Lunchtime in Rome

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight's episode 182 is entitled, “Meeting your toddler's emotional needs.” It's hard for us to express how we feel. It is rare for people to even know what their emotional needs are and how they can be met. What must it be like for a baby or toddler who cannot express what they don't understand that they're feeling? Further, what can parents do to keep them from feeling scared and alone? We'll be talking about that this week at The Table

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight's episode 181 is entitled, “Reel Observations.” Social media has impacted our lives in so many ways. What can we learn from it from an emotional needs perspective? We'll be looking at many examples tonight at The Table! Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight's episode 180 is entitled, “Be prepared.” Are your relationships "good enough?" When is "good enough" not going to be good enough? Tonight at The Table we're going to be talking about why you should be prepared for tough times in your relationship(s). Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight's episode 179 is entitled, “Narcissism, Feelings vs Emotions pt3.” What is a narcissist? Why does narcissism fly in the face of loving others? How does narcissism use feelings instead of meeting others emotions? We're talking about that tonight at The Table.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight's is episode 178 entitled, “Feelings vs Emotions pt2.” Do you find people of faith don't respond to you emotionally? Do you get platitudes and judgment rather than true comfort? Does God care about our emotions? This week at The Table we will continue our discussion on Feelings vs Emotions and look at what God has to do with all of it.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight's is episode 177 entitled, “Feelings vs Emotions.” What is the difference between feelings and emotions? Why do feelings get so much attention while emotions are most often misunderstood and ignored? We're talking about that this week at The Table. Feelings vs. Emotions Last week, we hit on a topic when Brian said “feelings are different than emotions” and we began a discussion about what that really means? So what DOES it mean? It is important to note that psychologists spend years studying and defining this on a clinical and scholastic level.  It is our goal/motive to make this relatable and understandable on a practical level.   Feelings are ambiguous and superficial, found directly in the conscience We feel “good” or “bad” but don't have the vocabulary to explain why They are fleeting and ever-shifting Brian's take: In and of themselves, they never satisfy. They're like an undefined drug that we look to “hit”, and when we can't get that “hit” we're looking for, we feel empty and lacking Satan LOVES to deal and operate on the “feelings” level People are keenly aware of their feelings and demand that they be accounted for. In the most general of terms, the 4 places hurts go are the primary (negative) emotions Angry Guilty Fearful Self-condemning Emotions are eternal and fundamental, they exist in the subconscience Emotions and emotional awareness are intentional and defined (as we've been doing for the past 176 episodes) Emotions are concrete and tangible. They are as real as our DNA. Emotions are what fuels (along with physical stimuli) our feelings People are largely unaware of their emotions and are manipulated by them When our emotional needs are unmet or taken from us we experience negative feelings.

Perhaps it comes down to this If we ensure that our emotional needs are met, we will be most likely to meet them in others If we don't have a high need for a certain emotional need we will be less likely (but not unable) to meet it in others. If we have a high need, and it's not being met, it will be most challenging to even try to meet it in others. Why isn't loving others/ourselves happening more often? Review why, in general, why we do or don't meet others needs. If we ensure that our emotional needs are met, we will be most likely to meet them in others If we don't have a high need for a certain emotional need we will be less likely (but not unable) to meet it in others. If we have a high need, and it's not being met, it will be most challenging to even try to meet it in others. Why do we not see an emotional need in others when we do not share that same need (6aii)? If people are not meeting the needs of others, how often is this the reason? Review being open, honest, and vulnerable. Review mutual giving Review Christ at the center Give examples How often is the reason for people not meeting others needs (loving them) due to THEIR needs not being met (6aiii)? Brian will probably expand on this a lot Division, being alone, fear, anxiety, etc.

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself Part 2 | Episode 175 by Lunchtime in Rome

"Love your neighbor as yourself." A famous commandment from the bible. We talked about it 2 podcasts ago in our "Respect" episode. We realized that THIS topic would take an entire session at The Table. We even intimated that it could take several. TONIGHT begins that journey! What does it mean to love others? What does it even mean to love yourself? Can we apply this to EVERY emotional need? We'll be talking about some of that at The Table this evening.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight's is episode 173 entitled, “Podcast Meeting.” This week at The Table we are having a meeting about the future of the podcast. Where do we want to go from here? What type of guests should we have? What topics should we cover? How is our overall format? We're talking about that at The Table this evening Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 172 entitled “Respect”. Is there an emotional need more often taken from us or not met than respect? It sure seems like there isn't a lot of it in our world today. It's certainly the one most often communicated. But what really is respect when you break it down? We're talking about that emotional need at The Table this evening

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 171 entitled “Online Comfort”. We talk about how to comfort people so very often here at The Table. Person to person and face to face it is important for us to join people in their emotions. Too few people try to do this let alone do it well (hence this podcast). HOWEVER, what about on social media? Do we join people in their emotions there? This week we will look at three examples of people either mourning or rejoicing and we'll take a look at how their "friends" both do and do not join them in their emotions. Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 170 entitled “Encouragement”. When you are completing a task does it feel good to know that others believe that you can get it done? Do you find yourself telling others that they can do it? Do you get a boost when someone checks in and asks you how a project is going? If you've answered yes to any or all of these you probably have a high need for encouragement. We're talking about that emotional need at The Table tonight! Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table! It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 169 entitled “How was your Summer?”. What was good? What was not so great? What was totally AWESOME? Please take a minute and tell us live! We'd like to spend some time this week at The Table to celebrate and commiserate with all that has gone on this summer. Too often, we don't have anyone with which to share our highs and lows. We want to be that for you! We're talking about that at The Table this evening. First time listeners can subscribe on your favorite podcast app, watch us LIVE at lunchtimeinrome.com/live or listen directly on Lunctimeinrome.com. While there you can take our relational needs questionnaire. Make sure to follow us on all social media and it would be great if you give us a five star review. Being alone is the worst. Good times aren't as good and bad times are worse when you are all alone. Romans 12:15 says to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. That is how you keep people from being alone and what this podcast is all about. We demonstrate that in the first 15 minutes of the podcast and talk about it for the rest. So while it may not be 12:15 in Rome, we're treating it like it is Lunchtime in Rome.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 168 entitled “Joe Mitlo, one year later”. What's it like to be the guy that everyone believes has it all together but inside you have EVERY doubt in the world? What's it like to be left alone at college and not know how you're going to make it through the weekend, let alone the entire school year? What's it like to be that guy one year later?. We're talking about that at The Table this evening. Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 167 entitled “Comfort - A Deep Dive” When we are hurt there is only one way for the hurt to be healed...comfort. There are many ways we deal (or don't deal) with hurts, however, having someone attach comfort to our grief is the only way that we can truly move on in healthy fashion. We're talking about that at The Table this evening. Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

The Best Food Ever | Episode 166 by Lunchtime in Rome

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 165 entitled “Relationship Communication” You're in a relationship and something bothers you. How do you communicate what you're feeling? How does it leave the other person feeling? Do they feel motivated to change or does it just go bad from there? Tonight we'll be talking about the best way to go about expressing your hurts in a way that helps both of you! Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 164 entitled “Injustice In Loss”. Our guest tonight is Matt Cresto, a father and husband who recently went through one of the most excruciating and difficult things a person can go through - watching his beloved bride, Christy, confined to a hospital bed, slowly pass away right in front of his eyes while simultaneously welcoming a new baby onto the planet. You can read his entire journey - and all of the horrific details he carefully documented during the process - at FightforChristy.com. Disclaimer: there are some big hot button issues in this episode. Our sole intent is to hear Matt's story and discuss the deep well of hurts and emotions he experienced through this horrific process without pushing an agenda. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this episode belong solely to Matt, and not necessarily to the Lunchtime In Rome podcast or any of our other affiliates.. Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 163 entitled “Abby Herr”. What is the perspective like of a 10 year old growing up with an increasing knowledge of emotional needs? What's it like being the youngest in a family that tries to practice healthy emotional responding in a world that desperately needs this understanding, even in the world of a 10 year old? We'll be discussing all of this an more tonight at the Table! Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 162 entitled “Belonging” Does it matter to you that you have a close knit friend group? Are you always on a team or part of a club? Do you love AND enjoy being a part of your family? Does it matter to you that you are good at whatever role you play in a relationship? If you answered yes to those questions, you probably have a high need for belonging. We're talking about that tonight here at The Table. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 161 entitled “Attention” There is a negative connotation with attention. Why is that? What makes someone need attention? Why can they be SO annoying when they don't get attention? We'll be talking about that at The Table this evening.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 160 entitled “Ethan Herr pt.2.” Ethan Herr will be with us once again (see episode 109 for his first visit) to discuss what it was like to, not only endure, but thrive through some extremely difficult times this past year. Do you remember your freshman year? Do you remember what challenges you faced? Do you remember trying to find where you fit in? Ethan JUST experienced all of that and more. We'll be talking about all of that and more tonight! Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 159 entitled “Douglas Bentley.” Douglas Bentley has a 45 year friendship with Jay. He has an amazing marriage. He is a great father. He has coached many young men. He's a proud veteran of the Air Force. He has had a relationship with the city of Atlanta (Dekalb county) as a police officer for 26 years, rising to lead the Atlanta 911 call center. We'll be talking about all of that and his greatest relationship tonight. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome.  Tonight is episode 158 entitled “Appreciation.”  Appreciation seems like a simple emotional need but it can really cause problems in a relationship when one needs it and the other does not.  Where is it needed?  How is it met?  What happens when it's not met?  We'll be taking a look at all things appreciation at The Table this evening.   Appreciation What is it? - Expressing thanks, praise or commendation. Recognizing accomplishment or effort particularly for what someone does. What causes it? Having it met constantly as a child NOT having it met as a child Where is it needed? For gifts and favors For meaningful conversations/relational interactions For who you are as a person Your relationship to others (similar to belonging) Your characteristics Your talents/hobbies/abilities For everyday chores responsibilities How is it met? Verbal expressions Written expressions - notes, cards, texts. Public expressions - social media, social gatherings, family events How is it not met/how are we hurt by not receiving it? Not giving it Giving it to others How do we “steal” it when it is not met? Giving it when we want it. Asking about that for which we would like to be appreciated Stopping doing the things for which we'd like to be appreciated Stopping doing other things for other people Drawing attention to our hurt Slamming drawers, acting out Detaching from others Verbal sighs/groans, physical posture/facial expressions Getting the need met elsewhere When we do not receive appreciation, how are we hurt? Fear  - almost manic attempt to do things better Guilt Believing that you haven't done enough to get appreciation Believing that you haven't appreciated others enough Self Condemnation The feeling that one's actions are not worth appreciating The feeling that one's self is not worthy of appreciation Anger Not doing that which you wanted appreciation Not meeting others needs Spending time getting it met elsewhere

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 157 entitled “Amy Rayman.” We do our very best to help everyone to not feel alone. Who's more alone than someone with a sick child? Not many. THAT is one of the many great things about Amy Rayman who will be with us at The Table this week. Amy has spent much of her career raising funds for families undergoing the worst life has to offer. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 156 entitled “Spring Springs Hope.” What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks? What is something that you are striving for and feels like it is, oh so, close? What is the carrot dangling in the near distance that keeps you taking the next step forward? That is what we will be discussing this evening. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

How to break the cycle Seek God's input on the matter How does He feel about what you've done? How does He feel for the other person? Listen!! Understand where the hurts go and be mindful/loving with that knowledge Avoid directing anger/fear AT the other person Try not to have your guilt/self condemnation cloud the truth What are their hurts, what needs were not met or taken from them? How do you like that need to be met? How can you meet their need while your need(s) are also met? Realize that meeting another's needs is loving them Be aware of your and their emotional needs (as compared to the hurts)? Commit to being OHV Be very careful if THIS has been a problem If both people are not committed to this, many future hurts will be created Heal all hurts Outside - Heal old wounds Attach comfort one on one Have others comfort if needed Seek outside counsel in navigating this if neccesary Inside - Confess, Understand, Forgive Seek WISE counsel An outside perspective is valuable Do not seek an echo chamber Do not simply vent/gossip/disrespect What's next? Replace bad patterns with good Regular check-ins in regards to needs and hurts Spending time building the relationship outside of needs and conflict Allow for grace within the relationship

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 154 entitled “Bad Patterns in Relationships.” We all fall into bad patterns in our relationships. Why does that happen? What is really behind it all? How can we possibly break that destructive cycle? Is there hope? Pull up a chair at the table and join us! Bad Patterns What are they? Cyclical conflict in a relationship Having the same fight over different details What are their characteristics? Every decision/conflict is handled the same way and it is not productive Every major conflict is about the same “thing” with different causes for the incident What causes it? General - conflict between where hurts go Anger/Guilt Anger/Self Condemnation Fear/Guilt Fear/Self Condemnation Anger & Fear look outward, Guilt & Self Condemnation inward' Procedural Conflict between emotional needs Opposite “need” of needs in general Respect vs. Security Affection vs. Security/Respect Encouragement vs. Support Attention vs. Acceptance Not being open, honest and vulnerable Not communicating the need - open Stealing the need - honest Being afraid (perhaps rightfully so) that the need won't be met - vulnerable Not mutually giving - one or both of the people are not loving the other by meeting an OHV communicated need. Unresolved Hurts Past hurts outside of a relationship that have not been comforted Past hurts within a relationship that have not been confessed, understood and forgiven Inhibits intimacy which prohibits the meeting of other needs Reduces the impact of other needs being met Clouds or diminishes an altruistic attempt to meet a need

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 153 entitled “Affection.” Do you love a hug? Do you need your loved ones to say, "I love you" every time you hang up the phone? How much do you need affection? Where did it come from? Did you always get it? Have you never had it? What do you do when you don't get that need met? Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 152 entitled “Ashley Cesaratto.” Ashley is a proud Penn Hills Alum, amazing musician, appreciated teacher, creator of the GIANT Pittsburgh Foodies Facebook page, and regular at The Table with us! Eric is having a good week with Amy and Mags, Brian celebrated Lex's birthday, and Jay was super busy but in the moment.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 151 entitled, “Alone but not Lonely.” Are you surrounded by people but have no one to REALLY talk to about your hurts? Do you have many conversations but find yourself NOT talking about what you really want or need to talk about? Are you both connected to lots of people and yet, at times, feel like you're on an island emotionally? If so please know that you're not the only one. This week at The Table we'll be talking about a new idea that might help many people just like you, maybe even you.

Eric is proud of Mags, Jay had a rough week, but went to Wheeling with Rachel and eats at Rachel's on 16th while his Rachel almost beats a billiard pro at pool, and Chris is suffering from allergies. Have you ever had an interaction with a (or some) friend(s) that left you hurt or at least not comforted? Have you ever had a friend have unrealistic expectations in your relationship that left you feeling judged? Of course you have, we ALL have. Tonight, the boys will be going over an illustration/application of this exact same thing that just happened between them. Tonight's podcast will be a perfect example of many of the principles that they talk about every week at The Table.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 149 entitled, Acceptance. What is the emotional need of Acceptance? How do we get it met? How are we hurt when we are not accepted? This is what we're talking about tonight. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 148 entitled “What is Joy?”. Joy is something separate from happiness. How is it different? What is joy vs. happiness? What is true joy? If what we talked about two weeks ago was specific to what makes us happy or brings us "joy", tonight we will be talking about joy in general. What is it? Why is it different than happiness? How can we attain it? How can we maintain it? These are all things we will go over this evening at The Table. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 147 entitled “Alexis Herr”. You got to know Lex when she hosted the "Ladies Take Over" podcast #100! She has A LOT to share as this has been a long time coming. She also happens to be my wife, and I'm so glad she's able to finally make this appearance. I'm really grateful to be doing this with her, because as we'll hear, just getting up in the morning and staying above water all day can be nearly impossible. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 146 entitled “Joy”. Sitting at the table can be a bit heavy from time to time. Tonight we are focusing on the first part of Romans 12:15. "Rejoice with those who rejoice"...kind of. We're going to share what brings us joy. What brings you joy? We'd love for you to share that with us. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 145 entitled “Why So Angry?”. It seems that a lot of people are dealing with more and more anger. Whether it be sudden bursts or a constant pressure, there's more anger than there used to be. Why? What's causing it and what can be done about it? We're talking about that this evening. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 144 entitled ``Lia Llewellyn”. Lia came into our world when she began dating Joe Mitlo just over one year ago. She is a great young lady with a very bright future, and a challenging past. We look forward to having her at the table this evening. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 143 entitled ``What happens when plans change?”. "What happens to you (emotionally) when plans change?" Do you just roll with it? Is it a deal breaker? Do you break out into a cold sweat? Does it GIVE you energy and motivation? Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 142 entitled Mass Formation. 3 weeks ago we were planning to revisit the phenomena of Mass Formation. In that time so much has happened in the world of the pandemic and people's reactions to it. While so much has changed, the reality of Mass Formation has not. We'll be examining why people are acting the way they are and how we can remain in (or return to) a peaceful state of mind despite all that is going on. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 141 entitled New Year Resolutions. This week we will be going over the past year and give you a bit of an inside look as to where we have been and where we're going. We'll also be going over New Year's resolutions and what might be a better alternative. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 140 entitled Relationship Grace. With different people having many different views on how to deal with the pandemic it is bound to rear its ugly head in families and friendships. How much relationship grace can one extend? Should one continue to acquiesce to those in our lives? We're talking about that tonight. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table.  It's Lunchtime in Rome.  Tonight is episode 139 entitled Christmas, now or then? Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 138 entitled advice for married couples! Last week we went over marriage tips 1-9 from life coach Tyler Todt. We agreed, disagreed, and applied them to our relationships. Tonight we go over tips 9 - 18 and hopefully hear from you as well! Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 137 entitled advice for married couples! You hear from us week in and week out at the table. This week, you get to hear from an “expert” on marriage. Tyler Todt is an author and coach on fitness, life and marriage. He put together a guide to a successful marriage. Tonight, we'll look at those tips and learn, agree and even….disagree? Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 136 entitled Thanksgiving Side Dishes Plus! We normally talk 90% about relationships and 10% about food, tonight we talk 90% about FOOD!!! What makes up the perfect Thanksgiving meal? What are the most over and underrated side dishes? What is the least traditional thing you make/eat on Thanksgiving?

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 135 entitled Marriage Advice Part 2. When you say I do, you have no idea what you're saying I do...to. However, it can be said that you also have no idea (really) WHO you are saying "I do" to. By the time you get married you have SOME idea (hopefully) but so often you don't really know for years and years later (if you make it that far). Some say you never really can understand who your spouse really is. What about you?

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 134 entitled Marriage Advice? We've talked for the last two weeks about some of the heavier parts of marriage. Now, we get to lighten things up a bit. Tonight we'll be talking about good marriage practices and patterns. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 133 entitled Marriage Fights Part 2. When you and your significant other have disagreements/fights, how do you resolve those situations? Every couple goes through fights, we talked about that last week. But there are SO MANY different ways to get through them. How do you go about it? Do you work through your problems or do you just "move on?" We'll be talking about that this evening.

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It's Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight is episode 132 entitled Every couple is aware that they have disagreements (fights). However, every couple may not realize that they actually have the exact same fight, over and over again, with different details. Does this apply to you? When there is conflict between you and your significant other, what is it? We'll be talking about that this evening. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!