Milk Faced - Parenting For Imbeciles

In this cheery show we’re discussing risk and danger and how much you should protect your offspring from the horrors of the world. We chat about physical danger, whether to worry about strangers, and the new dangers that lurk in the internet. But basically we’re just listing ways your kids might die. Links for you: […]

In this episode we learn how to properly Judy Murray your kids and set them up for athletic glory, about Sally’s sporting success in the fields of horse beauty and hockey, and her shame at being kicked out of Brownies for planting pornography in a child’s bag. We also discuss pole dancing for kids, and […]

Villa? Hotel? Tent? Booze cruise? In Milk Faced 31 we discuss the ideal holiday with kids, and how to make your summer break as pain free as possible. Links for you: Our upcoming skiing adventure where we intend not to see our kids for a week is with Ski Esprit. Sally’s fancy Portuguese holiday tip […]

Hello sailors! The good ship Milk Faced is back in port. Shiver me timbers, etc. After eight months of intensive podcasting training (drinking gin) we’ve returned to the virtual airwaves with renewed vigour. This episode is a recap where we discuss what we’ve been up to since the last episode. A few things we discuss […]

For the Milk Faced Christmas special we’ve been chatting to Kellie Shirley, actress off of Eastenders, The Office, Wimbledon, Run For Your Wife and One Man Two Governors. She talks about her 4-month-old twins, Christmas, Wetherspoons, acting, and wine obviously. During the podcast Kellie weirdly plugged Dawn French’s new book According to Yes. Kellie was […]

In this episode the journalist Georgina Fuller joins us to chat about a variety of topics including the difference between boys and girls, life in the countryside, saying yes to things, village Zumba,  and the time Robbie accidentally punched a woman in the face. Oh, and how much she’d spend on a bottle of wine […]

In this episode of Milk Faced we speak to Randall and Stuart, a gay couple with two adopted children who tell us about their experiences of adoption in America, and how it differs from the UK system. It’s a bit more serious than the usual nonsense we churn out, and gets a bit emotional in […]

In Milk Faced 026 we talk to the award winning playwright, author, columnist, actress and co-artistic director of Old Trunk Theatre Company, Miss Sadie Hasler, as she talks about deciding whether tor not to have children. The first three minutes is basically just a bunch of people shrieking having been in the pub too long, but […]

This week children’s entertainer, comedian and general nice man Joz Norris tells us all about kids’ parties, magic tricks, and hitting on hot nannies. There’s plenty of advice on what makes a good party, so try and get through the first seven minutes or so when we talk about vomit and nullos. It’s a long […]

We’re back! Did you miss us? This week we discuss dealing with children’s eczema and Sally’s plans to see the UK’s most expensive dermatologist. If you’ve got any eczema experience, drop us an e-mail: hello@milkfaced.co.uk We also open our overflowing postbag to answer one reader’s concerns about wine chat, and another’s worries about using a playpen […]

This week, the author Ruth Field pops down to the Milk Faced studio complex to talk about running, healthy eating, her twins, and why her mother prays for her! It’s probably the best episode we’ve done, so well worth listening to. If you want to get into running you can buy Ruth’s excellent Run Fat […]

In this jam-packed episode of Milk Faced we answer a reader’s e-mail asking for advice on punishing children. We also talk about the amazing ebay buggy advert and the boy who got fined for missing a birthday party. Robbie’s amazing thing: Togetherness. A really funny comedy from the US of A about young parents. Most […]

This episode was supposed to be about sex education but rapidly went downhill. We talk about Sally’s mental dreams, rolling condoms onto bananas, and the prevalence of paedophiles in 1980s schools. This all comes from the Swedish genital cartoon which has angered people who are scared of their private parts this week: We also talk […]

Happy New Year! In this week’s audio explosion we’re making our parenting New Year’s resolutions. We also discuss the aftermath of placenta eating, and Robbie’s move to the country. At some point we discuss the documentary Fed Up, which if you’re American you can buy on iTunes. If you’re British you can’t. Racism in action […]

Merry Christmas! In part two of our human eating special we tuck in to a lovely Christmas meal of roast placenta. Just the thing to serve to the family. Will Robbie, Sally and our special guest, the author and journalist Mike Millar, eat some? Or will they decide it’s just too disgusting? Maybe play this […]

In this week’s episode we’re joined by the author and journalist Mike Millar as we prepare a traditional Christmas roast placenta. We talk you through the preparation and cooking of this delightful taste explosion. Yummy! If you enjoy hearing Mike feeling sick, why not buy his book, The Secret Life Of Numbers. Part two of […]

Boobies! This week we’re talking about breastfeeding, or more specifically the pressures, expectations and barriers women encounter whilst breastfeeding. It’s in the news because a nice lady called Louise Burns got asked to cover up whilst breastfeeding her child in Claridge’s. Honestly, some people.* We also chat about this summer’s boycott of the Dorchester Group […]

Happy advent! In this week’s show we get you in the festive spirit with chat about Christmas traditions. This includes our family traditions, and strange (arguably racist) traditions from around the world. We also receive our first ever complaint from a listener. Oops. If you’ve got a family Christmas tradition, e-mail us at hello@milkfaced.co.uk and […]

In this week’s podcast a proper journalist Louisa Peacock, Deputy Women’s Editor at The Daily Telegraph, joins us to talk about women and how to raise girls. And very good she is too. We discuss feminism, body image, and how much she’d spend on a bottle of wine. Check us out discussing serious topics. It’s like […]

Where should you bring up your kids – the city or the country? As Robbie is moving to the countryside after fifteen years in London we discuss whether the bright lights of the city or the tranquility of the country is the better place to raise your offspring. Also Sally reveals how much she spent […]

Wondering whether to spend £1000 on NCT classes or go for the free hospital ones? Want to know what Baby Sensory is? Want to know what to do if you get kidnapped by terrorists? We answer all these question in episode 013 of Milk Faced where we talk about the multitude of classes on offer […]

In dark times do you ever dream of a time without children? Well our guests this week are living that dream! Yes, it’s the Milk Faced Non-parents special. Our guests are two dedicated non-parents, Tristan Rosenfeldt, presenter of The Golf Club podcast, and the renowned journalist Alec Mattinson. We ask our guests what they find most annoying about […]

Do I need to buy a Hermes changing bag with diamond-encrusted baby wipe holder? In episode 011 of Milk Faced, we let you know what you need to buy and what you don’t. We talk through a list of ‘new baby essentials’ we found on the Mothercare website and discuss whether you really need them, […]

Peppa Pig endorses drink driving, according to one of our listeners. Big claim. In today’s show we discuss which kids TV characters are good role models for our offspring, following an e-mail from a reader whose core beliefs had been rocked by a recent episode of Peppa Pig. It’s generally just us talking about kids […]

The NHS tried to cut Robbie’s balls off. That’s the bulk of this week’s show. Good luck with that. Milk Faced regular Amy Overy sent us this link to someone talking about BA’s alternative car seat style basinet substitute. We spoke about this blog post by Mohamed El-Erian about giving up his role as CEO of […]

“Daddy, what makes people die?” Today we discuss awkward questions from children, the pain difference between being kicked in the balls and childbirth, and more chat about how much alcohol you can drink and still breastfeed. We discuss a video about what’s more painful, being kicked in the balls or childbirth. After an awkward question from […]

Today on Milk Faced we chatted about all things alcohol, mostly due to Robbie being hungover. We also had a bumper postbag, including some travelling with kids tips. If you’re interested in taking a pushchair on a plane, Milk Faced reader Amy Overy suggested the BABYZEN YOYO. She also suggested drugging your kid with Calpol […]

This week’s episode is all about names. Firstly, a reader e-mailed in to ask for advice on what name parent should use for their children’s private parts. The main ‘feature’ however was a discussion about baby names following a viewer e-mail about the worst name they’ve ever heard. If you live in England or Wales […]

Vasectomies aren’t just having your testicles cut off. Who knew? In this episode Adam Sturdy, a man who has just been neutered, to tell us all about the procedure. Adam also accuses Princess Diana of being involved in selling photos of children to Eastern European ad agencies, but we’ll gloss over that. We had a […]

In episode 004 of Milk Faced we chat home births, and tell the story of Robbie’s accidental career as a midwife. We also answer a listener’s question about Sally’s post-birth bottle of wine. For those of you with money to burn who want a taste of Sally’s high life you can get your own bottle […]