Group Chat Realness

Job hunting is a full-time job, which is why today we are bringing you some of our top tips to help you find the job you are looking for, ask for more money, and generally step into your amazing self. Many people lost their jobs last year, and with the increasingly competitive job market, it is crucial to know how to stand out. Sophie dives right in, talking about the power of LinkedIn and why your network is your net worth. Having transitioned from a prolific career in finance to the entertainment industry, Sophie has seen just how valuable connections are. Having never had a conventional 9-to-5, Venita has also had most of her opportunities come from the people she knows. We then talk about cover letters, where Venita gives her take on why they are almost more important than resumés. People want to work with people they know, like, and trust, so your cover letter is your chance to show who you are. Other topics we cover in this jam-packed conversation include virtual interviews, being aware of how your social media impacts your ability to land a job, and the power of following up. Just remember, you are going to get rejected, and that is ok. That says nothing about just how brilliant, unique, and valuable you are. Keep going and have faith; your dream job is just around the corner! Key Points From This Episode: LinkedIn is your best friend when job hunting: hear tips on making a profile detailed enough.The importance of networking and how this helped Sophie transition from finance to media.Venita’s professional history and the numerous jobs she has had without working a traditional 9 to 5.The rave reviews Venita got for her cover letters and what she looks for in potential hire’s cover letters.Why your lack of experience does not have to hold you back from getting the job you want.How Sophie reached out to people when she moved to the U.S.Don’t underestimate the connections you make; you never know where they could lead.Ask for help and find mentors with whom you can build mutually-beneficial relationships.Tips on negotiating your salary so you get paid what you are worth.Why you should invest in a ring light for your Zoom interviews.Ways to stay professional and how to stand out in virtual interviews.Be open, but understand that there are lines that should not be crossed.There are no limits to what you can attach to emails; send a video of yourself in a job application.If your social media compromises your ability to get a job, tidy it up, or hide it.Job interview day tips: be ready with notes, send a thank you and follow up email.Why you should never accept a job on the spot. Don't be afraid to ask why you did not get a job; it's a lesson for your next application.Final tips: take what works for you and apply it to your job hunt, and rejection is not the end!Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Group Chat Realness Facebook PageVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on LinkedInVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on LinkedInSophie Gold on InstagramGroup Chat Realness on InstagramKate Spade

We have some wonderful news: Sophie is pregnant with her first child! It is something she has wanted for as long as she can remember. To celebrate, we are talking about pregnancy, family, and adoption in today’s show. We hear about Sophie’s pregnancy so far and why – even though she shares her life on social media – she has decided to keep details like the baby's sex private. She offers her thoughts on sharing baby pictures online and why she might not do this. As a Black pregnant woman, there are legitimate concerns about your treatment in hospital, and while Sophie is aware of this, she has trust in her body and the medical system to make sure her baby’s journey earth-side is safe and gentle. We also touch on women who choose to remain childfree and why this choice does not make you less of a woman. As the conversation wraps up, Venita talks about being adopted, the impact this has had on her, and the deep gratitude she feels for her mother. Tune in today to hear this wonderful and uplifting conversation.Key Points From This Episode: Details about Sophie’s pregnancy and why she is choosing to keep her baby’s sex a secret.Sophie’s heightened gratitude and appreciation for her body now that it is growing her baby.How Sophie told her partner that she was pregnant and his reaction.Sophie’s decision to fire her OBGYN and what she learned about listening to her body.Acknowledging that Black women are treated differently in hospitals than white women.The fears Sophie has around giving birth in a foreign country and during the pandemic.Men are generally left out of the conversation around pregnancy and are missing milestones because of the pandemic.Sophie's message for those who might be struggling to conceive.It is more than fine to not want to have children; your life will still be full!Kids should be born from love, not as a way to save your relationship.Venita’s experience of being adopted and how this shaped her life.Why Venita has chosen not to find her biological mother.There are so many different ways to be a parent and give love!Plus-sized pregnancy: Many women are shamed and made to feel unhealthy.How Sophie deals with unsolicited advice and unwarranted attention now that she’s pregnant.The story of how Sophie watched her cat giving birth and the feeling she took away.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Group Chat Realness Facebook PageVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on InstagramGroup Chat Realness on Instagram'Black Doctor Dies of Covid-19 After Complaining of Racist Treatment'AAMCWomen Who Run with the WolvesWilliam BlakeGrace Atwood on InstagramKim Kardashian West

As you may have seen all over social media, there are advertisements for losing weight, getting fit, setting goals, and learning new skills. Yes, it’s that time of the year, where we are bombarded with messaging around new year’s resolutions. In this episode, Sophie and Venita ask – is setting new year’s resolutions a healthy thing to do in January? Tuning in, you’ll hear their personal responses to that question, as well as their musings on better ways to set personal goals for yourself. As we already know, small, actionable goals are easier to fulfill than grand resolutions, so that’s a good place to start! You’ll also get some tips for setting intentions during a pandemic and holding hold yourself accountable in quarantine, and Sophie and Venita share personal stories of the things they have manifested by creating vision boards. Listen in and stay tuned for some of our hosts’ intentions for the year ahead! All this and more in today’s episode.Key Points From This Episode: Why Venita believes that it isn’t healthy to set new year’s resolutions: namely, pressure.The difference between resolution and intention depends on who you’re doing it for.Small, actionable goals are easier to fulfill than grand annual resolutions.Creating goals when you can’t plan ahead – how to set intentions during a global pandemic.Some of the little things you can do every day that doesn’t rely on external validation.Hold yourself accountable by getting your friends involved or keeping a journal.Quarterly intentions are another way to break down new year’s resolutions.Get rid of what isn’t serving you or create a vision board that reflects your intention.Sophie and Venita share stories of what they have manifested through creating vision boards.Sophie shares two reasons why things take time to manifest or don’t manifest at all.Venita shares three intentions she has for 2021, starting with being more intentional.Hear some of Sophie’s intentions for 2021: read more, get outdoors more, and cook more.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Dr. John DemartiniTim FerrissThe SecretGroup Chat Realness Facebook PageVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on InstagramGroup Chat Realness on Instagram

You’ve seen them: SPANX, SKIMS…so many different brands offering and promoting shapewear, promising to give you confidence and whatever else your heart desires. Today we understand that corsets are old-fashioned contraptions that made it impossible for women to breathe, yet we still force our bodies into shapewear that make us look sucked in and tight. Are we truly empowering women or are we busy perpetuating the idea that our bodies are there just to satisfy the male gaze? Now, we don’t have a problem with shapewear in principle. Perhaps you want to avoid underwear lines, or maybe you just like the way it makes you feel. Whatever your reason, we just want you to wear it for a practical reason and not because you think that your body should look any other way to be beautiful. It comes down to your motivation for choosing to wear it. Sophie and Venita talk about the problem of hiding your soft lady bits or amplifying others where you feel you lack ‘volume’, because, sooner or later, you are going to be naked. They get into the topic of retouching and photoshopping, the futile task of striving for a perfect body, and what the media can do to prove to all of us that they have finally changed their ways. Key Points From This Episode: Sophie responds to a question about why she likes to wear SPANX. Is shapewear perpetuating the narrative that women have to be sucked in and ‘tight’? How corsets were designed to shape a women’s body in service of the male gaze. Understanding that – once you are naked – your body will be seen for what it is. How your motivation for wearing shapewear determines whether it is good or bad for you. The problematic marketing and messaging that goes into certain ‘beauty’ enhancers. Thoughts on the theory that everything men and women do are driven by sex. Plastic surgery and the obsession with bodily perfection that does not exist. Examples of brands that portray a healthy perspective on the role of beauty enhancers. Why brands tailor their marketing toward the male gaze and the media still use photoshop. The difference between retouching and photoshopping an image. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:SPANXSKIMS KAY Jewelers Ulta BeautyAerie Venita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

Hello, Darlings! It’s the week of Thanksgiving and, after nine years in the US, Sophie still feels weird about celebrating this holiday. Speaking of holidays, isn’t this the time of year where we get bombarded with external voices, particularly the opinions of family members who we only see once a year? In light of preparing our listeners for the snarky remarks of Aunt Louise or the pep talk from the Uber driver, we discuss the possibility of focusing inward rather than subjecting yourself to the voices out there – because there are a kajillion. The best antidote to sacrificing your inner happiness to get the approval of others is not to seek it in the first place. When you know who you are and have taught yourself to trust your inner voice, other people’s thoughts and feelings no longer pull you from pillar to post. Just look at Meghan and Harry: The pair said no to all the royal roles and societal expectations to pursue the life that they wanted, thereby expressing their uniqueness and purpose in life. Sophie and Venita talk about giving yourself permission to date who you date, work where you work, and do with your money whatever you want. They will also help you wrap your head around not apologizing for your decisions and offering explanations when it is none of anybody’s business. Be sure to come along for the ride! Key Points From This Episode: Preparing yourself for the inevitable questions that will pop up around the dinner table. The challenge of dealing with people’s opinions about how you should be living your life. Venita talks about the unwelcome encounter she had with a check-in official at the airport. How to respond to inappropriate questions in the most empowering manner. The importance of permitting yourself to do whatever you want with your hard-earned money.The wonderful things that happen when you begin to focus on your own voice and happiness. Why you have to learn to make decisions without the input and advice from others. The scary reality that some people become who society prescribes for them to be. Harry and Meghan: An example of a couple who defied the rules to honor their happiness. Sophie talks about the three things that happen when you begin living life on your terms. How conforming to others’ expectations robs you of living out your purpose and uniqueness. Why “yes” and “no” are complete answers that require zero explanation or excuse!A list of resources for becoming a more critical thinker and learning to trust yourself. Keeping in mind the biases and limitations inherent in another person’s advice.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Dr. John Demartini Runaway BrideThe Tim Ferriss ShowBill BrysonKurt Vonnegut Eckhart TolleMaya Angelou Venita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

Sophie is dishing out hard-to-hear relationship advice today, so buckle up. To the modern listener, her ideas might be antiquated, but wait until she argues the hell out of the popular advice we are given in progressive women’s magazines. Basically, her point is this: If he treats you like a plaything, fails to call you, does not open the car door or pull out your chair, girl, he is not that into you (or at least not in the way that you had hoped). Women want to be courted and chased (gasp!) and men should be allowed to step up to the plate and fight for them. And while Sophie is aware that her inbox might soon be flooded with messages from people accusing her of anti-feminism, she comes at it from the perspective of compassion, personal experience, and what she has seen happen with her girlfriends over and over again. Whether we like it or not, when something or someone is too accessible, we lose interest, whether it be in work, life, or dating. A man needs to see just how different you are from the other girls who chat him up and get the check on the first date – you want to show him that you value yourself and will not settle for a booty-call every second Tuesday. In this episode, Sophie and Venita also get candid about the over-sexualization of Black, especially curvy, women, explaining how they are primarily portrayed as the wild, exotic seductresses rather than the girl-next-door who the guy ends up marrying. Listeners will hear their take on sharing the details of your relationship with your girlfriends, what you can do to fix a toxic relationship (spoiler alert, nothing!), and why you might want to call up a therapist when working through a break-up. Key Points From This Episode: How the problematic portrayal of Black women in the media impact men’s perceptions. Sophie shares some of the derogatory messages she has received on dating apps. How the deep-rooted issue of oversexualizing Black women started with the slave masters. Thoughts on how the hip-hop and rap cultures might be perpetuating these narratives. What Sonic the Hedgehog reveals about society’s changing perceptions of Black women. The idea that curvy Black women are more readily subjected to over-sexualization. Venita talks about the insecurities she had because she doesn’t look like a ‘normal’ Black woman. Suggestions for how you can deal with a man who reveals his intentions to simply use you. The importance of knowing your boundaries when it comes to dating and life in general. Why it is okay to cut someone off after the first time they do something that offends you. Sophie makes a case for why – despite the modern world – men should pay for the first date. Advice about initiating texts, first-date sex, and letting a man open doors and pull out chairs. Communication: the first clue about whether a guy is into you or weighing up his options. How, when women do everything for a man, it impacts the dynamic of the relationship.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Sonic the HedgehogSex and the CityHe’s Just Not That Into You Maya Angelou Venita AspenVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on Instagram

We can all collectively exhale now that the 2020 presidential election results are in. For the past few weeks leading up to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’s victory, people around the world have been watching in anticipation and we Americans have sat on the edge of our sofas, waiting to hear who the 46th President of the United States will be. Such times are exhausting and coming out of them with your sanity intact takes a great deal of resilience and inner peace. But how do you center yourself and find stillness amid such chaotic moments, when a pandemic endures and civil unrest becomes the order of the day when your social media feed is littered with hatred and fake news? In this episode, Sophie and Venita discuss how they managed to navigate the recent uncertainty, getting into both the helpful things and those that only served to deepen their existing anxieties. Because while this election is over, life is guaranteed to throw other curve balls our way and to challenge us yet again with the reality of uncertainty. Whether, like Sophie, you choose to avoid engaging in things that constantly remind you of your predicament or, like Venita, you turn on all your notifications and have your TV on 24/7 just in case you miss something, we all long for solid ground to stand on when the world feels shaky. Tuning in today, you will not only leave with advice for protecting your mental health in times of uncertainty but find pearls of wisdom about being a kinder human being and respecting everybody, regardless of who they are. Key Points From This Episode: The nail-biting experience of waiting for the final election results to be announced. Sophie shares why uncertainty is difficult and talking about it not always helpful. Suggestions for activities that keep you grounded and centered amid the chaos. The importance of spreading kindness and respect – not hatred – in times of uncertainty. Keeping in mind that everyone, regardless of their political affiliation, is a human being. Venita makes a point about the distinction between a Republican and a Trump Republican.The problem that our society no longer allows people to have open and honest dialog. Why Sophie deliberately avoided the news, social media, and political conversations. The mistake of focusing too heavily on the Trump negatives rather than the Biden positives. The need to do thorough research about the policies you and those you elect stand for. Sophie explains why local media have far more credibility than mainstream news networks. Closing thoughts on why this is the time for us to leave behind the hate and disunity for good. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Kamala Harris on Twitter Joe Biden on TwitterStacey Abrams on TwitterVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on InstagramGroup Chat Realness on Instagram

Today on the show we are coming on just to tell all you lovely listeners that we are going on a little hiatus. Our next episode will be coming November 10th, 2020, after the elections. Then we will come back refreshed with another set of great episodes, incredible guests, and a whole variety of different topics. We will also be introducing some solo episodes, based on our current impactful books and bringing awareness to things that are usually thrown on the back-burner. So we are super excited to be able to give you a piece of both of us, individually and together, when we come back in November. Until then, remember to go out and vote, show up, and make your voice count! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Venita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

Jack of all trades, master of none? Not by any measure. Today we talk to the lovely Paula Rallis who is a pilot, house flipper, interior decorator, lifestyle blogger, Harvard graduate, mother, and the list goes on. And if you dig into her blog a little bit, you will quickly realize that this woman is doing it all – and doing it all darn well. We tend to believe that success comes from developing one skill and building a life-long career around it, but this is a far cry from the philosophy that has brought Paula to where she is today. When she finally walked away from a toxic relationship in which she was constantly told that she wasn’t capable, she managed to pick herself up and began achieving the goals she set out to, discovering that she had multiple talents and interests that she wanted to explore. For her, picking just one thing is almost unnatural because how on earth was she ever going to pick between all her passions and keep doing the same thing until she retired? In this episode, she gets candid about friends that keep you stuck, the value of therapy, the struggles of sharing (and not sharing) your personal life on social media, and finding a home base when you move around all the time. Sophie and Venita also get her to share her best productivity hack, the story behind getting her pilot’s license, and what it means to be one of a handful of female pilots in the world. Get ready for another brilliant Group Chat Realness conversation! Key Points From This Episode: Strategic lighting and other ideas for creating a dark, moody office space. Paula shares how breaking free from a toxic relationship ultimately motivated her to achieve. Why it is always better to be alone than to stick to a relationship that is no longer serving you.The tools and interventions that can help us get through life’s most difficult challenges. The problem with being ‘checked in on’ and kept in a place of vulnerability by others. When it is more beneficial to talk to a therapist than to share your journey with loved ones.Thoughts on the degree to which it is ‘safe’ to share your personal life on social media. Paula shares how she stays anchored and present despite moving houses all the time. Hear our guest’s top productivity hack and how she manages to switch off from work. How Paula started flying out of frustration – and why she avoids the story like the plague. The importance of ‘trusting the instrument’ not only in flying but also in life. First steps to getting your pilot’s license and what you can expect from a discovery flight. What it means for Paula to be one of the few female pilots and why representation matters. A fresh perspective on being a Jack of all trades versus focusing on only one thing.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Paula Rallis Paula Rallis HomePaula Rallis on TwitterPaula Rallis on InstagramTextured WavesThe Great FrogVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

With the passing of John Lewis earlier in July and, more recently, Ruth Bader Ginsberg (RBG), new light is shed on people who display phenomenal resilience and have the courage to fight for what they believe in. When we reflect on the lives of those who have fought for the freedom we have today, there seems to be a common quality among all of them: the ability to see the mission through and stick to the cause despite all the obstacles along the way. Unfortunately, this is no longer a value that is promoted by our convenience culture of the day. We have become too used to having everything at our fingertips, and when something proves challenging, we tend to throw in the towel and move on to the next thing. In this episode, Sophie and Venita take a deep dive into resilience, sharing what it means to them personally, how they have used it to conquer some of life’s most complicated problems, and how – poetically – this podcast is a manifestation of their come-hell-or-high-water attitude! Sophie is having internet issues while Venita misses an AirPod, yet, they show up to get serious about voting, pairing your resilience with wisdom and common sense, and allowing yourself to process the pain of hurtful words. Key Points From This Episode: Pushing through the hard stuff that comes with ending a relationship that’s run its course. Sophie talks about believing in love after divorce – and finding true love at that! Reflections on Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the contribution she has made to women’s rights.The importance of making your voice heard in the November 3, 2020 elections.How the ladies from Textured Waves and The Confident Collective embody resilience. Venita shares about being inspired by the Black women who defy all surfing stereotypes.Hear how our culture and society are a stumbling block to us developing resilience. Why, in relationships and elsewhere, resilience has to be accompanied by intelligence. Venita on beating the odds and becoming a model despite being told that it will never happen. Not allowing other people’s projections to tear you away from doing whatever you want. Advice for those who want to be more like RBG, John Lewis, and other resilient people. The power of vulnerability and working through the pain of rejection and hurtful words. Spending time with yourself and learning to let your emotions fly.Learning to express your emotions in tears and letting go of what others say about you.Finding the belief within yourself to garner and shape your resilience.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Pamela Munson Ruth Bader Ginsburg (BBC News)NPR Article on RBG John LewisThe Confident CollectiveTextured WavesVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

In this episode of Group Chat Realness, we talk to the ladies of The Confident Collective, Kristina Zias, and Raeann Langas. Whether you want to call them curvy, plus-size, or just plain gorgeous, these models exude an energy that turns heads and gets them oohed and aahed over on Instagram and everywhere else they go. The two talk to Sophie and Venita about the journey of starting their personal brands and business, breaking the stereotypical influencer molds, and having to consistently pump out creative content. They get into their experiences of quarantine-life, sharing how it surprisingly flared up their creativity yet complicated their work-life balance even further — because being shut up at home isn’t exactly a vacation when a large chunk of your work requires social media engagement. Joining in, listeners will get Kristina and Raeann’s perspectives on being pregnant and/or single when social distancing is suddenly a thing, the importance of having self-respect, and when it is (and is not) okay to use the F-word. Be sure to tune in for some more realness and laughter with Venita A and Sophie G! Key Points From This Episode: Our guests talk about how they started their online-offline business, The Confident Collective. Find out how being yourself and disrupting the norm can serve your career. How Kristina and Raeann add value to and help people become their best selves. Consistency and other requirements for hustling successfully in the content creation space. Advice about being bold and maintaining the work-life balance as a social media influencer. Keeping the momentum versus slowing down to reflect and regroup during COVID-19. Thoughts on how the pandemic has changed us and whether we would go back to “normal”. Raeann and Kristina talk food and hunting for the best breakfast burrito in LA. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Kristina Zias on InstagramKristina Zias Website (Miss Zias)Kristina Zias on TwitterRaeann Langas on InstagramRaeann Langas Blog Raeann Langas on TwitterThe Confident CollectiveThe Confident Collective on InstagramThe Country Kitchen on YelpPaco’s Tacos on YelpUber EatsThe Bachelor UntamedCity of GirlsFaith: Taking FlightDumplin’Julie MurphyVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

We are thrilled to be joined by the ladies from Textured Waves – Danielle Black Lyons, Martina Duran, and Chelsea Woody, who many of our followers said they wanted to hear from. There are some disparaging stereotypes about Black people being out in the water, but these girls are killing it with their surf collective, showing young girls and boys of color that they too can pursue water sports and make valuable contributions in this space. Because that is just it: When our three guests were growing up, they never saw images of Black women surfing, and this lack of representation might have held them back from going after their passion much earlier in their lives – an obstacle they are adamant about removing for the next generation. In this episode, Sophie and Venita ask them questions about approaching the lineup as a woman, protecting their hair from the seawater, the best places to grab a swimsuit, and this wonderful thing called night surfing. Danielle, Martina, and Chelsea also share how women affect the energy in the water; the historical and contemporary role models who have paved the way for Black women in the sport; their obsessions with Dani Burt, Misty Copeland, and all the Simones; and expert advice on where you will find the best waves in the US and beyond. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Textured WavesTextured Waves Community Resource PageTextured Waves on InstagramDanielle Black Lyons on InstagramMartina Duran on InstagramChelsea WoodySea Us Now (Film) Blue CrushAndrea KabwasaMary MillsSharon SchafferThe Seea7TILL8Dani BurtSerena WilliamsMisty CopelandDominique DawesBeyoncé Simone ManuelSimone Biles on InstagramAndy Irons: Kissed by God Blue MindWaves of Resistance Venita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

With US national elections looming, we are taking this opportunity to remind you of the importance of voting! Here at Group Chat Realness, we feel it is a civic right and responsibility that we should all exercise — having your say and taking part in a democracy is a great privilege that not everyone in the world has or has had access to! So we are urging you to go out there and make the most of this chance, do your research, and take part in rebuilding what is broken about our country. We start off our conversation looking at Sophie's residential status in the US and her feelings about paying taxes and not being allowed to vote. From there we get into the theme of citizenship and what it means to be invested in a country's politics. One of our major points in the episode is around talking about the vote, it is so important to discuss these issues and involve your social circle. Voting and who you support should not be taboo! We finish off looking forward to what is, for some people, a nerve-wracking period in American history and thinking about what it means in the current pandemic conditions. Make sure to listen in with us today and more importantly, make sure to register to vote!Key Points From This Episode: The inspiration for today's focus on voting and why Sophie cannot vote.Sophie's feelings about taxation without representation. Reasons for and against applying for US citizenship.Sophie's last nine years in the US and how quickly the time has flown by.The impetus to rebuild the country and fix what is broken about it. The responsibility to vote and how to go about researching the parties and candidates.Opening the conversation on voting, discussing the subject, and owning your vote. Getting out of the common echo chambers and expanding your mind.Voting numbers and the statistics that show waning involvement.The restrictions on polls due to COVID-19 — vote early!Why Venita is nervous about the upcoming elections. The importance of civic responsibility and exercising a right to vote.The conversations we should all be having leading up to the elections.Tweetables:“Should I have poured a glass of wine for this heavy conversation.” — @sophiegold [0:02:00] “You have the ability to vote, you have to go out and vote!” — @sophiegold [0:07:36] “Stop treating the conversation of who you are voting for as something you should be ashamed of.” — @VenitaAspen [0:08:12]“Voting early is going to be the most important thing we can do this year.” — @VenitaAspen [0:12:59]Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:The RepublicRock the VoteJohn LewisVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

An interesting topic that popped up in our group chat this week was, “How do I make friends as a thirty-something-year-old?”, and, perhaps more importantly, “How do I get to know new people when I’m stuck at home?” As always, Sophie and Venita were eager to chime in, not only because their own friendship started and blossomed amid the pandemic but also because it is something many of us have thought about or even struggled with. It could be that you doubt yourself or that people would want to befriend you, or perhaps you are shy or still recovering from a hurtful ghosting experience. Wherever you stand with friendships, just know that it is never too late to make new friends with whom to explore new parts of yourself. Just take Sophie and Venita as an example – the two of them got chatting in their Instagram DMs and a natural friendship developed, which is interesting since we expect to make friends in bars and clubs, not necessarily on social media. While they have never met in person or even breathed the same air, they have become so close that they started this podcast together! Twenty-twenty has turned our lives upside down but it has also introduced us to different ways of being in the world, and that includes a new set of rules for social engagement. We can now Zoom our way into new friendships, join online book clubs and knitting hubs, or even sign up to a friendship app that allows us to handpick the kind of people we want to hang out with. Tune in to hear Sophie and Venita unpack it all. Key Points From This Episode: Start an online conversation by recognizing someone’s value and reaching out to them. Leverage apps like Zoom, FaceTime, and Houseparty to have face-to-face chats. Hear about the tendency for some friendships to fizzle out and why it shouldn’t concern you. Reassurance for those who are shy or afraid that others might not want to befriend them. Consider how social media makes it easier for us to initiate and maintain friendships. Make friends by joining online groups where the members share a common interest. Learn about the exciting platform for making friends if you are a selective type. Why taking risks is a necessary step toward reaching out and creating new connections. How COVID-life has changed the dynamics of relationships and what we need from them.Advice for letting someone know that the friendship has ended (without ghosting them). Enjoying the journey of growing as a person and seeing who will come along for the ride! Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:ZoomHousepartyBumble BFFVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

Since we’ve been in lockdown and everything happened with BLM, things have just felt … meh, and at the same time, like the world around us is on fire. The uncertainties have left many feeling emotionally washed out, uninspired, and dwindling in confidence, and this episode is all about giving you some pep in your step. Sophie and Venita theorize that the secret to getting back your spark lies in your perceptions. If you believe that the universe has your back, you have an optimistic viewpoint that elevates you above all the negative energy that threatens to drag you down. In this episode, the two of them share ten strategies (but who’s counting anyway?) for you to implement and reset the sparkle in your life, starting with writing down your accomplishments and fine-tuning your mindset to setting boundaries, getting a handle on time management, and the often-dreaded saying no to people. They talk about not getting stuck in past decisions and staying curious and open to new and better opportunities that come your way, regardless of the investments you have made and the opinions that other people might have. You are the leader of your life, so you get to decide what terms you live by. For more suggestions on getting back your mojo and supporting others to do the same, be sure to tune in to what they’ve got to say! Key Points From This Episode: The antidote to losing your spark: reflecting on the things you have already achieved. Dealing with uncertainty by choosing to have an optimistic attitude despite the circumstances. Believing that the universe has your back and that life is happening for you – not to you. How healthy perceptions safeguard you against comparing yourself to others on Instagram. Sophie reflects on setting a positive intention for her life despite her difficult childhood.Living life on your terms by doing what makes you happy and saying no to things that don’t. How reading allows you to escape reality and broadens your mind to other possibilities.The importance of considering who you spend time with and allow to influence your energy. Hear how setting boundaries and time management can help you take control of your life.Venita and Sophie offer suggestions for saying no in a polite yet empowering way. Getting unstuck from past decisions by dreaming big and remaining open to change. Practical tips for getting out of a slump and resetting your mindset at any point in the day. Fun alternatives for checking in with friends and family and finding out how they are. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Man’s Search for MeaningThe Marriage of Heaven and HellThe Hero’s JourneyThe Alchemist “The Allegory of the Cave” Resource Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of LessVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

Ever wondered what your life would be like if Instagram was shut down overnight? Who would you read or listen to, and where would you turn for validation or the latest trends? Social media can be a tough taskmaster, not only because it can expose the frailty of our self-esteem if we don’t get the likes we want, but also because it is near impossible to keep up with all the trends and challenges when the FOMO hits. But the dark side of social media extends well beyond the personal – it profoundly impacts society and the messages we communicate to each other about what it means to be a valuable human being (or not). While we don’t argue that these platforms can be useful, they easily obscure the heart of a message, causing trend-followers to post inappropriately and doing harm to those who the message was originally meant to empower. That’s why we appeal to all our listeners to do proper due diligence before posting or reposting anything or participating in such fads as the black box ‘Muted but Listening’ posts or the black and white photo challenge. We have got to get firmly grounded in our views and think for ourselves instead of getting pulled to and fro by the trends of the day, regardless of how well-meaning they may be. Perhaps we should ask ourselves whether posting yet another selfie (but in a different color) is doing the world any favors and if we cannot spend our energy more productively by talking about things that truly move the needle, such as encouraging people to register to vote? It’s high time each of us scrutinized our social media engagement – and Sophie and Venita are here for all of it! Key Points From This Episode: The original intent behind the black and white photo challenge and how it got hijacked.The dangers of jumping on a social media bandwagon without understanding the full context. It is our responsibility as users of social media to fact-check the trends we are advocating. Why we should all shift our energy away from frivolous trends to the things that really matter. Learning to do research, discern, say no, and empower people in truly meaningful ways. Understanding that you can hurt someone by misrepresenting the origin of the message. The lack of individuality and the reward of being confident enough to go out on your own. Using the alone-time for introspection and figuring out who you are and what you stand for. Leveraging your platform to encourage others to register to vote in what may be the most important election ever! The value of listening and trying to understand the thought processes that differ from yours. Digging deep to establish your standpoint instead of going with the crowd by default.Striking the balance between doing what you think is right and understanding the whole story.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Origins of the #ChallengeAccepted TrendVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

Venita and Sophie are back to tackle yet another deep-rooted societal problem – one that affects especially those who fall outside of what is considered the ‘ideal’ body size range. After recently posting a picture of herself on social media, Venita got a nasty comment about ‘needing to eat’, and what makes it worse is that such remarks are often not considered to be body shaming when you are a size zero. When you have the much-desired petite body type, some people won’t think twice about making a derogatory remark about your weight, most likely assuming that such comments would not hurt you. On the other end of the spectrum, we know that curvy women are being shamed directly and indirectly all the time, and even men who don’t have a six-pack are classified as having ‘dad bods’. These kinds of labels reveal a great deal about our modern-day cultural norms and how we are bullied into conforming to certain standards, even for things that are as personal as a body type. Listeners can be sure that Venita and Sophie leave no stone unturned, getting into the psyches of body shaming perpetrators, discussing how body positivity bears on social media and branding, and what can be done to achieve greater inclusivity for all shapes and sizes. Key Points From This Episode: The dehumanizing effect of body shaming and why those in the public eye are often targeted.Avoiding assumptions about people’s experiences based on their glamorous Instagram posts. What body-shaming reveals about a perpetrator’s relationship with themselves. How our warped expectations of people manifest in the ‘advice’ we give on social media. Sophie talks about creating a platform to show women of all sizes how fabulous they can be! The unique challenges faced by the petite versus the plus-size body type community. How we are conditioned from childhood to favor and prefer certain body types over others. Sophie shares how her painful experience as an 11-year-old girl started her self-love journey. Getting stuck in the thought process of changing your body because of what someone said. The elusiveness of perfection and how the media dupes us with their messaging.Why the misrepresentation of ‘curvy’ women often does more harm than good. When we might see a body positivity movement for men and why it is unlikely to ever happen. The message of inferiority that brands are sending to people who they refuse to represent. Mastering your life by listening to your inner voice rather than to the voices from outside. The common perception that curvy people are lazy, slow, and incapable of fitness. Venita questions why plus sizes are still specified as such and separated from all others. Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:Nasty GalTony RobbinsBonobos Dr. John Demartini Barry’s BootcampVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

We are bringing the group chat to life in this once-a-week broadcast in which we talk about real topics, current events, stories, interviews, and more. To properly kick off the podcast, hosts Venita Aspen and Sophie Gold introduce themselves, revealing what they do for a living, the recreational activities they most enjoy, the quotes they live by, and how the two of them got together — and what a wild ride it has been! Following a few DM exchanges and an Instagram Live conversation with more than 300 viewers, they felt the need to build out their discussion in the form of a podcast, and voilá! But it’s not all fun and games with these two. They tackle several weighty issues in this first full-length episode, talking about the irk they felt at the inauthenticity of certain brands in expressing their solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement. And while companies need to take a stand against systemic racism, one cannot help but feel that, for some of them, it would amount to little more than lip service while others only want to get in for selfish PR gains. The real results, they argue, will come from a lifelong commitment to change. Venita and Sophie talk about the dual discrimination of racism and sexism that Black women suffer when the very foundations of the country rested on their shoulders, and they offer some practical advice to everyone on how to respond appropriately to the call for change. Tune in for some banter and serious food for thought! Key Points From This Episode: Get to know the quirks and quotes-to-live-by of your hosts Venita Aspen and Sophie Gold. Examples of how a ‘no’ at the moment does not mean ‘no’ forever—it will come back. Sophie’s difficult upbringing, her love for books, and resetting the trajectory for her life. How Group Chat Realness sprouted from an irk about the inauthenticity of brands. Sophie talks about the appropriate response for Non-Black people to systemic racism. Hear about the two-hour-long Instagram Live conversation that started it all. The paradoxical emotions of anger and sadness at the injustices suffered by Black people. Rioting is the expected response when people are caged up and ignored for too long. The perception of Blackness and its associated stereotypes are the issue that needs fixing. Anti-racism should be a life-long commitment — not something you claim while it is a trend.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:William BlakeThe Shooting Death of Ahmaud ArberyGeorge Floyd Police Killing Amy Cooper StoryHidden FiguresWhite Fragility The Vanishing HalfVenita AspenVenita Aspen on TwitterVenita Aspen on InstagramSophie GoldSophie Gold on TwitterSophie Gold on Instagram

Are you ready for something really real? Venita and Sophie are bringing you all the realness of a group chat in this brand new podcast, launching on July 23rd! After the success of our Instagram Live conversations, we wanted to go one step further in bringing you the realest chats and interviews on the realest topics, so make sure to join us for Group Chat Realness!