Love Hate Debate

Ep 8 Hello Homies - Hometown visits This is all a bit cringe worthy. As much as we love our family (and we really do) they can be a little.....embarrassing. Especially when their “little girls” are meeting a man (who the family doesn’t know), falling in love with him (over a matter of weeks), having him declare his is “falling in love” with her and asking the the Fathers permission to propose.

Ep 7 Someone’s lyin’ Well as if his choices weren’t already hard enough our beautiful Bachie, Colton has catty comments and wily whisperers trying to influence his decisions. Everyone is keen to see Denver, Colorado with a backdrop as stunning as the women themselves, however dark moods, tears and tantrums about and that’s just Colton. We are introduced to the Underwood’s and Vee becomes an immediate fan of Colton’s Dad while Shari is happy to see the back of a mean girl or two leading into next episodes home towns.

Ep 3 Trending this week : Kardashian & Co Legal Is imitation the sincerest form of flattery when it comes to TV advertising? We try and get to the “bottom” of ScoMo’s Engadine Maccas urban legend LIVERPOOL - Champions League win excitement TV Week Gold Logie nomination campaigns The Voice contestants - Jack Vidgen & Matthew Garwood US Sen Elizabeth Warren controversy over identifying as Cherokee Indian.

Ep 6 The Bachelor US - Female Fight Club While not exactly the kind mentioned in Bridesmaids or the cult classic on the same name, this Ep does see Colton’s potential brides start and use elbows and knees like all good Muay Thai boxers to maintain dominance over the competition. An early rose ceremony sends home two and should put a shot across the bow of all the dibber dobbers who run to Colton with stories of the other women. Shari observes that Hannah G and Colton then film a lite Porn for their date and Colton claims for the first time this season to be falling for one of the girls. Group date time and the girls are pitted against one another in a fight to the death...not true but you get the story arc here. Teisha has a one on one date which goes fine but then Demi decides to claim some time with Colton by lobbing on his doorstep. Possibly not the wisest move.

Ep 5 Thailand In a country of beautiful people, places and produce, expect exotic experiences for our Bachie beauties. “Never been kissed” Hannah gets the first date and while Colton is as lovely as can be, we are not picking up the vibe. Back at the hotel Elyise is in a malaise or a funk or just not happy - but STOP - you are on The Bachelor!!!!! Back on the boring date with Hannah finally some fireworks (and by this we mean literal fireworks) but also a kiss. Vee feels if this REALLY is Hannah’s first kiss it’s all downhill from here!! Elyise self-ejects and Shari is not surprised. A group date leaves us none the wiser but Cassie’s solo date has us even more flummoxed as she has literally come from nowhere to be kissing Colton who is now smitten with her, in his bed??!! On another more important note - can someone contact Kanye West for a skin coloured band-aid? Kirpa is in need. Kop-Khun-Ka

Ep 4 Singapore Sling-Shot Cocktails and culinary treats await our crew when they arrive in Singapore. Solo dates for Teisha and Kaylen and a group date to the markets are really just background noise for the brewing drama between Demi & Courtney and the Pageant Queen World War 3. Colton continues to kiss his way through the swath of women but Vee thinks there is too much tongue up front while Shari is in two minds about straight talking Demi.

Ep 2 Trending - Vee & Shari take a look at the trending topics of the week-that-was in Australia and around the world. This week game of thrones rewrites; spice girls sound issews; quit facebook campaign ; TV WEEK Logie Award nominations ; new Federal Government Cabinet appointments

Ep 3 Pageant Porkie Pies The Pageant war is warming up with Hanna B and Caelynn both opening up to the other girls about their past. A pirate themed group date gives Caelynn a chance to shine before Colton takes Elyse on a solo date to San Diego. Demi starts to flex her cray in the house and with Colton as she goes all 50 Shades of Grey with a blindfold and a paddle. A gym challenge provides gratuitous shirtless shot of Colton (Vee and Shari send their personal thanks to the producers) before the girls get super competitive in the hopes of impressing Colton and securing another rose.

Ep 2 Calling all cray-crays and kiss-less! If we thought the drama queens were out in Ep 1, it’s got nothing on Ep 2 as the first group date heads to the theatre for ALL THE DRAMA. Here the type A personalities run wild with the aim of impressing Colton & ultimately securing a rose. Hanna B secures the first one on one date while the group daters have drawn lines in the sand between the feisty young cray-crays (which pretty much means Demi

Ep 1 The Three Hour Tour

Ep 1 Trending - Vee & Shari take a look at the trending topics of the week-that-was in Australia and around the world. This week, the whole Country is salty at Queensland after largely taking the credit/blame depending on how you look at it for a very surprising outcome to the federal election. We bid a sad final farewell at the passing of former Australian Prime Minister and total legend Bob Hawke who died the same week as social media star Grumpy Cat. There were knives at ten paces for YouTube influencers and former BFFs Tati Westbrook and James Charles and the biggest song contest in the world Eurovision had us wishing for less Madonna and more ABBA.

Ep 13 Love me or leave me. The L word was thrown around a few times tonight but unfortunately we didn’t LOVE a lot about this double episode including the much promoted “Tell All Reunion”. Vee was unleashes on Channel 10 for their scheduling of the last week of Bach in Paradise. Perhaps because we recorded this around 11.30pm!!

Ep 12 Wake me up before you go-go For a penultimate episode this was a giant snooze-fest and almost insufferable. You know that point in a bad relationship where even the sound of the other person breathing triggers you? Viewers tonight were feeling that hard core when Alisha’s affectation finally got the best of us all. It is drawl much like Ja’mie - Private School Girl classified by one keen observer as something called “vocal fry”. We are not sure about the technicalities but we would be happy to never hear it again. Ever! Shari is keeeen for the reunion. Vee on the other hand may sleep through that as well. C’mon Bachelor in Paradise - you need to run hard at the finish line and deliver the DRAMA! #bringit

Ep 11 Apologies and Exists For two gals who are not adrenaline junkies Vee and Shari love a bit of drama! As this season draws to a close, power boat rides, paddle board pashes and passing on giving roses just aren’t cutting it!!! Although it gives the girls much more time for oversharing which is just how they roll.

Ep 10 - Dial Triple Zero - we need a taser! Ivan can’t work out where it’s all gone awry. Vee thinks we all need to help him out with this but social media says “Hold my beer - we’ve got this”. We are excited to have a re-entry into the Paradise orbit, two new couples and devo to see what we thought was a cute little romance blow up before our eyes. Shari has now declared herself the unofficial campaign manager for Cass for Bachelorette 2020. Jump on board with the hashtag #cass4bach2020

Ep 9 Season 2 One hostage ; One escapee With the comings and goings in Paradise you’d be forgiven for wondering which is who? After last nights Jules saga Alisha uses her white witch powers to manifest Daniel “the puppeteer” of previous Bachelor infamy as a rebound date. It works. She has forgotten all about Jules...no wait....scrap that..::stand-by.... Producers should have arranged the Helen Reddy song “I am Woman (Hear me roar)” as Zoe demonstrated for the other women in Paradise what one does when disrespected by a man and has let Nathan go. You go girl!!!! Clearly inspired by this moment Tenille takes matters into her own hands with increasingly possessive Ivan, drawing a veil over their intense 6 day partnership. Ivan becomes monosyllabic. This is not a positive sign. Vee is confident all he needs is some de-stressing Magic Mike choreographed moves to his fave tunes and he’ll buck up. Aunty Shari isn’t so sure.

Ep 8 Season 2 Crackpots and Copouts We are feeling dirty and disappointed

Ep 7 Season 2 Liar, Liar board shorts on fire

Ep 6 Season 2 Dipsticks and Dead Shits Just like Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense seeing dead people....”We see dead shits” They are all around us, appear out of nowhere and we are shook! Bill could gold medal at the Olympics in lying and manipulating, Ivan and even Jules are dropping girls like hot rocks at the sight of something more appealing and Rachel is in the kitchen for the whole episode boiling up Richies’ bunny. There are tears from Brooke, Alisha, Cass, Rachel, Alex N, Jules, Rachel... (it would have been easier to list those that DID NOT cry this episode) Alex N is about to play the long game of KILL BILL and Vee is here for it!!!! Meanwhile Shari has wrestled US Alex to the ground to make a citizens arrest for crimes against fashion.

Ep 5 Season 2 Showing their cracks. Just when most of the crew seemed to be coupled up (even into more than one couple

Ep 4 Season 2 Girls, girls, girrrrrrrls Unless you have been under a rock this week, we all know that this ep is dedicated to Alex NATION (if we have to say her surname it is going in caps!!) and Brooke get their kiss on creating love hexagons all over paradise. Other notables in the kissing stakes were Jules and Alisha

Ep 3 Season 2 We start at the end of last nights rose ceremony with Britt doing the happy dance with her rose including poses that we can categorically say no one has ever done before and perhaps no one should do again? Cat does a runner out of paradise while Vanessa Sunshine stands and accepts her fate. Pretty much says everything you need to know about the difference between these two women. New entrants Davey and Jules (sans curly moustache and zany backing track) join the castaways. A quad date has Brooke & Nathan and Alex N & Bill discovering new options. Fash-un lowlights were Cass and her almost there, leave nothing to the imagination en-sem along with Paddys head band. We suspect it was somehow cutting oxygen supply to his brain explaining quite a lot. Vee is off to find Paddy a professional anger management course while Shari is preparing to issue passports to the newly discovered land of Delusionville for Cat, James, Rachel & Paddy ☀️

Ep 2 Season 2 Bachelor in Paradise 2019 More entrances from Vanessa Sunshine & Alex Nation two women who we can only call by both names. Fashion low lights included Cats scrunchie & Shannon’s rose ceremony ensemble. I said love, I said pet...no. We finally got to understand the drama behind Richie and Alex’s split. It’s sad and personal and we feel bad for prying. Sorry guys, as you were. Vee learns that “spilling the tea” has more to do with gossip than Bushells black with one sugar while Shari is stoked for Brittney that her conga line finally became a reality. Cha cha, cha cha, CHA CHA!

Ep 1 Season 2 BULA!! Tonight we meet and greet with the “leftovers” from past Batchelor series including those of Sophie Monk, Ali, Ritchie and at least 5 women who dodged the Honey Badger bullet. Fashion lowlights include Shannon’s hat, Brooke’s earrings and Paddy and Bill doing a “who wore it better” with their choice of board shorts. How embarrassment!

Ep 41 The Final Couch-down There is literally (we mean figuratively) 100 people in this room and no, Billy you will not get to speak tonight. Nobody cares. Not even the experts. For our sins we will be punished with more wailing, sighing and handwringing by Magic Mike and Heidi. You two are toxic together and Mike and his views on females should have been left in the 1900s. That is all we are going to say about that! While Michael & Martha, Jessika with a K & Dan and a weird late coupling of new BFFs Lizzy & Innes ride off into the sunset together, Vee and Shari are preparing their ensembles for Cam & Jules wedding. Surely their invitations are in the mail?? Until next season.....it’s been a ride.

Ep 40 Dinner Party revenge - a - palooza Smug marrieds have become smug engageds who will then become the smug marrieds for realz at some stage in the future and.......we don’t care. The swinging singles have returned either because they are contractually obligated or for The Gram. This does not include Ning who is looking for hair related cues from Mark that will definitely mean he still has the feels. Everyone seemed to be having a good time and for Queen Cyrell this JUST WILL NOT DO! So she slowly puts on her crown and sceptre and screams at the top of her lungs “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!” There was yelling, finger pointing, Michaels balls get tossed around and finally wine thrown on heads and dresses. #tears ensue from Vee screaming “noooooo not the Prada!!!” While Shari is apologises to her viewing buddies for having to watch the most popular show on Australian TV.

Ep 39 : this is fucking torture. Srsly!!!!!! Which dickhead had the weapons-grade stupid idea to dedicate a whole hour and a half episode to possibly the most toxic, troublesome & torturous relationships in MAFS history????? While Vee is quietly grinning herself that she had to work and missed the episode #sorrynotsorry

Ep 38 Blindsides & Bullshitters Mark & Ning and Martha & Michael step back up to the plate tonight for the recommitment ceremony and the girls are SHOOK! No spoilers here....just press play

Ep 37 - Will they or will they?!?!......and of course they do and we know they do because....the internet. Anyhoo realising we were about to be punished for our sins and made to sit through an hour and a half of repeats and non events Shari and Vee have done their best to put lipstick on this pig of an episode and have pulled out some tasty morsels for your listening pleasure. Enjoy

Ep 36 : The last Dinner Party

Ep 35 : When will it end

Ep 34 The Extended Version We are starting to feel like Farmer Wants a Wife and are hostages in a show that is keeping us around waaaayyyyy to long. Highlights include a romantic treehouse getaway for Ning and Mark where literally no “romance” will be taking place and an awesome day on the water for new couple Jess and Dan who may not even wait until they get off the boat to get jiggy with it. Shari (insert all of us) are loving Mikes triumphant return home from drinks with Jess only to be reminded by Heidi that he does nothing right.

Ep 33 - The Final Commitment Couch It’s a BIG night because we know what’s coming and want to know once and for all do the “EXPERTS” have any morals or only eyes for the ratings?! Shari and Vee agree that Heidi and Mike will have to go their seperate ways in the end and we are watching the slow unwinding of a painful coupling. We are also watching a deeper coupling of Cam & Jules and the pain is all ours - hey Jules STOP TOUCHING CAMS BEARD...it’s just creepy. Now everybody...shhhh Jess has something to say and everyone seems to be genuinely shook. The experts prove that they do not deserve their seats on the couch - talk about three people who can justify any decision - just wow! But thank-goodness for that as we can watch a forbidden romance blossom and the fallout from all the drama for another 2 weeks. Now say it with us Martha....#bless

Ep 32 The Aftermath - we are shook! But first STOP - Cams braces need to be immediately removed and burned. Nice try Cam but...they did not escape our attention.

Ep 31 - Big nite out! Da boiz and da grls are excited to get out on the town. Tam in particular is excited to hear all the goss - especially if it’s not about her

Ep 30 : and what the hell is all the crying about? Oh that’s right it’s Family & Friends night! And to be honest Cam, that can be totally . . . traumatising. While Cam had all the feels tonight, Magic Mike has lost the feels and the food apparently?!? Perhaps Heidis dinner is in the same place as Farmer Wants a Wife’s thongs???? Srsly dude put some shoes on!!!!!!!

Ep 29 : Commitment Couch. The girls have decided this weekly episode needs a brand refresh as it hardly a ceremony

Dinner Party - warning ⚠️ this is a long episode but we’ve seen things have some stuff to say!! Cyclone Cyrell never went away she went out to sea, regenerated and is heading straight for the dinner party with the promise “whatever comes into my head tonight I’m gonna say” FUCK YEAH! The low ranking couples have started to commit crimes of fashion just to get everyone’s attention. Vee is not impressed. Our burn pile grows. Shari is a bit worried Billies Mum is listening (sorry Billies Mum) and we introduce a new member of our team Researcher X who is shovelling the dirt on Suzie.

Ladies Week continues but we have seen something that has grabbed our attention and we are NOT happy about it. We have a vivid recollection of taking Jules bedazzled jeans, throwing them on the HATE pile and setting them alight but what do we see??!! Jules has either stolen them off the HATE pile (allegedly) OR wait for it....Jules owns a SECOND PAIR OF BEDAZZLED JEANS

Ladies Week : Jules apartment is total #realestategoals and makes us wonder what business she’s really into

Commitment ceremony : first up we hear about Jules boobies

The Dinner Party : Usually the epicentre of fashion on planet MAFS we are sad to report the fashion police had to make some arrests tonight. Farmer wants a Wife will be doing hard time for the fashion fail of shorts and double pluggers and Cams bow tie was immediately banished to our hate pile to be burned. Jessika with a K has set her sights on Dan and we are not that upset about it. Does that make us co conspirators or worse (dramatic music) part of the mean girl gang?

This ep takes reality tv waaaaayyyy too close to actual reality between the sheep shit, washing the dogs butt and Micks farts we are OVER the back door poop fest and just....STOP!!!. We are left pining for our Sydney apartment with Harbourside views, Mels’ cute designer dresses and Kylie Jenner’s pamper sessions with her dishy husband. Suddenly we are pulled from our day dream and land with a thud in some pretty fucked up interpersonal situations not the least of which is Mick calling Jessika with a Ks family for all the names under the sun!

Home town visits : Is it just us or are some of these bach pads just Air BnBs being passed off as the guys houses?? No? Just us then... And just quietly - where in the hell is Tam & Dan???

Tonight we learn never to write poetry for Mel (or Vee for that matter!!) and if Michael is keen for more pamper sessions and a reality TV binge fest, Shari is up for it! Commitment ceremony decisions tonight; will they Stay or Leave? The bigger question is - will we Love or Hate?

As our hero Rachel Zoe would say “I Die” This ep has ALL.. THE. DRAMA. Mean girls Kylie Jenner and Jessika with a K are at their mean and catty best (or worst) Farmer Wants A Wife has egg on his face and it’s not a metaphor. Like, literally egg on his face while he is trying to kiss is wife

Pride and Prejudice, Four Weddings and a Funeral and Bridesmaids quotes all get a run tonight as mean girls “Jessika with a K” and Kylie Jenner with their stupid smirks shit-stir Cyrell into a Hulk-style frenzy. Now Cyrell....you need to remember when we are upset we use our words and not our hands. Nick the saint is sticking in there (just). New couples Dan & Tam and Billie & Suzie are on their romantic (read boring) honeymoons. This ep is really just the air in the bag of popcorn we are heating in the microwave ready for tomorrow nights dinner party!!

D.R.A.M.A with a capital D! Not the least of which was Dino giving the gift of kangaroo scrotum. Dino - like we always say here at Love Hate Debate, if they didn’t want it then, is it really a gift? Heidi is given a mirror by Dr John who tells her to take a good hard look at herself which has Mike smirking up a storm. A few loved up couples are dotted amongst the car crashes to keep us all on our toes. Sam the lying douche and Innes the cheating ^+#+& are finally revealed...but somehow we are still unsatisfied. Karma - over to you!

Dinner party : Mike and Heidi are simply devo at their ranking as the #1 most uninteresting couple continues. Lizzy has fallen into a deep depression and can’t even get fired up about her fake husbands affair - somebody order the bucket of Nutella stat!! Disappointment all round as nobody wore a hat with their ensemble so we are off to the $2 shop to buy Cyrell a crown. All hail Queen Cyrell.

The competition for most conspicuous hat of the season kicks up a gear as Martha’s pink after dark hat (srsly WTF??!) takes on Cams oversized panama. Serious vommie in the mouth when Sam and Ines wake up together. Lizzy has made a miraculous recovery (we assume she was diagnosed as being clinically sick of Sams shit) and we start our campaign for a MAFS reunion show. As Superfans we humbly offer our services as hosts ; Andy Cohen step aside the Love Hate Debate girls have arrived!