Sex, Lies & The Truth

Zach did not have a good relationship with his father. So bad was it that Zach found himself fantasizing about having a new dad. Maybe that was some sort of intuition of what was to come when he finally took a commercial DNA test that proved there was a new beginning out there for him.

We have christened Lynne our first “crowded MPE”, there were that many people involved with her conception and cover up.  Lynne talks about her unusual origin story, struggles with identity and family dynamics.  And shares her one secret weapon to deal with the challenges.

Raised knowing he was adopted, Noah didn't know much about his ancestry, ethnicity or birth parents until a birthday present helped him put the pieces together, along with five siblings.

Tamara often felt she didn't fit in with her family, which looked different than most since she was raised by her grandparents. A DNA test proved why she felt different and triggered a series of discoveries that changed her life both for the best and worst. Tamara shows us what resilience in the face of adversity looks like and relies on a positive attitude to cope with her MPE discovery.

Ryan Anderson largely ignored his adoption until the pandemic forced him to face how poorly he had been dealing with it since he found out just before his 18 th birthday – what's called a Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA).  He jumped in with both feet, posting a video about his journey hoping it would help others living similar experiences and talks more specifically with us about the mental health impact.

Adoptions are part of the MPE universe, and set the stage for the non-paternal events to understand the process.  Jennifer had an intuition about her sense of not belonging in her family since she was quite young. What happens when your intuition turns out to be right? Turns out, you're no better prepared for the emotional fall out.

Cassandra Adams was raised Italian and Catholic and never expected to find anything surprising in her DNA test.  What she found profoundly changed the direction of her life and fabric of her family relationships, not to mention identity and religious practices.  Get to know her journey through the business of secrecy and the advocacy work of Cassandra Adams.

Christine learned of her NPE by mistake as a child, but the secret lay at the surface because her parents had a different secret to focus on: the swinging lifestyle. For Christine the discovery didn't just tell her she had a different father, she was also a different race.

Julie was raised in a nice Irish Catholic family and knew from an early age she was adopted.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, there's more to it than that, since our stories never end in the easy places.  

In a rare treat, we get to share an interview with a biological parent.  It's rare for many reasons, but this is special because it's Allie's biological mother (previous episode).  You'll get to hear another side of this amazing story, equally as elegant and heart-warming as Allie's story.

We can't wait for you to meet Allie.  Her episode is told through the eyes of the adoptee, and will linger in your memory the way only a good story can.  And stay tuned for the next episode, which includes an interview with her biological mother.  

When we last left Damon, he had just decided to search for his biological father.    He thought it would be as straight forward as finding Ann, but not much in the MPE, adoption world is straight forward.  Just how many DNA tests does one person have to take to find a parent anyway?

In this episode we meet Damon Davis, the former Director for the Health Data Initiative in the office of the Chief Technology Officer under the United States Department of Health & Human Services. Since holding that position, Damon has also added author and hosts the podcast Who Am I Really?, sharing adoption stories and attempts at reunion, like his own.  Damon's story of adoption was so impactful we decided to tell it in two parts.

Like many MPE’s Laura felt different, never quite feeling she fit into the family.  And that was just the beginning of a strange and difficult journey, leading to a heartwarming ending. Laura’s adoption story was not so much told to her as something she sought out for herself, using her intuition to search for clues and follow leads.  Starting with intense studying of her adoption paperwork, Laura astutely put together the facts on the forms didn’t make sense. And those early days spent studying in the closet ultimately paid off.

Da Rhonda shares her incredible story of a childhood as one of three children with parents who were closely biologically related and not able to be the parents they should have been, resulting in more than just an MPE.  Despite her struggles, Da Rhonda displays resilience and hope, a true inspiration. Episode warning: If you lived a chaotic and abusive childhood, this episode may be triggering or may be hard to hear.If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence in the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline advocates are available at 1-800-799-SAFE and through online chatting at www.TheHotline.org.If you or someone you know is interested in sharing their story on the show, contact us at sexliestruthpodcast@gmail.com.

At ten years old, Stacy found divorce paperwork that detailed the child support and some confusing NPE news regarding her sister.  Divorces would become familiar experiences for Stacy’s mom as Stacy would gain fathers and lose them until the final discovery in 2019.  Family for Stacy has been experienced between two extremes: “you’ll find out when I die” and “you would have been in our lives”. Stacy tells us about walking on eggshells with mom, being a peacekeeper and family mementos.You can support the podcast at:  www.patreon.com/sexliesandthetruth

Cory was the favorite in the family but always thought her stepfather was a bit odd.  Then, more oddities began appearing when Cory realized there no pictures of herself over a period of time, as if she didn’t exist.  She was taught not to trust her intuition, an important skill for a performer to be denied.  Learn about Cory’s journey to DNA discovery, with identity confusion, mental health consequences and secret photos of a strange man holding her at 9 mos old.  You’ll never look at LinkedIn the same.

Tiffany and the Artist:Fatherhood means many things, but usually not multiple men.  Tiffany grew up with the ghost of her assumed, beloved father who died when she was at a tender age.  Later adopted by a step-father, she grew to know the love a father until she discovered she was donor conceived.  Tiffany’s story is full of twists and surprises, including an explanation for her artistic skills.  Tiffany teaches us about rewriting ourselves, discovering family and finding the right answers.

Born from an affair, Dinah understands the hardship of the MPE journey. She knew perseverance from living with a genetic disability so when biological family wouldn’t respond to her, she had some resilience already in place. Dinah teaches us how to have self-compassion, how to overcome feeling stuck in negative thinking, how to recognize synchronicities and a great way to respond to biological family with a pie metaphor.

Donor conception gets a lot of press these days, particularly because of the prolific donations in the US resulting in tens, if not hundreds, of siblings in some cases.  Lindsay is one such donor conceived person, who inconceivably has decided she has unfair expectations of her donor, a mere nine months into the discovery.  Although, that wasn’t the first time she discovered she was donor conceived - she was 18 when mom first tried to tell her.  With the help of an amazing group of new biological siblings, Lindsay has adapted to her DNA discovery in impressive ways.If you or anyone you know is interested in sharing your DNA discovery, contact Jodi & Christina at sexliestruthpodcast@gmail.com.

Every so often we hear a story that puts our mouths agape, which is saying something considering the nature of our podcast. You may find this true when you hear how Brad learned of his adoption. Family secrets occur for many reasons and are met with a myriad of responses when an adoptee learns their story for the first time. And sometimes the shock just keeps coming. It certainly did for Brad, an active law enforcement officer, when he learned his biological father’s identity. Trust us. You want to hear this one. If you or anyone you know is interested in sharing your DNA discovery, contact Jodi & Christina at sexliestruthpodcast@gmail.com.

Jodi’s story and candid conversation with Christina continues in this second part to the series. Not one to talk about herself often, Jodi opens up about trust issues she never knew she had and the effects of the discovery on family dynamics that haunt her to this day. If you ever wondered how a therapist would handle upsetting family dynamics, this is your opportunity to compare what you would do. Equal parts heartwarming acceptance from new family, and estrangement from known family, Jodi’s story describes what’s possible along the journey and what’s wrong with family secrets. The effects of misattributed parentage (MPE), aka non-paternal event or not parent expected (NPE), is far reaching and long lasting. Jodi talks openly about the effects and the journey, lending a bit of the professional insight that helped her cope. Of course, there’s a country song in there somewhere. If you or someone you know would like to share their DNA discovery story, contact Jodi and Christina at sexliestruthpodcast@gmail.com. Get to know Christina’s work as a #dnasleuth at www.myhoodieproject.com and Jodi’s work with #parentalidentitydiscovery at www.jkrabb.com. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

In the Season 3 finale, we are pleased to present actor, comic, motivational speaker, author and NPE, Tom Dreesen. Tom began his career as one half of the first black and white comedy duo with Tim Reid, went on to hold roles on tv and film, hosted the Tonight Show in David Letterman’s absence and opened for some of the entertainment industry’s biggest names, including Frank Sinatra whom he developed a very close relationship with. Despite a long list of professional accolades, Tom’s proudest achievement is being awarded the prestigious Ellis Island Medal of Honor Award for humanitarian service to his country, because of the connection it represented to his father. A celebrated comic, Tom has a special way of telling a story; we’ve never heard an NPE story told quite this way before. Hear how Tom learned who his father was, who knew, and the promise he made to his mother. You’ll be inspired by a funny, charismatic man Frank Sinatra said “is a brilliant comedian and a master, Master of ceremonies.” You can find his new book Still Standing: My Journey from Streets and Saloons to the Stage and Sinatra everywhere books are sold. Look for Season 4 in late 2020. In the meantime, if you, or someone you know would like to be featured on an episode, contact Jodi and Christina at www.sexliesandthetruth.com. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Eve Sturges is a therapist who was minding her own business until a life-changing message found its way to her, making her an NPE. She talks about resilience, synchronicity, the inevitability of life-changing news, and the repairs she made with her parents. Learn more about Eve’s LA-based therapy practice at www.evesturges.la and her podcast Everything’s Relative where you listen to podcasts. Do you, or someone you know, want to be featured on an episode of Sex, Lies & the Truth? Get in touch with us at www.sexliesandthetruth.com and learn more about Jodi and Christina. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Richard always had a hunch he was not his father's son. This is the story of the ultimate discovery based on intuition and the changes in identity and family dynamics that result. Get to know Richard and his family and how he's dealt with this life changing revelation. If you, or someone you know, would like to be featured on the podcast contact Jodi or Christina at www.sexliesandthetruth.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

As a co-host of the podcast, Jodi has given snippets of her NPE experience alongside the guests, and in the episode with her brother Sean in season one.  In this first installment of a multi-part series, we take a deep dive into Jodi's story of TWO NPE revelations with three dads, and how Christina guided her through the process.  Jodi speaks candidly about family dynamics and emotional turmoil, giving you a peak behind the curtain, if you will. Jodi merged the personal experience of being an NPE with her expertise as a Marriage & Family Therapist to pioneer the first, and only, treatment protocol dedicated to the DNA discovery population, Parental Identity Discovery™, a curriculum she teaches in addition to using in her clinical work with patients.  Read more about Jodi on her website www.jkrabb.com Learn about Christina's work on her website www.myhoodieproject.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Libby Copeland writes extensively about the NPE experience in her new book The Lost Family. Have questions about the origins of the various commercial DNA testing companies? She's got the answers. Wonder how the discovery of falsified parentage will affect society? Libby's on it. This isn't your typical Sex, Lies and The Truth episode. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Christina and Jodi are back with a new format after a long, unexpected hiatus.  Sometimes life gets in the way, which no one understands better than someone who discovered a surprise DNA revelation, like an NPE.   Alecia was a woman minding her own business, rehabbing after a significant medical surgery, when she discovered she wasn't the daughter of the man who raised her.  The search for her father took some twists and turns, involved rejection, misdirection and eventually a sense of family with newly found second cousin, Janet.  Ultimately, Alecia turned this experience into a passion for helping others in her position and is a partner in spearheading the Right to Know, an organization devoted to helping craft legislation for those in the NPE, donor conception and adoption worlds to know where their genetic identity comes from. Get to Know Alecia's work at www.rightoknow.us. Sex, Lies and the Truth is written and published by Christina Bryan Fitzgibbons and Jodi Klugman-Rabb, LMFT.  Visit www.sexliesandthetruth.com to learn more or to contact the hosts and please leave a 5-star review! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We promised a sequel to Katie and Joe From the Shore and here it is!  In this episode, you will learn if Joe is really Katie's father, the fall out with her mom and the lasting impact the discovery has made for Katie - hint - grief isn't just for those who lost someone through death. Be sure to listen to the end for another surprise, this time about Katie herself. We love surprises, now that our own DNA surprises are out of the way! Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com.

Our second episode of season two is a fascinating story told by author and NPE, BK.  BK is far along in her process of discovering family and identity so tells her story with a soothing calm to make you feel your mind was just massaged. Learn about tenacity, gambling, the importance of the Social Security Administration and what happens when the other shoe drops.  If you believe in the paranormal we have an added bit at the end just for you. BK writes as well as she speaks so you'll love her recent article for the Huffington Post.  She has also just launched the digital Severance Magazine devoted to the NPE community, with a little interview featuring our own Jodi Klugman-Rabb. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com

It’s all in the family with episode 1 of season 2. Karen shares her story of NPE discovery – discovering she Jewish while traveling on a train in Europe, what it was like engaging mom in the truth, and learning about her biological father from three new brothers. One of those brothers shares his discovery of Karen and how he and his siblings found a stronger bond amongst themselves from finding her.  Karen’s cousin also shares the perspective of the new family being contacted, with advice on how to approach it if you’re the family being contacted.  This is an encouraging tale of family listening and embracing new members. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com  www.sexliesandthetruth.com    

Jodi calls it intuition, adoption work refers to it as the inalienable bond of biology.  The undeniable but perplexing instinct that we don't fit in seems to play a big role in many Parental Identifier/NPE experiences.  Sky Nelson-Isaacs, physicist and musician, explains his theory on synchronicity and flow and how it relates to healing the pain of disconnection and grief - central characteristics of discovering misled and falsified parentage. Fresh off the release of his new book, Living in Flow: The Science of Synchronicity and How Your Choices Shape Your World, we interview Sky on how his work relates to the NPE experience and explains the seemingly random events that lead to our discoveries.  You'll learn about the importance of the apple tree, the use of metaphor and the LORRAX - not the Dr. Seuss kind. A special musical bonus at the end  - we play out the podcast with Sky's original song, Stand for Me, that feels like it was written specifically for the Parental Identity Discovery™ community. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com See photos and family trees of guests at www.sexliesandthetruth.com Reach Sky at www.facebook.com/skynelsonisaacs/ and www.livinginflowbook.com 

Most people freak out when they discover DNA revelations like your parent really isn't your biological parent.  Catherine did that too, but transitioned that feeling into an online support community for Not Parent Expected (what I call Parental Identity Discovery™) called DNA NPE Gateway on Facebook.  It has received a ton of national media attention ranging from articles in the Atlantic to appearances on Dr. Oz, CBS This Morning and The Today Show, to name a few. Catherine joins the podcast to discuss the personal impact of Parental Identity Discovery™ and the real reason people take the chance to reach out and connect with newly discovered biological family. She takes us through the groups plans to expand their legal influence and makes a great plug for therapy. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com  Find Catherine's group at DNA NPE Gateway.  Admittance is granted upon answering a few questions to verify NPE status.  

Join the wild and funny ride as we learn from Aaryn the surprising benefits of scouring through phone books to find her biological father.  Aaryn has a rich history spanning intergenerational custody, foster care and biological family that will warm your heart.  We know not all family relationships are sunshine and roses, but the relationship Aaryn has with her newly discovered biological sister, Jen, is everything you want it to be.  If this one doesn't get you wanting to research more of your ancestry, you have no heart. See pictures of our interviews and family trees on the podcast webpage www.sexliesandthetruth.com. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com  

Jodi discovered her own DNA story in 2017, when she met her older brother, Sean. In this episode Sean talks with the dynamic duo over the phone about the impact of discovering hidden family on the kids and spouses as well as finding his secret sister. Jodi and Sean's story is a happy one, where everyone feels better for having met one another and is nurturing a strong bond.  It's unusual in that happy ending, but every happy ending comes with some struggle. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com.  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com.   

Anthony discovers he's Christina's cousin and wins the genealogy jackpot when she tracks down his biological parents.  Anthony talks about the outcome of a night on the river, what it feels like to be a secret, and being adopted.  Finding biological parents isn't always sunshine and roses; being in reunion is tricky business for some people - especially when they're not honest about the facts. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com   

Katie is a fellow psychotherapist like Jodi and is navigating the strange and upsetting territory of misled paternity.  Katie describes a nagging sense she didn't fit in with her birth certificate father's family, the tragic response her mother's family had to the DNA revelation and a shocker you won't want to miss. If you're struggling with rejection and manipulation from family, this episode is for you. This is our first remote interview so Katie's audio quality is different than Jodi and Christina. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com 

Meet AJ, an adoptee who survived a heart attack and used it as motivation to find the biological family he always wondered about. He'll explain the process of balancing the known/adoptive family while searching for and meeting the biological family and the amazing outcome.  Learn more about AJ's work to help adoptees and support heart health at www.adrianjones.me Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com   

Join hip psychotherapist Jodi Klugman-Rabb, LMFT and Investigative Genealogist Christina Fitzgibbons in their inaugural episode as they explore Jonathon's story of discovering he's the father of a 30 year old woman. Commercial DNA tests reveal falsified, misled or hidden parentage with more frequency; Jonathon's story is from the unique persepctive of the parent learning the truth. From sex, to the lie and the eventual truth we explore what makes Non-Parental Events (NPE) or Parental Identity Discovery™. Learn more about Jodi's work with fellow NPE and Parental Identity Discovery™ at www.jkrabb.com or www.parentalidentitydiscovery.com  Learn about how Christina works to find your family at www.myhoodieproject.com