Voice Notes from Maryam 💝

Hey hey dear friend, assamau alaykum :)Thank you (in advance) for sitting down for coffee with me and for listening to me share some of what's been on my mind.I challenge youuuu to write back via email to let me know what thoughts have been dancing around in your mind, even if they're different from what I've shared… I may just invite you for a free on-on-one virtual coffee chit-chat, just because! Let me know if you'd like that

I went to the hospital yesterday — nothing serious, just routine checks.I bumped into two ladies I hadn't seen in maybe 20 years.We went to boarding school together, the three of us.First, I saw F. We were roommates at one point all those years ago, but we completely lost touch. Because, life.I hugged her and hugged her again.We said our hi's and hello's, and before it got too awkward, we said bye.About 15 minutes later, I saw H. I wasn't close to her at all while we were in school. She was a ‘senior', so, yeah.I remember her being among the sweet ones. I didn't like most of the other ‘seniors'. I got in trouble with them a lot. I was yelled at and punished by them a lot. Haha. Story for another day.We said our hi's and hello's, and before it got too awkward, we said bye.It was nice to see F, and then H, but I was busy with hospital things and had to go. They were busy too and went on to do what they had to do.I left the hospital soon after, and that was it.When I got home, I felt happy and recharged somehow.There was a joy that seeing F and H brought to my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about them, couldn't stop thinking about Jannah, and what it would be like to reunite with loved ones.I asked myself again and again: how can I not work hard for Jannah? How can I not work hard and ask Allah to be pleased with me? How can I not ask Him to have mercy on me?I am a very people's person. I love people deeply. I hold memories close to my heart. I talk to Allah about people I love, and about people I am no longer in touch with.Now, imagine reuniting with people you love the most, in Jannah. Imagine reuniting with the people who have left footprints on your heart. Imagine reuniting with people who passed away, who you were forced to do life without.There's so much I have to tell my friend who passed away when I was 19. And the other friend who passed when I was 27. And all four of my grandparents. And my uncle, Baa. And Sh. Muhammad al Shareef. And, and, and… may Allah have mercy on all of them.May Allah forgive them and grant them Jannah.Imagine reuniting with your parents, children, spouse, siblings… with no ounce of ill-feeling in your heart towards them.Allah says,“We will remove whatever bitterness they had in their hearts. Rivers will flow under their feet. And they will say, ‘Praise be to Allah for guiding us to this. We would have never been guided if Allah had not guided us. The messengers of our Lord had certainly come with the truth.' It will be announced to them, ‘This is Paradise awarded to you for what you used to do.'” [Qur'an 7:43]Imagine meeting and sitting with and being in the company of the Prophet ﷺ! What would you say to him? (You won't be too shy to talk, don't worry, because, Jannah!)Imagine meeting all the prophets who came before him ﷺ, his companions, the men and women that were around him… may Allah be pleased with all of them.Imagine being gifted and blessed and honoured to see your Creator and my Creator… what more could a human being ever want? What else would anyone ever seek???We're hustling so hard to make ends meet in dunya — we want to be sorted, we want to feel settled, happy, comfortable.We want to succeed.But what does Allah tell us about success?Whoever is spared from the Fire and is admitted into Paradise will ˹indeed˺ triumph, whereas the life of this world is no more than the delusion of enjoyment. [Qur'an 3:185]Ya Allah, Ya Rahmaan, Ya Ghafoor, Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyum… forgive us, have mercy on us, and make us among those You admit into Your mercy.Meeting F and H at the hospital was a 1-minute thing with each of them.But when we reunite with our loved ones in Jannah, our hugs won't have to be cut short. Things won't get awkward if it's too long.How can you and I not work hard for Jannah? How can you and I not work hard and ask Allah to help us, to have mercy on us, to be pleased with us?This dunya is temporary. So temporary, it hurts.But Jannah? Jannah is eternal. It's where every pain we've endured, every tear we've shed, every hardship we've faced will be replaced with joy, comfort, and peace.“Those mindful ˹of Allah˺ will have Gardens with their Lord under which rivers flow, to stay there forever, and pure spouses, along with Allah's pleasure. And Allah is All-Seeing of ˹His˺ servants.” [Qur'an 3:15]“Golden trays and cups will be passed around to them. There will be whatever the souls desire and the eyes delight in. And you will be there forever.” [Qur'an 43:71]“Allah has promised the believers, both men and women, Gardens under which rivers flow, to stay there forever, and splendid homes in the Gardens of Eternity, and—above all—the pleasure of Allah. That is ˹truly˺ the ultimate triumph.” [Qur'an 9:72]Think about it…No fatigue, no annoying aunties, no gossip, no backbiting.No stress or anxiety, no pain, no loss, no heartbreak.SubhanAllah…Imagine walking through the gates of Jannah, being greeted by angels who say,"Peace be upon you for your perseverance. How excellent is the ultimate abode!”[Qur'an 13:24]One thing I must add is, we need to also remember the reality of Jahannam.As much as we work hard and seek Allahs's pleasure and ask Him for Jannah, we must work hard, stay away from sins, and ask Allah to save us from the fire of Jahannam.The terror of Jahannam is beyond our comprehension. Allah says,“Indeed, Hell is lying in ambush, as a home for the oppressors, where they will remain for ages. They will not taste any coolness or drink there except boiling water and burning fluid— an appropriate reward.” [Qur'an 78:21-26]*shivers*How can we allow ourselves to give up, to get distracted, to lose focus? I know it happens… But if we've slipped, what do we do? How do we fix things?How do we pick ourselves up again?Well, “Fall down seven times, get up eight” applies here.We will mess up. We will sin. We will lose focus. But we need to keep getting back up. Again, and again, and again.Our focus must remain on our Lord — on remembering Him, worshipping Him, and seeking His countenance.* Remember Allah:“Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.” [Qur'an 13:28]* Hold on tightly to the first 10 ayahs of Suratul Mu'minoon. I'm not sharing the ayahs here because I want you to pick up your mushaf and read what Allah says in those ayahs.He has basically given us a recipe for success.One specific point is repeated twice — your challenge is to find it and comment or reply telling me what it is!To F and H, I pray we meet in Jannah. I have a feeling we won't shut up. I have a feeling catching up will take a long, long time, and there won't be a teeny bit of awkwardness. Though, before then, I pray I get to see you again in dunya

Listen to Voice Notes from Maryam

Listen to this Voice Note from Maryam onApple Podcasts || SpotifyOne of the things I miss the most about Nigeria is the road rage, yet it's one of the things that scares me the most about Nigeria.I of course would rather watch the road rage than even be a teeny bit involved in it. I find it entertaining. And funny. And scary. I know I'm weird.Anyway. I want you to meet Oga Abdul.He's our family driver and he's been with my family for close to 15 years.Oga Abdul is a no-nonsense driver.He can navigate and find his way through traffic jams easily, and he doesn't accept any less than his standard while he's on the road.He's on the road to get to his destination fast!He listens to Berkete Family on the radio while he drives. He is focused. He's present. And he finds his way —FAST.If people aren't driving well enough (to him), he would wind down his window just to do the hand-to-head motion repeatedly and shout out to them: “You no well!” or “Wetin dey worry you?”

Listen to this Voice Note from Maryam onApple Podcasts || Spotify || YouTubeA lot of people today think that they NEED therapy. This is mainly due to the high-stress lives we're living, but therapy isn't a NEED for everyone. It's a nice-to-have for everyone. In fact, it's a strong nice-to-have. But is it a NEED? I doubt it is.Now, are there cases where people do NEED therapy? Of course! 100% yes!This voice note is not for those who do need therapy. Please, please seek the help you need from a professional. Ok?This voice note is for the rest of us who think we need therapy.Cool? Cool.Also, by the way, if your primary care provider says you do need therapy but can't afford it yet, journaling can be a great first step.Think you need therapy?So, why do ‘the rest of us' think we need therapy?* We're stressed out!!!* Our mental health is lowkey falling apart…* We're spiralling* We need to process our emotions or unpack stuff, because “what is all this?”* We're stuck and want to find clarity on our next steps* We want a safe space to feel heard with zero judgmentIf you're nodding along to these points, this voice note is for you.The power of journalingThe good news is that journaling can help you with all the points above. Here are 6 ways I use journaling to get similar results. Not the same, but similar.* Journaling for Stress ReliefI recently learned that the stress we feel is not always due to the situation at hand. We usually feel stress because we don't know how to cope. My husband for example is so chill when something happens because he believes most things have a solution, but my brain sees many situations as a threat to my entire existence. What journaling does is, it helps me break down my stressors and see them from a different perspective. Is my homeschool REALLY falling apart? Am I REALLY messing my kids up forever? Is the workload REALLY going to make me lose my mind? Journaling helps me talk back to the stressful situation and channel my inner chill.* Journaling for Mental WellbeingWriting down my thoughts and feelings gives me a clearer picture of my mental state. It's like having a conversation with myself, and sometimes, that's all I need to feel a bit better. When I'm feeling stuck and my mental health feels kinda mental, the process of writing things out feels like someone is holding up a mirror to help me see a way out, to remind me to be grateful, to remind me to call on Allah.* Journaling When I'm SpirallingSpiraling is “a cycle of negative thought patterns that can escalate and become overwhelming”. This is my internal state a lot of the time, especially around that time of the month. Before I know it, I'm imagining worst-case scenarios for everything! So when I feel like I'm spiraling, journaling acts as a grounding tool to remind me to be here now. I write and write and write down those overwhelming thoughts, and somehow, writing them down with pen and paper helps me slow down and think more rationally. I usually end the journaling session with “Here's what I think the problem is, and here's a solution I could try. Ya Allah, help me…”* Journaling to Process EmotionsI'm usually quiet when I get offended, but my brain does not stop! I have used journaling to unpack some deep feelings of envy, anger, hurt, rejection… We all have those moments when we feel big emotions inside and don't know what to do with them. Journaling gives me space (and time) to analyze, step-by-step, what's under the big feelings. A few years ago, I felt envy which I knew had no place in my heart. I was so bothered by it and started journaling. Then I realized I felt envious because there were things I wanted for myself but in reality, I wasn't working towards those things, so I put my big girl pants on and got to work! And alhamdulillah that's history now.* Journaling to Find ClarityWhenever I'm stuck or confused about my next steps, about a big decision, about life's big changes… I turn to my journal. Writing helps me map out my thoughts and make more informed decisions. It slows my thoughts down enough to write out a pros and cons list and then write out the best-case scenario which gives me something to make du'a for.* Journaling When You Need a Safe SpaceMy journal is my safe space and has been ever since I was little. It's a place where I can be completely honest with myself, without fear of being judged. It's like having a conversation with a non-judgmental friend. Sometimes when I write my heart out, like the deeper things, I end up ripping up the page afterwards so there's no trace of it left, haha. Journaling is my go-to because I need safe spaces more often than any human would be comfortable giving me.All of this to say…If you've ruled out any mental health crisis where professional help is needed, but you still feel the need to work through stuff, I highly suggest you consider journaling. Therapy and journaling can accomplish similar goals: providing a safe space, being non-judgmental, giving you permission to feel, and offering space to cry.A good therapist doesn't give you answers or solve your problems, by the way – they believe that you have what it takes to get to the other side, and they support you as you take the steps towards that.Journaling achieves a similar goal!Next stepsIf there's only one thing you're taking away from this, please give journaling a try.Start a journaling habit and see how it works for you.Let me know if you'd like a breakdown of HOW I journal, I would love to support you as you start or improve your journaling journey.And hey, you know that friend who's always stressed out and always in their feelings? I think they'll like this voice note. Please do share it with them.Thanks for listening! If you found this voice note helpful, please hit the heart or thumbs-up button, and don't forget to subscribe for more Voice Notes from Maryam.Happy journaling!Love + Du'aMaryamWhat I'm working onBelieve it or not friends, I'm working on putting myself out there a teeny bit more. For now, that looks like speaking on more podcasts! Cue internal screams from the introvert in me.Do you know any cool podcasts you think I'd be a good fit for? If yes, let me know and I'll reach out to them! Bonus points if you know the podcast host and can do the introduction :)What I'm readingEven though I'm not allowing myself any new books for the rest of 2024, I totally just bought Teaching From Rest because everything about the book speaks to the current state of my homeschool-mama heart.A few days ago, I was doing sit-down work (math) with one of my Littles, and they started crying because they felt pressured! That's a HUGE homeschool red flag for me, and that tells me it's time to drop everything and reassess my approach to stuff. It gets hard sometimes but it showed me that I have NOT been teaching my children from a place of rest. I'm looking forward to gaining some perspective from the book inshaAllah.I'm the type of homeschool Mama who panics about falling behind but is also 100% sure they'll “catch up” inshaAllah. We'll be alright. Math can wait for a bit inshaAllah. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Assalamu alaykum dear friends! Today's Letter isn't actually a letter

Assalamu alaykum, friends!_The other day, I picked up my pen (keyboard) and wrote in my journal…“Should I ask Allah to reduce how much I love?”I knew I was hurting inside because… what is this deep question, please?

Life can throw unexpected challenges our way, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to cope. In this episode, I share a personal journey that starts with a dental appliance and leads to powerful life lessons that apply to us all.Join us as we navigate the emotions of a child struggling with a new dental appliance, and learn valuable insights about patience, trust, and perspective.We draw inspiration from the Quran, reminding ourselves that Allah's wisdom is beyond our comprehension. We explore the importance of staying patient during life's storms and how these trials will eventually lead to growth and appreciation.Whether you're dealing with family challenges, financial difficulties, or career struggles, the 3 tools shared will provide you with the strength to face adversity, bi idhnillah. Remember, Allah won't leave you in pain without reason, and there is goodness in every test He gives us.May Allah grant you patience, ease your burdens, and guide you through every hardship. Ameen!Links:Maktabah (Book Club)Join my Substack newsletterSign up for the 12 Week Du'a Free Crash CourseCome say Salam on Threads This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Join me on a transformative journey of exploring life from the deep end!In this episode, I share personal stories and reflections on moving beyond the shallow-end mindset. Just like learning to swim confidently, we'll discover how to approach our deen, relationships, health, and wealth with intention and excellence.Discover the power of one stroke at a time, whether it's deepening your faith, nurturing relationships, prioritizing your health, or taking bold steps in your career as a Muslim woman.Life may sometimes challenge us, but with patience and perseverance, we'll dive into the depths of our potential.Like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring content.May Allah bless you with abundance and strength in every aspect of your life. Ameen.* Join my Substack newsletter: https://sistersflourish.substack.com* Sign up for the 12-Week Du'a Free Crash Course: https://www.sistersflourish.com/crashcourse* Come say Salam on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sisters_flourish This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

I went on a scary walk a few days ago.It was an icy winter trail and I was scared to slip and fall.I was scared some animal would come out of the forest and jump at me.It was dark, so I needed a flashlight but my phone battery was low.I wanted others to help me, I could see them, but they were way ahead.My heart was racing, my eyes wide open…Listen to this episode where I share my adventure, but also what I learned.And our Lord is forgiving and merciful ❤️ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

We have a lot of tabs open in our brains all the time.I'm sure we all agree that our brains were not built to take so much pressure, so much workload, so much stress, so much stuff(!)… and to keep all those tabs open in our brains at the same time!This voice note is my invitation to you.Don't forget to make du'a for the things on your brain-dump list, your today-list, and your right-now list :)Remember, you're allowed to rest and recharge when you need to.May Allah ease your affairs, beautiful.With lots of love and a truckload of du'aMaryam This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Lesson 8: Du'aBismillah.With no plan, no script, and no idea what I'd end up talking about, I decided to record (instead of write) the final lesson in the “8 lessons in 8 years” series.So you get to hear my super imperfect podcast, and I'm totally fine with that. I think. InshaAllah the next episode will be better. (I need topic suggestions btw, thankyouuu!In this episode, I spoke about du'a and how we need to make du'a for our marriage too.Allah is so near and He wants us to ask Him ❤️Here's the du'a I mentioned:It is related that Abdullah ibn Mas'ud (رضي الله عنه) used to use these supplications a lot:اللَّهُمَّ أَلِّفْ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِنَا، وَأَصْلِحْ ذَاتَ بَيْنِنَا، وَاهْدِنَا سُبُلَ السَّلَامِ، وَنَجِّنَا مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ، وَجَنِّبْنَا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ، وَبَارِكْ لَنَا فِي أَسْمَاعِنَا، وَأَبْصَارِنَا، وَقُلُوبِنَا، وَأَزْوَاجِنَا، وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا، وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَا إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ، وَاجْعَلْنَا شَاكِرِينَ لِنِعْمِكَ مُثْنِينَ بِهَا عَلَيْكَ، قَابِلِينَ لَهَا، وَأَتِمِمْهَا عَلَيْنَاAllahumma allif baina qulubina, wa aslih dhata bainina, wahdina subulas-salam, wa-najjina minad-dhulumati ilan-noor, wa jannibnal-fawahisha ma dhahara minha wa-ma batana, wa barik lana fi asmaina, wa absarina, wa qulubina, wa azwajina, wa dhurriyyatina, wa tub ‘alaina innaka anta-Tawwabur-Rahim, wa-j'alna shaakireena lini'mik muthneena biha 'alaik, qaabi-lina laha, wa ati-mimha 'alainaO Allah! Reconcile our hearts, amend what is between us, guide us to the paths of peace, save us from the darkness [and admit us] to light, and save us from obscenities, inwardly or outwardly, and bless our hearing, seeing, hearts, spouses and offspring. And accept our repentance, indeed You are the Ever Accepting of Repentance, the Merciful, and make us thankful for Your favors. All praise is due to You. Accept our good deeds and complete them for us.P.S. Jazakallah khair to the lovely ladies who agreed to listen to the podcast and gave their beautiful feedback and encouragement. I appreciate you more than you know.With lots of love and a truckload of du'a,Maryam This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com