Podcasts about takes

Understanding Artificial Intelligence in Dentistry Episode #436 with Dr. Marty Jablow Artificial intelligence isn't taking over dentistry — yet. But it is changing what dentists can do. AI can enhance your dentistry, and Kirk Behrendt brings in Dr. Marty Jablow, president of Dental Technology Solutions and “America's dental technology coach,” to explain how AI can improve diagnosis, boost treatment planning, and help you to help your patients in brand new ways. If you want to take your dentistry from Jurassic Park to state-of-the-art, listen to Episode 436 of The Best Practices Show! Main Takeaways: AI is an enhancement for dentists, not a replacement. Understand why you need a particular piece of technology. Ask yourself what the technology is going to do for you. Choose the technology that is right for your practice. You don't need a high budget to be high tech. Don't be on the trailing end of technology. Quotes: “We're in a place now where we're not necessarily doing something new, we're just finding better and more efficient ways to do them.” (4:10—4:18) “If we take it out of dentistry, there are many places — there's radiology of the brain and things like that — where [AI is] as good as a radiologist. What that does is it opens it up for other people in places that may not have that expertise to get that expertise. If I'm in some unforsaken place that doesn't have that kind of person available, well, that may mean that I can use this AI to make a better diagnosis than I would maybe on my own.” (9:23—9:53) “When I've used [AI] real-time in my office, it might point out areas that I need to look at. It's not necessarily making the final diagnosis. That is still left to me. Takes a human being to do that. It's complex. But with that, it points out areas that are suspect. And with that, then I can use other data points — see, that's the whole thing. To me, it's all about how many data points can I have to make the best decision possible. Well, the AI is looking at these radiographs and making that determination from the radiograph.” (9:55—10:34) “Ultimately, do I think [AI] will lead to a decrease in dentists? Yes. Will it be any time in the next 10 years? The answer is probably no. But ultimately, yes, because technology is going to catch up with a lot of things. It won't catch up with abuse, neglect, and all of those things. That, it won't be. And accidents. But what it will do, and I've seen some of this, we're going to have more precision in what we do.” (13:08—13:36) “If I can place something in a patient's mouth and have a laser drill the very minimum to get things accomplished, and then restore it almost in the exact same manner, it's going to be beneficial to everyone.” (13:42—13:56) “[AI] may not take the doctor out of the room — it's the number of doctors that you need in the room.” (14:44—14:49) “Whenever you're going to implement or want to acquire new technology, there's one important question: what is it going to do for you? That's first off. And then, is there an ROI? Now, not all ROI is necessarily money. Sometimes, dentists need something to kick them in the butt to get excited about dentistry again, or something new and different, or that kind of thing. So, when I look at that, I kind of look at it the same way. But the first thing is, what are you asking it to do for you? Is it going to make your life more efficient? Is it going to give you better treatment? Is it going to give you better outcomes? What is it going to do? Because if you can't answer that question, why do you need it?” (16:40—17:25) “You have to pick what works for you. And why do you do it? So, an example would be, depending on the cost of your crown, can you make enough money to justify the mill? I think everybody can justify an intraoral scanner. But can they justify the mill, the $50,000 to $75,000 for the mill and the cost of the blocks? Because you can get crowns now, done — now, depending on what you're doing and...

Blaire is finally back on The MiscELENAeous Podcast to catch us up on her travels abroad... They chat about Lisbon, again, before jumping into Blaire's reunion with her pup Waffle and where they're off to together next! Elena also gets to hear about their time in Bali and Thailand... and Blaire had some hot takes! There was also a surprise caller and serious discussion about the term, “Daddy”, that you are guaranteed to enjoy!

Hope in the Ordinary This series of devotions are meant to serve as a simple reminder of God's presence in the ordinary moment of everyday life. Throughout the summer, we'll share a devotion each week to remind you of God's presence and the power of hope. Every week, you'll find the scripture, prayer, and reflection question on the website along with links to other devotions. Read 1 Corinthians 13 (MSG): If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2 If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always “me first,” Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. 8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. 11 When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. 12 We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. Reflect Listen to the above podcast. Respond Gracious God, thank you for the extravagant love you show me, even through red notification circles on my cell phone. Thank you for loving me for who I am and loving me enough to transform my life. Most of all, guide me today to be the one who trusts steadily, hopes unswervingly, and loves extravagantly. Amen. Return  At the end of the day, return to this question:  What interaction today sent you a notification, “you are loved”? Give God thanks for the people, places, and spaces you experienced today.  Return next week for another devotion on Hope in the Ordinary. Listen to Episode 234 - Hope in the Ordinary - For the Birds

Chris Levy continues his stand atop the leader board, but one of the many stories this week includes a match-up between two of our hosts and how you can feel bad while winning huge. Catch us on Tiktok and Instagram for OutTakes, HotTakes and Frank's Takes. Subscribe on YouTube for video versions of all shows! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/itsthebigs/support

What is a definition of a good salesperson? In this week's episode, our guest is Fred Diamond. He is the host and producer of the Sales Game Changers Podcast and is the co-founder of the Institute for Excellence in Sales (IES). He is also an advocate for Lyme disease treatment and is a frequent article contributor to LymeDisease.org. His books, “Love, Hope, Lyme” and “Insights for Sales Game Changers” will hit bookshelves on in July.   In this conversation, we are reminded of the virtues a salesperson must have in order to become successful - a deep understanding of the customers' needs, the company's offers, and perceiving sales as a profession than simply a task to accomplish the quota. Fred Diamond also touches on the idea that it takes time for a salesperson to build trust with their customers. Listen closely as we discuss diversity in sales, how to create a successful sales process, and what makes a good salesperson in today's world.   Listen and enjoy!   [00:01 - 09:08] Opening Segment   Fred on cultivating his passion for sales Working in high-tech marketing Realizing the importance of salespeople  The urgent need for support in sales success Check out Sales Game Changers   [09:09 - 21:55] What it Takes to Be a Great Salesperson   Defining a good salesperson Believe in the company and understand–  Customer needs The product Sales as a profession How the little things matter Realize that your offers may not be the right solution Display proactiveness and show up as a partner for the clients Building trust requires more than a couple of phone calls   [21:56 - 40:42] Tips for Better Performance from Sales People   Fred's advice on establishing relationships with clients People need solutions from people they trust There is no need to play ballgames, just honest answers Put yourself in the head of the customer How introverts can outsell you They think about the needs of the customers They know that they need to engage with people   [40:43 - 46:10] Closing Segment   The effects of world events on people's lives Learn more about Fred with the Rapid Fire Questions!   Connect with Fred  Follow him on LinkedIn and check out his podcast, Sales Game Changers for more tips on successful sales strategies.    Don't miss his recommendations - The Introvert's Edge by Matthew Pollard, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, and Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.     We're a passionate bunch. Together, we help your business flourish. Visit: https://ptexgroup.com   Let's Talk Exits! Check out my new podcast on Apple Podcasts:   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lets-talk-exits/id1606747718   Connect with Ptex Group: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn   LEAVE A REVIEW + and SHARE this episode with someone who wants to achieve in business. Listen to previous episodes on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts!    Key Quotes    “The salespeople were the key. I had to support these people, I had to do things to make them successful by getting the right messaging in the marketplace, bringing the right products to market, and helping them target the marketing programs and their customers to accelerate the sales process.” - Fred Diamond    “A great sales call is one where the customer does 90% of the talking.” - Fred Diamond   “Sometimes, to be a great salesperson, you're not going to sell something, maybe you bring them a better solution.” - Fred Diamond   “The great sales professionals are conscious of having a diverse team to support their diverse audience.” - Fred Diamond

The Buffalo Sabres traded their star Captain and...got better? Hear Walter Zurowski of Sabremetrix bring some optimism for the Blue and Gold to Victor and Jesse. We cover pros Tage Thompson, Jeff Skinner, Alex Tuch, Kyle Okposo, Dylan Cozens, Peyton Krebs, Casey Mittelstadt, Rasmus Dahlin, Henri Jokiharju, Jacob Bryson, Owen Power, Craig Anderson, Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen, Devon Leviand Erik Portillo. Dan Tiffany does "Tiff's Takes" on the goalies. In the Dynasty Dig, Victor and FHL Scouts Tony, Danick, and Jamieson break down Owen Power, J.J. Peterka, and Jack Quinn. With the help of poll results from @NHLRankKing Mason Black, Jesse and Victor debate comparisons between these three and similarly rostered prospects elsewhere in the NHL. Our show is presented by Fantrax.com and proud to be a part of the Dobber Podcast Network. Email fantasyhockeylife@gmail.com and ask to join our free discord. Join our Patreon at Patreon.com/fantasyhockeylife for rankings, bonus podcasts, in-depth prospect reports with video, show notes and more. Listen and subscribe wherever podcasts are posted - and give us 5 stars! We want to be your best place to talk about the game of dynasty fantasy hockey. For an explanation of tiers, check the @fanhockeylife twitter.

The Line Opinion Panel reacts to President Biden's weekend visit to our state. The panel discusses the President's pledge to cover all the costs associated with the Hermit's Peak/Calf Canyon Fire, and who will be left behind with the current reimbursement strategy. Our Land Executive Producer Laura Paskus talks with two reporters about their experiences covering the largest wildfire in state history and how you can apply for aid money if you've been impacted by the Hermit's Peak/Calf Canyon Fire. More than 20 years ago, in 1998, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and partner agencies released Mexican wolves into the wild for the first time since the wolves had been driven to extinction in the United States in the 1970s. Today, a population of wolves lives in the Gila National Forest and across the border in Arizona. The program isn't without its challenges, and this year, the Black Fire ignited in the Gila National Forest during denning season, where it's affecting four wolf packs. Maggie Dwire, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service's Deputy Mexican Wolf Recovery Coordinator, talks with Our Land Executive Producer Laura Paskus about the Mexican Wolf and recovery efforts. Line Host: Gene Grant Line Opinion Panelists: Tom Garrity, Garrity Group Public Relations Rebecca Latham, CEO, Girl Scouts of New Mexico Julie Ann Grimm, editor & publisher, Santa Fe Reporter Our Land Executive Producer: Laura Paskus Guests: Maggie Dwire, assistant wolf recovery coordinator, Mexican Wolf Program, US Fish & Wildlife Service Patrick Lohmann, reporter, Source NM Adria Malcolm, freelance photojournalist For More Information: Biden: Whatever it Takes, as Long as it Takes – Santa Fe New Mexican Biden Ramps up Federal Help for NM Wildfire Fight – Associated Press Locals Find a Bit of Hope in President's Promises – Santa Fe New Mexican Wildfire Victims Living on Land Grants Will Not Qualify For Federal Aid - KUNM Recovery Area Map Black Fire Maps & Information Apply For Assistance- FEMA Adria Malcolm – Freelance Photojournalist Patrick Lohmann – Source New Mexico --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nmif/message

 Sports. Entertainment. Little to no culture. Takes from the minds of two sportswriters who know a lot about nothing. In this episode, Ed and Adam discuss their thoughts on Hunter Renfrow's 2-year, $32M extension. Also discussed, are Davante Adams's comments comparing Aaron Rodgers and Derek Carr. And also hear what Adam calls soup... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vamos conversar com Daniel Costa, que foi correspondente e cobriu a guerra da Ucrânia. Visitou diversas cidades, incluindo Kiev, capital da Ucrânia e ameaçada de ser invadida pela Rússia. Ele vai nos contar em detalhes como foi essa experiência única e vivida por poucos brasileiros. Porque resolveu ir até a Ucrânia? Como foi atravessar a fronteira? Como estão as pessoas por lá? Como é a rotina e dia a dia na guerra? Teve medo em algum momento? Sentiu o perigo real, o risco de vida? Se arrependeu em algum momento? E muito mais no Podcast Sem Freio transmitido ao vivo! SEJA MEMBRO DO CANAL E RECEBA BENEFÍCIOS ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpVW4P0TGhGUMPUgH4y1fXw/join INSCREVA-SE NO CANAL ► https://www.youtube.com/user/dimitrikozma?sub_confirmation=1 Pauta livre em que vai valer tudo sem freio, em nosso papo de bar, dia-a-dia, filmes e assuntos aleatórios que são trazidos de acordo com a conversa. Sem Freio e desgovernado na contra-mão, vale tudo em nosso papo de bar, entrevistas, dia-a-dia, atualidades e assuntos diversos que são trazidos livremente de acordo com a conversa, sem censura. PARTICIPANTES DESSE EPISÓDIO: Dimitri Kozma, Daniel Costa, Francine Kozma CONTEÚDO DESTE EPISÓDIO: Porque resolveu ir até lá? Teve ajuda de alguém? Como foi atravessar a fronteira? Como estão as pessoas por lá? Brasileiros na Ucrânia Nazismo na Ucrânia * Zelensky tem apoio do povo? Fim da guerra como vai ser? Inflação na Ucrânia Televisão Censuras * “Eu tenho que existir” * Guiche de imprensa ver a autorização * é proibido filmar na maioria dos lugares fez uns Takes no trem e quase foi preso As pessoas falam para os soldados quem está filmando Russos Rotina, dia a dia na guerra Método de pesquisa * Chaveiro na Turquia * Teve medo em algum momento? Sentiu o perigo real, risco de vida? * Se arrependeu em algum momento? * Histórias que mais o chocou / tocou? * Inveja dos russos * Cenas de violência Pilhagem Vida civil Crime de guerra * Que lado está torcendo? Bala com porco * Exército sucateado * LINKS COMENTADOS: CONTATOS DO DANIEL COSTA @daniel_costa_oficial E-mail de contato do Daniel Costa ► daniel.costa@openeducacao.com.br Livro: Inteligência Cultural para Profissionais Brasileiros: Negócios e Trabalho em um Mundo sem Fronteiras (Portuguese Edition) PODCAST SEM FREIO #36 - INTELIGÊNCIA CULTURAL E OS CHOQUES CULTURAIS - Entrevista com Daniel Costa ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpAkrSKDHQA ACOMPANHE A GENTE: INSCREVA-SE NO CANAL DIMITRI KOZMA SEM FREIO ► https://www.youtube.com/user/dimitrikozma?sub_confirmation=1 Sem Freio Podcast Cortes [OFICIAL] ►https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRCf-4jaZfgt9JEjhTICKEQ?sub_confirmation=1 CANAL DIMITRI KOZMA ART ►https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC65XKZ1QSlCpLmNUmw3Dy0g?sub_confirmation=1 CANAL É A VIDA, MEUS QUERIDOS ►https://www.youtube.com/eavidameusqueridos?sub_confirmation=1 CANAL KOZMA GAMES ►https://www.youtube.com/kozmagames?sub_confirmation=1 CANADÁ DIÁRIO ►https://youtube.com/canadadiario?sub_confirmation=1 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/dimitrikozma/message

Dear Black Dragon, as a full patched member of a national club, what does one do when they love their club but have issues with their chapters leadership? Thanks Unkle Lou.Hello Black Dragon your advice is always on point. I have another question if you dont mind. Can/should civilians or 99's ride side by side? Or is that only an outlaw formation? Thank you sir ML&R first off. 2nd...I'm a disabled combat veteran starting a 1 peice Veteran only MC. We will never except anyone with prior MC affiliations aka we won't farm. Takes a year to get in no diamond no territory no rank tabs. Do we as Veterans still need to ask permission from dominant Clubs? And how do we go about it the best way like what do we say? Thank you in advance BD and happy belated birthday even tho you already liked my comment wishing you a happy birthday lol. Also I grew up partying with the Magic Wheels MC and Brothers of the Sun MC have you heard of them? thank you for your time sir.Join us as we discuss!Help us get to 10,000 subscribers on www.instagram.com/BlackDragonBikerTV on Instagram. Thank you!Follow us on TikTok www.tiktok.com/@blackdragonbikertv Subscribe to our new discord server https://discord.gg/dshaTSTGet 20% off Gothic biker rings by using my special discount code: blackdragon go to http://gthic.com?aff=147Subscribe to our online news magazine www.bikerliberty.comBuy Black Dragon Merchandise, Mugs, Hats, T-Shirts Books: https://blackdragonsgear.comDonate to our cause with Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BlackDragonNP Donate to our cause with PayPal https://tinyurl.com/yxudso8z Subscribe to our Prepper Channel “Think Tactical”: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-WnkPNJLZ2a1vfis013OAgSUBSCRIBE TO Black Dragon Biker TV YouTube https://tinyurl.com/y2xv69buKEEP UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackdragonbikertvTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/jbunchiiFacebook : https://www.facebook.com/blackdragonbiker

Hey Murder Muffins! We've got a wild and wonky episode for you today! The internet seems exhausted, but our tenacious podcast hosts found a few things to chat about. Julie wrapped up some cult-y miniseries, Nick tried to brave The Boys, and they both found some comfort in easy comedies and the Netflix Stand Out comedy special. Also plenty of goofy tweets, a lil bit of drag race and a game of Scattegories. Show Notes: @1:00 - Hot takes | Kpop, Miz Cracker visits the Queen City, The Boys, The Deep End, Stand Out, Nick vacation planning, Keep Sweet Pray and Obey @28:15 - Tweets of the Week | Hey Murder Muffins! @49:30 - Drag Race All Stars | Draguation Speeches @1:00:30 - Game | Scattegories Want to support us and get fun extras? Join our Patreon! Like 30 Rock? Like Nick and Julie? Listen to them on their 30 Rock rewatch podcast: Blerg! (@blergpodcast) wherever you listen to Takes.

3rd Week of June, 2022   ------

Much appreciation to Stauna Soanes @stauna.shades For coming on Conversations of The ❤️ And dropping alot of knowledge. The goal of this episode is to provide you tools to get you hired & paid. Takes lots of notes and please share! Topics Of Conversation: -Salary & Benefits Negotiations -Choose where YOU work (You Are the Prize) -Revamping Your Resume Tips -Interviewing Best Practices -LinkedIN Utilization -Positioning yourself for promotion -Annual Raises Conversations -Navigating racism & bias in the workplace -Your BRAND at work Let's get you hired AND Paid!! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/conversationsoftheheart/support

They open the show reacting to last night's Phillies implosion, the poor defense, and the bad fielding (0:00). Next they discuss a story about a Pest Control company in Tampa offering people money to let them release roaches into their house, and in Cooney's Corner, Bob asks about the Flyers coaching search (24:36). Next, they discuss the Phillies loss more, and then they are joined by Adam Schefter to discuss the latest with the Eagles and the NFL (46:19). Then they discuss the implementation of a pitch clock in the minor making games much shorter, Pat discusses some of the weirdest recent news Stories in Pat's Takes, and John asks the others about some Top 5 Lists (1:09:33). They try to predict the Eagles players production, and discuss the difference between Rob Thomson and Joe Girardi (1:32:47). Next they do a new Segment Called “Stupid S*** Our Friends Say,” and in Cooney's Corner Bob talks about if Phillies need better homegrown talent (1:56:00). They discuss if Devon Allen actually has any chance to make it in the NFL, and in pat's Point of View Pat talks about Mickey Moniak being sent down (2:19:02). In the final segment, they discuss the implications of the LIV Tour, and then Bob gets some advice from David Uosikkinen the Drummer of the Hooters on how to write music (2:42:10).

Well, crypto is not having a good week, but Seth Green did get his bored ape this week. If that doesn't make any sense to you, listen in because we've got plenty of other tech news, tips,  picks, and gift ideas to help you tech better. Followup:   Apple Beta follow-up (01:10) Wyze on Matter standard (05:30) Wyze Scale X (07:10) iOS 16 Joy-Con support (10:00) Twitter will provide all data to Elon Musk (11:25) Cryptowatch: Celsius pausing all withdrawals, swaps, and transfers (12:55) Seth Green got his Bored Ape back (16:05) Dave's Pro Tip of the Week: Enable Privacy report (16:45) Takes:  No Google LaMDA AI isn't sentient, Google Says (23:50) Formula shortage tracker (27:10) Some ads play on streaming while TV is off (29:30) Big tech layoffs in 2022 (31:00) Google is combining Meet and Duo (33:00) Bonus Odd Take: Scale of thing Htwins.net - Mark and Toddcast episode (34:20) Picks of the Week:  Dave: AUBIKA Elite Strap with Battery for Oculus Quest 2, Extend Playtime&Counter Balance&Charging 2X as Fast, Head Strap Replacement Accessories (37:35) Nate: Pocket Knife for Men,KINGMAX Stainless Steel Folding Knife,Perfect for Camping Hunting Fishing Indoor Outdoor,Survival Knife with Pocket Clip,Glass Breaker,Gifts for Men Women Dad (Grey) (41:40) Find us elsewhere: https://www.notnerd.com https://www.youtube.com/c/Notnerd https://ratethispodcast.com/notnerd https://www.tiktok.com/@notnerdpod https://www.twitter.com/n0tnerd/ https://www.instagram.com/n0tnerd https://www.facebook.com/n0tnerd/ info@Notnerd.com Call or text 608.618.NERD(6373) If you would like to help support Notnerd financially, mentally, or physically, please contact us via any of the methods above. Consider any product/app links to be affiliate links.

The Best of Today's show. They react to the Phillies loss, talk to Adam Schefter, and then it ends with Pat's Takes. 

Ben jumps to 2nd in the standings after a magical Sunday has him explode for a monster win. Joe and Mike also both win this week as they discuss all the movement inside The Bigs! Find us on TikTok and Instagram for Hot Takes, OutTakes, and Frank's Takes. Find us on YouTube for video versions of all shows. Find us on Twitter @TheBigsPodcast. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Today's episode is about how to use risk to get out of anxiety and depression with special guest Dr. Kristen Lee About Dr. Kris Dr. Kristen Lee, Ed.D., LICSW, known as “Dr. Kris”, is an internationally recognized, award-winning behavioral science professor, clinician, researcher, author, activist, and comedian from Boston, Massachusetts. Her new book Worth the Risk one of The Next Big Idea Club's Season 18 Nominees! As the Lead Faculty for Behavioral Science and Faculty-in-Residence at Northeastern University, Dr. Kris's research and teaching interests include individual and organizational well-being and resilience, particularly for marginalized and underserved populations. She operates a consulting practice devoted to preventing and treating burnout and is the author of RESET: Make the Most of Your Stress, Winner of the Next Generation Indie Book Awards Motivational Book of 2015, and best-selling Mentalligence: A New Psychology of Thinking: Learn What it Takes to Be More Agile, Mindful and Connected in Today's World. She is a regular contributor for Thrive Global and Rethink Your Way to the Good Life on Psychology Today. She is the host of Crackin' Up: Where Therapy Meets Comedy Dr. Kris's work has been featured on NPR, Ted, Fast Company, and CBS radio. Watch her TEDx talk, The Risk You Must Take, and YouTube videos here. In her spare time she can be found laughing at her own jokes, attempting tricky yoga poses, drinking kale smoothies, and eating peanut butter cups, but not all at once. This was such a fun episode, and I can't wait to share it with you! - Henry ____________________ Crackin' Up: Where Therapy Meets Comedy Dr. Kris's Website Instagram -------------------------------- Support the Podcast -------------------------------- Get your free Positive Mindset Meditation! -------------------------------- Social Media Say hi on TikTok Say Hi on Instagram -------------------------------- Schedule your 30 minute Success Session -------------------------------- Email Me henryg@findyourpositivemindset.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/positive-mindset-podcast/support

Podcast 296: Forced Empathy: A Master Class--Part 2 of 2 Last week you heard part ! of our work witt Zeina, a young professional woman struggling with a conflict with her mom. Zeina feels like her mother is too critical of her, and she finds the criticisms devastating. In today's podcast, you will hear my co therapist, Dr. Jill Levitt, and I, doing Forced Empathy with Zeina, and you will hear the exciting conclusion of the session. I am including the entiere show notes from last week, in case you have not yet reviewed them. Show notes from last week commence here. Today Dr. Jill Levitt and I do live work with Zeina Halim who has been experiencing some intense negative feelings because of her mother's criticisms of her. Zeina is a member of my weekly training group at Stanford and has appeared on the podcast on several previous occasions (Please provide numbers plus link to podcast page on website.) Zeina is one of our small group leaders in our Tuesday training group.  She works with teens and adults in-person in her office in Menlo Park and also provides tele-health sessions for clients living anywhere in California. Dr. Jill Levitt is the co-leader of my Tuesday training group at Stanford and will be my co-therapist today. We hope for some more of the “magic” that frequently appears when we do therapy together. Today's podcast will illustrate a number of teaching points, including these: Forced Empathy: We illustrate exactly how to use this powerful and sophisticated technique. When I first created this technique many years ago, I thought there would be little interest in it, so I rarely taught it in my workshops or training groups. In the past several years, an intense interest in this technique has emerged, so you will get to see exactly how it works. Five Secrets Resistance: There has been great interest in the Five Secrets of Effective Communication that are featured in my book, Feeling Good Together. When used skillfully, they can have a phenomenal effect on any troubled relationship. I am even aware of a case of a woman who was kidnapped at gunpoint by a violent serial rapist who planned to kill her. Out of desperation, she used the Five Secrets I had presented at a workshop he had just attended, and he let her go and turned himself in to the police. The Five Secrets literally saved her life. And yet, many of us stubbornly refuse to use the Five Secrets with family, friends and loved ones. Why do we fight against the very tools that would rapidly bring us peace, love and joy? And what can we do about our own internal “resistance”? The “inner” and “outer” solutions: Whenever you are involved in a conflict with someone, there are two battles raging at the same time. One is the “inner battle” with your own negative thoughts, telling you that you're no good, or that the other person is to blame, and the voice that powerfully urges you to do battle. We approach the “inner battle” with the familiar Daily Mood Log, that helps you pinpoint the distorted messages you are giving yourself. You will see that those messages—the way you talk to yourself when you're upset—are loaded with distortions; such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralizations, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Mind-Reading, Labeling, Should Statements and Hidden Should Statements, Emotional Reasoning, Other-Blame, and more.In today's session, we do battle with Zeina's distorted thoughts with the Externalization of Voices, arguably one of the most powerful psychotherapy tools ever created. The EAR Checklist / Relationship Journal. The “outer battle” involves the words you use when you respond to the other person's criticisms of you. Here we use the Relationship Journal, another super powerful tools that allows you to analyze your own statements with the EAR Checklist and see the shocking reality that you are creating the very conflict that you are complaining about so vigorously. This involves one of the “Great Death” of the self, which can be profoundly painful, but it also leads to liberation from your self-created misery and the chance for renewed love and connection with the person you feel so alienated from. Two-hour sessions. You can do far more in a single, two-hour session than in many 50 minute sessions scheduled at weekly intervals. I have often said that this is how I always do therapy, and if you have some therapy skills, this model is vastly more effective and cost-effective as well. It puts you under pressure to accomplish something today, right now, and not in the vague or distant future. Uncovering Techniques. You will see how you can use the Man from Mars Technique to uncover more of your patient's negative thoughts and core beliefs. This is just another way of doing the classical “Individual Downward Arrow Technique” that I developed way back in the 1970s. The Acceptance Paradoxes. There is a great deal of talk these days about Acceptance is being an important key in many schools of psychotherapy. But what is acceptance, and how do we teach it to our patients and colleagues? Today's session with Zeina, who has a great interest in Buddhist philosophy and practices, illustrates one of more than 20 paths to acceptance, and this one in particular will teach you the steps in accepting others, especially when you are desperately trying to change them and you are insisting that they “shouldn't” be the way they are! Self-acceptance is always about grasping a gigantic paradox—and that's why I've always called it the Acceptance Paradox, which states: Accepting yourself as you are, warts and all, is actually the greatest change a human being can make. Can you see why this is a paradox? It's because the very moment you accept yourself, everything about you and your world will appear to change. Now here's another acceptance paradox we will explore today. The very moment when you accept another person exactly as she or he is, that person will suddenly change. Of course, that is the exact opposite of what we usually do when we desperately keep trying to “change” them, a strategy that actually forces them to be the very monster you are trying so hard to destroy. By the way, do you know what the plural form of paradox is, when you combine Self- and Other-Acceptance? The plural form is called the Acceptance Paradise. T = Testing is crucial! You cannot do truly effective therapy without the T = Testing. You will find out EXACTLY how effective—or ineffective—you are in every session with every patient. When you listen to the podcasts, you can ask yourself questions like these: How effective are Jill and David being? Will they get good empathy and helpfulness ratings from Zeina? Will we see any reductions in Zeina's powerful negative feelings at the start of the session? Will she make a breakthrough in her relationship with her mother? At the end of the session, you will see the answers to these questions. And if you're a therapist, that kind of powerful and precise information will allow you to grow and learn as a therapist, especially if you approach the information with humility and respect for yourself and your patients. There is almost no limit to the evolution of your therapist skills if you use the T = Testing model I have developed. There is almost no chance for personal growth if you do not use these or similar assessment tools. However, the price of growth is steep. You have to be willing to see your own failures and errors at every session with every patient, and this will often be painful. But this is the pain that can lead to your own personal transformation along with the blossoming of your own superb therapy skills. Today, in Part 1 of the Zeina session, you will hear the T = Testing and E = Empathy parts of the session. Next week, in Part 2, you will hear the very brief A = Assessment of Resistance, which really only included the “Miracle Cure Question: ”What, really, are you, Zeina, hoping for in tonight's session?” You will also hear the amazing M = Methods portion, which will start with Forced Empathy, followed by Externalization of Voices and Five Secrets Practice, along with the final T = Testing and homework assignments for Zeina following the session. Rhonda, Jill, Zeina and I hope you enjoy the podcasts and learn a great deal from them. And we all want to thank you, Zeina for your courageous and brilliant work, sharing your inner self so openly and generously. I believe that sessions like the one our fans will witness today and next week have the potential to provide hope and healing to people around the world, not only today, but for decades to come. At least, that is my hope! I also want to thank you, Jill, for your extraordinary teaching and clinical skills, and for your brilliance and warmth. Thank you for tuning in! Rhonda, Zeina, and David Here is a follow-up note from Zeina Hello David, Jill, and the Tuesday group, Boy, do I have an update for you all! So, at first, I struggled, and I was very worried to have to potentially send an update to the group that may have been disappointing. On Saturday, I saw my mom, and I shared with her the insights that I had in our session. She was appreciative, but I didn't feel very connected to her. I had talked with her about this while she and I were on a walk, and I wondered if maybe walking while talking was taking away some of the intimacy or connection that might have happened if we had been looking at each other while talking. I also noticed that while I was externally behaving somewhat better if my mom criticized me, internally, I still hadn't progressed very far. I would still feel very distant from her; and I still wasn't doing the five secrets. Today, on Sunday, I saw my mom again. While she did not criticize me, we still got into a little bit of an argument. I was a bit angry, but as I let myself cool off, I noticed myself feeling incredibly sad inside--like a sadness that had been building and building over the past few weeks. I tried to talk with my mom about it, but she resisted at first. We had a project that we were working on together today and she thought it would be better if we talked on another day and got back to our project; I insisted, however, and asked that we please talk today. I did not realize it at the time, but I think I had some major hidden emotion stuff happening with my mom (more on this later, perhaps some hidden sadness that was masquerading as anger). I shared with her that I had felt incredibly sad and genuinely worried about our relationship. I recently moved in order to live closer to her and see her more often, but I had noticed that almost every time she came over to visit me at my new place, we would get into an argument at least once. I shared that these arguments had really been weighing on me and worrying me. I also told her that I noticed that we would get into arguments when we were at my place, but not as much when I visited her at her place, maybe because I am so particular about how I like things to be at my place. She, then, said in a very gentle and loving way, "I think ‘particular' about your space is the operative word here." I realized that she was totally right, and I was so pleasantly surprised by how gentle and loving she was when she said it. Feeling encouraged by how the conversation was going, I shared more and said that I had noticed that I had become more sensitive around our arguments lately and that I was feeling very disconnected from her, and I didn't know how to get reconnected with her. I also shared that I had been feeling lonely in my life in general lately and made a guess that maybe my loneliness was making me expect more from our relationship. Additionally, I also guessed that I might be feeling more drained emotionally because I am doing more hours of therapy per week than I have ever done in my life, and maybe I had yet to find the right balance of how to recreate and regenerate my energy in my off-hours. I shed many tears all throughout this whole conversation. I checked in with myself and noticed that I was feeling more connected to my mom, but there felt like there was still more, particularly about my loneliness. This next paragraph might seem like a major tangent, but hang in there!--I promise it is all connected :) Then, I switched gears a little bit to share with her a different conversation and insight I had had in the past week or so about my recent feelings of loneliness. I had been having a conversation with my very dear friend, James, about how I had been feeling lonely, but was not feeling as drawn to connecting with most of my girlfriends, but only really drawn to my guy friends. Initially, I thought it was a male-female difference, but then I noticed that I was feeling drawn to my new friend Leigh Harrington, who is female. I realized that maybe the difference had more to do with the fact that almost all my male friends and Leigh were quite funny and playful people, whereas most of my girlfriends were more serious people. As for myself, I tend to be a more serious person and am not as funny or playful as many people. I realized that I was relying on other people for my laughter, playfulness and fun, rather than learning how to create that myself. Having just done some flirting training with Matthew May earlier that week, I saw that humor, like flirting, can be a learned skill and might have more to do with a willingness to take risks than an innate quality that people either have or don't have. I was feeling excited that I could learn to be funnier and flirtier and create more laughter in my life, instead of relying on other funny people for this. I shared all of this with my mom. She then went on to make a further connection that really blew me away. She said, "I bet if you start to be funnier and create more laughter for yourself and others, you will also start to feel less lonely." It felt so true! The times I feel most connected to people are when I am laughing with them. THIS is the kind of relationship and connection with my mom that I had been missing lately--when I share deeply with her and, because she knows me so well, she is able to further my insight and understanding of myself and help me to grow. I feel so connected to her now. I realize now that I think part of my resistance to using the 5 secrets with my mom was maybe a hidden emotion component--I had these deep feelings and worries about our relationship; I was confused if moving closer to her had actually helped our relationship or if it was harming it, and I was genuinely missing these kinds of deep, connecting conversations with her, which we had not had in a while. My mom has been hanging out at my place all day today and now I notice myself being easily loving and patient with her and my being "particular" about my things and my space has vanished--at least temporarily! There are a lot of take-aways for me from this whole thing, but one of the biggest ones is that I think I was trying to do five secrets without really fully going into my "I feel" statements as much as I needed to--I feel statements are often the secret that I neglect the most as a person and as a therapist. So, to connect to what we are doing this week in class, I think I would make a guess that when I ignore the five secret that I need to do the most and struggle with, it can hamper my ability to do the rest of the five secrets effectively and genuinely. I could write a lot more about all of this, but I think I will stop here for now. I hope this wasn't too confusing as I know I touched on a lot of different things. Thank you all for your time and attention. I'm open to comments or questions. Warmly, Zeina Here is a reply to Zeina from one of the Stanford Tuesday group members Gosh! Zeina, this is beautiful and so straight from the heart. Takes immense courage to do a deep dive in exploring oneself. I have been marveling at how meticulously you‘ve sifted through and worked towards addressing the different dimensions of the relationship between you and your mum. You are also an amazing raconteur, you've brought out the subtle nuances so beautifully! Your mail took me on an emotional roller coaster ride. It was such a compelling read and had me as a captive co-traveler, holding my breath, and crossing my fingers! I loved your insights on the “I feel”. Reading that was a personal breakthrough for me, where my relationship with my mum is concerned. That's exactly what is missing in our relationship too … whoaaaaa! I just don't share my feelings with her! I love how you were able to do that though, because I can feel this huge wave of resistance engulfing me, despite my insight. I know I'm not yet ready to take the next step! Funny, how tough it can be to be vulnerable before one's own mom! More power to you Zeina for ‘daring greatly' and taking the next step after the Tuesday class. Also, for keeping us posted and for sharing with us in such a detailed manner, and in the process, helping us all learn and grow. Deep regards for your mum as well. She comes across as a tenacious mother of a tenacious daughter … if I may say so. Warmly, Nivedita. Here is a second follow-up from Zeina. Hello David, Jill and Tuesday group, I just wanted to send another update as my relationship with my mom has continued to evolve in quite beautiful and magical ways since I sent this last email.  It seems to me that maybe she has stopped criticizing me entirely--I'm not quite sure.  Maybe I need to pay more attention.  Perhaps if she does criticize me, she does it in a gentler way or maybe I am less sensitive to it.  All I know is that she has been wonderfully supportive of me in these past few weeks and we have not gotten into a single argument.  Our relationship suddenly seems easy in a way that I have never experienced before.  I am so profoundly grateful.  I know that we will probably relapse at some point and this may not last forever, but, now I know this is possible.  Now, I know my way back here.  I have always wanted a relationship like this with my mother, and I always thought it wasn't possible because of who she was as a person. Little did I know that to have the mother I always wanted, I needed to do the changing. I knew that the 5 secrets were powerful, but I had thought that their power was more confined to a single interaction or the moment when you use them.  I don't know that I have been especially good at practicing the 5 secrets with my mom lately, yet the effect seems to keep lasting and lasting. I am truly speechless at the profound transformation that has happened.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I would love any responses! Zeina Here is some of the feedback from the training group in the section, “What did you like the best about today's training session?” Jill's thoughtfulness in selecting the Forced Empathy technique over the Relationship Journal. Jill looked at what had worked in the past for Zeina and saw it as a potential strategy for her current concerns and the result was tremendously positive. I loved the training! I loved watching forced empathy and I began to empathize with a close relative simply by watching Zeina empathize with her mom. I was crying throughout. It is hard to describe how touched I was Zeina's honesty and her responses to forced empathy was amazing! Amazing personal work. Entire session was great learning experience for me. How Forced Empathy brought the shift in Zeina's way of thinking. I really enjoy witnessing the live sessions including this one with Zeina. Seeing how the totality of the model comes together in real time with the clinician's judgment and intuition guiding the specific process is really enlightening and seeing someone's beliefs shift in real time is very inspiring and moving. It was a really nice way to re-join the larger group and I'm glad to hear that went into David's thinking in scheduling it. I really like the Forced Empathy. Zeina had a lot of resistance at the beginning. However, She shed tears during doing the Forced Empathy. I also like the role reversal when doing the Externalization voices. I can always learn how to deal with the difficulties of life from David and Jill's wisdom. The whole thing was so great. I was really moved by the forced empathy. I always LOVE seeing forced empathy modeled to get better at this complex skill, and I am also, like many others, almost always blown away with how powerful it is. I also thought this was a great example of multiple paths (individual mood and relationship work) and multiple methods being all used in one two-hour session so skillful and masterful. I loved the open ended approach and the ongoing exploration until the goal was formed/explored/ discovered. For me, it was a demonstration of trust in the process. I especially liked David's "The Man From Mars" that seemed to me an amazing tool with sorting out the mess of relationship work. I also loved Forced Empathy especially here with the work on mother daughter's relationship. I am really intrigued to explore it for myself in regard to my relationship with my parents and my daughter. Seeing the whole encounter with Zeina and seeing how Jill and David thought through it together, it was all so organic and incredible to witness Very helpful to see the progression of the session. Zeina's session has been a gift not only to us, but also to our mothers. Forced empathy felt like a pivot point in treatment and I loved that Z was able to go deep and connect with her mother's feelings. I have plans to travel and visit my mother next month and have been feeling anxious about it. I was reminded of the unconditional love of a mother that is beautiful and spiritual. David and Jill did amazing and transformational work. This is so inspiring! I liked everything and how the methods and techniques were woven together very skillfully. Personal work is really the best and so gratifying to see. David made a comment at the end about how it would help with motivation to use the skills and work more on them after seeing them in action and I do agree with his comment even if I'm totally not paraphrasing correctly. I LOVE personal work because it bring these skills to life in a way that role plays don't. and of course, it's all the better that someone gets a personal benefit, that's all good too. David and Jill did an amazing job again! However, Zeina's honesty and vulnerability was the greatest gift during this session. I could relate to her struggle as well, so I was extra impressed about her determination to work on this issue. It was amazing personal work for me. I feel so grateful for this experience. This was another example of the "magic" of TEAM, especially when the therapists are the incredibly skilled Jill and David. What a great, vulnerable and poignant example of relationship issues with a parent. I was very impressed and moved by the power of the Forced Empathy technique. By Zeina's ability to feel into the point of view of her mother, and her insights and connections, especially around how the times of criticism can be seen as opportunities for greater acceptance and love. Moving and really beautiful personal work!!! I was moved to tears when Zeina cried her mother's tears during the Forced Empathy exercise and said "I need her to accept me as I am." Wow--that was so powerful! And as for so many others, this experience felt super relevant and helpful to me for one of my own important relationships, and I'm feeling excited to try out Sergio's approach on my own loved one. Forced Empathy: I loved all of it! So helpful and informative to witness live work. I immediately got why the “what's my grade?” question was skipped (since the use of the Forced empathy technique had yielded such powerful results). I am eager to try this with a particular client who is having similar issues with their mom. On a more personal level, I felt extremely close to Zeina and seeing how vulnerable and open she was willing to be. This has melted away a lot of my resistance in using the 5 secrets with my own mom. Thank you Zeina! I liked seeing the "visitor from Mars" used to uncover Zeina's thoughts when David was having trouble understanding what the issue was. It was great to see David feeling a little "lost" and see how he worked through that. Watching the Forced Empathy technique was amazing! I also appreciated when Jill offered several options for which direction to go and explained her rationale. I found it to be a helpful learning moment and also liked the warmth that came across. I saw my mom's critical behavior as coming from love-brought tears. Same for my Dad Zeina did really powerful and enlightening work! It was also a great learning experience to observe David & Jill. I have enjoyed listening to and learning wonderful techniques from Jill and David. I can definitely relate to parent's/child criticism conflict myself, so I have learned some methods of effective communication, empathy skills, especially the opposite empathy (where you step into the shoes of a person you have a conflict with) and learn to empathize strongly vs feeling frustrated and having blame thoughts I love every time we do personal work. I always learn and grow so much personally and professionally. Thank you, Zeina for this amazing gift, and thank you, David and Jill for your masterful work. I loved every moment of it! Amazing personal work! I enjoyed the entire process. I appreciated the partnership between David and Jill. I so appreciated Zeina's work and vulnerability. I like David's creative way of doing the Ind. Downward arrow using "man from Mars" perspective. I liked getting to see, again, the power of Forced Empathy, as it illuminated how we create the very behavior in the other, that we then complain about. I loved how Zeina surrendered to doing the Forced Empathy exercise with such wonderful openness. I loved the seamless way Dr Burns and Jill moved between the methods. And Zeina's courage to be vulnerable. Had an aha moment myself - of course her mother will criticize her because the last thing she wants is for Zeina to have disastrous finances like her own. It shows deep love and caring Another Master Class! I loved watching David and Jill working with Zeina. Change the Focus is just an amazing Method. I appreciate Zeina's vulnerable disclosures. Such generosity is much appreciated. This is an amazing group, and I feel privileged to learn from such sophisticated practitioners, who are so generous with their insights and decades' worth experiences. Some days I just can't believe my luck to be with such heartfelt, dedicated, compassionate and wise folks! I very specifically like seeing a long personal work session...the big picture seeing the whole session. Thank you! I learned so very much and how things smooth into each other as session progresses. It was great seeing Forced Empathy demonstrated as I've never seen it before and learned so much from the overall training with Zeina, David and Jill. So glad Zeina was willing to be so vulnerable; really appreciated at the end when she said she felt pressure to empathize with her mom if she was vulnerable with her and mom laid it on thick, was wondering the same exact thing in that very moment! Loved how David diffused that for her and put less pressure on how she would handle it! So grateful to be part of this awesome group where I am growing and learning every moment! The hi quality demonstration of Five Secrets empathy by David and Jill Jill's patience. David waiting for AHA MOMENTS and pointing them out and best of all ZEINA! Personal work is always insightful. I really like the forced empathy technique. I also enjoyed the display of creativity and flexibility of the team model. Amy would regularly explain that it was a model to be used creatively and it's exciting to know there is so much to learn. It can be adapted to each individual. Viewing therapy as a series of skills to learn rather than a step-by-step instructional book is what makes me really love TEAM. Loved how Dr Burns used the individual downward arrow so seamlessly during the empathy phase. Dr Burns empathy too was spot on when he said to Zeina that "she could not lean on her Mom." This one line was really powerful for me and resonated deeply. Loved Jill's internal solution as well as the forced empathy option along with the option of working on the good reasons not to do the 5 secrets. Jill was on a roll with her empathy ... "feels like you're walking on eggshells and don't know what will hurt her." I also liked Jill's disclosure about the times she gets critical with her boys are times when she is most concerned about them. Also liked Jill highlighting how Zeina practicing the Five Secrets was not working at a point because she was not using enough feeling empathy unlike as when doing the Forced Empathy  

It's Pride Month and we're kicking it off with Joel Kim Booster and Bowen Yang in the gay Pride & Prejudice retelling: Fire Island on Hulu. Spoiler alert: It's delightful. We wrap up our weekly scaries with Elizabeth Moss and Andrew Garfield finding resolution (sort of) in Shining Girls and Under the Banner of Heaven. Then we head into a treasure trove of tweets (and other nonsense), more gay stuff on Drag Race All Stars, and a game of Password! Show Notes: @1:30 - Hot takes | Fire Island, Real World Homecoming, Under the Banner of Heaven, Shining Girls, Legendary, Ziwe, French Open final @39:00 - Tweets of the Week | The Ocean is haunted @1:02:00 - Drag Race All Stars | Fairy Tale Justice @1:11:00 - Game | Password Want to support us and get fun extras? Join our Patreon! www.takespod.com Like 30 Rock? Like Nick and Julie? Listen to them on their 30 Rock rewatch podcast: Blerg! (@blergpodcast) wherever you listen to Takes.

1st Full Week of June, 2022 ------

Jack Thursday - All it Takes is One Deal (LA 1781) Transcript: Jill K DeWit: I don't know what that was. Steven Butala: Steven and Jill here. Jill K DeWit: What was that? Steven Butala: I don't know. Jill K DeWit: You're like smelling my neck? Steven Butala: No, I don't know. Our producer's told us we're supposed to pose every- Jill K DeWit: They're going say what the hell is that? Steven Butala: Yeah. Steven and Jill here. Jill K DeWit: Hello. Steven Butala: Welcome to the Land Academy Show, entertaining land investment talk. I'm Steven Jack Butala. Jill K DeWit: And I'm Jill DeWit, broadcasting for the valley of the sun. Steven Butala: Today's Jack Thursday. And I'm going to talk about how it only just takes one deal. Jill K DeWit: So I'd love to know what you mean. Like one deal that gets started, one deal that make your career, one deal to get people out the door? I don't know. Steven Butala: When I was a young person with Ferraris in my eyes, a young professional person, all I saw was just, "I want to be rich. I want to be rich. I want to be rich." And that's not the furthest thing that you should be telling yourself. What you should be telling yourself is, "I just got to get that first deal done. One single deal." Jill K DeWit: That's it. Steven Butala: Focus on that deal. And then when you're on deal number 32, focus on that one deal. That's what this is about. It just takes one deal, and then the next deal. But don't worry about the next deal. Jill K DeWit: I like it. Steven Butala: Before we get into it- Jill K DeWit: Now, we're going to leave the show. Steven Butala: I know. Before we get into it, let's take a question posted by one of our members. Everybody's like, "Thank God. They're not going to do the show." Jill K DeWit: Yeah. That's it. Bye. Steven Butala: On landinvestors.com, online community is free. Please don't forget to subscribe on the Land Academy YouTube channel. And comment on the shows you liked. Jill K DeWit: Greg wrote, "Update. I have a question for anyone that wants to answer LOL. I know Steve stresses the importance of having a schedule. And I was curious about those who are sending out a lot of mail per month. How much mail are you sending per month, and how many hours would you say you work per week? Also, do you find there's a certain way of doing things that make things easier like Steven talked about getting all the mailers done once per month and just scheduling them out for the rest of the month? Also, which aspect of the business do you feel absorbs most of your time, picking counties, pricing, due diligence, finding brokers, and getting price opinions, et cetera? Thank you. I'm just curious to see what other people's experiences have been, and see how I can become more efficient with my time or how I can improve." Really? Steven Butala: Yeah. What's most time consuming you think? Jill K DeWit: Okay. Well, let me think. Answering the phones, but then I don't even have to do that much. Somebody else does it. So if I was doing it myself, it would be the inbound calls Steven Butala: Combined, and I hear people in career paths say this all the time. Combined, I think we spend about four hours a week. Jill K DeWit: Yeah. Steven Butala: Anything beyond that is kind of a hobby/habit that I have. Because I troll for new markets all the time, or I'll troll within markets that we're already successful in and see trends. And so do I spend more than four hours a week combined doing that? Yeah. But it's because- Jill K DeWit: That's good. Steven Butala: ...I have an unhealthy- Jill K DeWit: You should be doing that. You're always ahead. Steven Butala: Yeah. Jill K DeWit: That's important. That's so important. Steven Butala: Finding an agent, you only have to do that once or twice per market. Closing a deal, you shouldn't do that at all. You should have somebody else do that on the buy on the south side. Doing a mailer, you shouldn't do that at all.

The show opens with John's thoughts on the Phillies' great win last night and continued hot streak! (0:07-23:44). Bob wonders how long Jalen Hurts' leash is this year (23:44-46:44). An Eagles storyline we should avoid in 2022 (46:44-1:09:59). Pat's Takes (1:09:59-1:32:58). The debut of 5 Questions (1:32:58-1:58:12). The Listener Suggested Segment of the Day (1:58:12-2:19:20). The guys play Stay or Go (2:19:20-2:40:27). The show wraps up with an unbelievable stat from baseball (2:40:27-END).

Chicago had a tough season on and off the ice. Greg Boysen of CHGO Sports joins Victor and Jesse to break it all down. Patrick Kane, Alex DeBrincat, Dylan Strome, Jonathan Toews, Kirby Dach, Dominik Kubalik, Taylor Raddish, Philipp Kurashev, Sam Lefferty, Tyler Johnson, Sth Jones, Jake McCabe, Calvin De Haan, Connor Murphy, Kevin Lankinen, Collin Delia, Arvid Soderblom, and Drew Commesso. Dan Tiffany talks goalies in Tiff's Takes. In the Dynasty Dig, we talk Lukas Reichel, Drew Commesso and Arvid Soderblom. We talk about comparisons using results of polls by @NHLRankKing's Mason Black. Our show is presented by Fantrax.com and proud to be a part of the Dobber Podcast Network. Email fantasyhockeylife@gmail.com and ask to join our free discord. Join our Patreon at Patreon.com/fantasyhockeylife for rankings, bonus podcasts, in-depth prospect reports with video, show notes and more. Listen and subscribe wherever podcasts are posted - and give us 5 stars! We want to be your best place to talk about the game of dynasty fantasy hockey. For an explanation of tiers, check the @fanhockeylife twitter.

Vikes Bites, a break from Takes and other talkers filling up the first hour #92Noon!

Chuck is back! On this episode, Gautam, Charlie, and Matt break down what they like and dislike from the Warriors so far coming out of Game 2 vs. Boston. The boys also share their thoughts on another Klay Thompson slump and Kerr's tricky conundrum in navigating both Thompson and Jordan Poole's up-and-down post-season. The boys close the pod with a calibration of their series outlooks and share their Takes of the Week--all of which address responses to officiating in NBA games. Be sure to leave us 5 stars and say hello to us on Twitter @Game6KlayPod --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Joseph O'Connor is the founder of the Neuroscience Coaching Centre, Co-Founder of the ICC, The International Coaching Community. Joseph is one of the worlds most renowned experts on NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming and written dozens of articles, over 20 books and education material on NLP and Coaching. In this show you can learn about: What Neuroplasticity is and how we could develop it. How can we coach the brain? The difference between experiences vs. the medical parts of the brain What is hot cognition and why it is so important?   Join our Tribe at https://leadership-hacker.com Music: " Upbeat Party " by Scott Holmes courtesy of the Free Music Archive FMA Transcript: Thanks to Jermaine Pinto at JRP Transcribing for being our Partner. Contact Jermaine via LinkedIn or via his site JRP Transcribing Services.   Find out more about Joseph Joseph's website: https://www.coachingthebrain.com Joseph on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephlambent/ Joseph email: joseph@thecreatorsclub.net     Full Transcript Below   Steve Rush: Some call me Steve, dad, husband, or friend. Others might call me boss, coach, or mentor. Today you can call me The Leadership Hacker. Thanks for listening in. I really appreciate it. My job as The Leadership Hacker is to hack into the minds, experiences, habits and learning of great leaders, C-Suite executives, authors, and development experts so that I can assist you developing your understanding and awareness of leadership. I am Steve Rush, and I am your host today. I am the author of Leadership Cake. I am a transformation consultant and leadership coach. I cannot wait to start sharing all things leadership with you The Leadership Hacker News How many leaders does it take to change a light bulb? Well, the answer's one, however, it takes seven or eight leaders to decide that it's the right light bulb to change that it needs changing now, and that we have the right technical kit and equipment to change the light bulb. So where am I getting at here? Well, I asked a question. What is the optimum number of leaders that we need typically in a quorum to make the right decisions? There's lots of research about this. So, I dove into Harvard Business Review and Governance today. Harvard Business Review claims that seven is the right number and odd numbers in fact of any criteria is a good thing. While Governance today said it was eight to ten. Getting back to your actual number, think about the benefits of a large group. The more people you have, theoretically, the better chance you have getting the best information. However, if that said seven or ten have really opened channels of communication, have created a flow of information through their workforce, then it is probably the right number. What is critically important however, is the diversity of that seven to ten, making sure they bring social sensitivity to situations, making sure that they reflect the true voice of their workforce in those meetings and have the real clarity understanding of expectations from not only their workforce, but their shareholders too. Going way back to the 1970s research concluded by Hackman and Vidmar on the Optum size of groups for membership, communication and outcomes actually composed an optimum size of four point six. This is based on research and science and still holds true somewhat today. Their study concluded that senior teams operate best when the optimum size of number is about seven. Correlated with our recent research, the research and studies provide evidence that the more the numbers are in a team and particularly a leadership team, the more likely the team is to encounter problems with its functioning and its outcomes. So, getting the size right, get the diversity of your team, right, tick, but let's not forget. Engagement of that team is incredibly important, and size alone is not sufficient in creating a winning success. That success depends on you as the leader of that leadership team, encouraging, engaging, and facilitating great conversations so they put their energy to the front so that you all collectively can achieve your goals. And for those listeners here today who have maybe smaller teams than seven in its entirety, who's on your personal board? How do you extend that team? So, you get diversity of thinking input and ideas. That's been The Leadership Hacker News. Let's dive into the show. Start of Podcast Steve Rush: Our special guest today is Joseph O'Connor. He's the founder of the Neuroscience Coaching Center, co-founder of the ICC, that's the International Coaching Community. And he's one of the most renowned experts on NLP Neurolinguistic Programming. Joseph's written dozens of articles and over twenty books on the education of NLP and coaching. In his new book, Coaching The Brain, he explores how we can use our knowledge of the brain to help ourselves and others learn. We're truly in the presence of one of the world's global thought leaders in this space. Joseph, welcome to the show. Joseph O'Conner: Thanks Steve. It's great to be here. Many thanks for those kind words. Steve Rush: You're very welcome. You have an incredible history. There are very few guests that I get to speak to where I already have a bunch of their books that have taught me on my journey and yours is one of those. So, I'm delighted that we have the chance to speak it through. Tell us a bit about that, journey for you? Joseph O'Conner: Originally [laugh]many years ago, I was professional guitarist. I was a professional musician, and this got me into an interest, of course, in how we perform? You know, how people do well or not. Because if you're playing classical guitar in front of a group of people, it's quite nerve wracking. So, I found that with most players, I could teach them how to play, but I couldn't teach them how to be able to give their best in front of a challenging audience. If you see what I mean, you know, that's just the first thing. I think in any kind of skill you can teach the skill, you can learn the skill, but it's something else to actually be able to do the skill when you really need to, especially if it's under challenging conditions. So, this really got me interested, in first of all, NLP, coaching you know, in a game of all sorts of things and really how we can get out of our own way when we really need to deliver. Steve Rush: And since then, you have really dedicated almost a lifetime's work in that subject of NLP and coaching. What were the things that really drew you into that as a genre and as a philosophy, if you like? Joseph O'Conner: Well, I've always been interested in the inner game as it were. It's fantastic to see people who are really, really good at something, you know, whether it's athletics, music theater, presentations, teaching, it doesn't matter, in anything. You see someone who's really, really good at something and it looks easy. I can remember as a kid seeing these great guitarists and thinking, hey, I could do that. You know, that looks really easy. And then when you actually come to do it, it's not, it's quite different. So, it's like what goes on inside as it were, these great people that allow them to not only do so well, but also to make it look so easy. And I guess this is what interested me all through when I was learning anything, that inner game thing, really. Steve Rush: And the inner game as you call it, it's almost where NLP really overlays particularly well. So, the neuro is the neocortex, the part of our brain that's kind of supportive. And then of course. Joseph O'Conner: Yeah. Steve Rush: Neuro and linguistic is in how we teach our brain to perform in a certain way. And it is about teaching in habits, isn't it? Joseph O'Conner: Yes, it is. I mean, I got on to NLP [laugh] again, through music, which was funny, but yes, neuro you know, the brain, the mind, how we think? Linguistic, how we communicate? Because language is just so amazing. There aren't that many words, but the ways that we can put them together to be able to communicate with ourselves and with others is just incredible. And my father was an actor and a writer as well. So, I kind of got that quite early and then programming, because I don't think the brain really works as a computer. I think that's an out molded metaphor, but the programming in the sense of how do we accomplish things, you know, how do we actually do things? How does it all work together in order to get things done? I think that's the basis of NLP. And then of course those things in terms of, what do we want? What are our goals? What's important to us? What do we believe? How do we act? This is all really important in coaching and getting the best from ourselves and from other people. Steve Rush: And the irony of course is, that we've all been programming our brain broadly unconsciously from the moment that we were aware of the first environmental things around us. We started that coding and programming from a very early age, often that send us on a track, which we either recognize is helpful or hold us back, right? Joseph O'Conner: Yeah, well, you know, when we're babies and children, we just take in the world and we don't discriminate very much about it you know, we don't make judgements about it so much. So, we are very, very sensitive. I think that's the great strength of human beings. We're incredibly sensitive to each other, to language, to the messages we receive. And we're always, always looking to try and make it mean something. To try and understand it, and to help to predict what's going to happen because a random world, you know, where we just don't know what's going to happen next. We can't prepare for it. It's awful. It's an awful idea. So, we're always trying to predict, we're always trying to have ideas, beliefs, mental models that allow us to predict and find our way through the world in the best way. And yes, we are very sensitive to this, and of course our great strength and weakness is our ability to learn and to take in information and on a neuroscience point of view, it's that neuroplasticity of the brain, it's the brain's ability to change itself in response to experience. So, I like to think of the brain as a verb, you know, when we think of the brain, we kind of think of a big lump of whatever. It's a bit like soft butter, really, but it's stuff, but it's really a verb. It's really an organ for converting our experience into nervous tissue. Steve Rush: Mm. Joseph O'Conner: And then the nervous tissue in the brain in turn influences our experience and what we do and what we can do on from that. So, it's an amazing dynamic process. And our brain's changing all the time you know, my brain's changing, yours is changing. Our listeners brains will be changed after listening to this podcast. You can't help it. We are influenced by that. And that's both a blessing and a curse because in terms of the brain, the brain doesn't discriminate between some really poor messages and some really good ones. Steve Rush: Mm. Joseph O'Conner: So, it doesn't matter whether people are telling you or you are telling yourself more insidiously you know, I'm no good, I can't do this. This'll never work. All of these repetitive thoughts are going to build up the connections in the brain. That's going to start to make that a habit of thinking. In other words, a thought that's going to be the default easiest thought to fall into, in response to whatever happens. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: So, the brain doesn't discriminate about that. If you repeat that and if you get those messages, that's what the brain learns. Whereas of course we don't want to learn that sort of thing. We want the messages of, you know, you are good. You can do this. This is great. This is interesting, but we've got to take charge of our own learning very often. Steve Rush: And the reality is as a species, a human being, human sapien, we really want it to be as straightforward and as easy as possible. We often look for the quickest, fastest, easiest route because our body doesn't like to face into the emotions that come with that challenge, right? Joseph O'Conner: No, indeed. And we're quite lazy thinkers. There's this idea of the cognitive mind, you know? Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: It's hard work to think clearly and well and we tend to move away from it, which means that sometimes the sapien part [laugh] doesn't work so well. Steve Rush: That's right. Joseph O'Conner: My sapien ends. Steve Rush: And I noticed that you drew a correlation early in your studies, when you were looking at professional musicians who were incredibly well versed, and you facing that kind of ambition to want to do the same. If we apply the approach of neuroscience to those individuals who are excel at anything actually. Joseph O'Conner: mm. Steve Rush: The two or three things that you notice that happen alongside is, one. There's repetition and practice. Because without that, you don't get good. Joseph O'Conner: Yeah. Steve Rush: But also, there is a definite conditioning of the mind that said I can, which keeps people going rather than I can't and holds people back. And that's also a core part of NLP teachings, isn't it? Joseph O'Conner: Oh, yes. Yeah, absolutely. You know, there's that saying? Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: Because in that sense, you've conditioned yourself to, or put it this way, if you're going to succeed, it's good to believe it, right. You go into it fully, wholeheartedly, committedly. You're much more likely to succeed than if you go into it thinking, oh, well, maybe, you know, I'm not so sure about this. I'm not so good. That's kind of setting yourself up for failure. Now, there's no guarantees in the end of course. You may or may not get what you want, but you're more likely if you enter into it with those more positive intentions and positive ideas. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: And the repetition is important, absolutely. That's the way that we build habits. And we want to build habits because habits just help us to do things automatically. And we don't want to have to think over carefully, everything that we possibly do, these habits are really important, there's the saying, I think from the Chinese originally, that habits start as cobwebs, but they may end as chains. You know, we want to be careful what sort of habits we form because they're incredibly powerful. Steve Rush: Yeah, be careful what you wish for and all that, isn't it? Joseph O'Conner: Absolutely. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: Absolutely. Steve Rush: So, we're going to dive into a little bit about coaching the brain and neuroplasticity and neuroscience in the moment before I do, though, I'm just intrigued to dive into the whole community that you set up and founded. So, the ICC is definitely one of the most recognized international coaching communities in the world. And that must be a fantastic experience to have seen that grow from a little acorn into hundreds of trees all over the world now. Tell me a little bit about the ICC? Joseph O'Conner: Yes, well, we started the ICC myself and my wife and partner, Andrea. We started it in Brazil. In fact, around about 2001, we wanted to form something that encapsulated those three words. Like coaching, yes, absolutely. We were both coaches. We were both passionate and are passionate about helping people to be the best they can be as well as ourselves. So coaching, yes, international, we started internationally. The first was in Poland, I think. The second was in Rio Janeiro. The third was in Arboga in Sweden. So, it's like, it was international right from the start. And, you know, there's something about coaching something about people and helping people in this way that is international, it's transcends culture and country. When you dig down, we're all human beings and we all respond to the same basic things of what we want and what's important to us. That international was very important from the start and then community, we chose that word quite carefully because a community is a group of people that wants to be together that shares value. I think very important for a group of people, because yes, you can kind of group together, you can be together, but do you want to be together? Do you share those values? And that for us was really important. So yes, we started then and now the ICC has, oh, I don't know, the exact numbers, but something like sixteen thousand trained certified coaches in over sixty countries. And we have fifty trainers all over the world. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: So, it's wonderful to see. Steve Rush: Amazing legacy, amazing legacy, and then fast forward to today. What's the focus of both you and Andrea's work today? Joseph O'Conner: Well, I'm particularly interested at the moment in creativity, this kind of strange word you know, we say creativity, but it's really a process. Again, it's really about, how are you thinking? What are you doing? And it's probably the most valued and valuable commodity, process, gift, whatever you want to call it, talent that there is around because, you know, as the world moves so far, especially technologically. You can create good products and have good ideas, but then, you know, [laugh] maybe a year, maybe months, maybe weeks later and the world's caught up and you've got to continue to do it. And I think you can see this really clearly with businesses. The businesses that are doing well are, the fast, nimble creative ones that are always being able to change and adapt and come up with something that works rather than the more monolithic you know, here's the product and this is great, and this is how it's going to be. You've got to keep changing. So that ability to come up with something new, that works, that's appropriate, that fits, is just so important and something that I've got really interested in and how it relates to our intuitions about what to do and what works. Steve Rush: Yeah, and I've also had a passion for creativity and studied it too. And delighted, we can kick this around, because what I've found in my research and exploring this whole philosophy is, this is something that as young children, we did incredibly well, we were naturally intuitive and we were naturally would go with our gut feel and we would be creative and we would play. But as we got a little bit older and more mature in our years and our days, it often was squeezed out of us unconsciously or consciously in some cases by our environment. What's the reason from your perspective, do you think that some people really struggle with this whole label of creativity? Joseph O'Conner: Well, yeah, a lot. I mean a lot of people think they aren't creative. They think that it's some kind of magical talent that you are born with or not. And I don't think that's true at all. I think we're all naturally creative just by virtue of being human. Steve Rush: Right. Joseph O'Conner: I mean, you're quite right about children and being creative. And I can remember myself and I think we all can of those feelings when we were young, when it's just, yeah, we could just think and play, and it would be very spontaneous and flowing. And then gradually as you say, this tends to go. And I think, I mean, there's many reasons, but I think one of the reasons is the way sometimes that people are taught, like, here's the right answer, okay. Steve Rush: Mm-hmm. Joseph O'Conner: And this is how it's done and well, yes, this is all very interesting what you are doing, but you know, you're not quite right. This is a little bit silly. This is how it's done. This is the right answer. And we get imprisoned by the bars of the right answer. And then we forget all about the other answers and we forget that the right answer is only right in terms of the right question. It's the question that's important. Not the answer. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: The answer is only a response to the question. If you generate interesting, good, powerful, and new questions, you are going to get better answers. And I remember reading a statistics somewhere and I can't remember it exactly, unfortunately, but it's something like at the age of seven. The average child asks something like two hundred questions a day, right, [laugh]. Steve Rush: Wow. Joseph O'Conner: By the age of twenty-seven, it's down to about four questions a day. Steve Rush: Blimey. Joseph O'Conner: Of which one is probably, what's for lunch? [Laugh]. Steve Rush: [laugh]. Joseph O'Conner: But you know, you can see that and that I think encapsulates what happens with us and how we tend to kind of sink into this well yeah. But all the answers are out there, let's just fit into them. Steve Rush: And do you think there's something to do with habit here as well? We get out the habit of being creative. We get out the habit of play. We get out the habit of asking questions. Joseph O'Conner: Yeah, we do. You know, for again, from the neuroscience point of view, habit is something that you've practiced with attention. And if it's a good habit, it fits, and you've done it and you've built it up consciously. So, you forget about it. You know, all of these things that we do automatically, we don't have to think about them. We forget about them. I think there's something really important about choosing your habits well. You choose your habits well, including habits of thinking, then you are going to do much better. And if one of those habits is thinking yes, of course I'm creative. Even if it's only in small ways, I am creative, I am intuitive. I can do this. And to give yourself the opportunity to do it and to continue to repeat doing it. Although of course you're not always going to be so successful as you would like, it's that repetition, it's the attention. It's the emotion and the value behind it. That's going to drive you forward and you'll get better at it. There's no doubt about it. Steve Rush: Yeah, and there's part of the limbic system called the basal ganglia, whose job it is to keep us in that habit. And as soon as we don't give it attention, it starts to lose that habit. And all the, while we think that habits formed, we can also lose habits as quickly as we can repeat them and gain them. Joseph O'Conner: Yeah, we can lose habits. And of course, a lot of people want to lose habits. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: And that's fine. And you can, of course, and the way to lose a habit is to replace it by another one. I like the metaphor of the ski slope. It's like, you've got the ski slope with this unbroken snow, which is like the metaphor for the brain. And there aren't any connections. So, then the first skier goes down and makes a track. There's already a track in the snow, tends to follow that. And the third and the fourth. So, after a while, because so many skiers have gone down in the same way, you've got this track and that's the habit. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: And that's the connection in the brain that's been worn down. So that's the default way that people will go down. Now, if you want to change the habit, what you have to do is, to ski down another way, not use the ski track that's already there. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: And if you continue then to ski down the other way, you'll make a track there and the snow will cover over the first one. So, we are more in control. We are in control of our habits as long as we feel that, and we can change them when we become aware of them. And of course, the difficulty is always, the habit is easy, it's the path of the least resistant. Steve Rush: It's a fabulous analogy. I'll be absolutely using that from today onwards. Thank you for sharing it. Joseph O'Conner: [Laugh], good. Joseph O'Conner: So, let's dive into the book, Coaching The Brain. What was the inspiration for you having? And if I can be so bold, you've covered pretty much every genre across the whole NLP and coaching landscape that I can see. Then coaching the brain seems like an obvious place to fit because that's pretty much all of the teachings I think you've had in the past. But what was the inspiration for the book for you? Joseph O'Conner: Well, two things. I like to write books on things I'm interested in, and I want to learn about, so I don't like to, I don't want to write a book on something that I feel that I know a lot about, and I'm an expert on, and it's just kind of filling in the pages. I want to write something that I'm interested in. I've always been interested in neuroscience and from a coaching point of view. Well, from any point of view, really, I like to look at the gaps, what's missing in some study? In the same way that as a coach when you ask questions and when people are talking to you, it's of course, interesting to know what they're saying, but it's also very interesting to know what they're not saying. What's missing? What could or even should be there in order to understand what's going on. So, in the same way if we go back a few years, there wasn't a great deal of representation of neuroscience in coaching. Steve Rush: That's right. Joseph O'Conner: And I thought this was a gap, and I thought it was important because the more we know about the brain, the more we can understand the purely psychological models of what works and what doesn't work, and we can refine them, and we can also change them. And we can also get new ones because the cognitive neuroscience is the biology of the mind. So, to understand that biology of the mind is going to help us to understand our mind and others and to use it better. So, the book came from that. It's like, yeah, neuroscience is interesting. I think I want to learn about this. I think it needs to be in coaching. So actually, I went first of all to New York to get a brain scan for myself. Steve Rush: Ah. Joseph O'Conner: [laugh] it's like, you know, let's start with yourself of course. I wasn't ill in any way, but I did want to do this and to find out. So, this was very interesting, and I came back with a lot of highly colored photographs and a lot of insight into how I think and you know, some kind of explanations about, oh yeah, that's always puzzled me. Well, yeah, that's how it works after all. And so, took the book from there, talking with many people, of course, reading and putting it together, but always with a sense of the subtitle of the book, which is practical applications of neuroscience to coaching. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: Because, yeah, of course neuroscience is interesting and you can really delve into it how the brain works and you can go into all the Latin names of all the, bits that are there. But in the end, unless you can actually use, for me, anyway, unless you can actually use that to make a difference for yourself and for other people, then for me, it's you know, it's only the first step, so, you know, hey, yeah. How can we use this? What's important? And that's how the book came about. Steve Rush: And I observe in my coaching career, so I've been coaching professionally and as an amateur coach, probably for twenty-five years. And it wasn't until I really understood the impact of neuroscience on my coachee that I really changed my coaching game because it is as simple as just understanding some of the subtle levers we might want to pull or not, as the case may be, the language we could choose, the environment we're in, all of these have an effect on an outcome, don't they? Joseph O'Conner: Yes. Oh yes, they do. Steve Rush: So how do we go about coaching the brain specifically? Joseph O'Conner: [Laugh] well, when you say that's phrase, it's an interesting question, because paradoxically my immediate response would be, we got to be careful not to isolate the brain and to think about when your are coaching somebody, you are just coaching their mind or their brain or any particular part of them. And of course, as coaches, we know, and all good coaches know that you are coaching a human being, mind, body, spirit, all the time. So, in terms of that metaphor of coaching the brain, it's well, how does our understanding of the biology of the mind help us to be better coaches for our clients who come to us and indeed for ourselves in order to be, you know, healthier, happier and more productive? There was three important things. I think, if I could pick the three biggest, most important things that came out of my studies for that book. Steve Rush: Sure. Joseph O'Conner: And they're not rocket science in a way. And you know, anyone listening may think, well, yeah, that's obvious, isn't it? Well, yes. In a way it is, but that's again, you know, when we look at something and say, oh, that's obvious, I knew that. Then sometimes that's an excuse just to forget it and think, well, okay, fine, you know, been there, done that, got the t-shirt and we can forget about it again. But if you take these things seriously, they make a huge difference. So, the first one was sleep. Sleep is really, really important for our brain and for our health. You know, there's only a few things that you die if you don't get them, one is air of course, very quickly, another, is water, food, and the fourth is sleep. If you don't sleep, you die. Takes a few weeks, but you do. And the brain needs sleep in order to consolidate the memories and the skills that you've done. The brain needs rest and healing every night, it's really important. And one thing really struck me with regard to some of the statistics which is, in the UK, of course we have this daylight-saving time where at the end of March, the clocks go forward, I think, and you have one hour less sleep. And even on one hour less sleep. The road traffic accidents due to people not paying attention, spiked dramatically the next day. Steve Rush: Wow. Joseph O'Conner: Even, you know, one hour less sleep. So, to expect people to function well on poor quality and poor quantity of sleep is crazy. And it's such a shame when, you know, hardworking executives will say things like, well, you know, yeah, I can do fine on four hours sleep at night. There's a lot of work to do, right. It's more important than sleep well, in one way, it is. But in the other way, they're working against themselves because if they took an extra two, three hours of sleep, they'd actually do better with the work that they had to do during the day. Steve Rush: Yeah, just one observation actually around sleep. If you think about it in simple terms, if you didn't eat for a whole 24-hour period at worst, you'd be hungry. But if you didn't sleep for a whole 24-hour period, you'd start pumping into psychosis. Joseph O'Conner: Yes. Steve Rush: That's the difference between the two kinds of approaches, isn't it? Joseph O'Conner: [Laugh] yes. Well, I don't know, I'm tempted to say we've all done it and pulled an all nighter. I certainly have, and you're just useless the next day. Completely useless. It's you know, you just lose a day [laugh] instead of doing some good for yourself at night, you just lose the next day. So yeah, absolutely. Steve Rush: So, what were the other things that came out? Joseph O'Conner: Well, exercise, physical exercise, because of course the brain is embodied, it's part of the body and if the body isn't healthy, then the brain doesn't do well either. So physical exercise very important. And the third is meditation, some kind of meditation or mindfulness practice has really iron clad research, in terms of benefits for emotional intelligence, emotional stability, focus, concentration for the brain. Steve Rush: Yeah, all form part of resilience as well. Ironically. Joseph O'Conner: Yes. Steve Rush: Yes. So, when I dove into the book, there were a few areas I'd just love to explore with you. One was hot cognition. Tell us a bit about what that is? Joseph O'Conner: Hot cognition. Yeah, well, I guess the metaphor here and there's been a metaphor like this for thousands of years, the Greeks had this metaphor of the human being as a charioteer. And they have two horses drawing chariot. One is black horse, which represents emotions. And one is the white horse that represents reason. And in the metaphor, which I think Plato used first. The chariot is always trying to get these two horses to kind of work together. And the problem is, very often the black horse of emotions kind of going off their own way and drawing the chariot to one side where they don't want to go. And sometimes that indeed is our experience of emotions kind of take us over and we do or say things that we regret afterwards which is a pity because emotions have enormous energy. And to be able to harness that energy in a constructive way is, really, really important rather than allow the energy to either, you know, explode like in anger or to kind of implode like in anxiety or fear and stop us doing something or in anger, you know, make us do something that we didn't want to do. So, you know, that's one metaphor. Now, the metaphor that I prefer is the hot and cold streams, because all of our thinking is warm to some extent, right. You don't get anyone who's completely cold, rational, logical thought outside Star Trek, you know, outside the Falcon. Steve Rush: [Laugh] yeah. Joseph O'Conner: It doesn't exist. You couldn't do it actually. You couldn't make decisions for a start. So, there's always emotion there. There's no thinking without emotion, there's no emotion without thinking. It's just that our thoughts change temperature, depending on what we're thinking about, who's with us and these sorts of things. So sometimes the thinking is much hotter. It's got much more of an emotional component. So, the parts of brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex that's involved with emotion and integrating emotion is more active. And at other times, the part of the prefrontal cortex is more about rationality and reason, and logic is more active. Most of our thinking is fairly lukewarm. Occasionally maybe if we're doing math's or something, it gets quite chilly. And then if we get really angry, it gets very hot indeed. So, how do we manage that? I think is, the important question in terms of coaching neuroscience and this idea of what sort of thinking and how do we best manage that emotional intelligence as well? Steve Rush: And one of the other areas that I really liked, and I often find itself presents when I'm coaching is the whole notion of identity, the labels people wear. Joseph O'Conner: Mm-hmm. Steve Rush: And I wondered if you give us your spin on how identity forms are part of a coaching conversation and how we might want to help people pay attention to their identity? Joseph O'Conner: Oh, wow. Yeah, how long have we got? [laugh] A couple of days? [laugh]. Well, identity is a strange concept. And again, bit like creativity or the brain. I think it's a process. I don't think it's a thing. I think that once you kind of decide your identity and fix it, then I think you've lost something. I think you've lost an important part of living. Here's just a couple of thoughts. I think irreducibly we all are aware. We can all say I am, and that is in a sense, quite impersonal and the absolute bedrock of our identity. Everyone can say, I am. Now the things that then get pulled on top of that, where people start to say, you know, I am a coach, I am a leader, I am a father, a mother, a child, a teacher, a good person, a bad person, whatever it might be. Those come from the process of living an experience. And sometimes we identify with those for good or bad. So, I think the quick answer would be identity's a process that's always under construction. We all have a bedrock to it, the foundation of it, which is this feeling of I am. And I also think that it's more mutable and more changeable and more chewable perhaps than we sometimes think. Steve Rush: And it can often also create behaviors based on the identity you choose to wear. Joseph O'Conner: Mm-Hmm. Steve Rush: Because as you rightly said, you can choose that identity in different scenarios, and that comes with a different set of behaviors, right? Joseph O'Conner: Yes. Yes. I mean, in many ways we're fully functioning schizophrenics, you know, we are two different people, depending on the context. You know, we all know when I'm with my daughter, I'm a different sort of person to when I'm standing on stage giving a training or when I'm coaching or something like that. Steve Rush: That's right. Joseph O'Conner: We're very flexible in that way, amazingly flexible. But at the same time, there is something there underneath that we can always come back to and know clearly. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: To ground ourselves. Steve Rush: So, we're going to give folk an opportunity to dive into the work you're doing. Find out about the book in a little while. Before we do that, though, this is where we turn the table a little and we get to hack into your years of experience of leading teams and leading others. And just dive to find out what your top three leadership hacks would be? Top tools, tips, or ideas. Joseph O'Conner: Oh, wow. One would be authentic, be yourself. Don't try to pretend to be something that you aren't because it doesn't work. Usually, people will see through it. So whatever leadership context you're in, be authentic. Secondly, and this may be a bit of a paradox. You need to adapt to other people, as to what they are. I think one style of leadership for everybody doesn't work. And I think leadership has evolved over the last fifty to a hundred years from a time where it was, this is what you do to be a good leader, you know, learn these characteristics and you'll be a good leader, kind of laundry list thinking. Two, well, there's a whole set of skills here and people are very different. And leadership is a very mutable changing kind of skill that you've got to be very flexible in terms of, you know, it's not just about, I am a leader, but who are you leading? Because a leader, without anybody, as it were to follow them doesn't exist. You know, you can't be a leader on your own crying in wilderness. So, you've got to pay attention and adapt to the people that are with you. Let's put it that way. So that would be the second one. The third one would be the ability and willingness to say no where necessary because you know, people who are good leaders are usually pretty good at delay thing. Therefore, they are under a lot, people ask them, you know, the better you are at something, the more people will ask you to do stuff. And this becomes a vicious circle whereby you start being pretty good at something people start asking you then overburdening you. And very soon, because you're trying to do too much and spreading yourself too thin you lose that edge that you had at the beginning. So, I think again, part of being authentic is to say, this is what I want to do. And these other things, while very interesting. And I wish you the very best with them. They're not for me. Steve Rush: Power of no, really important. Love it. Joseph O'Conner: Yes. Steve Rush: The next part of the show we call it Hack to Attack. So, this is typically where something in your life or your work hasn't worked out well, could have even been quite catastrophic, but as an experience, you now use it as a force of good. What would be your Hack to Attack? Joseph O'Conner: There's many examples. Just maybe a more trivial one. Some years ago, I was involved in some marketing, I think it, through some social media or LinkedIn or something like that. And I sent out an email, which I meant to send to one or two people. I sent it out to a list of some thousands of people. And, you know, you have that horrible. Oh my God moment. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: You've just pressed send, and then you think just a minute, did I do that right? And then that horrible thinking feeling where, oh God. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: So, and you know, a lot of people didn't like that at all, and I felt embarrassed and there was a number of emails back from people, but it taught me lot. It taught me to be able to, and I can remember this now after it happened, it's going, you know, initial panic. Yes. Absolute panic. And then you go, okay, well that's happened and there's no way I'm going to get this back. So, you better deal with it [Laugh]. And so, in that sense, it was a very clear example because often these things take much longer to happen. You know, you do something, and it carry on doing it and it takes maybe a few weeks. And then you think, oh my God, we know what have I done? And then there's a lot of trying to take things back or trying to change it or say, no, I didn't really mean that or whatever it was, and which can sometimes make things worse or covering it up. You know, they say that it's not the crime, it's the cover up that gets you into trouble. Steve Rush: Yeah, that's right. Joseph O'Conner: So, I think this was a good example where it's like, okay, that's done. No way to get that back. So, you better deal with it. So that was one lesson, and second lesson was, I've never done it again. I [laugh]. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: I made sure that I learned in excruciating detail how these things work [laugh] so that, you know, I was much more a master of communications and marketing than before. And even now I have an email address where there's a two-minute delay that's programmed in so that I press send. And if it's wrong, then I know, oh, thank God it hasn't sent yet. It won't send for two minutes. Steve Rush: That's a perfect example of where neuroscience has created an instant reaction in you and created a really big, thick layer of neuroplasticity. Joseph O'Conner: [Laugh]. Steve Rush: Neuro pathways. I'm not going to repeat that one [Laugh]. Joseph O'Conner: Well, yes. You know, with neuroplasticity. If you repeat stuff, you learn, but also you have one big emotional experience. Steve Rush: Yeah. Joseph O'Conner: That also it's like a very heavy skier [laugh] or like a bulldozer going down the ski slope. Steve Rush: That's it. Tracks already made. There it is. Joseph O'Conner: It make a really big track. Steve Rush: Yeah, so the last part of the show, Joseph, we want to do is, we get our guests to do a bit of time travel. You get to bump into yourself at twenty-one and give yourself some advice and some words of wisdom. What would it be? Joseph O'Conner: Twenty-one, oh my God. Oh, I don't know. It it's like, hey, man. Yeah, I love you. You're going to be alright. Don't sweat the small stuff, you know, sleep well and it'll be okay. Steve Rush: Awesome. Sometimes that's all it takes, right. It's just that little bit of reassurance. And I like that, yeah. Joseph O'Conner: I mean, you know, from that perspective, you know, what would you say to your twenty-one-year-old self? But supposing you are twenty-one and some guy comes, suddenly appears in your room and goes, hey, it's going to be alright. Steve Rush: Yeah, I'm not sure I'd ever paid huge amounts of attention. Joseph O'Conner: But how would that change your life? Steve Rush: Indeed? Joseph O'Conner: Or would it? Steve Rush: Sliding doors maybe? Joseph O'Conner: Yeah, yeah. Steve Rush: Yeah, so that's the whole kind of crazy notion of time travel, isn't it? Is that, you know, you are who you are, you've created what you've created because that Joseph at twenty-one gave you the permissions to do what you did. If you change that, then who knows what the future would hold. That's a whole deeper, meaningful conversation. Let's not go there. Joseph O'Conner: [Laugh] yeah. Steve Rush: So, I've loved chatting. I'm really delighted to be part of our community on The Leadership Hacker Podcast, Joseph. So how can our listeners get hold of a copy of the books? And I say books, there are many, and find out a little bit more about the work you've done? Joseph O'Conner: Well, first of all, I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on Facebook as well. So can contact me there. coachingthebrain.com is the website where you can read about the courses there. And I'm just starting the creator's club. So, if you're interested in creativity, intuition and hacking into to that, then you can get me at joseph@thecreatorsclub.net. Steve Rush: Brilliant. We'll put those links in the show note and you can count me in. I'm absolutely in. Joseph, thanks ever so much for coming on the show, some great stories, some great lessons, and thank you for helping the world on the journey you've been and personally thanks for helping me on my journey too. Joseph O'Conner: Well, thank you, Steve. It's a pleasure. Yeah, we do what we do and it's like we all drop pebbles into the lake, don't we? And the ripples go out and we have no idea where the ripples go to, and we hope that they ripple against the shore in some good places. And I'm really pleased that it's happened. So, thank you and wish you the very best. Steve Rush: Thanks, Joseph. Really appreciate it.   Closing Steve Rush: I want to sign off by saying thank you to you for joining us on the show too. We recognize without you, there is no show. So please continue to share, subscribe, and like, and continue to get in touch with us with the great new stories that we share every week. And so that we can continue to bring you great stories. Please make sure you give us a five-star review where you can and share this podcast with your friends, your teams, and communities. You want to find us on social media. You can find us on Facebook and Twitter @leadershiphacker, Leadership Hacker on YouTube and on Instagram, the_leadership_hacker and if that wasn't enough, you can also find us on our website leadership-hacker.com. Tune into next episode to find out what great hacks and stories are coming your way. That's me signing off. I'm Steve Rush, and I've been your Leadership Hacker.

In this Episode Skool & Kardiac Discuss Lebron becoming a Billionaire and What THEY would do if they had a Billion dollars, Plus NBA Finals Game 1 Takes and More. Email Hosts: FaithforthewinPodcast@gmail.com Podcast Network inquiries: Podcasting@mmsmedia.org

Podcast 295: Forced Empathy: A Master Class--Part 1 of 2 Podcasts 294 (Part 1) and 295 (Part 2) Forced Empathy: A Master Class Today Dr. Jill Levitt and I do live work with Zeina Halim who has been experiencing some intense negative feelings because of her mother's criticisms of her. Zeina is a member of my weekly training group at Stanford and has appeared on the podcast on several previous occasions (Please provide numbers plus link to podcast page on website.) Zeina is one of our small group leaders in our Tuesday training group.  She works with teens and adults in-person in her office in Menlo Park and also provides tele-health sessions for clients living anywhere in California. Dr. Jill Levitt is the co-leader of my Tuesday training group at Stanford and will be my co-therapist today. We hope for some more of the “magic” that frequently appears when we do therapy together. Today's podcast will illustrate a number of teaching points, including these: Forced Empathy: We illustrate exactly how to use this powerful and sophisticated technique. When I first created this technique many years ago, I thought there would be little interest in it, so I rarely taught it in my workshops or training groups. In the past several years, an intense interest in this technique has emerged, so you will get to see exactly how it works. Five Secrets Resistance: There has been great interest in the Five Secrets of Effective Communication that are featured in my book, Feeling Good Together. When used skillfully, they can have a phenomenal effect on any troubled relationship. I am even aware of a case of a woman who was kidnapped at gunpoint by a violent serial rapist who planned to kill her. Out of desperation, she used the Five Secrets I had presented at a workshop he had just attended, and he let her go and turned himself in to the police. The Five Secrets literally saved her life. And yet, many of us stubbornly refuse to use the Five Secrets with family, friends and loved ones. Why do we fight against the very tools that would rapidly bring us peace, love and joy? And what can we do about our own internal “resistance”? The “inner” and “outer” solutions: Whenever you are involved in a conflict with someone, there are two battles raging at the same time. One is the “inner battle” with your own negative thoughts, telling you that you're no good, or that the other person is to blame, and the voice that powerfully urges you to do battle. We approach the “inner battle” with the familiar Daily Mood Log, that helps you pinpoint the distorted messages you are giving yourself. You will see that those messages—the way you talk to yourself when you're upset—are loaded with distortions; such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralizations, Mental Filtering, Discounting the Positive, Mind-Reading, Labeling, Should Statements and Hidden Should Statements, Emotional Reasoning, Other-Blame, and more. In today's session, we do battle with Zeina's distorted thoughts with the Externalization of Voices, arguably one of the most powerful psychotherapy tools ever created. The EAR Checklist / Relationship Journal. The “outer battle” involves the words you use when you respond to the other person's criticisms of you. Here we use the Relationship Journal, another super powerful tools that allows you to analyze your own statements with the EAR Checklist and see the shocking reality that you are creating the very conflict that you are complaining about so vigorously. This involves one of the “Great Death” of the self, which can be profoundly painful, but it also leads to liberation from your self-created misery and the chance for renewed love and connection with the person you feel so alienated from. Two-hour sessions. You can do far more in a single, two-hour session than in many 50 minute sessions scheduled at weekly intervals. I have often said that this is how I always do therapy, and if you have some therapy skills, this model is vastly more effective and cost-effective as well. It puts you under pressure to accomplish something today, right now, and not in the vague or distant future. Uncovering Techniques. You will see how you can use the Man from Mars Technique to uncover more of your patient's negative thoughts and core beliefs. This is just another way of doing the classical “Individual Downward Arrow Technique” that I developed way back in the 1970s. The Acceptance Paradoxes. There is a great deal of talk these days about Acceptance is being an important key in many schools of psychotherapy. But what is acceptance, and how do we teach it to our patients and colleagues? Today's session with Zeina, who has a great interest in Buddhist philosophy and practices, illustrates one of more than 20 paths to acceptance, and this one in particular will teach you the steps in accepting others, especially when you are desperately trying to change them and you are insisting that they “shouldn't” be the way they are! Self-acceptance is always about grasping a gigantic paradox—and that's why I've always called it the Acceptance Paradox, which states: Accepting yourself as you are, warts and all, is actually the greatest change a human being can make. Can you see why this is a paradox? It's because the very moment you accept yourself, everything about you and your world will appear to change. Now here's another acceptance paradox we will explore today. The very moment when you accept another person exactly as she or he is, that person will suddenly change. Of course, that is the exact opposite of what we usually do when we desperately keep trying to “change” them, a strategy that actually forces them to be the very monster you are trying so hard to destroy. By the way, do you know what the plural form of paradox is, when you combine Self- and Other-Acceptance? The plural form is called the Acceptance Paradise. T = Testing is crucial! You cannot do truly effective therapy without the T = Testing. You will find out EXACTLY how effective—or ineffective—you are in every session with every patient. When you listen to the podcasts, you can ask yourself questions like these: How effective are Jill and David being? Will they get good empathy and helpfulness ratings from Zeina? Will we see any reductions in Zeina's powerful negative feelings at the start of the session? Will she make a breakthrough in her relationship with her mother? At the end of the session, you will see the answers to these questions. And if you're a therapist, that kind of powerful and precise information will allow you to grow and learn as a therapist, especially if you approach the information with humility and respect for yourself and your patients. There is almost no limit to the evolution of your therapist skills if you use the T = Testing model I have developed. There is almost no chance for personal growth if you do not use these or similar assessment tools. However, the price of growth is steep. You have to be willing to see your own failures and errors at every session with every patient, and this will often be painful. But this is the pain that can lead to your own personal transformation along with the blossoming of your own superb therapy skills. Today, in Part 1 of the Zeina session, you will hear the T = Testing and E = Empathy parts of the session. Next week, in Part 2, you will hear the very brief A = Assessment of Resistance, which really only included the “Miracle Cure Question: ”What, really, are you, Zeina, hoping for in tonight's session?” You will also hear the amazing M = Methods portion, which will start with Forced Empathy, followed by Externalization of Voices and Five Secrets Practice, along with the final T = Testing and homework assignments for Zeina following the session. Rhonda, Jill, Zeina and I hope you enjoy the podcasts and learn a great deal from them. And we all want to thank you, Zeina for your courageous and brilliant work, sharing your inner self so openly and generously. I believe that sessions like the one our fans will witness today and next week have the potential to provide hope and healing to people around the world, not only today, but for decades to come. At least, that is my hope! I also want to thank you, Jill, for your extraordinary teaching and clinical skills, and for your brilliance and warmth. Thank you for tuning in! Rhonda, Zeina, and David Contact information for Jill and Zeina: please provide what you want to have included in the show notes. Here is a follow-up note from Zeina Hello David, Jill, and the Tuesday group, Boy, do I have an update for you all! So, at first, I struggled, and I was very worried to have to potentially send an update to the group that may have been disappointing. On Saturday, I saw my mom, and I shared with her the insights that I had in our session. She was appreciative, but I didn't feel very connected to her. I had talked with her about this while she and I were on a walk, and I wondered if maybe walking while talking was taking away some of the intimacy or connection that might have happened if we had been looking at each other while talking. I also noticed that while I was externally behaving somewhat better if my mom criticized me, internally, I still hadn't progressed very far. I would still feel very distant from her; and I still wasn't doing the five secrets. Today, on Sunday, I saw my mom again. While she did not criticize me, we still got into a little bit of an argument. I was a bit angry, but as I let myself cool off, I noticed myself feeling incredibly sad inside--like a sadness that had been building and building over the past few weeks. I tried to talk with my mom about it, but she resisted at first. We had a project that we were working on together today and she thought it would be better if we talked on another day and got back to our project; I insisted, however, and asked that we please talk today. I did not realize it at the time, but I think I had some major hidden emotion stuff happening with my mom (more on this later, perhaps some hidden sadness that was masquerading as anger). I shared with her that I had felt incredibly sad and genuinely worried about our relationship. I recently moved in order to live closer to her and see her more often, but I had noticed that almost every time she came over to visit me at my new place, we would get into an argument at least once. I shared that these arguments had really been weighing on me and worrying me. I also told her that I noticed that we would get into arguments when we were at my place, but not as much when I visited her at her place, maybe because I am so particular about how I like things to be at my place. She, then, said in a very gentle and loving way, "I think ‘particular' about your space is the operative word here." I realized that she was totally right, and I was so pleasantly surprised by how gentle and loving she was when she said it. Feeling encouraged by how the conversation was going, I shared more and said that I had noticed that I had become more sensitive around our arguments lately and that I was feeling very disconnected from her, and I didn't know how to get reconnected with her. I also shared that I had been feeling lonely in my life in general lately and made a guess that maybe my loneliness was making me expect more from our relationship. Additionally, I also guessed that I might be feeling more drained emotionally because I am doing more hours of therapy per week than I have ever done in my life, and maybe I had yet to find the right balance of how to recreate and regenerate my energy in my off-hours. I shed many tears all throughout this whole conversation. I checked in with myself and noticed that I was feeling more connected to my mom, but there felt like there was still more, particularly about my loneliness. This next paragraph might seem like a major tangent, but hang in there!--I promise it is all connected :) Then, I switched gears a little bit to share with her a different conversation and insight I had had in the past week or so about my recent feelings of loneliness. I had been having a conversation with my very dear friend, James, about how I had been feeling lonely, but was not feeling as drawn to connecting with most of my girlfriends, but only really drawn to my guy friends. Initially, I thought it was a male-female difference, but then I noticed that I was feeling drawn to my new friend Leigh Harrington, who is female. I realized that maybe the difference had more to do with the fact that almost all my male friends and Leigh were quite funny and playful people, whereas most of my girlfriends were more serious people. As for myself, I tend to be a more serious person and am not as funny or playful as many people. I realized that I was relying on other people for my laughter, playfulness and fun, rather than learning how to create that myself. Having just done some flirting training with Matthew May earlier that week, I saw that humor, like flirting, can be a learned skill and might have more to do with a willingness to take risks than an innate quality that people either have or don't have. I was feeling excited that I could learn to be funnier and flirtier and create more laughter in my life, instead of relying on other funny people for this. I shared all of this with my mom. She then went on to make a further connection that really blew me away. She said, "I bet if you start to be funnier and create more laughter for yourself and others, you will also start to feel less lonely." It felt so true! The times I feel most connected to people are when I am laughing with them. THIS is the kind of relationship and connection with my mom that I had been missing lately--when I share deeply with her and, because she knows me so well, she is able to further my insight and understanding of myself and help me to grow. I feel so connected to her now. I realize now that I think part of my resistance to using the 5 secrets with my mom was maybe a hidden emotion component--I had these deep feelings and worries about our relationship; I was confused if moving closer to her had actually helped our relationship or if it was harming it, and I was genuinely missing these kinds of deep, connecting conversations with her, which we had not had in a while. My mom has been hanging out at my place all day today and now I notice myself being easily loving and patient with her and my being "particular" about my things and my space has vanished--at least temporarily! There are a lot of take-aways for me from this whole thing, but one of the biggest ones is that I think I was trying to do five secrets without really fully going into my "I feel" statements as much as I needed to--I feel statements are often the secret that I neglect the most as a person and as a therapist. So, to connect to what we are doing this week in class, I think I would make a guess that when I ignore the five secret that I need to do the most and struggle with, it can hamper my ability to do the rest of the five secrets effectively and genuinely. I could write a lot more about all of this, but I think I will stop here for now. I hope this wasn't too confusing as I know I touched on a lot of different things. Thank you all for your time and attention. I'm open to comments or questions. Warmly, Zeina Here is a reply to Zeina from one of the Stanford Tuesday group members Gosh! Zeina, this is beautiful and so straight from the heart. Takes immense courage to do a deep dive in exploring oneself. I have been marveling at how meticulously you‘ve sifted through and worked towards addressing the different dimensions of the relationship between you and your mum. You are also an amazing raconteur, you've brought out the subtle nuances so beautifully! Your mail took me on an emotional roller coaster ride. It was such a compelling read and had me as a captive co-traveler, holding my breath, and crossing my fingers! I loved your insights on the “I feel”. Reading that was a personal breakthrough for me, where my relationship with my mum is concerned. That's exactly what is missing in our relationship too … whoaaaaa! I just don't share my feelings with her! I love how you were able to do that though, because I can feel this huge wave of resistance engulfing me, despite my insight. I know I'm not yet ready to take the next step! Funny, how tough it can be to be vulnerable before one's own mom! More power to you Zeina for ‘daring greatly' and taking the next step after the Tuesday class. Also, for keeping us posted and for sharing with us in such a detailed manner, and in the process, helping us all learn and grow. Deep regards for your mum as well. She comes across as a tenacious mother of a tenacious daughter … if I may say so. Warmly, Nivedita. Here is a second follow-up from Zeina. Hello David, Jill and Tuesday group, I just wanted to send another update as my relationship with my mom has continued to evolve in quite beautiful and magical ways since I sent this last email.  It seems to me that maybe she has stopped criticizing me entirely--I'm not quite sure.  Maybe I need to pay more attention.  Perhaps if she does criticize me, she does it in a gentler way or maybe I am less sensitive to it.  All I know is that she has been wonderfully supportive of me in these past few weeks and we have not gotten into a single argument.  Our relationship suddenly seems easy in a way that I have never experienced before.  I am so profoundly grateful.  I know that we will probably relapse at some point and this may not last forever, but, now I know this is possible.  Now, I know my way back here.  I have always wanted a relationship like this with my mother, and I always thought it wasn't possible because of who she was as a person. Little did I know that to have the mother I always wanted, I needed to do the changing. I knew that the 5 secrets were powerful, but I had thought that their power was more confined to a single interaction or the moment when you use them.  I don't know that I have been especially good at practicing the 5 secrets with my mom lately, yet the effect seems to keep lasting and lasting. I am truly speechless at the profound transformation that has happened.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I would love any responses! Zeina Here is some of the feedback from the training group in the section, “What did you like the best about today's training session?” Jill's thoughtfulness in selecting the Forced Empathy technique over the Relationship Journal. Jill looked at what had worked in the past for Zeina and saw it as a potential strategy for her current concerns and the result was tremendously positive. I loved the training! I loved watching forced empathy and I began to empathize with a close relative simply by watching Zeina empathize with her mom. I was crying throughout. It is hard to describe how touched I was Zeina's honesty and her responses to forced empathy was amazing! Amazing personal work. Entire session was great learning experience for me. How Forced Empathy brought the shift in Zeina's way of thinking. I really enjoy witnessing the live sessions including this one with Zeina. Seeing how the totality of the model comes together in real time with the clinician's judgment and intuition guiding the specific process is really enlightening and seeing someone's beliefs shift in real time is very inspiring and moving. It was a really nice way to re-join the larger group and I'm glad to hear that went into David's thinking in scheduling it. I really like the Forced Empathy. Zeina had a lot of resistance at the beginning. However, She shed tears during doing the Forced Empathy. I also like the role reversal when doing the Externalization voices. I can always learn how to deal with the difficulties of life from David and Jill's wisdom. The whole thing was so great. I was really moved by the forced empathy. I always LOVE seeing forced empathy modeled to get better at this complex skill, and I am also, like many others, almost always blown away with how powerful it is. I also thought this was a great example of multiple paths (individual mood and relationship work) and multiple methods being all used in one two-hour session so skillful and masterful. I loved the open ended approach and the ongoing exploration until the goal was formed/explored/ discovered. For me, it was a demonstration of trust in the process. I especially liked David's "The Man From Mars" that seemed to me an amazing tool with sorting out the mess of relationship work. I also loved Forced Empathy especially here with the work on mother daughter's relationship. I am really intrigued to explore it for myself in regard to my relationship with my parents and my daughter. Seeing the whole encounter with Zeina and seeing how Jill and David thought through it together, it was all so organic and incredible to witness Very helpful to see the progression of the session. Zeina's session has been a gift not only to us, but also to our mothers. Forced empathy felt like a pivot point in treatment and I loved that Z was able to go deep and connect with her mother's feelings. I have plans to travel and visit my mother next month and have been feeling anxious about it. I was reminded of the unconditional love of a mother that is beautiful and spiritual. David and Jill did amazing and transformational work. This is so inspiring! I liked everything and how the methods and techniques were woven together very skillfully. Personal work is really the best and so gratifying to see. David made a comment at the end about how it would help with motivation to use the skills and work more on them after seeing them in action and I do agree with his comment even if I'm totally not paraphrasing correctly. I LOVE personal work because it bring these skills to life in a way that role plays don't. and of course, it's all the better that someone gets a personal benefit, that's all good too. David and Jill did an amazing job again! However, Zeina's honesty and vulnerability was the greatest gift during this session. I could relate to her struggle as well, so I was extra impressed about her determination to work on this issue. It was amazing personal work for me. I feel so grateful for this experience. This was another example of the "magic" of TEAM, especially when the therapists are the incredibly skilled Jill and David. What a great, vulnerable and poignant example of relationship issues with a parent. I was very impressed and moved by the power of the Forced Empathy technique. By Zeina's ability to feel into the point of view of her mother, and her insights and connections, especially around how the times of criticism can be seen as opportunities for greater acceptance and love. Moving and really beautiful personal work!!! I was moved to tears when Zeina cried her mother's tears during the Forced Empathy exercise and said "I need her to accept me as I am." Wow--that was so powerful! And as for so many others, this experience felt super relevant and helpful to me for one of my own important relationships, and I'm feeling excited to try out Sergio's approach on my own loved one. Forced Empathy: I loved all of it! So helpful and informative to witness live work. I immediately got why the “what's my grade?” question was skipped (since the use of the Forced empathy technique had yielded such powerful results). I am eager to try this with a particular client who is having similar issues with their mom. On a more personal level, I felt extremely close to Zeina and seeing how vulnerable and open she was willing to be. This has melted away a lot of my resistance in using the 5 secrets with my own mom. Thank you Zeina! I liked seeing the "visitor from Mars" used to uncover Zeina's thoughts when David was having trouble understanding what the issue was. It was great to see David feeling a little "lost" and see how he worked through that. Watching the Forced Empathy technique was amazing! I also appreciated when Jill offered several options for which direction to go and explained her rationale. I found it to be a helpful learning moment and also liked the warmth that came across. I saw my mom's critical behavior as coming from love-brought tears. Same for my Dad Zeina did really powerful and enlightening work! It was also a great learning experience to observe David & Jill. I have enjoyed listening to and learning wonderful techniques from Jill and David. I can definitely relate to parent's/child criticism conflict myself, so I have learned some methods of effective communication, empathy skills, especially the opposite empathy (where you step into the shoes of a person you have a conflict with) and learn to empathize strongly vs feeling frustrated and having blame thoughts I love every time we do personal work. I always learn and grow so much personally and professionally. Thank you, Zeina for this amazing gift, and thank you, David and Jill for your masterful work. I loved every moment of it! Amazing personal work! I enjoyed the entire process. I appreciated the partnership between David and Jill. I so appreciated Zeina's work and vulnerability. I like David's creative way of doing the Ind. Downward arrow using "man from Mars" perspective. I liked getting to see, again, the power of Forced Empathy, as it illuminated how we create the very behavior in the other, that we then complain about. I loved how Zeina surrendered to doing the Forced Empathy exercise with such wonderful openness. I loved the seamless way Dr Burns and Jill moved between the methods. And Zeina's courage to be vulnerable. Had an aha moment myself - of course her mother will criticize her because the last thing she wants is for Zeina to have disastrous finances like her own. It shows deep love and caring Another Master Class! I loved watching David and Jill working with Zeina. Change the Focus is just an amazing Method. I appreciate Zeina's vulnerable disclosures. Such generosity is much appreciated. This is an amazing group, and I feel privileged to learn from such sophisticated practitioners, who are so generous with their insights and decades' worth experiences. Some days I just can't believe my luck to be with such heartfelt, dedicated, compassionate and wise folks! I very specifically like seeing a long personal work session...the big picture seeing the whole session. Thank you! I learned so very much and how things smooth into each other as session progresses. It was great seeing Forced Empathy demonstrated as I've never seen it before and learned so much from the overall training with Zeina, David and Jill. So glad Zeina was willing to be so vulnerable; really appreciated at the end when she said she felt pressure to empathize with her mom if she was vulnerable with her and mom laid it on thick, was wondering the same exact thing in that very moment! Loved how David diffused that for her and put less pressure on how she would handle it! So grateful to be part of this awesome group where I am growing and learning every moment! The high quality demonstration of Five Secrets empathy by David and Jill Jill's patience. David waiting for AHA MOMENTS and pointing them out and best of all ZEINA! Personal work is always insightful. I really like the forced empathy technique. I also enjoyed the display of creativity and flexibility of the team model. Amy would regularly explain that it was a model to be used creatively and it's exciting to know there is so much to learn. It can be adapted to each individual. Viewing therapy as a series of skills to learn rather than a step-by-step instructional book is what makes me really love TEAM. Loved how Dr Burns used the individual downward arrow so seamlessly during the empathy phase. Dr Burns empathy too was spot on when he said to Zeina that "she could not lean on her Mom." This one line was really powerful for me and resonated deeply. Loved Jill's internal solution as well as the forced empathy option along with the option of working on the good reasons not to do the 5 secrets. Jill was on a roll with her empathy ... "feels like you're walking on eggshells and don't know what will hurt her." I also liked Jill's disclosure about the times she gets critical with her boys are times when she is most concerned about them. Also liked Jill highlighting how Zeina practicing the Five Secrets was not working at a point because she was not using enough feeling empathy unlike as when doing the Forced Empathy  

Sports. Entertainment. Little to no culture. Takes from the minds of two sportswriters who know a lot about nothing. In this episode, Ed and Adam discuss their thoughts on How similar is new Head coach Josh McDaniels to New Englands Bill Belichick. Also in this episode, Adam cooks for the first time, Yes the first time... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

****TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE UP ON GAME PRESENTS PODCAST CHANNEL*** https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/up-on-game-presents/id1596136129 SUBSCRIBE TO THE UP ON GAME PRESENTS YOUTUBE CHANNEL https://www.youtube.com/c/UPONGAMENETWORK  Island Time In The Desert IS BACK!. With the success of the podcast, Why is TMac still fishing for compliments? The boys are wrapping up their LA trip and they are getting ready to head back to the desert. Before they do, Keyan Burnett drops by to hit you with another "Key's Takes." This is a Brazillian Restaurant in O.C that has the "best skirt steak." Then, Jalyn Mosley, from The University of Iowa, pops in to talk about her new podcast "Kickin' It With J".  SPECIAL THANKS PUMA: https://us.puma.com/us/en GEO JAM: https://geojam.com/ ============ SOCIAL MEDIA ============ ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jalyn_mosley ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keyan_burnett ►Twitter: https://twitter.com/thenoah_fifita1 ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonganpino/ ► Twitter: https://twitter.com/TMAC96795 ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tmac96795/ ► Twitter: https://twitter.com/lavararrington ► Twitter: https://twitter.com/UpOnGameNetwork ► Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/uognetwork/ ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/upongamenetwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's Friday, and you know what that means. YOU take over the show. You provide the takes. The dudes provide the reactions. Takes about M&M's, Ron Rivera, RB's on Super Bowl winning teams and much more.

Julie and Jeff Probst lured Nick into the latest season of Survivor so we spend some time relishing the glorious finale (spoilers). And Nick doesn't have time for much else, because he had a very long week. But don't worry, Julie's got some new podcast recommendations, a list of what's coming up to watch this summer and a bucket full of tweets! Show Notes: @1:30 - Hot takes | cocoa dyno-bites, Survivor finale, Under the Banner of Heaven, Post-Mormon at the Movies, Oprahdemics, How Did This Get Made? - Con Air, Real World Homecoming, Shining Girls @32:45 - Tweets of the Week | This is your captain singing @52:00 - Drag Race All Stars | The Wheel of Fortune Ball @1:00:45 - Game | Pop Culture Trivia Want to support us and get fun extras? Join our Patreon! Like 30 Rock? Like Nick and Julie? Listen to them on their 30 Rock rewatch podcast: Blerg! (@blergpodcast) wherever you listen to Takes.

Last Week of May, 2022 ------

Businessman and Senator from Virginia's 17th District (as well as Congressional candidate) Takes us inside the swift return and passage of a budget compromise in the General Assembly and weighs in on the epidemic of violence in the country. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gautam, Charlie and Matt start the episode today off by assessing Boston's place among Warriors' Finals opponents before having a mini player draft of the 6 best guys in the series. Then the guys break down their biggest questions going ahead of Thursday's game, share their x-factor players, and make their formal predictions. And of course--they close with their Takes of the Week. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We've got cowboy hats, jellyfish, Gucci, and all kinds of NFT stories this week, what more could you want? Tips and picks to help you tech better? We've got that too. Enjoy! Followup:   Starlink (01:30) Australia digital driver's license is easy to forge (04:55) Jack Dorsey leaves Twitter board of directors (07:50) eBay enters the NFT business with assist from Wayne Gretzky (10:20) Hotels using NFTs to create a StubHub for reservations (11:50) Someone stole Seth Green's Bored Ape, which was supposed to star in his new show (15:35) Wyze Cam Outdoor Cowboy Hat (17:05) WWDC (20:00) Dave's Pro Tip of the Week: Tap and hold screenshot to share on iOS (20:45) Takes:  DuckDuckGo slammed for allowing Microsoft trackers on its browser (25:35) Starting June 30th all iOS apps that allow for account setup must provide deletion (28:35) Gucci links up with Oura Ring to produce luxury fitness wearables (29:55) The global digital tax deal may be pushed back to 2024 (32:45) Where did the $400M+ Zuck Bucks go for the 2020 election? (35:50) Bonus Odd Take: Sharkle - Generator of Random Awesomeness Dave's Jellyfish (38:25) Picks of the Week:  Dave: Warped Kart Racers (42:25) Nate: Selfie Stick, Extendable Selfie Stick with Wireless Remote Tripod Stand, Portable, Lightweight, Compatible with iPhone 13/13 Pro/12/11/11 Pro/XS Max/XS/XR/X/8/7/Android Samsung Smartphone,More (46:50) Find us elsewhere: https://www.notnerd.com https://www.youtube.com/c/Notnerd https://ratethispodcast.com/notnerd https://www.tiktok.com/@notnerdpod https://www.twitter.com/n0tnerd/ https://www.instagram.com/n0tnerd https://www.facebook.com/n0tnerd/ info@Notnerd.com Call or text 608.618.NERD(6373) If you would like to help support Notnerd financially, mentally, or physically, please contact us via any of the methods above. Consider any product/app links to be affiliate links.

The show opens with John's thoughts on the Phillies' 5th straight loss last night (0:18-24:52). The Listener Suggested Segment of the Day (24:52-48:02). The Eagles OTA's have officially begun (48:02-1:11:41). Cooney's Column (1:11:41-1:35:36). Adam Schefter joins the show to preview Eagles OTA's (1:35:36-1:59:16). Pat's Takes (1:59:16-2:22:57). A Joel Embiid surgery update (2:22:57-2:44:48). The Phillies seem to not understand their fan base (2:44:48-END).

After starting out as an apprentice with his mentor, within 2 years Miguel Illidge branched off and started his own company. Now he has 13 offices with plans to have more. • Doors open for you the more you succeed and increase your performance. • Now rubs shoulders with pro-athletes, celebrities, and famous musicians. • Success breeds success. • The slight edge. • Becoming money motivated. TIME-STAMPED SHOW NOTES: [3:24] Doors that have opened for you. [9:19] Tormentor. [16:3] Takes a while to get everyone on board. WEIDELONWINNING.COM/WEBINAR

  It's a myth that being nice won't get you anywhere. Kindness is a key component to being a reputable agent and growing your business. Read the text version. Register for your FREE RitterIM.com account   Mentioned in this episode:   Contact the Team at Ritter Insurance Marketing Don't Underestimate the Power of Kindness at Work Do You Have What it Takes to Be a Great Insurance Agent? My Boss Bit Into My Sandwich Without My Permission Nice People Finish First: How Being Kind is a Recipe for Success in Business The Value of Kindness in Business Why Client Retention Should Be Your Top Priority   More episodes you'll like:   What I've Learned About Imposter Syndrome (So Far) How to Follow Up with Medicare Clients Compliantly Learning from Lost Medicare Insurance Sales   Articles to Share with Your Clients:   What are State Pharmaceutical Assistance Programs? Important Terms and Tips When Reading a Health Article or Study Health Benefits of Gift-Giving   Ritter Insurance Marketing eBooks & Guides:   Developing an Agency – Your Guide to Getting Started Social Media Marketing for Insurance Agents The Complete Guide to Client Loyalty and Retention Your Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Started in Insurance Sales   The latest from Ritter's Blog:   5 Myths About Selling ACA Health Plans Innovate Your Medicare Business Marketing with Medicareful Living Updates to the 2023 AHIP Certification You Should Know   Connect on social:   Facebook LinkedIn Twitter YouTube Instagram TikTok Sarah's LinkedIn Sarah's Instagram   Subscribe & Follow:   Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Podbean Spotify Stitcher  

Top analytics guy and Winnipeg Jets follower Garret Hohl is here to talk Jets with Victor and Jesse. Pros discussed include Kyle Connor, Mark Scheifele, Blake Wheeler, Nikolaj Ehlers, Pierre-Luc Dubois, Morgan Barron, Evgeny Svechnikov, Mason Appleton, Josh Morrissey, Neal Pionk, Nate Schmidt, Logan Stanley, Collor Hellebuyck, Eric Comrie, and Mikhail Berdin. Dan Tiffany joins for "Tiff's Takes" on the goalies. In the Dynasty Dig, Prospects discussed are Cole Perfetti, Chaz Lucius, and Ville Heinola. Thanks to FHL Scout Jeremy for the Lucius scouting report. Mason Black @NHLRankKing has poll results comparing these prospects to similarly rostered prospects and Jesse and Victor debate them. Jesse pays off a joke from the prior episode. Our show is presented by Fantrax.com and proud to be a part of the Dobber Podcast Network. Email fantasyhockeylife@gmail.com and ask to join our free discord. Join our Patreon at Patreon.com/fantasyhockeylife for rankings, bonus podcasts, in-depth prospect reports with video, show notes and more. Listen and subscribe wherever podcasts are posted - and give us 5 stars! We want to be your best place to talk about the game of dynasty fantasy hockey.

Sports. Entertainment. Little to no culture. Takes from the minds of two sportswriters who know a lot about nothing. In this episode, Ed and Adam discuss their thoughts on the Raiders recent workout of Colin Kaepernick, their first look at the Raiders 2022 OTAs and they give a brief recap of two high-profile court cases. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Between foodservice foibles and a solid batch of spicy and relatable tweets, Nick and Julie dive into Shining Girls, The French Open, Love on the Spectrum (US edition) and the new All Winners season of Drag Race All Stars! Show Notes: @1:30 - Hot takes | Nicole Byer, serving struggles, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars @26:00 - More takes | Shining Girls, French Open, Love on the Spectrum, Under the Banner of Heaven, Flight Attendant, Hugh Dancy. @45:45 - Tweets of the Week | Spicy Purritos @1:05:30 - Game | Scattegories Want to support us and get fun extras? Join our Patreon! www.takespod.com Like 30 Rock? Like Nick and Julie? Listen to them on their 30 Rock rewatch podcast: Blerg! (@blergpodcast) wherever you listen to Takes.

Organizing your CRM is not as challenging as it may seem. In this video, you'll learn how to set up your CRM, how often to follow up with prospective clients, and the main focus at each stage. You'll learn the framework that Takes you from lead, to opportunity, to prospect, to active clients. Each buyer or seller requires a different level of communication and service at each stage. 0:00 Intro 0:31 Issue with CRMs 0:45 Eisenhower Matrix 2:02 LOPA 2:17 Lead 3:42 Opportunity 5:33 Prospect 7:00 Active 8:53 Pending 10:08 Closed 10:58 Buckets 11:07 SOI A 12:35 SOI B 13:23 Archive 14:29 Dead Leads 15:15 Service Providers Sign up for the weekly Rev Real Estate School Newsletter: http://bit.ly/2RqWJbT Rev Real Estate School is here to teach real estate agents how to become successful in their careers and double their income while working 5 days per week. The real estate agent tips and tricks will benefit beginner agents and growing REALTORs® with marketing ideas, database marketing, social media, scripts, dialogues, habits, mindset, networking, skills, and negotiation.

4th Week of May, 2022 ------