Wake Up or Break Up!

In the final installment of this 3 part series, I sit down with Marcel and Alicia to get the low down on how they repaired their marriage and learned more about themselves in the process.  Forgiveness after infidelity may not work for every relationship, but for this couple,  it brought them closer together. Out of respect for his marriage, Marcel is no longer on social media, but you can follow Alicia on Instagram: @alicia_maria83You can also find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: wakeupyourpassion.comEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR 

In part 2 of our unexpected 3 part series, Marcel shares his perspective on how love and loyalty drifted to infidelity and regret.  Marcel candidly describes the contributing factors that led him to cheat, as well as the drastic yet necessary measures he took to keep his marriage together (and thriving). In part 3, I sit down with Marcel and Alicia to get the real deal of how they repaired their marriage and if their love is still going strong today. I hope you stay tuned for  part 3!Out of respect for his marriage, Marcel is no longer on social media. You can contact Alicia on Instagram: @alicia_maria83You can also find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: flow.page/wakeupelsieEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR 

I strongly believe, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and the same can be said for my beautiful guest Alicia.  She is a mom of 3 teenagers, overcame infidelity after 18 years of marriage, and is a breast cancer survivor.  In part 1 of this unexpected 3 part series, Alicia shares her journey of falling in love, motherhood, cancer, and forgiveness after infidelity. In part 2, we'll hear her husband's side of the story. And in part 3, I'll sit down with the both of them and get the real deal of how they kept their marriage together. Their story is beyond powerful! I hope you tune in to all 3 parts! You can contact Alicia...On Instagram: @alicia_maria83You can also find me...On Instagram, Clubhouse, Tiktok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: flow.page/wakeupelsieEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR 

In this episode I talk with Tamisha, a podcaster, singer/songwriter, spiritual coach,  entrepreneur, and Vibe Queen! Tamisha shares her story of separation, self-discovery, spiritual awakening.  I was incredibly honored to have Tamisha share her story for the first time on my podcast.   If you're on a spiritual journey, or if you're feeling lost after after infidelity and separation, this is a great episode for you!You can contact Tamisha...On Instagram: @vibequeenmusic and @vibetalkawakenHer Website:  www.vibequeenmusic.comOr Her Coaching Page: www.bit.ly/MAPconsultationYou can also find me...On Instagram, Clubhouse, Tiktok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: flow.page/wakeupelsieEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR 

In this episode I talk with Katharine, a blogger, social media influencer, and married mom of two.  Katharine shares how she discovered her husband's infidelity shortly  after the birth of their first child, and two days after their 1 year wedding anniversary.  Katharine's story of family obligation, transparency,  post-partum depression, and acceptance is truly inspiring. I hope you take a moment to listen to her story. You can follow Katharine's  journey...On Instagram/Clubhouse/all Social Media: @thebearessBlog: thebearess.comYou can also find me...On Instagram/Clubhouse/ TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comMusic Produced by Deshawn Sinclair

Last week I was blessed with the opportunity to share my story of love, betrayal, forgiveness, and growth on Full Circle Radio with Ms. Wanda. She is such an amazing human and friend, and she's passionate about lifting women up through her podcast and radio show. Download episodes of Ms. Wanda's Full Circle Radio wherever you listen to podcasts, or check out Full Circle Radio LIVE every Saturday on 97.5fm (Sacramento).  You can also follow Ms. Wanda on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/full_circle97.5/You can also find me...On Instagram, Clubhouse, and TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

In this episode I talk with Tracy, a married mom of four.  Tracy shares her story of emotional betrayal after 15 years with her husband. Tracy sheds light on the multiple layers of betrayal and forgiveness. Cheating is not black and white, and what you choose to do after cheating is completely up to you.   Tracy's story of marriage, trust, and healing is truly powerful. I hope you're inspired by her honest perspective!   You can follow Tracy's  journey...On Instagram: @infidelityandhealingYou can also find me...On Instagram, Clubhouse, and TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comMusic Produced by Deshawn Sinclair

In this episode I talk with Elizabeth, a single mom from Little Rock, Arkansas.  Elizabeth explains how her experiences with infidelity drove her to work on herself, put her needs and wants first, and strengthen her ability to talk candidly about her failed relationships.  Elizabeth's story is one of love, betrayal, confusion, and reinvention. I hope you're inspired by her honest perspective!   You can follow Elizabeth's  journey...On Instagram: @lizzy_beeeYou can also find me...On Instagram, Clubhouse, and TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comMusic Produced by Deshawn Sinclair

In this episode I speak with Chloe, a wife and mother who uncovers her husband's acts of infidelity one month into their marriage. Chloe shares how professional counseling and the support of their family, gave her and her husband the strength they needed to stay together. Her love story is far from perfect, but her and her husband are committed to creating their own version of happily ever after. Follow Chloe's Journey: On Instagram: @chloexxwilliamsYou can also find me...On Instagram or TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"On Clubhouse: @elsieboboMy Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR

It's been a year since Joe cheated.  Here's an update of my life since we last talked.  New job...new perspective...new opportunities! Let's Connect and Collaborate...Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wakeupelsie/Clubhouse: Elsie Bobo @wakeupelsieCoaching: https://www.wakeupyourpassion.com/Music Produced By: Deshawn Sinclair

It's just you and I today! I want to invite you to see things a little differently. To guard your heart, open your mind, and welcome a new way of thinking. What if we defined cheating differently? Not normalizing it, not excusing it, just changing our interpretation of it. What if we stopped blaming ourselves and refused to take cheating personally?  What if we changed the language? Instead of saying THEY cheated on ME...switching it to THEY cheated on THEMSELVES.We're not changing the act of cheating. We're not trying to make it better or worse. We're simply giving ourselves power in the interpretation. By taking away our personal attachment to the act, we're able to look at the situation more objectively. Cheating has MORE to do with THEM and LESS to do with YOU!You can find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"On Clubhouse: @elsieboboOr my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR

In this episode I talk with my dear friend Sedalia.  She is a mother of 6, a fitness lover, and a survivor of a brain aneurysm! After Joe and I broke up, Sedalia was the first person to share her story of infidelity and forgiveness with me. She was a listening ear whenever I needed to vent, she offered me advice with no judgement or criticism, and she answered so many of my random questions. Before I heard Sedalia's story, I thought a strong woman would leave her husband (no questions asked) if he ever cheated. I thought it was weak to stay. She showed me the power of forgiveness and second chances only if the person who cheated was willing to own their actions and change their ways. Sedalia is a force to be reckoned with! You can follow Sedalia's  journey...On Instagram: @perfectonelifeYou can also find me...On Instagram or TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"On Clubhouse: @elsieboboOr my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR

In this episode I talk with Lauren, a podcaster, mindset coach, and entrepreneur on the rise! Lauren shares her unique story of finding love, asking for an open relationship, falling in love with someone else, and then marrying the man of her dreams.  Her experience is far from traditional, but that is what makes it powerful.  If you're looking for a modern alternative to the typical relationship, this episode is a must listen! You can follow Lauren's journey...On Instagram: @laurenmkeplerHer Podcast: https://laurenkepler.podbean.com/Or Her Coaching Page: https://www.laurenkepler.com/You can also find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR

In this episode I talk with Simon Ravona, a trained mediator, lawyer, negotiator, and divorce coach. Simon helps clients (including myself) manage the realities of relationships, break ups, and divorce by creating a life of purpose and meaning. For today's conversation, Simon and I talk about the top reasons for couples to break up, the differences between coaching and therapy, what keeps couples together, and his top tips for making relationships work.  If you are in a relationship, thinking about divorce, or plan on dating in the near future, this episode is a must listen! You can find Simon...On Instagram: @Divorce_WisdomBy Email: simon@catalyticcoaching.coOr his Coaching Page: www.catalyticcoaching.coYou can also find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

In this episode, I talk with Mary, a former bikini competitor, grandmother of 2,  and one of my dearest friends.  Mary explains how the loss of her unborn son resulted in infidelity and divorce from her husband of 5 years (15 years together). She also shares her uncharacteristic method of coping, and what she wishes she would have done differently. Mary's story is one of heartbreak, loss, and reinvention. I hope you're inspired by her journey!   You can follow Mary's  journey...On Instagram: @fab_over_50_mcYou can also find me...On Instagram or TikTok: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

In this episode, I talk with the brilliant Japji, an interdisciplinary qualitative researcher, a playful yogi, a poet, a dancefloor mama, a mom of two, and a Ph.D!  Japji shares her powerful story of allowance, betrayal, and finding the strength to leave an unhealthy relationship with her two young sons. She also opens up about learning to trust again with someone new. You can follow Japji's journey...On Instagram: @wordmamawordOr Coaching Page: www.flourishwellbeingsass.comYou can also find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR

I didn't think we'd make it to this day. I didn't think we'd have anything to celebrate. I didn't think we'd still be married. Our story is far from perfect. Joe and I are a tragic example of what happens when two people become disconnected and fall apart. We're also proof of what's possible when two people focus on reconnecting, communicating, and becoming more present. This year wasn't our best...but we're still here...together. Cheers to many more years of figuring out life and love.  Follow my Journey...Instagram: @wakeupelsie and @wakeuporbreakupYouTube: www.youtube.com/wakeuporbreakupCoaching: www.wakeupyourpassion.comMusic Produced By: Deshawn Sinclair

In this episode, I talk with Ashley, a mother of 6 and mompreneur on the rise.  Ashley explains  how her experience with young love and betrayal helped her redefine her idea of "happily ever after." Ashley also shares how trusting God's timing for her life helped her heal her wounded heart and find love again.  If you're looking for inspiration or clarity in your personal love life, this episode is a must listen! You can follow Ashley's journey...On Instagram: @ashleys_point_of_viewHer Mommy Squad IG: @conqueringmotherhood2getherOr on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCESCpyTKR5nhzxYCESM3s7AYou can also find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comEPISODE MUSIC PRODUCED BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR

In this episode, I talk with my dear friend Destiny about her on again off again love story with the father of her daughter.  She shares how his initial acts of cheating and dishonesty led to her engaging in her own acts of infidelity. She's not proud of the direction her relationship took, but she OWNS and ACCEPTS what happened between them as a necessary part of their love story and personal growth.  Destiny is a mother of one, a podcast host, a master waxer, entrepreneur, and body positivity BOSS BABE!  You can follow her on instagram @destinedtoinspire or check out her business @the_smoothsecret, and listen to her podcast on Spotify "Taboo Talks with Destiny"!You can also find me...On Instagram: @wakeupelsieOn Youtube: "Wake Up or Break Up"Or my Coaching Page: www.wakeupyourpassion.comMUSIC BY: DESHAWN SINCLAIR

Prior to getting cheated on, I thought I only had ONE OPTION if someone ever cheated on me,  and that was divorce.  After reading the stories of strangers and friends who had been cheated on, I quickly realized there were multiple possibilities.  There were stories of making things work,  walking away, seeking revenge,  and starting over.  Although the circumstances were similar, the end results were different. There was no rhyme or reason to why people chose what they did. They simply chose what they thought was best.  For Season 2, and maybe for the entirety of this podcast,  I want to normalize the concept of possibility and choice for life after infidelity.  Whether someone decides to stay, walk away, find someone new, or swear off relationships forever,  I want to celebrate the power of the journey and not just the outcome. If you have a powerful story of infidelity or know of someone who does, please email me at wakeupelsie@gmail.com. I'd love to have you on a future podcast! And please know, these interviews are totally open to people who were cheated on, who did the cheating, or someone who was involved as the "other person." I want to represent the full spectrum of the human perspective. I hope you'll follow my personal journey on Instagram at @wakeupelsie and check out my coaching page at www.wakeupyourpassion.com.Cheers to a Season of New Beginnings!

It's not easy talking about the past...especially when it involves hurting someone you love. Here's part 2 of my question and answer session with Joe.Follow our Journey...Instagram: @wakeupelsie, @giant_asianYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/wakeuporbreakupCoaching: https://www.wakeupyourpassion.com/

It's not easy talking about the past...especially when it involves hurting someone you love. On today's episode, Joe opens up about how we met, what pushed him to cheat, and why he wants to stay together. Follow our Journey...Instagram: @wakeupelsie, @giant_asianYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/wakeuporbreakupCoaching: https://www.wakeupyourpassion.com/

Telling the truth is hard. We don't want to admit we messed up. We don't want to be embarrassed. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings. We don't want to get uncomfortable. We don't want to be honest.  Our inability to embrace truth is holding us back from becoming our true authentic selves. We need to do better. We need to be better. Stay tuned for Episode 8 where Joe and I get open and honest with life after infidelity. Special Shoutout to Deshawn Sinclair for the amazing soundtrack on this podcast!Follow my Journey:Instagram: @wakeupelsieYouTube: www.youtube.com/WakeUpOrBreakUPCoaching: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

As we transition into the next phase of the podcast, there are few last things I'd like to say. I don't know if this will episode will make much sense, but I wanted to get some stuff off my chest before moving forward. So here I go...in all my random glory! Enjoy!Follow my journey...Instagram: @wakeupelsie YouTube: www.YouTube.com/wakeuporbreakupCoaching: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

We're coming to the end of season 1 and building up momentum for season 2!For the past 6 weeks...I think I've covered almost everything I've experienced from infidelity to forgiveness.  Now it's time to transition into the next phase of the podcast.  As much as I've enjoyed sharing my journey with all of you, I'm excited to share the stories and experiences of people who have cheated or been cheated on.  Before we move on to Season 2, there are a few things I'd like to get off my chest. Tune in to Episode 7 for my final thoughts and things I wish I would have said to the other woman, Joe and myself. Follow my Journey...Instagram: @wakeupelsieYouTube: www.YouTube.com/wakeuporbreakupCoaching: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

Let's talk about SEX baby...Let's talk about YOU and ME...Let's talk about all the GOOD things and the BAD things that may be...Let's talk about SEX!

First of all, I totally EFFED UP on this episode. I guess that's a side effect of being human! You'll hear me refer to Episode 5 multiple times, but it's actually Episode 6. I also decided to remix the question.  Before we begin, let me share this disclaimer: "There is not a one size fits all solution to relationships and infidelity. I am simply sharing what worked for me, and encouraging you to honor what works best for you." That being said, I hope you enjoy this episode!Follow me on Instagram: @wakeupelsieCheck out my Videos: YouTube.com/wakeuporbreakupInterested in Coaching: wakeupyourpassion.com 

I was definitely channeling some..."I am Woman hear me ROAR" vibes when I recorded this weeks podcast. Eight months ago I was faced with a devastating reality that was meant to destroy me and my marriage...and I SURVIVED! I took the pain, the hurt, the anger, and I made the most of it. In fact, I came out stronger, wiser, and more confident than I've ever been in my entire life! I'm not special guys. I don't have any life altering secrets to success or cheat codes to help salvage a marriage. I just put in the work. And when I say put in the work...I mean work on MYSELF.  For the first time in 15 years, I finally put my own happiness, well-being, and basic needs FIRST. Let me just say, it feels FREAKING AMAZING!

After Joe and I broke up, I found myself asking over and over again (in my Mr. Chow voice)...BUT DID YOU DIE??? And yes, that might be a little harsh and insensitive because I in fact did not die...but nonetheless...it was a good question to ask! Asking myself, "But Did You Die?"was a helpful way for me to shift my focus from victim to victor (if there was a victor in this situation), allowed me to own my circumstances and start the healing process. I needed a personal mantra. I needed something to remind me that I MADE IT! I faced one of the most painful experiences of my life and I'm still here!  I might be a little bruised, a little scarred, a little broken...BUT I DID NOT DIE!Follow my Journey on Instagram: @wakeupelsieCheck Out my YouTube Channel for relationship tips and advice: YouTube.com/wakeuporbreakupIf you're Interested in Relationship or Private Coaching: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

Every situation is different. Every couple has a different drama, dynamics, and connection. I can't tell you that forgiving and forgetting is necessary or even possible for you and your partner. All I can do is share my story and my insights.Do I think it's possible to forgive and forget? Absolutely! Do I think it's necessary? Well, that depends on your personal situation and how you want to move forward in your life. If you want to stay together...If you want to move on...If you want to remove the burden hurt and anger have over you...If you want to free yourself of the situation...I strongly recommend creating your own healthy version of forgiving and forgetting. Honor your feelings and your relationship and do what's best for you, your family,  and your situation. On Social Media? Follow me at @wakeupelsieNeed a Relationship Coach? Find me at wakeupyourpassion.comI'll talk to you guys again next week! Cheers!

My original answer to this question was HELL FREAKING NO!!!!!! There was NO WAY in the United States of America that I would ever forgive someone who cheated on me.  Now here I am...eating my words. Although I found a way to forgive Joe, I am still trying to find a healthy way to embody the "forgetting" part. It's definitely a process, but I think I'm on the right track. Oh the joys of making things work! Episode 4 launches Wednesday!Follow me on Instagram: @wakeupelsieRelationship Coaching Page: wakeupyourpassion.com

It's easy to point fingers, and throw the blame on someone else. Blaming Joe for what happened did not make me feel better, it did not erase what happened, and it did not help us move forward. So I decided to take a different approach. I decided to work on myself and take responsibility for my emotional disconnect, judgement, and frustration in our relationship. It wasn't pretty, but it helped me see things in a different light. 

Is one person to blame for cheating and infidelity? Or do all participants play an equal role in the destruction of a relationship? It's easy to point fingers and blame everyone else. To feel like life is unfair and terrible stuff only happens to YOU! Something that helped my healing process, was recognizing my role in the situation and taking personal responsibility for my contribution to the decline of our relationship. Now let's be clear, I'm not taking the blame or making excuses for why my husband cheated...I'm just saying we all made mistakes. We all messed up. So moving forward, if I want to make amends and heal my relationship with Joe, I need to stop pointing fingers and start self reflecting. Find me on Instagram: @wakeupelsie or @wakeupyourpassionCheck out my Coaching Website: wakeupyourpassion.com

I wanted to hate her...I really did, but we all played a part in the demise of my marriage. Accepting my role and acknowledging what I could have done differently was a HUGE step in my healing process. I was no longer the victim in my story. I became an active participant.  And just because I chose to forgive her…does NOT mean I will forget what she did! LESSON LEARNED!

I know people will have different opinions on this one...but I'm super curious. Do bad decisions make you a bad person, or can you make bad decisions and still be a good person? This is just my humble opinion. Let me know what you think!

I wanted people to believe that I had a "picture perfect" life and marriage. That I had all the answers and everything was under control. And then it happened...my "happily ever after" blew up in my face! Within a twenty-four hour time frame, I found out my husband cheated, closed my business of 8 years, moved out of my house, and left my marriage.Despite my feelings of shame and humiliation, this event was the life shattering, heartbreaking, ROCK BOTTOM fresh start I needed to WAKE UP!

I gotta be real with you guys, my life is far from perfect and I'm ok with that.  By exposing the flaws in my own marriage, my hope is to show listeners that failure and conflict are a NORMAL part of marriage and don't have to lead to divorce.  Join me each week as I explore the pleasure and pain of relationships, infidelity, and second chances. It's time to Wake Up or Break Up!