Tall Dwarf Tavern

After a long journey and a nervous night, the party digs in for a good nights rest, but the Glasspool has other things in mind for our heroes, as each one is subjected to a grueling nightmare. Are these just tricks placed upon their psyche from the magic of the Ior Ruin, or are they perhaps portents of the future? No one stops to puzzle this conundrum out however, as adventure awaits! Literally diving head first, the boys take their first steps among the ruined columns and toppled towers. What awaits them in the depths of the Glasspool?

A breather, a respite, a well earned rest awaits our adventurers as the events of the Bulwark are finally behind them. There's no rest for the protagonists however, and Kaim is anxious to usher the party to their next mission at the Ior Ruin of the Glasspool. After checking off all their items on their adventure shopping list and leaving a mess in the garden aisle of the Fantasy Earthbound, the party journeys to the Glasspool. The journey is anything but boring however, and the many unexpected events may make this expedition more... difficult than anticipated.

The secrets of the Eldrazi Temple now lost to them, the party rushes out from the crumbling frying pan and into the big, ugly, fire as a massive Eldrazi appears to clear a path through the Sea Gate militia and the Kor warriors. After a heated fight the boys journey back to Sea Gate to see if there might be somewhere else they can loot that might contain the answers they need. However, are they prepared to face what lies there?

With public relations somewhat restored, Melody agrees to allow the party to enter the Eldrazi Temple. What awaits within is something no one is prepared for however, and the ancient secrets of the Kor as well as Vali’s abilities begin to unravel. Can the group uncover the temple’s secrets before it’s too late?

A reunion is at hand that not even a flying horse can stop, and after a few days of being separated after their encounter at the butte, the band is finally back together. Tensions run high however and not everyone is happy to see each other. Of course, like the well-reasoned, emotionally developed adults they are, the party chooses to take out their animosity on Vali’s family rather than talk about their feelings, and negotiations quickly go South between the Kor and our adventurers. If this keeps up, they may never get into the Eldrazi Temple and find the secrets it holds…

Difficult choices await the adventuring crew. After snatching victory from the jaws of defeat in their fight with the flying Eldrazi, both groups split up from each other, Mordir and Skeeve deciding to follow Vali into the Bulwark to find his family, and Kaim and Caspar heading back to Sea Gate to find a rescue group. But after Mordir sacrificed himself to let Vali and Skeeve escape and Caspar and Kaim are debating whether or not to head for the Tumbled Palace and leave Sea Gate behind forever, it’s a night full of regret and difficult decisions.

The party has prepared their bit and bridle and set off after Vali in a high stakes rescue mission. Knowing that dangerous new kinds of Eldrazi lurk in the Bulwark, the boys are desperate to get to Vali before it’s too late. But there wouldn’t be “battle” in the title if that worked out, now would there? Does the party make it out in one piece?

Having safely returned to Sea Gate after their harrowing boat ride from the Tikal Harborage, the party takes a moment to get their affairs in order and assess what they’ve missed while away from the bustling city. They learn that all of Zendikar is quickly becoming aware of the problem posed by the Eldrazi, and Vali realizes that his family may be one of those at risk. After saying his goodbyes he quickly hits the ol’ dusty trailer, but it’s not long after he leaves that the rest of the boys find out he may be in serious danger…

After a triumphant defense of the Tikal Harborage, our brave adventurers set sail with their Captain of the hour, Sir Sails-a-lot, to spread the word of the Eldrazi attacks to Sea Gate. Buried in their own thoughts of the last few days, the crew is too late to avoid the massive Roil storm that assaults the ship! Will their quick thinking and team work save the day, or will they they be lost to Ula’s realm?

Having successfully talked with Thada Adel, the party copes with the fact that the creatures they fought within the Bulwark are the same as those that destroyed the ancient civilizations of old Zendikar, and they seem to be trying their best to do it again. Kaim is determined to warn the world of the threat of the Eldrazi, but the rest of the boys have their own issues going on, especially Mordir, who has inadvertently discovered a connection between himself and these weird monsters. Will they be able to leave the Tikal Harborage before this particular tentacled problem comes back to bite them in the ass?

The encounter in the valley has left our group exhausted, confused, and demoralized. After getting their bearings, the path to the Tikal Harborage is an easy one considering what they’ve just been through and our boys take a minute to see what the town has to offer, gaining valuable information on the mysterious Thada Adel. After making an extremely bad first impression, Thada finally relents and shows them the information she was so desperate to tell Noyan Dar about. But this bombshell will turn everything they thought they knew about the past on its head.

After interreacting with the Cult of Cosi and finding Noyan Dar, an old merfolk scholar, the boys are tasked with retrieving important information from an old rival of Noyan Dar’s. No big deal, going places and fetching things is what they’ve been training for the whole season after all. But after a disturbing portent from Kaim, a strange unease settles on the group during their journey. Little do they know, something hiding in the mountains of the Bulwark might complicate their mission…

After the terrifying scene they witnessed over the Halimar, the party withdraws to compare notes, collect thoughts, and seek a path, any path, forward. While lost deep in postulation, an unnoticed resident of the Enclave offers their advice. But are they really just a stranger, conveniently placed? Or are the boys falling even deeper into a conspiracy theory that spans the entire history of Zendikar?

All the affairs are in order. Itineraries – checked. Baggage – packed. Souvenirs – obtained. With some final parting words, the party is finally ready to leave the mystical grove they spent so long trying to get into. Now they face a difficult decision for any adventuring group. Do they sell out? Or do they do the right thing?

Upon being knocked out by the Mul Dayan equivalent of the CIA, our intrepid adventurers awaken to find themselves in a magnificent grove more beautiful than anything they have ever seen, albeit harder to enjoy while tied up. Are they prisoners, or guests? It will depend on how well they make their case. Vali suffers the consequences of his actions, Mordir is judged on his character choices, and Kaim, Caspar, and Skeeve uncover secrets about the Soul of Zendikar, and those that were born to protect it.

After literally falling for the adventurer equivalent of a honey trap, the party quickly finds themselves in quite the mess when the hole Vali falls into happens to be inhabited by 5 tons of clawed and fanged fury in the form of a monstrous Baloth. With the Mul Dayan Vine Ghosts hot on their tail, will they manage to get Vali out in time? Or will one of these threats finally do them in?

Successfully get to Bala Ged? Check! Navigate the Bojuka Bay Swamps? Check! Avoid the Mul Dayan Vine Ghosts? Check! (for now) Disarm and safely make it through the various traps they set up? Oh…oh no…it’s all falling apart now… Do you enjoy listening to a gaggle of dollop heads ham-fisting through trap after deadly trap? Well this is the episode for you! Let’s just hope enough of them survive to make another one…

The starting of a new adventure finds our group of Three People +2 plotting a course for danger in the Guum Wilds. While they thought the hardest part would be getting through the Wilds itself, turns out planning an adventure all by yourself without an Expedition Leader is a complicated and difficult affair! But with the marshlands of the Bojuka Bay and the Mul Dayan assassins beyond, it’s never too late for it to get worse…

So while it turns out the boys were *mostly* innocent, they’re not off the hook yet and have been implicated in the stealing of Kai’m and Caspar’s missing hedron. The boys are good people though…mostly…and after a lot of misdirection and self-confusion manage to land on a plan that appears to help everyone. Will a convoluted business deal lead to everybody getting what they want, or will the entire plane suffer the consequences of capitalism gone south?

With the Nihil Stone subdued, retrieved, and returned to the Bala Ged Expeditionary House, our boys can cash in the vacation hours and spend some time on the town. Do you think memory loss is covered under workers comp? Skeeve relives his first Siesta and works with Gavin to repair his maul, Vali tries to get a rock off, and Mordir uses his one phone call home. But what’s this! Two mysterious strangers appear with dire accusations leveled at the party…

Deep down in the depths of Visimal the Hidden City, our brave adventurers finally lay eye’s upon the object of their expedition, the Nihil Stone. After plenty of scrutiny and head scratching, the boys manage to unleash the full power of the stone. But are they prepared to face what’s inside?

While navigating their way through the glittering Glint Pass, our party was set upon by a massive elemental known as a Vent Sentinel. Like any good action scene, it’s chaotic, full of drama, and just so so hot. After being forced to make a mad dash to get to their destination, Mordir finds that the hidden city of vampires is not at all what he was expecting…

This episode finds the party preparing for the supposedly hyper-dangerous Quest for the Nihil Stone, curated by the dark and enigmatic Bala Ged House. However the stone itself may not even be the most dangerous aspect of this mission, as the boys struggle with pride, broken promises, and lack of listening skills. Will they even make it on the boat out?

After losing their tour group in the Calcite Flats and coming up with increasingly ridiculous ways of getting home, our group finally finds the time to kick off their work boots and get the sand out of their socks. Mordir looks up the history of the Ruin Sage, Vali attempts to get blood from a stone, and Skeeve encounters some paranormal activity.

https://blacklivesmatter.com/Truly fitting their honorific now, the Three People escape the desert test of the Dojir and make their way through the Calcite Flats towards the Sunspring. Having no idea what awaits them however, who knows what our heroes will be forced to confront in order to access the healing waters…

It’s sad day in Sea Gate and abroad, for many reasons both within and beyond our characters control. The party leads their group of soon-to-be exiles out into the Calcite Flats, after crossing the t’s and taking care of the Miles of their agreed arrangements, and meet up with the Dojir Nomads as planned. However, the desert has a funny way of making plans go…salty….

The weekend is over and it’s time for our adventures to hit up the office again. This weeks job is the Sunspring Expedition, headed up by none other than our new friend Kendri of the Akoum Expeditionary House. While Vali and Mordir fill the magical hole in their lives, Davy and Skeeve attempt to convince a group of prisoners to elope with them into the desert, using a number of…um…creative techniques. Let’s not tell the fantasy IRS about this one.

After completing the Quest for Ula’s temple, the boys hang up their wet towels, dry out their boots, and get some well deserved rest. Skeeve meets up with an old friend and makes a new connection, Davy attempts to trade up his vehicle, Mordir takes a shopping trip and finds an unexpected rival, and Vali spends the weekend at home, until something sours his homecoming…

In this episode, our group runs into something so awful, so horrible, that even death would be a better option. They’re forced to solve…a puzzle! And if that weren’t enough, what they find behind Door #1 sheds a light on the dark history of Zendikar’s past, containing knowledge that revives an unknown rivalry between brothers. What other tricks and trials will our brave adventurers have to overcome to finally escape Ula’s Temple?

This episode has our group of waterlogged amateur archaeologists braving the treacherous depths of Ula’s Temple. This venture is anything but simple however, and our heroes face trial after hardship as they make their way through the gauntlet of the Sea God.

Our impetuous gang gatherers their flippers, their floaties, and their finances as they set a course for the mysterious Ula’s Temple. Things seem to be going swimmingly, until they run into one water hazard after another, and a made dash ensues through the rapids of the Sunder Bay. Will they weather the storm, or be left high and dry? (…or low and wet.)

Our party takes on a new quest and a new locale, journeying to the island continent of Murasa on the Quest for Ula’s Temple. They are greeted warmly by the Tajuru elven nation, even after a social faux pas, and take in the city life of the Tumbled Palace. After splitting up, Skeeve, Vali, and Davy discover the Sunder Bay is just as dangerous as advertised and Mordir is called to a private audience with the leader of the Tajru nation, Speaker Sutina.

After the disappointing, but arguably successful, completion of the Quest for Pure Flame and accrual of their first quest completion bonus, our boys take a much deserved bout of R&R. Skeeve tests the depths and fishes out a prize, Vali gets a library card and uncovers more about the Fantasy Free Masons, Davy Jones gets a present most fowl, and Mordir becomes an accessory to murder. Yes folks our adventurers do it all!

The party is reunited again as Mordir falls from the chandelier! Will it be enough to overcome Skoalbad, the Kargan Bandit Lord, however? The boys face their first boss fight in the fiery chamber of the Pure Flame. Their allies are prepared and their weapons ready, but once it’s all said and done will a missed connection come back to bite them in the butt? And the head? And…everywhere else…?

With Mordir cast into a pit of magma by Skoalbad, the rest of our group is unsure of the path forward. Do they try and escape? Do they fight? Reduced to 3 people, alliances must be made and new friends found if the boys hope to get out of this predicament!

After their near-fatal naval adventure, are heroes put up a brave fight against the Kargan barbarians, filled with savage attacks and brilliant displays of spellmanship. Wait, oh no…friendly fire was on this whole time? Shoot…oh well. After their fight and a brief stint in a barbarian waiting room, they come face to face with their foe’s chief, the great Skoalbad, and our given a healthy but seemingly lethal dose of humility.

The lads make a fiery egress from the ruined tower and are christened as full fledged adventures. After figuring out accommodations at a familiar (but not too familiar) tavern, they take on their first solo mission; the Quest for Pure Flame. Along the way they put on a production of Fantasy Titanic and appear to have used up all their luck in Episode 2! Sad!

Our intrepid explorers set off with their Pelakka Foundation guides Jori En and Mzali, in search of ancient secrets hidden in the Oran Rief coral highlands. On the journey over they encounter forgotten friends, fill gaping holes, and used up at least a couple episodes worth of Nat 20s.

We begin our journey in the Evolving Wilds of Zendikar! Our party meets up in the coastal city of Seagate and deals with fantasy Green Card problems, constant and unrelenting machismo, stacks of W-40 forms in triplicate, and a joke that simply refuses to die.

In this, the inaugural episode of Tall Dwarf Tavern, Dakotah our Dungeon Master introduces us to the Zendikar setting created by Wizards of the Coast, and we are introduced to our Affa-ble but distractable group of heroes; Vali (Kyle), Skeeve (Stephen), Mordir (Taylor) and Davidson P. Edward Jones III (Dave), as they prepare to enter a dangerous and ever changing world. In addition, an odd transmission was received that we’ve added to the beginning. It’s contents was…troubling, but only time will tell if anything will come of it…

Show your friends! Show your family! Show your dog! Make anyone small enough that you can restrain them listen to this cringy trailer for the niche podcast about that weird game that you’re always reading about but never play because your handful of friends are too cool for it! Just do what we do. Therapy is expensive, but you can make strangers on the internet listen to you act out your repressed mental issues for FREE!