A soccer podcast with Bob and Jake
Manchester United Fans step up the Super League protests; MLS = bangers and Vibes; USMNT roster for the Olympics, do the match see if we actually got to 18. Enjoy
Ballboys are Back! Pino and Midge Purce vIsit the White House in sick pantsuits; WSL SKY TV deal: Question: Should we make a dunking on Inter Miami a regular segment? Enjoy!
OOOOwwwEEEE! The Ballboys got some thoughts on the USWNT performance in the She Believes Cup; some thoughts on the future of attacking roles in the team and an admission that The old heads can still ball. Carly and Pinoe ain't forking over their spots to Catarina Macario and Crystal Dunn just yet. But lets be honest, if you aren't super fucking jazzed for the potential of the Reggae Boys in the upcoming World Cup qualification cycle, you can slam your dick in a desk drawer. Oh, and Bob is sorry to inform you that Herve Reynard is the Coach of the Saudi Arabia men's national team. He really should've Googled that before telling you all how much of a Dreamboat that guy is. Enjoy!
Hey folks, on this weeks episode Jake feels the need to be a contrarian when it comes to the idea that the 2026 World Cup and the end of the current MLS CBA being lined up actually means more money for MLS players; then, get this, Bob cancels sports. Like all of them. So if you stick with the Ballboys for some rather meandering labor takes, shit really pops off. Enjoy.
The boys are on a roll with discussions of the next global American soccer star and also Christian Pulisic's GQ spread, Phil Neville as betting favorite to be the first MLS coach to be sacked, and put respek on Wayne Rooney's name. Enjoy!
The Ballboys make their long awaited return with some MLS Labor discussions; WSL and Prem talk that surround Manchester United primarily (I thought they said they'd try no to do that); In Casey and Ole the boys trust; Hitaus talk in the Prem; and some brief discussion of Jack Grealish and his thick-ass calves.
Sancho talk Derails pretty quickly, but the Ballboys circle back around; MLS is Back tourney and Will the MLS come back and in what form does a "completed" season take; Champions League... yup thats still a thing.
Jake uploaded this weeks episode just before you get to watch more soccer this weekend. Thanks Jeebus for the eerie silence of German soccer stadiums. The boys fit as much actual soccer talk into this one as they could manage. Enjoy!
Quarantine episode 3! The ballboys discuss the House of Saud and their impending takeover of Newcastle; The dissolution of the US Soccer Development program; Highlights from Pirlo's Memoir. Enjoy!
Quarantine Episode 2! The boys discuss the newest round of indictments from the Justice Department relating to the 2018 and 2022 world cups; Bob stans Wayne Rooney's new Shrek Marx alter ego and the boys stand up for footballers and the disdain the public seems to have for the money they earn, and whether they should be the ones giving it back in this crisis; The boys try to end on a high note.
Bob's road trip to the East Coast; COVID-19 shuts down the world and also soccer; some hopeful speculation about European leagues and how they might finish their schedules; Bob and Jake's "Introduce to your Grandma 11," enjoy.
MLS Heavy Episode, the ballboys talk Liverpool's post Unbeatable charge to the title, United and the Ighalo-Era; Plus thoughts on COVID from Dr. Danielle. Enjoy!
After a very quiet introduction... NWSL Draft! MLS Draft! The boys discuss their ability to predict obvious things. Ed Woodward, Manchester United and the wet fart noise Jake and Bob hear every time they hear those two names. Enjoy!
The Ballboys have fun in this one! Bob and Jake provide their All Follicle 11 after realizing they missed out on a similarly fun hair based segment in their 2019 awards show. If you're a listener over the age of 18, please type "Shep Messing Nude," into Google.
Rolling, rolling, rolling, these Ballboys keep on rolling, Cheeky Ballboys talking more soccer, Rawhide! A mid-year roundup of Europe, not all of it, just the parts the Ballboys can kinda pay attention to; 2020 awards (we immediately thought of funnier categories after we recorded this). Best hairline recovery of the last decade would have been a doozy.
Howdy Partners, The ballboys are comin' at ya with a holiday episode, they start with Jake's cookie review, Bob is quite the baker. Ancelotti and Arteta are in at Everton and Arsenal; the boys ask questions, and provide no answers. Italy and people of color are at it again in Serie A and the boys think that the most likely reason is that someone is applying for an internship at The Onion. On a lighter note, Ashley Young playing on the wing and what could have been if fullback recruitment had been better at United. Also, he is a great guy and he'll be missed come the end of his contract in June. Happy Holiday everybody!
The boys are just about at the one year mark, their production quality and prep work is still in the fine tuning stages, but they've got some opinions about US Soccer, a Champions league roundup from either side of the Atlantic and some Marcus Rashford stats that are giving Bob a pants-tent. Enjoy
Midweek Premier League Action, Managerial turmoil - the ballboys give some Nostradumus-like predictions about who'll get the stanky boot next in England following Emery and Poch, Ballon Dor and Jake ends the show with a Freudian slip. Cheeky Ballboys, Cheeky Ballboys, Cheeky Ballboys.
A double dose of the Ballboys. Dare we say a pair of Ballboys episodes. Is Jamie Vardy the reverse Wayne Rooney; MLS Cup Final Preview; Parity in MLS? And the USWNT makes a swift and decisive managerial decision... add that to the list of differences in how the men's and women's programs function; We know Gregg Berhalter sees ghosts, but should he lose his job?
Ooh Baby this one old as fuck... A review of the first round of MLS playoffs and we end with a goodbye to Jill Ellis. Episode 25 coming up right after, Bob's going to Southeast Asia, so enjoy this relative glut of the Ballboys. Episode 26 will be happening a few weeks from now.
Transfers that didn't happen; the inevitability of Lukaku's second game in Italy; Donkey of the Week: Phil Neville!
The boys uploaded this one late, but its filled with goodies. Jake's voice cracks in the intro and it only goes up from there. International rosters for upcoming qualifiers; U.S. Open Cup final and a question about neutral finals; Champions League Groups; King Eric's speech wasn't really that dense a the draw ceremony; is there something about the modern game that will prevents another Cantona?
The boys are back, its all pretty haphazard today, but they get through it. EPL has started; MLS is censoring their "hip" fans; other stuff.
Number 20; The ballboys provide their way too late WC final review; the Ballboys mainly discuss how impressive the Women's roster as a whole maintained their DGAF level of partying on their victory tour; Why can't the NWSL be profitable, really tell us why, all of these women seemed capable of making money off of themselves; Transfer news.
Woah this one is pretty late. The Ballboys review USA France WC QF; determine the ladies are, "Monstars," and you may as well stop listening after that but if you must you'll hear some 3 week old soccer news of no interest.
The Ballboys are getting after it. Jake actually uploaded the episode Thursday night after recording and he an Bob kept it short and sweet this week. USA Men's first Gold Cup match Vs. Guyana; impressive debutants and dual nationals representing the US; some vague 2022 roster projections; the US Women's dominant close out game in the group stage Vs. Sweden; Tobin Heath is a chill Cali chick who steals peoples souls/probably also uses a vape pen with "CBD" for "recovery"; The best two teams in this World Cup really do play for the US; Knockout round projections.
The boys discuss Jeremy Ebobisse; MAGA Chuds; Transfer news and implications; Women's World Cup roundup and the best and worst 13-0 celebration takes as a result of the US Ladies statement game against Thailand.
Kind of a bummer of a Champions League Final for neutral observers and Spurs fans; US Mens U-20 result against France; US Mens Gold Cup Roster; Nations League excitement and young talent; Womens World Cup thoughts; and Eden Hazard has been named the Ballboys' captain of their 2018/2019 All Ass 11.
This week the ballboys discuss 32 teams for the 2022 world cup, and how 48 will make it suck in 2026; your weekly dose of Abu Dhabi Group Hate; Serie A; Champions League Final; big talk about all the research we're gonna do to prepare for the Women's wWorld Cup this summer.
Bob's trip to Seattle; Champions League Final previews; Ed Woodward Celebrity Banker and more. The ballboys are back after a short break!
The Ballboys are back from Hiatus, but don't worry, Bob didn't get hit in the face with anything, we just have poor planning skills. USWNT World Cup Roster; Champions League Roundup; and Donkey of the Week Saudi Arabia (New T-shirt idea, "Launder your Cultural Capital") Enjoy!
Ooh Baby... You know, sometimes the ballboys have a production meeting Wednesdays, during which they really plan their discussions. Our lack of production meeting is evident, at the very least in the run time of this weeks episode. Champions League Roundup and Jake's disappointing "Troops" impression from Arsenal Fan TV; A Manchester United 20-or so minutes/Bob's burning it all down; MLS expansion to 30 teams?
The Champions League Anthem and Quarterfinals; Bob actually watched an MLS game and Jake got a little too much sun while he watched the NYCFC/Red Bulls identity crisis early in the MLS season; Gold Cup groups; and no serious socio-political discussions, but a well deserved Donkey of the Week. Also, Wrestlemania.
Luna Bars fixing wage inequality, Strikers that age like fine wine, Calcio and racism, more racism. Comrade Bob is in full force!
USMNT Roundup, Bob's crush on England, Donkey of the week, plus a few digressions into ageless Italian strikers and beautiful chipped finishes.
Corrections! USMNT Euro Roster, International Break Foot-In-Mouth Disease, A Little Wolverhampton Wanderers History (Small Market Teams), and the First Donkey of the Week in a while!
Champions League Roundup, Fallen Heroes and Fan Entitlement. This episode ain't too cheeky, but we got MUSIC. What's Up!?! The Ballboys have some incredibly talented friends and they've got a theme song.
The Ballboys are back after a weeks hiatus because Bob was wounded by children; Bob and Jake talk Olivia Moultrie; Jake forgets to use his microphone; CONCACAF and UEFA Champions league roundup; and a brief games of the week roundup.
Bob and Jake give some love to soccer's Man in Black, the Argentine Johnny Cash: DIego Simeone; Champions league roundup and and history (did you know there has been a CL tournament in the Western Hemisphere since 1962? Find out about it Bob had no idea either.); Donkey of the Week: Manchester United fans who want their own gulf state sponsor; Piatek's Volley :)
Bob and Jake are hitting their stride with their socio-politically inspired soccer topics, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez doesn't have shit on Bob's Lefty credentials. Also, Champions League Roundup, Aaron Ramsey gets paid/Juventus is a well run club, Donkey of the Week: VAR, Games of the Week and Bleacher Report's soccer coverage is just the worst.
Bob and Jake suffer technical difficulties and power through it. USA v Costa Rica, Super Subs, Premier League squad depth, Doing this over Skype may be a problem, Green Street Hooligans is a terrible film, and much more.
The episode of never-ending topics: Bob and Jake get long winded in this one and they leave some juicy segments for a later date.