New Normal in Parenting

In our final episode, we share what we have learned from speaking to all of our guests from Season I. This was a labor of love for us, and we both agreed that we did not regret recording this podcast series one bit. Even though it took up a lot of time out of our already busy schedules, we have been able to grow from this experience, and we hope our listeners have, too. This was our self-care, or Collective Care, as podcast guest Rebecca Anuru of Dream Keep Consulting pointed out. Podcast co-host, Flora Huang, shares some valuable information she learned from the different episodes that had helped her cope as a parent during these trying times, as well as some personal information discussing why it is important for her to lead by example. We want to thank all of you for tuning in, especially those who subscribed to this podcast series, taking time out of your schedule to hear our thoughts and the valuable insight from our guests. We hope that you have learned just as much as we have. We especially want to thank all our guests for taking time out of their busy schedules to speak to us. Remember to like our Facebook page @NewNormalinParentingPodcast, and you will get updates on when Season II will be out. Ebony and Flora will be taking a much-needed and much-deserved break.

Our final episode before the Finale of Season I. After discussing co-parenting, we had to devote an episode that focuses on dads, as we know that the voices of Dads are often not heard, focusing more on mothers, but we both know the important role that dads play in the lives of children. We particularly wanted to give BIPOC men, particularly Black fathers, a voice, as we know that many of the negative stereotypes of Black fathers are simply not true; a study conducted by the CDC confirmed what many of us already knew. In the words of one of our guests, Black fathers are given every label except "present", and we know that that is simply not true. We want to thank Aubrey LeGrier of Dads Unlimited, Derek Thomas of Real Dads Network, and Scott Leach of the New York City Department of Youth and Community Development for sitting down with us to have this very important discussion and helping us provide some education for two mothers and our audience. We want to thank all of you who have joined us on this journey and listened to our thoughts and the expert opinion of our guests. We hope all of you have learned as much as we have from tuning in, as we have from recording them. Look out for our season finale, as we reflect back on everything we have learned from our guests who have all provided us with valuable insight.

We are in the process of closing out Season I, and we thank all of you for your support throughout this journey. Our latest episode focuses on co-parenting during the pandemic, as this is a topic that affects both of us. We were joined by Tera Gurney, former director of Henry Street Settlement's Parent Center who continues to provide workshops for Henry Street Settlement, which are still in high demand. Tera, herself, is a parent who is also a stepmother, so she has both a personal and professional understanding of the situation. Tera's Co-Parenting workshop was always one of the most popular workshops offered. As usual, she provides some very valuable information, whether you are parallel parenting, co-parenting, or doing something in between. As Tera points out, no situation is better; it is just what works for you.

Continuing with our discussion about Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), we turn to the private schools that have also had to confront their own practices, which may have also led to institutional bias and systemic racism. Critical Race Theory has recently been a hotly debated topic in different social circles, as BIPoC communities, including children and parents, share their experiences of being marginalized in many different institutions and settings. We were joined by Verta Maloney, founder of 45 Lemons and GameHers, who is a private school parent who also provides Anti-Racist training to organizations. When we asked her what needs to happen to promote real reform and inclusiveness, she answered, "Are you willing to lose your job for it?" This is not to say that she wants people to lose their jobs but the need for reform is so dire that it requires some of us to stick out our necks to and risk possibly losing our job if we want to see real change and reform. How many professionals are willing to do that?

As a follow-up to our College Admissions episode, we discussed the Specialized High School Admissions Test (SHSAT) and the Gifted and Talent admissions process, and what parents have been adjusting during this pandemic. We sat down with Allison Shillingford, founder of Navigate the Maze to Achievement, a non-profit organization created to prepare Black and Latin middle school students for the high school admissions process. We discuss the distinction between the for-profit and non-profit test prep programs, whether the SHSAT is relevant, and how we can continue to achieve real equity and inclusion to allow for more under-represented students (Black, Latin, low-income students, etc.) to attend the Specialized High Schools. We also discuss how the Specialized High Schools and Gifted and Talented programs are special education programs that were designed for neurodivergent children, a concept often not discussed in the SHSAT and G & T debate. To learn more about Navigate the Maze to Achievement and the work they do prepare students, not just for the SHSAT but making sure they thrive in their new high school environment, visit their Website: www.ntmanyc.org To read some of the think pieces written by Flora on this subject, which she mentions in the episode, click on the links here and here. You can also read her testimony to the City Council of New York and a hearing held by New York State Senators, Robert Jackson and John Liu, here.

Trigger and Content Warning: Anxiety, Depression, Suicidality, Holiday Stress, PTSD The holidays can be a joyful time of year for many families, but we also know that it can also bring on stress and anxiety for others, and, for some, it can even be triggering for those who have endured painful memories during the holidays. For others, it may even bring on feelings of depression and loneliness, as they see others enjoying the holidays with friends and families, and, as one of our guests pointed out, you can be together with someone and still feel lonely. As we approach our second year of dealing with the holidays during the pandemic, many of those feelings have been escalated even further. We were joined, again, by Rebecca Anuru, Founder and Lead Facilitative Consultant of Dream Keep Consulting and Karmita Morgan-Randall, Co-Chair of the Citywide Oversight Committee of the Coordinated Children's Services Initiative (CCSI), who were our guests for the first Mental Health Episode we launched in August, and shared what they are hearing from families. We were also joined by Brett Scudder from the Scudder Intervention Services Foundation, Inc. (SISFI) and The Suicide Institute, who shared his own experience with surviving a suicide attempt and what he is hearing from the clients he works with and the current statistics on suicide and suicide attempts. Mr. Scudder started SISFI because he pointed out that the programs designed to address mental health concerns can often be more triggering than the mental health issue itself andsought to reform the system. Despite all of these dire statistics, we wanted to record this podcast to let people know that you are not alone, and there are organizations out there who are willing to listen. We are also hoping that social service and education professionals listen to this episode to get a better idea of what some of the families you are working with might be going through right now and how a little empathy can go a long way. To learn more about SISFI, visit their Website at: www.sisfi.org To learn more about Dream Keep Consulting, visit their Website at: www.DreamKeepConsulting.com Clarification: About 25% of the Common Cold are caused by Coronaviruses, not SARS CoV2 - the virus that causes Covid-19. Rhinoviruses, another RNA virus, accounts for most causes of the Common Cold, about half, while Adenoviruses, a DNA virus, are the third most common cause of the Common Cold. DNA viruses do not mutate as much as RNA viruses, which is why there are less strains of Adenoviruses than Coronaviruses and Rhinoviruses.

The pandemic has thrown everything off course, creating these "natural experiments" that have shifted every part of our lives and made us rethink the validity of certain procedures we have taken for granted for years. The college admissions process is no exception. Parents and their children are now questioning the importance of getting into a "highly rejective school", a term coined by our guest featured in this episode. As more schools have made the decision to become test-optional, it has reinvigorated the debate about the relevance of exams such as the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) and the one offered by American College Testing (ACT). We also discuss issues of equity and how we can make the process fairer for teens with the potential to do well and thrive in these academic environments but may not be born with the same advantages and privileges that many of their peers have to allow them to compete in a level playing field. We sat down with test prep expert and college consultant, Akil Bello - Senior Director of Advocacy and Advancement of Fair Test, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping institutions of higher learning and the public understand the implications of standardized exams and their influence on our society. He is sought after by many media outlets such as Forbes magazine and was featured in the Netflix documentary, Operation Varsity Blues. There are no easy answers, but Akill helps us put everything in perspective. To find out more about Akil and his work, follow him on Twitter: @akilbello. To support the work at Fair Test, visit their Website: www.fairtest.org They also provide a list of test-optional schools: www.fairtest.org/university/optional As always, please share this episode with others if you found it informative and helpful.

This episode follows up on our previous episode, which focused on Navigating the IEP process. In this episode, we discuss services to help children transition into adulthood, especially those with IEPs or Section 504 accommodations,  whether they are looking to enroll in college, enter the workforce, or attend vocational training. We were joined by Taniqua Hunter, Business Relations Representative, and Erica Samedy, District Transition Coordinator, who have over 40 years of career and vocational counseling, combined. We discuss how the pandemic has made it difficult for some young adults who wanted to continue their studies or go out to work but were not ready to because of fears of getting Covid. We discussed how the quarantine made vocational training particularly difficult for certain trades such as cosmetology and plumbing, how remote learning worked for some students with disabilities while did not work at all for other students, and we discuss how some students with certain learning differences can thrive in certain professions such as adults on the Autism spectrum who can do well as coders and electricians and why it is beneficial and the law for employers to make the accommodations for someone with that disability. We also discuss how telecommuting can be a perfect accommodation for someone with a disability as well as those who do not have one. We hope you tune in as both Taniqua and Erica provide us with some very helpful information for your teen who is moving closer to adulthood. Feel free to share your thoughts on our various social media platforms, as we want to hear from you.

The pandemic has been particularly challenging to parents of children with Individualized Education Plans (IEPs), i.e. children with special needs. As if dealing with remote learning was challenging enough, many children were unable to get the services they needed due to social distancing guidelines. This made it especially difficult for children with delays who were unable to receive adequate support services they needed. While some children thrived during remote learning, a good amount did not. We sat down with Lucina Clarke, Executive Director and Co-Founder of My Time, Inc., a non-profit based in Brooklyn founded to provide support services for families with special needs. My Time educates and teaches parents how to more effectively advocate for their children while also providing a support group for parents. We discuss the challenges of navigating the I.E.P even before the pandemic while discussing the new challenges of navigating that IEP during the pandemic. If you have a child with an I.E.P or you are considering referring your child to Committee for Special Education or Committee (CSE) for Preschool Special Education (CPSE) to have your child evaluated to determine if they are eligible for an I.E.P, tune into this episode, as Ms. Clarke provides some very helpful information. She also discusses the difference between an I.E.P and Section 504 accommodations, the law put in place to provide accommodations for anyone with a disability. To learn more about My Time, click on their Website here. You can also follow them on Social Media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Continuing with our discussion of schools re-opening, we sit down with Sara Catalinotto and Milagros Cancel, active members of Parents to Improve School Transportation (PIST), who discuss what is happening in the world of school bus parents and their everyday struggles of getting adequate service for their child that meets their needs. PIST NYC is a parent-led organization that has advocated for improved bus service here in New York. In NYC, 150,000 children rely on the school bus; 60,000 of them have special needs, where the school bus is another related service provided on their Individualized Education Plan (IEP). While parents have always been concerned about the less than adequate service they receive from the school bus before the pandemic, Covid-19 has brought on a new set of challenges, especially now that schools are running at 100% capacity, whereas last year they were running at 25% capacity, which allowed for social distancing. This is then compounded by the shortage of school bus drivers and attendants that is happening nationwide, which Sara and Milagros could have been resolved if bus drivers and attendants were granted the Employee Protection Provision (EPP) that they have requested. Hazard Pay and fair work conditions are also necessary, as drivers and attendants risk their lives to bring children to school. Sara and Milagros also discuss the School Bus Bill of Rights that PIST NYC drafted, which Milagros emphasized the need to file a class-action lawsuit, as this is a Civil Rights issue. To learn more about PIST NYC and their work, please the links below: PIST NYC Website Twitter Facebook

In our follow-up episode on schools re-opening, we invited school nurse, Margarita Marasigan, who discusses the importance of getting the Covid-19 vaccine and other protective measures schools are taking to protect their students and families. This includes keeping your child home when they have any type of symptoms, even if it might not be Covid, and taking a community pledge to not put yourself in situations that may increase your exposure to the virus. For example, Margarita mentions that if a parent is invited to a wedding that is taking place in a state with a high rate of Covid, maybe that parent should politely decline, as the actions we do outside of school may put others in the school at risk. We also discuss why we dislike the "Perfect Attendance" award that schools often give and why it is important for sick days to be mandatory for every employee. Margarita reminds us that although the vaccine is still not available for children under 12, this is why it is so important for everyone else to get vaccinated, as it protects those who are not eligible for the vaccine.

Our follow-up episode on schools reopening features parent and educator activist, Farah Despeignes of Bronx Parent Leaders, who is also a member of Community Education Coucil 8. We continue to discuss the push for the remote learning option and why the New York City Department of Education continues to be resistant to it, even with the looming Delta variant of the virus that has infected so many, not to mention that children under 12 can not be vaccinated yet. We have included some information about Bronx Parent Leaders and some of the work they and other organizations are doing to push for the remote learning option. Social Media Handles: Like / Follow/ Subscribe to us on all platforms and comment on our posts: Facebook: @bxparentleaders Twitter: @bxparentleaders Instagram: @bxparentleaders YouTube: Bronx Parent Leaders Advocacy Group Email: advocate@bxparentleaders.org Petition link: BXPLAG Petition: https://bit.ly/BXPLAG-S-R-S Petition in Support of Bronx PLAG's Demand for a Remote Option: https://www.change.org/p/mayor-bill-de-blasio-support-students-educators-school-staff-and-parents-fighting-for-a-remote-option?recruiter=8107268&recruited_by_id=2adac2e0-07a8-0130-d1d9-00221968d0e0&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=petition_dashboard Phone Banking Announcement ( for the attached call to action flier) : Remote Option Phone Blast to Our Elected Officials - Joining Forces with QRRC and PRESS NYC Dear Bronx PLAG Members and Friends of Bronx PLAG, Please join the Queens Restore Remote Coalition and PRESS NYC in amplifying the work we are doing by participating in this phone-banking action to call our elected officials to demand that the Mayor and the Chancellor give NYC Students a remote option. Please see the attached flier. Also, please use the links below to get into the fight. Thank you so much for your hard work to obtain a remote option for our families in the Bronx and throughout NYC. Please use the link below to find your elected officials. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1MQS27O0KshptfHfnqGMJIeMaWdFYFi-BtGt2SCKh7VQ/edit#gid=1313217883 2. Please use the link below to find the scripts that you can use to call or email your elected officials. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FfGTsu4akP8DtkNambvHzOnk4BuQ_mELGp2OTtSWhNk/edit?usp=drive_web 3. Please use the link below to log in your calls, so that the organizers can assess progress and plan next steps. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1d3B7W94lBswd5rgp9MXAH_-AkzTiW646g0ViWg0HtY4/edit?usp=drive_web New Normal in Parenting is a production of Stronger Families and Communities and Liberated Success, Inc.

To continue our discussion on mental health and the impact it has had on children and families, not to mention the anxiety many of us now feel with schools re-opening, we invited clinical psychologist, Matt Zakreski (Dr. Matt), to provide some guidance to parents and caregivers wanting to know how they can better support their children and themselves. We also discuss the impact that this has had on neurodivergent children and how this pandemic has been affecting them. Dr. Matt gives us some interesting advice we were not expecting regarding parents who still want the remote option, especially with the looming Delta variant very present right now. Dr. Matt illustrated a very important point. If you are at a dinner party, and the house sets on fire, do you continue to eat and carry on a conversation as if there is no fire? Unfortunately, too many people, including those in the education system, are acting that way. The reality is that we have been in fight-or-flight mode for the past 17 months, and we have to acknowledge that. Dr. Matt advises that rather than pretend that everything is fine, we need to own our feelings, similar to what Rebecca Anuru and Karmita Morgan-Randall mentioned in our last episode on mental health. Dr. Matt emphasizes that it is ok to be upset right now. We also continued the discussion about educators insisting that students turn on the camera during remote learning. *Please note that New Normal in Parenting is only a platform to discuss issues affecting parents during the pandemic. We neither endorse nor advise against any advice expert panelists share with us.

This week our guests are Rebecca Anuru, Project Manager at Vibrant Emotional Health and Founder of Dream Keep Consulting and Karmita M-Randall. Both are representing the Coordinated Children's Services Initiative (CCSI), a coalition of mental health and other social service organizations working to improve systems throughout the City to work better for families. We discuss teletherapy, parental self-care, and liberation. We learn a new term called Collective Care, and we discuss why the systems designed to support families can often make it more difficult. For example, with all that is going on right now, why are some educators so insistent on having their students turn the camera on during remote learning? We discuss this and many other topics that affect the mental well-being of our children, particularly children who are under-served. Rebecca Anuru contact: rebecca@dreamkeepconsulting.com; ranuru@vibrant.org Instagram: @dreamkeepconsultingllc Website: dreamkeepconsulting.com and my COVID info guide can be found at https://www.dreamkeepconsulting.com/covid-19 Listen, Comment, Like, Share.

Flora Huang and Ebony Tyler are two education/social service professionals who are also raising children during this pandemic. Ebony has two boys, 16 years old and 14 years old, as does Flora, a 5-year-old and a 15-year-old. Like many parents, they are dealing with the challenges of raising children during this very trying time, as being placed in quarantine has brought on a new set of challenges. Both have felt the frustrated feeling as if too many educators and service providers are acting as if we are still in a pre-pandemic environment, and they know that other parents are feeling the same pinch of being pulled at all ends to accommodate for everyone else, as they are, too.