Truth and Reconciliation

Across misty fields, the bagpipes echo. Brave managers of the Ellwood Fantasy Football League, we've donned our war paint and gathered our clans, standing ready on the digital battlefield where honor is won and legends are birthed. As the parchment of our draft boards unfurls, each pick resounds like the thunderous clap of shields. Freedom from last season's defeats is what we seek; freedom to claim the crown that could be ours! Let no past failures deter us. This draft is our battlefield, and we are the warriors destined to carve our fate with every selection. They may take our points, but ...

(Cue the Wellerman Sea Chanty tune) There once were a band of managers keen, With fantasy drafts, keepers, and trades. They studied stats and scoured the news, To make their lineup, no time to lose. Soon may the weekend come, bring us points and wins and fun, Sunday, when the matchup is won, We'll celebrate and go. Well, Charles had a strategy so bold, Plays the waiver wire, fearless and cold, They look at the matchups and grin with a nod, Their lineup's set, ready to shock and awe. Soon may the weekend come, Victories sweet and losses numb, One day, when the season is done, We'll draft anew and go. Now Chris he plaid with ...

As the Squish Factor™ celebrates big wins in Week 6, League Managers scaffold their dry and dusty line-ups amid the bye-week drought of Week 7. T&R welcomes to the pod a special guest who quickly violates our NDA, Non-Compete, and Indemnification clauses simultaneously. Too bad he's more lawyered up than any of us. The trade block reeks of desperation while the league scrambles to record-manage, both in near-term crisis and long-term outlook, and the relentless sands of time fall heavy and daunting through the cold, heartless hourglass that is our fate. Could we be more dramatic? No, no we could not. It's the ...

Just in time for the first cold front of fall, league managers scramble to patch their rosters as Week 5 ushers in the first bye-week blast of the season. Team Rankings continue to squish as this week's lineup offers a monster head-to-head matchup amidst the mostly pithy slap-fights. And yet, as the wise Bobby Hill once said via his All-American athlete ventriloquist dummy, Chip, "a W's a W anyway you get it." And as Bobby's dad Hank poetically added, "my son plays with dolls. There, I said it." Chip is right, and every W matters. But with a bone-dry waiver wire and ...

Surprising Squish has arrived early as Week 4 begins with no team better than 2-1, mostly due to narrow wins and the bad beats brought by happenstance the schedule. League chatter is lively as waiver activity and trades abound, the latter including significant (but not unequivocal) exchange. Those with winning records look to increase their margins, while the rest seek a shift in momentum as Week 4 flirts — nay, whispers — of those dreaded, irrecoverable rankings, whose eerie voices can be faintly perceived on the distance but approaching wind. While it's not quite do-or-die, for some, it's certainly time to ...

It's Week 2 in the (P)Ellwood Fantasy Football League, and in addition to learning the P is silent, Week 1 was chock full of surprises. Namely, we were wrong. Wrong about everything. Our draft grades? Wrong. Week 1 predictions? Wrong-o. Power Rankings? Not even close. But look. As stated in our fine print, T&R is for entertainment purposes only. Not to sound defensive here, but what do you want from us? I mean, we put ourselves out there, week after week, ya know? We take risks in front of a global audience! (Probably). And for what? To be told "you're wrong and stupid"?! Well, PARDON ...

Now, here on this ragged patch of earth called the Draft Lobby, hordes face obliteration. A-ooh! Just there the barbarians huddle, sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers -- knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the swords and spears of the 12. A-ooh! The enemy outnumber us a paltry 11 to 1; good odds for any Greek. This day we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny, and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine. Give thanks, men, to the Ellwood Fantasy Football League, and the brave 12. A-ooh! A-ooh! A-ooh! To victory. It's the greatest fantasy football league ...

Alright alright alright! It's the final countdown as we mighty men emerge from hibernation and step out into the sunny rays of fantasy football. That's right, the 2023 Draft is upon us. Like the morning dawn, the season ahead offers bright promise and hopeful future. Anything is possible, and much is expected. The 2022 season offers a plethora of narratives waiting to be redeemed, and never before has our league champion(s) and incumbency carried such asterisk. The stage is truly set for opportunity. But to thrive, one must survive. So shake off the cobwebs, lick the wounds, and polish your past accolade ...

And then there were six. Six fierce competitors sit in the coveted seats of the 2022 Playoff Bracket, each with formidable chances of a successful run. And while their victories may be short-lived, their 2023 "incumbent" status and badge of honor is secure — and that can't be taken away. So here's to you, gentlemen. Enjoy the spoils, for this Sunday, we dine in hell. If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead. And to our fallen comrades, those Unfortunate Six ...

A chaotic wind blows as the league is wrought with statistical anomaly. We teeter on Squish Factor™ while not one—but two—teams have yet to claim a win on the eve of Week 8. How is that even possible, you might ask? How could two talented managers, each with the medals to prove their own chops, have such a record?? Forget skill—how is it even statistically possible? Exceedingly rare though it may be, it is a reality that once again proves what we all know to be true about our league: we are a special snowflake. It's the greatest fantasy football league in ...

Tensions are high as the League faces an existential crisis: the reckoning of variable draft dollars and its implications this season and beyond. In this episode, two mighty managers square off in public discourse — the kind that reminds us the value of democratic process, respectful dispute, open forum, and constructive debate for the greater good. Just kidding, it's a blood bath. The free-for-all melee has begun, and the night will be darkest before the dawn. In the midst of the madness, let us all remember (and agree upon) one critical and universal truth: Rules. They're what separate us from the animals. It's the ...

It's Week 4 of the Pellwood Fantasy Football season, and Occam's Razor slashes fiercely at the hopes and dreams of many a manager. The few who have avoided its cuts stand unscathed and triumphant while others seek only to stem the bleeding. However, one manager's blood loss is different than the rest. Widely accepted as the league's villain, this Pellwood Staple's 0-3 start — and even more challenging schedule ahead — provides the League with a certain hope: schadenfreude. A sense of pending justice and league-wide catharsis is rising in the air. The Man Who's Good At Everything is...suffering. — ...or is he? Turns out, ...

Week 1 is over and done, and what's not to love? Everything. All of it. Let it burn. This week we're joined by the first brave soul to challenge the alleged Podcast Curse: Chris "Chewie" "It's All Uphill From Here" Clark, who enters week 2 looking to climb out of a pile of Golden Poo. Week 2 notables include the T&R Bowl, the Chris Bowl, and several 1-0/0-1 matchups looking to bring balance to ye ole Squish Factor (TM). It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS is its ...

In less than 48 hours, fantasy football managers from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest fantasy battle in this history of mankind. Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July 9th of September, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should ...

Alright alright alright! Smell that? Smells like mock drafts, spreadsheets, podcasts, and pagan rituals offering blood to the fantasy gods. It's football time, and the Pellwood League is kicking off yet another thrilling season to be filled undoubtedly with highs and lows, comradery and backstabbing, sickness and health, and the occasional blown ACL. It's the drama we live for, the friendships we'd die for, and all the marbles up for grabs as we once again gather 'round the infamous draft lobby — that dusty, stained Colosseum in which we modern-day gladiators prepare to spill our blood, sweat, and the occasional tear — ...

We're at better-late-than-never-but-really-late-sorry status here at T&R as we present to you the episode you've been waiting for: The Reckoning Of Charles Gaines. Week 7 was a doosey, and it's been downhill since then for most* managers as more and more key players become inactive, on and off the field. Looking ahead to week 9, only one team has 6 wins — meaning Squish Games are in full effect, in more ways than one. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS is its ...

While the war wages for Top Dog, another race has emerged in the Pellwood League: Who will be the greatest underdog? Charles sits alone at 5-0 in a streak fueled recently by Antonio Brown and personal anti-curse measures, including ducking the media and maintaining what we only assume is JoBu levels of ritual. Chris sits alone at 0-5 after Pete nets his first W. Both are looking to capture Mo' and hang on for dear life. For the rest of us, a sense of breathing room may lure us into a false security, as the past two weeks have proved: whether incumbent ...

Bowl Week is upon us! Week 5 features multiple bowl games of significance — both in relationship and record — including: T&R Bowl - The Pod Hosts' grudge match Waskow Bowl - Father and son pretending this matchup won't effect Thanksgiving Squish Bowl - Chewie v Derrek are two powerhouse teams with even records While it may seem like fun and games, every manager knows...well, it isn't. It's super cereal, you guys. With every W counting, teams will look to avoid the raggedy edge which only draws nearer. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and this is it's ...

It's week 4 as the League's closely-matched peloton of competitors begins to diverge into three distinct groupings. While no manager is down for the count, Week 4 is the kind of week that gives porch-rocking old men a prophetic pain in their bones that only they can interpret: "storm's comin'." A distant thunder rolls in the air. The faint smell of impending deluge rises. What can save us from the inevitable flood destined to sweep away managers whose teams are built upon the sand? Squish Factor, is what. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS is its ...

It's the eve of Week 3 as a small percentile of the league sits at the envied 2-0. But it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll, and the injury lottery seems as random as it is just. Whether or not you believe in — or pray to — the fantasy gods is irrelevant; their influence remains omnipotent. Meanwhile, healthy Wide Receivers are as scarce as sympathy in the Pellwood League. It's only Week 3, and the bitter clawing has begun as managers hope to scratch and gouge their way to the almighty W. Whether ...

Week 1 is in the books, and if our chatter-factor is any metric at all (and it should be), it was an interesting season kickoff to say the least. While some in our league were regaled by the fruit of their drafting labor, plenty still were left wanting. And even fewer still, though you know who you are, count their W's with homage to the fantasy gods (and their personal pandering efforts). One thing is certain — the Power Rankings don't lie. Win, or lose; this is the game. And we, its pawns. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, ...

You should see the Draft Lobby, Spaniard. Fifty-thousand Romans watching every movement of your sword, willing you to make that killer blow. The silence before you strike and the noise afterwards. It rises. It rises up like a storm. As if you were the thunder god himself. Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity. Ultimately, we are all dead men. Sadly we cannot choose how but we can decide how we meet that end in order that we are remembered as men. And when you die – and die you shall – your transition shall be to the sound of ...

It's been a long day without you, my friend And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again We've come a long way from where we began Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again When I see you again. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and this is its ...

And then there were 6. The race to the playoffs did not disappoint....except for those who..uh..didn't make it.  But what a finish it was, with a surprise sleeper upset and a discombobulated bracket.  Congratulations to Chewie and Brock for securing the first round byes (each via their own, vastly different means). The gloves are off and niceties are history.  It's every manager for himself, whether you're competing for ultimate glory, top score, toilet trophy, reputation salvage, or simply avoidance of the SATs.  Good luck, and ...

It's Week 13.  After a "brief" hiatus, the boys are back with another thrilling rundown of the week ahead.  We're just in time, as our Game of Thrones culminates into an epic playoff race saga. The attractive and talented Oberyn takes on the formidable Mountain as they duke it out for the #1 spot and first round bye. The wealthy Lannisters spend all their FAAB in a last ditch effort to secure an army. House Stark and House Fray prepare to cut each other's throats at a red wedding matchup. The Night Watch Rangers are watching the wall.  (You just keep doing you, ...

After a brief hiatus, the boys are back to squash the rumors of a fallout in the T&R relationship. Despite Pete's multi-season run of hauntingly narrow losses to the better man, they are in fact still friends. This week, we welcome Jared Lorenz to the show as we mourn with those who are mourning.  Despite COVID routing four starters from his roster, Jared still looks ready to win week 4, set a league record high score, and ultimately march straight to an exciting round 1 playoff bye followed by a swift and dramatic clenching of the 2020 trophy.  You're welcome. Meanwhile, ...

Rubber meets the road as the 2020 NFL season kicks off, throwing our formerly whimsical dream-teams into the fiery reality that is the weekly match-up.  Wheat shall be threshed and, more grievously, chaff shall be burned. In Week 1, we welcome league-newcomer Brian Kidd as we talk draft, team Bean Dip, and legitimacy of certain curses. Brian wastes no time dropping a t-shirt worthy quote on us, and we're in awe.  Just when the greatest fantasy football league in the world couldn't get better... We're glad to him and Fleming aboard (and we look forward to having JF on the air ...

The dust has finally settled on the field of human clay.  The 2020 Draft was a brutal collision of wit, stamina, research, and 4.5% ABV.  These, gentlemen, are the times of our lives. And this is THE episode.  You've been weighed and measured, and (some of) you have been found wanting.  In a league this competitive, however, the line between success and failure is razor thin. Ultimately, hats are off to each of you for your prowess in the auction draft battlefield.  No one came unprepared for war.  But enough with the warm and fuzzies.  As in any battle, there were ...

Alright alright alright! In a year that has been anything but ordinary, we're pleased to bring you what has become an anchor to us all: it's T&R 2020. We're back, baby. This season kicks off with a bang as we welcome two new league members, an additional flex spot, and a draft that is sure to be explosive.  Gentlemen, it's time. Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. If you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?  I am not throwing away my shot.  I am young, scrappy, and hungry, and I'm not throwing away ...

Twelve Little Indians hoped to cross the Playoff line;  three went and choked themselves, and then there were nine. Nine Little Indians, four of which secure;  five go to battle, yet only two shall endure. Six Little Indians will make the final stand;  five will meet their folly by the lone victor's hand. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS is its ...

Too little, too late? We think not.  This one was a riot, and it represented a dramatic turning point within the league as the competition shifted back to divisional play. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll...cringe awkwardly in a few moments.  Worth the listen, because... It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS is its ...

After a brief hiatus, T&R is back on track as we scrutinize ESPN rankings, matchups, and everything in between.  No one is safe from the critical mouthpiece of the great and powerful Pod, and it's good to be back. The drama builds as two teams face certain peril, while the podcast curse will surely finally catch up with another (you know who you are). Injuries and byes have potmarked every line up, and Week 7 promises to be an ugly, bloody battle. There's no room for softness, not in the Pellwood League. No place for weakness. Only the hard and strong may ...

With a bloody Week 5 in our rearview, most eyes are looking forward as the Week 6 byes and waiver wire drys (SIC) further ravage an already beat up board of players. Last week's surprises were a-plenty, as some managers emerged from their low-point depths to conquer with gusto, while still others folded like lawn chairs. Week 6 promises only one certainty as King Squish sits on his mighty thrown, quietly pulling the strings as he nobly puppeteers our rankings into order. His wrath will fall upon only one: a lone manager will kneel at 1-5. It's the greatest fantasy football league ...

A curse is a curse, of course of course, and no one can shake off a curse of course. That is, of course, unless the curse is a double neg-a-tive! Go right to the source and test the curse. We'll interview you and endorse your Week 5 match up, it's sure to force a season-ending-in-jur-reeeey!!! *Takes a bow* You're doomed. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS is its ...

The Squish battle rages, but the war has just begun.  Most teams are 1-2. A few are 2-1. And a lone 3-0 victor stands on his 3-week high hill, victorious for the moment, but a target on his back. The waiver wire abounds in moves.  The trade count is stacking up.  The delicate tension of respectful comradery could break at any moment, likely to dissolve into the angry cesspool of bitter competition we all know and love. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS is its ...

**Editor's Note: This broadcast was intentionally withheld past its due date to avoid aiding and abetting the collusion discovered upon conducting the guest interview contained within.** Too little, too late, but certainly likely to be the best episode of the season thus far, we present to you T&R Week 3.  The fellas are joined by current former steamroller and current future president, Charles Gaines, whose on-air disclosures of what is, at best, collusion, and, at worst, a total abuse of the T&R podium offered to him.  You dishonor the microphone, sir! But I digress.  Put on your hindsight goggles and judge us accordingly ...

And here we go. The season is upon us, and with it all of the unexpected twists and turns that can be..uh..expected..in such a competitive and savvy league. Early front runners seek to hold on to their video game performances.  A few lack-luster scoreboards from week one motivate several managers to recover from their black eyes. The waiver wire heats up, and the trade banter begins.  Plus, the opinions of this podcast's experts are called into question. It's everything we know and love in the Pellwood league, plus a little extra. It's the greatest fantasy football league in the world, and THIS ...

We came, we saw, and we drafted.  The dust and ash of the draft battlefield (drattlefield?) continues to settle, and the echoing cries of the wounded and bleeding can still be faintly heard as surviving loved ones anxiously search the hellscape for any sign of... Wow, sorry, that was a darker path of thinking than was probably necessary. Or was it? This is it.  THE episode.  You have been weighed, measured, and celebrated or scourged appropriately. The grades are in. Your timestamp of review can be found here: Jared | 18:39 Michael | 23:04 Andy | 25:58 Brock | 29:23 Charles | 31:28 Chewie | 34:58 Pete | 37:29 Scott | ...

Alright alright alright!  The boys are back in town, and though the airwaves are filled with well-intended (and very entertaining) cheap knockoff imitator wannabes, the real slim shadies are standing on up. It's T&R, back for another thrilling season as we kick off the Pellwood 2019 Fantasy Football season.  And, if we may say so ourselves, we hardly discussed the superiority of the auction draft in this episode (though we think it's pretty safe to say it's implied...). New rules rule the day, and pre-season jitters abound.  The countdown is on til the happiest time of the year. It's the greatest fantasy football ...