Berner Phone

Crashing out is the cool Gen Z way to say mental breakdown. We've all been there, and the dialers are sharing stories of the crash out moments they'll never forget.  get tickets to Hannah's tour see Des live

If you post an inspirational quote on social media your friends might question your mental stability, so we had the dialers share them here instead.  get tickets to Hannah's tour get tickets to see Des live 

The pandemic had a lot of lows, but today we're looking on the bright side. The dialers are telling stories about the positives that came out of lockdown and we share our own story. Get tickets to Hannah's new tour Get tickets to see Des live

We've all stayed in a relationship a few months too long solely because the person was hot. The dialers are sharing stories of the craziest things they've ever done for a hot person.  Get tickets to Hannah's new tour Get tickets to see Des live 

The dialers were in need of some more life advice and no child gets left behind on this pod, so we delivered. 

The dialers asked for our advice and we didn't hold back.

We're all trying to feel connected to those around us and nicknames are one of the most fun ways to do that. The dialers are sharing the origin story of their nicknames and Hannah shares some of her more traumatizing nicknames.

Gifts can make or break a holiday, birthday, or even a relationship. The dialers are sharing the best and worst gifts they've given or received. 

Despite Hannah promoting her book for the past two weeks, we're talking about the things you shouldn't buy. Sometimes the items we think will make our lives easier actually turn out to do more harm than good.

Our screen times are alarmingly high so we figured we should at least find out what the dialer's favorite and most useful apps are. 

It's a new week, but couples are still fighting. Hannah and Des are back trying to save some relationships with advice on how to move past menial arguments. 

Every couple has that one recurring argument they can't agree on. The dialers are sharing the small but mighty fights in their relationships.

Customer service is a b**** and the dialers told us all their most annoying interactions. From standing up to get a waiter to shaking drinks at a bar, Hannah and Des figure out if they were ever guilty of being bad customers.

The last episode of are you the a-hole was a hit, so we're bringing it back. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the a-hole?" we're deciding if the dialers are in the wrong this week. Get Huel today with this exclusive offer for New Customers of 15% OFF + a FREE Gift at https://huel.com/BERN

Hannah is back and is passionate about this week's topic. Your notes app is about as personal as it gets, but the dialers are opening up to share the funniest thing in their notes. 

The dialers are making their case for the best TV series of all time.

Who needs therapy when you have Berner Phone? This week the dialers are sharing the best advice they've recieved from a therapist. 

The list of things that should be illegal could go on forever. You might leave this episode annoyed with humanity, but you'll also feel seen.

The dialers are putting Des to the test and he's giving advice on life, love, travel, and becoming a yoga instructor. 

Search history is personal, but the dialers are letting us in on their most recent Google searches. You can usually find Hannah searching tennis players, celebrities, and the latest documentaries, while Des is on WebMD and looking up ACL exercises.

Hannah's mom joins the episode to explain why we have to protect our energy and let karma do its job. The dialers share stories of when karma came back to bite.

Will people really do anything for money? We're finding out this week as the dialers share the wildest things they've done for money.

Every now and then, we realize it's time for a spicy episode. The dialers are sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of new things they've tried in bed.

We are learning, growing, and realizing things today because we asked the dialers to tell us "I was today years old when...". Some of these facts might change your life, but don't count on it.

The holiday season has come to an end and it's time to go back the office. Everyone has a coworker (or two) that they can't stand, so the dialers are sharing their worst work stories.

Turns out the dialers need a lot of advice...so we're doing a part 2 of our unprofessional advice. This week we're dealing with finances, family, and failing relationships. 

It's the holiday season and the dialers were in need of some advice, so we delivered. Lines are being blurred in open relationships, some in-laws just won't take the hint, and our resident cat expert is sharing some knowledge. 

Everyone has their quirks and odd habits. And this week, the dialers are revealing theirs in hopes that they aren't the one one. You'll either finish this episode feeling understood or questioning why you are the why you are. 

A vacation can either be a bonding experience or the beginning of the end of a relationship. This week the dialers are sharing their worst vacation experiences with family, friends, and partners.   

Family and friendship dynamics are complicated, but someone is always the asshole. Based on the popular Reddit thread "Am I the asshole?", we're deciding if the dialers are in the wrong this week. 

'Tis the season for the biggest family fights of the year. Hopefully these stories of Thanksgiving conversation gone wrong will make you feel better about your family's holiday dysfunction.

Sometimes it really is better to give than recieve. This week the dialers are sharing the worst gifts they've ever gotten.   

Des is in the hot seat this week. He's answering all the things you've ever wondered about men. This is the most dialers we've ever had call in and you don't want to miss this one.  getjackblack.com/BERN with code BERN for 10% off seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN for 25% off 50% off at goodamerican.com with code BERNER carawayhome.com/BERN for 20% off

We address the pros and cons of Halloween and people's most embarassing costumes.  20% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/bern  Free shipping at quince.com/BERN free shipping mackweldon.com/gifting for $25 off menswear

Hannah's back (again). We're coming for everything from running to bad sex positions and the dialers are sharing hot takes on the most overrated things in life.   10% off cookware at Carawayhome.com/BERN 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 200% off tonal.com exercise machines with code BERN 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 30 day free trial at dipseastories.com/BERN

Hannah is back on pod this week and we're feeling nostalgic. Is there really such a thing as a the good ole days? Those who got to go to Blockbuster on Friday nights and burn CDs for their high school girlfriend would say yes.  10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 15% off all products at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 20% off and a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN 

Des is joined by the hilarious Joanne McNally this week. They're giving advice on dating a comedian, in-law issues, how to woo an Irish man, and correct emoji usage.  Free shipping at quince.com/bern 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN Save $15 on skincare at Apostrophe.com/PHONE $200 off your order at tonal.com with code BERN  

The dialers have been through the wringer with some crazy liars. We start off light hearted then hear some insane (and possibly illegal) stories. We don't condone lying BUT white lies about why you were late or why you canceled plans are completely ok. zocdoc.com/BERNER 15% off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 30 days free at dipseastories.com/BERN 20% off bedding at bollandbranch.com/BERN  40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 40% off 50% off at factormeals.com/BERN50 with code bern50 20% off CleanMyMac X with code bernerphone  40% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/BERN

Gripes come in many forms and, in our book, they are all completely valid. The dialers are sharing the things that grind their gears and Hannah gives some advice to the big booty girlies. 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns  15% off all products at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN 20% off at liquid-iv.com with code BERN 20% off at prettylitter.com/BERN with code BERN    

Bad roommates are a canon event, but they always make for a good story. The dialers have been through it with their roommates and we start to realize we might be the bad roommates.  quince.com/BERN for free shipping 10$ off at oseamalibu.com with code BERN 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 with code BERN when you download the Ibotta app  

There were some wild and juicy messages this week. We're giving more advice this week about relationships, trying stand up, and ruining wedding days.  Get cookware for 10% off at hexclad.com/BERN 40% off dog food at sundaysfordogs.com/BERN Get up to 43% off and a free gift at mudwtr.com/BERN  30 day free trial at dipseastories.com/BERN 15% off sheets at bollandbranch.com/BERN

We're back this week with another advice episode. The dialers have found themselves in some sticky situations and we're giving our unprofessional advice.  $200 off exercise machines at tonal.com with code BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/BERN50 with code BERN50  Get a new wireless plan at mintmobile.com/BERNER  Affordable luxury essentials at quince.com/BERN free shipping  25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN  25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/BERNER   

We've all fallen victim to buying items from targeted ads that seem like the cure to all our problems. This week the dialers are sharing the purchases they regret and have hidden from their spouses. And it's one of our favorite episodes so far.    20% off the best chips at masachips.com with code BERN Smell good with 15% off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN  15% off at citylips.com with code BERNER 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN 50% off haircare prose.com/BERNER   

What if we all stopped trying to make excuses and just said no? The moral of today's episode is "if it's not a fuck yes it's a no".    zocdoc.com/berner  Get 25% Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN 20% off better hydration at liquid-iv.com with code BERN 15% off bedding at bollandbranch.com/bern  25% off shaving needs at shopflamingo.com/berner with code BERNER 10% modern bidets at hellotushy.com with code BERN

Pets are the glue that hold our lives and our mental sanity together. But they have minds of their own and despite what we may think, they don't always listen to us. This week the dialers are sharing some wild pet stories. Some left us laughing and some left us cringing. 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com with code BERN $5 for registering on the Ibotta app with code BERN Get the best cat litter 20% off plus a free cat toy at prettylitter.com/BERN with code BERN Snack guilt free at masachips.com with code BERN for 20% off Get 20% off your CleanMyMac X subscription with code BERNERPHONE

The dialers are sharing the minor things that feel like a complete disaster. From incorrect food orders to stubbing your toe - days are being ruined nationwide. Luxury essentials at quince.com/bern for free shipping and returns Cut down on your wireless bill at mintmobile.com/berner Get ready to eat meals with 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50 with code bern50 10% premium cookware at hexclad.com/BERN  Get premium hydration for 20% at liquidiv.com with code BERN  

We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve your own. The dialers are navigating wedding stress, awkward family situations, and dating dilemmas.  Get the best chips for 20% off at masa.com with code BERN 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN  nurx.com/BERN for expert mental health help Get 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 off your skincare consultation at apostrophe.com/phone  15% off with code BERN at lumedoerant.com  Upgrade your athletic wear at greatnesswins.com with code bern for 25% off 

Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage.  Get 20% off better hydration at liquidiv.com w/ code BERN 50% off custom haircare at prose.com/BERNER 15% off luggage at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN  Make going to the doctor easy at zocdoc.com/BERNER Get 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com w/ code BERN  

Things don't always work out the way we planned but often it turns out for the best. Whether it's crazy ex boyfriends or crushed dreams of winning Wimbledon, life has a way of working out.  Give your gut some support with 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN  Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com and use code BERN for 25% off Sleep better with 15% off and free shipping at bollandbranch.com/bern Get cash back on every purchase and $5 just for trying Ibotta. Download the app and use code BERN when you register.  

We're going through the dialer's favorite song lyrics and there are even some impromptu performances. We learned Hannnah likes music that makes her want to punch a wall and Des likes music that makes him tear up.  For 15% off deodorant -  use code BERN at lumedeodorant.com Get high quality essentials at quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns Get the best drinks with free shipping at liquiddeath.com/BERN High quality athletic wear at greatnesswins.com code BERN for 25% offf nurx.com/BERN

Hannah and Des are both in the process of writing a new hour of stand up. The dialers are helping to spark some creativity and inspiration. Are Irish men sexy and what do we think of therapy? And for the first time ever, someone wants Hannah to talk more about tennis. Cut your wireless bill to $15 at mintmobile.com/BERNER FACTORMEALS.com/bern50 for 50% off your first month of meals Murder your thirst at liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed's DS-01® Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN