Midlight Crisis

Podbean summary: Chapter 118 finally emerges into the daylight, freed at last from its cursèd existence! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss fantasy betrayal, SCUBA diving in Saskatchewan, and using your Flip PhoneⓇ to talk to your RealtorⓇ on an EscalatorⓇ.

Chapter 117 isn't even the biggest reveal of this chapter! Whoa! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss germicidal irradiation via UVC, demon venom (NOT poison), and BETRAYAL!!

Chapter 116 is here to pick you up in your getaway van! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss magical lore corrections and addendums, paranormal Jennifer Coolidges, and hypothesize how much, like for real, Alec might die.

What if you and Chapter 115 met up in the greenhouse to make out? Haha just kidding… unless…? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss teenage romance, flowers for fixing motion sickness, and learn which new pasta scenario will tear a friendship apart.

Chapter 114 is aggressively teenagery, unfortunately. Bear with it and join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss being gay in 2000s media, the consequences of severe sleep deprivation, and rat trauma.

Chapter 113 is here to sing a song and sharpen your knives, which is a real thing, I don't care what Sophie says. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how prone different monsters are to sun evaporation, vampire lacquer, and if shapeshifters are always naked.

Chapter 112 comes to you from a secret cache under an altar, because luckily you can find this podcast anywhere there is holy ground! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their very good media literacy skills, whether it's possible to be atheist in a fantasy novel, and the metaphysical properties of vampire dust.  

Chapter 111 drank a fairy potion and things have gotten a little silly. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the hilarious fulfilment of one of their ongoing predictions, get immediately attached to the one millennial-coded adult character (who could have guessed) (Sam did), and have really big feelings about small rodents.

Chapter 110's been converted to run on demonic energy! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss various teenage love polygons, bellybutton magic, and, unfortunately, Tumblr Sexymen.  

Today's episode isn't just a chapter, it's a whole dang synopsis! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they review their last year of reading, roast Sophie for unspeakable book choices, and talk about fanfiction way more than anyone expected.

Chapter 109 isn't in Australia, despite what Hannah might tell you. Or Velaris, despite what Sophie might tell you. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Downworlder cuisine, fail once again to guess how Clary and Jace are related, and debate the merits of doing yoga on the New York City sidewalks.

Chapter 108 is a balmy seven degrees Celsius! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the easy descent into Hell/Bone City, talk about how your memories aren't repressed (they're just made up), and try to calculate how many Shadowhunters it takes to build a Bone City.

On the fifth year of Crisis, Sophie, Sam, and Hannah gave to meeee... Five! Movie! Scenes! Join us for our annual tradition as we mash together our YA fantasy novel of the year, a fairytale retelling, and a tangled web of secrets to bring you this year's hot-off-the-press holiday rom-com...   Alyssa's Holiday Adventures in Demon Sleighing!

You followed a magic cat and it led you right to Chapter 107! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss fairy grammar, the Shadowhunter reality TV crossover everybody (Sam) has been waiting for, and bonus archangels.

Chapter 106 is Still Not King. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss werewolf name determinism, whether it's cool to play Dungeons and Dragons, and secrets learned through Scooby Doo-esque hijinks.

Chapter 105 knows what bergamot is, thank you very much! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the ideal frequency for eating cucumbers, sexy vampires (again, for some reason, free us) and the magic of hybridization.

Chapter 104 is here, and like Clary, it slaps! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss if being not like the other girls makes you just like the other girls, biblically accurate radio, and angel swords.

Don't sleep through Chapter 103, there is important exposition here! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss teenage dreams (the sexy ones), the Angel Suffering Table, and how to baptize a Shadowhunter. 

Don't look a gift Chapter 102 in the dark, yawning gap of its mouth! Instead, join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the stinging and smoochin' physiology of demons, how to make your cellphone holy, and a surprising connection with our previous reads.

Chapter 101 is heavily caffeinated at 10 pm, snaps for that. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what The Youths get up to, Hannah's terrible knock-knock jokes, and the Shadowhunters' Magic Eye invisibility powers.

*According to Midlight Crisis   Chapter 100 is a big milestone, y'all! We're celebrating with a special episode, wherein we discuss our collective favourite and least favourite books, discuss the Book Two Bitch/Bisexual, and almost ruin our long-running friendship over book opinions.

Chapter 99 is sending you to a farm upstate, where you can exposition all day long! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss gentle parenting your endangered magical teen, cat warlock eye genetics, and ska bands.

Chapter 98 is sneaking into your all-ages club to incite the fall of humankind! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss dimension-hopping viruses, the benefits and drawbacks of pharyngeal jaws, and reveal just how encyclopedic Sam's knowledge of this book is.

Grab your instruments, because Chapter 97 is mortal! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they prepare to speedrun like, so many fantastical creatures, reveal Sam's high school Shadowhunters clout, discuss the benefits of medium stakes, and enter... the City of Bones!

Chapter 96 is an unexpected unexpected part two, because we biologized the hell out of this book! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they continue to have a surprising number of opinions about birdkids and Erasers. Tune in for answers to the questions you never knew you wanted to ask, like: If the birdkids are 2% bird, who (or what?) is 2% human? Which birdkid has a superpower that is never mentioned after chapter one? Why do Erasers have such nasty blood? How does electrolysis work anyway? And STAY TUNED for the thrilling answer to everyone's most burning question: What 2007 book is Midlight Crisis going to read next!?

Is it a bird? Is it a kid? Is it another gosh damn hexapod? No, it's Chapter 95! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they finally, DEFINITIVELY reveal just how the Maximum Ride is made, if birdkids really DO fly in the fetal position, and, most importantly: how did we manage to talk about this dingdang book for so long that we had to make it a duology… in Chapter 95: Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment: The Birdkid, Explained: Part 1!

Chapter 94 is the wrap-up episode, and the Voice in your head… or is it?! I guess we'll never know… OR WILL WE?! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah in a retrospective of Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment as they share final thoughts and feelings, spoil the absolutely unhinged trajectory of the rest of the series, and reveal egg canon from an unexpected place.

Chapter 93 flies off around sixish, to Washington, DC, of course! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the Gasman's government name, illegal science numerology, and the importance of bringing any injured birdkids you find in your backyard to a licensed wildlife rehabilitator.

Chapter 92 is slipping and sliding its way into your podcatcher. If only there was some carpet... for traction... Anyway, join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss if your dog should be an Eraser, contemplate sturddlefish mistakes, and do NOT give you first aid advice

Chapter 91 is rubbing its sewer feet aaaaall over your lab carpeting! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss first-class lab equipment (unspecified), desperately try not to disparage their employers and/or academic institutions, and once again get stuck trying to make funny content about children being locked in cages for bad science.

Chapter 90 is Dissociating! In the Sewer. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss what language rats speak, how to do sea anemone enrichment, and Seventies Sex Cabin carpeting (tm).

Chapter 89 is here to remind you that you probably haven't fed your Neopet in 20 years, you should probably get on that. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they confidently and incorrectly discuss the timelines of technology development, besmirch the Erasers' strategy, and ask the age-old question: Are there vampires in the Old Testament?

Chapter 88 hopes this email finds you well and hopes to circle back to identify opportunities for synergies. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss various permutations of body hair, the evilness of an average six-year-old, and increasingly improbable methods of breathing underwater.

Chapter 87 is the beach episode! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss epic 2005 makeovers, the Millennial urge to become a marine biologist, and the potentially fraught physiology of SCUBA diving with hollow bones.

Chapter 86 keeps showing up, like a bad penny! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss how many ways you can fold a birdkid, Eraser statistical models, and just, like, a lot of physics that they don't really understand.

Today's episode isn't just a chapter, it's a whole dang synopsis! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they indulgently reminisce about 2023 (books), gush about this cool new author that you probably haven't heard of (Brandon Sanderson), and shockingly reveal who has a book problem (everyone).

Chapter 85 is Oops! All tangents! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss rich people's librarians, hangry hunter-gatherers, and regrettably, James Patterson's '69 (again).

Chapter 84 is gonna take you to church! Actually, it's a cathedral. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss sanctuary laws, failed adaptations, and the James Patterson '69.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Midlight Crisis gave to me: Twelve dancing birdkids; Eleven movie titles; Ten concept changes; Nine fired night guards; Eight visual bird gags; Seven evil patents; Six himbo moments; FIVE HOT CRISEEEEES; Four heist montages; Three story tropes; Two percent bird genes; AND A CASSOWARY IN A PEAR TREEEEEE

Chapter 83 is screaming bloody murder and so is the audio quality for some reason. Sorry about that, I don't know what happened. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss their own fourteen-year-old destinies (magical world-saving love triangles), bikes and Mikes, and the worst possible ways to make your human-dog hybrid not get hurt.          

Chapter 82 comes to you straight from the, uh, pointer of the ouija doohickey. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they, respectively, discuss the complex history of beanie babies, the surprising origin of the ouija board, and doing toy crimes.

Chapter 81 is none of your beeswax, dipstick! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss Max's evolving brain disease, the very cool technology of the early 2000s, and if h-e-double-hockey-sticks is a swear.

Chapter 80 is our Roman Empire (Taylor's version). Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss surfing the 'net (for kids and families!), Sophie's cat's inner potential, and secret subway cities.

Don't worry, you'll like Chapter 79 because it's full of weirdos! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the immersion-breaking appeal of New York delis, time-travelling Russian communist fashion, and indulge in their annually mandated zoo spiel.

Chapter 78 is all about breakfast. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they finally find the most divisive topic they've ever discussed: lasagna.

Chapter 77 is full of so much good biology, finally! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss campfire snacks, some absolutely wild real life genetic experiments, and get super into the weeds (or into the womb??) about amniocentesis. 

Chapter 76 started off with a fish, how did it end up like this?? Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss which Olympic sport is most like throwing a four-year-old, monarch butterfly migration, and why Max should stop scuba diving between chapters.

Chapter 75 is marcescent. You'll get it in a sec, I promise. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss hot chocolate crimes, the extreme paranoia of birdkids, and how to get a warbler to fight you.

Chapter 74 is honestly pretty depressing, sorry guys. Join Sam, Sophie, and Hannah as they discuss what Max has in common with Bigwig (the rabbit), how high a birdkid can count, and have a terrible realization that this book might actually be worse than Midnight Sun.

Chapter 73 is SO rich. It has like $60. Wow. Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss ATM theft, talk shit about American payment systems, and marvel over the phenomenon that is teenage boys in McDonald's.   Also, we talked about Fourth Wing a little bit, so there's that.

Chapter 72 is eating rats, because Fang said so! Join Sophie, Sam, and Hannah as they discuss the importance of stretches for thirty-year-olds with wings, if birds go to hell, and Sam finally, FINALLY, gets to bring up Illyrian wingspans.