Survivor's Guide with Nazeem Hussain

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Comedian Nazeem Hussain writes the definitive survivor's guide to absolutely everything, harnessing the knowledge of a series of collaborators even less qualified than him. With the help of producers Amy Ruffle and James Milsom, Naz brings you the know-how you'll need to conquer the challenges that everyone faces, and even to tackle the things that happen to no one. Ever. More via tricksy.co

Tricksy and Nazeem Hussain


    • Jul 25, 2021 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 19m AVG DURATION
    • 115 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Survivor's Guide with Nazeem Hussain

    UPDATE: Naz does the Numbers

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2021 31:35


    We're in Victorian lockdown once again, so the ol' team gets together for a little catch up, in which Naz tries to work out the maths of things, and no one helps him, because it's more fun when we don't help him. Also we have no comprehension of what he is trying to say.

    UPDATE: Naz does the Numbers

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2021 29:51


    We're in Victorian lockdown once again, so the ol' team gets together for a little catch up, in which Naz tries to work out the maths of things, and no one helps him, because it's more fun when we don't help him. Also we have no comprehension of what he is trying to say.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Finale (pending the Comeback!)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2021 33:39


    Naz, Amy and James say goodbye after an insane amount of episodes in 2020. And it's goodbye forever, but only until the masses demand a come back, which will be welcomed. But for seriously: we have too much to do in the first bit of 2021 to keep doing this pod properly, so we're taking a break and we'll come back to you when the time is right. Thank you for supporting this project. We have loved every flamin' minute.

    The Finale (pending the Comeback!)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2021 31:55


    Naz, Amy and James say goodbye after an insane amount of episodes in 2020. And it's goodbye forever, but only until the masses demand a come back, which will be welcomed. But for seriously: we have too much to do in the first bit of 2021 to keep doing this pod properly, so we're taking a break and we'll come back to you when the time is right.Thank you for supporting this project. We have loved every flamin' minute.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Family Guide to Christmas Parties

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2020 28:48


    Naz tries to organise a Christmas party for the pod. And he's bad at it. Or he's not even trying.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Family Guide to Christmas Parties

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2020 30:32


    Naz tries to organise a Christmas party for the pod. And he's bad at it. Or he's not even trying.

    Family Guide to Freak Checks

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2020 21:23


    Naz turns up early to something and gets a much needed freak check.

    Family Guide to Freak Checks

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2020 19:38


    Naz turns up early to something and gets a much needed freak check.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Wil Anderson's Guide to International Drug Smuggling

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2020 34:42


    Wil gives Naz a unique strategy to help him to smuggle drugs, in case it ever comes to that. Naz effectively confesses to something fairly heinous and tries to implicate James and Amy in his criminal conspiracy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Wil Anderson's Guide to International Drug Smuggling

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2020 36:26


    Wil gives Naz a unique strategy to help him to smuggle drugs, in case it ever comes to that. Naz effectively confesses to something fairly heinous and tries to implicate James and Amy in his criminal conspiracy.

    Merrick Watts' Guide to Getting Punched

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2020 20:34


    Merrick takes a break from his hectic schedule of jumping out of helicopters and being a punching bag for stronger men to give us some tips on how he does it all. Naz seems confused again, pitching what is surely a product of his twisted mind and not an actual Japanese reality show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Merrick Watts' Guide to Getting Punched

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2020 22:19


    Merrick takes a break from his hectic schedule of jumping out of helicopters and being a punching bag for stronger men to give us some tips on how he does it all. Naz seems confused again, pitching what is surely a product of his twisted mind and not an actual Japanese reality show.

    Chas Licciardello's Guide to the US election aftermath

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2020 25:31


    Chas gives us heaps of his own back story, detailing the fact that his education has largely been Diff'rent Strokes and TV game shows. Oh and he tells us what up with the US elections, capping off our Survivor's Guide to the USA mini-series. Naz reveals he only just saw Titanic, and was disappointed there was no Abba in the soundtrack.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Chas Licciardello's Guide to the US election aftermath

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2020 27:16


    Chas gives us heaps of his own back story, detailing the fact that his education has largely been Diff'rent Strokes and TV game shows. Oh and he tells us what up with the US elections, capping off our Survivor's Guide to the USA mini-series. Naz reveals he only just saw Titanic, and was disappointed there was no Abba in the soundtrack.

    Adam Pally's Guide to the USA: Pandemic Drinking

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2020 20:21


    Adam Pally tells us which drinks work best in the context of being mid-pando in New York (though he gives us lots of good stuff before he gets to that). Naz has never heard of Goop.

    Mike Mitchell's Guide to the USA: The Fast Food of Comedy

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2020 24:10


    Mitch reveals who the fast food of comedy is. Naz didn't even eat fast food until he was an adult, and it's not clear what we're meant to do with that information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Mike Mitchell's Guide to the USA: The Fast Food of Comedy

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2020 25:55


    Mitch reveals who the fast food of comedy is. Naz didn't even eat fast food until he was an adult, and it's not clear what we're meant to do with that information.

    Jon Gabrus' Guide to the USA: Bachelor Parties

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2020 22:04


    Jon Gabrus gives us the low down on American bachelor parties, and what it's like to have one by yourself. Naz reveals the real reason he wants to go the USA.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Jon Gabrus' Guide to the USA: Bachelor Parties

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2020 23:49


    Jon Gabrus gives us the low down on American bachelor parties, and what it's like to have one by yourself. Naz reveals the real reason he wants to go the USA.

    Charlie Pickering's Guide to the US Presidential Election

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2020 21:54


    Charlie Pickering gives us the hard data on the US Presidential Election, and things aren't sounding great for the Trumpster (if you're reading this from a future in which he wins again in 2020, you should know that there was a time when lots of people genuinely believed he wouldn't). Naz reveals that he has friendship strategies, tailored differently for different people. It's weird but delightful.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Charlie Pickering's Guide to the US Presidential Election

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2020 23:39


    Charlie Pickering gives us the hard data on the US Presidential Election, and things aren't sounding great for the Trumpster (if you're reading this from a future in which he wins again in 2020, you should know that there was a time when lots of people genuinely believed he wouldn't). Naz reveals that he has friendship strategies, tailored differently for different people. It's weird but delightful.

    Dr Nikki Goldstein's Guide to Not Hugging

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2020 25:48


    Dr Nikki Goldstein answers Survivor Elspeth's question about how not to hug when everyone goes hug mad in the post covid world. Naz has a thought!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dr Nikki Goldstein's Guide to Not Hugging

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2020 27:32


    Dr Nikki Goldstein answers Survivor Elspeth's question about how not to hug when everyone goes hug mad in the post covid world. Naz has a thought!

    The Family's Guide to House Hunting

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2020 24:14


    Your favourite family gives Ruffle the hottest tips on finding an apartment. Naz does some pretty excellent tricks.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Family's Guide to House Hunting

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2020 25:59


    Your favourite family gives Ruffle the hottest tips on finding an apartment. Naz does some pretty excellent tricks.

    Angie Kent's Guide to Sweatiness

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2020 17:22


    Angie Kent shares some Daily Mail level hot goss on the Bachelorette, and she tells us all about how to survive the heavy sweats. Naz sincerely believes there was a sub-plot of 8 Mile that they edited out that related to flower pressing. You're welcome.Links:https://my.polishedman.com/nazeem-hussainhttps://waterwalk.unicef.org.au/t/nazeem-hussains-teamSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Angie Kent's Guide to Sweatiness

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2020 19:07


    Angie Kent shares some Daily Mail level hot goss on the Bachelorette, and she tells us all about how to survive the heavy sweats. Naz sincerely believes there was a sub-plot of 8 Mile that they edited out that related to flower pressing. You're welcome. Links: https://my.polishedman.com/nazeem-hussain https://waterwalk.unicef.org.au/t/nazeem-hussains-team

    Veronica Milsom's Guide to Plasausage Rolls

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2020 20:08


    Veronica gives us a preview of some of the frankly pretty confronting but hilarious content that will make up her new podcast, Zero Waste Baby. Naz reveals that his friends beat him up, and there's no one who will do anything about it, because at times like these you fall back on your friends, but he can't because his friends beat him up.Zero Waste Baby is out on Wednesday 30th September. Subscribe now (if you want to - it's honestly up to you).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Veronica Milsom's Guide to Plasausage Rolls

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2020 21:53


    Veronica gives us a preview of some of the frankly pretty confronting but hilarious content that will make up her new podcast, Zero Waste Baby. Naz reveals that his friends beat him up, and there's no one who will do anything about it, because at times like these you fall back on your friends, but he can't because his friends beat him up. Zero Waste Baby is out on Wednesday 30th September. Subscribe now (if you want to - it's honestly up to you).

    Waleed Aly's Guide to Colour Coded Libraries

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2020 23:43


    Waleed Aly, Gold Logie winner and actual guy from the TV, drops in to tell all in this exclusive interview, almost entirely told as if it were a women's magazine article.* Naz reveals his interest in some existing COVID-19 conspiracy theories, and invents a couple of his own.*If there's a thing to call women's magazines that is more woke and appropriate, please get in touch via backlash@survivors.guide (think that's not a real email address? Try it. You'll see.)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Waleed Aly's Guide to Colour Coded Libraries

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2020 25:27


    Waleed Aly, Gold Logie winner and actual guy from the TV, drops in to tell all in this exclusive interview, almost entirely told as if it were a women's magazine article.* Naz reveals his interest in some existing COVID-19 conspiracy theories, and invents a couple of his own. *If there's a thing to call women's magazines that is more woke and appropriate, please get in touch via backlash@survivors.guide (think that's not a real email address? Try it. You'll see.)

    Ryan Shelton's Guide to Passata

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2020 24:30


    Ryan gives us the low down and the who's who and the qu'est que c'est on all things pasta. Naz becomes aware of the existence of his own feet - you know, kind of like a five week old baby.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Ryan Shelton's Guide to Passata

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2020 26:15


    Ryan gives us the low down and the who's who and the qu'est que c'est on all things pasta. Naz becomes aware of the existence of his own feet - you know, kind of like a five week old baby.

    Shane Jacobson's Guide to Trolls in the Real World

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2020 31:04


    Shane Jacobson swings by to tell us about his experience with trolls and big bearded regional folk. Naz hatches a plan for how he can tackle his next hater. -- If you've been harassed online (or anywhere), or you know someone who has, engage with R U OK day, on Thursday the week this episode drops.

    Shane Jacobson's Guide to Trolls in the Real World

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2020 29:19


    Shane Jacobson swings by to tell us about his experience with trolls and big bearded regional folk. Naz hatches a plan for how he can tackle his next hater.--If you've been harassed online (or anywhere), or you know someone who has, engage with R U OK day, on Thursday the week this episode drops.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Melissa Leong's Guide to Fridge Organisation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2020 21:42


    Melissa tells Naz where to keep his mustard, which is spicier than you think (as a topic, not to mention as a yellowish brown condiment).

    Melissa Leong's Guide to Fridge Organisation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2020 20:58


    Melissa tells Naz where to keep his mustard, which is spicier than you think (as a topic, not to mention as a yellowish brown condiment).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Susie Youssef's Guide to Feeding People

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2020 21:39


    Susie tells us how and why to feed people (mostly it's so they stop talking). Naz invites us into his strange world of ghosts and mythical creatures (ie his brain).

    Susie Youssef's Guide to Feeding People

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2020 20:54


    Susie tells us how and why to feed people (mostly it's so they stop talking). Naz invites us into his strange world of ghosts and mythical creatures (ie his brain).See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Ash London's Guide to Dog Instagramming

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2020 20:53


    Ash London gives us her guide to surviving being an Instagram dog owner (made challenging by how uninterested the dog is). Naz tries to convince everyone that Charlie slept in the bed with his two sets of grandparents the whole time, even though everyone knows that would be way too weird and even the Bucket family wouldn’t go fivesies.

    Ash London's Guide to Dog Instagramming

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2020 19:09


    Ash London gives us her guide to surviving being an Instagram dog owner (made challenging by how uninterested the dog is).Naz tries to convince everyone that Charlie slept in the bed with his two sets of grandparents the whole time, even though everyone knows that would be way too weird and even the Bucket family wouldn't go fivesies.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Amy Ruffle's Guide to Life Behind a Mask

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2020 19:39


    Actor and producer Amy Ruffle drops in to give us the guide to smiling with less than half your face, and the completely wrong half at that. Naz can't watch a whole movie, or refuses to, and sees this as a boastworthy attribute.

    Amy Ruffle's Guide to Life Behind a Mask

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2020 17:54


    Actor and producer Amy Ruffle drops in to give us the guide to smiling with less than half your face, and the completely wrong half at that. Naz can't watch a whole movie, or refuses to, and sees this as a boastworthy attribute.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dave Thornton and the Fancy Organic Sultana Children

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2020 18:39


    Dave invites us into his home, if only remotely and so that he can disrespect us by feeding his children on our time. Naz tells the intriguing story of military condom hijinx in his teenage years. And by intriguing I mean weird and disturbing but out there now so let's just help him through this.

    Dave Thornton and the Fancy Organic Sultana Children

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2020 16:55


    Dave invites us into his home, if only remotely and so that he can disrespect us by feeding his children on our time. Naz tells the intriguing story of military condom hijinx in his teenage years. And by intriguing I mean weird and disturbing but out there now so let's just help him through this.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Nina Oyama and the Cockroach Holocaust

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2020 22:54


    Nina seeks lonely children to join her in her cult of cockroach death rituals. Naz introduces the Survivor's Guide Code of Conduct, and probably breaches it immediately. Also it was a secret Code, so what the hell man.

    Nina Oyama and the Cockroach Holocaust

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2020 21:09


    Nina seeks lonely children to join her in her cult of cockroach death rituals. Naz introduces the Survivor's Guide Code of Conduct, and probably breaches it immediately. Also it was a secret Code, so what the hell man.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Tegan Martin and the High Vibe Street Babies

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2020 33:57


    Tegan talks about life after Miss Universe, and surviving anxiety. Naz overcomes short term memory deficiency to remember a short list of things.

    Tegan Martin and the High Vibe Street Babies

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2020 32:13


    Tegan talks about life after Miss Universe, and surviving anxiety. Naz overcomes short term memory deficiency to remember a short list of things.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dane Simpson and the Fact That All of Life is a Bingo Wheel

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2020 18:41


    Dane gives us the inside scoop on Servo Bingo. Naz makes one of the insightful comments of his life, and it was scripted for him by James.

    Dane Simpson and the Fact That All of Life is a Bingo Wheel

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2020 16:56


    Dane gives us the inside scoop on Servo Bingo. Naz makes one of the insightful comments of his life, and it was scripted for him by James.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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