StepDad Success

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It’s difficult to think about what makes you hurt inside, but this type of self-examination causes transformation. We’ll discuss how digging into your pain will help you to solve problems in your life. We’ll talk about how looking at your pain will allow you to see it clearly and understand that change needs to happen. Finally, we’ll talk about what it means to step forward as a leader and address the things that are holding you back. POINT #1: Ignoring Pain Will Only Make It Worse * It is easy to tell yourself lies to cover up problems in your life. * If you don’t look at your pain, it will sit stagnant and fester over time. * Not addressing small problems will lead to big problems. POINT #2: Digging into Pain Will Cause Transformation * Even though it is uncomfortable to think about the things that make you hurt inside, it can cause positive transformation. * Although it

If you are looking to grow, you must understand your purpose. We’ll discuss how asking yourself three foundational questions can help you clarify why growth is important to you. We’ll talk about how your ego serves as a protection mechanism and can hold you back. Finally, we’ll talk about what it means to let go of your ego so you can experience growth. POINT #1: Ask Foundational Questions * To achieve maximum growth, you must understand your “why.” * Ask yourself “what is the pain?”, “what is the cost of the pain?”, and “why does it need to be fixed now?” * The answers to these questions will help you figure out the reason you are seeking growth. POINT #2: Your Ego Can Hold You Back * Your ego is the safety mechanism that protects you from going out on a limb and stretching yourself. * Your ego may be causing you to come up with excuses and reasons that prevent you from pu

Do you choose to die, or are you choosing to live? We’ll discuss how your choices impact every area of your life and determine whether you move forward (live) or stand still or move backward (die). We’ll talk about how showing up on a daily basis and choosing to live will put you on the road to having it all. Finally, we’ll talk about what it means to step forward and take on challenges in your life. POINT #1: You Can Choose to Live or Die * The choices you make in your life are your responsibility. * Your choices have positive consequences that move you forward and negative consequences that move you backward. * By choosing to move forward, you are choosing to live; by choosing to stand still or move backward, you are choosing to die. POINT #2: Only You Can Save Yourself * If you make poor choices and fail to perform your Core 4 daily actions, no one else can save you. * W

Are you experiencing chaos in your life? We’ll discuss how chaos starts in your mind and how following a plan can help you achieve results. We’ll talk about the importance of paying attention to the details when making and executing your plan. Finally, we’ll talk about how you can reduce chaos across all areas of your life in a few simple steps. POINT #1: The Chaos Is in Your Mind * Everyone experiences at least occasional chaos in their life. * You create chaos in your own mind when you don’t stop, breathe, plan and execute. * “Stop, breathe, plan and execute” is a simple plan that will help you achieve better results across all areas of your life. POINT #2: Details Matter * If you aren’t paying attention to the details, it will lead to chaos. * When you panic, rush and ignore details, you will make mistakes—and those mistakes will have consequences. * The details

Are you doing the work when it comes to your relationships—even when you’re on vacation? We’ll discuss why spending one-on-one time with your partner and your kids is important whether you are at home or away. We’ll talk about how to carve out the time to connect with your loved ones individually, even during a family trip. Finally, we’ll talk about the importance of taking your Core 4 daily actions with you when you travel. POINT #1: No Matter Where You Are, You Always Need Balance * If you’re living the Warrior’s Way, you know that part of the Core 4 means making daily deposits into your relationships and taking your kids and partner on a weekly date. * It’s your job to maintain that intimate connection with your loved ones, even when you travel. * In the midst of the stress and chaos that sometimes comes along with travel, it is especially important to stay connected. POINT #2: One-on-One Time Is

Although you may view travel as a time to get away from your business responsibilities, travel can help you learn to work more efficiently. We’ll discuss how traveling effectively means working effectively. We’ll talk about how setting specific times for work will help you complete tasks more efficiently—and will allow you to enjoy the rest of your day. Finally, we’ll talk about the benefits of scheduling time for the things that are important to you. POINT #1: Traveling Effectively Means Working Effectively * Travel forces you to work efficiently so you can enjoy the rest of your time without guilt. * When you only have limited times to work, you will be more productive. * Traveling is a great time to practice working efficiently so you can incorporate the same strategies at home. POINT #2: Schedule Time for Work and Play * Scheduling your work times will allow you to plan fun thin

Josh Wells, a fire service worker from Sedona, Arizona who also operates Rockstar CPR, realized early in his journey as a stepdad that giving and serving are the keys to developing solid relationships with his two stepkids, his biological daughter and his wife. He’ll discuss his initial reluctance to take on the role of stepdad and the game-changing moment when he realized that he could shift his focus outward toward his family. He’ll talk about how he connects with his kids and supports them as they develop into adults. Finally, Josh will talk about the benefits of having an open line of communication with his stepkids’ biological father and how it has enabled him to positively influence his kids. POINT #1: It’s Normal to Feel Unsure * When Josh first met his future wife, he initially did not want to get involved because she was divorced and had two children. * However, after spending time together casually, Josh realized

Discipline can be a touchy subject for stepdads, but it is possible to discipline effectively while remaining calm. We’ll discuss how keeping discipline standard and establishing rules in advance can help your kids understand what’s expected. We’ll talk about why disciplining your kids in the heat of the moment isn’t always the best option. Finally, we’ll talk about how waiting until emotions settle and using agreed consequences teaches kids and prevents repeated problems. POINT #1: Set Standards and Stick to Them * Establishing standards for your kids and going over rules in advance will help your kids know what is expected of them. * Rules such as “don’t be rude” and “listen to others” establish a baseline for good behavior. * By anticipating problems in certain situations, you can establish corresponding standards for your kids to follow. POINT #2: Let Emotions Settle * Although

Have you spent enough quality time with your children lately? We’ll discuss how feeling disconnected from you can cause your children to become rowdy and what you can do to help them to calm down. We’ll talk about the benefits of scheduling daily one-on-one time with your children. Finally, we’ll talk about how one-on-one time with your kids can help you become more open and giving while improving your listening skills. POINT #1: Kids Need Connection * Connection with others is a basic human need. * If you notice that your kids are getting rowdy, think about how much one-on-one time you have spent with them lately. * When kids feel disconnected from their parents, they can become fidgety. * In order to calm down and stay grounded, kids need to feel connected with their parents. POINT #2: Make One-On-One Time a Priority * Between work and family responsibilities, it can be d

Many people dread traveling with kids because of all the baggage they require—but there are ways to help them travel light. We’ll discuss how you can help them understand the opportunities and possibilities for the trip by emphasizing the experiences they will have. Finally, we’ll talk about the benefits of not cluttering your days on vacation with extra stuff from home. POINT #1: Traveling Light is Key * Packing well is the start of a great trip. * Your family will get more out of the trip if they are not distracted by lots of clutter from home. * One of the keys to successful travel with kids is to travel lightly and reduce the amount of baggage. POINT #2: You Can Prepare Kids for Travel * Discussing the opportunities and experiences your kids will have on vacation will reduce their desire to bring tons of stuff from home. * If kids understand that there will be lots of f

If you want to finish fast, you have to start slow. We’ll discuss how mastering the basics and laying foundations will help you hit your targets. We’ll talk about how trying to hit home runs and achieve big results right away will set you back and slow you down. Finally, we’ll talk about the importance slowing down so you can go fast later. POINT #1: It’s OK to Start Slow * In order to hit your targets, you need to start slow. * Taking the time to master the basics and lay proper foundations is important to your overall success. * Although it can be tempting to push for big results right away, going slow at first is a smarter approach. POINT #2: Going Too Fast Too Soon Can Set You Back * Going too fast too soon isn’t realistic; it can cause setbacks and ultimately slow you down. * When it comes to physical fitness, going too fast too soon can cause injury. * In bus

Matt Jones, a stepdad of one and father of two, will discuss how he believes that embracing your parenting experiences can help you become a better person. He’ll discuss how he grew into his role of stepdad, learned from role models in his life and developed a relationship with his stepson. Finally, Matt will share his thoughts on being grateful for what he has been given—even when he didn’t expect it. POINT #1: Trying Too Hard Doesn’t Work * As Matt adapted to his role as stepdad, he was encountering some resistance from his stepson due to pressure from extended family members. He realized that being himself and not trying too hard was a great way to ease the tension. * Matt had a great role model in his mom’s partner, who Matt described as a man “who didn’t push himself on anyone.” * After the pressure was reduced, Matt found that he and his stepson could be friends. * Matt said that as his stepson gets

Are you having trouble hearing your inner voice? If so, slow down and take the time to meditate. We’ll discuss how all the chaos, confusion and information in your daily life can prevent you from hearing your inner voice. We’ll talk about how reconnecting with your inner voice can help you to understand what you want in life. Finally, we’ll talk about the importance of pushing through resistance to achieve maximum growth. POINT #1: Hearing Your Inner Voice is Key * You have an inner voice that is telling you the answers to problems in your life, but you must pay attention so you can hear it. * With so much information, confusion and chaos in your daily life, it can be hard to tune into your inner voice. * Hearing your inner voice helps you grow as a person and understand what you want in life. * If you are caught in constant mental chaos, you won’t be able to progress. POINT #2: Meditation

Are you leading your family from a domineering perspective, or are you leading by example? In every household, someone must lead the way—whether it’s you, your partner or the kids. We’ll discuss the difference between leading by example and being domineering and why it can be frustrating when other members of your family are moving slowly or aren’t yet ready for growth. Finally, we’ll talk about the benefits of leading the way and allowing your family to follow. POINT #1: Someone Must Lead the Way * In every household, someone must lead the way—whether it is you, your partner or the kids. * Leadership roles can shift between different family members at different times. * When you are leading and other family members are lagging, it can be frustrating. POINT #2: Leading is Different Than Dominating * Truly leading comes from being the example and not expecting anything in return.

Comparing yourself to others is a natural tendency that allows you to measure where you are in a specific area of your life. However, comparison does not encourage production. We’ll discuss how production comes from within as you challenge and compete against yourself. Finally, we’ll talk about the importance of setting targets and connecting with your “why” to give you powerful motivation to produce. POINT #1: Comparison and Competition Do Not Create Production * It is normal to compare yourself to others to see where you are in a specific area of your life. * Comparison with others does not allow you to produce results within yourself. * Although competition against others may give you an edge, it doesn’t actually produce results. * Production comes from within and occurs when you are challenging and competing with yourself. POINT #2: Production is Your Responsibility * W

If you improve as a stepdad, your kids will benefit—and that’s the mission of Stepdad Success. We’ll discuss the value of passing down your wisdom to help your kids learn how to live a better life. Finally, we’ll talk about how sharing the Stepdad Success message with other stepdads will help to raise an entire generation of leaders. POINT #1: Improve for Your Kids * If you improve as a stepdad, your kids will reap the rewards. * If children have a negative role model or no role model at all, they will not be set up well for adulthood. * Having a positive role model helps kids to learn positive behaviors that stay with them throughout their lives. POINT #2: Your Kids Are the Future * Even though your stepkids aren’t your biological children, you should treat them as though they are. * You need to form a bond with your stepkids that goes beyond everyday transactional interac

As a stepdad of three children, Grant Belcher of the Sunshine Coast in Australia knew that his role was to show his kids the possibilities for their lives. He’ll discuss how his kids reacted to him becoming their stepdad and his philosophy of treating his stepkids as his own. He’ll talk about how he developed an emotional connection to his kids and learned to put their needs first. Finally, Grant will talk about the benefits of helping his kids to better understand themselves and showing them different “models” for how to live. POINT #1: Establish a Friendship * Grant owns and operates several aquatic centers on the Sunshine Coast of Australia and met his wife while coaching her kids in swimming. * When Grant and his future wife were dating, they waited several months to tell her children that they were involved. * Although the kids were very excited about the relationship and Grant loved them as his own, Grant ma

Everyone experiences challenges now and then, but effectively dealing with these “storms” is key to achieving your goals. We’ll discuss the negative impact of stopping and waiting for a storm to come—or creating a storm of your own. Finally, we’ll talk about the importance of preventing storms from dragging you off course and staying focused on the blue skies ahead. POINT #1: Don’t Create Your Own Storms * When things are going well in your life, it can be tempting to stop moving forward while you wait for a storm to come. * Although occasional storms are an inevitable part of life, negative thoughts and behaviors will cause storms to blow in more frequently. * Negativity can lead you to creating your own storms. POINT #2: Storms Affect All Areas of Life * In Body, storms may show up as disease, injury and sickness. * In Being, storms may show up as a poor spiritual connect

Have you ever gotten stuck in a difficult situation because you forgot to ask a simple question? It happens to everyone, especially when dealing with busy schedules and competing priorities. We’ll discuss how asking simple questions can help you to avoid problems and improve your life. Finally, we’ll talk about how avoiding complexity and focusing on simplicity can help you to expand. POINT #1: Asking Simple Questions Can Help You Avoid Problems * It’s normal to want to take control in your life, but you must be sure you are asking simple questions—especially when your actions affect others. * Before booking a family trip, for example, a simple question would be to ask your family if they want to go to the chosen destination and if your proposed date suits them. * In this example, taking the time to ask a simple question would save you from making a costly mistake or having a tension-filled trip. PO

Being the example is a foundational principle in life— and although many people try to make themselves look good, few do the work required to be good. We’ll discuss what it means to be the example for your kids and why modeling positive behaviors is so important. Finally, we’ll talk about how you can be the example in every area of your life and pass good actions and words to your kids. POINT #1: Leadership Means Being the Example * To be a leader, you must be the example you want others to follow. * Being the example means constantly learning and refining your skills, having a great attitude about life and always moving forward. POINT #2: Your Kids Need You to Be the Example * Your kids are always watching and (like it or not) they will do what you do and say what you say. * Your kids learn from your positive and negative behaviors. * As a stepdad, it is your job to be the

When you talk to your children, are they really hearing you and understanding your message? Or, are they just listening? We’ll discuss why speaking to children can be challenging and what you can do to make sure they are understanding what you’re saying. We’ll also talk about how asking questions can help you to ensure that you and your children are on the same page. POINT #1: Communication Gaps Create Challenges when Speaking to Kids * Because you are older than your kids, you have a larger vocabulary and more refined language skills. * Sometimes, adults naturally use words and phrases that children don’t understand. * If you don’t stop to explain things to your children, this language and vocabulary gap will cause your children to listen without truly understanding you. POINT #2: Kids Need to Understand the Lesson * If your kids are just listening and not hearing, they will miss t

Life is always changing, and Luke Perisin, a stepdad of one and a father of one from southern California, learned to adapt. He’ll discuss how he adjusted his plans and goals after meeting his wife and becoming a dad. After years of being a “lifelong bachelor,” Luke also learned to adopt a different attitude to help him relate better to his wife and children. Finally, Luke will talk about how striving for patience and calm helped him to become a better father and husband. POINT #1: You Must Adapt Your Plans to Life Changes * Luke has worked as an emergency services professional for 25 years and is also a musician/actor/writer. * He had a goal of working in labor management and collective bargaining for the actors’ union after his retirement. However, after meeting his wife and stepson and having a child of his own, his needed a new plan. * Because Luke is a proactive and aggressive person, it was a shock to be in a

If you’re like most people, you have a ton of responsibilities. And guess what? It’s OK—and even beneficial—to spoil yourself. We’ll discuss how scheduling time and allowing yourself to indulge creates self-worth. Finally, we’ll talk about how shifting your perspective can help you overcome perceived financial limitations and time constraints that may be causing you to deny yourself. POINT #1: Sometimes You Have to Spoil Yourself * It’s important to schedule time to allow yourself to indulge in activities you enjoy. * When you hold back and deny yourself enjoyment, you are living in scarcity mode. * Giving yourself the things that you desire reinforces self-worth. POINT #2: Ask Better Questions So You Can Say “Yes” to Yourself * If you can’t afford to spend time or money on yourself, you need to make changes. * Instead of saying, “I can’t afford that,” you need to say, “How

The news and entertainment content you consume can affect your mindset, values and interactions with others. We’ll discuss the impact of negative content and how positive content can inspire and motivate you. Finally, we’ll talk about how you can choose the content that is right for you and your family. POINT #1: Most News Content is Negative * As a society, we’re trained to react to bad news and news outlets take advantage of that by reporting negative news to make more money. * Some news content includes “propaganda” that can promote negative values and program your response to life events and family. POINT #2: You Need to Look at Your Content-Consumption Habits * It is important for you to understand how you and your family are consuming and reacting to content, especially news. * It is not healthy or productive for you and your family to be consuming negative content all the tim

Are you expanding and growing across all areas of your life? We’ll discuss how a scarcity mindset can apply to more than just your finances and create limitations for you. Finally, we’ll talk about living in abundance, stretching your thinking and imagining what’s possible. POINT #1: Scarcity Mindset Affects More Than Finances * Scarcity mindset is about more than just your finances; it can affect your Body, Being, Balance and Business, too. * Having a scarcity mindset creates limitations. * To create abundance across all areas of your life, you need to be able to imagine what’s possible. POINT #2: Abundance Means Stretching, Not Stagnating * Living in abundance means stretching your thinking, which will drag you into a better life. * Living The Warrior’s Way is about expanding across all areas of your life, not just becoming comfortable. * You need to be willing t

If you want to live an abundant life, you need to take care of your financial “numbers” and make sure you are on the profit side. We’ll discuss how managing debt creates scarcity, while managing profit creates abundance. Finally, we’ll talk about the importance of investing in yourself and teaching positive money habits to your kids. POINT #1: Managing Debt Creates Scarcity and Managing Profit Creates Abundance * Managing debt creates a scarcity mentality, so it is critical that you look at your personal and business finances, understand your income/expenses, and make sure you are managing profit. * When you are managing profit, you create abundance. * Abundance will bring confidence, certainty and courage to your life. * It doesn’t matter how much profit you have ($100, $1,000 or $10,000), as long as you have some. POINT #2: Some Profit Should Be Reinvested in You * You cr

Does your family stand for something? Jeff Casebier, a stepdad of two and a father of three from southern California, will discuss how he and his wife intentionally set their family on a positive path by establishing core values for their household. He’ll discuss his relationship to his stepkids and how his biological children adjusted to their new siblings. Finally, Jeff will talk about his ongoing commitment to self-improvement and how it has helped him to build a strong blended family. POINT #1: Your Family Can Stand for Something * When Jeff and his wife decided to get married, they recognized a unique opportunity to set the tone for their blended family and their relationship by leaving the past behind them. * Jeff said that from Day 1, he and his wife made sure they were on the same page about household values and how they wanted to raise their family. * Jeff and his wife wanted their family to “stand for so

When you’re feeling depressed, it can be difficult to snap yourself out of it—especially when you don’t feel like doing anything. We’ll discuss how moving your body and working up a sweat doing something that you enjoy can help to shift your energy. Finally, we’ll talk about the importance of assessing how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way so you can develop strategies to manage depression in the future. POINT #1: Everyone Feels Depressed Sometimes * It’s normal to be in a bad mood and feel like you don’t want to do anything from time to time, especially after certain events trigger feelings of anger or frustration. * Depression can slow you down and halt your productivity. * When this happens, it is important to snap yourself back into a good frame of mind as quickly as possible. POINT #2: You Have the Tools to Combat Depression * Your daily actions provide you with

What does it mean to live a 4-Dimensional life? We’ll discuss the 4-Dimensional Man training and how it can help you to expand across Body, Being, Balance and Business. We’ll discuss why most men only excel in one or two areas of their lives and what it means to be a 4-Dimensional Man. Finally, we’ll talk about how doing the work required in the 4-Dimensional Man training can help you achieve your goals faster. POINT #1: There’s a Reason Why Most Men Excel in Only One or Two Areas of Life * If you’re like most men, you are probably only successful in one or two areas across Body, Being, Balance and Business. * A hundred years ago, boys were taught how to be 4-Dimensional Men by their fathers while performing physical work (Body) on the farm (Business), interacting as a family unit (Balance) and worshiping as a family (Being). * During the industrial age when men went to work in factories and boys started to be rai

Mastery requires more dedication and focus than simply consuming information. We’ll discuss how mastery is about implementing and summarizing what you learn and teaching other people. Finally, we’ll talk about how mastery can lead to success and allow you to be much more effective when implementing what you learned. POINT #1: Consuming Information Doesn’t Equal Mastery * People who read lots of books and consume other content often are just turning the pages without mastering the content. * If you can’t explain or summarize the content and teach it to someone else, you haven’t mastered it. * Mastery happens through journaling, implementing, summarizing and teaching content. POINT #2: Mastery Takes Effort * To truly master something, you must do the work required to understand and implement it. * Depending on the subject, mastery may require you to ask questions, think about

Everyone has pressure in their life, but where does it come from? How do you manage it? We’ll discuss how meditation can help you when you’re feeling antsy and frustrated and keep you from turning to drugs, alcohol or pills to find relief. Finally, we’ll talk about how meditation can help you walk through decisions and bring peace of mind. POINT #1: Everyone Deals with Pressure * Everyone is under different types of pressure; pressure can come from a variety of sources including work and family. * Whether pressure is major or minor, it still can test you and make you feel antsy and frustrated inside. * You must learn to overcome pressure at all levels. POINT #2: There Are Tools to Help You Overcome Pressure * Kingdom software is available as part of the 4-Dimensional Man training and includes a program called “The Stack,” which provides 22 questions that you can ask yourself to chal

Rick Blackburn, a stepdad of two from San Antonio, Texas, will discuss how he made positive changes in his life after overcoming his drug and alcohol problems and serving time in prison. He’ll discuss how he rebuilt his life, started a business, married his wife and adjusted to being a stepdad. Finally, Rick will talk about his ongoing commitment to his kids and how he developed a connection with them by focusing on fun and love. POINT #1: It’s Never Too Late to Change Your Life * Rick grew up in a military family and moved around a lot as a child. He said that he was not especially close with his siblings, but had tremendous love and respect for his family. * Rick struggled with feelings of inferiority, confusion and inner turmoil as an adolescent. Because he was unprepared to manage these feelings on his own, he said he discovered drugs and alcohol at an early age. * Rick said he used alcohol and drugs to fit in

Mental toughness, that's an area you should be constantly practicing. So today we’ll discuss how mental challenges can be linked to other goals in your life, such as physical or business goals. Finally, we’ll talk about how completing little challenges each day helps you build mental strength and resilience to handle larger challenges. POINT #1: You Can Never Have Enough Mental Toughness * Mental toughness creates strength and resilience that you need to meet your goals and overcome obstacles. * By testing your mind, you can create expansion across all areas of life (Body, Being, Balance and Business). * You can combine mental training with physical or business challenges to boost results across several areas of your life at the same time. POINT #2: Daily Action Builds Mental Strength * Knowing that you must complete a difficult task every day will challenge your mental toughness.

Overcoming those obstacles that stand between you and your focus is theme of today's episode. We’ll discuss how free time can cause mental chaos that leads to a lack of clarity and how it is important to have a plan for your free time. Finally, we’ll talk about the benefits of scheduling enjoyable activities during your free time. POINT #1: Free Time Can Cause Chaos * If you find yourself with free time, you may become overwhelmed with all the options of things to do. * Free time can lead to chaos in your mind and cause you to lose focus. * Although everyone claims to want more free time, it often can cause problems because most people are addicted to being busy. POINT #2: Structure Your Free Time * When deciding how to manage your free time, it is critical that you have a plan for what you would like to do. * Chaos comes up when you don’t have a plan for your free time.

The theme of our discussion today is discipline—a topic that is always on the agenda for stepdads. We’ll discuss how some discipline can be damaging and how you can take other approaches to impart important lessons without violence, aggression or anger. Finally, we’ll talk about how it is possible to incorporate an element of fun while disciplining your kids. POINT #1: Everyone Handles Discipline Differently * Some people find discipline easy and seem to know exactly what works for their children, but others struggle to find an effective approach. * Hitting and yelling can cause damage to children. It is possible to discipline without anger, aggression or violence. * Often, how you discipline your kids depends on how you were disciplined by your parents. POINT #2: You Can Introduce an Element of Fun into Discipline * Discipline teaches lessons and provides consequences for things th