EarFinger

Doug breaks down and finds all the joy from the wonder that is the Star Wars Christmas Special. He also discusses breakfast foods, Ed starring Matt LeBlanc and a chimpanzee, ring cameras, and more. Oh, and he peed his pants recently.

Doug ranks the top ten weirdest cartoons from the 80s.  He is dumbstruck by how insane some of the content is that he digested as a kid. He also talks about what life would have been like had he become best friends with Tony Romo in the year 2020. He also discusses his wife raising butterflies, how cool Road House is (as usual), and has a big announcement.

Doug gets too high and watches G.I. Joe and has no idea what is going on. He can't seem to make any sense of the cartoon in that state. He also explains why funerals suck and ruins butterflies for you.

Doug takes a very serious and in-depth look at the not-so-classic film, Fart: The Movie. Yes, this is a real film.  He also discusses his recent onstage incident involving a certain vegetable and is very excited that he finally watched the film, 3000 Miles To Graceland.

Doug catches the audience up with his move and some various, random thoughts such as why he thinks poetry at weddings is dumb and what he wants to see on The Bachelorette.  He also shares a ridiculous story involving an epic fart.

Doug is on the move and talks about a recent fire, shit selfies, and a buddy in a tricky bathroom situation. Despite being pretty isolated the last year, Doug ranks his top 10 most embarrassing moments that happened IN quarantine.

Doug shares a couple stories about how he was tricked by Elon Musk as well as a recent mushroom trip story. He also ranks the top ten best bad films he watched in the pandemic.

Doug opens up about a particularly embarrassing phase he went through that involves ridiculous outfits, fight clubbing, and obstruction of railroad property.  He also talks about Santa Fe wildlife and offers up a wonderful prank anyone can use.

Doug ranks the 10 lamest superheroes/villains of all time.  Learning about these characters is mind-blowing.  Extradimensional clowns, superhero truckers, ice cream bodies--weird stuff.  He also opens up about some foodie pics and shares a story about how he learned that you should never try to be Patrick Swayze. 

Doug reflects on the past year and all the insanity that came with it.  He shares embarrassing stories along the way and gets high to watch an episode of the original He-Man series.  He also reads another one of his short stories and shares a bizarre tale involving cocaine and wolves.

Doug takes a close look at the greatest year for film EVER: 1989. He assigns different rankings for all the amazing films of that year as he weaves through stories related to them.  He also shares another embarrassing quarantine story and explains the weirdest spreadsheet ever. This one has it all: Batman, Road House, Eric Roberts, UFOs, sharts, and Danzig.

Doug takes a deep, historic look at ancient Japanese fart battles. This is a real thing, by the way. It's real and he talks about it.  He also shares an embarrassing quarantine story. 

Doug discusses everything from chopping wood to Zubaz to almost getting stabbed to his recent UFO sighting and ghost encounter. He also opens up about how bad he feels for ruining part of his wife's birthday.  And, he shares a story about outbullying a bully.

Doug discusses his recent psychedelic journey involving Alf, freaking out, and a terrible movie called The Big Blue. He also shares his famous potato salad story admits to being in an embarrassing fantasy league, and reveals how he recently embarrassed himself in front of a stranger in quarantine.

Doug has never seen Queen's Gambit but takes a guess at what the show is about and even goes into full detail as to what he thinks the pilot episode is.  Is he close? Probably not. He also discusses his legacy, Los Angeles crimes vs Santa Fe crimes, shares a couple new jokes, and music made by The Octopus Project from his dog's energy. You read that last part right.

Doug catches the audience up on his quarantine madness.  He also shares what he feels is the greatest food known to man and gives the film Super 8 a new ending.

Doug fills you in with how he's been battling boredom in quarantine. This includes his recent marathon watching of every Michael Myers Halloween movie. He also shares another ridiculous short story involving an alien.

Doug shares some recent stories in quarantine.  They're all pretty embarrassing as usual.  

Doug shares what he really thinks of hummingbirds and gives a quarantine update. He also shares a few goofy short stories. One involves a superhero and some issues he's having while mid-battle and the others involve corn and ghosts.

Doug takes the audience on a real fart safari as he reads and breaks down a book called "Farts In The Wild." As he reads along he shares a few stories, discusses his recent obsession with old Schwarzenegger movies, and drops a quarantine tip.

Doug is back and lets you into his life a little bit as he watches Road House with his wife, Flynn.  They try and make sense of and celebrate this great American classic.  He also shares a couple quick quarantine stories.

Doug shares an old standup bit along with three short stories.  The first story is about a band from the 60s and a surprise they received in the 90s.  The second is about an alien fugitive.  The last story is a true story that gets pretty weird.

Doug shares the most insane LSD story he has ever heard along with three of his goofy, weird short stories.  One is about a strange last request from dying man on the battle field.  The second explains a certain rumor attached to Richard Gere. The last explains the afterlife...sort of.  He's also got a big announcement, shares some of his standup, and much more!

This week Doug does a book review of 97 Ways To Make A Baby Laugh.  He does not understand why there needs to be a book on the subject when it's so easy to make a baby laugh.  He reads and rips apart his favorite, most ridiculous entries.  

This week, Doug shares a couple more really goofy short stories he wrote.  A little bit into the reading, an unexpected visitor shows up at a rather embarrassing moment.  Doug carries on despite the awkwardness.  He also shares some standup material that he would be performing if he were on the road right now as well as his thoughts on the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. 

Doug changes it up and shares a couple short stories he wrote along with insight into where the ideas came from.  One involves first contact with an alien race and the other involves Batman seeing his parents for the first time in the afterlife. He also shares a story involving a creep and a burrito at an airbnb.

Doug fell into the classic high trap of not thinking he was high enough and continued to pile on until he couldn't make any sense of Bananas In Pajamas.  He loses his mind on several occasions and then calls not one but three friends in the middle of the night to attempt to have a conversation. Surprise! It doesn't go well and Doug embarrasses himself repeatedly. Buckle up for a strange ride...

This episode was recorded after the previous episode and Doug has ingested more pot as he watches Yo Gabba Gabba for the first time and has his mind blown.  He REALLY likes the show and laughs uncontrollably at times while making not-so-keen observations.

Doug struggles with whether or not he is high enough to be recording the podcast but he for sure is.  He watches Sesame Street Season 15, Episode 97 "Hooper's Has A Broken Window" and has his mind blown quite a bit.  Follow along as Doug renews his love for edibles during the quarantine and discovers that he loves the Cookie Monster.  

At the beginning of quarantine Doug got really high for the first time in years and recorded audio of himself watching Sesame Street.  He has a very difficult time following along but does his best.  Many ridiculous things are said. At the end, he weighs in sober to make fun of himself.

This is a limited series during the corona times that will be a little different each week but always some form of bizarre comedy from Doug Mellard. For the first episode, you'll hear audio of Doug way too high trying to make commentary while he watches Sesame Street--it's a really fun trainwreck.  Doug doesn't really get high much these days (had been a couple years) but decided to go for broke early on during quarantine and the results are pretty ridiculous. Flipping back and forth between fighting anxiety and laughing hysterically, it's a silly ride. Give it a try and escape from the apocalypse for a few!