No Holes Barred

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Unfiltered convos from two, smutty, no f***s given slappers trying to find light in the lesser spoken realities of womanhood and beyond.

Knee Deep In Life, Victoria Emes


    • Nov 8, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 45m AVG DURATION
    • 182 EPISODES

    5 from 115 ratings Listeners of No Holes Barred that love the show mention: victoria, laura, americans, usa, ladies, laughing, sorry, hilarious, living, humor, stories, amazing, real, love this podcast, life, funny, thanks, time, like, always.


    Ivy Insights

    The No Holes Barred podcast is an absolute gem that I stumbled upon and it has quickly become my favorite podcast. Every week, I eagerly anticipate the latest episode as it gives me something to look forward to on my walks around the neighborhood. The hosts, Laura and Victoria, have an incredible chemistry and their humor never fails to entertain me. In fact, there was one episode where I burst out laughing so loudly that my husband could hear me three blocks away! Their unfiltered stories and genuine authenticity make this podcast a must-listen for anyone who loves to laugh.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is the raw honesty and relatability of Laura and Victoria. They are like the sisters I always wished I had - they make me feel seen and understood as a woman. Their discussions about motherhood, sex, body issues, and other taboo topics break down barriers and create a safe space for listeners to be their true selves. It's refreshing to hear women openly discuss these topics without any judgment or shame.

    Another great aspect of this podcast is the banter between Laura and Victoria. Their back-and-forth dynamic keeps the episodes lively and engaging. They have a natural comedic timing that never fails to bring laughter to my day. Whether they are sharing hilarious stories from their own lives or reading funny anecdotes from listeners, they always know how to bring a smile to my face.

    While it's difficult to find anything negative about this podcast, one potential drawback could be that it may not be suitable for everyone's taste. The humor can be quite explicit at times, with references to sex, bodily functions, and other adult content. However, for those who appreciate frank discussions and aren't easily offended, this will only add to the appeal of the podcast.

    In conclusion, The No Holes Barred podcast is a delightful discovery that has injected so much joy into my life. Laura and Victoria have created a platform where they can be their authentic, funny selves, and it's evident that they genuinely care about their listeners. I am forever grateful for this podcast and the laughter it brings me every week. If you're looking for a podcast that will make you laugh uncontrollably and feel like you're having a conversation with your best friends, then I highly recommend giving The No Holes Barred podcast a listen.



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    Latest episodes from No Holes Barred

    We've moved to Patreon!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2024 6:08


    We like to thank all our listeners for their support over the years and to also let them know that all future episodes will be shared exclusively on our Patreon subscription. Every week, we'll be sharing a new episode of NHB episode complete with the full video recording, so you can see our mugs in action as well as listen to our bants. As a closed community, the space will be yours as much as it is ours, and you'll be able to communicate with us directly. Please click here to join for £3 per month We can't wait to get to know you and thank you so much for supporting us and NHB. We wouldn't be here without you. Vic & Laura xx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 194. Turkey Tits

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2024 38:12


    In this weeks' episode of NHB, Vic & Laura share some Turkey surgery success, find out the danger of getting your BIL to mow your lawn and discover why it's best to read your thrush cream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 193. Sweep it under the toupee

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 44:18


    In this weeks' episode of NHB, Vic and Laura catch up on their half term activities, Vic reveals the many uses of a Greggs paper cup and they explore male baldness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 192. RIP Willy

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2024 46:27


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura find out why it's never a good idea to try and woo an Evian bottle, discover the many uses for a Henry Hoover and reveal their plans to launch an exclusive podcast channel! You can sign up to their subscription list here: https://mailchi.mp/80922e144134/no-holes-barred-patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 191. Melted Kitty

    Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2024 43:32


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the benefits of holidays without kids, find out that keeping your socks on during intercourse leads to better orgasms and why you never keep deep heat in your bedside drawers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 190. Bum juice

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2024 37:21


    In this week's episode of NHB, Vic & Laura discuss the single parenting struggle, why no one should own sage green bedsheets and celebrate Vic's upcoming couples escape to Lisbon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 189. Trauma Tetris

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2024 42:51


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Laura & Vic discuss the impact of grief, celebrate Vic's year long stint of sobriety and how not to spread the ashes of a loved one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 188 Mooncup dot com

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2024 46:40


    In this week's episode of NHB, Vic & Laura share to best way to inset a moon cup and discuss what their cosplay identities would be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 187 Lickin Chicken

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2024 52:35


    In this weeks' episode of NHB, Vic & Laura discuss their Easter breaks, delve into the logistics of getting frisky with a roast chicken and discuss the last straw in a relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 186. Phantom Farmyard pooer

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2024 45:31


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura share more ragging hour subjects, discuss the struggle of coming to terms with the ageing process and Lauras arch nemesis, the field mouse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 184. Fingering Tripe

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2024 43:00


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura find out why it's best not to eat a curry before attempting bum play, whether or not the g spot actually exists and share more rage at the inequality between men and women. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 183. Tapir tornado

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2024 50:21


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss what to do when you're caught short in a public place, why Vic should never touch coffee and learn a fascinating fact about Tapirs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 182. Jack & Rose

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2024 48:19


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura discuss the depths that we stoop to for the sake of revenge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 181. Sink turd

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2024 50:43


    Sink turd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 180. Smash the Patriarchy

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2024 53:55


    In this week's episode of NHB, Vic & Laura have some heated discussions about gender inequality, share how magical their Mother's Day was and discover how a pile could save your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 179 Hanging basket

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2024 53:39


    In this episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the trauma of watching the Netflix hit One day, find out just how powerful the suction is on a moon cup and discuss the logistics of being suspended from a ceiling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 175. Prodding the Rim

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2024 36:54


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss contraception, reveal they're actually slightly enjoying their kids and learn how to deal with getting thrush treatment without a prescription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 174.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2024 49:31


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    Ep 173. Use him like a noodle

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2024 42:06


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the ethics of the humble bog brush, discuss whether or not to get matching bumhole keyrings and discover the many uses for Rob's testes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 172. Mushroom gate

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2024 40:37


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat about keeping the romance alive in a long term relationship, Rob buys a rogue mushroom and the girls discuss whether height really matters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 171. Farts & Custard Tarts

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2024 47:31


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Laura relays the horror of losing her child in the woods, Vic shares her utter social awkwardness with other parents and the girls discuss a new venture involving farts and custard tarts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 170. One squirt wonder

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2024 46:36


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura delve into the mysterious world of squirting, get a lesson in what not to say in a dirty text message and learn the importance of your pelvic floor strength when under the influence Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 169 Wear it in, not wank it in

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2024 42:48


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discover how to get intimate with your Mums footwear, the best way to remove a silicone mould from your dingdong and why you always need to check your shipping address when ordering sex toys Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 168. Pussy Tips

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2024 40:34


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Laura tries to get down with the kids but fails miserably, the ladies learn that revenge is best served as a hot cup of cats gonads and learn that you should never ask the location of a caller. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 167. Twat Tooth Fairy Strikes

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2024 40:17


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura welcome in the new year, discuss Laura's new crazy mutt and discover the power of the pelvic floor on dental work. If you would like to sign up to Vic's new fitness progamme, you can use code BARRED for a 20% discount at www.fitbitchpower.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 166. Merry Christmas you filthy animals

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2023 44:37


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss holding a grudge against your partner, the skill set needed to pleasure a woman and wishing all their listeners a very Merry Christmas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 165. Bogan blood fest

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2023 46:58


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic shares how she connects to nature by fingering her raised beds, why you should never ever touch the poles on public transport and how to recover from seeing a nude of your Mum on a 42" TV. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 164 Joey from friends

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2023 33:20


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    Ep 163. Look great on the outside, dead on the inside

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2023 48:29


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    Ep 162. Bum Worm Bandit

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2023 36:49


    In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Vic reveals her weekend puking and bum worm horror, the girls learn about the Victoria practice of using pubic hair to showcase men's conquests in the bedroom and who to call in an emergency in the Sainsburys toilet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 161. The one where Laura randomly hugs a taxi driver

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2023 41:08


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura are reunited after a few weeks of not recording and have a big old catch up, discovering Laura's over familiarity with taxi drivers, Vics venture into the world of spray tanning and what the girls personal icks are. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 160. Live show from the Cheerful Earful podcast festival

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2023 50:54


    In this week's episode, we join Laura & Vic for their first ever live performance at The Bedford, as part of the Cheerful Earful podcast festival. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 159. Diarrhoea dick

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2023 38:22


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss their first ever live podcast show and the impact it had on Vic's nervous system, recall the unfortunate incident of the poo tsunami during Vic's labour and why it's very important not to accidentally hook up with your boss' wife. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 158 Vagina Bogey

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2023 40:56


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    Ep 157. Welcome a sausage into my folds

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2023 44:30


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura are getting excited about their upcoming live show on the 31st October. They share a chilling story about a quick blowie in a hospital story and discuss their aging pubic hair. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 157. Dog walk gone wrong

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2023 30:38


    In this weeks episode of No Hole's Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the age old debate of nature vs nurture, what to do when faced with a poop crisis on a dog walk and ask where the best place for a HRT patch is when you're with a lover. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 156. The poop train

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2023 49:20


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat about missing their dead Dads, discuss the technical specifications of an emergency stop button in the train toilet and Vic shares the peril of teaching an A list celebrity the ins and outs of film studies without a teaching qualification. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 155 RIP Mike

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 2, 2023 48:01


    In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura pay homage to the legend that is Laura's Dad, Mike, who sadly passed away last week. They also discuss why Vic now identifies as a crocodile and how cruise control can facilitate the best ride of your life. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 154 Spudbum

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2023 45:59


    This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura catch up on their weekend antics, discuss the logistics of getting root vegetables in and out your back passage safely, and discuss vaginismus - a condition that affects may women out there. Don't forget to email in your secret confessions, hilarious stories, sexual mishaps and any other business to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 153. Bacterial Spaginosis

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2023 40:45


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura get giddy at giggly at the sheer delight of recording the podcast, losing a condom and fanny flannels once again make a come back for one poor tired dad at the end of a hard day's work. They both celebrate the chaos of their lives because they have each other to laugh their way through it. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 152 Double fisted fud

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2023 41:38


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic teaches Laura the term for a double handed wank and they hear about the woman who lost a tampon for a hot minute as well as a little fact time about herpes. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 151. Gunge Gash

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2023 49:43


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura rejoice in the freedom that comes with the kids returning to school, discuss the ethics of sharing your STD status and discover how cavernous Vic's lady garden is. This episode is sponsored by Better Help.  Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 150. Tongue Slave

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2023 43:08


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura chat the medieval practice of tongue ladies over chairs just so they stay faithful to their husbands. Wonder if that's a valid excuse for being licked out in 2023?? They also read a couple of little confessions and one that heeds warning to all parents, never buy a hamster. It's like Russian roulette. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 149 Niff, naff and Triv

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2023 43:45


    In this episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura chat about how they're surviving the summer holidays, find out the error of having nooky in a conservatory and discuss the struggles of parenthood and feeling like a less an adequate parent.  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Episode 148 Gouda Gash

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2023 44:56


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk holidays with kids and how they're a terrible idea and how Vic is sporting a Frankenstein hand post her carpel tunnel surgery. They then talk about the logistics of being a cleaner and how you leave a parting gift for a client you hate. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 147. RIP Ian

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2023 53:30


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic shares the sad news that her lovely Dad, Ian Emes, has passed away, Laura gives the best health and safety advice about rice and Vic shares the trauma of taking her kids on a fairground ride. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 146. Trouser Trauma

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2023 36:11


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura hear more of your hilarious confessions, discuss Vic's trauma around her husbands choice of trousers and share the outrageous demands of their pets. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 145. It's my toes or no toes

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2023 40:18


    In this episodes of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss the politics of the parent race at sports day, discover the meaning of being a hot wife and delve into the logistics of foot sniffing. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep 144. Melissa Louise, Sex Educator Pt 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2023 61:21


    On this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vi continue their conversation with Melissa Louise, discussing all things pleasure. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 143 Melissa Louise, Sex Educator

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2023 62:21


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, we welcome special guest Melissa Louise, a sex educator and pleasure advocate who chats all things tantric sex, erotic blueprints and intimacy and relationships. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Ep. 142 Bushbuff

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2023 36:16


    In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Laura celebrates the end of her first UK comedy tour and excitedly announce the fact next week's show will be including a very special guest all the way from Mexico who has a very interesting job around mens genitals. They ask the question - would you use your mums sex toy? Which leads into a indepth conversation around toothbrush sharing. Buckle up shlags because this episode packs one hell of a tidy punch. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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