Podcasts about pist

Join Paul Joules and Vítor Pistóia as they do a deep dive into the USDA's May WASDE figures, shedding light on what the 2025/26 season may bring to the global G&O and cotton markets.  RaboResearch Disclaimer: Please refer to our Australian RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.com.au/knowledge/disclaimer, our New Zealand RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.co.nz/knowledge/disclaimer, and our Global RaboResearch disclaimer at https://research.rabobank.com/far/en/footer/disclaimer.html for information about the scope and limitations of the Australian, New Zealand, and Global RaboResearch material published on the podcast.

Aqui teneis los prompts ... https://www.notion.so/Prompts-para-mejorar-el-analisis-de-documentos-por-IA-s-1f159bd4983580a78205c4ffb86d3ce3?pvs=4 Aqui el documento... https://t.me/c/2583521874/107 Aquí cuando utilizar cada modelo de Open IA. https://help.openai.com/en/articles/11165333-chatgpt-enterprise-models-limits Aqui mas cosas... Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

On today's episode, CORINNE FISHER and KRYSTYNA HUTCHINSON open their email inbox to hear from a f*cker perplexed over her small town's star treatment of a male celebrity who was Me Too'd a few years back. C&K then discuss definitely not wanting kids and the circumstances surrounding the death of Virginia Giuffre before welcoming their guest, DASH KATZ, to the studio. The trio discuss the drama you encounter on a reality competition show, sneaking around a guy's snoring mother to have a short-lived hookup, being vivaciously bi-sexual, the sudden loss of a parent, the trauma of being human, and the beauty of having a poetic and sensitive father.Follow DASH on IG: @DashKatzFollow CORINNE on IG @PhilanthropyGalFollow KRYSTYNA on IG @KrystynaHutchFollow ERIC on IG @EricFretty To read more, donate, or sign up to volunteer for Corinne's NYC Mayoral Campaign, visit: https://www.corinnefisher.com/ Want to write into the show? Send us an email SorryAboutLastNightShow@gmail.com MUSIC CREDITS FOR TODAY'S EPISODE:LxToxIn the Morning https://music.apple.com/ca/song/in-the-morning/1757889567 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pistääkö Suomen ratakisaskene kiroilemaan? Miten pääset maratonin alle kolmeen tuntiin? Tarviiko juosta kovaa, jos haluaa kehittää peruskestävyyttä? Näihin ja moniin muihin kysymyksiin vastaukset tarjoilee Runner's High Podcast. Tällä kertaa siis jälleen luvassa kuuntelijakysymksiä ihan koko jakson verran!Studiossa podcastin peruskalusto eli Aki Nummela ja Tero Forsberg.

Prueba Qwen en chat.qwen.ai El hornillo que os he dicho. https://amzn.to/42LwPHM La bateria Bluetti de 10001 a menos buen precio. https://amzn.to/3EXXgAJ Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Join RaboResearch analyst Paul Joules and senior analyst Vítor Pistóia as they discuss Australian farmland prices and RaboResearch's expectations for the year ahead.   RaboResearch Disclaimer: Please refer to our Australian RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.com.au/knowledge/disclaimer, our New Zealand RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.co.nz/knowledge/disclaimer, and our Global RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.com/knowledge/disclaimer/011410028/disclaimer for information about the scope and limitations of the Australian, New Zealand, and Global RaboResearch material published on the podcast.

El hornillo que os he dicho. https://amzn.to/42LwPHMLa bateria Bluetti de 10001 a menos buen precio. https://amzn.to/3EXXgAJSi te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcIMi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6dMi web www.discosduros.netMi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYvLa comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Joe Giacalone, aka The Sarge, joins me after a hiatus to discuss the latest with Gilgo Beach, Karen Read, Ryan Hemphill & more. Grab your coffee and join us live at 8am EDT!Watch on YouTube:https://youtube.com/live/QlQYtVpe-mU Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cosas PrepperLinterna, radio, y powerbank con dinamo... muy Prepper https://amzn.to/4lPYXkkCocina gas prepper... https://amzn.to/436gjC7Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcIMi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6dMi web www.discosduros.netMi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYvLa comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Breaking News, Out of Sunday night's Pacers-Bucks game...Damian Lillard is out for the playoffs with a left torn achilles tendon. 48 hours later and I STILL cannot stop thinking about this finish in Intuit. Where did AG's putback rank on the top 1st round moments of ALL-TIME list? What did the Chef Steph prove in his game 3 takeover and WHAT does it mean for the Warriors postseason aspirations? The Pistons are Pist off after a controversial ending in Detroit. We re-live and react to an instant classic turned CONTENTIOUS postgame scene. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Breaking News, Out of Sunday night's Pacers-Bucks game...Damian Lillard is out for the playoffs with a left torn achilles tendon. 48 hours later and I STILL cannot stop thinking about this finish in Intuit. Where did AG's putback rank on the top 1st round moments of ALL-TIME list? What did the Chef Steph prove in his game 3 takeover and WHAT does it mean for the Warriors postseason aspirations? The Pistons are Pist off after a controversial ending in Detroit. We re-live and react to an instant classic turned CONTENTIOUS postgame scene. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

El libro del que hablo... https://amzn.to/3YMWq0mAlgunas cosas más. Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcIMi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6dMi web www.discosduros.netMi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYvLa comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Relfon y RFog están a tope con la IA en local... Relfon con un Windows y una 3060 y el pollo belga con un Mac... mientras hemos perdido a Ugeek para el pocasting Mi afiliado de amazon. ⁠https://amzn.to/3EmJQy0⁠ Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter ⁠https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?⁠ Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi ⁠referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830⁠ MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento ⁠https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI⁠ Mi super ratón MX ⁠https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d⁠ Mi web ⁠www.discosduros.net⁠ Mi telefono ⁠https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv⁠ La comida de Pistón ⁠https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv⁠

Mi afiliado de amazon. ⁠https://amzn.to/3EmJQy0⁠ Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter ⁠https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?⁠ Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi ⁠referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830⁠ MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento ⁠https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI⁠ Mi super ratón MX ⁠https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d⁠ Mi web ⁠www.discosduros.net⁠ Mi telefono ⁠https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv⁠ La comida de Pistón ⁠https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv⁠

Me he comprado un nuevo teléfono móvil... un 14T pro Mi afiliado de amazon. ⁠https://amzn.to/3EmJQy0⁠ Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter ⁠https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?⁠ Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi ⁠referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830⁠ MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento ⁠https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI⁠ Mi super ratón MX ⁠https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d⁠ Mi web ⁠www.discosduros.net⁠ Mi telefono ⁠https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv⁠ La comida de Pistón ⁠https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv⁠

Lo de open AI https://platform.openai.com/docs/modelsLo de google studio... que es mejor. Ya os lo digo yo. https://aistudio.google.comMi afiliado de amazon. https://amzn.to/3EmJQy0Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.comMi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcIMi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6dMi web www.discosduros.netMi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYvLa comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Studiossa koettiin tänään kuumia tunteita, kun puhe silmälaseista saikin yllättävän käänteen...

Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

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Tervehtimisestä, tilankäytöstä, hajuhaitoista, yhteiskuntamoraalista sekä työnteon merkityksestä.

Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Un variado de Martes más. Cosas mias Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Join Vítor Pistóia  and Ben Picton as they explore the recent US tariffs affecting numerous countries, including Australia and New Zealand. Announced on 'Liberation Day', these tariffs could have significant short- and long-term impacts on the global economy and many farming sectors, such as beef, sheepmeat, wool, grains, and cotton.   RaboResearch Disclaimer: Please refer to our Australian RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.com.au/knowledge/disclaimer, our New Zealand RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.co.nz/knowledge/disclaimer, and our Global RaboResearch disclaimer at https://research.rabobank.com/far/en/footer/disclaimer.html for information about the scope and limitations of the Australian, New Zealand, and Global RaboResearch material published on the podcast.

Enlace al canal https://t.me/+gNHISY04VkhkYWNk Cosas mias Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com El canal del podcast https://t.me/+gNHISY04VkhkYWNk Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Enlace al canal https://t.me/+gNHISY04VkhkYWNk Cosas mias Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com El canal del podcast https://t.me/+gNHISY04VkhkYWNk Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

The Metal Maniacs Podcast – Episode 91: 5 Concerts That Changed Us Forever!Welcome to Episode 91 of The Metal Maniacs Podcast, hosted by *Jay Ingersoll and Nick Modd! This week, we're diving deep into the five concerts each that changed our lives forever—those once-in-a-lifetime experiences that left a permanent mark on our souls and solidified our love for heavy music. From the raw energy of death metal pioneers to the theatrical madness of shock rock legends, these are the shows that shaped us as metalheads. A few we talk about are### **Marilyn Manson – Dead to the World Tour (April 30, 1997 – Wings Stadium, Kalamazoo, MI)**One of the most controversial and unforgettable tours of the ‘90s, **Marilyn Manson's Dead to the World Tour** was a spectacle of chaos, aggression, and mind-bending theatrics. Supporting *Antichrist Superstar*, this show was packed with intense visuals, haunting performances, and a setlist that included tracks like *Angel With the Scabbed Wings* and *Antichrist Superstar*. The lineup was stacked with **Rasputina, Pist.On, and Helmet**, making for an eclectic and powerful night of music.### **Death – The Sound of Perseverance Tour (November 21, 1998 – I-Rock Night Club/Harpo's, Detroit, MI)**Seeing **Chuck Schuldiner and Death live** was nothing short of witnessing history in the making. Touring in support of *The Sound of Perseverance*, Death's performance was an absolute masterclass in technical death metal. This show featured some of Chuck's most intricate and emotionally charged compositions, and the energy in the crowd was off the charts. Death's legacy as one of the most innovative and influential bands in metal was solidified that night.### **Ozzfest 1998 – Pine Knob Music Theatre, Clarkston, MI (July 23, 1998)**Ozzfest ‘98 was an **era-defining** festival, boasting a killer lineup that included **Ozzy Osbourne, Tool, System of a Down, Limp Bizkit, Megadeth, Incubus, and more**. It was a whirlwind of moshing, scorching heat, and the sound of thousands of fans losing their minds to some of the biggest bands in metal history. This festival set the standard for modern metal tours and provided one of the most intense festival experiences we've ever had.### **Walls of Jericho – The Crofoot Ballroom, Pontiac, MI (August 19, 2023)**Fast-forwarding to a more recent gig, **Walls of Jericho** performed alongside **Bleeding Through, Dead to Fall, Let It Die, Through the Eyes of the Dead, and Too Pure to Die** for an unforgettable night of **metalcore brutality**. The energy at The Crofoot Ballroom was **explosive**, and it was incredible to see Walls of Jericho still bringing the same level of aggression and intensity that made them legends in the scene.### **Korn, Ozzy Osbourne & Deftones – Wings Event Center, Kalamazoo, MI (February 7, 1996)**A true **genre-defining moment**, this tour combined **nu-metal pioneers Korn and Deftones** with the Prince of Darkness himself, **Ozzy Osbourne**. This show was **a collision of worlds**, blending Ozzy's legendary metal status with the rising wave of nu-metal chaos. The atmosphere was electric, with mosh pits erupting and an unforgettable performance that left a lasting impression on us.Final ThoughtsConcerts are more than just performances—they're **rituals, shared experiences, and moments of pure catharsis**. These five shows (and the honorable mentions) helped shape our love for heavy music, and we know many of you have had similar experiences.Hit us up in the comments and let us know—what concerts changed YOUR life forever?Stay heavy,Jay & NickFollow us- https://linktr.ee/metalmaniacsmiThe Metal Maniacs Podcast

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El audio de ayer con Jordi Llàtzer https://go.ivoox.com/sq/983860 Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Cosas mias Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

La UE está canina .... Cosas mias Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Si eres padre ... felicidades Cosas mias Mi email: ultra.foto@gmail.com Mi Newsletter https://neuralclip.substack.com/p/apple-en-crisis?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

A moda do pistáchio; censura na Eurovisão; Eurosong; justiça nos penaltis e na estrada.

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Ahora está de moda atizar a Apple... al final tenía razón. La Solución que me ha funcionado. https://bandaancha.eu/foros/chromecast-gen2-audio-no-conectan-1756061 El Orico dock https://amzn.to/3DHxqjR Cosas mias Si te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830 MI VPN NORDVPN…. Código descuento https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI Mi super ratón MX https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d Mi web www.discosduros.net Mi telefono https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv La comida de Pistón https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

Miksi työnantajamielikuvan merkitys tulee olemaan valtava? Bronxcastissa Rookien pääpukari Arttu Käyhkö vastaa kymmeneen olennaiseen kysymykseen työnantajabrändäykseen liittyen.Jakson aikana pureudutaan kuin purkka tukkaan seuraaviin kysymyksiin:

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El mandamal de google la ha liado con el chromecast. Manus IA https://manus.imMi Newsletter https://open.substack.com/pub/neuralclip/p/armas-inteligentes-fallos-criticos?r=1lp3ez&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=trueSuper precio de un SSD de 2TB a 110€ https://amzn.to/3XARiMcSi te unes a Lowi te dan 15€ a ti y a mi ⁠referir.lowi.es/carlosh-3830⁠MI VPN  NORDVPN…. Código descuento ⁠https://refer-nordvpn.com/MNCtSAmxRcI⁠Mi super ratón MX ⁠https://amzn.to/4ia8P6d⁠Mi web ⁠www.discosduros.net⁠Mi telefono ⁠https://amzn.to/3DiBiYv⁠La comida de Pistón ⁠https://amzn.to/3FbiNWv

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Join RaboResearch analysts Vítor Pistóia and Vito Martielli in a deep dive into the farming landscape of countries in the Danube River basin and their new role in global grain trade.    RaboResearch Disclaimer: Please refer to our Australian RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.com.au/knowledge/disclaimer, our New Zealand RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.co.nz/knowledge/disclaimer, and our Global RaboResearch disclaimer at https://research.rabobank.com/far/en/footer/disclaimer.html for information about the scope and limitations of the Australian, New Zealand, and Global RaboResearch material published on the podcast.

Cáel' as the new Amazon Teen IdolBy FinalStand. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels."I've missed you too," Aya bumped foreheads with me. I was 'a Son of the White Stallion' who 'ran with the herds of Epona'. I was so proud of her. She had woven together a Magyar myth with an Amazon naming convention. Epona, the Celtic Horse Goddess and Aya's matron divinity, was worshiped with the sacrifice of foals, Amazons offered up fillies (female baby horsies) whose spirits ran with the Goddess in the Spirit World.When the pre-Christian Magyars went to war, they sacrificed a white stallion to entreat their deities to grant them victory. No one was about to slit my throat, or cut my heart out. I was made sacred, a spirit stud in Epona's vast herd of mares. How freakishly accurate."I love you for your brains, you know that, don't you?" I whispered to Aya."Yes. You are saving up your other love for Mommy," she kinda/sorta teased me. Out of the semi-circle of children, three stood out. More accurately, they were dwarfed by their companions. I took the group's indecision as an offer to advance."Hi," I addressed the smallest three members of the audience. "Are you the Fatal Squirts?""They are not allowed that name," Sophia interceded. "No Amazon child deserves an acknowledgement before their trial." I half-turned and nodded her way."(Cough, cough). "Excuse me, please." If she spoke Phoenician, I was boned for being obviously disrespectful of her authority and would have to take whatever punishment Sophia felt I deserved.Otherwise, I was getting away with binding 'leads to death' to 'blood-death wound' in that ancient and highly extinct tongue: 'fatal, squirts' indeed. Her hand fell on my shoulder."I have heard you laugh at death," Sophia remarked. If I was on Zoosk, all you would have to do was type in 'Preference: Amazon Male Who Dares Talk Back', and there was my smiling mug, all alone, staring back at you."Before I confess to anything, do you consider that an asset, or liability," I grinned."I withhold judgment," was her reply."I don't mean to 'laugh at death'. It is because all the other choices suck and, perhaps I've been called stubborn, bull-headed and 'not having even a passing acquaintance with common sense' a time, or two," I shrugged with my lovely burden curled around my left arm."No names, our tradition and my command," Sophia laid down the law. Sigh. I put Aya down. She didn't cause me a hint of trouble because she knew my heart. I unbuckled and handed her my two guns (my Glock-22, and 38). I motioned one of the mini-Amazons forward. She shuffled up to Aya's side and received my two tomahawks.Not only was no one leaving, the rest of the camp started coming down to see what was about to transpire. In my short stint at Havenstone, I had developed a reputation as an exciting fun-guy/irrepressible troublemaker."I feel your decision is founded on misinformation, or your rendering to be unjust," I told Sophia."Explain," Sophia requested.I hadn't disarmed for my sake, or hers. I gave up my weapons to affirm my desire to talk. I placed myself at my sister's mercy, thus expressing my trust in her. Amazons are not savages, just violently inclined.Later, Pamela would remind me that my behavior was precisely what Isharans were supposed to do, seek peace."Aya has taken a position as intern with Executive Services at Havenstone," I explained. "She held my position and served effectively for four days with good work reviews from the head of the department herself," I added."She has served in a caste, been assigned duties by members of that caste, performed errands and accomplished all that was asked of her. Doesn't that create an allowance for Aya, as she has been considered for a caste?" I was fishing for an excuse based on my instincts for these people."She has never been selected, chosen and been anointed to a caste, so her preliminary experience does not qualify," Sophia said after a few seconds of introspection. "Next?""She has charged forth into battle on my behest." The archery range."You were not an acknowledged member of the Host when that happened. Next?""She's tried to kill me," I tossed out there."What?" many exclaimed."No!" Aya gasped."When did this occur?" Sophia's eyes twinkled."At the archery range. She shot at me twice," I responded."She was practicing," was the counter. "Next?""Not next," I smiled. "I didn't have permission from anyone to step beyond the shooting line.In doing so, I accepted all calls to combat. Both Leona and Aya shot at me. Aya shot twice and came close once. Leona only hit me after I gave myself up to protect three Amazon children."Pause."Okay. Aya has served in combat, no matter how one-sided, " Sophia began."I was armed for part of the fight," I interrupted hurriedly. Aya's first arrow."Accepted. You were a viable combatant before that as witnessed by other Amazons in earlier encounters. She and another Amazon shot at you without any other claiming traditional ownership of you," Sophia nodded. The Leader had given me a 'bye' on my intern status."Aya may bear an honorific," Sophia loudly proclaimed her change in course. To Amazons, screwing up was a distant third to not owning up to what you did and not learning from your mistakes. Besides, I could tell Sophia was warming up to me, as a male and an Amazon."My war band?" Aya chirped."You do not have a war band, Aya Epona, but whatever name you use among yourselves is not a matter I will concern myself with," Sophia stated firmly. "Fifty days, Cáel." That was the end of it. Sophia turned and began walking uphill, conflict successfully resolved.The Fatal Squirts had emerged with a semi-official status, I had emerged without a new series of wounds and I had wrangled forth a small down payment for all the love and loyalty Aya had showered on me."Best Daddy in the World!" Aya shouted. "Mamitu! Mamitu!" Destiny.Amazons weren't huge believers in luck. They put their faith in training, planning, experience and diligence. For them, victory was a matter of destiny. Let the sloppy, treacherous Greeks invoke 'Nike', Victory, or 'Tyche', Luck for tossing them a positive outcome in battle. My side weren't thankful for the win they deserved.They acknowledged Mamitu had, through foresight, prepared the Host for what had to be done. For Aya, it was destiny that had put me in her path; she and her sisters trained for the hostage scenario multiple times, so she was a logical choice for my training. She had been training with the bow when I was giving her the inner strength and confidence to hit the target.Training, not mutual good fortune, put her at the range to make that shot. Whatever part luck played, that bolt that had saved my life and paved the way for Aya's rise to leadership had been a part of her training as well. Amazons didn't deny luck, nor did the put any trust in it."Hi, so who are the rest of you?" I addressed the Fatal Squirts while rearming."I am Mosa Oya," the tomahawk holder identified herself."I am, " the third member got out before we were propelled back into that 'never too distant' No-Man's Land. A girl, a stranger in her early teens, came up and shoved Aya hard."You are nothing special," the older girl growled at my buddy. My 'daughter' barely avoided sprawling in the dust.The intensity was palatable. Aya had no chance of beating this girl. Not only did her opponent have every physical advantage, she had three buddies as well, correction: two buddies and a twin sister. Amazons built lifetime bonds around these foursomes. Aya and company backed down, despite her obvious shame. She had just won an honorific as a child, unheard of before this. It was Amazon tactical thinking, not fear, that ruled Aya's mind. I was so proud of her."What's your name?" I inquired congenially of the newcomer. She flashed me a look of anger laced with teenage hormones, then turned and stormed away, actually, she only started to storm away. Her behavior had played right into my hands. I was an adult. She wasn't a full-fledged member of the Host, nor was she a child anymore. I had asked her a question and she had been disrespectful to me. Her bad. Still, I doubted anyone expected my leg sweep.The bully hit the ground hard, no rolling with the blow for her. My foot smashing down on her diaphragm drove the fight right out of her. I wasn't done. The twin rushed in, my thunderbolt left sent her flying back from whence she came. Amazons despise child abuse as cruel and socially cancerous, yet no one else was rushing in to stop me.Even her other two friends were obeying both basic Amazon battle philosophy and conduct. Two young teens versus me was stupid, and I wasn't alone. I had four Squirts plus two other women close by who saw nothing wrong with a cooperative pummeling. I lifted my foot a centimeter from the girl's chest."Let's try this again," I spoke softly. "I am Cáel Ishara. You have disparaged my house by putting your back to me after I, an adult, politely addressed you. In fifteen seconds your sin will pass beyond your ability to address and your actions will be viewed as your family's unwarranted insult. My sisters will seek vengeance against your sisters with the added advantage that your sisters won't know what's going on. Now, what's your name?"See, I could have gone straight to Step Two, the House on House vengeance. Me kicking her ass was merciful because after five, or six members of her house were jumped, one at a time by three, or four, of mine, those ladies were going to be truly curious why their youngster had been so fucking rude in front of so many fucking Amazons to the HEAD of a fucking First House.'Honorific' Aya still had no status except that of a child. Dumb Bunny was passed her 12th year test, so she was of her House, thus the insult. Despite my 'fantasy' assumption of the role of grunt, everyone knew that Cáel Cabbage-head was Cáel Ishara, Head of House Ishara. I was the only accepted male Amazon in existence, the only possessor of a 'five o'clock shadow' in camp, I was armed and I was so armed while walking among their children.She could not have possibly mistaken me for another. Her eyes showed that truism too. Her wrathful 'how dare that male!' morphed into 'oh fuck, my older sisters are going to be tossed down stairwells, jacked up in parking garages and they were going to be caught totally flat-footed when it happens, and it is all my (the girl's) fault'.In theory, Saint Marie could deny my feud (we were at war), or warn the girl's house of my request, but why would she? The crime couldn't have been more obvious and the Amazons were way past making harmful shit up about me."Zarana, Zarana of House Inara," she gasped.I switched foot placement, pivoted, reached down to arm-clasp my left with her left and ended with me pulling her effortlessly to a standing position."A pleasure to meet you Zarana Inara. I am Cáel Ishara, but you may call me Cáel if you wish," I gave her my award winning smile. "No one will ever doubt your courage in my presence," I added.'Lead with the left jab, then catch them with the right hook'. As true in interpersonal relationships as in boxing. I had beaten her handily seconds ago and now I was applauding her bravery. Again, I wasn't a Head of House calling attention to her virtue, but I was."Your sister shares your warrior's heart.""I, I, I don't know what came over me, " she started to give me a respectful head-nod. I hooked a finger under her chin to stop her."Are you going to reconsider your approach for dealing with a male Amazon, Zarana of Inara?" I bridged the awkward moment. Bing! I had turned a humiliation into a learning moment."Yes," she smiled at me. "Yes Cáel Ish, Cáel.""I swear by the All-Mighty, if I find this one crawling into your sleeping bag, I'm going to be very disappointed in you," Delilah ambushed me. Wa-ha?"Oh, come on!" I protested. "She's thirteen.""Fourteen," the other twin, bleeding lip and all, puffed herself up."Not helping, " I looked at the twin."Vaski," she supplied. What?"Vaski? Really? That was Grandmother's name, it is Magyar-Finnish," I wondered."We are almost related," she conjured the improbable out of the impossible."No you are not, young lady," Delilah serpentined her way to the front of the crowd. "You are not family now and you can't attempt to be for four more years.""Who would you be?" Zarana challenged Delilah. Man, those two kids were spunky."An honored guest," Priya provided. "I hope another lesson in manners will not be necessary.""I'll do my best," I volunteered. Priya had been addressing the twins; not me. Taking the hit was a bit of comedy to diffuse the moment."Some of you need to eat," a camp counselor stated. Another crisis down and the sky wasn't even dark yet."Cáel!" and here we went again. Thank you, Ishara, it was Europa, the strange one, meaning the one I understood the most.(Night and Day)This place kept getting more and more wonderful. There was one safe road that rolled out of the camp's front gate (there was no wall, the gate was ceremonial) and disappeared off toward the closest state road. Scheduled trips were made to the closest blip on the census data where they bought stuff (irrelevant) and were 'seen' by the locals (the important thing).If anyone investigated, there was a legitimate summer camp 'out there'. The counselors weren't friendly, but they worked with 'troubled' kids, so keeping the small talk to a minimum was excusable. Sure, they only saw women, usually the same ones each trip during a given summer. The camp held nearly a thousand people, so the all-female thing was dismissed as a quirk.That was the second layer of deception. We had already learned that the first layer was the idea of a camp for girls in the foster care system. The third layer was all the visible 'props'. This went beyond the typical craft centers, juvenile obstacle courses, and a dozen other distractions. (The only 'real' one was the stables. Amazons loved riding horses and being assigned to tend to their care was a high honor.)Thirty meters inside the gate was a bridged gulch. After dark, the bridge supports were removed turning a clear shot into the center of camp into a waiting death trap. If there was any doubt, the gulch, so comforting and protective, was a blast zone as well, designation: The Barbecue Pit. I couldn't find it, but I was sure there was an altar somewhere to the matron goddess for this summer camp, the Goddess Paranoia.The sleeping quarters for everyone? More props. Campers would go in, mill around for ten minutes, then curl up on their bed, the ones that warmed up to 98 degrees in the shape of human bodies. Then the campers went down the shafts beneath their bunks and dutifully shuffled along the one meter high underground tunnels to their mesa-based domiciles. Again, once in the cliff-side barracks, they had two chimneys, a tunnel back to the dorm building and a cleverly designed, nearly invisible front exit to choose from.Pamela took it in stride, Delilah was a bit peeved by the 'excessive' security. Virginia, we'd already dragged her through her dorm tunnel to her cave to sleep it off. For me, the tunnel's dimensions made it a tight fit. Amazons can be pretty strong, but they don't have shoulders as wide as mine, nor are they normally over a meter/eight (six feet for us Yankees).I would have complained, except I had a sneaking suspicion that Pamela had a trowel to give me so I could 'widen up' a twenty to forty meter stretch of tunnel the moment I opened my mouth. As the last portion of the instructional tour, we were directed to get our grub before it was gone because the sadistic chefs loved to watch the eight year old workhouse orphans fight over who got to lick the pot instead of starving.Not really. The victuals were actually very good. I had hopes of more bonding time with my Epona ladies, yet no sooner had I cleaned my tin plate and dinnerware, I found someone else who craved my attention, Sophia. She was hot for my touch and by that I meant she wanted to punch and kick me around for a bit, all in the name of fun."Since you are my guest, I will let you choose our weapons," Sophia decided."I choose hyperbole," I gracefully flowed from sitting with one leg down and the other bent to standing."Specify.""Caber tossing with real Sequoia. I'll wait for the ladies of Girl Scout Troop 666 to go get some, they have to be authentic; no substitutes accepted," I explained."That's not hyperbole," Sophia snorted. "Hyperbole would be, 'I want to use the biggest spears ever used by Amazons, or Goddesses'.""My hyperbole wasn't the caber tossing, it was us 'waiting' for a set of circumstances we both knew wouldn't happen," I countered. Sophia nodded.

Join RaboResearch analysts Vítor Pistóia and Paul Joules as they discuss the key topics for grains, oilseeds, and farm inputs at the start of the year.   RaboResearch Disclaimer: Please refer to our Australian RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.com.au/knowledge/disclaimer, our New Zealand RaboResearch disclaimer at https://www.rabobank.co.nz/knowledge/disclaimer, and our Global RaboResearch disclaimer at https://research.rabobank.com/far/en/footer/disclaimer.html for information about the scope and limitations of the Australian, New Zealand, and Global RaboResearch material published on the podcast.

Fellatio Rites for the Ghost of John WesleyA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna took a deep breath as she approached Oakwood Road Methodist Church."Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Reverend Morris asked.She patted his shoulder. "I'll be fine Simon. You don't need to worry. It's the ghost of John Wesley, not Jack the Ripper. This is exciting! I hope he'll appear!""Right, well, I'll be sat in the car then. I hope you won't be too long. Remember, just turn and run the moment you feel in any way uncomfortable.""Reverend Morris, I think you're scared!""No I'm not! I can't help being concerned for the safety of the woman I love can I? Aren't you a tiny bit nervous?""I'm as cool as spring water," Jenna replied. "I was reading all about John Wesley last night. He was a true gentleman. I'm sure this won't take long."Reverend Morris nodded as he watched his wife enter the church. "Well if anyone can fix this, Jenna can. I don't know what she said to the Archbishop of Canterbury last week, but he changed his mind about the wall plaque faster than the Government does U-turns. I wonder what she said to him? Whatever it was, Justin Welby was impressed!"He reclined in his car seat. "I was so lucky to meet Jenna. Of course, it was God who delivered her to me. That fateful Sunday morning in the vestry, oh."Father Aiden was walking along the street. Many things were on his mind. He had some important decisions to make about his future in the priesthood. Briefly glancing up from his smartphone, his heart jumped as he spotted Jenna entering the Methodist church across the road."Holy Mother, " he muttered. A rush of excitement swept over him as he recalled the intimate encounter he'd enjoyed a few weeks ago. It was that which had spurred him to think about his future. He quickly crossed the road."Hello Father!"The priest almost dropped his phone. Someone was shouting at him from a parked car."Oh, Reverend Morris. Hello there." Damn, no chance of a repeat encounter, he thought. "I've just seen your wife going into the Methodist church.""Yes, I hope she won't be long. I'm just waiting for her.""Are you alright? You look a bit anxious, if you don't mind me saying.""It's a long story, Father. I think you'd better sit down in the passenger seat and I'll tell you. You've not heard about what's been going on in Oakwood Road church have you?"The priest looked confused. "Nope. Tell me more!" He opened the car door and sat down. I could do to unburden myself too.""Okay, well, this might sound a bit weird.""I can handle anything weird," Father Aiden replied."It's about ghosts. As a Catholic, what are your thoughts on them and have you ever seen one?"Father Aiden thought about his answer very carefully. "Hmm. In theory, billions of ghosts potentially exist because billions of human beings have "lost" their bodies through death. Strictly speaking, these disembodied souls are not ghosts because they have never become discernible to any living people. Only those few souls whose presence is seen or felt by others are truly ghosts. And their existence is real.""So you've seen one?""Yes. Two actually. Once in Ireland when I was a child and another when I was based in Liverpool. I was called upon to rid a family's home of a troubled spirit."Reverend Morris looked relieved. "That's good to know.""The Old Testament also has a few ghost stories. The most famous one is in 1 Samuel 28:8--20. Here the inspired writer tells how King Saul met with the ghost of the prophet Samuel." Father Aiden replied. "Have you seen a ghost?""Yes. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of John Wesley! He's haunting the Methodist church. That's why I'm here. Jenna's gone in there to try and help him return to, the other side.""Oh I see, then she must, wait, what?" Father Aiden did a double take."Thanks for coming' along Mrs. Morris," Reverend Ewing said, shaking Jenna's hand. "I know you probably think this whole thing is crazy.""Not at all! And call me Jenna. I'm a true believer. If my husband says that you and he saw John Wesley, then I know it's true. But why does John want to see me of all people?""Your hubby mentioned that your grandma is a Methodist?""Uh yeah. Bit of a tenuous link. Like Sir Henry Barrington-Smythe's horse.""Huh?""Oh, never mind. Figure of speech.""You Brits and your little quirks!" Reverend Ewing laughed. "I'm still getting used to 'em!""You said John usually appears in the vestry?""Uh-huh. Can be anywhere in the church, but he seems to like the vestry best.""Right, well go and wait in there and say a few prayers, and see if he appears. I'm not sure I can do anything, but I'll try my best."Jenna entered the vestry. Everything looked perfectly normal in there. She closed the door and looked around."It always comes back to the vestry," she smiled to herself as she recalled when she first got to know Reverend Morris.Suddenly, the row of gowns on the rail began to swing on their hangers. The temperature dropped, and Jenna rubbed her arms."Are you there, John?" She called out."Yes."She spun round. There was no sign of the spirit. "Hey, come on, show yourself at least. It's no fun talking to the invisible man.""My sincere apologies," John replied, and slowly faded into view. For the first time, Jenna was taken aback. "My God, you really are John Wesley, "He nodded and bowed. "Bless ye, for am so honored you hath come here. If I may be so bold to say, you be a lady of great beauty my dear.""Very kind of you to say, Mr. Wesley." Jenna said. "Why are you back in the land of the living? Aren't you happy in Heaven?""Ah yes," he began. "Happier than mortals can ever imagine. But you see, I feel compelled to return to this realm every All Hallow's Eve. I like to re-visit the places where I worshipped back when I was alive. And it was in this very place where this church now stands that I preached to crowds back in the autumn of 1778.""You've got a lot of places to visit in just one night," Jenna said. "I read all about you. You travelled all over England spreading the Word of the Lord. Plus you went to America, the colonies, when you were younger.""Indeed I did, yes. To my regret, I lingered a little too long here, for I found myself unable to return to the afterlife. The sun had started to rise, heralding All Saint's Day. Thus, I am trapped here in this church until next All Hallow's Eve. Only a tremendous release of positive energy could allow me to return before then.""Oh dear. May I ask why out of all the people in the world, you wanted to see me? What can I do? My gran is a Methodist. Is that the reason?""No Miss Jenna. It was your aura that attracted me. It's very strong. I believe God himself must've embodied you with some sort of innate goodness that allows you to help people.""You're making me sound like some kind of saint! I assure you I'm just a regular human being. I'm not particularly gifted in anything, although I do try to be a good person, "John had a rather dreamy expression on his face. "You remind me so much of Grace Murray, a lady I loved and lost, only you be far prettier than her."It was then that Jenna had an idea. A huge grin spread across her face. She'd read all about John Wesley's life and how unlucky he'd been in love. "A tremendous release of positive energy, you say? I think I know something which may cause that!"John put his hands together. "You do? Pray, do tell, my dear.""You need to experience an orgasm. What could be more positive than that?"He blinked. "I beg your pardon?""Oh you know, " She tried to think of a period-appropriate phrase so he'd understand. "The end act of carnal relations?"He blushed. "Oh. Miss Jenna I be a man of God. I don't see how, "Jenna sank to her knees. "Only one way to find out, John!" She paused. So he's a ghost. I've never pleasured a ghost before. Isn't he composed of just gas? He's quite cute, for someone who died in 1791! I wonder if,She reached out to touch him, and expected her hand to pass right through his body, but it didn't. He jolted at her touch."Don't worry John. I've done this before, many times in fact. It's a great honor to be able to do it to you. I'm sure this will help you."The moment of first contact had arrived. Jenna let one hand gently glide ever so slightly over John's thigh, encased in tight black breeches. Reaching out with the other hand, she ran it over his crotch, feeling an impressive bulge."Oh my! I feel strangely warmed yet again!" John sighed.Jenna fumbled with the buttons on his breeches, being more used to zippers. Something large and splendid lurked within. Either that or he had a Bible stuffed down there. "My God!" she gasped, as the Methodist's member was revealed. The short, slightly-built John Wesley was hung like a horse!"How on earth were you so unlucky in love?" Jenna exclaimed."Mostly the ladies deserted me long before I even reached the bedchamber," he mumbled."Well I'm not deserting you." She wrapped her lips around his cock head and swirled her tongue for a bit before plunging all the way down his shaft. He emitted a deep and low groan.Jenna slowly bobbed her head along his shaft over and over, with her hands grabbing his thighs for support. He moaned in pleasure with each and every stroke of her soft and warm mouth."Oh dear God," he whimpered. "Your mouth. It feels amazing."It was clear that poor John Wesley had never experienced a blowjob before, not in life, nor the afterlife, and Jenna instantly felt very generous to be giving him this incredible gift. His breathing was erratic, and she sensed that he had already reached a point of near-climax, and was doing everything he could to fight it off.Jenna's expert mouth slowly bobbed up and down his shaft. She then paused at the bottom and held his huge shaft completely inside her mouth, all the way to the back of her throat. She reached through his legs, grabbed his arse, and pulled him toward her in an attempt to get him even deeper into her throat."Uh!" he moaned. "I'm not going to last much longer. I fear I shall spend!"Outside the vestry, Reverend Ewing paced back and forth, wondering what the strange groaning noises were all about."The hell is going' on in there?" She said out loud.Jenna slowly slid her mouth back over his shaft and removed him from her mouth. She wore the naughtiest smile, and John could tell she was thoroughly enjoying this as much as he was. She took his cock into her mouth once more and slid her tongue back and forth along the underside of his shaft. He responded with another moan, louder and more urgent than before. She removed him once again from her mouth and looked toward him with a smile. the faint silver light surrounding John was more radiant than before."Are you ready to spend?" She asked, looking up at him from her knees. John was so overwhelmed, he couldn't speak. He simply nodded his head and grunted."Then I want you to come for me," she said. With that, she slid his wet cock back into her mouth. Once again she reached through his legs to grab his arse and pull him toward her, and she began to furiously fuck him with her mouth. He placed his hands on the back of her head and thrust himself into her mouth, over and over, filling the vestry with the wet sound of fellation.Jenna began moaning, and her muffled moans seemed to push John over the edge. With her mouth still filled with his cock, he stopped his thrusting and gave a loud groan. His body tensed and shook, and Jenna did everything she could to swallow his massive load, but it was too much. Some of his thick cum leaked from the corner of her mouth and splashed down the front of her pink top."Ah!" John sighed, his eyes closed in ecstasy. Thoroughly satisfied, he cried out in joy. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"Pleased to have completely drained him, she removed his cock from her mouth. His cum was delicious. Ghost cum tasted just as good as that from a living man.All at once, a pillar of light surrounded John."Ah! I'm free once more! You've freed me Jenna! I can't thank you enough! I can return and be at peace!" He began to rise up into the air. "I hope we shall meet again sometime! Farewell and God bless!"Jenna stood up and wiped her lips. "Godspeed, John! Oh! Just one more thing, next time you visit, can you bring your brother Charles along?"Reverend Ewing was about to knock on the vestry door, when it suddenly opened."Oh! Is everything alright?""Everything's fine. You can reopen your church. John's spirit is at peace once more.""For sure? He's really gone? But how?""I just said a prayer for him. Told him how much his teaching continues to inspire people to this day. That seemed to satisfy him and he just faded away.""Well thank you so much, Jenna," the reverend said, shaking her hand. "I'm so glad it's all over. It was really stressing me out! and I'm so happy that John is at peace in the Lord's kingdom again. Oh, what's that on your clothing?"Jenna looked down and was mortified at the huge globs of cum. "Oh dear. It's, candle wax. I didn't realize it had spilled. I must get going now, Reverend Ewing. Simon is waiting in the car and he'll be getting worried.""Of course. Thank you again, and give my regards to Simon!"When she'd gone, Reverend Ewing looked round the vestry. "Hmm, strange. There are no candles in here."The lecherous church warden meets his match.After peace was restored to Oakwood Road Methodist Church, and the spirit of John Wesley successfully liberated, Jenna and Reverend Morris turned their attentions to this weekend's Remembrance Sunday service. This was always a major event, and the people would be crammed into St. Michael's like sardines."I've finally completed this special sermon," Reverend Morris said, handing Jenna his iPad. "Have a read and tell me what you think. I included your suggestions about the importance of teaching the younger generation about those who died in wars. Also the bit about Winston Churchill being a flawed figure. Good suggestion, that. As human beings we are all flawed in some way.""It looks fantastic. Let me grab a coffee and settle down to enjoy this!""I hope it won't come across as too boring. You know I always get paranoid about my sermons. So many churchgoers dread a long sermon!""Your sermons are always fun and relevant, Simon, You're too hard on yourself."The mild-mannered vicar smiled. "Aww, thanks! Oh and I hope Norman Winstanley behaves himself this weekend. I had to have a quiet word with him during the Wednesday morning service.""The new churchwarden? What's he done wrong?""Well, as you know, he took over from dear old Albert who died last month. He'd previously been at St. John's, but sadly, that church has closed for good and is being demolished. Such a shame. It was a great church back in the day.""Very sad when a church dies. What are they building in its place?" Jenna asked."An Aldi supermarket. Anyways, about Norman. He's sixty-five and a terrible lecher, to put it plainly. Some say he's Sid James and Benny Hill cranked up to eleven. He didn't get nicknamed Carry On Norm for nothing."Jenna was immediately intrigued. How come I've never noticed this guy before? She thought. "Ooh. So he likes to ogle young women does he?""Yes, but not just young! I've seen him staring at the legs of older women too. Last Sunday, I caught him perving at Mrs. Wilcox when she was doing the flower arranging. And she's about eighty! Though I admit, she does have nice legs, for someone er, so mature.""Naughty boy. At least he's not ageist." Jenna said. "He needs to get on OnlyFans."Reverend Morris couldn't help but laugh. "You always try to see the best in everyone! Well just looking is one thing, but Norman has built up a bit of a reputation for being a qualified pincher of bottoms. I won't tolerate that sort of behavior. It's completely unacceptable. I'm surprised he's avoided getting into more trouble, to be honest.""Is he married?""No, widowed. Took early retirement too. Has far too much time on his hands. And we all know that the Devil makes work for idle hands, ""So true," Jenna nodded. "He makes bottoms for idle hands to pinch. "I don't think I've seen Norman. What does he look like?""Well he wears glasses and he's the spitting image of Frank Carson."Jenna blinked. "Who?""Heh, I keep forgetting the age gap between us. Frank was a Northern Irish comedian. He's dead now. My dad was and still is a massive fan of him. He used to go and see him on stage at Blackpool in the 1990s." Reverend Morris looked up a picture of the comedian on his phone and showed it to her."Ok. I'll keep an eye out for Norman this Sunday!""If he tries anything with you, tell me at once!""Oh don't worry. He wouldn't dare," Jenna replied, smirking to herself, an idea already forming in her mind. Naughty Norman. I can't have a churchwarden with wandering hands threatening Simon's church. I'd better get my hands on him before he causes any more trouble!As expected, the Sunday service was very well-attended. Jenna had arrived early, as she wanted to sit in a specific place right in the front pew. She chose to sit on the left side, in front of the organ. She'd chosen this spot because it was semi-hidden, due to a convenient pillar. More importantly, Norman the churchwarden would soon be standing here, just a few feet away, ready to direct people when it was time to take communion. For Remembrance Sunday, Jenna had chosen a smart, but conservative black dress and a silk scarf featuring a poppy pattern. She was wearing two paper poppy badges, and one of them was in a very intimate place."I hope this isn't disrespectful to the war dead," she thought to herself as she crossed her legs. "But it's necessary. This is for the good of the church's reputation. Very helpful that these self-adhesive poppy badges exist now. I just hope it doesn't drop off, "Before long, Norman Winstanley appeared and Jenna recognized him at once. Her husband's Frank Carson description had been spot on. The guy looked just like him. A full head of white hair, glasses and bushy eyebrows. A stocky build, with a beer gut. Norman looked very smart. He was wearing a dark grey suit with white shirt and maroon tie. He had big hairy hands. Jenna wondered if other parts of his body were hairy."Ah, that's him. Mr. Wandering Hands Winstanley," she said to herself. She should've been repulsed by this randy old boomer, like most women her age would be, but as usual, she found herself lusting after him and getting wet."I wonder if he wears y-fronts like Gordon? He looks the type." Of all the different types of underwear she'd seen men of this church wearing, y-fronts and boxer shorts were her favorite.Norman stood in his usual place, ready to direct the lost sheep, as he termed the congregation, to the pews, and then out again, when called for communion. St. Michael's had an efficient system whereby the congregation, one pew at a time, went up for communion, walked in a circle round the church and back to their seat. This system had been introduced during the pandemic, but had proved so successful, it had been kept on.Suddenly, the strains of the organ interrupted the quietness of the church, as Gordon began playing the opening hymn, O God Our Help in Ages Past.Everyone dutifully stood up, and it was then that Jenna caught Norman's eye. She noticed him staring and winked at him. He winked back at her. Immediately, she knew she had his full, undivided attention.Who's that tasty little filly? Norman thought. I haven't seen her before. Mind you, I've only been helping out here a week. Not many young lasses in this church. She's a pretty one. Mmm, I'd like to goose her!Look at him, undressing me with his eyes, Jenna smirked. Oh he's horny all right. I think he needs a lot more than a butt cheek to pinch. I bet his balls are as blue as a Smurf's arse.The hymn finished, and everyone sat down, as Reverend Morris began the usual start of the morning Eucharist."A very blessed welcome to all who have joined us today, for this, our special Remembrance Sunday service. We are gathered here today to reflect on those who gave their lives in the service of this country. At the same time, we reflect on those who are currently enduring the horrors of war. The people of Ukraine, Syria and Afghanistan. Let us pray, "Jenna bowed her head. At the same time, she crossed her legs and slid her dress up, exposing some creamy white thigh. Norman's eyes almost popped out of his head. She was sure she heard him utter a noise, rather like the whinny of a horse. At the same time, Gordon peered over the top of the organ, waiting for his cue to start playing the Gloria in Excelsis. His elevated position afforded him a perfect view of Jenna, when he spotted her sitting right at the front. He assumed she'd chosen to sit there for his benefit."Venus herself," he muttered, gazing at her flawless legs and remembering the last time they'd been wrapped round his body at the vicarage social. He felt his cock starting to throb. "God she makes me feel glad that I was born a man!"A cough brought him to his senses. Josh the curate was desperately trying to attract his attention as discreetly as possible."Oh, sorry!" Gordon whispered, fumbling with his music sheets. He started playing the Gloria.Jenna was getting excited just thinking about flashing her white panties. Her nipples were already erect and hard and she could feel that familiar warm, moist sensation between her legs. Slowly, she slid her dress up higher and uncrossed her legs, doing so in such a way that it was impossible to avoid a panty flash. She looked at Norman and raised an eyebrow. He let out an audible gasp and his face flushed a shade of red that looked as if his blood pressure had reached stroke-inducing levels. Fumbling in his pocket, he grabbed a handkerchief and wiped his face. Jenna noticed how his forehead and upper lip were glistening with sweat.No-Nut November might be a thing, but not in my world, Jenna thought. At this rate, poor Norman will have collapsed before I even get to unzip him. He was looking at her again and she noticed his bulge in his trousers that he tried covering with crossed hands. Communion was rapidly approaching, and in the middle of the offertory hymn, Norman suddenly rushed off to the gents. When he returned a few minutes later, Jenna noticed his flies were unzipped. She wondered whether he'd done this deliberately or forgotten to zip up after having a pee or a wank."So you want to play do you?" Jenna whispered and winked at him.Norman was holding an order of service booklet, and deliberately dropped it. As he squatted down to pick it up, the gap in his unzipped trousers widened, allowing Jenna a glimpse of his underwear. She was thrilled to have a peek at his pale blue y-fronts and the bulge contained within."Very nice!" She mouthed to him and blew a discreet kiss.It was time to take communion, and being sat at the front, Jenna had to go first. Calmly, she rose from the pew and walked past the organ. As she did, the poppy pinned to her dress fell out."Oh dear, she said, and bent down to pick it up. As she did, she ensured her dress rose up, revealing a flash of her panties. However it was Gordon who got the full eyeful. He leant over for a better look, and clumsily knocked a load of music books off the shelf at the side of the organ."Damn and blast it," he muttered, scrambling to pick them up.Jenna took communion and walked round the church and down the side aisle. As she approached her pew, Norman "helpfully" held out his hand to direct her, and she took the opportunity to squeeze past him. As she did, she felt a hand cup her right buttock and give a little pinch."You're a dirty old man, Mr. Winstanley," she said. "Luckily for you, I happen to be a dirty young woman." Quick as a whip, she slid her hand to his crotch and groped his bulge through his unzipped trousers."Ah, oh!" Norman jolted in surprise. Jenna sat down and smiled at him."I want to see more. Do you?"His nostrils flared, and he quickly backed off, squirming with arousal and bewilderment. Jenna wondered if she'd scared him off, but as the organ music resumed and communion ended, she saw him grab the order of service booklet again and hold it sideways against his crotch. Wondering where this would lead, she was ready to play. It was much more fun than her doing all the flashing. She raised her leg and slid a finger across her panties, pulling the material to the side, giving him a peek at her pubic hair.Norman felt like he was going to cum in his underpants, if this continued. His face was red and his breathing was shallow. He wondered just how much longer he could hold on, but hold on he did. This cheeky little filly was unlike any other woman he'd ever encountered. A wiser, less lecherous man would've backed off long ago, in this age of Me Too, mindful that he could be being led into a trap. But Norman was a shameless, seasoned groper and letch, and he wasn't going to back down now. Using the booklet to shield his crotch from other members of the congregation, a swift movement of his left hand freed his cock, and the top of it poked out from his blue underpants.Not looking down at himself, not acknowledging that his erect dick was visible, the churchwarden acted as if everything was normal. Jenna couldn't stop staring at his cock. It was more ram rod than sham rod. She licked her lips and made a gesture to him with a clenched fist moving up and down.What a delicious-looking cock he has! She was practically drooling like a dog in heat, in the same way he was drooling at the sight of her pubic bush. And speaking of which, she hiked up her dress and revealed the front of her panties. Attached to them was another paper poppy.Norman's jaw dropped.At the same time, Gordon craned his neck to peer over the top of the organ again and got a grandstand view of Jenna's poppy."Holy shit!" He spluttered. He quickly sat down on the stool, but not before knocking his books over a second time.Further along the front pew, sat four old ladies all in their nineties, notorious gossips of the church."I say Margaret, I think the organist is drunk. He's not quite himself. He was dreadfully out of time when he played the Gloria!""Well really. It's disgraceful. On Remembrance Sunday of all days. Oh my good gracious, Mavis! Look at that! The churchwarden's flies are undone!"Immediately, the four of them leant forward in unison to get a better look."Heaven's above, you can see his, concern! How shocking! Somebody should tell him!""Maud, it's times like this that I really envy the youth. They have those fancy telephones that take instant photos.""The last time I saw a man in such a state was in 1943, and I'd just turned eighteen. Those American G I blokes, such good times!"Jenna couldn't wait any longer. The service wouldn't end for another ten minutes. Removing the poppy from her panties, she adjusted her dress and rose from the pew. "Join me in the gents," she whispered, and pressed the poppy into Norman's hand. "Lest we forget!"Norman just nodded, stunned. He glanced down at the poppy. My God, what a precious object. He would treasure it forever. Carefully placing it in his shirt pocket, he zipped up his trousers and discreetly made his way to the toilets at the front of the church.The gents toilets were empty, and Jenna made her way past the row of urinals and into the end cubicle. Moments later, she heard the door open and Norman entered. He nervously glanced round."Pist, in here!" Jenna said, ushering him inside. She locked the cubicle door and closed the toilet lid."Who are you?" Norman spluttered. "You're a cunning little vixen! I want to take handfuls of you, you're amazing! You've got me well and truly foxed!""My name is Jenna," she replied. "And you're Norman, yes? Our new churchwarden?"He nodded."If you don't mind," she said looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, "I'd love to suck that hard cock of yours."Norman looked like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once. "Oh Jenna, I'd love for you to suck me," he sighed. "I'd love to cum in your mouth. I'd love to watch you swallow all of my thick cum!"Jenna sat down on the toilet and unzipped his trousers, then unbuckled his belt. Wanting full, unobstructed access to the churchwarden's member, she pulled his trousers and y-fronts down to his ankles. Norman said nothing, he simply stood there, watching her work her magic. He never once wondered why such a young and attractive woman would want to suck his cock so willingly. It had been years, decades even, since a woman had wanted to pleasure him! He was actually getting a blowjob from a stunning redhead, for free!""What a lovely cock you've got, Norman. I could see how big it was when you gave me that cheeky little glimpse of it in the church service earlier!" She wasn't lying. He did indeed have a nice plump shaft, with big balls, and wiry white pubes."Some men are like fine wine, they get better with age!"Without hesitation, she impaled her mouth on his shaft. Taking him deep while stroking him, licking him, and sucking him. Norman put his hand on the back of Jenna's head.Jenna cupped his balls, feeling them throb and pulsate, she knew precisely when he was about to cum. At the same time, she ran her other hand up under his shirt, feeling his hairy paunch."That tickles!" Norman murmured, sighing and groaning.Back in the church, the service had nearly ended, much to Gordon's relief. He really needed a pee. Thanks to Jenna, he needed a wank too, but there wasn't time. Whilst the vicar was reading out a lot of notices, he had just enough time to pop to the gents, relieve himself and head back to the organ to play the recessional hymn."Mmm," Jenna murmured, her mouth full of cock. Suddenly, Norman heard someone else enter the toilets."Jenna, someone's come in!" He whispered."Mmm," was all she could reply, and continued sucking him.Gordon hurried to a urinal and unzipped his trousers. As he began to pee, a loud groan came from the end cubicle. He ignored it and continued relieving himself. The mystery bloke in the cubicle made several loud grunts. Gordon glanced round. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "That poor sod's got a bad case of constipation."He finished, zipped up, washed his hands and hurried out of the toilets, wondering who the unfortunate man was."Oh, Oh fuck!" Norman groaned, as his climax neared. "Jenna! I'm going to give you a lovely, big creamy surprise!""Give it to me, Norman!" She felt his cock quiver and his balls tightened in her hand and she got her first taste of his cum. Jet after jet of his thick seed squirted from his cock into Jenna's eager mouth. He took out his cock to allow her to swallow his load and, as she was doing so, he stroked it and managed to squirt a few more sticky blasts all over her face."Ah," Norman panted. "That was wonderful Jenna, I enjoyed that more than anything. I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me! Did you like all my cum in that sweet mouth of yours?""Oh I loved that! Your cum tastes so good, Norman!" Jenna lowered her head and planted a kiss on his cock and then on his sweaty, hairy balls. Doing a dreadful attempt at a Northern Irish accent, she added, "It's the way you tell 'em!""Eh?" Norman said."My poor attempt at a Frank Carson impression," she replied. "My husband said you resemble him.""You, you're married?""Yes," Jenna said, standing up. "I'm the vicar's wife."A look of horror appeared on Norman's face. "Oh my God, ""Don't look so worried, Norman." She put her finger to his lips. "Our little secret, yes? Of course, you need to behave yourself from now on. A little birdy told me that you are quite liberal with those wandering hands of yours. No more bum pinching and goosing of any other ladies whilst you're in St. Michael's, is that understood?"He nodded, panic in his eyes."Say it out loud, in God's name. Because God knows everything.""In the name of God, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself," Norman said."That's my Norm," she replied, planting a kiss on his lips. "We'd better get out of here. Other chaps will be coming in. You go first.""R-right. Okay." Norman zipped up his trousers, fastened his belt, composed himself and hurried out of the cubicle. He opened the door and glanced round."There's no-one here. Quick, you dash into the ladies."Jenna ran past him. As she did, she pinched his arse. "Until next time then," she giggled.Norman breathed a sigh of relief and opened the main door that led back into the church. The service had ended and people were starting to file out of the pews. Norman wiped his forehead. His mind was spinning. Not looking where he was going, he almost walked into Gordon, who'd seen him leaving the toilets."Sorry," he muttered."No worries," Gordon replied. "Listen, there's a first aid kit and other medicine in the vestry. I can get you some Dulcolax tablets."Norman looked confused. "What?""No need to be embarrassed. All us older blokes get constipated from time to time. I couldn't help but overhear you in the gents earlier, and you seemed to be in bloody agony with your bowels!"To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

We're back live January 28th and.... We love the news, especially our girl Sandra Sully! She did a whoopsie and accidentally misread an autocue on last night's edition of 10 News First. Hear it now!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Riley, Taliyah and Dominique, oh my!Based on a post by FinalStand, in 13 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.Upstairs, at the same time.Pist; pist,' Taliyah hissed at Mikhail. ‘Wake up.'‘I'm awake,' he replied, though his eyes remained closed.‘I can't believe Vlad is cheating on Brandy.'‘Brandy keeps telling him that she's Darius' girl. How long is he supposed to hang around waiting for her to decide?' Mikhail questioned.‘I; I warned her; he had better not be fucking my Mother.'‘Do you want me to go find out?' he finally opened his eyes. Taliyah's head and shoulders were visible from his horizontal form as she looked from the bed. She was still dressed in her cheerleader's uniform.‘Don't be stupid,' she spat. ‘I'll go look.'‘Yeah; because that couldn't possibly turn out wrong,' he chided her.‘Damn it. Stop making sense. I prefer you being an insensitive jerk.'‘Default setting, gotchya,' he laughed softly. A few moment's passed.‘I can't hear anything,' Taliyah closed her eyes and strained her hearing. Mikhail rolled up into a sitting position then stood.‘I'll be right back.'‘I'm coming with you,' she slid off the bed as well. Mikhail took in the girl-becoming-a-woman before him. Taliyah Malik was taller than Brandy by a good three inches. Her skin was mocha with a dark birthmark under her right breast. Her eyes were dark, intelligent and sparkled when she was angry, as he could well attest.Her lips were full and very little acne scared her face. Her thick, kinky black hair was pulled back in a woven ponytail with beads on the last few inches. Her arms were firm and strong, as were her legs (she'd punched and kicked him with real force), her breasts were hemispherical and pert, with long thin nipples that poked through her clothes when she was aroused. Her stomach was soft to the touch, curvy yet tightly muscled beneath the surface. She was a true athlete.Her thighs and calves were muscular, as was her curvaceous ass which stuck out of its own accord and was sturdy to the touch. Mikhail knew. He'd played in depth with that ass just this afternoon; and loved it. Her full, rich lips were upturned in her normal sneer.‘Where did your clothes go?' she hissed. Mikhail was down to his boxers.‘I don't sleep in my clothes. It is uncomfortable. Besides, we've seen each other naked, so what's the big deal?' he countered.‘It will be a really big deal if Momma finds you like this, in my room.'‘I'll tell her you beat me up, took my clothes and made me sleep at the foot of your bed like a bad serf, or a good dog,' he chuckled. She smacked his chest.Together they went to her room door which had been left partially open when they fell asleep. Taliyah was still disappointed that she hadn't made more progress with the terribly annoying, yet definitely attractive youngest member of the Samsonov clan. He seemed immune to her status at school, or her mother's critical position in city government. He was the most exasperatingly independent man she'd ever met. She was also oddly drawn to his muscular frame, pale blonde hair and crystal blue eyes that reminded her of a raptor.Taliyah couldn't quite accept that she was also drawn to the man's brutality. There was a barely contained beast dwelling behind those crystal orbs; and she wanted to see more of it. She wanted to test it and she wanted to make that challenge because she sure that was exactly how he would see it, a one on one fight for dominance.She couldn't gain dominance in Darius' power structure. The whole cheer squad had been reduced to play toys for the football team. Being a girl meant she was a vagina and little more despite all her personal ambitions. Brandy barely cared, she was so far under Darius' spell. Mikhail was different though. She'd heard about how he treated Kaja; how Kaja was part of his team and was treated as if her ambitions mattered.It wasn't until the car ride home that Taliyah realized that Kaja hadn't hooked up with Mikhail yet. At first, she had thought Kaja was showing stunning wisdom for not dating one of the three most hated White boys in school. The hunting lodge had changed all that. He'd abused her, fought with her and taken control over her and she'd made him pay for every step; and it had been fun. He didn't belittle her efforts nor insinuate that his success was anything more than a temporary victory for either side.She'd verified that in the stables when she'd wailed on him good. Even his scary/crazy mother had thought Mikhail need a good thrashing. How he had ended up in her bedroom when the lights went out was still a mystery. Mikhail hadn't once looked at her funny, or tried anything. After their earlier tussle on the floor and the resulting make-out session, he'd rolled over and gone straight to bed. She'd heard Vlad come in, their whispered conversation and then they were alone.‘I'll go first,' he said.‘Why do you; ,' she got out before he interrupted.‘If I'm seen, I'll be dismissed. If you are seen, there could be a long explanation you don't want to hear,' he told her. ‘I go first.'This time she didn't fight him on the point.As they sneaked down the stairs, Taliyah could make out the noises were coming from the darkened kitchen. From the echoes, some serious screwing was going on.‘Red Wolf Bitch?' they heard Vlad taunt her followed by the sound of a hand slapping an ass hard.‘Yes-yes-yes,' she exhaled with glee. ‘I'm your bitch.'‘Bitch,' Taniyah whispered. ‘He's fucking Riley, that tramp.' She was relieved it wasn't her mother; it was the woman her dad had been cheating with now cheating with the man who was fucking Brandy silly; which was confusing.‘We can go back now,' Mikhail advised her. ‘Nothing to shock us, or make us want to stop them.'‘You like sex, don't you?' Vlad continued to tease her. He was also raining down more spanks. The sound of his cupped hand was a counterpoint to the sounds of her sweaty, meaty behind impacting his crotch.‘Love, love it,' Riley huff.‘What a slut,' Taliyah seethed. ‘I hope he fucks her so hard she can't go to work tomorrow. I hope it hurts.'‘Like it rough?' Vlad said.‘Of course she does, Bro,' Mikhail said quietly. ‘Listen to her howl.'‘Yes,' Riley exhaled.‘You were dressed to fuck Chine tonight, weren't you?' Vlad led her along.‘Yes; oh; no,' she gulped.‘Whore,' Taliyah hissed yet again.‘Did you fuck him today?'‘I bet she did,' Taliyah was getting steamed.‘No; No,' she howled.‘Lying cow,' Taliyah grumbled.‘Let's go back upstairs,' Mikhail gently tried to turn things around.‘I don't care,' Vlad chuckled. ‘I'm fucking you now. Come here,' I coaxed her along; out of sight of the two on the stairs.Reluctantly, Taliyah let herself be corralled and taken back to her room.‘Ga-ga-ga,' Riley choked. ‘God yes-yes-yes, give it to me.'Once inside, Taliyah began pacing angrily.‘He's fucking that sow,' she grumbled. ‘He's fucking her good and that shit belongs to Brandy, not that cheating whore.'‘He's fucking her so she won't be a BBC whore anymore,' Mikhail said casually. ‘In the same way Brandy isn't Darius's pet bitch, Vlad is going to rip Riley apart and fix what ails her on the sexual front. Trust me. That is how it will work out.'‘Trust you? You barely know anything about sex and women,' she blasted him.‘Mom was a far bigger slut than anyone in this burgh and she knows all the tricks, lies and deceptions; and she is confident that Vlad can get the job done.'‘She's crazier than you are and that's saying something,' she retorted.Mikhail went back to the blanket and pillow he had on the floor, making ready to go back to sleep.‘That's what you are going to do?' Taliyah sounded bitter.‘What I plan to do is shut you up, fuck you, curl your toes and make you scream out my name while I force you into climax after climax,' he said as he lowered himself to the pillow.‘I won't let you,' she snarled.‘'Letting' wasn't part of the program, remember? You'll do it because you want to put me in my place and you think you can.'‘Not likely,' she groused. ‘You are never having sex with me again.'‘That's okay. I'll have those precious memories to put me to sleep. The sweat pooling on your lower back, the muscles around your sphincter pulling back along my cock as I pulled out of you and then that sucking noise when I pushed back in. I owned your ass and that will never change.'‘Son of a bitch,' she snarled as she jumped on him. She was playing his game yet she was sure she could win it and shove her victory in his face. One of her knees hit the carpeted ground while the other drove painfully into his hip. Taliyah hauled back to slap his upraised left arm with her right. Her left hand landed on his right triceps, trying to keep him pinned down.'Smack', came the first blow. The second one, he caught by his wrist and held tight. She shifted to her left, only to have that one snatched too. Foolishly, Taliyah went for the head butt, learning rapidly Mikhail had a head as hard as stone.‘Ow,' she gasped. She was so distracted she missed him rising up and kissing her on the lips. He tried again, so she tried to bite him.Taliyah kept struggling, but couldn't stop Mikhail from rolling them over so that he was on top. He paid for that advantage as he felt her stabbing her manicured fingernails into his right hand.‘Hurr; ‘ he grumbled. He didn't let go, though. He tried to kiss her again and got a bitten lip for his troubles.‘Next time I'll bite off your tongue,' Taliyah promised. She was also keeping her voice low so that this fight would remain just between the two of them.‘I'm willing to test that promise,' he gave his best wolfish grin. Mikhail pressed his groin into hers. Taliyah had her legs around him, her ankles pressing into his ass. She was also dry humping his steel pole.‘Get the hell off of me,' she glowered.‘Make me,' he chuckled. Taliyah thrashed about, tried to bring his capturing hands within bite range and endeavored to buck him off with up thrusts of her hips, all to no avail. What she did accomplish was to get both of them very horny. Their quandary was Taliyah couldn't get him off of her and Mikhail couldn't further manipulate her unless he let go of an arm.He let go of her left arm. She immediately slapped him with it, but that allowed Mikhail to roll them back over to where the painful leverage caused her to let go of her leg-lock around his hips. Mikhail also had a free hand. He used it to land a resounding smack on her clad bottom. A slap-for-spank exchange erupted between the two with Taliyah getting more turned on by the second. She knew he was getting into it.She changed things up first, grabbing him by the chin.‘I am Not your bitch, Boy,' she taunted him. Mikhail's counter-ploy was to grab hold of one scrumptious ass cheek and give it a good squeeze.‘Yes you are,' he laughed.‘I'm on top,' she snarled.‘This gives me better access to your tits,' he kept chortling. ‘I'm enjoying the view.'‘I'm going to kill you,' she seethed. Her hand dropped from his chin to his throat as she tried to throttle him. Mikhail's throat muscles flexed, giving her poor purchases. Mikhail took the opportunity to move his hand between the two cheeks and probe her anus through her shorts and panties.‘No you don't,' she rumbled. ‘We are not doing that again,' but her insistence sounded a bit weak, even to her ears.‘What are you saying?' he grew serious. ‘That was the best sex I ever had.'‘I hope you enjoy the memories. That hurt and I'm; stop that,' she protested. Mikhail had moved his questing hand from outside the clothing to inside. He had a finger probing her sphincter in a flash.Taliyah's hand went back to his jaw.‘I said stop that,' she insisted at the same time she stopped trying to wiggle her ass away from the intrusion. Mik drew her higher up his body so that Taliyah's face was above his and her breasts were in his face. The real motive behind that action was revealed when he dipped his fingers further beneath her ass and penetrated her cunt with a finger.‘Oh, now you think you are going to get some of my cunt,' she sneered. ‘Ain't happening. You had your chance this afternoon.'‘Afraid you'll like it? Afraid you'll like it as much as you loved me forcing you this afternoon?' he teased her.‘Bitch; I'll make you my Bitch, Mik. I don't need your cock,' she countered.‘You know I like my Black Bitches quiet,' he snorted. ‘You talk; ‘ Taliyah pressed her lips down on his, shoved her tongue between his teeth and waged war with his tongue before pulling back.‘You talk too much,' she mocked him. Mikhail took his slick finger back to her puckered hole. This time he penetrated. Taliyah flinched, gasped then groaned.‘I hate you,' she panted.‘I'm not particularly fond of you either,' he grinned up at her.‘Liar,' she huffed. ‘You are getting off on my body. I know your brother does.'‘Vlad's got good taste in women,' he radiated masculine charm. ‘I think mine is better.'‘Damn right she is. This still doesn't mean I'm going to let you fuck me.'‘You had better step up your game if you plan to stop me,' he challenged her. Taliyah thrust down on his blood-filled tool and ground her vulva in. Mikhail could then switch up his hand so that his thumb was pressing into her bunghole and two fingers were pumping her twat. She was sticky-wet.‘Fuck you,' she growled. She let go of his jaw, supported her weight with her free arm and propped her midsection up. That forced her shorts and panties down since Mikhail wouldn't release his finger-holds in her nether regions. Mikhail, sensing the change in her stratagem, let go of her right hand. Taliyah smirked down at him at the same time she shimmied out of her clothing. Mikhail quickly shed his boxers.‘Right pants pocket, condoms,' he told her. Taliyah drew up short.‘When did you get them?'‘Vlad gave them to me,' he answered. ‘I guess he keeps a supply around in case Brandy gets frisky.' That was a carefully crafted lie. He knew they came from his mother. But telling Taliyah that would curtail his upcoming sexual romp.‘I'm on the pill.'‘Do you trust it?'‘Your sperms not that strong,' she countered.‘I'll have to give you a double; ‘ he got out.‘Shut up,' she taunted him. ‘You talk too much. I like my white boys doing something else with their tongues.'‘That's date three material,' he chuckled.‘I'm not going to give you the choice.'‘You talk too much. Less lip, more action.'She settled down on him, his cock pressed against his lower stomach while she wriggled over the base.‘I'm not sure I want to fuck you now,' her voice dripped with sarcasm. ‘I don't do White boys.' Mik shrugged. That flummoxed her, until he seized her lapse in caution to flip them back over, mounting her before she could push him off.‘Bastard,' she grumbled. He still wasn't inside of her because his hands were too busy keeping her hands pinned over her head. That didn't stop him from humping her. When he went in for a kiss, she decided to get fierce instead of resisting. She chewed on his lower lip, twisted and wrestled with his tongue against his palate. They exchanged a soulful kiss that caused her to shiver from neck to tailbone.Slowly, Taliyah's right leg worked its way up his left side until her knee passed her waist. She was now wide open and ready for some serious screwing. Mikhail released one of her hands and was promptly slapped. His hand went between them so he could line up his cock for penetration.‘I don't think so,' she teased him. ‘This isn't going to happen.'With that declaration, Mikhail's cockhead rubbed up against her labia, teasing it from hood to perineum.‘Not my ass, you bastard,' she glared.‘Fine, take off your shirt.'‘Why should I do; ah; anything for you?'‘Woman, is it going to kill you to show me your tits again?' he complained.‘What is the magic word?' she taunted him.‘You are a sexy bitch,' he rumbled.‘I was looking for 'please', but that will do,' she snorted. Mikhail let go of her other hand allowing Taliyah to take off her top and bra together.‘Damn, those are some sweet ta-tas,' he remarked.‘These?' she tantalized him by bringing her upper arms together, squeezing her bountiful mounds together and pushing them up.‘Yeah,' Mikhail studied them.‘Get to licking,' she demanded. Mikhail shot her a devilish look. He couldn't pump her and take in her boobies at the same time, so he had to slide down to take them both in. His suckling was ravenous, toothy and full of vigor. He not only lavished attention on her thick, dark brown nipples and areoles, he licked every inch of them, especially the bottom where she was salty with sweat.Quickly she was writhing beneath him. She released her breast augmentation to pull him in tighter by grabbing his ear and using it like a steering wheel. Her left hand went between them and began stroking his aching cock, giving it a brutal yank every time his teeth got too sharp against her tender flesh.‘Yeah; wo; yeah; nice. Rashaan won't do this for me,' she cooed.Mikhail took that insinuation of a comparison to smoothly transition his hand back to her flank, gripping and kneading her perfect, muscular buttock.‘Oh; ah; that's it; yes; this is; so wrong. I; hate you.'‘Hate, love, fucking is fucking, woman,' he answered. ‘You are sensual,' they maneuvered him into her molten, slippery folds, ‘and I'm hot for you. That's enough for me.'‘This isn't going; to become a; ah; habit,' she chuffed.‘I don't think so,' he rebounded. ‘I kind of like this and I'm faster than you.'‘Next time; oh yeah; I'll rip your nuts; ah; off,' she swore.‘I'll; ugh; take that under; (grunt); advisement,' he countered. ‘You feeling fucking awesome; I have to do this again.'‘No you won't,' she groaned. Mikhail began to delve deep into her depths, swiveling his crotch to make sure his cock rubbed as much of her vagina as possible. The more he fucked into her, the more Taliyah rebounded. She'd also finally shut up. She was having the best sex of her short life. None of the gang-bangs and private sessions with Rashaan could compare. She didn't know how to handle this.Slowly the looks Brandy gave Vlad made haunting sense. If Vlad could fuck as well as his brother; that would explain why she didn't want to give that White boy up. Taliyah feared she could get used to this. She already found Mikhail intriguing, strong, vicious and combative, fearless. He didn't give a fuck about what anyone thought. He wasn't even worried about what his brothers thought and did.She really liked that, him not giving a shit, living up to his own expectations and those alone. Even his scary/spooky crazy mother didn't hold him back. Mikhail's rod was caressing, massaging, loving every inch of her vaginal love box.‘You are being awful quiet,' he teased her.‘I thought you liked your Black bitches quiet, asshole,' she shot back.‘I want to hear you scream,' he laughed. Taliyah grabbed Mikhail's right shoulder and dug her fingernails in enough to cause him pain.‘How about you screaming, bastard?' she huffed. She was getting close and she took some of her erotic tension out on his flesh. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,' she covered her mouth and gave Mikhail the squirming and climax he wanted. He barely lasted seconds beyond her, his body tensing up as he drove into her harder and harder before his balls unleashed his torrents of cum.Four, five, six times he erupted. They lay coupled together, both struggling for breathe, sweaty and exhausted.‘Get off me,' she moaned. ‘You are heavy.'Mikhail snaked an arm underneath her then rolled over so that her weight was now on him.‘Oh, you think you are being clever,' she griped. ‘I still hate you.'‘I didn't fuck you to win you over. I fucked you because you are a cock-tease that I had to have. I could care less about your attitude,' he zinged. She hit him on the chest. He laughed, so she hit him again. Finally Taliyah propped herself up, her elbows on his pectorals and her chin supported by her linked hands.‘Are you ever not a jerk?'‘I aim for consistency,' he chuckled.‘I don't know how I'm going to put up with you,' she mused.‘I imagine you will be constantly kicking my ass when I piss you off. That works for my brothers,' he told her.‘Are you one of those masochist, a freaky jerk?'‘Not particularly. If you weren't so damn hot, I'd have dumped you by now.'‘You are an infuriating ass,' she sizzled. ‘Am I just a fuck toy for you?'‘I'm in your room in the middle of the night with your mother just down the hall; yeah; I'm so hard up for a screw that I'm putting up with all this fucked up shit,' he remarked.‘A simple 'no' would suffice,' she leaned in until they were nose to nose. Mikhail tilted his head slightly so he could lick her nose.‘Eew; now I have your slimy spit on my nose,' she complained.‘You have another form of my bodily fluids in your cunt, Taliyah,' he pointed out.‘You are about as romantic as a spittoon. Vlad gives a crap about Brandy. Why can't you give a damn about me?'‘Taliyah,' Mik hesitated. ‘I'm sleeping on your God-damn floor. We are having sex on your God-damn floor and not your far more comfortable bed. If you are expecting sappy words, you are fucking the wrong Samsonov. You should have picked Alexander. He'd treat you like a lady.'‘I would have, but he left,' she lied. Alexander did nothing to engage her spirit and Mikhail resonated with her soul. Mikhail shrugged, rolled onto his side and let his cock slip out of her sex sleeve. She could feel some of his seed leaking out so she moved up, grabbed a Kleenex and cleaned herself off. She even took the precaution of hiding it beneath some other trash. There was no sense in having a fight with her Mother over her raping Mikhail on her bedroom floor.She gathered up her panties and bra, putting them on while sitting on the edge of her bed. Mikhail took the break to retrieve his boxers. She wanted to lie down and try to order her thoughts about her Father, and Rashaan, and bitterly, about Mikhail. Mikhail took her by the hand and pulled her to his kneeling form.‘Lay down with me a bit,' he demanded. She wanted to resist, except she was both physically and mentally tired.Taliyah settled in by Mikhail's side. She rested in the crux of his arm, her head using his shoulder as a pillow. As sleep took her, she worried about what her Mother would say when she found them this way. She nodded off deciding she didn't care. Brandy had stolen her bit of happiness so why couldn't she seize some of her own?Dominique leaned her back against the wall next to Taliyah's door, controlling her own breathing and recalling much of what had passed between her daughter and her enemy/lover. Woken up by the same erotic noises made by that slut, Riley, fucking that Samsonov boy, Dominique had stepped out into the hall just in time to see Taliyah leading Mikhail back into her room.She had listened to most of their exchange, twice coming to the verge of storming in, acting offended and throwing Mikhail out on his ear. Both times, Taliyah's feisty retorts caused her to pull up short and silently urge her daughter on, to dominate the son of Gayle Fonteneau and make him perform. Instead, she and Mikhail had given as good as they each got, coupled like they belonged together and matched each other sexually.Now her daughter was cuddling on the floor with the son of her family's nemesis, softly snoring her way to post-coital bliss. Dominique was wet between the thighs and had an itch she couldn't scratch. Had she not been so furious with Chinedu, she would have called him. Instead, she was alone; and then the noise from downstairs picked up again.{Riley's Ass and Dominque's Pleasure}I had been working over Riley's labia and clitoris while she attempted to eat her plateful of ribs. She was huffing and puffing as she ripped through the last three.‘Let's go to the sofa,' I said then licked her fingers clean.‘I suppose it wouldn't hurt to do it one more time, as long as Dominique doesn't find out.'I led her to the sofa. She was expecting to recline on the furniture while I had other plans.I pushed her behind so that she fell over the arm rest. Riley giggled.‘You like my ass?'‘There is a lot of you to like and I have something special in mind,' I informed her. I knelt behind her, ran two fingers up her inner thigh and delved back into her sloppy cunt. I began kissing each ass cheek, working my way into her crack. With my left hand still working over her vaginal canal, I opened up her buttock with my right.Running my tongue from her sweet secretions to her anus brought forth wanton moaning and hip gyrations. I went back and forth for several minutes until I sensed her on the cusp. I rapidly pumped my fingers into her cunt, pressing up with all my dexterity while driving my tongue into her rectum. She jumped, groaned loudly then flopped back down on the sofa.‘Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh,' she labored on and on until her teeth clenched and she began grunting loudly. Her eruption caused her whole plump body to vibrate and quiver. I punctuated her latest outburst with a resounded pop to the ass. That spurred her on to greater vocalizations. I had her going for over a minute until she lay utterly helpless to my predations.I went back to her sphincter, drilling in one finger slowly to the second knuckle. When that became less constrained, I worked in a second. When I went for the third, she mumbled something I couldn't make out.‘What was that?' I inquired.‘I don't do anal,' she pleaded.‘Chinedu already told Dominique and me that he did; and you liked it,' I deceived her.‘He did?' she hesitated then, ‘Oh, okay,' and she submitted to my advances. I had to wonder why she lied to me. Did she not like it, or had she thought I would think less of her because of it? I worked her over with my three fingers until her anus relaxed. Next, I took it easy with my cock, tested her physical frontiers with my cock and her emotional waters with my efforts.‘Hmm,' I rumbled as I worked my full length in at a steady pace. As I pulled out, I saw Dominique looking at us from the foyer. She must have just come down the stairs. I drove my cock back into Riley's ass while keeping eye contact with Dominique. I was kind of curious why she wasn't ripping us both a new asshole.‘You want this cock, don't you?' I asked.‘Yes,' she gasped. ‘Yes; I'm a slut,' she sobbed.‘Hey, at least you are honest,' I allowed. ‘And you are good at it too.'‘Oh; umm; thank you,' she hiccupped.‘You're welcome,' I pounded her ass for a minute, silent except for Riley's gasps, grunts and moans. It was positively glove-like by this time and every thrust drove her farther into her own sensual euphoria. Hey, she really liked cock.‘So, what do you think of Dominique?' I surprised them both.‘I, huh, what?' she tried to order her thoughts.‘Is she a good boss?'‘Ya, yes,' she panted.‘You find her sexy, don't you?' I tossed out there. This was one of the lessons I was supposed to use on Brandy, except the recipient of the sexy was Taliyah.‘I; a little; ‘ she huffed. She was getting close so I slowed my pace.‘Have you ever brushed up against her ass, touched it?'‘Once; well, a few times.'‘Nice,' I stroked her tramp stamp. ‘I bet is it luscious and warm to the touch. I bet she knows you do it, too.'‘Really?' she gulped.‘Oh yeah,' I looked Dominique's way. ‘She's got to be a sexual volcano. I bet she's got great, silky thighs too. I bet you'd like touching them.'‘May, maybe; ‘‘I'd go down on her if I had half a chance, if she didn't despise me,' I led her on. ‘I bet she tastes like molasses.'‘I don't know. I guess so; I've done girls before; I kind of liked it,' she murmured.‘Good for you,' I gave her a light spank. ‘If you had to go down on Dominique to keep your job; and if you promised to nut Chinedu the next time he propositioned you, would you?'‘You mean eat her out?' Riley looked over her shoulder. I gave her three quick pummelings to get her back on track.‘Yeah, tongues and fingers, really tear her up, to keep your job?'‘Yes, yes,' she moaned.‘Yes, you'll fuck her, or yes, pound your asshole harder?' I teased her.‘Both!' she hissed loudly. ‘Tear me up!'‘Wish granted,' I murmured

Redscroll & Friends Favorites of 2024 We have our (Rick & Josh's) favorites of the year as usual. We have the Redscroll employee favorites also as usual. We've expanded beyond that even! Favorites from some folks in bands on our record label and folks we closely associate and collaborate on the regular! Friends! Most of those folks have recorded their own list and introduced themselves plus there's a few that have submitted a list that we've creatively included. You can go on the web post to peruse their lists (redscroll records dot com) as well. They've all but a couple (yet) been on the podcast too so we'll include their respective episode links on the site as well. Happy New Year!   Redscroll Records Label Releases for 2024 We generally feel too close to them ourselves (Josh & Rick) to include the Redscroll releases as favorites, but of course they are. We wouldn't release them otherwise! So, firstly, here's a quick round up of what we've released this past year (and it's been a good amount of great stuff)! In chronological order:February 2nd: Intercourse “Egyptian Democracy / Bum Wine” 12” February 2nd: Doom Beach / Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop (split) 12” April 5th: The Knife Kickers “Nameless” LP April 8th: Dirt Devil “Desert Moon” CS (SOLD OUT) March 1st: Tongue Depressor & Austin Larkin “Landau Bar” LP June 18th: Intercourse “Bag Fumblers Incorporated 2021-2024” CD July 5th: Trance Macabre “Trance Macabre” LP August 2nd: Dissolve “Burnt” CS/LP October 29th / December 6th: Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean “Sisyphean Cruelty” CD/CS/LP We've got a couple slated for next year already so we're not slowing down! Stay tuned for announcements on those! A couple more we were associate with with exclusive colors this year too! Kidnapped “Disgust” (DAZE) – would absolutely work with again, Lumpy is great. Kidnapped is great. Craven Faults “Bounds” (Leaf) Electronic experimental ambient act out of the Yorkshire, UK. We were contacted by Leaf about splitting a color (Lime Kiln Grey) with Norman Records in the UK and to have a unique OBI strip and it came out great. The record is really a great record and we're happy to be associated with it and it's our first overseas collaboration of any kind so that's pretty exciting and we're absolutely chuffed with how it turned out. FAVORITES LISTS! We've got our lists first. Staff picks follow. Then the rest will be in no particular order other than I will try to mix it up in the edit and put different ends of the spectrum back to back to keep y'all on your toes and hopefully interested in it all! Like I said before you'll be able to check them all out on our web post. Links, pictures, etc. up on the site. I'll assemble a playlist as well to publish with this so you can check all these things in more depth in your own time. That link will be on the web post as well.   Josh's Favorites of 2024: Shannon & The Clams “The Moon is in the Wrong Place” (Easy Eye Sound) Rickshaw Billie's Burger Patrol “Big Dumb Riffs” (Permanent Teeth Records) Pissed Jeans “Half Divorced” (Sub Pop) TR/ST “Performance” (Dais) Chisel “What A Fucking Nightmare" (Pure Noise) High Vis “Guided Tour” (Dais) Trees Speak “Timefold” (Soul Jazz) Future Islands “People Who Aren't There Anymore” (4AD) Jamie xx “In Waves” (Young) Rotting Christ “Pro Xristou” (Season of Mist) Disfigure "New Age Of Judgement" (Self Released) BEST LOCAL Glass Beams “Mahal” (Ninja Tune) BEST EP Josh's Honorable Mentions (no music clips in podcast - check 'em out though!) Missiles “Weaponize Tomorrow” (Svart) Jon Hopkins “Ritual” (Domino) Knoll “As Spoken” (Unto Viewing) Speed “Only One Mode” (Flatspot / Last Ride) Chubby & The Gang “And Then There Was” (Flatspot) Moonglow "Moonglow" (Dungeon's Deep) Caribou "Honey" (Merge / City Slang) Godspeed You! Black Emperor  "No Title As Of 13 February 2024 28,340 Dead" (Constellation) Rick's favorites of 2024: The Bug “Machine” / “Machines I-IV” (Relapse) Civerous “Maze Envy” (20 Buck Spin) Dame Area “Toda La Verdad Sabre Dame Area” (Mannequin) Beth Gibbons “Lives Outgrown” (Domino) Helen Island “Last Liasse” (Knekelhuis) Jonnine “Southside Girl” (Modern Love) Kite “VII” (Dais) *technically a comp, but here we are Lolina “Unrecognisable” (Relaxin Records) Moin “You Never End” (Ad 93) Astrid Sonne “Great Doubt” (Escho) Redscroll Staff Lists!  Caleb's favorites of 2024: Pedro The Lion "Santa Cruz" (Polyvinyl)Thou "Umbilical" (Sacred Bones)Kidnapped “Disgust”(DAZE)Crippling Alcoholism "With Love From A Padded Room" (Fisher King / Aonair)Black Curse "Burning In Celestial Poison" (Sepulchrual Voice) Godspeed You! Black Emperor  "No Title As Of 13 February 2024 28,340 Dead" (Constellation)Blood Incantation "Absolute Elsewhere" (Century Media)Dave Blunts "Well Dude Here's My Thing" (Foundation Media) Chat Pile "Cool World" (Flenser) Caren's favorites of 2024:  Clarissa Connelly "World of Work" (Warp) Cindy Lee "Diamond Jubilee" (Self Released / W.25th) Holy Tongue meets Shackleton  "The Tumbling Psychic Joy of Now" (AD 93) Astrid Sonne “Great Doubt” (Escho) Fine "Rocky Top Ballads" (Escho) Molina "When You Wake Up" (Escho) Milan W "Leave Another Day" (Stroom) Able Noise "High Tide" (World Of Echo) Dregs "Dregs" (Purely Physical Teeny Tapes) Jabu "A Soft and Gatherable Star" (Do You Have Peace?) Julia Heyward & T-Venus "Duka 1" (Modern Harmonic) Dennis Bovell "Sufferer Sounds" (Disciples) Various Artists"Propeller Product Prop 4-1" (Lawrence Wilmington) Erica's favorites of 2024: Castle Rat "Into the Realm" (King Volume / Kozmik Artifaktz / Wise Blood)  Chat Pile "Cool World" (Flenser) Cody Abilene "Dreamstation" (Self-Released) The Cure "Songs of a Lost World" (Polydor / Fiction / Capitol) Beth Gibbons “Lives Outgrown” (Domino) Godspeed You! Black Emperor  "No Title As Of 13 February 2024 28,340 Dead" (Constellation) Gost "Prophecy" (Metal Blade) He Was a God "Muckraker" (Self-Released) Mdou Moctar "Funeral for Justice" (Matador) Missiles “Weaponize Tomorrow” (Svart) Ploho "Почва" (Artoffact / Anchor / Iconic) TR/ST "TR/ST" (reissue) (Arts & Crafts) Ultra Sunn "US" (Artoffact) Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats "Nell' Ora Blu" (Rise Above) Wisp "Pandora" (Interscope) Lexi's favorites of 2024: Anja Huwe "Codes" (Sacred Bones) Aseethe "The Cost" (Thrill Jockey) Aura Merlin "Illuminations" (Dungeons Deep / Ancient King) Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean “Sisyphean Cruelty” (Redscroll)Charli XCX "Brat" (Atlantic) Civerous “Maze Envy” (20 Buck Spin)Crippling Alcoholism "With Love From A Padded Room" (Fisher King / Aonair)  Dave Blunts "I Would Like to See You Try" (Foundation Media) Doom Beach "Burden" (The Ghost Is Clear) Gleemer "End of the Nail" (Other People Records) Intercourse “Egyptian Democracy" (Redscroll) Kidnapped “Disgust” (DAZE) The Knife Kickers “Nameless” (Redscroll) Meth. "Shame" (Prosthetic) Midwife "No Depression In Heaven" (Flenser) Missouri Executive Order 44 "Salt Sermon" (Learning Curve / The Ghost Is Clear) Portrayal Of Guilt "Christfucker II" (Run for Cover) R. Missing "Knife Shook Your Hand" (Self Released) Reymour "NoLand" (Knekelhuis) Rickshaw Billie's Burger Patrol “Big Dumb Riffs” (Permanent Teeth Records)Sunrise Patriot Motion "My Father Took Me Hunting In The Snow" (Sibir) Thou "Umbilical" (Sacred Bones) Uniform "American Standard" (Sacred Bones) Matt's favorites of 2024: Amyl & The Sniffers "Cartoon Darkness" (Virgin / B2B / Rough Trade) Shirese "Hardly Cricket" (C/Site / Grapefruit) Shannon & The Clams “The Moon is in the Wrong Place” (Easy Eye Sound) Sheer Mag "Playing Favorites" (Third Man) Cavemen "Ca$h 4 Scrap" (Slovenly) Trance Macabre “Trance Macabre” (Redscroll) Emilia Sisco "Introducing Emilia" (Timmion) Jamie xx “In Waves” (Young) Patrick Cowley "From Behind" (Dark Entries) Castle Rat "Into the Realm" (King Volume / Kozmik Artifaktz / Wise Blood)  Ty Segall " Love Rudiments" (Drag City) Redscroll Records Label Bands & Friends Lists!  (less music embedded, but just as fun!) (Those who are in blue are hyperlinked to their individual podcast episode!) Stefan Christensen of C/Site and various projects including solo material List: Stefan talks about his label releases from Shirese and his latest solo record. The cassette from Last Light just recently came out and a December release from the Flower Corsano Duo.  Local recap: Mountain Movers released a record.  Kryssi Battalene's Rock Candy with Emily Robb on 7" and her 12" with Wednesday Knudsen. The Secular Music Group and The Pist and local black metal label Ixiol Productions was busy! Beyond: Los Doroncos "昼​花​火​ / Sun And Fireworks" (An'archives)Omit "InSec" (Siltbreeze) Alastair Galbraith "Lagash"(Nice) + "Talisman" (Otic)Arv & Miljö "Jorden Först" (Discreet Music)Juho Toivonen "Sisarusten Toistuva Un" (Discreet Music) Wakuénai (Curripaco) "Music for Shape​-​Shifters: Field Recordings from the Amazonian Lowlands, 1981​-​1985" (Sublime Frequencies) Mohammad Syfkhan "I Am Kurdish" (Nyahh) Jentlemen of Heatsync/Neu Body,  & various projects List: Roy Of The Ravers "You Don't" (Winthorpe Electronics) M Parent "ZMNT009" (Zement) Alex Ranzino "Ride Da Perc EP" (PHOQ U PHONOGRAMMEN/U-TRAX) Bryan Zentz "Barada Trax Six" (Sonic Groove) Viikatory "Atom Heart EP" (Unknown to the Unknown) Guilt Attendant "A Flower Wilts Under The Heat Of The Son" (Unimatrix Zero)Love Letters "Falling Star" (Interdimensional Transmissions) Scotia "Giving Chase" (Acid Camp)Paranoid London "Arseholes, Liars, And Electronic Pioneers" (Paranoid London Records)AceMo "Moblu" (Self Released) Dirt Devil collective List: Tempestade "que é que eu faço" (Self Released) Ex-Tradition "The Holy Pervert" (Self Released) Alvilda "C'est Déjà L'heure" (Statik Shock) Departure Chandelier "Satan Soldier of Fortune" (Nuclear War Now!) The Mountain Movers "Walking After Dark" (Trouble In Mind) Gloomy Reflections "Oath of the Paladins" (Crypt of the Wizard) Clock Serum "Contrast" (Synthicide) Ian St. George "Emergency Index" (Dead Bell) Chappell Roan "Good Luck, Babe!" (Island) Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean List: Spectral Voice "Sparagmos" (Dark Descent)Upon Stone "Dead Mother Moon" (Century Media)Tzompantli "Beating The Drums Of Ancestral Force" (20 Buck Spin)Chanel Beads "Your Day Will Come" (Jagjaguwar)Container "YACKER" (Alter)Sumac "The Healer" (Thrill Jockey / Sige)The Body "The Crying Out of Things" (Thrill Jockey) Collapsed Skull "Your Father's Rage Evaporated In The Sun" (Closed Casked Activities) Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop Chop List: Frail Body "Artificial Bouquet" (Deathwish)Thou "Umbilical" (Sacred Bones)Space Camp "How Could I Not Be  Your Girl" (Self Released)Kendrick Lamar "GNX" (pgLang / Interscope)B L A C K I E "Noise God" (Self Released) Sissy Spacek "Mirror Aggressor State" (Helicopter)Suppression "Spiritual Sepsis" (To Live A Lie)Kidnapped “Disgust” (DAZE)Tyler the Creator "Chromakopia" (Columbia)Collapsed Skull "Your Father's Rage Evaporated In The Sun" (Closed Casked Activities) Dissolve - Paul List: Sumac "The Healer" (Thrill Jockey / Sige) Mary Timony "Untame The Tiger" (Merge) Melt-Banana "3+5" (A-Zap) High On Fire "Cometh The Storm" (SPV / MNRK Heavy) Kim Deal "Nobody Loves You More" (4AD) Shellac "To All Trains" (Touch & Go) Chelsea Wolfe "She Reaches Out To She Reaches Out To She" (Loma Vista) Bed Maker "Bed Maker" (Dischord) Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds "Wild God" (Bad Seed / Play It Again Sam) Kim Gordon "The Collective" (Matador) Doom Beach - James List: MIKE & Tony Selzer "Pinball" (10K)Missouri Executive Order 44 "Salt Sermon"(Learning Curve / The Ghost Is Clear)Blind Girls "An Exit Exists" (Secret Voice / Persistent Vision / Life.Lair.Regret)Magdalena Bay "Imaginal Disk" (Mom + Pop)Mount Kimbie "The Sunset Violent" (Warp) Honorable Mentions: Space Camp, Intercourse, Chopx7, Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean, Kidnapped Tongue Depressor Henry Birdsey List: Paysage d'Hiver "Die Berge" (Kunsthall Produktionen)Lukas de Clerck "The Telescopic Aulos of Atlas" (Ideologic Organ)Jim Strong "My Enemies Are Mine to Keep" (Horn O Plenty

DJ Jesse Luscious spins 2024's Luscious Listener's Choices (& some runner-ups) in this exciting round-up of new releases from punk & weirdo upstarts & veterans from around the planet! Hear the latest from MC5, The Dwarves, Split Dogs, Girls In Synthesis, Cock Sparrer, Coughin Vicars, City Mouse, Human Toys, The Darts, The Death Wheelers, Build Them To Break, Zombie Met Girl, Śmierć, Hard Skin, The Chisel, Deathtraps, Flores Y Fuego, Prey, Uranium Club, Neutrals, Night Court, Dearthworms, The Pist, Planet On A Chain, Clayface, The Promised End, Slaughterhouse, Rites of Hadda, Reduced, The Phase Problem, The Hip Priests, The Last Gang, & Josie Cotton! Split Dogs- Punch Drunk Coughin Vicars- One Cuff Fits All City Mouse- Magnitude Human Toys- Don't Bury Your Dead Dwarves- Roxette Dwarves- Stabbed My Dad Zombie Met Girl- Corpseville Darts- Are You Down Josie Cotton- Painting In Blood Rites Of Hadda- Queer Fool MC5- Heavy Lifting  Last Gang- Dogmatic Capitalizer (Edit) Hip Priests- Thicken My Skin Reduced- Get Through To You Phase Problem- Demon Girl Clayface- Call Your Number Promised End- Smash And Grab (Edit) Planet On A Chain- Ready To Strike Chisel- Living For Myself (Edit) Prey- Ingrate Prey- Til It Snaps Pist- Jim Martin Smierc- Instrukcja Deathtraps- Countdown To Self Destruction Hard Skin- We Are The Wankers Cock Sparrer- Take It On The Chin Flores Y Fuego=- Abraza El Fracaso Slaughterhouse- State Of Emergency Girls In Synthesis- Sinking Feeling Uranium Club- Small Grey Man  Dearthworms- Strike Low Neutrals- Stop The Bypass Build Them To Break- Blood Moon Sky Night Court- Cellphone Death Wheelers- Interquaalude Death Wheelers- Sissy Bar Strut Death Wheelers- Open Road X Open Casket

Dec. 6th is the last Bandcamp Friday of the year.   One Friday a month, Bandcamp relinquishes their cut of all the sales on the site. Effectively giving the artists 100% of the profits. We've been big supporters of BCF for years now. So this week we figured we'd throw out some of our recommends to add to your collection. But don't just take our suggestions. Run, don't walk, to Bandcamp right now.   In our "News, Views and Tunes", we remember the Cabbage Patch Kid riots. Musically, we crank new Anialator (TX), Sign Of The Jackal, Evil Survives, Against Empire, The Pist, Hellfire Club '76, Leatherhead, Hippie Death Cult and we introduce folk metallers Mythbegotten in our "Indie Spotlight".   Snowy's Picks: Hippiedeathcult.bandcamp.com Witchesbrewthrashes.bandcamp.com (Spitfire) Middleearthrockss.bandcamp.com Hellfire76.bandcamp.com Thepist.bandcamp.com   Aaron's Picks: Messer Chups - Don't Worry Be Creepy Rodrigo Y Gabriella Estaurio - Puerta al Sol Mythic - Anthology Echoes of Death  - In The Cemetery Shameless Plug - DiGregorio       Horns Up!

Fellatio Rites for the Ghost of John Wesley By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna took a deep breath as she approached Oakwood Road Methodist Church. "Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Reverend Morris asked. She patted his shoulder. "I'll be fine Simon. You don't need to worry. It's the ghost of John Wesley, not Jack the Ripper. This is exciting! I hope he'll appear!" "Right, well, I'll be sat in the car then. I hope you won't be too long. Remember, just turn and run the moment you feel in any way uncomfortable." "Reverend Morris, I think you're scared!""No I'm not! I can't help being concerned for the safety of the woman I love can I? Aren't you a tiny bit nervous?" "I'm as cool as spring water," Jenna replied. "I was reading all about John Wesley last night. He was a true gentleman. I'm sure this won't take long." Reverend Morris nodded as he watched his wife enter the church. "Well if anyone can fix this, Jenna can. I don't know what she said to the Archbishop of Canterbury last week, but he changed his mind about the wall plaque faster than the Government does U-turns. I wonder what she said to him? Whatever it was, Justin Welby was impressed!" He reclined in his car seat. "I was so lucky to meet Jenna. Of course, it was God who delivered her to me. That fateful Sunday morning in the vestry, oh." Father Aiden was walking along the street. Many things were on his mind. He had some important decisions to make about his future in the priesthood. Briefly glancing up from his smartphone, his heart jumped as he spotted Jenna entering the Methodist church across the road. "Holy Mother, " he muttered. A rush of excitement swept over him as he recalled the intimate encounter he'd enjoyed a few weeks ago. It was that which had spurred him to think about his future. He quickly crossed the road. "Hello Father!" The priest almost dropped his phone. Someone was shouting at him from a parked car. "Oh, Reverend Morris. Hello there." Damn, no chance of a repeat encounter, he thought. "I've just seen your wife going into the Methodist church." "Yes, I hope she won't be long. I'm just waiting for her." "Are you alright? You look a bit anxious, if you don't mind me saying." "It's a long story, Father. I think you'd better sit down in the passenger seat and I'll tell you. You've not heard about what's been going on in Oakwood Road church have you?" The priest looked confused. "Nope. Tell me more!" He opened the car door and sat down. I could do to unburden myself too." "Okay, well, this might sound a bit weird." "I can handle anything weird," Father Aiden replied. "It's about ghosts. As a Catholic, what are your thoughts on them and have you ever seen one?" Father Aiden thought about his answer very carefully. "Hmm. In theory, billions of ghosts potentially exist because billions of human beings have "lost" their bodies through death. Strictly speaking, these disembodied souls are not ghosts because they have never become discernible to any living people. Only those few souls whose presence is seen or felt by others are truly ghosts. And their existence is real." "So you've seen one?" "Yes. Two actually. Once in Ireland when I was a child and another when I was based in Liverpool. I was called upon to rid a family's home of a troubled spirit." Reverend Morris looked relieved. "That's good to know." "The Old Testament also has a few ghost stories. The most famous one is in 1 Samuel 28:8 thru 20. Here the inspired writer tells how King Saul met with the ghost of the prophet Samuel." Father Aiden replied. "Have you seen a ghost?" "Yes. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of John Wesley! He's haunting the Methodist church. That's why I'm here. Jenna's gone in there to try and help him return to, the other side." "Oh I see, then she must, wait, what?" Father Aiden did a double take. "Thanks for coming' along Mrs. Morris," Reverend Ewing said, shaking Jenna's hand. "I know you probably think this whole thing is crazy." "Not at all! And call me Jenna. I'm a true believer. If my husband says that you and he saw John Wesley, then I know it's true. But why does John want to see me of all people?" "Your hubby mentioned that your grandma is a Methodist?" "Uh yeah. Bit of a tenuous link. Like Sir Henry Barrington-Smythe's horse." "Huh?" "Oh, never mind. Figure of speech." "You Brits and your little quirks!" Reverend Ewing laughed. "I'm still getting used to 'em!" "You said John usually appears in the vestry?" "Uh-huh. Can be anywhere in the church, but he seems to like the vestry best." "Right, well go and wait in there and say a few prayers, and see if he appears. I'm not sure I can do anything, but I'll try my best." Jenna entered the vestry. Everything looked perfectly normal in there. She closed the door and looked around. "It always comes back to the vestry," she smiled to herself as she recalled when she first got to know Reverend Morris. Suddenly, the row of gowns on the rail began to swing on their hangers. The temperature dropped, and Jenna rubbed her arms. "Are you there, John?" She called out. "Yes." She spun round. There was no sign of the spirit. "Hey, come on, show yourself at least. It's no fun talking to the invisible man." "My sincere apologies," John replied, and slowly faded into view. For the first time, Jenna was taken aback. "My God, you really are John Wesley, " He nodded and bowed. "Bless ye, for am so honored you hath come here. If I may be so bold to say, you be a lady of great beauty my dear." "Very kind of you to say, Mr. Wesley." Jenna said. "Why are you back in the land of the living? Aren't you happy in Heaven?" "Ah yes," he began. "Happier than mortals can ever imagine. But you see, I feel compelled to return to this realm every All Hallow's Eve. I like to re-visit the places where I worshipped back when I was alive. And it was in this very place where this church now stands that I preached to crowds back in the autumn of 1778." "You've got a lot of places to visit in just one night," Jenna said. "I read all about you. You traveled all over England spreading the Word of the Lord. Plus you went to America, the colonies, when you were younger." "Indeed I did, yes. To my regret, I lingered a little too long here, for I found myself unable to return to the afterlife. The sun had started to rise, heralding All Saint's Day. Thus, I am trapped here in this church until next All Hallow's Eve. Only a tremendous release of positive energy could allow me to return before then." "Oh dear. May I ask why out of all the people in the world, you wanted to see me? What can I do? My gran is a Methodist. Is that the reason?" "No Miss Jenna. It was your aura that attracted me. It's very strong. I believe God himself must've embodied you with some sort of innate goodness that allows you to help people." "You're making me sound like some kind of saint! I assure you I'm just a regular human being. I'm not particularly gifted in anything, although I do try to be a good person, " John had a rather dreamy expression on his face. "You remind me so much of Grace Murray, a lady I loved and lost, only you be far prettier than her." It was then that Jenna had an idea. A huge grin spread across her face. She'd read all about John Wesley's life and how unlucky he'd been in love. "A tremendous release of positive energy, you say? I think I know something which may cause that!" John put his hands together. "You do? Pray, do tell, my dear." "You need to experience an orgasm. What could be more positive than that?" He blinked. "I beg your pardon?" "Oh you know, " She tried to think of a period-appropriate phrase so he'd understand. "The end act of carnal relations?" He blushed. "Oh. Miss Jenna I be a man of God. I don't see how, " Jenna sank to her knees. "Only one way to find out, John!" She paused. So he's a ghost. I've never pleasured a ghost before. Isn't he composed of just gas? He's quite cute, for someone who died in 1791! I wonder if, She reached out to touch him, and expected her hand to pass right through his body, but it didn't. He jolted at her touch. "Don't worry John. I've done this before, many times in fact. It's a great honor to be able to do it to you. I'm sure this will help you." The moment of first contact had arrived. Jenna let one hand gently glide ever so slightly over John's thigh, encased in tight black breeches. Reaching out with the other hand, she ran it over his crotch, feeling an impressive bulge. "Oh my! I feel strangely warmed yet again!" John sighed. Jenna fumbled with the buttons on his breeches, being more used to zippers. Something large and splendid lurked within. Either that or he had a Bible stuffed down there. "My God!" she gasped, as the Methodist's member was revealed. The short, slightly-built John Wesley was hung like a horse! "How on earth were you so unlucky in love?" Jenna exclaimed. "Mostly the ladies deserted me long before I even reached the bedchamber," he mumbled. "Well I'm not deserting you." She pledged.Outside the vestry, Reverend Ewing paced back and forth, wondering what the strange groaning noises were all about. "The hell is going' on in there?" She said out loud. "Ah!" John sighed, his eyes closed in ecstasy. Thoroughly satisfied, he cried out in joy. "Thank you! Thank you so much!""Ah! I'm free once more! You've freed me Jenna! I can't thank you enough! I can return and be at peace!" He began to rise up into the air. "I hope we shall meet again sometime! Farewell and God bless!" Jenna stood up and wiped her lips. "Godspeed, John! Oh! Just one more thing, next time you visit, can you bring your brother Charles along?" Reverend Ewing was about to knock on the vestry door, when it suddenly opened. "Oh! Is everything alright?" "Everything's fine. You can reopen your church. John's spirit is at peace once more." "For sure? He's really gone? But how?" "I just said a prayer for him. Told him how much his teaching continues to inspire people to this day. That seemed to satisfy him and he just faded away." "Well thank you so much, Jenna," the reverend said, shaking her hand. "I'm so glad it's all over. It was really stressing me out! and I'm so happy that John is at peace in the Lord's kingdom again. Oh, what's that on your clothing?" Jenna looked down and was mortified at the huge globs of cum. "Oh dear. It's, candle wax. I didn't realize it had spilled. I must get going now, Reverend Ewing. Simon is waiting in the car and he'll be getting worried." "Of course. Thank you again, and give my regards to Simon!" When she'd gone, Reverend Ewing looked round the vestry. "Hmm, strange. There are no candles in here." The lecherous church warden meets his match. After peace was restored to Oakwood Road Methodist Church, and the spirit of John Wesley successfully liberated, Jenna and Reverend Morris turned their attentions to this weekend's Remembrance Sunday service. This was always a major event, and the people would be crammed into St. Michael's like sardines. "I've finally completed this special sermon," Reverend Morris said, handing Jenna his iPad. "Have a read and tell me what you think. I included your suggestions about the importance of teaching the younger generation about those who died in wars. Also the bit about Winston Churchill being a flawed figure. Good suggestion, that. As human beings we are all flawed in some way." "It looks fantastic. Let me grab a coffee and settle down to enjoy this!" "I hope it won't come across as too boring. You know I always get paranoid about my sermons. So many churchgoers dread a long sermon!" "Your sermons are always fun and relevant, Simon, You're too hard on yourself." The mild-mannered vicar smiled. "Aww, thanks! Oh and I hope Norman Winstanley behaves himself this weekend. I had to have a quiet word with him during the Wednesday morning service." "The new churchwarden? What's he done wrong?" "Well, as you know, he took over from dear old Albert who died last month. He'd previously been at St. John's, but sadly, that church has closed for good and is being demolished. Such a shame. It was a great church back in the day." "Very sad when a church dies. What are they building in its place?" Jenna asked. "An Aldi supermarket. Anyways, about Norman. He's sixty-five and a terrible lecher, to put it plainly. Some say he's Sid James and Benny Hill cranked up to eleven. He didn't get nicknamed Carry On Norm for nothing." Jenna was immediately intrigued. How come I've never noticed this guy before? She thought. "Ooh. So he likes to ogle young women does he?" "Yes, but not just young! I've seen him staring at the legs of older women too. Last Sunday, I caught him perving at Mrs. Wilcox when she was doing the flower arranging. And she's about eighty! Though I admit, she does have nice legs, for someone er, so mature." "Naughty boy. At least he's not ageist." Jenna said. "He needs to get on OnlyFans." Reverend Morris couldn't help but laugh. "You always try to see the best in everyone! Well just looking is one thing, but Norman has built up a bit of a reputation for being a qualified pincher of bottoms. I won't tolerate that sort of behavior. It's completely unacceptable. I'm surprised he's avoided getting into more trouble, to be honest." "Is he married?" "No, widowed. Took early retirement too. Has far too much time on his hands. And we all know that the Devil makes work for idle hands, " "So true," Jenna nodded. "He makes bottoms for idle hands to pinch. "I don't think I've seen Norman. What does he look like?" "Well he wears glasses and he's the spitting image of Frank Carson." Jenna blinked. "Who?" "Heh, I keep forgetting the age gap between us. Frank was a Northern Irish comedian. He's dead now. My dad was and still is a massive fan of him. He used to go and see him on stage at Blackpool in the 1990s." Reverend Morris looked up a picture of the comedian on his phone and showed it to her. "Ok. I'll keep an eye out for Norman this Sunday!" "If he tries anything with you, tell me at once!" "Oh don't worry. He wouldn't dare," Jenna replied, smirking to herself, an idea already forming in her mind. Naughty Norman. I can't have a churchwarden with wandering hands threatening Simon's church. I'd better get my hands on him before he causes any more trouble! As expected, the Sunday service was very well-attended. Jenna had arrived early, as she wanted to sit in a specific place right in the front pew. She chose to sit on the left side, in front of the organ. She'd chosen this spot because it was semi-hidden, due to a convenient pillar. More importantly, Norman the churchwarden would soon be standing here, just a few feet away, ready to direct people when it was time to take communion. For Remembrance Sunday, Jenna had chosen a smart, but conservative black dress and a silk scarf featuring a poppy pattern. She was wearing two paper poppy badges, and one of them was in a very intimate place. "I hope this isn't disrespectful to the war dead," she thought to herself as she crossed her legs. "But it's necessary. This is for the good of the church's reputation. Very helpful that these self-adhesive poppy badges exist now. I just hope it doesn't drop off, " Before long, Norman Winstanley appeared and Jenna recognized him at once. Her husband's Frank Carson description had been spot on. The guy looked just like him. A full head of white hair, glasses and bushy eyebrows. A stocky build, with a beer gut. Norman looked very smart. He was wearing a dark grey suit with white shirt and maroon tie. He had big hairy hands. Jenna wondered if other parts of his body were hairy. "Ah, that's him. Mr. Wandering Hands Winstanley," she said to herself. She should've been repulsed by this randy old boomer, like most women her age would be, but as usual, she found herself lusting after him and getting wet. "I wonder if he wears y-fronts like Gordon? He looks the type." Of all the different types of underwear she'd seen men of this church wearing, y-fronts and boxer shorts were her favorite. Norman stood in his usual place, ready to direct the lost sheep, as he termed the congregation, to the pews, and then out again, when called for communion. St. Michael's had an efficient system whereby the congregation, one pew at a time, went up for communion, walked in a circle round the church and back to their seat. This system had been introduced during the pandemic, but had proved so successful, it had been kept on. Suddenly, the strains of the organ interrupted the quietness of the church, as Gordon began playing the opening hymn, O God Our Help in Ages Past. Everyone dutifully stood up, and it was then that Jenna caught Norman's eye. She noticed him staring and winked at him. He winked back at her. Immediately, she knew she had his full, undivided attention. Who's that tasty little filly? Norman thought. I haven't seen her before. Mind you, I've only been helping out here a week. Not many young lasses in this church. She's a pretty one. Mmm, I'd like to goose her! Look at him, undressing me with his eyes, Jenna smirked. Oh he's horny all right. I think he needs a lot more than a butt cheek to pinch. I bet his balls are as blue as a Smurf's arse. The hymn finished, and everyone sat down, as Reverend Morris began the usual start of the morning Eucharist. "A very blessed welcome to all who have joined us today, for this, our special Remembrance Sunday service. We are gathered here today to reflect on those who gave their lives in the service of this country. At the same time, we reflect on those who are currently enduring the horrors of war. The people of Ukraine, Syria and Afghanistan. Let us pray, " Jenna bowed her head. At the same time, she crossed her legs and slid her dress up, exposing some creamy white thigh. Norman's eyes almost popped out of his head. She was sure she heard him utter a noise, rather like the whinny of a horse. At the same time, Gordon peered over the top of the organ, waiting for his cue to start playing the Gloria in Excelsis. His elevated position afforded him a perfect view of Jenna, when he spotted her sitting right at the front. He assumed she'd chosen to sit there for his benefit. "Venus herself," he muttered, gazing at her flawless legs and remembering the last time they'd been wrapped round his body at the vicarage social. He felt his cock starting to throb. "God she makes me feel glad that I was born a man!" A cough brought him to his senses. Josh the curate was desperately trying to attract his attention as discreetly as possible. "Oh, sorry!" Gordon whispered, fumbling with his music sheets. He started playing the Gloria. Jenna was getting excited just thinking about flashing her white panties. Her nipples were already erect and hard and she could feel that familiar warm, moist sensation between her legs. Slowly, she slid her dress up higher and uncrossed her legs, doing so in such a way that it was impossible to avoid a panty flash. She looked at Norman and raised an eyebrow. He let out an audible gasp and his face flushed a shade of red that looked as if his blood pressure had reached stroke-inducing levels. Fumbling in his pocket, he grabbed a handkerchief and wiped his face. Jenna noticed how his forehead and upper lip were glistening with sweat. No-Nut November might be a thing, but not in my world, Jenna thought. At this rate, poor Norman will have collapsed before I even get to unzip him. He was looking at her again and she noticed his bulge in his trousers that he tried covering with crossed hands. Communion was rapidly approaching, and in the middle of the offertory hymn, Norman suddenly rushed off to the gents. When he returned a few minutes later, Jenna noticed his flies were unzipped. She wondered whether he'd done this deliberately or forgotten to zip up after having a pee or a wank. "So you want to play do you?" Jenna whispered and winked at him. Norman was holding an order of service booklet, and deliberately dropped it. As he squatted down to pick it up, the gap in his unzipped trousers widened, allowing Jenna a glimpse of his underwear. She was thrilled to have a peek at his pale blue y-fronts and the bulge contained within. "Very nice!" She mouthed to him and blew a discreet kiss. It was time to take communion, and being sat at the front, Jenna had to go first. Calmly, she rose from the pew and walked past the organ. As she did, the poppy pinned to her dress fell out. "Oh dear, she said, and bent down to pick it up. As she did, she ensured her dress rose up, revealing a flash of her panties. However it was Gordon who got the full eyeful. He leant over for a better look, and clumsily knocked a load of music books off the shelf at the side of the organ. "Damn and blast it," he muttered, scrambling to pick them up. Jenna took communion and walked round the church and down the side aisle. As she approached her pew, Norman "helpfully" held out his hand to direct her, and she took the opportunity to squeeze past him. As she did, she felt a hand cup her right buttock and give a little pinch. "You're a dirty old man, Mr. Winstanley," she said. "Luckily for you, I happen to be a dirty young woman." Quick as a whip, she slid her hand to his crotch and groped his bulge through his unzipped trousers. "Ah, oh!" Norman jolted in surprise. Jenna sat down and smiled at him. "I want to see more. Do you?" His nostrils flared, and he quickly backed off, squirming with arousal and bewilderment. Jenna wondered if she'd scared him off, but as the organ music resumed and communion ended, she saw him grab the order of service booklet again and hold it sideways against his crotch. Wondering where this would lead, she was ready to play. It was much more fun than her doing all the flashing. She raised her leg and slid a finger across her panties, pulling the material to the side, giving him a peek at her pubic hair. Norman felt like he was going to cum in his underpants, if this continued. His face was red and his breathing was shallow. He wondered just how much longer he could hold on, but hold on he did. This cheeky little filly was unlike any other woman he'd ever encountered. A wiser, less lecherous man would've backed off long ago, in this age of Me Too, mindful that he could be being led into a trap. But Norman was a shameless, seasoned groper and letch, and he wasn't going to back down now. Using the booklet to shield his crotch from other members of the congregation, a swift movement of his left hand freed his cock, and the top of it poked out from his blue underpants. Not looking down at himself, not acknowledging that his erect dick was visible, the churchwarden acted as if everything was normal. Jenna couldn't stop staring at his cock. It was more ram rod than sham rod. She licked her lips and made a gesture to him with a clenched fist moving up and down. What a delicious-looking cock he has! She was practically drooling like a dog in heat, in the same way he was drooling at the sight of her pubic bush. And speaking of which, she hiked up her dress and revealed the front of her panties. Attached to them was another paper poppy. Norman's jaw dropped. At the same time, Gordon craned his neck to peer over the top of the organ again and got a grandstand view of Jenna's poppy. "Holy shit!" He spluttered. He quickly sat down on the stool, but not before knocking his books over a second time. Further along the front pew, sat four old ladies all in their nineties, notorious gossips of the church. "I say Margaret, I think the organist is drunk. He's not quite himself. He was dreadfully out of time when he played the Gloria!" "Well really. It's disgraceful. On Remembrance Sunday of all days. Oh my good gracious, Mavis! Look at that! The churchwarden's flies are undone!" Immediately, the four of them leant forward in unison to get a better look. "Heaven's above, you can see his, concern! How shocking! Somebody should tell him!" "Maud, it's times like this that I really envy the youth. They have those fancy telephones that take instant photos." "The last time I saw a man in such a state was in 1943, and I'd just turned eighteen. Those American G I blokes, such good times!" Jenna couldn't wait any longer. The service wouldn't end for another ten minutes. Removing the poppy from her panties, she adjusted her dress and rose from the pew. "Join me in the gents," she whispered, and pressed the poppy into Norman's hand. "Lest we forget!" Norman just nodded, stunned. He glanced down at the poppy. My God, what a precious object. He would treasure it forever. Carefully placing it in his shirt pocket, he zipped up his trousers and discreetly made his way to the toilets at the front of the church. The gents toilets were empty, and Jenna made her way past the row of urinals and into the end cubicle. Moments later, she heard the door open and Norman entered. He nervously glanced round. "Pist, in here!" Jenna said, ushering him inside. She locked the cubicle door and closed the toilet lid. "Who are you?" Norman spluttered. "You're a cunning little vixen! I want to take handfuls of you, you're amazing! You've got me well and truly foxed!" "My name is Jenna," she replied. "And you're Norman, yes? Our new churchwarden?" He nodded. "If you don't mind," she said looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, "I'd love to suck that hard cock of yours." Norman looked like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once. "Oh Jenna, I'd love for you to suck me," he sighed. "I'd love to cum in your mouth. I'd love to watch you swallow all of my thick cum!" Jenna sat down on the toilet and unzipped his trousers, then unbuckled his belt. Wanting full, unobstructed access to the churchwarden's member, she pulled his trousers and y-fronts down to his ankles. Norman said nothing, he simply stood there, watching her work her magic. He never once wondered why such a young and attractive woman would want to suck his cock so willingly. It had been years, decades even, since a woman had wanted to pleasure him! He was actually getting a blowjob from a stunning redhead, for free!" "What a lovely cock you've got, Norman. I could see how big it was when you gave me that cheeky little glimpse of it in the church service earlier!" She wasn't lying. He did indeed have a nice plump shaft, with big balls, and wiry white pubes. "Some men are like fine wine, they get better with age!" Without hesitation, she impaled her mouth on his shaft. Taking him deep while stroking him, licking him, and sucking him. Norman put his hand on the back of Jenna's head. Jenna cupped his balls, feeling them throb and pulsate, she knew precisely when he was about to cum. At the same time, she ran her other hand up under his shirt, feeling his hairy paunch. "That tickles!" Norman murmured, sighing and groaning. Back in the church, the service had nearly ended, much to Gordon's relief. He really needed a pee. Thanks to Jenna, he needed a wank too, but there wasn't time. Whilst the vicar was reading out a lot of notices, he had just enough time to pop to the gents, relieve himself and head back to the organ to play the recessional hymn. "Mmm," Jenna murmured, her mouth full of cock. Suddenly, Norman heard someone else enter the toilets. "Jenna, someone's come in!" He whispered. "Mmm," was all she could reply, and continued sucking him. Gordon hurried to a urinal and unzipped his trousers. As he began to pee, a loud groan came from the end cubicle. He ignored it and continued relieving himself. The mystery bloke in the cubicle made several loud grunts. Gordon glanced round. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "That poor sod's got a bad case of constipation." He finished, zipped up, washed his hands and hurried out of the toilets, wondering who the unfortunate man was. "Oh, Oh fuck!" Norman groaned, as his climax neared. "Jenna! I'm going to give you a lovely, big creamy surprise!" "Give it to me, Norman!" She felt his cock quiver and his balls tightened in her hand and she got her first taste of his cum. Jet after jet of his thick seed squirted from his cock into Jenna's eager mouth. He took out his cock to allow her to swallow his load and, as she was doing so, he stroked it and managed to squirt a few more sticky blasts all over her face. "Ah," Norman panted. "That was wonderful Jenna, I enjoyed that more than anything. I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me! Did you like all my cum in that sweet mouth of yours?" "Oh I loved that! Your cum tastes so good, Norman!" Jenna lowered her head and planted a kiss on his cock and then on his sweaty, hairy balls. Doing a dreadful attempt at a Northern Irish accent, she added, "It's the way you tell 'em!" "Eh?" Norman said. "My poor attempt at a Frank Carson impression," she replied. "My husband said you resemble him." "You, you're married?" "Yes," Jenna said, standing up. "I'm the vicar's wife." A look of horror appeared on Norman's face. "Oh my God, " "Don't look so worried, Norman." She put her finger to his lips. "Our little secret, yes? Of course, you need to behave yourself from now on. A little birdy told me that you are quite liberal with those wandering hands of yours. No more bum pinching and goosing of any other ladies whilst you're in St. Michael's, is that understood?" He nodded, panic in his eyes. "Say it out loud, in God's name. Because God knows everything." "In the name of God, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself," Norman said. "That's my Norm," she replied, planting a kiss on his lips. "We'd better get out of here. Other chaps will be coming in. You go first." "R-right. Okay." Norman zipped up his trousers, fastened his belt, composed himself and hurried out of the cubicle. He opened the door and glanced round. "There's no-one here. Quick, you dash into the ladies." Jenna ran past him. As she did, she pinched his arse. "Until next time then," she giggled. Norman breathed a sigh of relief and opened the main door that led back into the church. The service had ended and people were starting to file out of the pews. Norman wiped his forehead. His mind was spinning. Not looking where he was going, he almost walked into Gordon, who'd seen him leaving the toilets. "Sorry," he muttered. "No worries," Gordon replied. "Listen, there's a first aid kit and other medicine in the vestry. I can get you some Dulcolax tablets." Norman looked confused. "What?" "No need to be embarrassed. All us older blokes get constipated from time to time. I couldn't help but overhear you in the gents earlier, and you seemed to be in bloody agony with your bowels!" To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Ēventus Comitiōrum Americānōrum Omnibus suffrāgiīs tandem numerātīs, Donaldus Trump nōn sōlum māiōrem partem suffrāgiōrum tulit sed etiam trecentōs duodecim ē quingentīs duodēquadrāgintā ēlectōribus habēbit in collēgiō electōrum, Harris vērō ducentōs sex et vigintī. In superiōre Senātūs camerā, factiō dextra quattuor sedēs cēpit et auctōritātem suam auxit, in īnferiōre vērō potestātem suam retinet et pollēbit. Itaque ūna factiō dominābitur, sī poterit intrā sē cōnsēnsum invenīre. Divīsa autem est illa factiō inter populārēs, quī Donaldō Trump favent, et optimātēs, quī diū pollent. Itaque incertum est, an superior Senātūs camera, ubi optimātium partes dominantur, velit magistrātūs, quōs Trump ēligit, cōnfirmāre. Praecipuē ambigitur an Matthaeus Gaetz, senātor īnferiōris camerae, possit administer reī iūridicae fierī, atque an Tulsī Gabbard, ōlim vīcāria tribūna mīlitis et senātrix īnferiōris camerae quae sinistrae factiōnis fuit, fīat praefecta speculātōrum. Etiam prōpōnitur Robertus Kennedy, fīlius Robertī, quī cīvium salūtem valetūdinemque tueātur. Cōrēa Boreālis et Russia sociātae Kim Iong-un, dux Cōrēae Boreālis, novum foedus īcit cum Russīs quō utraque gēns prōmittit sē alteram, sī oppugnāta sit, dēfendendam. Ūcrāīnēnsēs iam aegrē ferunt, decem mīlia mīlitum Cōrēānōrum in Russiam mīssōs esse, quī Curscham regiōnem, quam Ūcrāīnēnsēs Augustō mēnse invāserant, cum Russīs recuperārent. Cōrēānī mīlitēs bellī inexpertēs fuērunt, sed, quī contrā Ūcrāīnēnsēs proelia faciunt, novissimum genus bellī discunt. Quae disciplīna possit dētrīmentō esse Cōrēānīs Merīdiōnālibus, sī certandum sit cum Cōrēānīs Septentriōnālibus. Justīnus Welby sē abdicat Justīnus Welby, archiepiscopus Cantauriensis et praefectus ecclēsiae Anglicānae, diē Martis munere honoribusque sē abdīcāvit, ut quī salūtem iuvenum parum tuerētur. Quī diu cōnātus erat concordiam afferre ecclēsiae diversīs opīniōnibus distractae, praecipuē cum Britannī novārum rērum studiōsi essent et Africānae ecclēsiae in trānslātīciam doctrīnam prōniōres, quā rē difficilius erit successōrem creāre. Le Pen Accūsātōrēs pūblicī Lūtētiānī poscunt ut interdīcātur nē Marīnae Le Pen, quae annīs praeteritīs candidāta ambīvit summum magistrātum Gallōrum, liceat intra quinque annōs ullum gerere magistrātum, propter causam quam agī coepit abhinc octō annōs. Le Pen ēiusque factiō accūsātōrēs dēnuntiant, ut quī ob ratiōnēs politicās Le Pen persequantur. Doctī virī quī opīniōnēs cīvium metiuntur referunt Le Pen omnēs longē antecellere aliōs, quī annō bis millēsimō vīcēsimō septimō ambītūrī esse videantur. Hāītia Garrius Conille, quī sex mēnsēs ministrī prīmāriī Hāītiēnsium officiō sine effectū fungēbātur, dīmissus est, cūius in locum Alexander Didier Fils-Aime successit. Etiam in Portū Principis, quae urbs nōmine tenus caput est Hāītiae, latrōnēs grassātōrēsque vīcōs cēpērunt ultimōs, in quibus nōndum dominātī erant, et āeroportum clausērunt. Āeroplānō glandibus plumbeīs ictō, magistrātūs Americānī prohibuērunt, nē quis hāc mēnse āeroplānum in Hāītiam dīrigeret. Scholz parum amātus Olāvius Scholz, cancellārius Germānōrum, comitia indīxit diē vīcēsimō tertiō mēnsis Februāriī habenda. Quibus in comitiīs ille vidētur sperāre sē posse secundum creārī cancellārium, quamquam minus amātur quam ullus alius cancellārius in memōriā Germānōrum. Intrā suam factiōnem sunt, quī hortentur ut Scholz spem ambitiōnemque dēpōnat, ut Boris Pistōrius fiat novus dux sociālistārum. Nam tantum quīnta pars cīvium Olāvium Scholz probat, sed Pistōrius lāte probātur.