No One's Listening

Today we dive deep into the world of subscriptions. Where they started and how they became such a big part of our daily lives. From the ubiquitous "Amazon Prime" subscription to the incredibly specific subscriptions like "Box of Goth", we talk about how many subscriptions might be too many and which ones we can't live without. Speaking of subscriptions, are you subscribed to this show? Cause you should. And it's free.

Today we talk AOL Instant Messenger (AIM), the messaging service that took the world by storm in the late 90's & early 2000's. Among the hard-hitting areas we cover include: screen names, the start of chat lingo and whether profile pages & away messages were the precursor to profile pages in the MySpace and then Facebook era. Buckle up for a fun one!

It's a hard world for retail these days. In this episode, we talk and reminisce about our experiences of the growing list of retail stores that have declared bankruptcy. We know it sounds like a depressing topic, but we did our best to make it fun.

Today we dedicate one of our longest episodes yet to snacks from our childhood. We talk about snacks from the 90's and which ones still hold a place in our heart. We also ask, what happened to Dunkaroo's?

What's in a name? Does it affect your outcome or what you decide to be? That is what we discuss.

Tune in as we talk about deepfakes and whether or not this is the final nail in the coffin for being able to trust anything. It's a light-hearted episode.

How do we know if the life we are living is real or just an elaborate simulation? That's what we are talking this week!

In further evidence that we are running out of things to talk about, today we are talking running! Specifically the Nike Run Club app. Side note, the episode went so off the rails that we had to edit the audio. That might be a first in NOL history.

Yet another week where we focus on the impact of the Coronavirus, this time on the world of sports. We ask questions like "how is anybody interested in this?" and "when did we get so old?". We also talk about our memories for our video game golden years and how Tyler was the worst person to play against.

Today we talk about the show you've never heard of...wait, no, it's the only thing people are talking about other than Coronavirus, but we figured we would share our thoughts on it. Central to the episode is who is the show's biggest villain...answer, all of them.

As we continue to social distance we talk about all of our favorite parts working from home...specifically as everyone works from home.

We know what you're thinking...there is just not enough coverage of the Coronavirus. We have got your back. (Disclaimer, we make jokes in this not because we don't understand the severity of the situation, but because we think jokes can help us all get through it.)

Based on our last episode, we figured we would keep rolling on the Property Brothers topic. Most importantly, the forgotten brother, JD Scott who is truly a fascinating character.

You'll love this episode if you love poorly planned discussions around credit card rewards programs and the Property Brothers obsession. This is a "D-" episode at best, enjoy.

On this episode, we reminisce about a show we only barely remember. 25% of the episode is us battling getting the audio right.

In this episode we talk social media. The good...and mostly bad about the platforms that consume most of the waking time of today's youth and adults.

Today we talk about Amazon! The everything store. The store run by bald man himself, Jeff Bezos. We talk about all the things we love about Amazon. And how you can't trust a single review.

We're back! And it only took us 3 years. What are your thoughts on rewards offered when people's pets go missing? Would you accept the award if it wasn't hard to even find the pet? And what's the deal with ransoms? Does anyone ever get away with it? We even brought some history of the biggest ransoms ever.

How well do you think you know your neighbors? Are you suspicious that one might be a serial killer, or that another is making regular burnt offerings to some strange deity? Perhaps you just steer clear of your neighbors altogether because of their love of cats, or because you can’t get over that time they backed into a car parked on your property and then called you an asshole for it. If you love pondering what in holy hell your neighbors are up to, this is the episode for you. This edition also includes a claim by Rodney that he is close with his neighbors, even though it’s clear none of them consider him to be part of the community. You’re in for a treat.

Fears: we’ve all got ‘em. Some are scared of spiders, others of ghouls and otherworldly beings. No matter what, there is something that your friends can use to scare the bejesus out of you. But here at NOL, we are interested in exploring the deeper questions on the topic of fear. For instance, what is the evolution of fear in humans? Can any fear be truly and utterly irrational? And what types of people sign up to work for or participate in something like McKamey Manor, the world’s most extreme haunted house? Listen to this intriguing episode and leave us a message - unless you’re too scared (you big baby).

Mmmmm donuts. It’s not just Homer Simpson who loves those doughy, sugary O’s - it’s just about fuckin’ everyone. And if you don’t, you’re a monster. In this episode, we cover all the age-old donut-related questions. What is the best donut? Is there such a thing as a bad donut? How good are Krispy Kreme donuts, really? And why do so many people (including Rodney) trash Dunkin Donuts? Strap in, folks - this is a long one (that’s what she said).

Snow. You can put it in a cone and eat it, roll it in a ball and throw it at your brother, or lay in it and make supernal beings with your arms and legs. It looks pretty when it’s falling from the sky, but it is a danger to drivers and ambulatory grandmas everywhere. Kids go bananas for it, adults declare armageddon when large quantities of it fall, and Christmas is cancelled when there’s none of it. Why does the white and fluffy stuff have such a profound impact on our lives? What is the proper response to a forecasted snowstorm? And how stupid do you have to be to throw snowballs from inside a moving vehicle at cars coming the other way? We answer these questions and more on this week’s edition of NOL.

In today's episode we risk it all to talk about the Illuminati, a purported secret society that controls the world on puppet strings. We talk about whether we actually believe there is a society that exists and how believable with think it even could be for them to control the world. We also try and wrap our heads around the connection to satanism and celebrities...it's an episode we are sure you will agree is severely lacking in any research or substance. We apologize to listeners in advance.

His is a story of an unexpected and fascinating rise to the top. A small-town boy from the western coast of this great nation, he travelled east to a frozen wasteland called Michigan to become a man. But it was not until he reached the land in which our ancestors first settled that he was anointed by the gods as heir to the Pigskin Kingdom. Sixteen years later, an historic career having been achieved, he has taken his rightful place upon the throne. His name strikes fear into his enemies and puts words of petty complaint into the mouths of those too prideful to accept his superiority. To know him is to know greatness. This man is Tom Brady. We don’t want to offend anyone, but if your hero isn’t Tom Brady, then your hero is dumb and so are you. In this episode, we will talk about why.

Have you ever done something insanely unforgettable on New Year’s Eve? Neither have we. Do you make New Year’s resolutions that you never follow through on? Same here. Do you think New Year’s Eve is even that big of a deal? Now that’s a question for the ages. In this episode, we discuss our yearly calendar-change rituals, the best beverages to enjoy on the eve of fresh starts, and the pros and cons of standing in freezing Time Square for ten hours to watch a freaking ball drop (and get to see Mariah Carey have a public breakdown, if you’re lucky). Or we might just complain about how old we’re getting. Happy New Year!

There is a quote that says "Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine." In this episode, however, poor planning on Rodney's part does necessitate an emergency on account of show. ​Initially this episode was supposed to be about Christmas...or spanking...until Rodney realized he had just had a birthday and wanted to ask the question of whether or not people are taking birthdays more seriously than they should. Don't forget to vote on our Bargument: www.nolpodcast.com

Don't you love it when Rodney waits weeks to post an episode so you can relive Thanksgiving just days before Christmas? Well, you're welcome. Join us as we talk about our favorite foods and traditions on Thanksgiving.

This week we publish an episode where we talk about all the benefits and perils of Airbnb. It was an episode we recorded all at the same location...but there was a TV on in the background with the NFL on it, so we stayed less on track than usual. Vote on our "Bargument" here: www.nolpodcast.com

It's a listicle episode! Today we talked about Rolling Stone's "The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time" list. This list was compiled by the Rolling Stone Staff along with 52 writers, producers and critics who cast their ballots for their favorite shows. In this episode, we start by debating whether live or reality TV shows even deserve to be on the list. We then quickly transition to talking about the shows we think were too low, too high and ones that should have made the list: Too high – Friday Night Lights #24, Veep #25, Portlandia #97 Too low – House of Cards #83, The Office (US) #48, Friends #26 Missing (but shouldn't be) – Dexter, Rome, Family Guy We hope you jump in with your opinions at nolpodcast.com – we've posted the full list below for you to make your own judgments: 1. Sopranos 2. The Wire 3. Breaking Bad 4. Mad Men 5. Seinfeld 6. Simpsons 7. Twilight Zone 8. SNL 9. All in the Family 10. The Daily Show 11. Freaks & Geeks 12. Game of Thrones 13. Late Night with David Letterman 14. The Larry Sanders Show 15. The West Wing 16. MASH 17. Twin Peaks 18. Star Trek 19. Curb Your Enthusiasm 20. Cheers 21. The Office (UK) 22. Louie 23. Deadwood 24. Friday Night Lights 25. Veep 26. Friends 27. Arrested Development 28. The X-Files 29. Monty Python's Flying Circus 30. Tonight Show with Johnny Carson 31. Sesame Street 32. I Love Lucy 33. South Park 34. 30 Rock 35. My So-Called Life 36. Law & Order 37. Orange is the New Black 38. Buffy the Vampire Slayer 39. Lost 40. The Shield 41. The Honeymooners 42. NYPD Blue 43. The Americans 44. Columbo 45. Battlestar Galactica 46. The Mary Tyler Moore Show 47. The Rockford Files 48. The Office (US) 49. Taxi 50. ER 51. Fargo 52. The Colbert Report 53. The Bob Newhart Show 54. The Muppet Show 55. Six Feet Under 56. 24 57. Fawlty Towers 58. Roots 59. Hill Street Blues 60. Beavis & Butt-head 61. Your Show of Shows 62. Sex & the City 63. The Wonder Years 64. Chappelle's Show 65. Happy Days 66. Downton Abbey 67. The Odd Couple 68. The State 69. The Ed Sullivan Show 70. Roseanne 71. Mr. Show 72. Girls 73. Transparent 74. The Ren & Stimpy Show 75. The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story 76. Late Night with Conan O'Brien 77. The Walking Dead 78. Thirtysomething 79. In Living Color 80. The Fugitive 81. Dallas 82. The Jeffersons 83. House of Cards 84. Real Time with Bill Maher 85. The Real World 86. Good Times 87. Doctor Who 88. Party Down 89. Homeland 90. The Dick Van Dyke Show 91. Broad City 92. American Idol 93. Mystery Science Theater 3000 94. Jeopardy! 95. Key & Peele 96. Gunsmoke 97. Portlandia 98. The Golden Girls 99. Oz 100. Eastbound and Down

In this spoooky episode, we talk all things Halloween. Beginning with the "Bargument" about how old is too old to go Trick or Treating? Don't forget to vote, we know you really want to: nolpodcast.com. We then quickly transition to talking about all of the things that make Halloween great. Or awful. Scaring people (and how Tyler likes to scare children), costumes (and why are women's costumes always provocative?), how morbid is too morbid for Halloween decorations, and, finally, why did everyone dress as "Stranger Things" characters this year?

In this episode, we tackle the iPhone apps we love, hate and couldn't do without. We talk about the ways that the world has changed, how we basically have no idea where anything is without a GPS, and what apps we would rather die than live without. And we talk about why Shazam was a way better movie than it is a mobile app. Teddy was absent from this episode as he is taking a class to "further his education" & "make him better at his job" ...lame excuses. Send us the reasons you think it's lame his missed the episode too. For all the key links to talk to us: www.nolpodcast.com

In this episode, we discuss the Olympics. From Phelps beating Leonidas of Rhodes' record to whether equestrian should even be an Olympic sport, we very rarely stay on track. I know, you're surprised. We even briefly discuss Ryan Lochte and whether he is ridiculously stupid or dangerously stupid. Also, don't forget to weigh in on our Bargument: nolpodcast.com We would also love to hear from you. Desperately. Let us know what you would like to hear more of...or less of.

Back from vacation and we take on the topic of camping - you know, the thing you burn a couple of vacation days a year on to wind up sleeping on the ground and covered in a rash (yes, we just paraphrased Jim Gaffigan). In this episode we talk about our recent experience camping along with many tales of camping trips from our collective childhood. If you're reading this description in lieu of listening to the episode (first, what's wrong with you), our summary of camping largely boils down to it being an accepted suffering, just painless enough to subject ourselves to it again. In true NOL form, we also get off on many tangents. Enjoy and don't forget to weigh in on this week's Bargument along: www.nolpodcast.com

Sorry for the long delay in posting, we were on vacation! This episode was one we recorded before we left, but we should be returning to our regular schedule next week. In today's episode we talk about all the best parts about childhood and whether it's possible that our best days are already behind us. It's an episode full of personal stories. The good news (or maybe unfortunate news) about doing a podcast with your best friends is that many of our stories involve each other. BONUS: the last four minutes of this episode are all recording bloopers. For having to wait, you are rewarded with 4 minutes of unlistenable audio, you're welcome.

This week we tackle the topic of Fast Food with special guest Mike Cordry, professional comedian and self-proclaimed fast food aficionado. We discuss how and why the perspective of fast food has changed over the course of the past 10 years, along with talking about our favorite and most embarrassing fast food orders. Throughout the episode Mike ( check him out at www.mikecordry.com ) also chimes in with stories from doing comedy across the country and reflects back on old NOL episodes. We also read emails from Kevin & Bob, more real listeners. People are actually listening, we are still surprised. Finally, don't forget to vote on this week's bargument: www.nolpodcast.com

Amazingly we received emails from REAL people about the show, so we start by reading those and hope others follow their lead. We don't mean to brag, but we can almost guarantee that 10 people will hear your email if you send us something. We then jump into our second "Bargument" -- would you rather have unquenchably smelly armpits or a lazy eye. Cast your vote: nolpodcast.com And of course finally we talk about Fantasy Sports. How much skill does it actually require? How do we feel about daily fantasy sports? Are fantasy sports ruining the actual play on the field? And finally, how big of a nerd do you have to be to actually play fantasy baseball? Unfortunately for you we actually had a lot to talk about, so this is a long one!

In the words of Ryan Gosling's character in Crazy, Stupid, Love. "Any man can rebuild his entire wardrobe with sixteen simple items." This episode we try and breakdown how we should be dressing as late twenty-something year old men. What are the fashion rules around shorts, shirts and shoes. What are we wearing that we probably shouldn't be wearing? What aren't we wearing that we should be wearing. Do we fear embarrassment for how public we made this conversation? Yes, a good deal. So enjoy. Also, visit nolpodcast.com to share your thoughts on this week's Bargument.

Dating apps - do we know anything about them? Not really. But why let that stop us when it never has before? This episode might be particularly annoying if you know anything about dating apps, because our lack of knowledge around event the most basic elements is pretty clear. But we had fun. If you aren't really in to dating apps, that's fine, we spend the first 30 minutes talking about everything from camping to flesh eating bacteria. Dating apps – do we know anything about them? Not really. But why let that stop us when it never has before? This episode might be particularly annoying if you know anything about dating apps, because our lack of knowledge around event the most basic elements is pretty clear. But we had fun. If you aren't really in to dating apps, that's fine, we spend the first 30 minutes talking about everything from camping to flesh eating bacteria. If you had to pick, email us or let us know your vote @nolpodcastguys on Twitter about which you would choose: Tinder, Bumble or Happen? www.nolpodcast.com

In this episode we dissect small talk – like what is and isn't okay material for small talk. Is small talk a barrier preventing people from engaging conversation about meaningful topics? Or is it a necessary evil that serves as a gateway to deeper conversations. We also find ourselves on a seemingly unconnected tangent about whether compliments serve any role in small talk and if there are any situations where compliments should be off limits. www.nolpodcast.com

This week we tackle the topic of Facebook and whether it does more harm than good. Is it an amazing way to stay connected and share information? Or is it just a place where people can publicly be their worst selves? And on a lighter note – how soon is too soon to send a friend request? Before we get there though, we experiment with a new segment, "Who Said It?" We play a game where Teddy asks Tyler & Rodney whether a quote was made by Donald Trump or Michael Scott? It was fun...but probably a little easier than Teddy anticipated. www.nolpodcast.com

In this episode we talk all about Escape Games, how they came about, how they work, popular themes, common styles of puzzels and the joys of trying to solve these in a room full of strangers. Despite trying our best to stay on track, Tyler immediately derails us with a psycho-road-rage-serial-killer story, but at least this story is better than Rodney's phone woes from last week. Let us know if we missed anything at NOLpodcast.com or @nolpodcastguys on Twitter...or, less likely, let us know you loved it! www.nolpodcast.com

Crossfit. We break down the very basics of what it is about and mostly talk about the reactions of those we polled about Crossfit. A classic hot or cold topic. When asked the first word that comes to mind when they hear Crossfit, if someone didn't respond "life" or "muscles" they responded with "cult" or "douchebag". We also experimented with a new segment this week. And three segments we didn't get to. But, we're trying. www.nolpodcast.com

Church League Softball: an amalgam of sports, faith, clinging on to high school dreams, and passive aggressive prayers around home plate. The place where the worst sportsmanship in the world takes place, but everyone pretends at the end they were glorious examples of grace and humility. www.nolpodcast.com

In our second episode we introduce a new host - Teddy. Also, we talk about bike lanes and whether people on bikes are more like pedestrians or road traffic. If you're not careful, the comedy in this episode just might run you over. Hey-o. ...like a bike in a bike lane getting hit by a car...never-mind. Forget I said anything. www.nolpodcast.com

A brand spankin' new podcast. Just what your life needed. In the inaugural episode we talk about Bitmoji's. Are they the greatest innovation text messaging has ever seen? Or...are they something your friends hate you for sending? www.nolpodcast.com