Spiffy Bender Radio

Free agency? Trades?...Yeah...not here, yinz beautiful humans! I'm incapable of saying anything about signings and trades, league-wide, better than any insider or singularly focused fan, so I'll refrain. In this episode, I give some thoughts on the free agency process itself, a beer review, and a letter to an adult leaguer named Billy Badass. Enjoy!

Welp...that just happened. How well, or, er...poorly did Ron Francis and company do with the expansion draft? How poorly or, er...abysmally did ESPN do with the telecast presentation? An unsent letter to Frank Seravalli. A beer review. So so very much shorter than the last episode. You're welcome.

This is what happens when I'm gone for too long and the entire NHL goes totally bug-nuts. Tropical Storm Kucherov ran amok all over the media, got sponsored by the beer he was drinking, and is still dragging the Montreal fanbase across a sterling silver, legendary name-embossed lightning bolt. A tornado of trades rolled through the off-season trailer park and left my browser history a shambles. I covered a few while I got a little post/pre-chorin' lit. EXPANSION: The opposite of what a mythical kraken would do to a galleon. Ronny Franchise takes all your decent **** Wednesday, July 21st at 8pm. Who goes? Who doesn't? Who took my last 'Gansett? Me? Yup.

Hey yo...here's a brief riff on the importance of championship victories as it pertains to measuring an individual player's legacy. Its likely incomplete and janky, but sometimes, I like to think the same of myself as I continue on this undulating wavelength that is life. Pro tip. Wear no-show socks if you're gonna rock some TOMS. Your significant other's sense of smell will thank you.

This episode is 1000x less depressing than the last...at least for me. Where will the Penguins go from here? Probably a bunch of really awesome vacation destinations...BUT AFTER? Who knows? The expansion draft looms, free agency perhaps looms larger (because that's often the yearly saga of buyer's remorse to the tune of funeral dirges), and many questions must be answered. Like...have I had a few? Yeah. I have. I need to put back on what I lost after a 5k and bodyweight session. I dig equilibrium.

NHL talk? There's some. Did I drink a few and get into a little deep, dark soul-bearing session directed towards the love of my life that isn't my wife? Yep. Hockey...it's you and me with our initials carved into a tree.

PLAYOFFS! Sure I'm a little late, but at this point, that's kind of my gimmick. What's so great about the NHL playoffs? Hell I I know. All I know is what I think is cool about the sport I love. In this episode, I also bring up a little bit about my views on playing adult league playoff games. Right now?...it's time to watch some ******* HOCKEY!!!!

Congratulations Seattle Kraken on officially becoming a NHL franchise! May Ron Francis guide you towards the destruction of many schooners and whatnot! But seriously?...is this new professional hockey team a kitchen bleach and kool-ade dye job, or a jar of manic panic purchased from Hot Topic fashion statement? Does anybody really give a ****? When Jaws pops out the water, what'll you be drinking? Happy Saturday!

Yeah, I've been gone a while. Apologies. This one is a bit all over the place, just like yours truly. Great beer tip, though! Game management? Physicality in hockey? Yep, I talked out my *** about those subjects. You wanna listen to a grown-*** man say the word "rivalry" 49 times? That's an estimate. It could've been more. I cannot remember. It's good to be back....to square one. Be well, beings!

Jake Muzzin flipped an ultra-muffin at Matthew Tkachuk...and hilarity ensued! Matt Dumba accidentally launched a rocket at Sean Walker's face piece and a horror movie ensued. Should full cages be mandatory in the NHL? Is the position of adult league captain an esteemed role? Can you tell when I've reached my cut-off point? Enjoy!

This human unit's Covid fatigue is super high. This is my attempt at recovery after rage quitting on this episode the other day. It's quick and relatively painless. Herein are my brief thoughts on the Capitals Covid story and the idea of an all league-encompassing Champions League of the hockey playing and whatnot. Enjoy!

The Formally Attired Flightless Fowl are four games into the NHL season....what's the story? Seriously? Do you know?...asking for a friend who's trying to produce some content. Hit me up. Later.

The NHL is back!!!...but what did I just watch (until the Penguins put me to sleep)? Gamesmanship, Jared McCann's indy wrestler-style Roaring Elbow...myself and my gin and tonic(s) talked about it all! I'm off to watch McDavid and Drai crush the Habs!!!

Polish Hill. Lawrenceville....from Hazelwood to Kennywood...IT'S YA BOI!!! My thoughts on the John Marino contract extension? Choice. My assessment of the Pittsburgh Penguins in and moving out of camp? Oh so delicious. The Pens' prospect pool? A petri dish rife with contagions. Keep your social distance from this team's future! Just kidding. Enjoy this nonsense!

Who's the true GOAT? The answer is probably not mine, or for the reasons I lay out in my comparison but hey -- I tried! 2021 and the wife is working late! That means its 'gansett o'clock! Kick it responsibly, my fellow rink rats!

So...I gave my take on a couple news items. They're impeccably ordered! Beyond that, it's almost 2021. 2020 was a mother....uh...thingy. Just keep skating. Keep grinding. I provided a little insight as to how I'm dealing. Hopefully you find it to be positive....or at least not positively dreadful. Happy New Year, rink rats!

A true unit just hung up his skates...respect. The NHL may soon allow individual franchises to negotiate advertising deals that will open up placing ads on helmets. What do you think about that shit? What do I think about that shit? Listen to this shit!

January 13th babe! It's on! The NHL is returning to action, and this bearded beer enthusiast cannot wait! Not literally. I can wait. I have to. We all do...Anyway...Herein lies a short clip of my thoughts on this juicy news, as well as some virtual windowshopping, hockey-style! Enjoy!

Have you ever wanted to know which NHL'er you are most like? Well now there's a way! The wife and I go back and forth answering the questions and offering some explanation/insight into our answers. Who are we most like? Listen with your ear holes! Here's a link to the quiz: https://www.thequiz.com/take-this-hockey-test-and-well-reveal-which-nhl-player-you-are/

Alright, so...I tried on this one because the subject warrants the utmost care and consideration. I delved into the story reported by Rick Westhead on TSN.com concerning allegations made by Jarrod and Erin Skalde against Clark Donatelli and the Pittsburgh Penguins franchise concerning Donatelli's alleged (and pretty much obvious) sexual assault of Erin Skalde...and the potential subsequent cover up of the incident. Here's a link to the story: https://www.tsn.ca/pittsburgh-penguins-told-ahl-coach-to-stay-quiet-about-wife-s-sexual-assault-lawsuit-says-1.1561342 This is a sad, sensitive and greasy story. If you'd rather not hear my take on the subject, you can skip to 30:39...where I talk about the NHL's new target start date for the season AND then we'll take a trip to Earth's moon as it appears in the Benderverse; where I'll select the next six pack you bring to the parking lot for pre and post game shenanigans.

Yours truly finally got his strange, spindly fingers on his grail jersey! Also, he went on a bit of a riff about the NHL cutting the cord. Would they? Could they? Who the fuck knows? I'm buzzed up, ten toes down, and digging the new Deftones White Pony remixes being leaked at a slow trickle. Be well!

We have an idea for a business...it involves giant turkey legs, medieval cosplay and hockey! Yes, I will grant you that the Penguins entry may have been inspired by their inaugural set of laundry; but that's still a jack move. Enjoy the marital shenanigans! Apologies for not venturing into the video realm of content production because that, obviously, would make this episode better....it's coming soon though...brace your motherfucking selves! Here's the slideshow link again: https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nhl/nhl-adidas-unveil-reverse-retro-alternate-jerseys/ss-BB1b47Qs?li=BB15ms5q

My first guest...is my wife! She adds her unique perspective to a review of the newest NHL money grab marketing scheme and it's, honestly, super insightful in a lot of ways. It's fun to do stuff together! Happy Turkey Day from our family to yours!...now get the fuck at it and murder that bird!...as long as it isn't a robo pigeon. It would probably taste like poor marketing. Gobble gobble (is the noise I think just fell out of my wife's mouth)! Here's the link to the slideshow we referenced. https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nhl/nhl-adidas-unveil-reverse-retro-alternate-jerseys/ss-BB1b47Qs?li=BB15ms5q

YO! In this episode, I ramble about my Thanksgiving hockey traditions and whether or not the continuation of such is a good idea here in 2020. Additionally, I talk a bit about the difference between beer and adult league...all the while attempting to justify my ridiculousness. Good times were had by me. If you'd like to comment or say what's up or whatever, you can find this bender or Instagram: pete_bushido_ftlnettwerk Happy Turkey Day, beings!

Yo puck people! In this episode, I list my all-time favorite goalie masks. I utilized a Bleacher Report article to inform my list. I'll leave the link at the end of this description. Also...you know that guy who constantly hassles the refs, giving your squad a bad rep? I do too. It might be me. Tune in to find the fuck out, humans! https://bleacherreport.com/articles/545279-the-50-best-goalie-mask-designs-in-nhl-history/

...when I was young I'm not a kid anymore but somedays I sit and wish I was a kid again....All due props to Ahmad Lewis for the way back lines from a dope-ass track. This episode provides a snippet of my experience as a human being discovering the game that would influence my life to this very day. This is, in part, how I became an adult leaguer. This is, perhaps, one line of lyrics to the love song I'd write about hockey. Additionally; I've been drinking Mad Elf, so...it could be THAT kind of love song!

How will the NHL stay (or become, depending upon your point of view) financially viable when there's zero gate money incoming? It for damn sure won't be from selling their acid reflux-inducing merchandise. Also, enjoy your rocket ship trip thru the Benderverse as I go on a rant about the absurdity of the name Tommy Tryhard being used as an insult. Stay safe out there. Even if shit doesn't really change, we can still make changes. Also...best episode number ever!

Was an actual adult league game played? Yes. Was I there? Yes. How did I play? Dogs**t. Also...I pulled up a Bardown article on the 25 worst NHL jerseys and gave my own critique. Here's a link yous can copy and paste: https://www.bardown.com/ranking-the-worst-25-uniforms-in-nhl-history-1.958223 Thanks to the Bardown staff for compiling this masterpiece.