Piss Parade

You don't have to listen to this, you really don't. This is brutal. Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Ugh, oh god, it's all such a mess. This is terrible. But don't worry, we've got kitchen roll, and it only went all over the Christmas presents. Because this election is kind of dull, we've got time to go into a real deep-dive into some of the "Absolute Scenes" that have taken place over the last 24 hours and what it means for us, Boris Johnson, and the political editor of the BBC. Plus, we make our plans for the big night. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Laura on Twitter(the Twiglet Lover, not the BBC's political editor) on Twitter: @Carmichelle Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Fans of Paul with love this episode, as Josh is too tired to prevent him from talking. Fans of everyone else might find something they like too, as we talk about Matt Hancock, and who doesn't love Matt Hancock? Then we talk about... kind of... media stuff for a bit, and then just as it starts to get stale, everything just goes a bit weird. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Harriet on Twitter(the Cast Manager on Channel 4's Gogglebox, not the person on the phone) on Twitter: @HarrietManby Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Today, we hear from Slough, in Stevenage, who has some questions about organic fertiliser, and Dominic Raab, who wants to know about "Courgettes". Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Emma on Twitter (the daughter of some really awesome parents, not our media law consultant) on Twitter: @Emma Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

It's Saturday afternoon and it's real Saturday afternoon in here. We take a while to ramp up (or perhaps just to drink a certain amount), while to talk about the last [indeterminate amount of time] of the general election campaign, as it relates to floods, candidates, strategies, and whether or not anyone actually cares. We talk about voting records, and focus groups, and all that stuff that makes it sound like we're a real podcast. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Michael Ashcroft on Twitter(the optimist mixing emotions and evidence, not the Lord pollster) on Twitter: @m_ashcroft Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Look, I know we never said there were seasons, but there are now, and it's a new one now. It's election season, for some reason, and so we have to abide by all the serious election rules, but we can't immediately find them on the website, so I guess we don't. Instead, we have a huge amount of technical difficulties, just to celebrate. We write a list, find out where all those gooey aliens used to come from, and then Josh sings a song. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow james Cleverly on Twitter(the girl's tag rugby organiser, not the dangerous driver (ding)) on Twitter: @girlstagrugby Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

I had a great idea about something cool to do for Episode 20 while I was drunk last night, but I can't remember what it was. We have lost any sort of idea about what's going on, but somehow we will still talk to you as if we're explaining it. You should know by now that that's fairly unlikely to happen. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Cumboy on Twitter (the proud member of #TeamVers, not the alter ego of Dominic Grieve) on Twitter: @cumboy40961799 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Tom, if you read these, I want you to count how many times in this episode Josh says that they'll come back to something, and how many of those actually get revisited. Look, here's how it is, things have been happening, but they're dumb and they make no sense, and if everything's dumb and makes no sense, then what's the USP of this podcast? There's a Brexit deal yeah, but don't get too attached, it is, no surprise, dumb, and it makes no sense. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Sheila Fogarty on Twitter (this charming seeming lady who made £800 online on August 6th 2011, and wants to tell you how, not the LBC presenter) on Twitter: @rhugh38 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Somehow... out of all of them... THIS is the Messy, Scattered Episode. We start of with a solid ten on Swinson, then pinball around talking about the lowlights of Tory Conference, giving you a sneak peak at the next leadership election, and about how lucky it is that it's mad now, before getting stuck into the absolute nothing that is the fake bad proposal the Government can't even get told off for, no matter how hard they try. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Sir Geoff on Twitter (the Professor Emeritus in the School of Life Sciences at Heriot-Watt University, not the Violent Chair of the 1922 Committee) on Twitter: @SirGeoffPalmer Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Donate to the Jo Cox Foundation: https://www.jocoxfoundation.org/jos_legacy This episode sounds a lot more fun than it is. It's long, poorly structured and it will make you sad, just like... nah, I just don't have the heart. Things are bad, Watersports Fans. We've reached new lows in the last couple of days. We talk about the unlawful acts of the government, about how The Government Always Obeys The Law™️ and about what is now may be fact about how Boris Johnson personally did to a homeless person. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Helen Goodman on Twitter (the Deadmau5 fan, not the MP) on Twitter: @HelenGudman Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

It's all over, our fate has been sealed. How? Listen to the whole episode to find out, because we're great at podcasting, and we've set up this really awesome hype shit, so that you get all pumped and listen to us talking about all this other shit, like Yellowhammer and The Queen and Steph McGoven, who does the business news of BBC Breakfast. Look, it's twenty past one in the morning, and I just tried to start a sentence with a comma, so just listen to the episode. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Jo Whiley on Twitter (the long-dormant bot, not the DJ) on Twitter: @cocolux1 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Have you seen Kingsmen? This is going to be important. Also, like, blah blah, prorogation, constitutional crisis, physical altercations in the house of commons, resignations, betrayals, character assassinations, but man, this central heating is really something. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Black, Rod on Twitter (as in Rod Black, the country singer, not the Black Rod, the parlimentary... thing) on Twitter: @rodblackmusic Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

We know we'll regret saying it, but we feel kind of good about things just now. It's nice to see bad things happen to bad people sometimes, and, oh boy, there are some very upset knobheads right now. We talk about watching a video of Micheal Gove, and then listen to Paul watch a video of Boris Johnson. Cutting edge, up to the minute shit that you can't get anywhere else. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Jo Johnson on Twitter (the director of Casualty and Corrie, not the ex-minister) on Twitter: @charliebunny Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Okay, so this one's chaotic, even for us. We decide it would be fun to record while things are happening, but it turns out to be extra difficult to make any sense of anything if you're simultaneously trying the describe the events that led to the the events that are currently happening and describe the events that are currently happening. It's a chaotic, unpredictable mess, that is very unlikely to end well. So's the podcast. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Sam Gyimah on Twitter (the Ghanaian musician, not the Tory MP) on Twitter: @GyimasamYaw Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

For the first time in months, this is an episode we couldn't not do if we tried. We got real riled up for a bit in the middle there. We just yell about how shit it all is, but you could have probably guessed that because that's kind of what the podcast is. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Ruth Davidson on Twitter (the TV addict, not the spineless piece of shit) on Twitter: @MyDescentBlues Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

We talked big. On our twitter, we might have even called every other politics podcast cowards. But here we are, and we barely podcasted at all in August. Now, shit's happening again, though, and ooooh boy, it's real grim, so we had to come back to yell about it some more. We're talking Hospitals, Home Office, Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Enoch Powell on Twitter (the specialist on major SAP upgrades, not the famous racist) on Twitter: @wvcpimpcj Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Every other politics podcast may have gone on holiday for the month of August, but we care about you, Watersports Fans, and we reckon we've worked out what's going to happen in the next few months, and we think it will really upset you. Plus, a fun new addition to the Piss Parade Soundscape, and some awful Podcast recommendations. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Christopher Hope on Twitter (the Texan Amateur Wrestler, not the Telegraph journalist) on Twitter: @IAmCobraCFH Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Strap in Watersports Fans, this is a long one, because for once, things have been happening. We run through the crowning of World King Boris, his speeches,his purges, his new cabinet, his nothingness, his complete and total absence of anything worth anything, and we drag everyone else down with us too. I wish we hadn't had a previous episode defined by its sweatiness, though, because, oh boy, this one sure was something. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Dominic Cummings on Twitter (The Husband, Father and Son, not the political advisor) on Twitter: @dom_Cummings Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Here it is. The most hyped thing that's ever happened on this podcast. Our friend Emma, a real actual journalist, has been listening to some old episodes and is here to tell us just how much libel we've been doing and how much trouble we're in. Thanks to our live studio audience, Harriet and *toot toot*. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Emma on Twitter (Emma Bunton from the Spice Girls, not the one on this episode) on Twitter: @Emma Bunton Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

So, not much has been happening still, and maybe it never will again, but that's not going to stop us getting all riled up and yelling about it all. This is the first part of what was supposed to be that episode where we get a journalist in to tell us everything we've done wrong in, but we got carried away, and it had to be split in two. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Evgeny Lebedev on Twitter (a man who has only ever tweeted a picture of a mushroom, not the owner of the Evening Standard) on Twitter: @Lebedev_1973 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

This episode, we spend the whole episode bitching about the fact that nothing's happened (apart from the ITV debate, all that ambassador stuff and the John Major thing), and then as we're about to go, remember something really important. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow DipKim on Twitter (some random account with no tweets, not Kim Darroch, the outgoing Ambassador) on Twitter: @dipkim Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

This episode, Josh is feeling very tired because he has been on a five-day news blackout that just so happened to coincide with Glastonbury, and so Paul decides to bother him with a load of questions about stupid politics stuff that happened while he was away. Video of the Brexit Rave, courtesy of Martin Daubney MEP: https://twitter.com/MartinDaubney/status/1145360597351055360 Tom's Etsy Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TomKatsumi The Holes in Paul's Trousers: https://twitter.com/pissparadepod/status/1145815290187603969 Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Martin Daubney (the motivational speaker, not the politician) on Twitter: @InspireCoaches Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Last episode was a fun, party-style episode. This episode is not. Our fun, cheeky satire didn't really feel like an appropriate way to cover any of this, and, so, for once, we're sticking more or less to the facts of the issue. I guess this is our Boris episode, but we don't fill in any of the matrix fields, and instead just run through 4 of the most genuinely worrying days of political commentary either of us have ever seen. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Boris Johnson(but I think his name is probably Ben, and he's only got two tweets, one mistakenly trying to contact someone called Charlotte, and one announcing his disgust at Twitter) on Twitter: @ben7697 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

This episode we celebrate the end of Stage 1 of the leadership contest with an extra-rowdy party episode, starring our first ever guest, Harriet. With her help, we will try and catch up on the events of the last 3 and a bit days, yelling about the BBC debate, the results of the 3 ballots and finally ticking off the last two contenders for the second place slot, Gove and Hunt, one of whom is now the official loser. You probably know who it is, though, Apologies for people who care about these things, because Josh wasn't close enough to the microphone, and sounds like gak. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Jeremy Hunt (the fisherman, not the politician) on Twitter: @flysandguides Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

This episode we're both just a little sad because we've just finished watching the Channel 4 Leadership Debate, "Britain's Next Worst Prime Minister". We add some more columns to the Piss Parade Leadership Matrix, and then get down to business comparing and contrasting Raab and Javid, before they get kicked out at some point next week. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Rory Stewart (the squash player, not the politician) on Twitter: @rorystewart_17 Music from filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

This episode, we realise that time is not on our side, and try to catch up with all the candidates that we won't get another chance to talk about, because they'll be gone by the next time we record. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Rory Stewart (the squash player, not the politician) on Twitter: @rorystewart_17 Music from https://filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

This week we're looking at Rory Stewart, which will be nice. Follow us on Twitter: @PissParadePod Follow Rory Stewart (the squash player, not the politician) on Twitter: @rorystewart_17 Music from https://filmmusic.io: "Intractable" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)