The Marriage To The Max Podcast

We all played the "Hide and Seek" game as kids.  Some of us still play it as adults; but not the same way.  We hide in marriage.  It's called self-protection and it shows up in all of us in different ways and for different reasons.  Listen to today's episode with Kellie and Brett Hurst to see if you're hiding - and how you can be found.

We all have our immature moments.  They can show up regularly when we're arguing with our partner.  However, if you find yourself saying certain phrases repeatedly, you may want to listen to today's conversation with Kellie and Brett Hurst.  A pattern of particularly immature reactions can play havoc with your relationship.  Learn what responses to look for, and why you may need to mature up.

“It's not my fault!” … Have you ever uttered those words during a fight with your partner?  We all have.  But can something be your responsibility even if it wasn't your fault?  Are intentions the only litmus test to gauge responsibility?  Tune in to today's conversation with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they attempt to dissect this topic.

Is gratitude something we need to actually do?  Or is it enough to simply have an attitude of gratitude?  Listen in on today's conversation with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they discuss how to up your gratitude game, and how it will absolutely improve your marriage.

Many things shape who we become as adults.  How we were raised, our life experiences, our natural personality types, our enneagram type, etc.  But what about our birth order?  Could our place in our family of origin really affect how we show up in life?  In marriage?  Listen to today's episode between Kellie Hurst and Dr. Robert V.V. Hurst (no relation) as they talk about a unique understanding of how birth order plays a large role in how we behave in life and in love.

Help … my marriage is boring!  This was the title of a recent article that caught my attention.  How many of us find ourselves stuck in a boring rut with our partner?  Is it normal?  Does it mean something is wrong?  Take a few moments to listen in to today's episode.  It might spark your creativity!

Continuing the conversation about conflict patterns, Kellie and Brett Hurst share information about how our unhealthy conflict patterns can erode our relationship over time.  Do you resonate with any of these patterns?  If so, what are you willing to do differently to change the dance?

Every couple has patterns they need to identify.  Communication patterns, affection patterns, etc.  Conflict patterns are no different, and perhaps even more important to identify.  Tune in to today's conversation with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they lay out some common conflict patterns that may help you to think about doing things differently.

Marriage research tells us that grand gestures don't do much to move the needle in relationships.  It truly is the “little things” done consistently over time that does the trick.  Want to know the most appreciated tiny gestures for both men and women?  Listen to today's episode with Kellie and Brett Hurst to discover a few simple things that communicate deep love.

In this thought-provoking episode, Kellie and Brett Hurst discuss the topic that our marriages have influence.  This isn't really a debatable idea.  It's a fact that our marriages influence others.  However, can your marriage influence others for good?  Even having a transcendent imprint?  Listen in to today's conversation to ponder whether your marriage is a city on a hill … or a pile of rubble.

Wherever your treasure is, there will your heart be also.  These are prophetic words from the holy Scriptures.  You could also insert “where your time is spent” and it would still work.  That's what today's episode is all about.  Your money and your time … how you spend them says a lot about what you truly prioritize.  Listen in as Kellie Hurst talks about how to use these types of currency to curate a more balanced life.

There's a comfort in marriage.  A familiarity … a protective cocoon … the known quantity that most of us seek; making us feel secure and known.  It's wonderful.  But we also crave novelty and surprise.  Listen in on today's conversation as Kellie and Brett Hurst discuss how to keep the mystery alive in the midst of the mundane.

As humans, we're wired for connection.  However, we don't always recognize when our partner is trying to connect with us.  Today's conversation helps us identify when our spouse is trying to connect with us – and how our response can make or break that request.

Are there phrases you regret saying and wish you could take back?  We've all been there.  However, therapists suggest there are several phrases that are not only unhelpful during an argument; they can also derail what could be a productive conversation.  Take a few minutes and tune in to today's episode with Kellie and Brett Hurst of Home Encouragement to discover which phrases to avoid.

Is forgiveness the same thing as acceptance?  And if they're different … where does one end and the other begin?  In today's conversation, Kellie and Brett Hurst discuss when each of these elements is necessary in marriage – and when it's not.

Married couples fight over silly things all the time.  But are they really so silly?  Maybe the silly things are the tip of a bigger iceberg that needs to be talked out.  Join Kellie and Brett Hurst as they talk about the bigger reasons we fight, and what we can do about it.

There are many good marriage books out there, but sometimes one rises to the top, so we have to recommend it.  Tune in to today's episode to see which marriage book Kellie and Brett Hurst are discussing.

Are you best friends with your spouse?  Heck, are you even friends with him/her?  Listen in on today's conversation with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they discuss why being friends with your spouse is crucial to a good marriage.

Sometimes we realize we've made a wrong turn.  We find ourselves in a sketchy area that is clearly not our intended destination.  No, I'm not talking about driving.  I'm talking about fighting in marriage.  Need some relational GPS tips?  Listen to today's episode with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they discuss a secret weapon that can get you back home safe and sound.

You may think marriage research doesn't sound very sexy or even interesting.  But what if the data could actually improve your marriage and make you happier?  Listen to today's episode as Kellie Hurst unpacks some important stats that could have a real impact on your life.

Sometimes our financial lives can get tense because of stupid things we do.  Other times it's out of our hands.  How do we take care of ourselves when that happens?  Listen to today's episode and hear how Kellie Hurst breaks down ways to pay off debt while treating each other right.

Do you feel like your marriage may be in trouble, but not sure exactly why?  Tune in to this episode to hear a list of some things that may help crystallize your situation.  And if your marriage is healthy and happy, listen in to discover some relationship signs to look out for.  

Today's episode includes questions from listeners.  Listen in to see if one of the answers encourages you and your spouse.  

In our last episode, we spent time talking to "low desire" partners.  In this episode, we pick up where we left off by talking to "high desire" partners.  We hope you and your mate will feel encouraged to better negotiate your desire differences moving forward.  

Wouldn't it be nice if the sexual part of your marriage relationship worked like clockwork?  With both partners getting exactly what they needed when they needed it?  The truth is ... no matter how long you've been married, most of us continue to negotiate and navigate this tricky area.  But take heart!  Today's conversation may help.  Join Kellie and Brett Hurst as they discuss some recent insights around the differences between the low desire spouse and the high desire spouse.    

Sometimes a simple phrase can turn things around in a big way.  We've been encouraging couples to ask, "What's our win?".  Another way of thinking about it is to ask what's REALLY important in a situation.  We can often find a new way forward when we re-frame things in this way.  Join Kellie and Brett Hurst of Home Encouragement as they quickly unpack why this is a winning tool in marriage.  

Every married couple can fall into traps that bring about stagnation - even seasoned couples!  We recently led a discussion with a group of married couples who've been together for 20+ years.  They wanted to know what we see in our work with couples that they could guard against.  We say it all the time ... "we never arrive in marriage - we should always stay curious and keep learning".  That's what today's episode is about.  Tune in to hear Kellie and Brett Hurst as they discuss mistakes even seasoned couples can make.  

Are you too busy to make time for your marriage?  We hear this complaint from couples all the time.  However, the hard truth is ... you have more control over your schedule than you may realize.  Tune in to Part 2 of "Too Much Busyness" with Kellie and Brett Hurst and see if you can find inspiration to carve out a little more time in your life.  Not just for your marriage, but for yourself.

Are you satisfied with the level of busyness you're experiencing? Are you too busy? And if so, how is that impacting your marriage relationship? Listen in on today's conversation with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they discuss how "too much busyness" can lead to "too sad of a marriage".

If you've been in a relationship for more than... say... an hour... you know that sometimes you have to have hard conversations. They're tough. However, you also have to have REALLY hard conversations. What's the difference? Tune in today as Kellie and Brett Hurst parse out the difference. Maybe you can gain a tool or two for your next REALLY hard conversation!

Routines are part of life... even married life.  But how do we keep routines from becoming stale and turning into a rut? Join Kellie and Brett Hurst today as they discuss keeping things fresh in your marriage.

The "empty nest" phase is a bittersweet season, but it doesn't have to be scary.  Many couples worry that after twenty years (or so) of raising children together, they may have forgotten how to be "husband and wife" together.  Never fear ... the Hursts are here!  Listen in on today's conversation as Kellie and Brett talk about the ups and downs of married life after the kids are "off the payroll". 

Everyone likes surprises! Actually, that's not true. Not everyone likes surprises. And unpleasant surprises can be downright challenging. In today's show, Kellie and Brett Hurst discuss a great article by Dave Harvey that lays out some very real surprises in our marriage relationships. They're not always fun... but they're pretty significant. Listen in and see if any of these marriage surprises resonate with you.

Is there a difference between hearing and listening?  How subtle is the difference?  Does it really matter?  Well, if you're the person who's not being listened to ... yeah, it matters.  Listening is an art as well as a skill.  But it's something we all can and should improve on.  If you'd like some tips on how to up your listening game, listen in to today's conversation with Kellie and Brett Hurst.  You might HEAR something you can really use!

The Go-Giver Marriage is a brand new book by co-authors (and married couple) Ana Gabriel Mann and John David Mann.  It combines a story narrative with practical tools for a rich book with tried and true relationship tools.  You will enjoy this interview as Kellie Hurst asks them about the book, and the important work they do on behalf of marriages.  It's a good one!

Every married couple argues. There's no way around it. Today the Hursts get real and unpack a recent fight they had at the most inopportune time - on the way to church. We've all been there, right? We paste on our "Sunday smiles" even while we're seething in silence. This conversation may help you know that you're not alone. Or it may just be a light-hearted therapy session for Kellie and Brett. You be the judge.   

Talking about money is difficult.  Talking about money in a marriage can be even more challenging.  Well, today's episode is perfect for kicking off the new year right.  Kellie Hurst of Home Encouragement interviews Megan and Taylor Kovar (aka "The Money Couple") about how to have those difficult money conversations without melting down.  Enjoy!

When we think of building trust, we may not consider all the tiny facets involved in constructing such a fortress.  However, Kellie Hurst discusses in today's episode how it's all about the little things. Enjoy!

How important is laughter in your relationships? In marriage, it seems to be of grave significance. We are getting serious today about laughter, and to help us laugh our way through the conversation are our very special guests, David and Melissa Radke. If you don't know who they are, you should. Tune in today with Kellie Hurst as she leads a fun conversation about why we all need to be laughing our way to a happier marriage!

We should all have contempt for contempt when it comes to our marriage relationships. Contempt is the most toxic element in a marriage. So, how do we keep it from creeping in? Listen in to today's episode with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they discuss the simple formula to keep contempt from killing a marriage.

Friendships are important whether you're married or single.  But friend relationships outside of your marriage are significant for your mental and physical health.  Tune in today as Kellie and Brett Hurst discuss the importance of cultivating good friendships other than your spouse.

We love a good marriage quote.  Especially ones that make us think deeply about the complexities of relationships.  Today we have some good ones. Listen in as Kellie and Brett Hurst react to a few poignant passages.  Enjoy!

Occasionally, we collect comments and questions from our tribe and bring them to a podcast episode.  That's what today is.  Enjoy these random tidbits as Kellie and Brett Hurst discuss different ways to take your marriage to the next level!

It's pretty easy to keep secrets in relationships.  The arena of money is a tempting area to be less than honest.  But if we want healthy relationships, we have to have integrity in all areas.  Listen to today's episode as Kellie and Brett Hurst discuss the idea of being unfaithful ... with money.

The way you relate to money has a significant impact on your marriage relationship.  Some say you even have a personality style in the way you think about and manage money.  Today Kellie and Brett Hurst talk about some of these money personality styles and how identifying them can help you and your partner have those uncomfortable conversations about your finances.  Enjoy!

"Turn Turn Turn" isn't just a song from the sixties.  It's also shorthand for today's topic, and how we can build in connection and good will in our marriage relationships.  Tune in with Kellie and Brett Hurst to see what it's all about.  It's not just for The Byrds.  ;)

We all have about 112 waking hours in a given week.  Don't you think 5 of those hours could be spent investing deposits into your marriage?  Kellie and Brett Hurst talk about how to do just that in today's episode.  Enjoy!  

Do you and your spouse disagree on politics?  Is it a struggle to have a political discussion without inciting a meltdown?  We know it can be hard, but it doesn't have to be impossible.  Join Kellie and Brett Hurst of Home Encouragement for a frank discussion on how to agree to disagree respectfully.

The whole "soulmate" idea sounds romantic, doesn't it?  The idea of one person truly belonging to another person ... fitting together perfectly like two pieces of a cosmic puzzle?  But can it set us up for disappointment?  Listen in as Kellie and Brett Hurst of Home Encouragement discuss the pitfalls of the "soulmate" model of marriage.

Is it possible to emerge stronger after a difficult season?  Like, say, after a global pandemic?  How will married couples fare after such a season of uncertainty?  Listen in to today's episode as Kellie and Brett Hurst of Home Encouragement discuss the possibilities of not only surviving a pandemic, but thriving.

A business meeting may not sound very sexy, but what if it brought you and your partner closer to each other?  It can! Listen in with Kellie and Brett Hurst as they talk about how to make a regular, brief meeting something special.