Rent Free In My Head

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! WHAT DOES A ROOSTER DO???

STAY TOXIC!

Which Australian state is the Florida equivalent? What are the worst getaway vehicles used? Why does that man have a crossbow in his sweats? Join us to find out before we tell the tale of a ghostly urban legend you may not want to listen to on the bus...

Want us to sing you a song for a loaf of bread? The devil is a coin now and we're here to ruin trick-or-treating and give you another reason not to answer your door.

It's take your mate to work day so, let's go besties. This week, we dive into the world of cannibalism and talk about the weirdest things to rain from the sky. Also, no - you can't sleep in my outhouse.

This week, we start a new conspiracy theory regarding Arkansas and Kansas and take a throwback to the 90s when phones had cords and we think we know how pagers worked???

Happy quarter of a century to us! Neither of us got to have more than one nap this week and we're grumpy and exhausted. Jeramie didn't finish anything he started and phoned it in and Kirstyn can't get through 5 minutes without swearing. Join us in what was an accidental Massachusetts themed episode. This week, Jeramie recounts a docuseries he didn't finish about a museum heist and Kirstyn talks about an angel of death who's also ‘high key a lying lil bitch'. Topics include: a mutual hatred of strawberries, showering babies, slamball, the puritans who banned Christmas, leaving a school because you can't say its name and a polite night farter.

What could a ghost ship and a glass of beer possibly have in common? Listen to find out… Kirstyn has terrible taste and an addiction to Jeramie and Jeramie likes pickles and refuses to participate. We also both apparently had a childhood dream of being Egyptologists. This week, Kirstyn covers a robber too dumb to take a hint and Jeramie tells the tale of Ellen and Jane - two besties like ships in the night. Topics include: a tradie with a gun, ghost notes, gold, being peed on by babies and mirrored toilets. Also, a baker is involved to some degree but we're not quite sure how?

‘Why would you let them in?! That's sketchy AF!' We'll give you 3 letters as a hint: BEK… Jeramie wakes up in the middle of the night with urgent thoughts about tables and chairs and Kirstyn thinks rules are trash.  This week, Jeramie gets spooky ooky with his version of reading a book as his notes sharing some dramatic readings of encounters with an urban legend of the internet era and Kirstyn tells the tale of a badass warrior of a kid and a man just taking his 5L of petrol for a walk. Topics include: demon children, coffee names, Halloween candy canes, stealing matches from a personalised airbnb, ketchup on apples and hiding from trick-or-treaters.

Grow to be even more toxic. Kirstyn tries to name as many US states as she can and Jeramie's a scientist by association - he's going to be Mr. Dr. This week, Kirstyn does one of her theme dives and lists 10 disgraceful disguises actually used when committing a crime and Jeramie brings an end to the saga of Adelaide bullshit with the 2nd half of the Beaumont children case and how the 3 cases were connected. Topics include: the Daddy Krueger effect, lemon juice, a $21 cup of coffee, duct tape, a fetish for satin and a game of suffocate. Also, if your name is Stephen - look out, Kirstyn's coming for you.

We're back, besties! For our return, we've decided to pair one of Australia's biggest missing persons cases with… ANOTHER of Australia's biggest missing persons cases! We also basically covered the whole nation in one episode. Topics include: hiding in a kid's teepee, small town murder, tiles, what Sundays are for, Mr. Big, what kind of pie it was and a ‘psychic' croissant. Also, scissors aren't a stress toy.

Be a squatter, not an otter! Technical difficulties galore ft. Jeramie speaking to himself and Kirstyn's demonic microphone

'BANG BANG GIMME MONEY!' Kirstyn looks like a jellyfish and all roads lead to Bob's Burgers for Jeramie. This recording session was just a string of technical difficulties but we still kicked a home run in the slam dunk. This week, Kirstyn decided not to do a murder and just rob banks instead and Jeramie continues his saga of Adelaide bullshit with another kidnapping/disappearance. As usual, we get hung up on the wrong details of these cases and spend far too long trying to figure out the difference between a robbery and how to react when you see a cat in public. Topics include: stranger danger, coffee names, the roles we'd each play in a slasher flick and an exorbitant number of dogstumes. We will be taking a brief break for a couple weeks but don't miss us too much - we will be back.

Papa needs his juice... We're talking kidnappings in Australia this week - one is funny and weird and the other, just plain dark - try to pick who's case is which. Jeramie thinks your navel is on your neck and Kirstyn wants to get knocked tf out recreationally. 4 weeks of sadness, woohoo! Jeramie kicks of his 'saga of Adelaide bullshit' with the a string of serial murders and Kirstyn discusses a kidnapper who's only skill is pleading guilty. Topics include: Jeramie as a guide (both tour and meditative), undetermined leather boots, an assortment of sedatives, a very specific ransom and an utterly ridiculous one, bragging about how much of a failure you are and a satyr's hot friend.

Grab an arvo glass of red and join us for your monthly dose of pure nonsense. This month we talk about a brand new development in the Somerton Man case and Kirstyn is simultaneously an 80 year old woman and a literal 5 year old. Topics include: asparagus pee, dolphin's names, vabbing, the worst things people do in the Sims and a step by step guide Jeramie never asked for.

‘Murder is ok, sometimes.' Just when you thought we couldn't get any more chaotic… ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO MAYHEM CITY! Kirstyn sees popcorn when she closes her eyes and Jeramie hears trucks reversing in his hallway. This week, Kirstyn tells a horrific tale about a freezer and the demons inside it and Jeramie shares the story of a ghostly string of fires. Topics include: Salad Fingers, unpaid parking tickets, crossing the highway at night, a house's best friend and an expensive frozen Jack-o-Lantern. Also - NO BASKETBALL IN THE HALLWAYS!!!

Hold up… You're not Kirstyn! Kirstyn couldn't make it this week and Jeramie didn't want to fly solo - so our friend Lily stepped in for the day and helped shake things up. Jeramie tries something different and talks about a solved crime for once and Lily abducts his mind with talk of aliens. But, it's always 5 o'clock in Jeramie's living room! This week, Jeramie delves deeper into his love of handwriting and Lily reads a letter that screams ‘I'm a crazy person!' Topics include: the Tea Room, aliens appropriating the paranormal, a crime-solving kink, a BDSM session gone wrong, picking your nose too hard, ink beads, what your handwriting says about you and swaddling children in human skin. Also there's police officers who were also CIA operatives, bodyguards and abductors? Yeah, we're not sure either.

Is there a ghost in your phone or is there drugs in your drugs? This was deemed a lost episode but we managed to salvage it! Jeramie has a very specific escape plan in the event of a zombie apocalypse and Kirstyn's dog is chaos. This week, we both deeply relate to criminals and share some great jokes. This week, Jeramie just isn't buying the UFO theory and Kirstyn doesn't trust the stories he tells her anymore. Join us for some shallow dives into some interesting headlines, an exploration of islands on Google Maps and a dramatic reenactment. Topics include: Kirstyn's gun shop adventure, a committed bestie, eating your own underwear, Australia's Bermuda Oval, turning yourself in for a hundy, ‘Florida face' and whether or not insurance is porn.

Welcome to the first meeting for Squatters Anonymous: the new monthly bonus episode where two crackheads living rent free in your heads get together to unpack whatever the hell they've been hoarding. These episodes are unplanned and unedited (mostly) so your guess is as good as ours as to what on earth we will discuss. Talking points this month include: pinkeye, cannibalism, substitutes for lube and what not to use, folie a deux, giving syphilis and gonorrhea to your friends, identical twin crimes, heroic pets, replica human meat and cats doing cocaine. Have suggestions for talking points in future meetings? Send them through to rfimhpodcast@gmail.com or reach out to @rfimhpodcast on instagram or twitter

There's going to be a skeleton? Ok, now I'm keen! Kirstyn requires adult supervision around babies and Jeramie's stressing tf out about not being in control. This week's episode is a long one and a rough one as we discuss Australia's most prolific serial killers so we hope you're ready for that along with other important issues that we cover such as: the masturbate mass debate, how Emily the imperial system is and the fact that nobody really needs science. This week, Kirstyn talks about some parents who really just needed to buy a TV already and a man who does the bad A LOT before Jeramie suddenly goes up in flames and proves it's not a crime to be hot. Topics include: onions on the run, the ultimate party trick, a daughter-niece and flushing a loved one down the toilet.

JerBear does the bad and hurt Kirstyn feeling, Kirstyn does the bad and hurt JerBear feeling. - Kirstyn writing the show notes   Hope there's no corpses around because we swear a lot… Jeramie takes on a southern accent and Kirstyn gives her characters different voices. Join us as we ask the important questions like: Where can I tie my giraffe up? Should I bring my microwave? What if an alien gets in? How many viagra bad? This week, Jeramie tells the tale of a house caked in blood and Kirstyn reads a bedtime story with bad stuff. Topics include: the difference between Canada and Queensland, strange laws, privilege, Catfish, flat earthers and Kirstyn's looming revenge.

That's gonna get you jailed! Kirstyn was a nightmare child and Jeramie's a size-queen when it comes to TVs. This episode has a fun twist: a secret challenge. Jeramie's done something and Kirstyn is NOT happy with it, see if you can figure out what it is… Let us know how you go! This week, Kirstyn shares the tale of a friend's close call with a serial killer followed by a horrific tale of how not to prove your disinterest in someone and Jeramie abruptly changed his case yet again and discusses colour-coding your children. Topics include: the joys of retail, how annoying 16 year old girls are, chaotic organisation systems, whether or not there is a smart reason to murder, an array of postcards, post-murder arousal, an underground ferry system and a vampire cult. ‘That's yucky!' - Jeramie

Do it for the gays! Jeramie would love to be in a crisis and Kirstyn considers herself as a unit of measurement. Tune in for some important lessons such as: don't buy or sell people, murder bad and people are taller than dogs. This week, Jeramie confuses Japan and Scotland and discusses a questionable dog walking route and Kirstyn leans into her new slogan ‘It Gets Worse' and looks into some sketchy social work practices. Topics include: the evil Robin Hood, OnlyFans for dogs, legal kidnapping, time rifts, thin places and the top tourist destination for aliens.

Happy Pride! Time to capitalise on the queer community via ouija boards… Once we learn how to make them. Kirstyn celebrated a miraculously injury free birthday and Jeramie listens in on his neighbours and plays drinking games with seance rules. We're sober this week - welcome to your glimpse of the chaos that is our brains on the daily. Ravioli, come help us! This week, Kirstyn uses some cunning linguistic skills to discuss an interesting and unique poisoning method and Jeramie's full of hot takes such as whether or not what has a taste and what classes as a sanga. Topics include: the ‘magician exception', basement children, a flaming witch and a pasta seance.

Which window will we be looking through today? The one with an outrageous new fear you never knew you had on the other side, of course. Jeramie's displeased with Kirstyn: not only did she try to kill him, she also betrayed him in a dream. This week, Jeramie discovered the insanity that was 1940s newspapers and Kirstyn took the easy way out and read a children's book. Topics include the correct way to comment on a haircut, wacky town names, why you should never trust a William and a pungent shampoo you definitely hope you won't find at your next hair appointment.

'You are listening to Rent Free In My Hat.' Now, do the sexy thing. Kirstyn (once again) writes erotic gay fanfiction about historical figures and Jeramie's no longer allowed to organise scavenger hunts. This week, Kirstyn continues her tale from last week, sharing the pain of being the eldest child and not getting enough attention and Jeramie walks the plank of a ghostless ship. Topics include: what a queen's job is, the logistics of tree sex, accidental head removal and zombie Sherlock Holmes.

Hold the phone - especially if you're on it - let's make blasting our stories over the loudspeaker at pubs a thing, tho. We're going on an investigation and also a bunch of unexpected adventures. Jeramie Googles strange things and Kirstyn doesn't know what almonds (or cherries) smell like. This week, Jeramie will make you question the pills you take and give us all a new fear we didn't need and Kirstyn shares the first half of a two part tale reminding us why Stranger Danger is a thing. Also, Zoom failed us mid recording session and we had to learn how Skype worked. It was an experience. Topics include: the incorrect disposal of a cigarette, the ingredients of Coke and one elaborate and crazy ploy to avoid being drafted for war.

This episode has EVERYTHING. Fraud, arson, deception and kids going Manic! at the Disco. Kirstyn doesn't know how to make a cross and Jeramie apparently develops an accent when reading quotes. Take pity on us, we're just poor little Australians. This week, Kirstyn tells the tale of a foolish con woman and Jeramie shares the story of a silent duo with a lot to say. Topics include: how not to commit fraud, Barbie vs. Steven Universe, sisterly ‘love', a family recipe you don't want passed down and some very… intense writing about a fire.

We hope you brought the rails because we certainly went off them this week. Jeramie shares some strong opinions about goats and Kirstyn practically writes a queer romance/erotica novel set in Arthurian times. This week, Jeramie's case rocks and Kirstyn's is pretty toxic. Join us as we try a new way to record and both go back in time to discuss history - Kirstyn, an Australian case over a century old and Jeramie, a monument dating back over 5000 years. Topics include: the ‘wrong' kind of acid, mowing, questionable auction purchases and the world's longest newspaper article.

Look, neither of us actually remember recording this episode and it shows - all aboard, we're bound for Intoxication Station! Jeramie's face is apparently a website and Kirstyn has the memory of a goldfish. This week, Kirstyn introduces everyone's new favourite person just to kill them off and Jeramie's scared of a serial killer hiding in his home. It's our first recording session since going live and we're very excited about it and we promise the bug outside Kirstyn's window goes away within 10 minutes (sorry!). Topics include: how cool Germany is, spontaneous vocab lessons, a broken figurine and some misplaced heads.

Don't tell Scotty, but we're going on a Euro trip. Jeramie hoards olives like a goblin and Kirstyn is free to a good home - or any home, honestly. This week, Jeramie changes the game and tells a brutal tale while also butchering the Italian language (and others, oops…) and Kirstyn is weirdly proud of all the modes of transport she's peed on. Topics include: murderous sisters, olden day porn, eye gouging, the worth of a woman and a serial killer who's anti public sex.

Look, asking Jeramie to do math is about as good an idea as expecting Kirstyn to know geography. I'd advise against it. We're staying in Australia, so you better have your hats if you want to play. This week, Kirstyn talks (ever so briefly) about a very silly 'Goldie' boy on reality TV and Jeramie (who's a nightmare, by the way) gets really hung up on what is 'warm' and has a strong opinion on lino. Topics include: Bunnings snags, a war of undetermined temperature, a demon dog, an unidentified man on the beach and a pathetic snowman.

You came back! Jeramie deserves a birthday feast and Kirstyn has some opinions on shootings and koalas - it's a lot to unpack… Jeramie will probably blame the moon for that. This week, Kirstyn tortures Jeramie and drives him to drink heavily with the brutal story of a serial killer with a candy supply and a drunken Jeramie somehow finds a way to talk about history for an hour despite knowing nothing about it. Topics include: deadly dancing, crying over food, the patron saint of pooping and inappropriate medical practices.

Welcome to our birth! We're well aware we don't make a great first impression, but you'll grow to love us. Kirstyn can't spell avocado and Jeramie can't say potato (but Kirstyn can't pronounce half the names in her notes, so…) In our first episode, Jeramie talks about a missing person who's right where you left him (until he's not) and Kirstyn reveals the true cost of avocados - turns out, millennials get it pretty cheap in comparison. Topics include: the logistics of dismemberment, cartels, threatening avocados and the questionable advice Kirstyn gives to children.