Windsors & Losers

Mark Bolland pulled off many coups during his seven-year tenure as Charles and Camilla's palace spin doctor... but he wasn't there to make friends. “There was an awful man there," one senior figure said 20 years later. "Absolutely destructive beyond belief." So who is this Rasputin-like magician who turned Camilla from most reviled woman in Britain into future queen? In the final episode of "The Camilla Season," Eva and Allie follow the mighty rise and unceremonious end of Camilla's most ruthless and dogged courtier.

Can queens be friends with their exes? Camilla is the first divorced queen in British history with a living husband. And — oh, is he ever living! The charming and roguish Brigadier Andrew Parker Bowles is still a key member of Camilla's inner circle, beloved by all, including Camilla, despite his cad antics. He regularly attends ceremonial occasions as Camilla's guest and has on at least one occasion acted as her official representative. In fact, it could be argued (by us) that Andrew and Camilla, not Gwyneth and Chris, are the true originators of “conscious uncoupling.” In the penultimate episode of The Camilla Season, Eva and Allie take a look back at the surprisingly civil divorce of Camilla and Andrew in 1995. But... maybe that's what happens when your marriage is one of "electric indifference", as Tina Brown once put it.

As any royal biography will tell you, people really like Queen Camilla — they really, really like her. This week, hosts Eva and Allie are deep-diving into the former Camilla Parker-Bowles's wide world of friendships. Camilla's inner circle is a big one, from throwback childhood horse and pony pals to the six grown-up female friends she's hooked up with (unpaid) jobs at the Palace. We meet this motley crew of royal BFFs, including the one who's Charles's cousin and the one whose husband proposes to strangers. And we can't forget to mention Camilla's long history of befriending reporters. Camilla just has a way of making royal journos feel less “reptilian,” and in return, they cover her glowingly.

Central to Queen Camilla's public image is the idea that she's an unfussy, no-nonsense, ruddy British everywoman. But those with a nose for useless royal miscellany (ahem, your dedicated hosts) have picked up on Camilla's frequent under-the-radar visits to an idyllic holistic health spa in southern India run by the charismatic healer to the (British) stars, Dr. Issac Mathai. The Soukya International Holistic Health Centre is frequented by the likes of Emma Thompson, Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson, and yes, Queen Camilla, who we can't say for certain DOESN'T get the "reverse childbirth" colonic irrigation. When she's not in India, Dr. Mathai is flying to the UK to treat Camilla and Charles at home (something Mathai claims to do frequently). So who is this shadowy healer? Well, for one thing, he's not shadowy at all. He's surprisingly loose-lipped about his royal connections, for which we are eternally thankful.

In episode six of "The Camilla Season," Eva and Allie bravely go where no one ever wanted to go again... back to 1993, year of "Tampongate." This was the iconic conversation in which, as you will reluctantly recall, Charles talked about becoming Camilla's tampon. It wasn't the future king's finest hour, nor was it the finest hour of the “amateur radio enthusiast” who taped someone else's private phone call and sold it to the tabloids. But there's more to Tampongate than just that tampon moment. The conversation reveals much about Charles and Camilla's private world, the people willing to keep their affair secret, and even — dare we say — a modicum of tenderness. Here Eva and Allie reenact and annotate Tampongate. Please forgive them.

An unnamed relative of Queen Camilla's once described her as “the laziest woman to have been born in England in the 20th century.” This was an assessment often (and rudely!) repeated by staffers, former staffers, biographers, and tabloid journalists to describe Camilla's pre-royal work ethic. As far as Eva and Allie can tell, Camilla's only paid gig was as gofer for a prestigious interior design firm in the 1960s… from which she was unceremoniously fired. But is it fair to call a woman who raised two children, ran a large household, had numerous hobbies, and who would go on to become Queen of England lazy? In this episode of Windsors & Losers, Eva and Allie run through Camilla's professional CV and break down what "work" means for a woman of her class and position.

In Roman times, Diana was known as the goddess of the hunt — but nowadays, Queen Camilla is the British aristocrat most associated with the countryside past-time. In episode four of Windsors & Losers's "The Camilla Season," hosts Eva and Allie revisit Camilla's long association with the world of ponies and, eventually, hunting. It's a passion she shared with husband King Charles III — that is, until it was ruled illegal and the royals had to stop terrorizing foxes on horseback. We take a look back at Camilla's inherited love of all things horse, and — for better or worse — try to unpack the psychological connection between hunting and... yes... sex.

Keen (but formally untrained) royal anthropologists Eva and Allie have noticed that Queen Camilla seems to spend an awful lot of time at a mystery house called “Ray Mill” in Wiltshire, England. It turns out that Ray Mill is Camilla's private home, one she's hung onto from her pre-royal days. It's where she flees on weekends, holidays, and pretty much anytime she fancies a big ol' G&T in front of Coronation Street, her favorite soap, and a show which Charles reportedly loathes. In episode 4 of Windsors & Losers's “The Camilla Season,” Eva and Allie attempt to untangle Charles and Camilla's $25 billion dollar property empire and answer the simple question: “Why does the very married Queen hold onto her own house?”

Camilla Parker Bowles, soon-to-be Queen, is many things. And one of those things is: a mom. This week's episode of Windsors & Losers — part of our "Camilla Season" — is all about Camilla's two "royally adjacent" children, Tom and Laura. Learn about how the now King Charles was a regular visitor at their childhood home, why Tom calls himself “a camp old raver,” how Laura married an underwear model, and why both Eva and Allie are always and forever #TeamTom.

On February 18th of 2005, The Guardian published the decidedly unglamorous headline “Charles and Camilla Forced to Wed in Local Register Office.” The tabloids, meanwhile, crowned future queen Camilla Parker Bowles the "Town Hall Bride.” So how did King Charles's second wife come to have her own second wedding in such an understated location when royal nuptials are usually held in more august venues? In episode one of Windsors & Losers's “The Camilla Season,” hosts Eva and Allie revisit Camilla's low-key (second) wedding day — and how she could barely get out of bed that morning.

Windsors & Losers, the podcast that tells you a lesser-known story about the British royal family in every episode, will be back with a new season just in time for the coronation on May 6! And this time it's all about the new queen, Camilla. Let's really get to know the woman formerly known as “Mrs. PB” (for Parker Bowles) by palace staff, and “the other woman” by Fleet Street — independent of the Charles and Diana love triangle. What makes this new queen tick? Who are her kids, Tom and Laura? Why did she and Charles get married at town hall? Why doesn't the palace want us to know about her regular trips to a homeopathic wellness spa in India? And lastly, do we regret exploring the connection between fox hunting and Charles and Camilla's physical relationship? Yes, yes we do. Be sure to subscribe!

The year was 1960, and Princess Margaret, along with her new husband Anthony Armstrong-Jones, made a fateful trip ashore to the tiny Caribbean island of Mustique during their six week (checks notes — yes, six week) honeymoon aboard the royal yacht. Margaret's party pal from back in London, Colin Tennant (later, Glenconner), had just purchased the island and he cannily offered the princess a plot of land as a wedding gift. It would be another few years before "Margo" cashed in the I.O.U, but when she did, she also asked for a house — naturally. Thus began Margaret's long love affair with the hedonistic party paradise that Colin developed on Mustique. It's where Margaret escaped the glare of public life in London, enjoyed getaways with her boyfriend, and later suffered a series of serious health episodes. In this final episode Windsors & Losers season one, Eva and Allie mentally head to Mustique to revisit what Margaret and the rest of the 1970s glitterati got up to down there. Hint: it once involved spray-painting palm trees gold, outfitting waiters in just gold coconut shells, and polluting the sand with gold glitter.

Prince Philip was born, er, a prince — and then, of course, went on to marry a queen — but he had a challenging childhood. A central figure in his adolescence was his mother's brother, an aristocrat named George Mountbatten, who provided Philip with a stable family life (for a time). But George sadly died young, when Philip was only 17, and as a result the uncle's story is a mere footnote in royal biographies. But even those tiny mentions usually include a unique detail about Unky G. He was a collector. He collected model trains. And — oh yeah! — he spent millions in today's money amassing one of the world's largest collections of erotic imagery. And this is where we pick up today, retracing Philip's footsteps to his uncle's family home, and establishing why one of the 20th century's biggest British political scandals forced the Mountbattens to divest themselves of the 'curious collection.'

Join us for an extremely niche Windsors & Losers analysis of "Spare," Prince Harry's monumental biography released last month. Many readers and reporters quite naturally focused on the biggest and most sensational sections, whether it was physical aggression from "Willy" — also known as Prince William — or the claim that Queen Consort Camilla (FKA Camilla Parker Bowles) planted stories about Harry in order to curry favor with the public for herself. And, sure, we were interested in those details. But what we really enjoyed were those between-the-lines nuggets that, we think, revealed a bit more about royal operations than Harry may have intended. Without further ado, let's dive in, like King Charles into his nightly bubble bath (a tradition we now know about, thanks to Spare).

Harry and Meghan who? Long before Netflix came a callin' — there was one royal who wanted to make it in Hollywood, and his name is Edward. Who the heck is Prince Edward, you so rightly ask? He's the Queen's fifty-eight-year-old son (the third male child — the spare's spare, so to speak). He spent most of the nineties and noughties running a production company that made... nothing most of us have heard of.... until today! Join us for a deep dive on Edward's producorial misadventures, and why he created one show so bad the royals turned their backs on television for good. 

Before there was Camilla and Charles, there was Camilla and Andrew. She was Camilla Shand, country girl and horse fan, who was a social star in the classroom, finishing school, and the debutante balls of London. He was Andrew Parker Bowles, a young cavalry officer and the most lusted-after gentleman of her deb season. In episode three of Windsors & Losers, hosts Allie & Eva revisit Camilla and Andrew's unconventional and somewhat racy first marriage — and how she ultimately found her way back into the arms of the future King Charles.

Windsors & Losers is created and produced by Eva Wolchover and Allie Merriam. Our episode was mixed by Kristin Mueller. Special thanks to Jesse Baker, Eric Nuzum, Ian Chillag, Sabrina Farhi, Lee Lawrence, Tom Merriam, and Debbie Merriam. Give us your feedback at WindsorsLosers.com. And please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

Windsors & Losers is created and produced by Eva Wolchover and Allie Merriam. Our episode was mixed by Kristin Mueller. Give us your feedback at WindsorsLosers.com. Please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!

Who among us can... build their own town? King Charles created an opportunity to flex his untrained architect muscles and create a village, Poundbury, from the ground up. It's taken him more than 30 years, but the results are actually pretty good. Hosts Eva Wolchover and Allie Merriam tee up episode one — out in January! — and introduce themselves and their uniquely American POV on royal commentary. Please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.