The Life She Wrote

In this episode Emily and her guest discuss not just what we deconstruct, but the things we hold on to when we leave—what we choose to keep and what we shed in hopes of finding healing and a catalyst for change. Her guest this week is Ryan Mulkowsky. Ryan (he/him) is a hospice chaplain and bereavement coordinator for a large hospice in the greater Atlanta, Georgia area. He is also a Grief Recovery Method Specialist with the Grief Recovery Institute. He has earned a bachelor and two masters degrees in the areas of religion, philosophy and divinity. He is a former pastor and has also talked extensively about his spiritual deconstruction and his eventual leaving the Christian faith. Ryan is also the host of the podcast Some Random Thoughts where he discusses a wide variety of social and cultural topics. Links From This Episode Find Ryan on social media: Twitter and Instagram @ryanmulkowsky Facebook @ryanmulkowskyofficial Ryan's website: ryanmulkowsky.com Ryan's podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Oh00qZSCbXGh5cGrPBSOK?si=4B8KIYjiR5m9TRxCpyvVAQ&dl_branch=1 The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Website: https://thelifeshewrote.com Credits: Original music by R. Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode Emily talks with exvangelical and former English professor from Azusa Pacific University, Scott Okamoto. Scott candidly shares his experience navigating life as one of the only Asian American faculty at a primarily white Christian university while also having “one foot out the door” spiritually, as he puts it. Join Emily and Scott as they discuss the struggle of living up to evangelical expectations and the beauty that's possible when we trust our gut find our truest selves buried under the rubble of deconstruction. Links From This Episode Scott's blog: rscottokamoto.com Scott on Twitter: https://twitter.com/RSokamoto The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Website: https://thelifeshewrote.com Credits: Original music by R. Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

This week Emily brings you another story of deconstruction, this time from Amy Snidow. Amy accidentally went viral on TikTok this summer after sharing a video about her marriage to an evangelical pastor that ended when she realized that maybe “pastor's wife” was not her highest calling after all. The process of deconstructing her religion and spirituality led to sharing her experiences on social media platforms. Her desire was to connect with a few others who may have also experienced similar pain. Amy's story has resonated with thousands, and it is simply because the story is far too common, but far too often disregarded, dismissed, internalized. Links From This Episode Guest: Amy Snidow TikTok https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRjAaJ8S/ The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Website: https://thelifeshewrote.com Credits: Original music by R. Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode, Emily listens to Dr. Laura Anderson tell her own story of growing up evangelical and finding her way out—to begin a career of helping others recover from the same trauma she herself experienced. They also discuss the complexities of religious trauma and why it's so important to seek the help you need. Laura is a licensed psychotherapist in Nashville, TN and co-founder of the Religious Trauma Institute; which is dedicated to educating others in the health care field and help professions on the impact of religious trauma and adverse religious experiences. She's also founded The Center for Trauma Resolution & Recovery, an online coaching practice helping people recover from varying forms of trauma, including religious trauma. Links From This Episode www.lauraandersontherapy.com and on Instagram @drlauraeanderson Center for Trauma Resolution and Recovery @traumaresolutionandrecovery (Facebook/IG) www.traumaresolutionandrecovery.com Religious Trauma Institute @religioustraumainstitute (Facebook/IG) @religioustrauma (Twitter) www.religioustraumainstitute.com The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Website: https://thelifeshewrote.com Credits: Original music by R. Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode Emily talks to religion journalist and ex-evangelical Chrissy Stroop about the many facets of Christian Nationalism and why it's so important to keep fighting for democracy in the United States. From Rushdoony to Russia, they discuss the many influences on the Christian Right and how ignoring them for too long is how we got here. For more on Chrissy and her work, including the articles and books mentioned in the show, see the links below. Guest: Chrissy Stroop, PhD., Senior Correspondent for Religion Dispatches Links From This Episode Find Chrissy on Twitter, on her website, or read her work linked below: https://flux.community/index.php/chrissy-stroop/2021/05/leaving-christianity-religion-repression-desire https://religiondispatches.org/christian-right-claims-to-be-above-politics-are-bogus/ https://cstroop.com/2018/06/14/escape-from-jesus-land-on-recognizing-evangelical-abuse-and-finding-the-strength-to-reject-the-faith-of-our-fathers/ Books from this episode: Building God's Kingdom by Julie J. Ingersoll Empty the Pews: Stories of Leaving the Church edited by Chrissy Stroop & Lauren O'Neal Other links from this episode: https://religiondispatches.org/ https://flux.community/ The Life She Wrote: Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Website: https://thelifeshewrote.com Credits: Original music by R. Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In the first episode of her second season, Emily talks to communication professor and author Seth Pierce. In addition to holding a PhD in communication and teaching at Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska—Seth is a former pastor who recently published a book called Seeking an Understanding: How to Have Difficult Conversations Without Destroying Your Relationships. In this episode, the professor offers candid advice from his book—and personal experiences—on how to have those hard conversations when our own beliefs change, but other people's do not. Especially when those other people are our family and friends. Links From This Episode Guest: Dr. Seth Pierce, PhD. Find Seth on social media: Twitter Instagram Seth's book: Seeking an Understanding: How to Have Difficult Conversations Without Destroying Your Relationships Other books Seth mentioned: It's Not Your Turn by Heather Thompson Day (You can follow Heather on Twitter here) The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Website: https://thelifeshewrote.com Credits: Original music by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode, Emily has a conversation with ex-evangelical and mental health advocate Aaron Smith. Aaron speaks candidly about living with Bipolar II unknowingly until his late 20's, partially due to his life in ministry in charismatic evangelical churches. In addition to writing for his own website, culturalsavage.com, his work has been featured on several websites and published anthologies. Aaron is currently a religious studies major at Oregon State University—making his home in the Pacific Northwest with his wife and two kids. You can find him on the web and social media at all the links below. Links From This Episode Aaron Smith online: culturalsavage.com and on social media: Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Aaron's [faith-based] book recommendations for the newly deconstructing: Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning My Bright Abyss: Meditation of a Modern Believer by Christian Wiman The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Credits: Original music (intro/outro/transitions) by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode, Emily chats with the women behind the podcast Sh*tty Pastor's Wives, Charli and Jenny about the unrealistic expectations placed on women in white evangelicalism as wives and mothers. They discuss how their own childhoods shaped their experiences as adult women in the church and the steps they took to eventually free themselves from the very small cage that is “biblical womanhood.” To hear more from Charli and Jenny, you can listen to their podcast Sh*tty Pastor's Wives wherever you listen to podcasts. All of the links mentioned in this episode are listed below. Links from this episode: Sh*tty Pastor's Wives podcast on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts Charli is on Twitter as @WifeWorst Jenny is on Twitter as @SwearingsCaring Follow their podcast on Twitter @ShWives Further reading on topics discussed in this episode: http://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/06/01/honey-im-not-home/ http://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/05/07/an-unfair-review/ http://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/04/08/why-power-dynamics-matter-in-evangelical-spaces/ The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Credits: Original music (intro/outro) by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode Emily brings you her highly anticipated conversation with activist and church abuse survivor advocate, Jo Luehmann. Jo has been speaking out against church abuse on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok, as well as helping people decolonize their faith. Born in Columbia, she came to the US in her early 20's to get her master's degree in theology and ministry. After a decade of working and teaching in churches, she finally left the evangelical machine to help other survivors of church abuse and religious trauma reclaim their autonomy and spirituality. Together with other survivors she formed @doBetterChurch, an online community devoted to exposing church abuse which exploded into 5,000 members in a matter of weeks. Join Emily and Jo as they discuss everything from ministry life to motherhood, from Christian Supremacy to the church's questionable labor practices. If you want to learn more about Jo and her work, all applicable links mentioned in today's episode are listed below. Links from this episode: @doBetterChurch https://linktr.ee/dobetterchurch/ @JoLuehmann (on all platforms) https://linktr.ee/joluehmann Support Jo's work by subscribing to her Patreon https://www.patreon.com/joluehmann The Life She Wrote: Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Credits: Original music (intro/outro) by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode, Emily chats with two grassroots political activists from Idaho to discuss their state's unique relationship to the extreme Christian Right, and more specifically Christian Reconstructionism—better known to Idahoans as the American Redoubt. If you've been following the recent wave of arguments and initiatives from conservative Christian republicans, you may be surprised how much of it has been coming from this one state in the Pacific Northwest. Guests: Alicia Abbott- 4thgeneration Idahoan, North Idaho business owner and activist. Chad Schobert- North Idaho resident, activist, and former fundamentalist conservative Christian. Links from this episode: Reclaim Idaho https://www.reclaimidaho.org/ The Idaho 97% https://www.theidaho97.org/ The latest on Lt. Governor Janice McGeachin fight against Critical Race Theory: https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/local/education/article252305588.html The Life She Wrote Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Credits: Original music (intro/outro) by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode Emily interviews Meghan Crozier, of thepursuinglife.com about her deconstruction journey so far and talk about growing up evangelical. You can visit Meghan's blog to learn more, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram @thepursuinglife. Links from this episode: Meghan's blog - thepursuinglife.com Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Credits: Original music (intro/outro) by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode Emily wraps up her series on purity culture with Part V: Sexual and Gender Identity. She discusses the ways purity culture and white evangelical's fear-based theology impede evangelical Christians from affirming and accepting LGBTQIA+ people, and the unique trauma that impacts gay and transgender children (of all ages) of evangelical parents. Links from this episode: http://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/06/08/identity-is-not-a-sin/ Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Credits: Original music (intro/outro) by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode Emily covers Part IV in her series on purity culture discussing gender roles within purity culture and evangelicalism at large. She shares some personal stories of her own attempts to fit into the small boxes provided for women inside evangelicalism and discusses how heteronormativity has shaped and hurt those inside the church. You can read the first three parts of this series on her blog at thelifeshewrote.com. Links from this episode: https://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/06/01/honey-im-not-home/ Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Work cited: Quotes from "Boys," Untamed by Glennon Doyle Doyle, G. (2020). Untamed. New York, NY: The Dial Press, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Credits: Original music (intro/outro) by R.Scott Okamoto rscottokamoto.com

In this episode Emily covers Part III of her series on purity culture discussing Shame & Sexuality in Relationships. She explores the origins of the shame surrounding sexuality and the importance of grieving what was lost to this painful era. Created as an addition to her blog, The Life She Wrote: The Podcast will expand on the topics of faith deconstruction, religious trauma and other ex-evangelical topics by providing a more in-depth look at the content and sharing stories from readers and listeners. Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Links From This Episode On the Blog: https://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/05/25/are-you-not-the-one/ Other Links Mentioned https://religionandpolitics.org/2021/05/12/the-eugenics-roots-of-evangelical-family-values/ Straight White American Jesus podcast, episode link: The Eugenicist Origins of Evangelical Family Values On Tim Keller and sexual ethic: https://religiondispatches.org/is-sex-outside-marriage-dehumanizing-the-problem-with-tim-kellers-biblical-sex-ethic/ and also https://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/04/07/one-white-pastor-vs-a-generation-of-leavers/ Stories from this episode: Ford Ebling, on Twitter @ford_ebling Anonymous story #2, on Twitter @thesnarkygent

In this episode, Emily covers Part II of her series on purity culture from her blog The Life She Wrote. Part II explores the teaching of modesty, and by extension rape culture and clergy abuse.[Content warning: sexual assault, clergy abuse] Created as an addition to her blog, The Life She Wrote: The Podcast will expand on the topics of faith deconstruction, religious trauma and other ex-evangelical topics by providing a more in-depth look at the content and sharing stories from readers and listeners. Social Links and Newsletter Sign-Up Links from this episode: On the Blog https://thelifeshewrote.com/2021/05/20/modest-is-not-hottest/ Gospel Coalition web archive: https://web.archive.org/web/20140523092159/http://thegospelcoalition.org/article/on-some-recent-changes-at-tgc Keller's tweet referencing Denhollander: https://twitter.com/timkellernyc/status/1393929215423229961?s=20 Rape statistics by country: https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/rape-statistics-by-country Books & Resources #ChurchToo by Emily Joy Allison from Broadleaf Books You Are Your Own: A Reckoning With the Religious Trauma of Evangelical Christianity by Jamie Lee Finch. Other Links Mentioned https://religionandpolitics.org/2021/05/12/the-eugenics-roots-of-evangelical-family-values/ Straight White American Jesus podcast, episode link: The Eugenicist Origins of Evangelical Family Values

In this very first episode* of The Life She Wrote: The Podcast, Emily introduces herself and her work in ex-evangelical spaces. Every week she will expand on her blog post from the previous week, providing a more in-depth look at the content and sharing stories from readers and listeners. This episode begins a month long series on purity culture and all the ways it has impacted a generation. She provides a working definition of purity culture and context in which she'll be discussing it, as well as some background on early 90's evangelical subculture in the United States and Christian pop culture. Link's from this episode: https://www.vox.com/2020/3/2/21146011/crisis-pregnancy-center-resource-abortion-title-x Blog and socials: https://linktr.ee/thelifeshewrote *Hint, hint, we're new at this! So it won't be perfect but we'll get there. Thank you so much for listening!