Cruisin' for a Reviewsin'

After a 15 month hiatus, I am back, baby! There's a new Tom Cruise movie out in cinemas & I have a LOT to say about it. But first I need to tell you all about how I got to meet THE Tom Cruise at the Sydney premiere of Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part 1! I am joined by Laurent who was there with me to discuss every last detail of the most exciting day of our lives! Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

In a stunning case of the stars aligning perfectly for me, I wrapped up the filmography of Tom Cruise just before his latest film started showing in cinemas & I got to do my first live episode! What a time to be alive! I got to host a screening of the new Top Gun before sitting down with Ben McLeay in front of a live audience of very attractive people to talk about how sick this film was. We do our best to avoid spoilers & instead talk at great length about G forces, whether the enemy nation was Iran, sick plane stunts & the weird rules in the local Top Gun pub that made absolutely no sense. Note: We had a lot of crowd participation which I did my best to crank up but some of it's still too hard to hear. You can watch the video to hear all that was said here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CeBlJ92IxzR/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

We're down to the last film of Tom Cruise's filmography & it's probably one of the more obscure titles that apparently no one has seen or even heard of! I am joined by Frank to discuss this weird, unfunny & yet strangely self aware "teen sex comedy" that we both really enjoyed despite it being truly terrible in every way. Join us as we discuss Tom's youthful beauty, horny cars, Carol Brady kissing teen boys, racist tropes, donkey shows & just how irredeemable the main characters are. Find Frank on instagram; www.instagram.com/mullet_frank Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

A super quick update about the delay in releasing the latest episode (hint: it was covid) which also just so happens to be the last film I have left to review! Plus the details for the live episode I'm recording immediately after my special screening of Top Gun Maverick! If you're in Brisbane on May 26th, you should come along! Get tickets here: https://events.humanitix.com/twobittopgun

Tom Cruise doesn't do cameos except for that one time he did in Austin Powers Goldmember, portraying Austin Powers himself. Emma & I discuss this hilarious segment of a very silly film franchise as well as Shrek & the evolution of fashion since the 60s. Very random but very fun! Follow Emma's on Facebook & Instagram @emetic_art Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

As we draw super close to the end of Tom Cruise's filmography, we're finally watching the 1st film he was ever cast in which is absolutely god awful. He has only one scene (where he squeezes in a surprising amount of Tom Cruisisms) & the rest of the film is absolute trash. Join Emma & I as we mock this film mercilessly & discuss a variety of topics such as how Brook Shields was exploited from a very young age, how the 80s were just kind of cooked in general, running in denim, horny mum's & how you'd be better off if you dumped your boyfriend. Follow Emma's on Facebook & Instagram @emetic_art Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Lauren & I finish off our review of this film in our usual casual, meandering style, with lots more Autism chat. We also discuss our love of KMart undies, farts, our thoughts on Forrest Gump & that time Tom Cruise dated queer icon, Cher! Once again, this is your WARNING that we swear a lot in this episode so please don't be mad at us, It's called self expression, Helen! Find Lauren on instagram: @laurenstardust Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

It's finally time to tackle the film I had the most apprehension about. But luckily I am joined once again by Lauren who was diagnosed with ASD in the last year & was able to give lots of great insight into their experience with autism & what this film got right & wrong. Join us as we also discuss tiffs with dads, women in sneakers, hating billionaires, Titanic theatre restaurants & much more. WARNING: There's lots of swearing in this episode, like way more than usual. You've been warned! Find Lauren on instagram: @laurenstardust Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Scott & I wrap up our review of this slick Grisham adaption where Tom Cruise spends a lot of it running for his life. For a film that has such a non-sexy conclusion (unless you think mail fraud is sexy, I suppose), it's really bloody enjoyable from start to end. Join us as we talk more about the appeal of Tom Cruise & why the couch thing wasn't a big deal, how we wish JK Rowling would piss off, the never ending stream of Marvel movies & I remind everyone, yet again, about how much I hate Jeremy Renner. Find Scott on Twitter www.twitter.com/ScottWamplerBMD & check out The Kingcast www.twitter.com/Kingcast19 Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

In another shocking twist, this week's guest has also seen this film but not for ages so it almost doesn't count, maybe? I am joined by Scott to discuss a film we both really enjoy but oh my god, so much happens! Join us as we discuss everything from time zones (we simply do not understand 'em), the Fast & the Furious franchise, how good a lawyer Tom Cruise would have been if he hadn't gotten into acting, horny grieving, boat explosions, Jigsaw being a creep & much more. Find Scott on Twitter www.twitter.com/ScottWamplerBMD & check out The Kingcast www.twitter.com/Kingcast19 Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Maria is back to tell me all about that time she met Tom Cruise! She gives all the goss on how the most famous movie star operates at a film premiere & the differences between a 40 minute interview with Tom & 10ish minutes with Russel Crowe. We also chat about entertainment journalism in general, ageing in Hollywood (including why you shouldn't go to the baseball the day after getting fillers) & lots, lots more! Find all things Maria Lewis via her website www.marialewis.com.au Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

I'm mixing up the format for this episode by having another guest who has already seen the film & also barely discussing the film at all. I am joined by Maria Lewis who absolutely hates this film & explains to me why the 1st Jack Reacher film was so god in her professional opinion. Join us as we discuss internet cafes, big cums, Halloween street parties, pointless daughters, vampires & a million other things that barely relate to this movie. Find all things Maria Lewis via her website www.marialewis.com.au Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Nick & I finish up this very silly review of the film that should've been called Mad Lad: Left Right Good Night, this time discussing the concept of drinking someone's blood from a boot, smashing skulls like cans of Pasito, slobberknocker fights in the rain & the fact Jack Reacher definitely would be anti vaxx. Get Nick to paint your minis via instagram.com/lefthandpooch Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

I am joined by Nick for this review which might be one of the most raucous ones yet! We spend 90% of our time screeching with laughter about how silly this film is, including such bizarre topics such as milk cops, dying from a kick in the taint, being forced to eat your own thumbs & man mounds. Get Nick to paint your minis via his instagram www.instagram.com/lefthandpooch Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

As Bart & I conclude our review of TAPS, we realise how much of a bummer this film is! Turns out a film about fanatical youths caught up in the military industrial complex isn't a total hoot. Who knew? Join us as we discuss Toms ripped bod (again), what on earth the National Guard is & how few uniforms they seem to have, psychological warfare & how Scientology made Tom Cruise's voice better. Find Bart's art on instagram @8.bit.bart Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

There aren't many Tom Cruise films that have been lost to the ages but TAPS seems to be one of the rare ones that very few people are aware of. I am joined by Bart to discuss this film about a military school & its fanatical students trying to save it from closure. Join us as we discuss rhythmic gun-nastics, the many outfit changes (including an abundance of sashes), children having access to guns & mortars, Sex & the City and war crimes aplenty! Find Bart's art on instagram @8.bit.bart Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Phoebe is back to share some fun Tom Cruise trivia with me & we get a little bit manic (like, I can barely string my sentences together, oops lol). Join us as we pay out on Robert Downey Jr, Fast & the Furious 9, Tenet, Christopher Nolan & Idris Elba's poor film role choices. We also discuss what we'd let Disney do with our likenesses after we die, how Black Widow really did come out a year too late, Tom Hardy's hilarious accents & like a few Tom Cruise stories peppered throughout. Check out Phoebe's artwork on her website: www.phoebeparadise.com Follow Phoebe on Instagram: www.instagram.com/phoebe.paradise/ Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Phoebe & I wrap up our review of American Made by making fun of it & the director Doug Liman a bunch. We also cover the complete lack of vice in a film that's literally about smuggling drugs into the US during the 80s, shoehorning in references to US presidents for no good reason, how poorly the women fare in this story & how Tom Cruise is a big neat freak. Check out Phoebe's artwork on her website: www.phoebeparadise.com Follow Phoebe on Instagram: www.instagram.com/phoebe.paradise Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

I've talked a lot about how Tom Cruise almost exclusively picks action movies to star in these days but there has been one exception; this movie! I am joined by Phoebe to discuss how little we actually know about 80s North/Central American history, how much we dislike seeing Tom doing sex scenes, Hollywood versions of true stories, plus we randomly (but justifiably) make fun of Matt Damon a lot! Check out Phoebe's artwork on her website: www.phoebeparadise.com/ Follow Phoebe on Instagram: www.instagram.com/phoebe.paradise/ Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

In the 2nd half of my review with Ari, we cover the famous sword fighting scene & the big, final battle, fumbling out way through facts & history! Things also get emotional when we discuss perfect cherry blossoms & Ken Watanabe's beautiful eyes. Find Ari on instagram: www.instagram.com/maxcalifornia_ Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

After a bit of a break, I'm back to review an absolute banger of a film with Ari! This film cops a lot of flack as people assume Tom Cruise is the titular last Samurai (hint: he's not) which is a bummer because it's really bloody good! Join us as we discuss which Samurai we're crushing on, watching Tom Cruise get a face full of mud, how fkd the patriarchy is & our extremely limited knowledge of famous battles. Find Ari on instagram: @maxcalifornia_ Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Just a quick update about the podcast & why there hasn't been a new episode for a little while. Basically, I'm still here & excited to finish reviewing Tom Cruise's filmography but with so few films left to do, it's taking a little bit longer to organise recording new episodes! I also divulge my plans for the podcast once I've gotten through his films! Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Peter is back to chat about the movies we watched as kids because our mum's fancied one of the starring actors as well as some of the films we saw when we were perhaps a bit too young for them. The films we specifically discussed, for anyone who might want to check them out, were: Top Secret Real Genius Thunderheart Willow Point Break My Own Private Idaho The Last Boy Scout Earth Girls Are Easy Transylvania 6500 Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Peter is back to finish off Tropic Thunder, a movie that could literally only exist in 2008. Join as we continue to mock Justin Theroux's writing credits, continually forget that jack Black was even in this film, shudder when they kick the ableism up another notch, debate which characters we're married to & discuss Tom Cruise's dancing abilities at length. Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

It's time to review one of the least Tom Cruisey films of his filmography, a film that is pretty controversial for a variety of reasons but actually improved Tom's career significantly by proving he doesn't always take himself seriously. I am joined by Peter where we discuss the various offensive elements in this film from Blackface, ableist slurs, punching down when you're already on the top of the pile, Justin Theroux's strange writing credits & just a little bit of Tom Cruise, as it turns out! Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

I am back with Andrew to finish our review of War of the Worlds where we discuss the divisive ending, why we think the movie didn't do super well (hint: it involves a couch) & why WE think this movie rules before we deviate into discussing our favourite Tom Cruise movies, why we love Tom as an actor/person, our thoughts on Scientology & so much more. Find Andrew on twitter @IllyBocean or via the Boonta Vista podcast at http://boontavista.com/ Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

In a shock twist, this week I am reviewing a movie that my special guest has already seen! I am joined by self-confessed Tomoisseur Andrew who also absolutely bloody loves this movie & is helping me defend it against what we believe to be unfair criticisms of this sci fi masterpiece. We talk a lot about bad dad's, screaming children, cool alien sounds, the 9/11 symbolism & much more. Find Andrew on twitter @IllyBocean or via the Boonta Vista podcast: boontavista.com Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Ben is back to finish off our review of The Color of Money where there's a big shift in the final third of the film, with the mentor & the protégé parting ways. Join us as we discuss clumsy tantrums, training montages, sweater vests, US winters & dropping the word balabushka into everyday conversations. Find Ben on twitter @thomas_violence or via the Boonta Vista podcast www.boontavista.com Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Did you know Tom Cruise was in a Martin Scorsese movie? Not only that, but a movie about pool? And that it's really bloody good? It sounds preposterous but I promise it's true! Co-starring the incredible Paul Newman, it's about the seedy world of pool hustling. Join Ben McLeay & I as we discuss the rugged sex appeal of Paul Newman, that wonderful Vince t-shirt, how very little we actually know about pool, the video game DOOM & inexplicably, the disaster film The Perfect Storm. Find Ben on twitter @thomas_violence or via the Boonta Vista podcast www.boontavista.com Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Imagine if you will, a world where Tom Cruise & Tom Hanks had gotten each other films roles! How many would have worked & how many would have been ruined? Heather & I discuss which films could have had the other Tom in them & which movies would have been so bad they're good with a Tom swap (hunt: Magnolia).  Listen to Heather's podcast Online Moll Patrol via www.onlinemollpatrol.com or searching for @hacklock on twitter/instagram Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Well it had to happen, Tom Cruise had to star in a complete dud eventually. Directed by Robert Redford & co-starring Meryl Streep this is an absolute yawn fest about how the War on Terror sucks ass, starring Tom as a slimy Republican senator. Join Heather & I as we do our best to make this snooze fest kinda interesting by dissing it constantly? Look, we tried! Listen to Heather's podcast Online Moll Patrol via www.onlinemollpatrol.com or searching for @hacklock on twitter/instagram Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

We're back in 2054 to finish our review of 'Minority Report' where we find out whether or not the pre-cogs were right about John being a killer or if there was a redemptive minority report after all. Join Cam & I as we discuss eye transplants, creepy metal spiders, how much Tom Cruise loves holding his breath, Spielbergian plot devices & plenty more. Find Cam on Twitter @no_3 Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

This week we find ourselves in the future, in 2054 where murderers are caught before they even do the murder by a special team called 'Pre-Crime'. Yep, it's time to review the excellent Spielberg sci fi hit 'Minority Report'! Cam joins me to discuss the important stuff like wooden balls that simply cannot be tampered with, poorly named liquids, the effect murder has on your "metaphysical" self, whether cops will ever stop being bastards & much more. And that's barely the 1st half of the film! Find Cam on Twitter @no_3 https://twitter.com/no_3 Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

We have a bonus minisode this week due to it being the holiday period, so I'm joined yet again by Benjamin to have a chat about the IMAX movie Tom Cruise narrated in 2002, his other upcoming space movies, the time he yelled on set, the Tom Cruise Renaissance & other lil bits n pieces. Find Benjamin on twitter @benjungles or instagram @toontownexpress Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Dave Callan joins me again to discuss whether or not we think Tom Cruise can do comedy. Tom isn't particularly well known for his comedic performances but he has dabbled in it from time to time, most notably in his portrayal of Les Grossman in 'Tropic Thunder'. We discuss the types of comedy we think he could do well & other roles he's played that were unexpectedly funny. Find Dave Callan on Facebook, Instagram (@davecallanig) & Twitter (@davecallantwit) Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

You're a corker! I am joined by Dave Callan this week to review the Ron Howard film from 1992 'Far and Away' which was essentially just an excuse for Tom Cruise & his new wife Nicole Kidman to throw each other lusty looks constantly. It's full of bad Irish accents, continuity errors, extremely misplaced comedy & a hilarious incident involving a penny farthing. Join us as we contemplate the idea of Irish people gleefully stealing land from native Americans, punching horses for no good reason, Looney Tunes style SFX & (once again) Tom Cruise's eyebrows. Find Dave Callan on Facebook, Instagram (@davecallanig) & Twitter (@davecallantwit) Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Allison is back to finish our review of Born on the Fourth of July where this time we delve into the importance of sex work, disability access, how US politics has changed between the late 60s and now and how great it is to hear Tom Cruise scream "BIG ERECT PENIS". We also cover some trivia about the film including a plan to actually paralyse Tom??? Find Allison on both twitter & instagram @infiniteallien Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

We're back with another of Tom Cruise's war films, but this one is distinctly anti-war this time. Based on the real life story of paralysed Vietnam war vet Ron Kovic, we follow a patriotic young man's journey into becoming a famous anti-war activist. Join Allison & I as we get deep on the problems with war, patriotism, the lack of care available to vets when he they get home from war & much more. Find Allison on both twitter & instagram @infiniteallien Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

After reviewing 'All The Right Moves', Bryn and I tried to imagine what came next for his character Stef and came up with the concept of a Tom Cruise Shared Universe! Join us as we haphazardly try to link as many Tom Cruise films together as possible to create new timelines that inevitably turn him into either Ethan Hunt or a vampire. Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

We're popping back to the 80s for a very early Tom Cruise film that hasn't stood the test of time quite as well as some of his other classics. Bryn & I delve into the wild world of high school football, hormones, shitty home towns & excessive synths. Did we learn any lessons along the way? Not really. Did we have a lot of laughs though? We sure did! Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

In our stunning conclusion of A Few Good Men, Ginger & I cover the court case in great detail, tripping over the delivery of the famous lines from the iconic Jack Nicholson scenes. We continue our discussion on how messed up military culture is, why it was important for Demi Moore's character to be female in a sea of angry white men, Tom Cruise's tradition of playing the playboy-character-learns-a-valuable-lesson & much more. Find Ginger on Twitter @gingerbft & listen to their podcast 'Key Change' on your fave audio platform (or via gingerbfg.com).

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Yep it's time for that movie with the very famous line that has been parodied at least 10,000 times in pop culture. Ginger joins me to discuss Aaron Sorkin's 1st screenplay that is honestly way better than it has any right to be considering it's a very serious military legal drama. Please note: We stuff up military & legal jargon at absolutely every turn while also continuously scoffing at the obsession with "codes" and calling people sir, so be warned if you're a military aficionado because you're gonna get so mad at us, lol! Find Ginger on Twitter @gingerbft & listen to his podcast 'Key Change' on your fave audio platform. Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

If you enjoyed the discussion about how homoerotic Top Gun was then you're probably going to like this minisode! Ava & I discuss Lestat and Louis' relationship, debating how queer they actually were & how different the film might have been if made now & not the deeply homophobic early 90s. Join us as discuss their toxic relationship, obsessive love, loss & other vampiry things! Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram via @MissAvaSavage Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Ava & I are back with part 2 of Interview with the Vampire where we whinge about Louis some more before Lestat makes his stunning comeback(s). Join us as we delve into the wild world of how Tom Cruise prepares himself for film roles, the special/makeup effects, how much it would have cost Brad Pitt to leave the film & we discover a brand new Tom Cruisism! Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram via @MissAvaSavage Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

If ever there was a role that Tom Cruise absolutely smashed, defying all expectations as a Hollywood mega star, it has to be 1994's Interview with the Vampire. I am joined by Ava who is well versed in vampire lore, to discuss this dramatic, visually pleasing and often homoerotic film co-starring Brad Pitt and Kirstin Dunst. Join us as we cover vampire stereotypes, the morality of feeding upon racists and endlessly complain about Louis and his complaining, Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram via @MissAvaSavage Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

We all know that volleyball scene was pretty dang homoerotic, but what about the rest of Top Gun? Josie & I explore the queer undercurrent of the 80s action classic after enjoying a deep dive on the topic by feminist write Clementine Ford. Find Josie's podcast at www.instagram.com/ahilltodieonpod or on twitter www.twitter.com/jsspcr Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com Artwork for this episode is by Caragh Brooks www.caraghbrooks.com

Taaaake my breath awaaaayyyyyy! Yes folks, we're finally reviewing the film from which my title music comes from; Top Gun! I am joined by Josie who had never seen this giant advert for the military before & was as delighted as I am by the excessively sweaty naked man content! Join us as we delve into the world of FIGHTERTOWN, USA where women are scarce, volleyball is played in jeans, toxic masculinity gets nice people killed, frosted tips everywhere, the antagonist just wanting his team mates to stay alive & so much more. Find Josie's podcast at www.instagram.com/ahilltodieonpod or on twitter www.twitter.com/jsspcr Podcast art for this episode by Caragh Brooks caraghbrooks.bigcartel.com/

Because I couldn't quite let Mission: Impossible go, here is one final minisode dedicated to the franchise before I finally move on. I am joined by Liam who reviewed Valkyrie with me way back in episode 5 to run through all of the best (and worst) bits of the series where we discuss the best stunts and mask reveals, suggest possible replacements for Ethan Hunt if the series continues without Tom Cruise, bitch endlessly about JJ Abrams and rank the film from best to worst. Find Liam's podcast via @flawlessamp Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Now that all of the Mission: Impossible films have been reviewed, it's time to speculate about the two upcoming films that are currently being filmed simultaneously! Join Britt and I as we discuss possible locations, threats, villains and, of course, dizzying stunts and whether or not they'll involve tanks or bicycles. Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

It's here! The stunning conclusion to the review of the greatest Tom Cruise film ever made; Fallout! Britt and I wrap up the incredible end of the film (involving nuclear bombs, shocking returns from the past, helicopters, getting Harvey Dented and fist fights on cliff tops) before giving it our RECORD BREAKING reviews and chucking in some slash fan fiction at the end for good measure. BAM BAM! Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

We're finally here! The latest Tom Cruise film, the 6th in the M:I franchise, the very one that turned me into the Tom Cruise superfan I am today: Fallout! I am joined by Britt who has been watching the movies for the 1st time along with the podcast, who thankfully had as much fun as I did with this absolute banger of a film. Join us as we go through every stunt in minute detail, compare parts of the movie to Dumb & Dumber, Batman and Tap Dogs and that infamous fistcock moment. Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com