The 365 Project

Well folks, I’ve met the storage capacity maximum for this site (and just at the halfway point)! The saga continues to its completion at http://songjournal2.podomatic.com/ so please take a minute to update your bookmarks and subscriptions. The first entry at the new location will be Tuesday, Oct 23 and this site will remain up as an archive of the project to this point. My deepest thanks for everyone who’s been following along and for those curious enough to drop in. See you on the other side! Eric

i’ll live a month of sundays all in one day if only i could make them them go away the tea kettle mousetrap reflection tool doesn’t work as planned and the sun sets as quickly as it rises no holy ghost building no pilgrim stranger or salvation premium the band doesn’t even attempt to tune before they begin the sad waltz for monday nor do i dance no holy ghost building no pilgrim stranger or salvation premium bhagiti 10.22.07 perrysburg, oh

goodbyes and leavings beginnings middles and ends there’s no place to stay no place to stay the machine moves with or without me sometimes i’m on sometimes i want off a puzzle piece turned upside down doesn’t fit unless the rest of the world is too if the world is upside down then i’m face up bhagiti 10.21.07 perrysburg, oh

wide open spaces enclosed in a moment all that meant anything surrounded by so much detail and pointlessness was you and then we crossed the divide together it was the only thing that mattered not the elevator bread nor the hopeless microfine lines they drew when we crossed the divide together bhagiti 10.20.07 perrysburg, oh

it was all desks and beds dark from the lamps and faulty wiring and doors leading nowhere and natalie disappeared into the ductwork of a new old house we never knew another old house devours us another old house swallows us whole so i bought a tiny japanese man he was on the lam to find her he disappeared in there too another old house devours us another old house swallows us whole bhagiti 10.19.07 perrysburg, oh

take a picture it lasts longer it’s a thousand misunderstood words but it holds no candle to a thousand incarnations of a rose take your comic book x-ray specs and tell me can you see my secret desire my longest day my dream of the eternal return or just the pixel myth of the last day take a picture it lasts longer take a picture it lasts longer bhagiti 10.18.07 perrysburg, oh

there are roads and there are roads no matter which ones you take you always end up in the same place we can run headlong into heather birds and bees escaping into dry leaves clinging to sweaters all the same choosing’s a game win or lose choosing’s a game win or lose spin the big wheel and watch yourself roll off the tracks bells and whistles look best with party hats and shame choosing’s a game win or lose choosing’s a game win or lose bhagiti 10.17.07 perrysburg, oh

in these empty passenger cars with no engine to pull them we can live out here in the cold pile everything around us and make a go we’ll pretend to be buried alive though this coffin is too small and whoever digs us up will be our forever and in the cold we’ll make a go will it be you first or me another blanket please will it be you first or me another blanket please and when they come looking for us i’ll try hard not to laugh as they poke their way through blankets and phony coffins looking for their lo and behold will it be you first or me another blanket please will it be you first or me another blanket please bhagiti 10.16.07 perrysburg, oh

i'm ok bhagiti 10.15.07 perrysburg, oh

the leaves know nothing of a mile the dirt underneath can’t see the stars sometimes you have to be dead before you can be born again frost on the pumpkin says it’s time ice and mist leaks from the sky sometimes you have to be dead before you can be born again at the gate what’s your name i said what’s your name (nobody) sometimes you have to be dead before you can be born again bhagit 10.14.07 perrysburg, oh

we knew the mask you wore to hide from yourself didn’t cover the words you tore up and swept under the rug words piled high into a balcony from which lovers spurned or otherwise fling themselves into senselessness you can get yourself some time or a rope but time is longer than rope and we all knew the mask was better than the cranberries and salamanders you were so close to becoming you can get yourself some time or a rope but time is longer than rope bhagiti 10.13.07 perrysburg, oh

it was always the thinnest of thin ice spiderwebbing through your veins like lost highways no longer making the trip home afraid of what you thought you’d find there and at camp like canoes we slept overturned our oars in our fishbaskets afraid to laugh and you never did and i knew you couldn’t and that you didn’t care for the moon and neither could i but i did and neither could i but i did and later in january when the ground was as cold as you could take it you pulled me outside and pulled everything off and didn’t shiver one bit and forced yourself to smile but you couldn’t make it last and neither could i but i did and neither could i but i did and i knew you wouldn’t have it any other way and i knew you wouldn’t have it any other way any other way any other way bhagiti 10.12.07 perrysburg, oh

sleep comes always just before the alarm through the night trains scream and i want them to take me away or run me over the cold through the window is finally real this time and the bed that wouldn’t let me sleep now won’t let me go but i do when does it all stop when will it be quiet again pull the plug pull the plug i will daydream my return in blankets sitting in the middle of the autumn woods covered in leaves and twigs warm and content when does it all stop when will it be quiet again pull the plug pull the plug bhagiti 10.11.07 perrysburg, oh

the high altitude jet plane reimagining cumulous with straightedge vapor trails is a phantom whose presence is unclear i suppose that everyone who has fallen to earth regretted in an instant believing in a phantom whose presence is unclear leave it to the birds leave it to the birds i’m happy sticking to the ground firmly attached by forces beyond my control believing in a phantom whose power is clear leave it to the birds leave it to the birds bhagiti 10.10.07 perrysburg

gliding gliding hypnotized penny for your thoughts how much to keep them to yourself make me guess what broken bread can’t be fixed again what fish eaten can’t swim again what wine can’t return to the vine meanwhile night peeks through blinds and my light sneaks back though neither have eyes needing blinding instead a threshold between life and living or knowing and not gliding gliding hypnotized america a main drag that isn’t a cowboy that’s neither a continental divide that doesn’t a jacket that smells of leaves and leaving and in the breastpocket a notebook that reads itself bhagiti 10.9.07 perrysburg, oh

ohio stretches like a lie toward the plains and promises of the west to the sleepy south below the cool green east and the endless forests of the north roads lead in or away roads lead in or away ohio is a heart that no longer beats kept alive by trains pumping its crisscrossing veins and sad eyed summer slaves to the catsup trade roads lead in or away roads lead in or away ohio dead or dying no arrow filled sebastian merely an unavoidable swamp that continuously tries to refill itself with the muck long removed roads lead in or away roads lead in or away bhagiti 10.8.07 perrysburg, oh

the sky is as black as a crow and as beautiful my belly full of grapes makes no complaint and the cool humidity of morning struggles between the death of summer and the birth of death it caresses me seduces me kisses me licking my face as if to say take me now for tomorrow we are gone bhagiti 10.7.07 perrysburg, oh

i stand in the middle of ten thousand streets all at once and everywhere they lead is nowhere each screaming in concrete seducing with slick rainsoaked curves but each a dead end none to salvation nor even to acceptable ruin ten thousand streets all at once everywhere a spiderweb traffic jam of industrial strength chaos linear asphalt beauty a din of scrape and roar all leading to madness madness of desire madness of restlessness madness of choice madness of singularity madness of loss madness of responsibility madness of hope madness of hopelessness bhagiti 10.6.07 perrysburg, oh

morning makes no compromises it reveals to us the actions of the night and hides the moon in its light everything before is meaningless everything before is everything which side are you on we are not morning like prospectors without pans we wade in murky water that hides untold riches everything before is meaningless everything before is everything which side are you on tripping over pebbles and god we stumble toward nothing when everything is directly below everything before is meaningless everything before is everything which side are you on bhagiti 10.5.07 perrysburg, oh

i went to the station no suitcase in my hand and there an old man you leavin or stayin i’m re-parting remaining and departing at the same time that is i’m here but never here so there i sat on the platform watching the trains come and go people’s faces staring out at other possible realities each better than their own that is they’re here but never here bhagiti 10.4.07 perryburg, oh

outside now we are all seated around a large round piano we each have the notes that are ours we begin playing each after the other and it is strange beautiful music before it begins to rain out of the night endlessly twisting i lay dreaming the piano fills with water soon goldfish appear flickering in the dark water born from the music jay closes the lid and folds everything up until it’s gone water fish and all before it stops raining out of the night endlessly twisting i lay dreaming bhagiti 10.3.07 perrysburg, oh

my barn is full of stars pitched up high with blankets of blue and green glowing strange sequins and when it’s cold i see my breath and in the breath-dust are spelled out the words i can’t seem to say letters spill out like a vaporized soup backlit by the barn-glow that the neighbors know isn’t quite right but later at night i return to the blue blankets awash in the radiance of my celestial secrets each within five points of right removed from their seas of night there with me burning into me dreams of olden days and days yet still to be seen the light is bright and i have lost sight of all that isn’t night and the pretend joy of all i ever wanted to be and see is there forever shielded by universal dreams never meant to be or be seen by the likes of me and here everything is everything seen and unseen bhagiti 10.2.07 perrysburg, oh

hey now stop cowering under barley rows and hiding in the rye no escaping into wheat and corn leave that for the birds the mind’s pastures harvested soon will sleep for the moon will too plump again for the last time and leave you to the birds as the husks dry the worm reminds that fruit is sweetest before it dies as kids my brother and i ran barefoot through the corn unafraid of what the crow had known and left us to the birds hey now stop cowering under barley rows and hiding in the rye no escaping into wheat and corn leave that for the birds as the husks dry the worm reminds that fruit is sweetest before it dies bhagiti 10.1.07 perrysburg, oh

got to get this all together and reconcile the pines with the silver the damp with the wet and the sand with the secrets of the soul in a st. vitus dance like a bonfire taunting all the ghosts of the forest while the flames flicker and the stars shimmer before turning away what way what way what penelope would wait and for how long the birds at the window ruffle their sad feathers waiting for seeds to grow more flittering bellies to rule the trees and windowsills the compass won’t stop spinning nothing looks the same anymore the moon never stops laughing and paper boats will only get you so far what way what way what penelope would wait and for how long bhagiti 9.30. 07 perrysburg, oh

i am not one to take to the road i listen to the trees and stare at the moon wondering how far is far it rains in spirals inside my head the hissing always in my ears reminding me to keep the windows open let it in let it out let it in let it out as leaves leap like lovers and fools and night regains control over the glass i will take it head-on the fish eagle cannot swim nor can the flying fish fly but we all know truth is somewhere in between let it in let it out let it in let it out bhagiti 9.29.07 perrysburg, oh

what’s your favorite anything does it have to do with dime turn decisions or the way telephones make the tormenting stop once in a minute i dreamt every dream i ever had vivid as life and i drank them in cool and slow so they wouldn’t stop tie a bell around your neck let everybody know you’re there let’s erase constellations and make ‘em up new this light is long dead before we were born our light soon will sometime stop like some crazy lunatic who would shoot me just to see me try there has got to be a better way to make it stop tie a bell around your neck let everybody know you’re there bhagiti 9.28.07 perrysburg, oh

what dustspeck floating by teeming with tiny mystery was your disappearing act where did everyone go where did everyone go your headsup penny was one of the best stuck full of wisdom and lucky magic i know you know I know i know you know I know hope hangs like a wish on a string under daisies ripe with pollen and tears listen, i can’t look away listen, i can’t look away bhagiti 9.27.07 perrysburg, oh

the tree outside squeaking heavy with tiny hollow-boned birds weightless brown puffs of seeded white bellies behind them the dusky sky before the curtain is pulled back illuminating the deception of old gods constellations pinprick white lights waiting for some kid to shoot ‘em out you know how it goes your petals drop though your feet are deep in the dirt like daisies pushing up through the rainy day sidewalk in kid’s colored chalk the lobster sings when he hits the pan he takes it like a man the cook faces the music as the glass pinches the sand time is time make up your mind time is time make up your mind when it gets down to it no matter how many times venus crosses the sky our eyes refuse to believe she’s anything but a star lost missing her arms a cool pale violet diamond hung ‘round the neck of a moon she can’t embrace what a waste all the world’s lovers can’t escape the treason of dreams in the great lottery we’ve won a prize we all die but we get a little slice of heavenly pie cut six-point-five billion times all in one bite and you smile then forever in your stomach it glows to remind you that time won’t bind you and the three vultures still eye you with delicious suspicions that there is time is time make up your mind time is time make up your mind bhagiti 9.26.07 perrysburg, oh

i have bathed in the stream of consciousness under the featherbed pillows of reason and rhyme the dust under boxcars makes me sad like how the purple summer sun sometimes seems all alone it all means something doesn’t it it’s all nothing isn’t it staring back at me like a religion of photographs torn from a stranger’s journal or breastpocket an alchemist’s crucible the gloomy vessel of powdery failed attempts at dreaming in gold it all means something doesn’t it it’s all nothing isn’t it pound grommets into anvils of soap and birdfeathers string them with gossamer thread garments of hope it all means something doesn’t it it’s all nothing isn’t it bhagiti 9.25.07 perrysburg, oh

what four questions would i ask that i haven’t asked already i know the answers won’t come it’s ok the barn doors are open and the horses are long gone they won’t return again it’s ok this must be the place this must be the place my slow boat to china has just come in what i wouldn’t give i long to see japan i dream of underwater seaweed it’s ok this must be the place this must be the place my slow boat to china has just come in bhagiti 9.24.07 perrysburg, oh

time winds through the by and by one moment is all it takes and running through it a single shiny thread of liquid silver but that’s not what the thief wants the root of the root is obscure pull the blinds pull the blinds the worm knows both the apple and the heart both sweet with desire inside a forest silence and flight fight for impossibility alone pull the blinds pull the blinds bhagiti 9.23.07 perrysburg, oh

a piano wrapped around a room it will only play one tune it will have to do it will have to do a birdcage big enough for two but mine only knows one tune it will have to do it will have to do if there was only one song would it need to be sung would we secretly dream up the rest and keep them hidden inside like sidewalk pennies and good luck charms one year wrapped around me like a shroud tune after tune it will have to do it will have to do bhagiti 9.22.07 perrysburgh, oh

i’m going to press this song up against the wall and in no uncertain terms i’m going to have my way with you i’ve had it with you let me love you stop resisting you know we’re halfway through i’m going to have my way with you let me take you to evergreen pines trampled leaves under toe tucked inside wool blankets under snow or slip past the undersea green weeds i don’t ask for much in return just give up your silver threaded pearls of impulse i’m going to have my way with you bhagiti 9.21.2007 perrysburg, oh

yesterday i saw a leaf leap from a tree it just let go an arc of awkward freedom and instead of falling it lifted up and out of sight stand on a chair lift your hands high it is never enough like slipping through pale mist the kiss of cold against skin every button undone down to the last one down down down down when you’re ready to leap let go crop circle geometry will be your guide you will glide awkwardly lifted up and out of sight stand on a chair lift your hands high it is never enough what mystery still remains what survives the reigns the harnessed desire that strains to reach inside and touch the dust of dreams stand on a chair lift your hands high it is never enough bhagiti 9.20.07 perrysburg, oh

i have forgotten why tell me again am i pushing this along or am i being dragged limply behind sometimes i want to pretend each day doesn’t matter can the angel-fueled furnace churning the words burning in turns bake my blackbird pie will the rope that keeps me tied to the back of this bakery delivery truck cease to exist besides what’s so easy about sugar fruit flour and heat bhagiti 9.19.07 perrysburg, oh

why is it like this why does the day kiss the light from satellites above what sleepybug journeyed eye can compromise what i have known all along that there is nothing but a heatseeking heart beating deep inside of me why can’t i hide this why do the birds miss the sigh from my eyes above what tatertot tasted kiss do i miss the most like the pale ghost who hangs from my bedpost a sad memory of how everything used to be you turn your leaves and greet the trees on hands and knees and wonder what kind of fool am i and wonder what kind of fool am i like riding a bicycle full speed into snowflakes obliterating across our faces geometric teary diamonds dissolving against the heat of our cheeks you turn your leaves and greet the trees on hands and knees and wonder what kind of fool am i and wonder what kind of fool am i and wonder what kind of fool am i bhagiti 9.18.07 perrysburg, oh

sometimes i float sometimes i sink in between there is weightlessness i am heavy with weightlessness it presses down on me like a hawk before the kill the moon begins to swell for the sixth time and the hawk clears the yard before weightless resistance lifts itself skyward i will turn a corner i will turn a corner bhagiti 9.20.07 perrysburg, oh

agile grace under four-corner street lamp humming light orange mystery cool in the chaos of shouts squealling tires in the din you ruled from the alley i will look for you always and again otherwise this city’s already dead and then i lost you under the wheels they destroyed your ginger symmetry sometimes the only thing that matters is what we will never understand i will look for you always and again otherwise this city’s already dead bhagiti 9.16.07 perrysburg, oh

i look over the edge and they’re all gone not a single scrap of paper to be seen eaten buried or retrieved this transmission is slowly weakening nothing’s lost that can be found everything is someplace like a squirrel who spends his life searching to find nothing’s lost nothing’s lost bhagiti 9.15.07 perrysburg, oh

i get so tired sometimes i want to disappear into it lose myself wrapped in the arms of morpheus forever tonight yes i said yes tonight i will give in very soon i will slip past the gate without fail tonight yes i said yes tonight bhagiti 9.14.07 perrysburg, oh

the blankets wouldn’t release me as i lay trying to go back to where i was minutes ago with the cold from the open window working its way into my failed attempt at dream recovery morning is a cruel killer of warm blanketed bliss a destroyer of dreams evaporating the gentle black of night and pressing the moon into submission night keeps its greatest secret during the day in hiding from the accusations of the sun bhagiti 9.13.07 perrysburg, oh

a round house in the middle of the old neighborhood and there i snapped music around my head before leaving you lived in a glass cube high in the trees hidden from others though exposed to me and to you i did climb always and again the same is never the same is never the same again and after we climbed out onto a limb dangling our feet over the black water underneath the moon and laughed always and again the same is never the same is never the same again bhagiti 9.12.07 perrysburg, oh

i awoke to the crispy cool of autumn in the air today it’s chill embraced me with its leaf mold caress as i lay sleeping dreaming a kiss fall the reverse resurrection i love you and your harvest moons and your chilly clarity but you are no lover you take but cannot ever give i will be here same time next year i will be here every day i will slip into you surrounded by increasing night and breathe deep your cool before we part again never having shared a single secret i will be here same time next year i will be here bhagiti 9.11.07 perrysburg, oh

peas in a pod what does it all mean the vines are long but have surely reached something tell me something anything tell me something anything last night a kitchen full of dying birds in cages we healed them with sunflower seeds tell me something anything tell me something anything everything quiet speaks again but we don’t always hear it doesn’t mean we’re not listening tell me something anything tell me something anything bhagiti 9.10.7 perrysburg, oh

my shoes in a dream and my feet in them in awful brackish water where i found indian drums and later a man tried to kill me for them i woke up again to rain already feeling the wet seeping in to my bones wondering what water means to me and if it figures in my death why water why do i never seem to escape love and death within your cool green and blue brine at once i breathe then die bhagiti 9.9.07 perrysburg, oh

nothing beats rain in the morning before the sun and bird worms here the bed a paradise of non-escape a warm refuge in diaphanous gossamer at one with lingering half dreams and the hissing against the leaves outside the moon that tormented me last week is gone now and the sky through my window drips dark as i make my way out of night to fight off the day bhagiti 9.8.07 perrysburg, oh

no full range bleary eyed evening moon hypnosis can make the morning snowglobe cry daybreak dreams everlast the longest haunting the rest of the day for two weeks here i’ve lingered each of these a cipher shouts and kissing nowhere running underwater flying clamshell mystery stuck between night and day a limbo of consciousness i can’t escape for two weeks here i’ve lingered each of these a cipher bhagiti 9.7.07 perrysburg, oh

i want to float i want gravity to lose its hold on me just a little i want to move with a little less resistance i used to dream i was invisible and that i could fly i would disappear and float away over the playground it sounds simple but there’s no comprehending this now invisibility is an impossibility but there’s still hope for light between the earth and the bottom of my feet it sounds simple but there’s no comprehending this bhagiti 9.6.07 perrysburg, oh

i once knew this girl and rain poured from her fingers but the only parade she ever touched was her own once i squeezed my finger to see if the water would come and just as i was about to stop i could only raise a drop some people have all the luck some people have all the luck when counting stones or stars you need to go by thirteens and sevens the logic of happiness has nothing to do with elevens the bridges crossed and powders lost are not for coming and going but for dandelions growing and fingers that weep some people have all the luck some people have all the luck bhagiti 9.5.07 perrysburg, oh

last night the moon waning from behind dappled backlit clouds directed my dreaming even so cruel arid moon i’ll still love you there i witnessed three deaths including my own each still heavy within me i am shaken even so cruel arid moon i’ll still love you tonight i will pull the curtains in tight to keep that light from seeping into my senseless sleeping even so cruel arid moon i’ll still love you bhagiti 9.4.07 perrysburg, oh

all the notes to myself the to-do’s and to-be’s the unpurchased groceries reminders and crazy ideas have all fallen from a bulletin board in limbo i tried to put it all back together but all i got was a paper version of me an effigy full of crazy ideas and unpurchased groceries lying legs akimbo life is a day job full of unheeded to-be’s and listless schemes and then we realize everything falls apart bhagiti 9.3.07 perrysburg, oh