Defying Self

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A living journey through personal transformation, family, faith and finances.

Edvardo and Ntebo Archer


    • Oct 29, 2021 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 35m AVG DURATION
    • 36 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Defying Self

    Defying Fear in Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2021 60:10


    Parenting is HOPE! Hope for our children's future, hope for their wellbeing, and hope that everything we do matters. BUT the fear that often accompanies PARENTING is one of the greatest challenges we face. In today's episode, we discuss how fear can damage us and our children. And speaking of hope, we talk about the solutions we can employ to defy the fear in parenting.

    Lessons We've Learned From Being Business Owners.

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2021 49:41


    We started our Etsy furniture business as an adventure. Seven years later we have learned key lessons that have strengthened our peace, confidence and self-worth. Listen to learn how we started and the lessons we learned along the way.

    Reflecting on Lessons from the Lockdown

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2021 36:54


    In December 2020, we sat down and reviewed the immediate lessons we were learning from spending most of the year in lockdown. We realized how the lack of normalcy created opportunities for us to grow stronger as a family, solidify our faith and refine the long time struggles we faced previously (among other lessons). The year 2020, expedited some key lessons that were are still chewing on today. Take a listen and also take a moment to reflect on the lessons you learned over this and last year. And despite the struggles, we hope that we will all find ourselves stronger for whatever the journey ahead might be!

    Defying "Strict" Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2021 52:35


    The stress of raising and disciplining children has been especially tough on parents over the last couple of years. We have all found ourselves struggling with the extremes of strict parenting. Listen in to hear our process as well as the principles to help keep us balanced as we parent our kids.

    Making Decisions, Mastering Habits, and Shaping Identity

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2021 56:13


    In this episode, we reflect on the book Atomic Habits. We discuss the lessons that stuck. How do we building habits that last? And how do these habits shape the people we become? We reach into our personal experiences to distill how we can make decisions that matter in order to bring us forward in our personal journey.

    Book Discussion: Range, Why Generalist Triumph in a Specialized World

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2021 67:16


    Have you ever felt like you are "behind the curve"? You haven't figured out how to be the best at one thing AND you are constantly interested in many things? We are joined by our good friend Stephanie Danclair, as we discuss our key takeaways from "Range" by David Epstein. We discover that life is a journey of discovering and learning and not merely a fixed destination.

    Dealing with Personal Disappointment

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2021 43:18


    We have all encountered some level of personal disappointment. It happens in the moments where we have missed the mark, felt stuck and sometimes unable to move forward. Listen in to learn how personal disappointment can impact our sense of identity, how we can then adjust our expectations and appropriately measure our progress.

    Defying the Sense of Powerlessness

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2021 42:19


    What has been clear as of late, is that we control little in life. In this episode we talk about the 3 areas where we can restore a sense of balance in these challenging times: 1) managing what we consume, 2) contributing towards our creative expressions and 3) focusing on the things we have an opportunity to manage.

    Growing Together: When Therapy Helps

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 29, 2020 48:30


    On average, couples wait seven years to seek help for relational issues from a professional. Perhaps a part of the reason for this is because most couples do not know what to expect from couples therapy. In this episode, we interview Sofia Robirosa, a good friend and relationship expert. She takes us through what couple's therapy looks like, how it can help AND she also gives us tips on improving our communication in a relationships.

    Growing Together: Forgiveness

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2020 50:28


    Episode 1: Conflict is good. Episode 2: How to engage conflict. The natural progression is forgiveness. The best ending to every confrontation is forgiveness. In this Episode 3, we discuss the importance and the HOW of forgiveness, for growth in our relationships.

    Growing Together: Learning How to Fight

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2020 50:11


    In the last podcast, we spoke about how conflict can be a powerful tool of growth in relationships. Now...How do we engage in conflict well? We break down the steps to productive conflict into three: when conflict begins, navigating the conflict and managing to a good resolution.

    Growing together: Conflict is good!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2020 40:27


    We begin Season 2 with a look at CONFLICT in relationships. How do you embrace the productivity of conflict? We discuss the importance of engaging in conflict in a way that builds the relationship and BUILDS YOU as an individual. It can get messy but conflict can be a powerful tool for growth.

    Defying Self-Season 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2020 2:30


    We are back! Starting off with some announcements of what to expect this year. We are excited about the journey ahead and grateful that you can join us!

    Engaging the Journey of Vulnerability

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2019 41:34


    We all know vulnerability benefits our relationships BUT how do we even get started? How do we defy the fear of all we stand to lose if we let go and welcome vulnerability? In this episode, we speak to how to engage and walk out your journey of vulnerability.

    Parenting is Kicking my Butt

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2019 51:43


    It's official, parenting is kicking our butts. In this episode, we talk through difficult parenting issues and areas where our parenting can use some improvement. So join us as we laugh at our struggles and cry (inside) while we learn and grow as parents.

    Surviving your Spouse - Reflections

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2019 33:53


    The last two podcasts on Love, Tolerance and Combination has offered tons to chew on. Tune in as we reflect on what resonated and impacted us the most. We highlight the "forever" honeymoon state, the need for self love, the importance of correctly defining perfection/maturity in relationship and more.

    Surviving your Spouse PT 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2019 22:02


    This week we get into the nitty gritty of how to structure a marriage to ensure growth. It is going to take identity, vulnerability and sight. Join us as we discuss the details of applying Love, Tolerance and Communication.

    Surviving your Spouse PT 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 17, 2019 30:38


    Marriage is challenging and can be traumatic if you are not ready. We replay a recent couples' workshop on Love, Tolerance and Communication. We start the series by looking at the 8 phases of relational breakdown and how our history can create relational dysfunction.

    Defying Parenting Differences

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2019 28:42


    Another question from our listeners: "What do you do if both parents in a family have conflicting approaches to parenting?" This week we talk about synchronizing values and personalities to create a united front for our children.

    Affirming Healing for Healthy Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2019 26:46


    This week we answer a question from one of our faithful listeners. We discuss practical and spiritual perspectives on how one can heal and bring less baggage into their relationships. If you would like us to ponder one of your questions, go to defyingself.com and click "Contact Us" on the top right hand corner.

    Marital Support in Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2019 36:47


    Your marriage relationship plays a critical role in giving you the strength and endurance to parent your children well. In this episode, we cover the principles and practical examples of what it means to give and receive support from your spouse.

    Defying the Resistance

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2019 26:46


    Resistance is the events, people and unfortunate outcomes that create a valid reason to give up. In this episode, Eddie talks through a recent challenge that caused him to learn how to defy valid reasons to give up. We highlight several principles that affirm how we keep moving forward in spite of the resistance of life. Here are the principle that we covered: 1. Where does your grace come from? 2. Sometimes the best offering is to give up 3. Even if you fail, so what? 4. Resistance is defined by our expectation of results

    Defying Anxiety in Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2019 34:36


    Parenting is full of tough moments. Though we are often able to get our kids through these moments, there are "other" moments that cause us to freak out. In this episode, we take a look at where parenting anxiety comes from and what we need to do to overcome it.

    Defying History. You are not your parents.

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2019 36:14


    To be better for ourselves and our kids we cannot afford to be weighed down any longer by the breakdowns of our upbringing. In this episode, we review that compassion, sight and transformation is needed to break free from the history that keeps us stuck.

    Defying the Fear of Getting Started PT 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2019 35:01


    We continue our conversation on defying the fear of getting started. We speak to Neo, an Investment Company owner in South Africa, about how she faced her fears and quit her job to start her own business. Neo Maruatona Ratau is a finance professional, turned entrepreneur. She now co-owns an investment holding company, Mamor Capital, with an aim to drive SA's economic expansion through sustainable investments and commercial innovation.

    Defying the Fear of Getting Started PT 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2019 22:22


    Starting something new can be intimidating and overwhelming. Listen in to learn how Eddie journeyed through leaving his job and starting his private practice. In this episode we talk about the specific principles that will help you defy the fear of starting your next project.

    Defying the Fear of Getting Started

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2019 26:18


    How many times have you been on the edge of starting something new? Looking for a new job, starting a business, relocating or simply changing a habit, but the fear of getting started has you stuck? In this episode we talk about defying the fear of getting started.

    Defying the Noise of Negative Opinions | PT 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2019 27:42


    Episode # 2 of our series on Defying the Noise of Negative Opinion. In this episode we look at how we can begin to heal from the pull of negative opinions. How do we push past the noise? How do we manage ourselves so that negative opinions don’t immobilize us anymore?

    Defying the Noise of Negative Opinions | PT 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2019 36:56


    In this episode we deal with the noise of negative opinion. Why do other people's opinions affect some of us? And where does it all come from? We also talk about the factors that keep us stuck in our insecurities.

    Defying Inexperience: Parenting with Confidence | Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2019 25:11


    In this episode we continue our conversation on how we parent with confidence even though we are inexperienced. We discuss two truths of parenting: (1). We are all “inexperienced” parents and (2). There are guiding principles that give us confidence.

    Defying Inexperience : Parenting with Confidence | Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2018 32:41


    In this episode we discuss two truths of parenting: (1). We are all "inexperienced" parents and (2). There are guiding principles that can help us parent our children with confidence. Listen in to hear our journey and how these principles have guided us.

    Defying the perfectionist - Ntebo’s Story

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2018 31:02


    Ntebo has the “superpower” of self-discipline. When she chooses to do something, it will get done. This episode is for individuals who are executors, perfectionist and who generally have no problem taking control. Listen in to learn how Ntebo defies her perfectionism in a way that gives her freedom.

    Defying the HERO - Eddie’s Story

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2018 33:20


    We love heroes that come and save the day! But when does the need to save and serve get in the way? In this episode we confront the mindset that informs and motivates the HERO. We also take a specific look at how to manage our heroism in a way that is actually beneficial.

    You cannot have it all. So what are you gonna choose?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2018 30:54


    It’s not a coincidence that this is our second episode. In this podcast we are speaking to ourselves and the people who strive for the best in their lives. We believe it’s important to start balancing the hope for a better life with a dose of reality. The

    Meet the host through our Google PRX application

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2018 20:49


    In this episode, we do a quick, but deep dive, on who we are and why we are doing this podcast. We also share with you the process involved in our Google Podcast Grant Application.

    Defying Self Promo

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2018 1:56


    Our first thoughts about the meaning of defying self.

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