Podcasts about I Made It

TWS News 1: Poor People Habits – 00:26 What a Dad Wants – 3:27 A.I. Bible Character Blog Promo – 8:23 TWS News 2: Jelly Roll’s Journey – 13:12 Your “I Made It” Story – 16:00 Name It & Claim It: New Car – 22:43 TWS News 3: Sams vs Costco – 26:18 What Makes Your Church Special – 30:26 Toby & CeCe Song – 35:16 Rock Report: Beckham Family Drama – 38:20 Things Young Parents Do You Don’t Get – 42:11 Banned Baby Names – 48:59 You can join our Wally Show Poddies Facebook group at www.facebook.com/groups/WallyShowPoddies

Mississippi family band Annie & The Caldwells are anchored by their matriarch. Annie is not only the central figure of her own band, she’s also a member of the Staples Jr. Singers and owner of Caldwell Fashions — providing daywear and church outfits since the 1980s. Annie & The Caldwells’ debut album, Can’t Lose My (Soul), is forty years in the making and imparts the nourishing themes of spirituality, struggle, and redemption.. Check out their powerful, disco-tinged gospel on “I Made It.” 

This week Devo is running, swimming and jumping to rescue us all from our dreary Monday! Meanwhile, Young Jeffrey visits the Paris Olympics, Sulu gets creative with a bagel, and Green Jelle� is raising some hell with Fred and Barney in Bedrock. Where can a fella get a bronto-burger around here?! 1. "Olympics in Paris" by Young Jeffrey 2. "I Made It with a Bagel and Cream Cheese" by Sulu 3. News of the Stupid! 4. "Anarchy in Bedrock" by Green Jelle� Young Jeffrey is at BrookeandJeffrey.com Sulu is active in the Dr. Demento official Facebook group Green Jelle� is at GreenJelle�.com Thank you to our Patreon backers for making this show possible!!!

”Jeg fik min permanente opholdstilladelse i USA pga. mit arbejde på Disneys ”The Nightmare Before Christmas”. I denne anden del af ugens Portrætalbum forsætter snakken med tegner og musiker Jørgen Klubien, som fortæller om hvordan det var vigtigt for ham, at kunne slå rødder i USA. Og det skulle blive hans arbejde på Tim Burtons ny-klassiker ”The Nightmare Before Christmas” der banede vejen for det famøse amerikanske ”green card”. Du kan også blive klogere på, om Jørgen i sit amerikanske eventyr med arbejdet for bla. Disney og Pixar, nogensinde har udbrudt ”I MADE IT”! Sidst men ikke mindst, så snakker vi også om hvad livet skal byde på, når Disney- og Pixarkarrieren er forbi, men musikken stadig spiller i Jørgens liv. Udsendelse nr.: 134 Vært: Anders Bøtter Klip og lyddesign: Emil Germod Redaktør: Michelle Mølgaard Andersen Produceret af: Bowie-JettSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] . . . “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] . . . “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

A Valuable Resource for All Business Owners This week on She Talks Business, you'll hear a new type of episode called My Take. These episodes are my opinion on things I am reading and find interesting. You'll listen to what I liked about what I was reading, and then I'll give you my take on it. This first episode is fascinating because it features Noah Kagan's new book, Million Dollar Weekend. I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I went into reading it with curiosity and walked away feeling excited. In this episode, I discuss my take on 14 different things from the book, and the topics below are the top ones. Frequent Excuses At the beginning of this book, I liked that Noah shared a list of frequently made-up excuses. When you read this list of excuses, you'll see at least one in yourself, if not multiple. What Noah does, however, is he lays out a clear path for you on how to overcome those excuses. This was an intelligent way to start this book because he then links the excuse to where he would overcome it later, giving you the specific chapter where he would do that. The Simple Start The second thing I liked about this book is that Noah shares "The Simple Start." This is when you 1. Find a problem, 2. Solve the problem, and 3. Validate your idea without spending any money. Why I liked this so much... Because people usually think about an idea that they believe will make them money rather than thinking about their buyer and the problem that they can solve. I've also seen people spend thousands on an idea, perfecting something before they even know if they have a buyer. If you can validate your idea, meaning someone will buy it, you know whether it is viable for a business. Noah helps you put this into action by giving you shortcuts to sell through emails, messages, and simple ways to get your idea out there and get someone to spend money without you needing to. You don't have a business if you don't have a customer. FREE Stuff—At The Start In Million Dollar Weekend, Noah gives you a free journal, scripts, templates, and more, all at milliondollarweekend.com. You're getting this additional value, and it's being offered to you at the very start of the book. This isn't a new concept; most people do this with their books, but they're not intentional about it and put it at the end of the book. Did you know that most people don't read past chapter two? Having these resources at the beginning and referring to them throughout the book makes the experience more fun and interesting because it's interactive. The Challenges Throughout this book, you're given challenges that make you uncomfortable. Gradually, they become more and more challenging, putting you outside your comfort zone. Noah is doing this because when you have a business, there are things you need to do to have something worth growing and paying you how you want to be paid. You have to get used to rejection. You have to build your courage and resilience because then you can pretty much do anything.  Proof Of Concept This was discussed above, but it's crucial to understand:  If you can't get the first dollar, you might not have a viable business idea.  If you're unwilling to ask people to be your customer to get the first $1,000 in 48 hours, you might not have the courage to be an entrepreneur.  If you're spending a ton of money at the start before you even have any customers, chances are you're a perfectionist and are stuck in insecurity. Your great idea is dying a slow death because you're afraid. Stop being scared of what people think because the worst thing that could happen is someone saying no.  The One Minute Business Plan Noah does this thing called "The One Minute Business Plan," where you can determine if your idea is a million-dollar opportunity. He gets you to look at Google Trends, market size, product cost, and total value and gives you the formula to calculate whether it is a million-dollar idea. Then, he gets you to calculate $1,000,000 by your profit per unit sold so that you know how many customers you need. When you simplify your pricing, you know exactly what you need from a sales and profit perspective.  I Made It, and I Still Feel Like Shit. Anyone who has reached feeling like they've "made it" has probably experienced this. You started your business to have more freedom and ended up creating a job for yourself; you've put yourself in a box. That will kill your spirit. Make a list of what you want for every aspect of your life and put it somewhere you can see to keep sight of what will make you happy. There is no point in growing a successful business if it isn't bringing you joy. That's my take, folks! I highly recommend reading Million Dollar Weekend. If you enjoyed this episode, let me know. If you purchase this book, tag me and Noah to share that you bought it because you heard me talk about it. What's In This Episode Retaining existing customers and gaining referrals is crucial for business growth. Asking for help and embracing generosity in business relationships to foster success. Aligning your life goals and using visual reminders for personal and professional growth. What To Do Next Visit lisalarter.com/e144 for all resources from this episode

Detroit Youth Choir rocks the house with a performance of "Hey Look Ma, I Made It" by Panic! At The Disco and "Believer" by Imagine Dragons, putting their vocals (and dance moves) on full display.

Detroit Youth Choir rocks the house with a performance of "Hey Look Ma, I Made It" by Panic! At The Disco and "Believer" by Imagine Dragons, putting their vocals (and dance moves) on full display.

This week, I sit down with Carrie Nardini to talk about one the city's biggest and most important events that is the I Made It! Market! Carrie established ‘I Made It Market' in 2007 after a very small group of other crafters (including Carrie) were looking for more opportunity to showcase and sell their homemade wares. With only a few markets happening back in the late 2000's, Carrie realized that there were none that were specifically curated to highlight all the makers in Pittsburgh. Now, almost 15 years later, Carrie spearheads the all the events for I Made It! Market and The Neighborhood Flea and we learn all about it! - I cannot implore yinz enough to head out to the I Made It! Market on December 9th! This is a FREE event! If you're looking for a place to get your Holiday shopping done, THIS IS IT! You'll have a plethora of local vendors selling fantastic homemade goods to purchase for your friends and loved ones, just in time for the holiday. Keep in mind, when yinz #ShopLocal, you're keeping the money into the community and investing in the future of incredible events like these. Enjoy! - Become a "friend" on Patreon and support the show

Another guest appearance! And the longest episode to date no less. This week fresh AHL champion Henrik "Niki" Borgström joins us to share his story and to tell us how he dramatically changed his off-season training routine after another championship year. Look out for lots of laughter, some shared stories from junior days, hardships and triumphs and overall, a comprehensive coverage from his journey from Finland's capital, to NHL entry draft and NCAA championship, all the way to Sweden where fans now get to enjoy his tremendous offensive skillset. Leave a rating if you enjoyed and go check out the rest of the offering if you happen to be new around here - I welcome you with open arms. Enjoy! (01:29) Intro  (04:30) Roadhouse?  (05:22) New Off-Season Training Regiment  (06:58) Player Profile  (08:44) The Beginning  (10:48) Early Jr. Days  (12:18) Jokerit --> HIFK  (15:31) Path Selection? (16:45) The Growth Spurt  (18:19) Game Changer  (20:06) Some Name Value  (22:30) Kolliluola's Magic  (23:48) Cowboy Karjalainen  (25:02) Young Miro Heiskanen   (26:50) This Hockey Thing Could Lead to Something  (28:01) Florida Panthers - 23rd Overall (32:51) Unversity of Denver  (36:51) U20-SM to College (37:29) Full-On Pro or Extracurricular Activities? (39:47) Deadly Duo & Future Show Members   (42:09) Jim Montgomery  (43:10) Backrubs and Duels (44:49) Freshman Year and NCAA Championship  (48:20) U20 World Championships  (49:36) Sophmore Season in DU  (50:43) Hobey Baker Finalist  (51:34) "What Happened?" NHL Debut (54:23) Inside Job  (56:49) Pinching Yourself  (58:08) Mom, I Made It  (59:24) Thanks Sasha & Rookie Party  (1:00:52) Scoring On and Off the Ice  (1:01:51) Finnish National Team in Springfield  (1:02:51) Enjoying Springfield w/ Sebastian Repo (1:04:20) Ups and Downs  (1:07:25) Return to Nordis  (1:09:00) Trade to Chicago  (1:11:04) Kaner, Cat, Captain Serious & Flower  (1:12:37) Buyout  (1:13:54) To the Capital  (1:14:58) Calder Cup Finals  (1:16:36) The Deciding Goal  (1:21:08) Back to Europe  (1:23:01) Back to NA?  (1:24:49) Not a Perfect Start  (1:26:36) Finns Galore  (1:28:13) Rowdy Home Crowd  (1:30:32) Away from the Ice  (1:33:36) Hockey Fandom & SC Prediction  (1:35:52) Football Fanatic  (1:37:01) Fan Question  (1:38:16) The Snapshots  (1:41:27) The Trifecta  (1:44:57) Final Word  (1:45:47) Outro  ____________________________ FOLLOW: IG: thedrop_pass / jtoiva  TikTok: thedrop_pass  Twitter: _JToiva Niki Borgström Twitter: punanen5 Music by: SteezyJoe IG: @steeezyjoe   Brought to you by The Hockey Podcast Network - All 32 teams represented + much more at https://www.thehockeypodcastnetwork.com/ #THPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Week 52 update.I MADE IT!! 12 MONTHS WITHOUT ALCOHOL!I share a few key positives, negatives and tips in this episode :)SHOPE MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL! - www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/collections/change-your-world-collectionCome hang out in Bali for my first-ever retreat! Learn more about it here - https://mindsporetreats.com/goodresetCheck out The Good Human Factory Youtube! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdWl8HIdZNITo learn about sponsorship packages for Good Humans Podcast please send me an email - cooper@thegoodhumanfactory.comUse code PODCAST for 25% off GOOD HUMAN FACTORY Merch - www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/collections/allCooper's SocialsINSTAGRAM - www.instagram.com/cooperchapman/?hl=enTIK TOK - www.tiktok.com/@cooperchapman_?lang=enThe Good Human FactoryINSTAGRAM - www.instagram.com/thegoodhumanfactory/?hl=enWebsite - www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/Enquire about a workshop - https://www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/pages/workshopsTHE GOOD HUMAN FACTORY™️ 2020 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Week 52 update.I MADE IT!! 12 MONTHS WITHOUT ALCOHOL!I share a few key positives, negatives and tips in this episode :)SHOPE MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL! - www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/collections/change-your-world-collectionCome hang out in Bali for my first-ever retreat! Learn more about it here - https://mindsporetreats.com/goodresetCheck out The Good Human Factory Youtube! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdWl8HIdZNITo learn about sponsorship packages for Good Humans Podcast please send me an email - cooper@thegoodhumanfactory.comUse code PODCAST for 25% off GOOD HUMAN FACTORY Merch - www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/collections/allCooper's SocialsINSTAGRAM - www.instagram.com/cooperchapman/?hl=enTIK TOK - www.tiktok.com/@cooperchapman_?lang=enThe Good Human FactoryINSTAGRAM - www.instagram.com/thegoodhumanfactory/?hl=enWebsite - www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/Enquire about a workshop - https://www.thegoodhumanfactory.com/pages/workshopsTHE GOOD HUMAN FACTORY™️ 2020 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We had the pleasure of interviewing Sam Hollander Zoom video!Sam Hollander has spent thirty years trudging through the peaks and valleys of a songwriting career. Before he was stacking Billboard hits, he was piling up bad luck, calamitous flops, false starts, and feeling like the world was moving on and up without him while he spun in place. Now he wears his failures like a badge of honor.In 21-Hit Wonder, he's collected anecdotes from his weird waltzes around the banquet of pop to help aspiring songwriters and other creatives learn about survival, endurance, scheming, hustle, and the importance of laughing even on the worst days of the journey. Music lovers spanning generations and genres will find stories about many of their heroes and industry icons. 21-Hit Wonder is one part chronicle of a songwriter's storied career and another part love letter to anyone who has been counted out—from no-hit wonders and one-hit wonders to the novelties and the never-beens—and just needs a bit of inspiration to persevere. Sam's inspiring story is proof that setbacks are just steps on the road to success.As one of the most renowned multi-platinum selling songwriters and producers in the game, SAM HOLLANDER has written and produced for the likes of Panic! At The Disco, One Direction, Katy Perry, Weezer, Def Leppard, blink-182, Fitz and the Tantrums, Train, Ringo Starr, Carole King, Tyga, The O'Jays, Gym Class Heroes, and many others.To date, he has achieved 22 US Top 40 Hits, as well as 10 Number 1's, 10 top fives, and 87 Top 10 chart positions globally. His songs have been streamed over 5 billion times, and in 2019, he held the #1 position on the Billboard Rock Songwriters chart for nine weeks, a year-end record. Sam has also been chosen to be on Variety's Hitmakers list, as well as being named Rolling Stone's Hot List Producer of the Year in 2008.Hollander's career has recently hit new heights from collaborations with Fitz and the Tantrums' multi-platinum worldwide hit, “HandClap” (one-billion-streams) and eight songs he co-penned on Panic! At The Disco's Billboard 200 No. 1 album Pray For The Wicked, including the 5x platinum, billion streamed record-breaking global hit “High Hopes” and “Hey Look Ma, I Made It!” which replaced “High Hopes” at No. 1 on the Hot Rock Songs chart. Other notable recent successes include writing Banners' platinum hit, “Someone To You,” Blink-182's Alternative Top 10 single “Blame It On My Youth”, James TW's worldwide platinum hit “When You Love Someone” and writing and producing two songs on the legendary Ringo Starr's recent release “What's My Name.” He's currently writing and producing the music for NBC'S fall 2021 new drama series Ordinary Joe.We want to hear from you! Please email Hello@BringinitBackwards.com. www.BringinitBackwards.com#podcast #interview #bringinbackpod #SamHollander #21HitWonder #Songwriter #NewMusic #ZoomListen & Subscribe to BiBhttps://www.bringinitbackwards.com/follow/ Follow our podcast on Instagram and Twitter! https://www.facebook.com/groups/bringinbackpod

In this last episode of BARRACKS TALK, the guys had a nostalgia moment before the show but went live while discussing it! However, they got back on track and talked about the last couple of weeks where Oink went to Florida with his family, JJ had an amazing show (for his hardwood), and Bo just complained. Then Google came on and blood pressures rose! Guests/Hosts: "Disney sucks" Oink, "Dongle" Joaquin Juatai, "I Made IT!" Google and "Internet, HA!" Bo.   [NOTE: Click these links!] ---------- DV Farm Septic System Fundraiser https://donorbox.org/dv-farm-septic-system ---------- Parental Control Apps https://bit.ly/ChildSafeInternet ---------- Backpacks For Life https://backpacksforlife.org/ ---------- Wah-Tie Woodturning https://wahtiewoodturning.com/ ---------- Affinity Innovations, Inc. https://affinitybsc.com/ ---------- Backpacks For Life Fundraiser https://ko-fi.com/dvradio/goal?g=1 ---------- Edited by Munkee Bawlz Media https://www.munkeebawlzmedia.com/ ---------- Are you a Veteran Owned Business? Have unique, handmade items that we can buy and review on a show? Contact us, show us what you have, and we'll (at least Bo) will spend up to $50 per month and speak openly about your product(s)!! ---------- Find Out More About Betsy Ross At Her Website http://bit.ly/Betsy-Ross_Website ---------- SGT WarDawg http://sgtwardawgtv.fans.link/ ---------- Find out more about Backpacks For Life https://www.backpacksforlife.org/ ---------- *Got an idea for BARRACKS TALK or any other show? Want to be a guest? Then please feel free to contact us by sending an email to info@dvradio.net, oink@dvradio.net, ptsdog@dvradio.net.* ---------- **LINKS TO CHECK OUT** EVERYTHING DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERANS https://whereisdv.carrd.co  ---------- Grab DV Radio's Battlegrounds From Ubora Coffee At: http://bit.ly/DVR-BattlegroundCoffee  ---------- DV RADIO PARTNERS, SPONSORS, and AFFILIATES https://dvr-listen-support.carrd.co

She is the personality behind who we are and why we have so many bloopers. She has experienced many things in her lifetime, tried all the jobs, started all the businesses, and the one that stuck fo the past 26 years is her beloved dance studio, Carmela's Dance Studio, in Springfield, Pa. Together with her sister, Vicki Abbott, they co-founded a children's theater company bringing life lessons to schools in a Broadway production style. Carmela is a woman of many stories, many accents, many characters and you just never know which one you'll get! She is loads of fun and extremely wise, so we definitely know how lucky we are to call her Mom.We hope you enjoy this conversation with the unofficial Mayor of Delco and keep your eyes peeled for a run in at your local Wawa!—————Real Tip of the Day: Hey Look, Ma, I Made It!Take it from Carmela….Don't think. Do. If there is a project you want to start but haven't, a business you want to get into but are too afraid to try, a place you want to visit, an experience you've always dreamt of…..NOW IS THE TIME. Life is too short to overthink it! If getting it done right this second is too much, START THE PLANING process now! You can do this, we know you can!Lets make it EXTRA! Ma! The Meatloaf!Take time out and sit with a loved one, a friend, an elder in your family, your parents, your partner, your neighbor….and listen and share stories! Connect in person, and create real life memories. Learn some history, cherish some moments. Maybe even record them, grab a journal, record it on your phone, whatever will help you be in the present moment and connect. It's worth it, trust us!————If you want to workout with us, at home or in person, check us out www.CFITfitness.com We would love to have you join the CFIT Community :)Follow us for updates, inspiration, and ridiculousness!Instagram: @fittoberealpodcast Instagram/Facebook/Tik Tok @cfitfitnessReferences:26 Year Business: Carmela's Dance StudioChildren's Theater Company: Stages of ImaginationNYC dance studio: Broadway Dance CenterOur Summers: Shawnee Playhouse/Shawnee on The DelawareChuck Kelly: YoutubeFrank Hatchett: YoutubePhil Black: YoutubeGregory Hines: Youtube

This past Saturday, PTSDog (Joaquin Juatai, JJ) and Bo kicked the night off with discussing their internet and technology issues they've had this week. A few minutes into the show, they get a cryptic message saying somebody is joining them and, although it wasn't a shock as to who it was… It was a shock that they weren't exhausted from the past week enough to come on with the guys! Guests/Hosts: "Dongle" Joaquin Juatai, "I Made IT!" Google and "Internet, HA!" Bo.   [NOTE: Click these links!] ---------- DV Farm Septic System Fundraiser https://donorbox.org/dv-farm-septic-system ---------- Parental Control Apps https://bit.ly/ChildSafeInternet ---------- Backpacks For Life https://backpacksforlife.org/ ---------- Wah-Tie Woodturning https://wahtiewoodturning.com/ ---------- Affinity Innovations, Inc. https://affinitybsc.com/ ---------- Backpacks For Life Fundraiser https://ko-fi.com/dvradio/goal?g=1 ---------- Edited by Munkee Bawlz Media https://www.munkeebawlzmedia.com/ ---------- Are you a Veteran Owned Business? Have unique, handmade items that we can buy and review on a show? Contact us, show us what you have, and we'll (at least Bo) will spend up to $50 per month and speak openly about your product(s)!! ---------- Find Out More About Betsy Ross At Her Website http://bit.ly/Betsy-Ross_Website ---------- SGT WarDawg http://sgtwardawgtv.fans.link/ ---------- Find out more about Backpacks For Life https://www.backpacksforlife.org/ ---------- *Got an idea for BARRACKS TALK or any other show? Want to be a guest? Then please feel free to contact us by sending an email to info@dvradio.net, oink@dvradio.net, ptsdog@dvradio.net.* ---------- **LINKS TO CHECK OUT** EVERYTHING DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERANS https://whereisdv.carrd.co  ---------- Grab DV Radio's Battlegrounds From Ubora Coffee At: http://bit.ly/DVR-BattlegroundCoffee  ---------- DV RADIO PARTNERS, SPONSORS, and AFFILIATES https://dvr-listen-support.carrd.co

I honestly didn't think this was gonna get done but I MADE IT! Wishing y'all the best holiday period you can have. Please enjoy the second festive special featuring a lot of rambling as per usual, some helpful tips if these times are difficult for you and a reading of a well loved festive story :) C x

In this episode of BARRACKS TALK, the hosts have a little fun and begin preparing for the end of 2022. We have a few updates for the DV Farm, road rage stories and much more to make you laugh while we struggle.   Guests/Hosts: "Alaskan Pig Man" Oink, "Hot-Ass Tex-Ass" SGT WarDawg, "I MADE IT!" Google and "Dying" Bo.   [NOTE: Click these links!] ---------- DV Farm Septic System Fundraiser https://donorbox.org/dv-farm-septic-system ---------- Parental Control Apps https://bit.ly/ChildSafeInternet ---------- DV Farm Video https://fb.watch/gVdHra_Hs1/ ---------- Wah-Tie Woodturning https://wahtiewoodturning.com/ ---------- Southern Vet Sweets https://www.southernvetsweets.net/store/p38/Chocolate_Covered_Coffee_Beans_%288oz_bag%29.html ---------- Affinity Innovations, Inc. https://affinitybsc.com/ ---------- Backpacks For Life Fundraiser https://ko-fi.com/dvradio/goal?g=1 ---------- Edited by Munkee Bawlz Media https://www.munkeebawlzmedia.com/ ---------- Are you a Veteran Owned Business? Have unique, handmade items that we can buy and review on a show? Contact us, show us what you have, and we'll (at least Bo) will spend up to $50 per month and speak openly about your product(s)!! ---------- Find Out More About Betsy Ross At Her Website http://bit.ly/Betsy-Ross_Website ---------- SGT WarDawg http://sgtwardawgtv.fans.link/ ---------- Find out more about Backpacks For Life https://www.backpacksforlife.org/ ---------- *Got an idea for BARRACKS TALK or any other show? Want to be a guest? Then please feel free to contact us by sending an email to info@dvradio.net, oink@dvradio.net, ptsdog@dvradio.net.* ---------- **LINKS TO CHECK OUT** EVERYTHING DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERANS https://whereisdv.carrd.co  ---------- Grab DV Radio's Battlegrounds From Ubora Coffee At: http://bit.ly/DVR-BattlegroundCoffee  ---------- DV RADIO PARTNERS, SPONSORS, and AFFILIATES https://dvr-listen-support.carrd.co

In this episode of BARRACKS TALK, Chris of Affinity Innovations, Inc. joins the crew to discuss FTX and its affect in the crypto market. The rest of the show, it's pretty much telling you to get ready for DV Radio's LARGEST store promotion EVER, Southern Vet Sweets new product and Wah-Tie Woodturning! And we give you a few DV Farm updates.   Guests/Hosts: "Alaskan Pig Man" Oink, "Hot-Ass Tex-Ass" SGT WarDawg, "Mexican Wannabe" Chris, "I MADE IT!" Google and "Dying" Bo.   [NOTE: Click these links!] ---------- DV Farm Septic System Fundraiser https://donorbox.org/dv-farm-septic-system ---------- Parental Control Apps https://bit.ly/ChildSafeInternet ---------- DV Farm Video https://fb.watch/gVdHra_Hs1/ ---------- Wah-Tie Woodturning https://wahtiewoodturning.com/ ---------- Southern Vet Sweets https://www.southernvetsweets.net/store/p32/Chocolate_Covered_Coffee_Beans_%288_oz%29.html ---------- Affinity Innovations, Inc. https://affinitybsc.com/ ---------- Backpacks For Life Fundraiser https://ko-fi.com/dvradio/goal?g=1 ---------- Edited by Munkee Bawlz Media https://www.munkeebawlzmedia.com/ ---------- Are you a Veteran Owned Business? Have unique, handmade items that we can buy and review on a show? Contact us, show us what you have, and we'll (at least Bo) will spend up to $50 per month and speak openly about your product(s)!! ---------- Find Out More About Betsy Ross At Her Website http://bit.ly/Betsy-Ross_Website ---------- SGT WarDawg http://sgtwardawgtv.fans.link/ ---------- Find out more about Backpacks For Life https://www.backpacksforlife.org/ ---------- *Got an idea for BARRACKS TALK or any other show? Want to be a guest? Then please feel free to contact us by sending an email to info@dvradio.net, oink@dvradio.net, ptsdog@dvradio.net.* ---------- **LINKS TO CHECK OUT** EVERYTHING DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERANS https://whereisdv.carrd.co  ---------- Grab DV Radio's Battlegrounds From Ubora Coffee At: http://bit.ly/DVR-BattlegroundCoffee  ---------- DV RADIO PARTNERS, SPONSORS, and AFFILIATES https://dvr-listen-support.carrd.co

Yvonne Orji is best known for playing Molly Carter on the series Insecure. Her performance was nominated for an Emmy Award in 2020. Yvonne is also a stand-up comic and has a new HBO special titled: Yvonne Orji: A Whole Me. The special is a follow up to her 2020 comedy special: Momma, I Made It! Orji is from Nigeria and while she was a grad student, she entered a beauty pageant and performed stand-up for the talent portion of the event. You can watch Yvonne Orji: A Whole Me on HBO or streaming on HBO Max. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This has been a tough year but the crazy thing is. I MADE IT!I hope this reaches you well and that you can share it with someone who may need it.Follow me!!!!IG, Twitter and Facebook! @Shezjazzology Keep Up with me and watch "Itz The Kick Back's" latest episode on youtube!!Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/pS8YZDUJYiIfollow us on IG!: @ITZTHEKICKBACKLINK TREE: https://liinks.co/itzthekickbackSupport the show

It's been a while but, we finally had Jon of The Jaeger Foundation back on!! We may or may not have went off topic, more than once... but it's okay! Because he discussed what's happened at Jaeger since he was last on and what's upcoming! Guests/Hosts: "The Four Letter Word" Oink, "My 'net isn't working" Joaquin Juatai (PTSDog), "I MADE IT!" Google, and "Yeah, I said it" Bo. The Jaeger Foundation https://www.thejaegerfoundation.org/ [NOTE: Click these links!] ---------- Change Unchained https://www.changeunchained.com/ ---------- Parental Control Apps https://bit.ly/ChildSafeInternet ---------- Get Your 15% Off Of Your ByteTag https://bit.ly/ByteTag-15Off ---------- Edited by Munkee Bawlz Media https://www.munkeebawlzmedia.com/ ---------- Eliza Bleu Podcast https://www.elizableupodcast.com/ ---------- Are you a Veteran Owned Business? Have unique, handmade items that we can buy and review on a show? Contact us, show us what you have, and we'll (at least Bo) will spend up to $50 per month and speak openly about your product(s)!! ---------- Find Out More About Betsy Ross At Her Website http://bit.ly/Betsy-Ross_Website ---------- SGT WarDawg http://sgtwardawgtv.fans.link/ ---------- Find out more about Backpacks For Life https://www.backpacksforlife.org/ ---------- *Got an idea for BARRACKS TALK or any other show? Want to be a guest? Then please feel free to contact us by sending an email to info@dvradio.net, oink@dvradio.net.* ---------- WE NEED YOUR HELP!! https://bit.ly/2ZatlfX ---------- **LINKS TO CHECK OUT** EVERYTHING DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERANS https://whereisdv.carrd.co  ---------- Grab DV Radio's Battlegrounds From Ubora Coffee At: http://bit.ly/DVR-BattlegroundCoffee  ---------- DV RADIO PARTNERS, SPONSORS, and AFFILIATES https://dvr-listen-support.carrd.co

Christopher Knight Lopez, a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of the book "I Made It. Then I didn't." joins Enterprise Radio. The post How to be a Professional Hustler with Christopher K. Lopez appeared first on Enterprise Podcast Network - EPN.

If I was organized and smart enough technically to play walk on music or a theme song today, I'd cue up, “All I do is Win!” Our Nice Guys guest today is Christopher Knight Lopez. He is a part of the one percent – not the one percent you know, but the one percent you don't know. He is a Professional Hustler, hustling millions each year by taking advantage of various market driven opportunities. We will share how you can earn a 6 plus figure income without conventional branding, social media presence or notoriety commonly associated with success. Best selling author of “I Made It. Then I Didn't.,”Connect with Christopher Lopez:Website: https://www.christopherklopez.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/knight-lopez-literary-works-llc/Instagram: @clopez2639Nice Sponsors:From Guest to Gold, Monetizing Your Podcast using Your Guest Seatwww.TurnkeyPodcast.com/goldhttps://turnkeypodcast.mykajabi.com/guest-to-gold How to Make Money, Grow Your Tribe, and Build Influencing Podcasting (Doug and Strick will be hosting the Masterclass)https://djdoug--turnkeypodcast.thrivecart.com/register/ Get your free E-Book 5 Ways to Make Money Podcasting at www.Turnkeypodcast.com/giftCheck out the "Entrepreneur's Toolkit" Giveaway Check out Headliner to create social media posts with video easily- make.headliner.app Simplecast is the easiest way to set up your podcast hosting- Simplecast.com Zoom is the easiest way to schedule meetings and record your podcast interviews- Zoom.us Acuity is the easiest way to schedule your podcast interviews, meetings, and life.Acuityscheduling.com See how The Nice Guys want to make your life easier? You can thank us later. Reach The Nice Guys Here: Doug- @DJDoug Strickland- @NiceGuyonBiz Nice Important Links: Subscribe to the Podcast website: Niceguysonbusiness.com Book Doug and/or Strick as a speaker at your upcoming event. Doug's Amazon #1 Best selling book Nice Guys Finish First. Partner Links: Amazon.com: Click before buying anything. Help support the podcast. Acuity Scheduling: Stop wasting time going back and forth scheduling appointmentsSimply the best VO guy in the business- https://steveobrienvo.com/ TurnKey Podcast Productions Important Links:The Ultimate Podcast Launch Formula www.turnkeypodcast.com/ultimatelaunchformula FREE workshop on how to "Be A Great Guest."Free E-Book 5 Ways to Make Money Podcasting at www.Turnkeypodcast.com/gift No time to get to this, but you can read the blog here: 12 worries that every entrepreneur has Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You're the expert. Your podcast will prove it.

The guys are back this week, talking and laughing their way through topics like what is our data being used for online, the real life Squid Game, Rolling Stone's wild Greatest Rap Albums list, and more! Make sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @TheAsheNHazePod! #CLEARLY #CPN Opening: "Money Shot" - Curren$y feat. Mac MillerClosing: "I Made It" - Jay-Z

Pamping the Twetch redesign; NFTs are dead; more crypto lawsuits & investigations; Starbucks shuts down unionized location; Amazon VP pushes sellers to oppose bill good for Amazon; Microsoft cleans up their policies; Apple gets in on Pay Later; Reply All is kaput; Strange New Worlds continues a good run; Rat in the Kitchen; The Orville pivots; Sandman causes uninformed internet to have a cow; Jason gears up new studio; two IKEA turntables & a Marshall stack; Feeting Woices; the Leia show; Tim Horton's app tracking & hockey lawsuits, hoser!Show notes at https://gog.show/557Sponsors:Kolide - Visit kolide.com/gog Enter your email when prompted to receive your free Kolide Gift Bundle after trial activation.MasterClass - Head over to m365masterclass.com and enter code GOG at checkout for 20% off your subscription for life.Mac Geek Gab Podcast - Visit MacGeekGab.com or search for Mac Geek Gab on Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Don't Get Caught without having Mac Geek Gab in your rotation.Hover - Go to Hover now and grab your very own domain or a few of them at hover.com/gog and get 10% off your first purchase.FOLLOW UPFacebook's algorithm change in 2018 benefitted Republican groups, researchers sayTwetchIntroducing Twetch Market 3.0!Praise for Uvalde shooter and call for copycats is growing online, Homeland Security warnsIN THE NEWSWinkelvoss twins' crypto exchange faces lawsuit over $36 million theftSEC is investigating Binance over its BNB tokenThe First Starbucks Location That Voted to Unionize Is Being Shut DownAmazon VP tries to convince sellers to oppose antitrust billMicrosoft drops non-compete clauses and NDAs from employee settlementsApple Pay Later doesn't worry us, says CEO of buy now, pay later unicorn AffirmMEDIA CANDYStar Trek: Strange New WorldsThe Orville: New HorizonsRat in the KitchenThe SandmanJohanna ConstantineFourth of JulyYvonne Orji: Momma, I Made It!APPS & DOODADSSteelSeries Nimbus+ Bluetooth Mobile Gaming Controller with iPhone Mount - 30+ Hour Battery Life - Apple-Licensed - Made for iOS, iPadOS, tvOS - with Apple ArcadeRØDE Professional Headphones, Black (NTH-100)100 Pieces Headphone Ear Covers Disposable Earphone Overs Sanitary Non-Woven Stretch Earpad Covers Earcup Covers Fit for Most on Ear Headphones (Black,11 cm)Sennheiser Professional MKH 416-P48U3 Short Shotgun Interference Tube MicrophoneRode SM4-R Suspension Microphone Shock Mount for 3/8" or 5/8" Thread Mounts[2 Pack] Judunmsk Mini 3 Pro HD Tempered Glass Screen Protector Film for DJI Mini 3 Pro RC Controller, DJI Mini 3 Pro RC Remote Controller Accessories [9H Hardness] [Anti-Scratch] [2.5D Arc Edge]YepIKEA teamed up with Swedish House Mafia on a turntableMarshall widens the soundstage on its new home speaker lineupA "Solar Tsunami" Could Entirely Wipe Out The Internet Within A Decade, Suggests StudyEU agrees single mobile charging port in blow to AppleFeeting.app - Your hands-free, audio-only walking meeting platformWoice on Product HuntWoiceStageTimer.ioSECURITY HAH!The CyberWireDave BittnerHacking HumansCaveatControl LoopYour Tim Hortons Coffee App Knew Where You Were at All TimesCanadian Hockey LawsuitCLOSING SHOUT-OUTSRIP David Lynch music contributor Julee CruiseSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

More crypto fails; Sheryl Sandberg leans out of the Metaverse; PayPal & other tech firms tighten their belts, lay off workers; Amazon stops in-app purchases on Android; Jonas Brothers launch Scriber for established artists like themselves; Netflix password-sharing plan isn't much of a plan; unions are good for workers; Legendary; Stranger Things; Yvonne Orji; Norm MacDonald; Willow; Starz; Groove Belt; Jiffy Reader; Obi Wan Kenobi; toxic fans; China anti-starling measures; I want to be a dog.Show notes: https://gog.show/556Sponsors:Hover - Go to Hover now and grab your very own domain or a few of them at hover.com/gog and get 10% off your first purchase.M365 Masterclass - Head over to m365masterclass.com and enter code GOG at checkout for 20% off your subscription for life.Kolide - Visit kolide.com/gog Enter your email when prompted to receive your free Kolide Gift Bundle after trial activation.FOLLOW UPTexas's bizarre social media law suspended by Supreme CourtCollector sells Bored Ape for $513,000 less than they paid for itFormer OpenSea executive arrested, charged with money launderingFormer Employee Of NFT Marketplace Charged In First Ever Digital Asset Insider Trading SchemeIN THE NEWSSheryl Sandberg will step down as Meta COOWhat Sheryl Sandberg's Replacements Are Up AgainstPayPal has been laying off workers to reduce costsAmazon no longer offers in-app Kindle and Music purchases on AndroidThe Jonas Brothers help launch Scriber, a creator subscription companyNetflix's password-sharing test in Peru is confusing subscribers, report suggestsHere's why the BuzzFeed News Union's contract includes protections from ghostsMEDIA CANDYBosch: LegacyLegendary Season 3 on HBO MaxStranger ThingsYvonne Orji: Momma, I Made It!Eddie Izzard: WunderbarRicky Gervais: SupernatureGrace and FrankieNorm Macdonald: Nothing Special'Willow' TV series comes to Disney+ on November 30thLionsgate plans to officially announce a Starz spinoff this summerDownton Abbey: A New Era APPS & DOODADSGroove Belt BlackJiffy Reader on Product HuntTwitter will shut down the TweetDeck for Mac app on July 1stSECURITY HAH!The CyberWireDave BittnerHacking HumansCaveatControl LoopObi Wan KenobiA personal message from Ewan McGregor.At What Point Do We Give Up On Star Wars Fans?The Orville China's military scientists call for development of anti-Starlink measuresJapanese Man Spends ₹ 12 Lakh To "Become" A DogCLOSING SHOUT-OUTSThe Last Howard Johnson's Restaurant In America Is Officially ClosedSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Get Loved Podcast, Koya talks to Yvonne Orji about pursuing your creative vision, finding people who will support you, and knowing when to maintain your own boundaries.  Yvonne shares her unabashedly honest and raw views on everything from her faith, mental health, and the lessons she learned while working in the creative industry, particularly with working as an actress and as an executive producer.She also shares her realizations while writing her book Bamboozled By Jesus, where she talks about her faith and road to success while also providing a fresh interpretation of Biblical stories fit for modern times.GUEST BIOYvonne Orji is a Nigerian-American Emmy-nominated actress, comedian and writer who is best known for her performance as Issa Rae's best friend and fan favorite, “Molly” on the HBO comedy series, Insecure which garnered her an Emmy Nomination for best supporting actress, and her newest show ‘My Mom, Your Dad' on HBOMax where she spreads her talents as Executive Producer AND Host!A distinguished standup comedian, Yvonne previously opened for Chris Rock on various stops of his Total Blackout Tour and headlined her first comedy tour, Lagos To Laurel, at the top of 2020. Her 1-hour Stand-Up Special  Momma, I Made It was shot in the two places Yvonne called home while growing up, Washington DC and Nigeria.Orji's film credits include Universal's Night School alongside Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish as well as Hulu's Vacation Friends alongside Lil Rel and John Cena. Her debut book, Bamboozled by Jesus: How God Tricked Me into the Life of My Dreams, was released in spring of 2020. In addition to Yvonne's work on camera, she is executive producing an autobiographical comedy entitled First Gen which is currently in development at Disney+.Outside of her creative work, Orji is dedicated to her charitable efforts. In 2018 she spent six months working in post-conflict Liberia with Population Services International (PSI), an NGO that utilizes social marketing in the adoption of healthy behaviors. While in Liberia, she worked with a group of talented youth to help build a mentoring program as well as a weekly talk show that helped educate and prevent teen pregnancy and HIV/AIDS. Orji has brought her work with the youth community back to the states, where she is currently involved with (RED) campaigns and faith based youth ministries.Before moving to Los Angeles, Yvonne earned a Bachelor's degree in Sociology and a Masters of Public Health from George Washington University.Connect with Yvonne and follow her work through the links below: Book: https://www.bamboozledbyjesus.com/Twitter: https://twitter.com/YvonneOrjiInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/yvonneorji/HIGHLIGHTS05:10 Story behind writing Bamboozled by Jesus 10:21 Having a personal relationship with Jesus will change you17:28 Talking about your faith will come with challenges 25:42 Find people that will protect you while you're working on yourself29:37 Women are intuitive but over rationalize so many things 32:12 Lessons learned while working in the creative industry49:14 Limit your circle to people that know how to grow54:52 You don't need to handle everybody else's problems 56:38 Life is all about trainingQUOTES18:40 Yvonne: "People will ruin even the good stuff that God has pre-ordained and predestined for them. That doesn't change in church. People will ruin the good stuff that God has pre-ordained and predestined for them. It just sucks because in their ruining that, it ruins it it for a lot of other people who can't get over that." 21:13  Koya: "When we're able to have compassion for the darkness, and realize in the world there's a lot of darkness in it, there's so much power in that." 23:18 Yvonne: For everybody that leaves in such a fantastical way, there are those who have come and stayed in an even more beautiful way. And so it as like, you know what, yes, I've had to curate boundaries, and who gets in and go to the inner core because I was very much like, inner core immediately kind of person. And then now, it's just like, game recognize game." 25:44 Yvonne: "We all have our insecurities. We all have the areas in our lives that we are so vulnerable in and we are working on. We need people around us. Not people who will coddle us, but people that will make us feel safe in the midst of all those things. Because if you're also committed to growing, you're working on that."Please leave a five-star review for the Get Loved Up Podcast. When you leave that review, please take a screenshot and email me at koya@koyawebb.com, and I've got a little gift for you.Your thoughts light up Koya's soul, and it helps continue to bring on great guests.To hear more about Koya Webb and Get Loved Up episodes, please visit her website at https://koyawebb.com/.

•Byron Walker is a singer, songwriter, author and Minister. He penned his first book at the age of twelve entitled “Encouraging The Teens Of Our Tomorrows Life By Starting Today.” He has TWO best sellers on the Amazon charts. •Byron's first album entitled “I Made It.” and is set to release his sophomore release entitled “No Fear.” He has written over one thousand inspirational songs. •Byron has a single just drop on April 15th entitled “Send Me” which features Bishop Earnest Pugh. He also has a single "Without You" featuring Sheri Jones-Moffett •You may also “like” and share the episode. And you may Subscribe so you will be alerted when the newest show is published. •Please send me an email sharing your thoughts about this show segment also if you have any suggestions of future guests you would like to hear on the show. Send an email to letstalk2gmg@gmail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/letstalk2gmg-ansonia/message

Want a fun 2022 Oscars? Dave and Jeff offer up some story lines and see if our Should Win/Will Win predictions are in line with Las Vegas' betting odds. We are not sponsored by any of the 20 gambling sites that hired a celebrity and advertised during the Super Bowl. We would love to be sponsored by them. But we're not. All we have is a beer sponsor. To our Queensland, Australia listeners, cheers, have a fun early Oscars party to see if your Aussie Heiress Nicole Kidman wins another. Just please take her PSA out of AMC's pre-show. It's not her fault, it's theirs, but it's gone too far. They've had plenty of time to make a new one. Something about 3D glasses and popcorn, they usually have a weird roller coaster,  some crap like that. Just stop telling me why I go to the movies. I go all the goddamn time. And when I'm watching a pre-show PSA at AMC, I'M ALREADY THERE! I MADE IT! I'M DOING IT! And I just sat through 20 minutes of trailers, the last thing I need is a reminder of what this advertisement rigamarole is preventing me from seeing! The movie that could have started by now! Find all of our Socials at: https://linktr.ee/theloveofcinema Hosts: Dave Green, Jeff Ostermueller Edited and produced by Dave Green  Music: soundcloud.com/dasein-artist Beer: @cbarrozo.beer Twitter: @theloveofcinema, Twitch/Facebook/Instagram: @theloveofcinemapod, YouTube: The Love of Cinema Podcast.

Welcome to EPISODE 11 “I MADE IT... NOW WHAT? ADJUST!” This week's episode is for you if you struggle with chronic stress, if you struggle with making wellness adjustments as life happens, or if you feel pressure to perform the same no matter your circumstances or stress levels... this is YOUR episode!!! Your Sustainable Wellness Toolkit for the Week: Register for March 24th “Thrive First Thing” encore... our 3W's God-Centered Morning Routine workshop. https://view.flodesk.com/pages/622820264e5181d777e4729a . Join the MWA Waiting List: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/614e6c22337f1c2aacf52b0b Host: Sierra Brown Email: info@melaninwell.com | IG: @iammelaninwell | Website: www.melaninwell.com

On this week's WeePod, Joe and Suz discuss the HBO Comedy Special, Yvonne Orji: Momma, I Made It!  We'd love to hear from you! Write to us at 3FunnyLadies@gmail.com

:27 - How hometown affected career pursuit / 2:32 - Discuss being Convergence Media Specialist @SPHS / 4:16 - Describes college experience @FMU / 9:02 - Talks about life after college / 15:16 - Favorite story written for Marlboro Herald-Advocate / 18:04 - Family not seeing professional vision / 24:16 - Was ESPN an “I Made It” moment / 27:16 - Broadcasting Idols (Musburger, Buck, Harlan, Madden, Summerall) / 34:28 - Memories of Madden and Summerall / 37:35 - Thoughts on Peyton & Eli calling games alongside broadcast crew / 41:59 - What makes Inside the NBA great / 46:17 - Charles Barkley's authenticity / 52:06 - Ernie Johnson & Inside the NBA's perfect chemistry / 1:00:17 - Tribal mentality of media and public in today's society

[LIVE] Storytime with Yvan Sison: I've Been Preparing To Host StartupREIShow.com _ I've Been Preparing To Host StartupREIShow.com All my life, I've always had the ambition and drive to pursue something better. This episode is a reflection of all my hard work and a true representation of my craft. I can definitely say "I MADE IT" though I know the journey is still beginning. _ Check out StartupREIShow.com The #1 Real Estate Investing(REI) Show for Startup Angel Investors! Grab your free gift, "Cutting The B.S.: 25 High-Level Questions To Ask Before Investing In Commercial Real Estate" at StartupREIShow.com Otherwise, have an amazing day! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/startuprei/message

What happens when you take an unapologetic set of lyrics and mesh them with a love of indie rock and pop-punk? Well, you might get something cool, but it'll not be as badass as PRONOUN, the music project of my friend Alyse Vellturo. On her latest EP, OMG, I MADE IT (out now), Alyse has solidified her sound as PRONOUN, with a searing passion that feels like a pure shock to the system. On today's bonus episode, I catch up with Alyse about how she made the EP and we share some laughs along the way.

Is there ever a moment when you can say, “I MADE IT?” Join Shelton Banks and the Sales for the Culture crew as they get real with Black folks about success, finding opportunities, and how they used tech sales to change the game! This week we are chopping it up with Roderick Jefferson, Vice President of Field Enablement at Netskope, CEO of Roderick Jefferson & Associates, author of Sales Enablement 3.0, and winner of more awards than we can count.

Is there ever a moment when you can say, “I MADE IT?” Join Jacob Gebrewold and the Sales for the Culture crew as they get real with Black folks about success, finding opportunities, and how they used tech sales to change the game! This week we are chopping it up with Kevin "KD" Dorsey, Linkedin Top Sales Voice 2020, InsideSales Top 10 Sales Leader, Sales Dev. Exec of the Year and VP of Inside Sales at PatientPop.

Happy Black History Month!  In addition to that, I MADE IT! This is the 12th and final episode of Vibes...Moods & Moves of Season #1!  Needless to say, I have a lot to say and some observations, reflections and feels to share with you all. In the spirit of Valentine's Day ( which was a week ago...) I have to say, I am totally in love with every single person who stepped out into the " interwebs " this past year and shared uplifting and edifying content.  You all are simply the best! As for me, my Podcast was a little monthly broadcast; and it truly became my "go to" when the News and current events got to be too much and I knew I needed a break. It has also been my public reckoning with my old self who has been chomping at the bit to do some chat in a blog meets radio format, for years!   So of course I decided to go for it in the middle of a pandemic! As scary as it was, I took comfort in knowing that I wasn't alone in doing so. So many from all around the world created and shared and took to the web, pushed passed their fear (s), frustration with being locked down... immeasurable global grief, and every other emotion we collectively have felt during this past year. I am honored to be just one voice in that mass digital choir of good stuff.   So I close this season with a full one hour episode where I chat about how I can't get into observing Black History Month on social media as it I simply feels void of that something special, the connection and deep reflection. Instead I choose to capture some of the vibe that I am missing from more traditional  ways that I have celebrated Black History Month with friends and family of years gone by. The fix for me during this time when we can't gather at Luncheons, Museums, Performances, Worship Services and such; I'm reading, watching documentaries, enjoying Art  and the Performing Arts online, listening to music and reflecting on my genealogy and my place in it all as I celebrate my African American Pride! ( which I celebrate all the time, but just a lil extra during Black History Month.).   With that said,please join me for this special Season#1 EPI 12, closing episode. Bring your tasty beverage, snack and settle into your comfy seat. This is a true blue heart to heart chat! And I sincerely hope you enjoy it.  And CHEERS to a year filled with connection and to the the next season!  "See" you all March 19h 2020 for the start of Season #2 of Vibes...Moods & Moves! NOTE:  To read my full Blog entry for this episode go here >  www.JannaeJordan.com If the streaming service you are using does not allow hyperlinks you can grab the links on my website www.jannaejordan.com from S1 EPI#12,  under the Vibes...Moods & Moves menu option.   Book I am reading: "The Devil You Know": A Black Power Manifesto : Written by, Charles M. Blow   What I am watching: The Black Church: This Is Our Story. This is our song - Official Website( PBS) Finding Your Roots (PBS) Black Art: In The Absence Of Light - (HBO)     From my Black History Month Reflections of celebrations passed: Wynton Marsalis Performing "Amazing Grace" at Federal Hall  in New York City Jonathan Green Studios ( My favorite Artist! ) Sweet Honey in The Rock - Wade in the Water Sweet Honey In The Rock - Let There Be Peace   Vibes...Moods &  Moves - Podcast

Is there ever a moment when you can say, “I MADE IT?” Join Mercy Bell and the Sales for the Culture crew as they get real with Black folks about success, finding opportunities, and how they used tech sales to change the game! This week we are chopping it up with Lisa Francoeur, CEO of Fancyfied and Co-Founder of Crypto Tutors.

Is there ever a moment when you can say, “I MADE IT?” Join Jacob Gebrewold and the Sales for the Culture crew as they get real with Black folks about success, finding opportunities, and how they used tech sales to change the game! This week we are chopping it up with Vivian Okere, Commercial Account Executive at New Relic & Founder of Brown Sales Collective.

In this week's episode Jon and Eric are joined by Ruben; the crew discusses very random topics amongst the following: Hiring Robots, Tyler the Creator, Marvel/MCU, Joe Budden and Patreon, the "Big Game" for Sunday and much more.The introductory song is "Crazy in Love" by Beyoncé and Jay Z.Sponsored by Alternative Original Clothing. Visit [https://www.alternativeoriginal.com/] and use Promo code TBVPodcast for 20% off your entire order.Brought to you by Broot's World, LLC.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/tbvpodcast)

Is there ever a moment when you can say, “I MADE IT?” Join Shelton Banks and the Sales for the Culture crew as they get real with Black folks about success, finding opportunities, and how they used tech sales to change the game! This week we are chopping it up with Shaniqua Davis, Founder of Noirefy.

Is there ever a moment when you can say, “I MADE IT?” Join Mercy Bell and the Sales for the Culture crew as they get real with Black folks about success, finding opportunities, and how they used tech sales to change the game! This week we are chopping it up with Nena Ugwuomo, Founder of Student Dream.

After Joe and I broke up, I found myself asking over and over again (in my Mr. Chow voice)...BUT DID YOU DIE??? And yes, that might be a little harsh and insensitive because I in fact did not die...but nonetheless...it was a good question to ask! Asking myself, "But Did You Die?"was a helpful way for me to shift my focus from victim to victor (if there was a victor in this situation), allowed me to own my circumstances and start the healing process. I needed a personal mantra. I needed something to remind me that I MADE IT! I faced one of the most painful experiences of my life and I'm still here!  I might be a little bruised, a little scarred, a little broken...BUT I DID NOT DIE!Follow my Journey on Instagram: @wakeupelsieCheck Out my YouTube Channel for relationship tips and advice: YouTube.com/wakeuporbreakupIf you're Interested in Relationship or Private Coaching: www.wakeupyourpassion.com

Appearing on this episode of Money Making Conversations is Yvonne Orji, Co-Star of HBO's “Insecure”, and Star of HBO comedy special “Momma, I Made It!”The Money Making Conversations talk show is about entrepreneurship and entertainment. The interviews give the consumer and business owners access to Celebrities, CEOs, Entrepreneurs, and Industry Decision Makers. They provide relatable information to the listener about career and financial planning, entrepreneurship, motivation, leadership, overcoming the odds, and how to live a balanced life.It is essential to understand that everybody travels a different path to success. That is because your brand is different. The challenges you face in your life are different. So stop reading other people's success stories and start writing your own. The Money Making Conversations interviews will encourage you to lead with your gifts and never use age as an excuse when planning your goals.“Lead with Your Gifts!”Rushion McDonald is a two-time Emmy Award-winning and three-time NAACP Image Award-winning television and film, producer. He is a sitcom writer, social media influencer, brand architect, entrepreneur, and award-winning baker.https://www.moneymakingconversations.comhttps://www.youtube.com/MoneyMakingConversationshttps://www.facebook.com/MoneyMakingConversations/https://twitter.com/moneymakingconvhttps://www.instagram.com/moneymakingconversations/Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSupport the show: https://www.steveharveyfm.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Appearing on this episode of Money Making Conversations is Yvonne Orji, Co-Star of HBO's “Insecure”, and Star of HBO comedy special “Momma, I Made It!”; Dara Resnik, Co-Creator/Co-Showrunner of Apple TV+ series “Home Before Dark”; The Original Bad Girl of Comedy, Luenell, Comedian and Actress in “Dolemite Is My Name” and upcoming movie "Coming to America 2"; Henry Simmons, Actor and Star of ABC's “Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The Final Mission"; and Delroy Lindo, Star in CBS All Access series "The Good Fight," and in the new Spike Lee Netflix movie “DA 5 BLOODS.”The Money Making Conversations talk show is about entrepreneurship and entertainment. The interviews give the consumer and business owners access to Celebrities, CEOs, Entrepreneurs, and Industry Decision Makers. They provide relatable information to the listener about career and financial planning, entrepreneurship, motivation, leadership, overcoming the odds, and how to live a balanced life.It is essential to understand that everybody travels a different path to success. That is because your brand is different. The challenges you face in your life are different. So stop reading other people's success stories and start writing your own. The Money Making Conversations interviews will encourage you to lead with your gifts and never use age as an excuse when planning your goals.“Lead with Your Gifts!”Rushion McDonald is a two-time Emmy Award-winning and three-time NAACP Image Award-winning television and film, producer. He is a sitcom writer, social media influencer, brand architect, entrepreneur, and award-winning baker.https://www.moneymakingconversations.comhttps://www.youtube.com/MoneyMakingConversationshttps://www.facebook.com/MoneyMakingConversations/https://twitter.com/moneymakingconvhttps://www.instagram.com/moneymakingconversations/Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSupport the show: https://www.steveharveyfm.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.