The Heart of the Matter in Black and White

Today's episode features special guests Tiara Farmer, a registered nurse, and Craig Bell, a real estate agent, sharing their experience of being black in America. We look at this topic from the different perspectives of a man and a woman and begin by asking them what they love most about black culture. Their answers are rich from food to dance to music and entertainment. We then dive into the harder things they struggle with on a regular basis, like being afraid of the police or feeling embarrassment when someone with their skin color acts out in public. Tiara and Craig share some of the experiences they've had being mistreated due to the color of their skin and how they've worked to combat racial stereotypes. Their vulnerability and openness about the pain and disappointment of inter-racial friendships is very moving. And we end on a note of hope talking about the ways to make progress towards racial healing and understanding.

For today's episode on Race and Religion we welcome two special guests, Rev. James Ellerbe, bringing the faith perspective, and Micah Murray, host of the podcast the Existential Happy Hour representing the ex-evangelical viewpoint. We start by asking the question, "Why are American churches still so segregated today?" And then we explore other difficult topics like the role of black celebrity ministers as power brokers, how the term evangelical has become synonymous with white Christianity in the US, and the not-so-subtle ways that racism can show up in church. Both men open their hearts about their experiences with religion and uncover the ugly underbelly of religious hypocrisy. We talk about the role of white privilege and how it has shaped the absurd image of white, northern European Jesus, and we conclude by discussing what the role of the church should be in matters of racial equity.

On today's episode we revisit the film Uncle Tom by welcoming as our guest one of the black conservatives featured prominently in the documentary, Chad Jackson. Despite our wildly different ideologies, Chad graciously answers our questions and discusses what caused him to switch from being a Democrat to a conservative. He shares how he got involved in the production of the film and debates the merits of the different approaches to the "negro problem" that Booker T Washington and WEB DuBois promoted. Chad maintains that the South had more racial harmony during MLK's life than our history books teach and suggests that LBJ's war on poverty has hurt the black community rather than help it. We discuss whether the Democrats or the Republicans actually have the answers to our nation's racial problems, and Chad shares his view on the murder of George Floyd. While our viewpoints are worlds apart, we are grateful for the respectful dialog and the opportunity to discuss divergent beliefs in a productive and mutually challenging way.

One year ago on May 25th, George Floyd was murdered by police. His death was part of the reason we started this podcast, and on the one year anniversary we pay tribute to his memory and discuss where we are now on our very first live episode.

In part 2 of "Is the Justice System Rigged" we are honored to be joined by two attorneys who have spent their careers advocating for oppressed and marginalized people, CJ Griffin and Karen Thompson. The conversation starts with an acknowledgement that, while the law theoretically belongs to everybody, every measurable data point belies that there is no equal justice under the law. From who is pulled over and arrested to who is prosecuted and who gets the best plea bargains, the justice system is, indeed, rigged against African Americans. Citing numerous statistics about the ways people of color are disproportionately impacted, CJ and Karen discuss the war on drugs, unfair sentencing disparities, and the impact mass incarceration has had on the black community. Drawing from rich historical examples, such as the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850, we unpack how criminalization serves a distinct, financial purpose. Low-income communities of color are over-policed, and a small ticket that they can't afford can easily spiral into a bench warrant that traps them in an inescapable legal dragnet. While the issues discussed may seem overwhelming and hopeless, we end on a word of promise. Despite the mess that the criminal justice system is, many in our nation continue to press towards a better, fairer world.

We took a week off from the podcast but we are back this week with a big topic, Black Love. Essence begins by defining the term and framing it in the context of the centuries' long struggle in the black community to preserve the family unit. From a time when slaves were forbidden to marry at all and families were ripped apart to the modern struggle of homes headed disproportionately by single mothers, Black Love has been a constant battleground for survival. We get candid about the misconceptions of the term and how, for other races or mixed-raced couples, Black Love may sound exclusionary or even offensive. We also dive into the false narrative of the "fatherless" black family and dispel the myths about the absence of black fathers with their children using data from the CDC. This episode will challenge your unconscious bias and encourage you to dive deep into why representation matters. After all, you can't be what you can't see!

Today's episode has been requested by many of you, Raising Biracial Children. We have the privilege to chat with two amazing women, Meghann Myers and Rachel Owens, about their experience being mothers to biracial kids. With grace and poise they both share the things they love about it and some of the challenges that they've faced. From issues of personal identity to bullying and racism, Rachel and Meghann are candid and vulnerable about how hard it is to support children who straddle two racial worlds when they themselves are white. Their willingness to learn from their children and see the world through more empathetic eyes is a beautiful picture of what motherhood is all about. We ask them some deep questions about having the "talk", the impact of the video of George Floyd's murder, and how they honor their children's cultural heritage.

Today's episode is Part 1 of a multi-episode series on the justice system, one of the major systems contributing to systemic racism in America. We are joined by Nickoles Stankowski, a retired corrections officer who served at Trenton State Prison, the only maximum security facility in New Jersey. We start by asking about the socio-economic and psycho-social issues that disproportionately impact inmates, like poverty, illiteracy, and mental health struggles, and Nick talks about how once a disadvantaged person is caught up in the drag net of law enforcement without financial means for a robust defense, it's almost impossible to escape. He points out that not all laws made today are in the best interest of every person in the country. After all, slavery was once the law of the land. We debate the topic of "Blue Lives Matter" and the unspoken code that often exists among law enforcement officers to not hold one another accountable for bad behavior. Nick shares that some of the real issues facing law enforcement are actually themselves and their untreated mental health problems since suicide is one of the leading killers of cops, and we cover how the war on drugs has been a thinly veiled war on people of color. There are ways to deal with the police problem we have in this country, and we discuss the need for community policing, mental health training, and serving as a deterrent for crime rather than actively pursuing it.

From Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight fighter in the US who was called the "Big Black", to the rise of the athletic (code for black) quarterback in football, American sports has a checkered history. The lack of representation by people of color at the top of professional sports leagues, whether head coaches, managers, or owners, is a stark reminder of the systemic racism that dominates this area of life as well. On today's episode, Racism in Sports, we are joined by two very special guests, Carl Revels and Pop Little, who have dedicated much of their life to sports and jointly run SML Sports, a FIBA-certified sports agency. Carl shares a very personal experience of racism he had this past year coaching his town's midget football team when he chose to take a knee during the national anthem and the fallout of that controversy. We explore the differing responses various professional sports leagues have had in the wake of George Floyd's murder, and we unpack the complex intersectionality of what black female athletes face every day.

A lot has happened over the past few months while we were on break, and we are back to talk about all of it. First of all, we have our first black female VP of the United States, Kamala Harris! Let that beautiful truth sink in. Our Capitol was overrun by a mob of angry, predominantly white Trump supporters in January and we talk about how differently those terrorists were treated compared to Black Lives Matter protesters. We discuss how COVID-19 continues to impact communities of color disproportionately and how the life expectancy for black Americans has consequently dropped 2.5 years compared to just one year for white Americans. In the wake of the recent Bachelor racism controversy, our man Emmanuel Acho, and the inspiration behind the podcast, was made the interim host of the show (please be a guest on our podcast, Emmanuel!). And we take on cancel culture around Aunt Jemima and Dr Seuss, addressing when, if ever, it's appropriate to erase history. And rounding it all out, Essence gives her perspective on white people profiting off of teaching other white people how to be antiracist in the wake of Robin DiAngelo publishing her new book Nice Racism. It's an extra long episode because there's so much to unpack!

The topic of white privilege has been the thread that has gone through every episode of this podcast, so it seemed the perfect way to conclude the season. In our final episode, we talk about both what white privilege is and dispel many of the myths about what it is not. Talking with white people about privilege often provokes denial, anger, or total misdirection, but let us be clear. White privilege is not a judgment. It is a fact. Even for those who have grown up in extreme poverty, the advantages and protections that come with white privilege are very real. If you are white and poor, you still experience some of the benefits of white privilege. We reflect on many of the items on Peggy McIntosh's iconic list of white privilege that apply regardless of financial means. And to conclude this season, we provide practical guidance on how to use privilege for good. Thank you for listening and we look forward to next season!

Education is one of the major pillars of systemic racism. In 2016, predominately non-white schools received $23 billion less than white schools, and we know that money drives opportunity. Since public schools mainly get their funding from property taxes, discrepancies in wealth factor heavily into these financial disparities. In this episode we talk about the legacy of Brown vs Board of Education and how it was nearly undone by the 1974 decision Miliken vs Bradley. From Honors and AP classes that can serve as the "white track" within otherwise diverse schools to the funny looks that Essence gets when older folks learn she is a graduate of Johns Hopkins, we explore the difference between equity and equality and how the education system is so inextricably intertwined with other systems of institutional racism that it feels nearly impossible to solve the problem. We also give a nod to the Serial Productions podcast Nice White Parents that brutally showcases the fact that, if you want something to change in the education system, it has to come from the white parents.

Deriving strength, confidence, and a feeling of beauty from your hair is a profoundly human experience, whether you are a man or a woman. But systemic racism has tarnished that, teaching us that there is "good" hair and "bad" hair. Whether it's messages from an executive saying that wearing your hair curly at work is unprofessional or people who think it's appropriate to touch other people's hair uninvited, this episode is all about busting up the myths and mystery that surround black hair. Essence shares insight on how to care for black hair and Becky admits to being totally insulated from this issue growing up. And together they unpack the WHY surrounding the stigma of black hair, shed light on past scandals like Don Imus's infamous "nappy-headed hos" statement, and give a big shout-out to the beautiful animated short Hair Love.

We were inspired by the question of Emmanuel Acho, the creator of the YouTube channel Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man, to center this entire episode around the question do you fear white people? The answer may surprise you. We talk about the distrust that exists between the black and white community and about being willing to "put our fists down" to bridge the divide. We reaffirm that racism is NOT a political issue and shining a light on it does not manufacture it. At the same time, the new big smiles from random white people, may just be an over-correction and an attempt to say "I'm not who you think I am." Always remember that, in order to tear down the walls and heal the tensions that divide us, we have to start in our own circle of influence. The ultimate goal should be to get to a place where all people can answer the question of this episode with a resounding NO and affirm that we trust and love one another.

What stops white people from speaking up against racial injustice? Too often phrases like "Black Lives Matter" are misunderstood as political slogans, when in reality they are statements of human worth and dignity. In this episode, we talk about the differing lived realities of race for black and white and how for one it's a matter of life or death and for the other it can easily be ignored. Avoiding racial discomfort is part of privilege, and yet those who occupy that place of privilege have the unique ability to bridge a gap that otherwise cannot be crossed. We get candid about dealing with backlash online, letting your guard down and admitting you have racist ideas, and why taking a less frontal approach can be more effective with white people. This is a gritty conversation but one that has to be heard!

This is a lively conversation you won't want to miss. This episode centers on the film Uncle Tom released this summer and executive produced by Larry Elder. It features such prominent conservative black voices as Herman Cain and Candace Owens, among others, all promoting ideas like racism is not systemic but a disease of the mind and that hard work and education are equalizers. While we concur with the film's correction of the modern misuse of the term "Uncle Tom" and appreciate the civil tone of its interviewees, that is where our agreement ends. The film is full of inconsistencies, partial truths, and outright falsehoods that ultimately render it an inaccurate, naive, and at times self-loathing portrait of black conservatism in America. We touch on all of it from black on black crime to Planned Parenthood "abortion factories" to school vouchers to the fatherless black family. Buckle up. You're in for some passionate dialog.

The struggles of women in the workforce are real and many, and race adds yet another layer of complexity to that struggle. Discrimination against women of color in the workforce can often be subtle, causing those on the receiving end to feel invalidated and invisible. In this episode we discuss the reality of what it's like to be a woman in the workforce from the distinct perspectives of race. Whether it's being labeled "the angry black woman" or being expected to smile and make everyone in the room feel comfortable, the barriers that exist can often leave women distrustful of one another. We talk about the importance of companies providing pay transparency and women amplifying one another's voices rather than pitting our pain against one another.

When the term "systemic racism" is used, healthcare is one of those systems contributing to the problem. The facts speak for themselves. Black Americans face far worse healthcare outcomes across nearly every clinical category as compared to whites. In this important episode, we talk about why there are so few physicians of color and how when a black physician treats a black patient, the results are better for the patient. Our dialog touches on the lack of trust that often exists between patient and doctor following medical atrocities like the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment, Henrietta Lacks's stolen cells, and J. Marion Sims's butchery of enslaved women. And we reflect on income disparity and how a single payer system, like the NHS in the United Kingdom, could be a solution to the issue of access and affordability. We also plug a couple of organizations working hard to promote diversity in healthcare: Tour for Diversity and HUEDco.com.

Whether it's guiding a child during a racial crisis or actively raising anti-racist children, we should never underestimate the ability of our children to learn and live what is right. In this deeply personal and painful conversation, we talk about the role of Hollywood and the media in shaping racist ideas in our children and how to counter those messages. Essence opens up about having the "the talk" with her son one day, and Becky shares a teaching moment where her son confronted her for her own hypocrisy. If you care about the coming generation and how to equip them to build a more equitable future, you won't want to miss this episode.

In this episode of The Heart of the Matter in Black and White, we confront our racial fears head-on, beginning by acknowledging how much harder it is to identify fears when a person is the racial "norm". Starting with the fear of police brutality, we explore why, in a profession sworn to serve and protect the public, we both have observed negative experiences with law enforcement and whether that antagonism centers around race, gender, or both. We also examine the fears that come with being the only person in the room who looks like us and whether you can be your most authentic self in those settings. Other areas we discuss include what it's like to not go a day without thinking about our own racial identity, the ability to move to any neighborhood or start a business in any community without fear of blow back, and whether we connect first with our color or our gender. Thank you for listening and please join us next time when we dive into the topic of raising children during a racial crisis and how to raise anti-racist children.

Welcome to the Heart of the Matter in Black and White with Essence Revels and Becky Holloway. Let's make it clear that Essence is a black woman and Becky is a white woman, and, despite our completely different backgrounds, our deep friendship continues to evolve. In this podcast, we explore some of the hardest and most misunderstood topics surrounding race relations in our country, examining them through our different experiences in an effort to get to the root of the hatred and combat it with love. Following the murder of George Floyd, we both felt the need to do something. We were privately having hard conversations about the racial crisis before us, but we wanted to have a greater impact. And so we are sharing difficult and often painful discussions in the hope that you too will have them with your family and friends, seeking equity, justice, and healing. Today's episode covers the why behind the podcast and how we came up with the name. We also explore the emotions we each experienced watching George Floyd's murder (and why it needs to be called a murder), how divergent our feelings have been while participating in Black Lives Matter protests, and the one things Essence wishes all white people understood about being black in America. Thank you for listening to the Heart of the Matter in Black and White! Please join us next time when we will be discussing “The Truth Behind Our Fears.”