here's what I hear

In this part 2 of a two part series I share with you the final 4 of 7 tips that can improve the relationships in your life. In my work as a relationship counselor and coach I've helped many clients over come their challenges and barriers using these strategies. I also use these in my personal life and I find them to be immensely helpful.Part One#1 Develop Your Emotional Self Awareness#2 Stop Criticizing#3 VulnerabilityPart Two#4 Deep Listening#5 Validation#6 Stop Fighting over Fact Finding#7 Seek UnderstandingIf you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think and I'd be honored if you left a review!Work with me! Schedule a free consult callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this part 1 of a two part series I share with you 3 of 7 tips that can improve the relationships in your life. In my work as a relationship counselor and coach I've helped many clients over come their challenges and barriers using these strategies. I also use these in my personal life and I find them to be immensely helpful. #1 Develop Your Emotional Self Awareness#2 Stop Criticizing#3 VulnerabilityPart Two#4 Deep Listening#5 Validation#6 Stop Fighting over Fact Finding#7 Seek UnderstandingIf you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think and I'd be honored if you left a review!Work with me! Schedule a free consult callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

First off, I want to acknowledge my lack of consistency with releasing episodes this summer. That's not my intention but I've also been embracing a different routine with open hands. Perhaps it would be best to say I'll be releasing future episodes periodically with the hope of getting back to every other week in the coming months. I appreciate you and if you've been following along, thanks for your patience with my rhythm. In this episode I talk about one of the biggest problems in relationship - constantly taking on a defensive posture. The reality is, many couples get stuck in battle mode no matter what, when, or how your partner says something to you, even when it's truly not about you, this results in a defensive posture. When we learn to develop a mindful approach we begin to see that a curious and genuine question to seek understanding and clarification is a quick way to diffuse the tension. Listen along as I describe more about this dynamic and share some skillful ways to change defensiveness to curiosity.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think and I'd be honored if you left a review!Ready to dive deeper? Schedule a free consult callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

There are all sorts of issues and problems we face in relationships - communication shortcomings, over crossed boundaries, rebuilding trust, resolving conflict, increasing intimacy, and many more. For all of these issues there are countless solutions we can use to try and improve in these areas. One skill I find to be most impactful is the practice of Mindfulness.In this episode I talk about what mindfulness is and how to start a simple mindfulness practice. The reason I find mindfulness so helpful is because it is accessible by anyone and anywhere - you don't need a coach or counselor or guru to teach you how to do it.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think and I'd be honored if you left a review!Ready to dive deeper? Schedule a free consult callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

Anger, what a daunting emotion to understand and get to know within us. We all have anger within us, we all have things that activate this emotion on a regular basis - often times a daily basis. Sometimes anger gets the best of us and it's hard to control how we let our anger out and then it comes out in hurtful, destructive, or harmful ways. In this episode I want to share with you a framework to understand anger and how to more effectively deal with this emotion. I talk about consuming anger, childhood modeling and how it affects our relationship with anger, learning to embrace the anger part within you, and desiring connectionIf you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think and I'd be honored if you left a review!Ready to dive deeper? Schedule a free consult callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this episode I talk about what it means to be self-actualized and how trauma affects this concept. So often I talk with people wrestling with over coming trauma and inevitably that trauma has effected their relationships. I want to share with you what I have learned and come to experience both personally and professionally about the power of self and the importance of becoming authentically You.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Ready to dive deeper? Schedule a consult callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this episode I share about my recent processing around grief. I've experience some family members passing in the last month as well as some other forms of grief that has really got me reflecting on my own grief process. So, I want to share a bit about that with you. First I think it's important we understand a bit about why we grieve and how grief is a unique emotion. Secondly, I give a couple suggestions on how to welcome in the grief process.I hope you enjoy!And if you did, I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereLooking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshopReady for transformational relationship change? Join THRIVE - a group coaching program all about relationships.A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In many of the relationships I work there is often a man who is struggling significantly with identity, purpose, and life satisfaction. Now, just because the title of this episode is geared for men, what I want to share I believe can be helpful for anyone who has a man in their life - whether it be a romantic partner, a family member, friend, or colleague. I find that many men struggle with what it means to be a man, especially in a romantic relationship. The unfortunate reality is, there is a lot of junk out there when it comes to advice for men. Many of the tips fall into what I call toxic masculinity. I usually like to talk about what to do instead of what not to do but with this topic I think it will hit home harder by talking about three of the most toxic traits men can possess - always needing to be right, never taking advice from your pattern, and believing sex is on demand.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereLooking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshopReady for transformational relationship change? Join THRIVE - a group coaching program all about relationships.A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

Fighting in relationships can be exhausting, defeating, and decrease the satisfaction in the relationships. So why do couples fight and continue to fight? In this episode I share three of the unique factors in romantic relationships that contribute to the perfect breeding grounds for frequent fighting.And guess what? It's actually a GOOD thing that you fight! Of course, there is a difference between healthy and unhealthy fighting - kind language, respect, and not cutting down - but something I often tell couples is that if you are fighting, at least you are communicating.I adapted the concepts in this episode from this Ester Perel VideoIf you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereLooking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshopReady for transformational relationship change? Join THRIVE - a group coaching program all about relationships.A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

Let's face it, making and maintaining friends as a adult is not as simple as we'd like. I've talked with so many clients and friends, and personally experienced this reality too - adult friendships leave a lot to be desired. More and more I am convinced that we are becoming less and less connected, yet, desiring community more than ever before. So, in this episode I share what I believe to be part of the problem with trying to make friends as an adult and some simple challenges for you to work through these barriers.If you enjoy the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereLooking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshopReady for transformational relationship change? Join THRIVE - a group coaching program all about relationships.A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this part 3 three episode I wrap (pun intended) up the short series about How to Manage Family Drama During the Holidays. If you haven't listened to parts 1 and 2 I highly recommend going back and giving those a listen as well but you don't have to listen to them in order so since you're here now, give this a listen.In this episode I talk all about what YOU can do to improve time with family and it has to do with creating space for yourself to rest, build rhythm, and create ritual. In this episode I also share a simple meditation and visualization technique with you that you can take and use every day. I hope you enjoy!Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. I look forward to journeying with you in 2023!If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

Understanding your own conflict style, the conflict styles of those you are in relationship with, and more healthy conflict styles is an vital part of managing family drama during the holidays. In this episode I talk about 5 conflict styles:AvoidingAccommodatingCompetingCompromisingCollaboratingI talk about the down falls of each and also the benefits of each. I also share why and when I think Collaborating is the healthy conflict style to strive for.I hope you enjoy the episode!If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this episode I talk about the very normal and real relationship challenges which often come up with greater intensity during the holidays. Family is one of the most challenging relationship dynamics to work through, especially when it is with family members who you want to continue to have a relationship with. In this multi part topic I first start by sharing the skill of self reflection. I hope you enjoy and find at least one skill which you can use to improve the relationships in your life.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshopA couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this episode I talk about the importance of setting boundaries in all relationships. Did you know that boundaries are an important part even in healthy relationships? Boundaries aren't just for toxic or negative relationships, they help us thrive in all relationships. Setting healthy boundaries first starts with be honest with ourselves. Are we clear with ourselves and committed internally to where the boundary needs to be drawn? Secondly, we need to identify consequences should the boundary be crossed or not respected. Lastly, we need to clearly communicate the boundary to those it impacts. If you resonate with this topic and enjoy the episode or wrestling with other relationship issues, I'd love to offer you a free consultation session - book belowBook a Free Consultation Session Here

On today's episode I had the pleasure of speaking with friend and colleague Amy Morrison from True Core Health. Amy is a wellness specialist and Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado. She specializes in helping individuals and groups connect with their true self through slowing down with breath work, understanding and regulating the nervous system, and mental wellness. As a Certified Coach through XPT (Extreme Performance Training) she is also an expert at understanding how important our physical health is to our wellness journeys. She also leads Ice & Heat workshops which utilize ice bath and sauna immersion. These workshops are an incredible way to literally sink into your nervous system and through her coaching learn how to regulate and connect.Work with Amy by visiting her website hereSend her an email at amy@truecorehealth.comFollow her on Instagram @truecorehealth

Today I have a special episode to share! I was a guest on my wife's podcasts heal & go public. We talked about what to do in relationships when you feel like you are moving at different paces or in different directions with beliefs and spirituality. We also talk about divorce and how to navigate these challenging topics with a partner. Also, be sure to check out Carin's (my wife) work here:Check out Carin's website: http://www.carinhuebner.comBook a discovery call (free trial session) with Carin: https://portal.carinhuebner.com/public/appointment-scheduler/62706dfa645c7acde0abffef/scheduleI hope you enjoy!

How many times recently have you told someone this or heard this from someone else - "are you evening listening to me?!" I believe that every couple and individuals in any type of relationship have had this phrase come up more than once. The reality is, one of the biggest sources of relationship conflict is poor listening skills. This is because we are not born with good listening skills but rather good listening skills are exactly that, a skill. This means they need to be learned, developed, and honed. There is no better place to make sure you are listening well than in the relationships that are most important to you. If you are struggling with communication and listening, this episode is for you.

In this episode I share about the skill of asking yourself the hardest questions you can imagine. I find that many people are more afraid of asking hard questions than the answer. I believe your internal dialogue can teach us a lot when we venture into the space of what if?. This doesn't mean that you have to answer the question one way or another. It doesn't even mean that the answer you initially land on has to be the direction you go in. However, I find that exploring these hard questions is often vital to working through barriers in life. I hope you enjoy the episode!

The lack of self care is one of the biggest personal issues I find many struggle with in relationships and this makes a lot of sense because if we are running dry, how can we expect to show up in a healthy and constructive way? In this episode I talk about the concept of hardness and softness. I shared about my own journey being aware of these tendencies in myself through a recent self care practice. I want to challenge and encourage you as well to engage in your own self care. 

When is self confidence a good thing and when does it become over the top? In this episode I share a bit about my own personal journey with confidence, arrogance, and finding my way back to what it means to have a healthy amount of self confidence. I also talk about the reality that even when done appropriately, confidence can still come off abrasive and that's not up to you to really take on.

In this part 2 episode I continue the discussion about the challenging process of rebuilding trust in relationships. This is a theme I hear a lot of individuals and couples struggling with so I want you to know you are not alone.  I want to share with you more about the concept from Gottman called ATTUNE. Part one covered Awareness, Turning Toward, and Tolerance. Part two covers Understanding, Non-Defensive Responding, and Empathy.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereLooking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshopReady for transformational relationship change? Join THRIVE - a group coaching program all about relationships.A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this episode I talk about the very real, frequent, and challenging work on rebuilding trust in relationships. This is a theme I hear a lot of individuals and couples struggling with.  I shared about a helpful concept from Gottman called ATTUNE and I break the topic into two parts. In this part one I discuss the steps and skills of Awareness, Turning Toward, and Tolerance. If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Join THRIVE - a group coaching program all about relationships. A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

If you've ever worked toward a goal, you know the feeling when progress starts to stall. Perhaps you've been making a lot of progress, even faster than anticipated, then BOOM almost out of nowhere progress grinds to a halt. This is true in our relationships and certainly true in counseling and coaching. In this episode I share the reality that progress is never linear, our human nature minimizes progress and maximizes failures, and the very real possibility of backsliding.

Everyday there are false messages we've come to believe and tell ourselves internally or hear externally - sometimes implicitly and sometimes explicit. Three of the most common false messages I hear are perfectionism, all or nothing, and finding worth in others.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July! A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

One of the key defining differences between masters of relationships and disasters of relationships according to Gottman is kindness. Being kind to others and having a posture of kindness is SO important. Listen along as I talk about the 5:1 ration and how to be kind to others and to yourself.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July! A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

I really don't believe compatibility is a thing. I believe have a mutual goal is the key to a healthy and thriving relationship. In this episode I talk about unmet needs and what might be a deal breaker.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July! A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

I talk about emotional connection with just about every person I work with. This comes up in careers, romantic relationships, personal development, spiritually - the list goes on and on. In this episode I talk about how emotional connection is different than just being connected to someone else, I describe how connection is built, anger, and healthy emotional expression.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July! A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

The biggest indicator if a relationship is going to work long term is how conflict is managed. Learn three simple strategies to better manage conflict. If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July! A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this episode I talk about some of the most common themes I hear when people are considering starting counseling or coaching. Spoiler, there's very few reasons why you shouldn't start and most likely you've already waited longer than you should've.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July! A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

In this episode I talk about how to communicate in relationships. The fundamental key to any healthy form of communication is validation. I share what this looks like and how to structure it. I also offer a tip on scheduling frequent check in time and spending quality time together.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery callInterested in free worksheets? Click hereLooking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshopReady for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July!A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletterI occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it hereRead more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.comFollow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounselingDrop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com

Welcome to here's what I hear - a podcast all about relationships, personal development, and connection. My name is Jesse Huebner and I am a counselor and coach based in Denver, Colorado. In this podcast I'll be sharing about some of the issues and barriers I encounter in the work I do and share with you some of the tips, solutions, and skills that have helped others overcome these issues. Of course I never use confidential information and this doesn't take the place of counseling or therapy.If you enjoyed the episode I would love to hear what you think. Leave a review!Want to work with me? Schedule a discovery call Interested in free worksheets? Click here Looking for more simple relationship tips and strategies? Join my free monthly workshop Ready for transformational relationship change? Stay tuned for a group coaching program launching in July! A couple times a month I email out some simple relationship tips and advice- Join my newsletter I occasionally post some thoughts about relationship and life on my blog - Follow it here Read more about me and my approach on my website - jessehuebner.com Follow me on Instagram - @jessehuebnercounseling Drop me an email - counseling@jessehuebner.com