100 Acts of Love

A milestone is a marker next to the side of the road to mark the distance in miles to a particular place.  There are milestones in death too, but I'm still not sure where they are leading to. I hit two milestones in the last week that surprised me. They weren't really obvious until they were! These two milestones left me wondering where is the particular place I'm trying to get to?

Would you attend the funeral of your co-worker's son, partner, or mother? This is the question that some Americans are asking themselves this week.  Their co-workers loved ones were killed during the mass shooting over the last two weeks. Funerals are happening.  And many are asking, "what do I say."Death in the workplace happens. This podcast can help you understand how to decide to attend a funeral service, and it will help you know what to say to a co-worker whose family member has died.  Ep

Fear. It's a powerful emotion but it's not completely bad!  This podcast is a little bit different. It's not full of tips on how to talk to an employee affected by cancer. Instead, it's a talk about fear and why it's so important that we learn how to walk through our own fear and into love.  

Employees die. They die at work.  How you, as an organization, manage it matters a great deal to the team, the manager, and your reputation. If you ever want to know what to do and what not to do when an employee dies, this is the podcast for you. Overcoming her own adversary following the sudden death of her husband, leaving her with a two-year-old daughter, she has been speaking passionately to national audiences of all sizes for over 20 years, addressing all aspects of change, growth, and acceptance that comes with embracing life challenges – those expected and unexpected.  As a past associate of management for Fortune 500 companies, she learned quickly the see-saw created when personal and professional trajectories collide allowing her to provide invaluable insight to Human Resources departments, co-workers, and management.Rachel Kodanaz is a heart-minded professional author, speaker, and consultant helping her audiences to Embrace Life's Challenges. 

Did you know there is a cancer fairy tale?  It's a myth about what it's like to have cancer.  And believing in the myth hurts not. only the employee affected by cancer, but the manager, team and can even affect your organization. In this episode, I break down the cancer fairy tale.  But be warned, if you listen, you can no longer claim you didn't know!  

Why would an employee or a friend affected by cancer who clearly needs support say no to help?  Turns out receiver's guilt may be playing a role!  What is it and how do you combat it?  Kim Hamer talks about receiver's guilt and shares with her audience three many causes of it and how to work around them so you can support your employee affected by cancer in the way that they need!  Show notes1:40      What guilt really is4:14      The difference between guilt and shame5:00      Reason #1 Why people turn down support7:10      Reason #2 Why people turn down support11:11   Reason #3 Why people turn down support12:14   What anger really is12:30   Shame and receiver's guilt

A manager just told you that one of their employees has cancer and you feel stunned. Before you take action, it's vital you take stock of the tools you currently have to support your employee and before you leap into action. Remember: cancer is an entanglement – it affects your employee, their manager, team members, and anyone who deals with that employee.  Is your company prepared.  How to Assess Your Company Readiness in 7 Questions4:35 Question #1: Who has the cancer7:27 Question #2: Does the employee affected by cancer manage a team?8:36 Questions #3: Does the employee's manager know about the diagnosis? Are they equipped to have an uncomfortable conversation? Does the team know?  11:17.Question #4: What benefits are available to the employee?12:44 Questions #5: Does the employee work with outside vendors or clients?  13:38 Questions #6:  Has your company been in this situation before?14:37 Questions #7 Where are your holes? 

Do ever just have one of those days when you're in a funk? You're feeling overwhelmed, hopeless and think "why bother with...life?"  Well, I just had one of those moments the other day.  It's hard to help a friend or co-worker with cancer when you are in a funk.  Learn my simple three-step process for getting yourself out of any funk and showing up for anyone who needs you, including yourself!   

Here is my story of my journey through Art's two entanglements with cancer told in the 6,428 days he was in my life.  5:10     Day 6,428th day: the day he died15:20          6:35     What I want you to know about Art10:50   Day 1: the day we met15:20   Day 5,463: The day he was diagnosed18:50   Our wedding22:15   Tell the kids about Art's cancer27:14   Resources to support your community29:34   Chemo is not a vacation30:11   Meanness: A cancer side effect?31:55   Cancer and marriage32:51   Sex and cancer35:55   The cancer returns30:00   The role of denial in cancer39:36   Reading from the book 100 Acts of Love: A Girlfriend's Guide to Loving Your Friend through Cancer or Loss42:37   My oldest son asks “Will the cancer come back?”45:00   Did I know he was dying?45:15   What do I do if his heart stops?52:15   Letting him go54:40   Courage comes from others56:35   You can help!You can read the full journey here.   https://artnagle.blogspot.com/2009/01/  (Be fully warned, there needs to be a lot of editing done!)#cancer #caregiver #cancerandwork #youmatter #breastcancer

This is a tale of woe. Amy Austin's dad had cancer. She worked for one of the largest hospitals in Iowa and had been an employee for 12 years. Then her father was diagnosed with cancer. He lived in South Dakota. The lack of communication, information, and support showed by Amy's manager will make you cringe. Hopefully, it will inspire you to make sure your HR team can guide your managers working with an employee with cancer. If you care about employee engagement in crisis, this podcast offers a list of what not to do. 

As a manager, do you catastrophize? Imagining the worst possible outcome of an action or event may actually help you when your employee tells you they have cancer.  Check out this podcast by Kim Hamer to find out how. 

What do you say to your friend with cancer? Are there any rules I should follow? Yes, there are. In this podcast, learn the three basic rules for supporting a friend with cancer and why they can help you come up with unique and wonderful ways to help that are suited just for you!  

Learn from two funny and honest former cancer patients how they really want you to treat them and what they really want you to do for them.  A funny and real conversation about cancer and how to show up in a helpful and healing way.  Share ThanksCancer.com (@ThanksCancer on Twitter) with your friend or employee with cancer. They will like you just a little bit more!  

It's that time of year when FSA account holders start to scramble to spend the funds in their accounts before year-end. But do you know that most employees don't take advantage of an FSA or an HSA account? Did you know that most employees don't understand how they work?  And did you know that it is estimated that medical issues or medical bills cause 66.5% of personal bankruptcies?Enrolling in an FSA can feel risky. Here are a few questions your employee with cancer can use to decide if an FSA or HSA is the right choice for them. It can also help them figure out how much to put into their plan. #FSA #HSA #bankruptcy

Chadwick Boseman died from colon cancer just over three months ago. Many of his fans and those he worked with wondered why he didn't share his diagnosis.   In today's podcast, I list five possible reasons and how you can help your employee with cancer decide if not sharing the news with teams and other employees is the right decision for them.  #coloncancer #cancer #cancerawareness #healthyliving #chadwickboseman #hrprofessionals

She asked me, "What three things do you wish every HR professional knew about employees with cancer and their managers?" I came up with five cause that's how I roll.This episode covers five ways an HR professional can support a manager or team dealing with an employee with cancer. Recognizing these five things and adjusting accordingly can make a manager and team's life so much easier when it comes to an employee with cancer. #cancer #cancerandwork #hrprofessional #employeeengagement #support #health #mentalhealth

This gift is an excellent way to lay the foundation of support for your employee with cancer.  It's simple. It's free. And all you need to do is download it!100 Acts of Love is the #1 destination when you have an employee dealing with cancer, or other life-altering event. 100 Acts of Love provides simple, easy, and actionable advice to HR Professionals, CEOs, and others who know a company can do much more than send a meal when an employee has cancer.  #cancer #hrprofessional #cancerandwork

There are many myths that surround cancer and work. In this podcast, I discuss the four most common myths.  Why are they important to know?  Because as  HR professionals, often time our responsibility is to help managers navigate working with employees with cancer.  Our preconceived notions about what an employee with cancer can or cannot do often get in the way of us offering powerful guidance for both the manager and employee.  

Do you or your team know what to say? Does your company have a plan on how they will support an employee in crisis?  Are your managers equipped to have conversations about support and work plans?  46.1% of the people who get cancer are between the ages of 20 and 64, prime working years which means if you haven't dealt with an employee with cancer, it's just a matter of time.This podcast offers HR professionals three specific and simple steps they can take to make sure they are prepared when the inevitable happens.  

We all do it. We say mean things to ourselves. We'd never say them to our friends, but we speak harshly in our own heads.That negative self-talk can keep you from helping your friend with cancer. In this episode, Kim Hamer reveals her own meanness and offers three ways to get past the mean words so you can be a great support to your friend with cancer!  

In October 2016, 59-year-old Chris Joseph was stunned when he learned he had third-stage pancreatic cancer. In the midst of the panic and tremendous fear that immediately ensued, Joseph followed the doctor's orders without hesitation and underwent chemotherapy—a choice that was almost a fatal mistake. Join Kim Hamer, founder of 100 Acts of Love as she interviews Chris Joseph, pancreatic cancer survivor, and learns first hand how the support of his friends made a difference in his ability to beat pancreatic cancer.  

Sometimes the simplest gifts for someone with cancer are the best. This short episode demonstrates a simple and pleasurable way to make your friend with cancer smile... even if it may be a grimace! #giftsforsomeonewithcancer #easygift #100ActsofLove #KimHamer #youmatter #cancersurvivor #cancer #cancersucks #cancerawareness #cancerfree #cancerfighter #hope #support #triumph 

A microaggression a common word, but what exactly does it mean and what does it have to do with your friend with cancer?In this podcast, Kim discusses what a microaggression is, common mean phrases you may have said to your friend with cancer, how not to say mean things and how to apologize if you have said something not so nice.  

Not all support is about bringing a meal. It can be about getting your hands dirty or riding a mower!Discover two simple ways to help your friend with cancer in their garden and how to convince them to let you do it!  This is another great gift for someone with cancer!

Finding great ways to support a friend with cancer can be as easy as opening your mail!  This is why you shouldn't through away those ValuePaks!  They provide great gift ideas for cancer patients.    

It's never too late to help your friend with cancer eat foods that prevent cancer, but there other gifts for someone with cancer that are easier to give.  Today's podcast offers your three easy ways to help your friend with cancer with food and they are not what you think!  100 Acts of Love offers friends of those with cancer unique ideas on what to say to someone with cancer and easy, simple ways you can support someone with cancer. 

What is the most overlooked room in the house where you can be super helpful to your friend with cancer?  The bathroom. On this episode you'll learn of all the easy and hygenice ways to help someone with cancer. Save your friend the waddle to find more toilet paper.  100 Acts of Love offers you great tips on encouraging words for a cancer patient, plus simple and easy ways you can show your support!For more information go to 100ActsofLove.comt

Maybe dropping off that casserole for your friend with cancer is not the best way to help a cancer patient. Or is it?In this episode discover the easy and simple non-food way to help someone with cancer. 

This is the answer to one of the most common statements I hear. "I'm so afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing."  We all are and the solution to not saying the wrong thing might surprise you!  100 Acts of Love: How to Help When Cancer Strikes is a podcast that shares what to say and how to help someone with cancer. 

What to say to someone with cancer is a common question, but sometimes you need to get to what not to say before you can understand what to say.100 Acts of Love: How to Help When Cancer Strikes is a podcast that shares what to say and how to help someone with cancer. 

When someone you love has cancer, it's hard to figure out what to do to show your support. Sending a care package is a unique way to say "I care about you!" Fun, whimsical care packages will not only bring a smile to your friend's face but will remind them how much they are loved. This podcast shows you 5 steps for putting together a care package that your friend with cancer will truly enjoy!

There are lots of things that you can say to your friend with cancer that will provide them comfort and show how much you care. This one phrase is not one of them! After speaking to well over 200 people with cancer and cancer survivors, they all agree that this one sentence is the least helpful anyone can utter! (And...you've probably said it!)

Act of Love #80 in the book 100 Acts of Love says "Buy her tickets to ... a play, a dance, a concert!" Do not assume that your friend with cancer won't want to go, instead ask her! Treating your friend with cancer to a play or sporting event is a great I-love-you gift.

When you learn your friend has cancer, you want to help. But what if she has kids? Most people simply ignore the kids because they don't know what to do and that's not good. Kids, just like adults, want to do something that will make their parent feel better and you can help them! It takes a little time, a few questions and some courage. You will be amazed at how good you feel, her child feels and how loved your friend with cancer will feel!