Baltimorons

Is it an episode, or a bloodletting...or BOTH?! Featuring your hosts alongside special guests Jake English and the Honorable (Not) Aaron Judge Markovich.

Due process is a strange and heavy meal.

Oh dear we recorded this before Baumann got DFA'd and traded! Featuring the triumphant return of Judge Marko, aka The Unguffable!

In which Alan and Sam consider the possibility of an umpire conspiracy, and recognize that, as usual, our suspicions are a reflection of our deep-seated inferiority complex.

In which some unfortunate predictions fail to come true, but various silver linings still shimmer!

There's a new Nick in town, and the Baltimorons are unexpectedly bullish. PLUS: did you know Johnny Cueto was still throwing baseballs? Would you like him to throw baseballs...for us?!

A requiem for the highs and lows of the Angelos era, and some semi-reckless speculation about what fandom might feel like under the Rubenstein Regime.

It's 10-10 going in to the 10th! The atmosphere is numerologically fortuitous! The time is nigh for Orioles Magic! But can the Birds (and the Morons) deliver?! Watch along with us here!

The Morons are joined by Anthony Fiume, Alan's partner-in-witchcraft at Football Club Group, which aims to make good on the original promise of Baltimorons: community ownership of a pro sports team.

The potentially seismic impact of the Yamamoto contract, and potential new names for Oriole Park at Camden Yards.

What a boring week! Not much to talk about, really. JK WTF IS THE CARLYLE GROUP WHAT IS HAPPENING IS THIS REAL LIFE

We try to figure out what, if anything, Mike Elias might do next week.

The thrilling (?) conclusion to our recap of the Orioles' 8/26/1996 tilt against the Oakland Athletics, featuring stunning geopolitical revelations, Strange But True Mel Proctor Facts, and heaved felines! Watch along with us here.

The Morons travel back in time to 1996, a time of tighter pants, looser PED restrictions, and sweeter swings from Orioles first basemen. Watch along with us!

The title will make sense at the end! Speaking of the end...let's talk about the glooming peace of the 2023 Baltimore Orioles endgame, shall we?

Organizers Bill Marker and Andy Ellis join the Baltimorons to discuss the most dangerous game.

Sam and Alan exult, consider John Angelos's Barnum-esque tactics, and engage in fervid speculation about the postseason rotation.

In which we panic about the bullpen and question the impulse to predict the future. Join us for our 9/26 livestream on Twitch!

Sam and Alan talk about living entire lifetimes between pitches, waiting for the punch, and pondering the unthinkable.

The absurdity of the new waiver system, a bold Tyler Wells prediction, and a provocative question about ballet. And check out Sam's Jon Miller doc on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!

Sam and Alan try to figure out how many times we've actually played the Blue Jays. PLUS: Webb gems, Angel tears, White Sox mysteries, and a homecoming for Mr. Jones.

Dean Kremer learns how to pitch, the bats go up in smoke, and the Eye of Sauron sweeps wildly across our broken land.

Sam and Alan bemoan John Angelos's remarkable accurate Donald Trump impression, and reflect on the silver linings of the Houston series.

The Baltimorons reminisce about the Buck-wild Oriole teams of yesteryear, and how the past is always present.

A customarily well-informed series of takes on morals and the trade deadline.

What are we, good now? What is this? How do we...what's happening?

Your Morons try to figure out if we can create One Ryan To Rule Them All, and also whether or not we should trade...anybody?

What kind of team is this, anyway? Halfway through the 2023 season, your humble hosts are still not entirely sure. 

Suddenly the bullpen is A Concern! PLUS: The Westburg Conspiracy. We investigate.

Notes on bullpen management, platoon advantages and disadvantages, and bigotry.

Sam reports back from a revelatory trip to the Bronx.

Boo shame, unexpected rotation excitement, and a lament for The Gaus.

We try to avoid getting too excited about Yennier Cano, and get somewhat dour about Felix Bautista. Plus: Remember Some Guys - Brian Matusz edition.

In which we reach the uncomfortable conclusion that Mike Elias may, in fact, know what he's doing.

In which we compare Ryan Mountcastle to Bonnie Raitt, Ryan O'Hearn to Martin Scorsese, and while we're at it, also cast an evil spell on Gunnar Henderson. In other words, a typically well-planned, thoughtfully constructed, and flawlessly executed Nickname Episode - featuring, as always, considered adjudication from the Right Honorable Judge Marko.

An in-depth psychological profile of the Orioles clubhouse mentality, and a note of cautious optimism about Grayson Rodriguez.

The Morons are back and better than ever (low bar)! We talk pace of play, Adley's historic quest for a 1.000 batting average, and adjusting our beer regimen in this brisk and brave new world.

In the wake of the Mancini and Lopez trades, we ponder whether or not we can truly claim the moniker of all-weather fans.

The Right Honorable Judge Marko returns to the broadcast booth to contend with Sam and Alan's firehouse of nickname guffery in this, the definitive listing of nicknames for your 2022 Baltimore Orioles.

Sam and Alan try to process Joc Pederson's displeasure with the Orioles' ownership.

Alan and Sam ponder our grave national obsession with oligarchy - which is, as usual, very related to Baltimore Orioles baseball, we swear.

The Morons celebrate the original groundhog, Don Buford, consider the legacy of Brady (not the one you're thinking of), and cower in fear at the speed of Miguel Cabrera's hands. Got thoughts? Tweet 'em: @bmorons. Thanks for listening!

The Morons try to figure out why fans tend to sympathize with owners during labor disputes, and then remember that the answer is a deep-rooted American rot that can probably never be resolved! PLUS: Alan requests your submissions on A Thing (no it's not the Nickname Episode, but stay tuned for updates on that!).

The Morons return with a series of unfortunate updates on the state of sports ownership, the legacy of Nick Markakis, and their recent discovery of podcasting's market inefficiency.

Introducing the first episode in a Baltimore-centric audio documentary murder mystery that Sam recently released as part of the new season of Family Ghosts. When a man goes missing from his office in Curtis Bay in 1987, his daughter sets off on a 25-year quest to figure out what happened to him. If you like what you hear, find Parts 2 and 3 in the main Family Ghosts feed!

Have we already had an episode called "Swamp Monster?" That feels likely. WHAT TO DO WITH CHRIS DAVIS, FRIENDS? We talk about it. Also, in a typically unconvoluted manner, we discuss The Nature of True Progress, and why the 2019 Orioles are IT, BABY.

Your favorite sporadically-produced podcast about your favorite sporadically-talented team is...well, not back, really, but here is a new episode, of a kind. The questions: who had the worse 2018 - Donald Trump or the Orioles? And should ballparks be more like the Alamo Drafthouse?

Once again: dozens of horrible puns, half-baked explanations, and crackpot political theories. Plus: JT Gwozdz with actual good ideas.

Is it safe to podcast again? Why do we baseball in Trump's America? Should Dylan Bundy throw the cutter? Argh.

Here they are, in all their, um, glory isn't the right word, uh - anyway, here's a whole bunch of ill-considered nicknames. We are once again joined by the steely-eyed and solemn-hearted Judge Marko, who, as is his wont, refuses to take any guff. Unfortunately, as is OUR wont, that's all we've got for him.

Relive the O's delicious 11-3 victory over Oakland with Sam and Alan - and recall how unlikely said victory was looking in the early-going. Other topics discussed: why the Orioles can't hit junkballers, whether Matt Wieters is a lost cause, what we should order for lunch, how much longer we can put up with Jonesy's slump, the color pink, and much much more.