The Crystal Chroniclers - the History of Final Fantasy

Let's get caught up! This is episode 7.5 in which Mark gets up to speed with the rest of the chaps in Final Fantasy 2. Just a short episode today, but episode 8 will drop Sunday. Love you, bye!

It's exactly ONE YEAR to the day since we dropped our pilot episode. To celebrate this auspicious anniversary, why not sit back and enjoy the outtakes from Season 2, Episode 7? They include… Adele Final Fantasy TCG Pauper Deck Building Clumsy Andy 1am DDT's Peccadilloes Guru Larry Always Funny Opera Omnia Bad taste Love you, bye!

A belated Season 2, Episode 7, in which your Crystal Chronicling Heroes soldier on without Mark... And the episode which Mark has had the most fun editing. A laugh a minute*, the boys cover the seventh segment of Final Fantasy II. *not guaranteed

Andy, Arti and Mark are joined by Mrs C (Mark's better half) for this week's outtakes. Mark, who edits these, was taken aback by how much more posh and knowledgable his wife sounds than him. Andy's wife Lacey giggles from the sidelines. This is, by far, the rudest episode we've put out so far. I blame the presence of women for making us show off. The discussion includes, but is not limited to: Richard's Nostrils Canada Mllkshakes Piss off, ghost! Mo' Cap A question about weird food (including Mrs C's science brain and a looooong rambling conversation) A question about tattoos (including diversions about hairy men and medical nakedness) Terrible impression of Jonathan Stuff that is WAY TOO LEWD to discuss here Mark doesn't understand how girl bits work Lightning in designer clothing Podcasting is an audio format ENJOY!

Season 2, Episode 6, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes struggle on against the stormy seas of podcasting without a rudder. In this analogy, the rudder is Richard. We did our best to stay on topic, though.

Both a reduced crew and a late upload… BUT Arti, Richard and Mark have fun discussing the Final Fantasy TCG. We cover: Arti's favourite card The evolution of Lightning Opus VI Spoilers: Firion, Guy, Yuna * Royal Wedding Interlude * Opus VI's new mechanic Title Series * School Curriculum Interlude * Regionals, Nationals and Cups * Pokémon Hacking Scandal Interlude * Cheaters Best of One Deck Consistency Psychology * The Quality of Mercy Outro *

As per usual, all the stuff that WASN'T FF-related from last week's show. Les Mis Spontaneous Squash Song No Intro ABBA Politics! Childhood cartoons, modern films and recent TV shows. And books too. Terry Crews seems lovely Nintendo Labo Play Online! More spontaneous singing Fave 5 Did you date my sister? I could come up with a clever name for this segment, but in all honestly it's all about Arti's impression of Andy. You Probably Get That A Lot (with apologies to TMBG) Enjoy!

Season 2, Episode 5, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes learn that not every segment can have Josef's wondrous story arc. ENJOY!

Last week's non-Final Fantasy stuff, with plenty of Final Fantasy (TCG) stuff... Deutschlandlied Final Fantasy Trading Card Game: Legends Ranked, Casual Formats Cold-Blooded Richard Final Fantasy Trading Card Game: Legends Ranked Stickler Marky takes a phone call: Pronunciation, Doki Doki Literature Club, School Days Anime, Jonathon Creek Final Fantasy Trading Card Game: SPICY BOIS, Competitive Play Crystal-Crystal Literature Club Focus On… Mugs that come with Easter Eggs Two nations separated by a common language Telephone Line, bored in Spain, TV MiB4 Jon's method of revealing a death… SMDH Gen X Hamster outwits Andy Wrong sketch entirely Final Fantasy II - a card for Hilda? Van Phlegm and Mondegreens Bolt Richard is a tired teddy, Andy's very badass, Mark enjoyed a massage ENJOY!

Season 2, Episode 4, in which Richard's choice of checkpoints… MWAH! Perfection! Poor, poor Josef... Enjoy!

Between last week's on-topic talk… Slave name My Hero Sh!tpost The Golden Age Codify your Mémés Chavs Rock Clock Grenalogy Dino Freddie The song from Shrek Arti's hair, or lack thereof Sound effects Arti remembers what he did Super! Papa John's Richard can rap Richard can name Pokémon Richard is hungry Blinkin' Po-Tay-To James May Arti's ultra-f*cked-up dream 3rd Bass We must question Arti's ability to count arms Dreadnaught control 40,000 cheaters The moral high-ground DFS Intolelerance Daylight Savings Still with the puppies… T-shirt Jaws All in all… Alexa Solo A Whiter Shade of Pale

Season 2, episode 3... in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes (sans Andy, alas) rekindle their enjoyment of the game. We love the Final Fantasies!

It's only a short one this week: it turns out we didn't have much to cut out last week! The Human GameFAQ Upcoming Video Games No FFTCG Boosters for ANYONE! Spoliers Card chat More spoilers Intro? Arti the Keyboard Warrior Nigerian Prince Final Fantasy VIII Division Intro? 2 Thong Stinkface Techical Difficulties Rappers We are the Plebs Community Saiyan Hair Evolution More Saiyan Business Armour Break time Is Eald'narche a guy? Cloud Promo card Andy's sex life Love Letter (with Mark's apologies to Nick Cave)

Welcome to the… Casual Chroniclers? Opus V, the fourth expansion for the Final Fantasy Trading Card Game, was release this week, so it's time for your Crystal Chronicling heroes to talk cards. We take a run through the Legend cards, discussing their relative qualities and how they might be used in future decks, with plenty of diversions along the way. We also take a glance at our favourite cards from the set so far. You'll have to excuse the sound quality slightly: we were opening and looking at cards throughout the episode so there's a fair bit of rustling. At least it's not on Skype though, eh? If you're looking to make decks then we recommend opening FFDecks.com in one window, and FFTCGMognet.com in another. Mognet for searching cards, FFDecks for building the deck.

What DIDN'T we include in last week's episode? All this... Cool Names and Knuckles Couldn't be gay :'( LYNCH not FINCHer Lick it good Thanks for the MEMEories Cilla Blank Lots of beans Wrestling Masturbation Dirty Captain Picard Golden Shower Lonely Meatballs ASDF Movies Mother's Day Andy Nintendon't Hello caller, you're on the air Coma Pact Spiel des Jahres Podcast ideas Dissidyuk, emirate? A very dry discourse on school meal funding Queen NSP Fried Foods Alternative Meeps Galeophobia Arte keeps his promo in his pocket Fat Bottomed (Bluegrass) Girls Enjoy!

Season 2, Episode 2, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes find that, perhaps, Final Fantasy 2 isn't _quite_ as much fun as first they thought... Here's a link to our Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB00V7LyWyPmVzmJliym7rg Mark's playthrough of this segment should be uploaded the day after this episode drops. ENJOY!

We diverged from the topic an awful lot on Season 2, Episode 1, Take 2... So check it out: Wham! Ice Dancing Jog On Digital Monsters (and Richard's Rice Pudding ASMR) Paul Scrivens Old Richard's Game Arsenic and Sadness Happy Days The Bowie Extension Square Enix wants your $$$ Readers World Book Day Deadly Boat Kirby Taylor Chewbacca Blood type Biting the frog Chewbacca update Marky was thinking of the film, “The Other Woman” and has no idea why he thought it was an SF show… Marky was thinking of Buffalo Gals, not Double Dutch, so this makes him 0 and 2 Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes Subway Kageyama and the Final Fantasy TCG Super Saiyan Hair (does Marky like manga and anime or not?!) Sexy New Zealander Geordie Vibrator Face Deep Fried Grrrr Gaslighting and Memes Breakfast at Bernie's Uptown Funk Enjoy!

Your Crystal Chronicling Heroes get it right the second time... and may have convinced themselves that this is a better game than Final Fantasy 1 after only an hour or so's play time.

On noes! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCplm4dOPeo

It seems we've been faaaaaaar more professional in the last couple of recording sessions and it's taken TWO episodes to make up this set of outtakes. So from the end of Season 1, and the beginning of Season 2 we bring you: Home Invasion Alcoholic Housemate The Playmat Fiasco Trenchcoat (the Fiasco continues…) Search History Enough of your excuses, Arti! (Fiasco III: The Nightmare Continues) The Legal Jedi 2 Playmat, 2 Fiasco A Round of the Claws Hi Guys! Nintendo Labo The DWP Dissolving a Body - Danny Dyer - Tide Pods - Hard Drugs Kodak Zombie Sandwich Cheater! After the ending… Prank backfire Getting Better Read between the lines One-Take Willy The Jersey Boys Charcoal, Condoms, and Socks Sportsball! Sex with the Welsh… Console Wars - Sponsors - No One Can Know Barbariccia's Skin Yet another joke falls flat What Mark does when he's bored (Our Mutual Friend) Enjoy!

Season 2, Episode 0, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes (now with Jon!) look back on Final Fantasy 1, and look forward to Final Fantasy 2! If you're looking to play along with us, the first segment will be: Start in Altair. Have a bit of a wander about, get equipment and spells. Learn how the keyword system works. Head North to Gatria town. Then further north, skirting closely by the lake, to the Kingdom of Finn. Meet Scott in Finn and collect his ring. Take the ring back to Princess Hilda, the leader of the Rebellion in Altair The segment ends when we gain Minwu as a party member and he gives us a canoe Enjoy!

The season finale! Your Crystal Chronicling heroes feel a huge sense of accomplishment at completing the first step in our journey through the Final Fantasy series.

All the outtakes and non-Final Fantasy 1 chat from last week including: Oversharing Knuckles/Norn Iron Pirate Radio Pottery Divas Mark isn't sure how ID theft works Grand Jason The Greater Good Dissidia NT Promo Cards Trading Card Science! The Zelda Randomiser The Cagnazzo Code Black Mirror Early Internet Cartoons Bouncy Barkeep AGDQFFIV Final Fantasy TCG Opus V and more… Dissidia NT Next week we FINISH FINAL FANTASY 1! It's going to be emotional.

Season 1, Episode 10, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes are so close to the end of the game they can taste it! We visit the Flying Fortress, our last stop on the way to the final dungeon...

26 weekly episodes in a row... and we've gone and stumbled! Long story short: Mark was far to sick to leave the house to record this week so he did a Let's Play of "Torneko no Daibouken: Fushigi no Dungeon" instead. Follow the link or head over to Youtube and look up The Crystal Chroniclers to watch! We'll back on mainline Final Fantasy 1 play through next week, promise! https://youtu.be/UC1VsB3bxLA

It's over 30 years since Final Fantasy first appeared so your Crystal Chronicling Heroes (INCLUDING JON!) discuss the high-points of the series' storied lineage. This episode will drop on New Year's Eve so we hope you all have a grand 2018. This episode was also recorded in a very crowded Fistful of Dice, so the background's a little noisier than usual.

We present a a Christmas Hamper of festive outtakes from last week's episode! Featuring… No more censorship*! Films What song? Arti goes fast! Love, Actually You're listening wrong! Forbidden words Bum tattoo More films I am Murloc Lessons in Love Dropping things OOH-AH-AH-AH-AH! Oompa Trump Copypasta The etymology of “naff” Phil Collins Horrible sex An entire website Favourite jokes 1989 *except when we REALLY overstep the mark.

Season 1, Episode 9, in which Christmas is all around us! We play through the Sunken Shrine and have a lot of laughs discussing our experiences.

Five top tips to improve YOUR Final Fantasy Tournament results!

This week we're joined by JON! FINALLY! Richard, alas, was able only to pop in for a few minutes. We attempted to discuss Opus IV of the Final Fantasy TCG. We managed it, but we did drift slightly at times. But if you're looking for a podcast that covers topics as diverse as… Bakers' Dozens Robot necrophilia So many doughnuts Christmas sex New hamsters Free food Dissidia RICHARD! Pingu Accents H2G2 Chuck Berry and Shaun Michaels The Pimp Hand Jon = Plasterer's Radio Jon and Arti try to explain to Mark how Final Fantasy TCG Tournament Scoring works. Good luck with that… Card games are like women The first ever FFTCG Opus Tournament Nando's Starter Kit Racist? No it's just the glasses Graded cards Misprints Cultural differences Favourite Opus IV cards Job systems Net-decking A box of Opus III Most disappointing Opus IV cards and Barenaked Ladies …then you're in luck!

Recorded as part of Episode 8, Andy takes us through the Earthgift Shrine and describes the strategy he used. We also discuss Tekken 7, Dissidia and the Final Fantasy TCG. ENJOY! Make sure to look up The Crystal Chroniclers on Facebook and TheCChroniclers on Twitter!

For some reason, Andy decided to try not to swear this week. He failed. On our way to Final Fantasy TCG discussion we meander through our own histories with trading card games, FFIV and Comrades, whether summons exist, Pokémon (cards AND RPGs), and Andy's Impenetrable Coin-Flip Theory (TM). While on-topic with FFTCG we look at our own histories with the game, the recent World Championship, favourite cards, new format ideas and everything in-between. Oh, and our first-ever Reddit question is answered. Enjoy!

Season 1, Episode 8, in which you Crystal Chronicling Heroes stay on topic for much of the episode. Incredible! We discuss the eighth part of our Final Fantasy 1 play-through.

Season 1, Episode 7, in which you Crystal Chronicling Heroes UPGRAYEDD in the seventh part of our Final Fantasy 1 playthrough. Plus! Lots of tangential chatter covering not just Final Fantasy, but Aliens, Walken, Flaming Candelabra (Candelabrums?) and much more!

We WERE going to cover the TCG… but instead we learned about fighting games from Arti! To make up for not covering segment 7 of Final Fantasy 1, and for lacking a very poorly Andy this week, we present a bumper-length episode! Thanks to friend of the podcast AJ for suggesting we discuss interests outside of Final Fantasy and thus giving us the inspiration for today's show. We discuss Arti's history of Fighting games in great detail along with: Les Mis MLP Anime on DVD The Marvel Cinematic Universe The Room A GUEST APPEARANCE by Mrs C! Coffee Town Spicy Pork Snack Light Curly Potato Snack Crisp Wars And at 1 Hour 42 Minutes: DISSIDIA followed by Final Fantasy TCG! (Yes, Final Fantasy content!) And much, much more!

FECC 3: The Sauntering Mark smashes some skeleton skulls, Arti wonders whether he can touch himself, and Andy fails to Elf. A fun round of Final Fantasy/Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition combat in which we learn how it all works.

Season 1, Episode 6, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes... discover that Mount Gulg really doesn't provide enough material to fill a full-length episode. Hence this week, the out takes are left in. It's an hour and a half of talking toot, Chichester Comic Con, Papa Shango, the Final Fantasy TCG and more, with a modicum of FFI talk sprinkled in.

All the bits from Episode 5 that weren't related to Final Fantasy, but were still fun. PLUS a song about Mark's Final Fantasy TCG deck and sleeves. Voices A Fancy Version of Metroid TV? Naked Attraction American “Comedy” Impenetrable TCG Rules (and Cosplay?) Andy's Leviathan Shower Songs I Predict Dead People Jamaican Me Crazy Argument There Isn't No Stopping Mahna Mahna Mike Myers is Doable FMA Culture What's Andy Counting..? Naughty Fountain The PG Era Some Eagles Where did Japanese Come From? British Outrage Metaformon Taz Tu speakez el foreign? I Got a Lincoln Continental and a Sunroof Cadillac Black Funk ALWAYS Happens Hareruya (Mono Fire) - a song about the Final Fantasy TCG

Season 1, Episode 5, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes have lots more fun than last time. Plus, a prank on Andy backfires in a fine way. And there's funk.

FECC 2: The Nightmare Continues. The episode where Mark is pleased he decided to hang on to the FECC recordings for times like these! In this episode we finish creating our characters. If you're waiting for part 5 of our Final Fantasy I playthrough, it's being recorded on Tuesday night. Enjoy!

In a departure from the usual release schedule, here's something... different. Enjoy!

All of the non-Final Fantasy talk from last week's episode. Includes such rare gems as: Race Lift Book ‘Em Dan-O Freestylers Marble mouth No. No. Nope. Belch Kingdoms = Good, Empires = Bad, Paris = Syndrome? They cancelled my cartoons Arti's coping skills “I p*ssed all over Eric's Dad's knowledge of Doctor Who” Pokémon or the cure for cancer Prima Donna No, that's the Princess Bride It WAS Back to the Future! Bears In a bag Breakfast notes Do it, Daddy! More syndrome Curiouser… …and curiouser… …and then less curious.

Season 1, Episode 4, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes realise that there are things worse than Vampires. We discuss the fourth segment of Final Fantasy 1. Spoiler warning: It's a proper slog!

All the chatter from Episode 3 that was not fit for a serious Final Fantasy podcast. Including... Pepsi Wind Gods Unbroadcastable Where do we go now? Bread Shaven He loves that animal Science, Politics, Statistics, Languages, Theory of Humour The “Meet-Cute” Gerbil Jesus Completely Sequitur Newton was MENTAL TV Meats Beyond FF Wind Cheap TP Dirty Phone Call

Season 1, Episode 3, in which your Crystal-Chronicling Heroes try to make fetch happen.

Tangential chat from last week's mainline episode, including: Babytalk Eric B for President Scary Terry We're not THAT good at music The Love Lobe TMBG Bob Ross Misophonia, not misophobia Just the tip The Booty Call Haute Cuisine Is it are? The Proto-Chav Chlamydia Mark was completely off-base Release Germans We

Season 1, Episode 2, in which your Crystal-Chronicling Heroes wander about, chat to some people, and win a ship.

Your Crystal Chronicling heroes ventured to A Fistful of Dice in Southsea to play in a Final Fantasy TCG tournament. Spoiler: none of us won. However, we did chat to plenty of the players and had an all-round excellent time.

All the stuff that wasn't fit to include in S01E01! Including... “Mr Positive” “This box smells like ass” “Pegg & Merchant” “Tip of the tongue, teeth and the lips” “What's that music?” “Intros are hard” “Andy's too busy to podcast” “Sexy basting” “It's a tarantula” “What's a weeb?” “Mrs C, Shakespeare, and Ice Cream” “Savings” “It's your own phone” “You can see his stripes but you know he's clean” “Recreation” “Careful aim” “Retro gaming” “Podcasting is an audio medium”

Episode 1, in which our crystal chronicling heroes are threatened with being pushed over. We discuss the opening sections of Final Fantasy 1.

Our pilot episode.