intimidated by a successful woman... to getting over someone you've never actually dated... to how to handle your friend dating a guy she knew you liked. It's going to be fun!