Cursed or Blursed

HIYA THERE GIRLBOSSES! I'm going to have to shower after having typed that out with my very own hands, besties. In any case, we teamed up for a special episode on Cruella, as a continuation of our ongoing discourse about 101 Dalmatians!

Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened! And also because we'll be updating this account intermittently with bonus episodes so stay tuned! However, it is true that this is the last of our regularly scheduled episodes. Thank you everyone for tuning in consistently over the past two years! We've both really appreciated all of you sharing the podcast, suggesting movies and feedback, and for getting confused that one time we tried to do an April Fools prank. See you for our next BONUS EPISODE: Eurovision 2021! Elise & Shannon 

If you told me these cream pies were deadly, I wouldn't have eaten 10 of them in one sitting!! Link to the final song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq_WkGHuuX0&t=225s Link to the most blessed cover of this final song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWVP61CQjB8

The Anglerfish and the Electric Eel are hitting the mean streets of NYC and we're here to flood the subway! Not even SPIDERMAN can stop US, nye he he he hehhhhh. 

Water emoji. Earth emoji. Fire emoji. Air emoji. Long ago, the four emojis lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Eggplant emoji attacked. 

2 weary podcasters + 2*101 Dalmatians Films = 204 animals that need a break.

Can somebody PLEASE tell Ryan Glee Murphy to stop?

6 words: tears in the fabric of reality.

In which we are deeply betrayed.

We go slightly beyond-remit to discuss A Christmas Prince, the Netflix cult classic! Ft. Kyrie, who provides some top notch historical context for this masterwork.

DON'T. BE. A. PROBLEMATIC. PLANT. DADDY.

We're gonna get cyberbullied so hard. 

Shannon and Elise would be amazing ghosts. Feel free to take that as a threat. 

Will our Netflix overlords win out over 1990’s sitcoms? This is the battle royale nobody asked for but we did anyway.

Ya like jazz?

We watched Fox Robin Hood. I know that’s not the name of the movie. But listen, there’s so many Robin Hoods. And this is the fox one. The one where the fox is Robin Hood. Fox Robin Hood. It’s the Robin Hood with the country music. Fox Robin Hood. With that chicken.

Who knew there were so many cults in the Pacific Northwest??

Going off-piste with a TV show here, but it is a HUMDINGER of a TV show - plague of our teenage years, ruiner of songs, friend of the slushy industry: GLEE.

Napoleon just really loves waterparks, tell your friends. 

What a varied episode! Topics discussed include: which famous people we'd fight in a pit, early iPods, Derrida, TikTok, oh and flying cars I guess. 

If you could bring any cartoon to life, who would you choose? There are many correct answers. The only incorrect answer is Olaf from Frozen. 

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown I eat no eggs a week 'cause my cholesterol was to HIIIIIIIIIGH. 

You remind me of the pod. What pod? The pod with the power! What power? The power of review-doo. Who do? You do. Do what? Remind me of the pod. 

Batmaaaaaan! Na- na- na- na- na- na- na- na- na-vigating a world of grappling hooks, magical cats, poorly designed zoo enclosures and uncovered vats of chemicals, Elise & Shannon take a deep dive into Tim Burton's incredibly brief foray into the Batman canon before his privileges got revoked. 

It's Elise's favourite annual holiday and she decided to torture Shannon, a Eurovision newbie, with 26 whole entire songs selected especially from 20 years of Eurovision Song Contest History. Expect political intrigue, novelty acts, and your hosts getting increasingly drunk throughout the evening! It was euphoric! Full playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRpaLIB0tUFAehkclmZMbvyH-zJGCB-rZ

This episode contains a long long rant about sourdough. And also a discussion on the ethics of body swapping. Mostly though, we have a complete MELTDOWN about the live action Scooby Doo movies from 2002 & 2004!

Leapin' lizards, mistah! It's time for a seemingly universally hated musical. Shannon seethes with rage, Elise tries to master the intricacies of the Brooklyn accent. One of the main characters is called Daddy. DADDY! EW!

3 mean girls stacked on top of eachother under a trenchcoat. With mallets. One of them has ESPN or something.  

This week we review the third Harry Potter movie, you know, the one where they inexplicably made everything about jazz in spite of the content of the book?

What makes a cursed film and what makes a bluuuuuuursed?Let us know folks, who is YOUR slightly inappropriate Disney crush?

TwihardTwihard 2: Twi HarderTwihard 3: Twihard with A VengeanceTwihard 4: Live Fast or Twi HardTwihard 5: A Good Day to Twi Hard 

Hello yes our son is a mouse. He's also an adult with the voice of Michael J Fox. No no the orphanage didn't do a home visit. Yes we own a cat. 

Did you know that getting sucked into a boardgame, like, really sucks? Do you know how much safer it would be to get sucked into Monopoly than Jumanji? The only risks there are temporary imprisonment and stock market crashes. Cluedo would be bad. As we know from Harry Potter, chess would be bad. Risk? Risky.

You have 4 choices in this world:1) Team Dog - brainwashed nationalists with a stronghold on dog UN. Masters of highly advanced geo-engineering (dog UN is in the earth's core).Team leader: Alec Baldwin Dog. 2) Team Cat - evil underground mafia types with a long history of committing war crimes and doing all the bad bits in history that we thought humans did. Team leader: Mr Tinkles.3) Team Mouse - loyal and violent militia, big fans of biological warfare. Want nothing more than the entire continent of Australia. Team leader: the military industrial complex.4) Team Sexy Bond Batman Villains - very cool, did nothing wrong. Team leaders: Shannon & Elise.

Its everybody's favourite film about a stupid baby emperor losing his status but gaining a papa. This episode has its own drinking game. 1 x shot every time: we say the word corpse, the Spider Incident is mentioned, Elise says "but like, its funnyyyyy", Shannon paraphrases something Kuzco says to make him sound like a millennial. 

High School Musical. Just like Romeo and Juliet but the Montagues are the basketball team and the Capulets are the science team. And there isn't any death. Or really any actual plot tension. Or really much romance to speak of. (There's no gay baseball song in Romeo and Juliet which come to think of it really is a shame.) Tune in to listen to us wax lyrical about our School Dayz. 

Whats a jellicle cat? WHATS A JELLICLE CAT? Jellicle cats listen to podcasts. Jellicle cats enjoy all things blursed. Jellicle cats make poor decisions. Jellicle cats watch things that are cursed. Jellicle cats record their opinions. Jellicle cats like to sing all the time. Jellicle cats have nervous breakdowns, writing episode captions in very forced rhyme. OK hope thats cleared things up for you. Enjoy!

 We're dig dig diggin' into the new year with another beloved Disney Classic - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Tune in for us getting sidetracked many times by topics such as: Elise's blossoming voice acting career, astrology, and the Economy.

Ho ho ho babes its time for our Emergency Christmas Episode! This week we revel in the anti-capitalist festive spectacle that is How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000). We seize not only the means of production, but also the opportunity to gush over everybody's secret childhood crush aka Jim Carrey as a fuzzy green  man. 

Its our penultimate episode of 2019 and we've greased up for everyone's second favourite teen musical (second to High School Musical 2, of course). Tune in for Shannon's attempt to kill Elise with mulled wine, some sick-as-heck hot takes, and the worst singing of the decade so far (nobody is likely to beat us now).  

This is it folks, the episode where Elise and Shannon lose their damn minds. Mike Myers has come in and hit us over the head with a baseball bat, wrecked our apartment, and shipped us off to military school. Welcome to The Cat in the Hat (2003 aka the worst year)!

We have double the fun here this week as we watch both 1970s and 2005 Charlie/Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. We had a great time reviewing two counts of the tragic tale of the Child Murder Factory. Daddy, I want basic rights for all employees!!

This week on Cursed or Blursed, Elise & Shannon feel joy for the first time in so so long by watching Anastasia. Geography mistakes are made,  History is horribly rewritten and we kind of stan Rasputin.

This week on Cursed or Blursed, Elise and Shannon try (like, really really try) to break the Cursed Streak by hitting up The Neverending Story. Shannon has a lot to say about protein shakes, Elise comes very close to having a breakdown over the topic of audience participation, both come very close to siding with the antagonist (again).  Let us know, what would YOU name the Childlike Empress?

This week on Cursed or Blursed, Elise and Shannon take a nosedive straight into the hellscape that is Return to Oz (1985). Elise considers the benefits of having her hands replaced by wheels, Shannon rails against the historically inaccurate use of barbaric psychotherapy methods. Can a movie partially inspired by a book called the ‘Wisconsin Death Trap’ manage to muster any charm whatsoever? Tune in to find out.

Welcome to Cursed or Blursed, the podcast where we revisit the movies that either make or break childhoods. Elise and Shannon re-traumatize themselves this episode with deep dark puppet content. Like and comment if you enjoyed episode 1! And please let us know, which Muppet would YOU want to raise?