Caroline Phipps

As we take our first tentative steps into a New Year, hospitals are full, politicians are bickering and the weather here in the Berkshires has been doing a fine impersonation of damp and chilly England. While New Year's Eve brings with it the sensation of starting anew, how effective are the usual resolutions and good intentions that go with flipping our yearly calendar page when things feel like more of the same?  The fascinating thing about these times is that, in truth, nothing is the same. But the evolutionary ground is shifting under our feet so fast that it's hard for our cultural minds to keep up. The accelerating changes of the last couple of years have a purpose, I believe, because they have turned a spotlight on what, and who, we value: A contagious virus reminds us of our mortality and the value of a simple hug. Storming the Capital reminds us of the value of our democracy. Wildfires remind us that our crisp, clean Berkshire air can't be taken for granted. Things are different now, and new year's resolutions to cut back the carbs and cocktails aren't going to cut the mustard, because we are different now. And this can be a good thing.  Many of our beliefs and subsequent behavior come from cultural programming. In industrialized parts of the world, we have been encouraged to fit neatly into the economic machinery, no questions asked: Make money, buy stuff, and conform. But the last couple of years has put a spanner in this works and people of all ages are now challenging the status quo. “The Great Resignation” continues to make headlines as workers demand more respect, better conditions, and, in many cases, work that has meaning and purpose. With research showing that the biggest regret of the dying is not having had the courage to live a life true to themselves, it's not a minute too soon to re-evaluate what we are all doing here.  Savvy corporations and brilliant business minds understand this shift in perception perfectly. To appeal to our evolving sensibilities and values, out are words and concepts such as, “winning”, “competing”, and “targeting” and in are buzz words such as “win/win”, “sustainability”, “purpose”, “balance”, and “alignment”.  But as with everything in this world, an energetic shift creates opposing forces, and the resulting turmoil brings with it this sense of being stuck in a glue trap. And feeling stuck in the age of speed, (a month today would have been years, decades, even centuries historically), is particularly disorientating, confusing, and frustrating because we have a better understanding of what we value, and a clearer picture of how to care for what we value.  And this is why, I believe, we will be continually nudged away from a world driven by the accumulation of things, and the concept of winners and losers, towards a more heart-centered, connected, and purposeful existence. But that's not to say it will be an easy road because for this we are going to need more than willpower, and intellect, to give us the necessary stamina to navigate this new dawn effectively.  We will need to let go of what was then, and place our trust in the things we have come to value most today, all of which have a common thread: Which is one divinely simple universal truth, we are all in this together and that sharing and caring for one another, and our earthly home, is what matters most.   Caroline Phipps www.carolinephipps.com

The Emotional Minefield  Do You Know Where You're Standing? Are you living in an emotional minefield tiptoeing around other people? Or do others have to tiptoe around you? Last month we discussed hyper-sensitivity and the challenges around the giving and taking of offense. So many of you reached out that I thought it might be helpful to take a closer look at some effective ways to deal with the pressures of these emotionally charged days, particularly with the holiday season just around the corner. As previously touched on in this series, the only power we have is being responsible for ourselves. It's simply not possible to fully control how others behave.  Communicate with kindness when you feel hurt to clear up any misunderstanding and avoid triggering heightened sensitivity. And be prepared to listen if you have caused hurt. But this only works if everyone involved can rise above the situation and has a genuine desire to make things better, as opposed to trying to establish righteousness. Forcing somebody into apologizing just to keep the peace when they don't mean it, only builds up resentment, making the situation more volatile and intractable. So, if you are interacting with people with short fuses or others are having to interact with your short fuse, here are some immediate and effective strategies that will help: When emotional buttons are being pressed and the situation is about to blow, walk away. It sounds so simple but putting some distance between you and the triggers is enough to break the cycle. It's our reactive, knee-jerk response that escalates the tension. Buttons can only be pressed if it's allowed.  Don't be too quick to defend yourself unless the circumstances truly call for it such as if you are genuinely in danger. Explain yourself to increase understanding, yes, but don't try to change somebody else's mind or mood. Trying to establish rightness only creates more pushback. Show by example: Behavior is contagious and keeping calm will help defuse an emotionally charged situation. Because acting out needs an audience, anger, outrage, and indignation will only keep it going.  Humor: Much of what we get into emotional fights over is absurd and not worth getting so upset over. Seeing the funny side of an over-blown situation gives it some perspective in the grand scheme of things and allows us to speak the truth in a way that is easier to accept.  It's a truly miraculous thing that we have these powers to create the kind of world we want:  The more understanding we are the more understood we can hope to be. Knowing the universal law that what goes around comes around means that we can trust it to take care of what we cannot. All we need to do is care for our behavior and let the universe do the rest.

Feeling offended, and expressing outrage, is now all the rage affecting every aspect of our lives. And short fuses and limited tolerance have their place, of course, when an offense is serious and damaging. But in my inner elegance coaching practice, there's an increasing hyper-sensitivity to perceived, and real slights that's become the issue dominating relationships and it's causing unnecessary pain and confusion. The emotional tripwires created by this heightened sensitivity are becoming increasingly hard to navigate. The last thing most of us want is to cause offense (particularly with loved ones) and this ironically plays right into the hands of those who understand the power of being deliberately offensive for their own ends. The offense can only be caused when we are quick to take offense. Politicians, for example, understand this only too well. The sting is instant and it's a cheap way to make a splash or feel superior, without having to make any effort. So, why are we so easy to offend? Rudeness, blame, bullying, condescension, discrimination, and shaming, trigger numerous negative feelings, from outrage and resentment to hurt and humiliation. Feeling unjustly treated or judged in this way kicks in our primitive survival impulse, “how dare they?” Read more at carolinephipps.com

The Scars We Create  When Feelings are Bigger than Truth - - In these unsettling times, mental health issues are front and center. Athletes are voicing their struggles with stress and anxiety; we are leaving our jobs in record numbers often citing burn-out and depression and outbursts of disruptive behavior are popping up everywhere from airlines to grocery stores. Today we are encouraged to share how we feel in a way that we never have before. Having grown up in England where such a thing was totally frowned upon, and hence completely unheard of, it's a welcome relief. It feels good to know that we are not alone in our own struggles and that there is no longer any stigma attached to revealing it or to getting help.  It comes as no surprise, with all the challenges we're facing, that in my own life, and work, I am encountering emotional turmoil and overflow of greater intensity than ever before. This is a good thing when the issues are thoughtfully explored, and effort is made to understand more about why we're feeling as we do. Then we can work on channeling all the emotions in healthy and productive ways, such as using our fear of being vulnerable to increase empathy for others. But I am also seeing a disturbing increase in incidents of inappropriate self-expression that are disruptive and even destructive.    Read more on carolinephipps.com  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast With DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE March, 23rd 2017 Resist or Surrender? Knowing When To Push Back And When To Let Go   We are taught that we promote our own suffering when we resist our circumstances, and yet we have a strong urge to stand up for what we believe in. It’s an endless dilemma. So how to know when it’s productive to resist and when it is more effective to simply let it go? Understanding what is within our control and what is not is a great place to start.

Inspiration For An Elegant Week You Have The Answer. Stepping Into Your Elegant Space. We all have an elegant space – a place where we align mind, body and spirit to understand ourselves better. And this understanding unlocks the most powerful tool we have, the answer within us. Monday, November 2, 2015   This is a re-run of the Inspiration for an Elegant Week, “You Have The Answer: Stepping Into Your Elegant Space.”   In 2012, 8 year old Vivienne Harr saw a photograph of two young African slave boys weighed down by huge pieces of rock strapped to their heads. They were holding hands. She said, “they should be playing,” and she vowed to free 500 of them. Vivienne’s mission started with her heart but she also understood that compassion without action wouldn’t be enough. She tapped into her elegant space and found the answer: Setting up a lemonade stand with the help of her parents and younger brother.Today The Make A Stand Movement is a global phenomenon. This amazingly elegant young girl found her own answer. Her example reminds us that we are way more powerful than we know when we put faith and trust in our intuition and act on what we know is the right thing to do. She trusted intuitively that everything we need we already have to succeed.   In this video, “You Have The Answer” we see that the only control we have in this world is the control we have over ourselves. When we step into the silence, stillness and solitude of our elegant space we can access the power of our intuition and discover answers, that we never knew we had, that can reshape our lives and reshape the world.  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCast With DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE February, 2 2017 Cultivating A Sense Of Inner Freedom Is The Only Way To Be Truly Free On The Up & Running Morning Show, DJ Rick Schneider I talk about Freedom: The illusion of Freedom, what it means to be truly Free, and strategies for creating a greater sense of freedom in our daily lives.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE January, 26 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE August, 18 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE December, 15 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE November, 17 2016 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE October, 27 2016 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE December, 15 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE July, 21 2016  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE May, 19 2016  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE April, 21 2016  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE March,17 2016

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE February,18 2016  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE January, 16 2016  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE December, 17 2015

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE November, 19 2015  

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE October, 08 2015 Caroline and Rick sit down to discuss rules. When should one follow, break, or bend a rule? Find out on 98.1 WKZE's Up & Running Morning Show! 

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE September, 17 2015 Building a Winning Team Harnessing The Power of Synergy. From business, to community, to family; how we create, manage and participate in teams makes all the difference when it comes to success.    Rick and I explore the idea that no matter what we’re doing from running a company or playing sports ourlives are all about teamwork. And for many of us family life is our firstexperience of team dynamics. In “Building a Winning Team”, twenty-fourth in thevideo series Inspiration for an Elegant Week, we take a look at the elementsthat make for an ideal team where members share core values but demonstratediverse strengths and some effective ways to make your existing team moresuccessful.    

Up & Running Morning Show RadiocastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE July, 16 2015 Is "Finding Your Bliss" A Myth Or A Reality? Making the Head Heart Connection. We are in a constant search for happiness and fulfillment, but today’s lifestyle presents many challenges when it comes to finding our bliss. But the answer is within us. In this show Rick and I discuss if “Is Finding Your Bliss" a Myth or Reality? We take a fresh look at what we mean by bliss. For many the idea of following our bliss is a concept that is hard to grasp and has no place in busy lives. In this episode we see that bliss is available to all of us, no matter what. And we learn us how to align our heads and hearts to find the answers within us that will lead the way to a more blissful life.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE June, 18 2015 Wake Up! Smell The Coffee A symbolic way to explore how the guilt free pursuit of pleasure in simple things teaches us how to live in the present moment. In “Wake Up! Smell the Coffee” Rick And I explore creative ways to live in the present moment. By taking pleasure in simple moments and things we really enjoy, without feeling guilty and distracted, we can lead a life with more elegance and happiness.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE May, 21 2015 Are You In The Flow? When To Go And When To Say No. Exploring how the power of Flow influences our lives. Sixth in the video series Elegant Inspirations, Are You In The Flow? asks us to question where we get our identity from and explores the idea that “going with the flow” has a positive and a negative side.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE January, 01 2015 Running Away The impulse to run from our problems is as old as time itself and it has, of course, a very seductive quality to it, which is the illusion of immediate relief from the pain we are in. In this how Rick and I talk about the hard work to drop the impulse to cut and run: However, if we can take responsibility for the way we think, the way we perceive and the way we act by owning our decisions, choices and how we choose to view the world, the quicker we can deal with our difficulties and the sooner we move beyond them.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE December, 18 2014 3 Steps for and Elegant Season By slowing down and taking the time to celebrating the simpler pleasures of this busy season creates memories that will stand the test of time. Rick and I talk about how to navigate this maize of a month, with any kind of elegance, can seem like an uphill task when the spirit of the season gets buried in a blizzard of over scheduling and logistics. It’s way too easy to become overwhelmed and exhausted.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE November, 20 2015 Celebrating The Holidays With Inner Elegance By Caroline Phipps The holidays are upon us and for many of us that means getting together with family. In this show Rick and I discuss being submerged in family customs and traditions takes us on a psychological journey to the past: This can feel as comforting as sitting in front of a blazing log fire on a frosty night or as uncomfortable as walking through the snow in bedroom slippers.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE October 16, 2014 Connect The only way we can genuinely connect with one another is to make choices in our relationships that unite the power of the head and heart. In this show Rick and I how the world has become increasingly connected and increasingly disconnected simultaneously. Ironically the more we connect electronically, and the more we see and hear about what is happening around us, the less we seem to comprehend what is really going on.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE August, 21 2014 True Love From The Leveraging Love Series Continually difficult to grasp and impossible to rationalize, we can explore it and tussle with it but we can never completely explain it because it is, essentially, inexplicable. Inexplicable because Love is a feeling and feelings are intensely personal and hard to describe. Science cannot assist us with a neat definition but this is where the arts, music, literature and storytelling come into their own.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE July, 17 2014 Shadow Love From The Leveraging Love Series We are in a constant search for happiness and fulfillment, but today’s lifestyle presents many challenges when it comes to finding our bliss. But the answer is within us. Wherever Love manifests The Shadow follows: In this show Rick & I discuss that romantic relationships can descend into entanglements when partners become threatened by the growth and development of their loved one, fearing it will lead to abandonment. Parents’ Love for their offspring can turn into dis-empowerment and entrapment for the children in an effort to retain emotional control. Children can withhold Love from their parents to gain an emotional, and sometimes material, advantage.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE June, 19 2014 Romantic Love From The Leveraging Love Series For those of us privileged enough to have experienced “falling in love”, its quite simply the best feeling in the world. In this show Rick and I explore the vocabulary people use to describe this indescribable feeling is always the same: “I feel like a teenager”, “I’m floating through my day,” “I’ve found my soul mate”, and so on.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE May, 22 2014 Love Power From The Leveraging Love Series At the present time in our evolution the word Love is banded about all the time: Romantic Love principally but also family Love, Love of country, Love of a cause and so on. Where people go it seems Love goes too!

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE April, 22 2014 Forgiveness The quality of our relationships can be seen as a litmus test of our own attitudes and behavior. For most of us, the dream of wreaking revenge on those we believe have hurt us usually remains exactly that, a dream. Our ego-self constantly reinforces its identity by holding the grudge with a painful pride: “I shall never forgive you for this…” is worn as a heavy cloak of perceived protection from further hurt.

Up & Running Morning Show RadioCastWith DJ Rick Schneider 98.1 FM - WQZE March 20, 2014 GratitudeBeing grateful for what we have affirms that there are good things outside of ourselves that come to us. Shifting your mindset is spiritual rocket fuel and is essential for navigating life with inner elegance. Being in the reciprocal flow of gratitude is quite simply better for us! Feeling nurtured by a benevolent world is a great stress reliever.

Inspiration For An Elegant Week Say It! Ask For What You Want. Not speaking up for what we need is a major cause of unhappiness. But once we see that asking improves our relationships and helps others, it can give us the courage and clarity to speak out effectively. Monday, July 27, 2015 “Say It” looks at why we find it so hard to ask for what we need when it’s one of the main causes for unhappiness and disappointment in our relationships. By misguidedly believing that it’s selfish and inappropriate to ask, we tend to ask ineffectively or don’t ask at all. When we examine how the “ripple effect” of asking allows others to be an authentic part of our lives, and by meeting our needs they met theirs, it gives us the courage, conviction and clarity we need to ask in a way that will lead to a more productive and peaceful life.

Leveraging Love - Series June, 18 2014 Love Power This is the 1st part of my exploration of the Aspiration of Leveraging Love; Love Power Of all of the Elegant Aspirations at our disposal Leveraging Love is probably the most powerful. Much of the circumstance of our lives depends upon where we choose to give Love, where we search for Love and when we withhold Love. At the present time in our evolution the word Love is banded about all the time: Romantic Love principally but also family Love, Love of country, Love of a cause and so on. Where people go it seems Love goes too! Read More

Leveraging Love - Series June, 20 2014 Romantic Love Whether our Romantic relationships are rooted in Rapture or grow out of friendship, there is only one truly effective way to create a union that supports a healthy life. For those of us privileged enough to have experienced “falling in love”, its quite simply the best feeling in the world. The vocabulary people use to describe this indescribable feeling is always the same: “I feel like a teenager”, “I’m floating through my day,” “I’ve found my soul mate”, and so on. So powerful is this force that we simply forget that this Divine feeling never endures. I use the word “Divine” here because it’s my belief that for many of us, Romantic Love is the nearest we get to heaven on earth. But at some point we always come back down. Read More

Leveraging Love - Series July, 11 2014 Shadow Love We can Leverage our Love in many ways and some of those ways have a seamy, shadowy under-side. Wherever Love manifests The Shadow follows: Romantic relationships can descend into entanglements when partners become threatened by the growth and development of their loved one, fearing it will lead to abandonment. Parents’ Love for their offspring can turn into dis-empowerment and entrapment for the children in an effort to retain emotional control. Children can withhold Love from their parents to gain an emotional, and sometimes material, advantage. Read More

Leveraging Love - Series August, 20 2014 True Love Having explored the many ways we Leverage our Love from Love Power to Romantic Love and Shadow Love, we now get to the most elusive type of Love of them all, True Love. Over the last few months I have come to believe it is impossible to fully explain Love. Continually difficult to grasp and impossible to rationalize, we can explore it and tussle with it but we can never completely explain it because it is, essentially, inexplicable. Inexplicable because Love is a feeling and feelings are intensely personal and hard to describe. Science cannot assist us with a neat definition but this is where the arts, music, literature and storytelling come into their own Read More

Elegant Aspirations December, 16 2014 3 Steps For An Elegant Season By Caroline Phipps If the December avalanche of obligations, commitments, shopping, events and parties is threatening to bury you, here are three strategies to utilize from the Living with Inner Elegance tool kit that can help. Read More

Elegant Aspirations April, 20 2014 Forgiveness By Caroline Phipps The quality of our relationships can be seen as a litmus test of our own attitudes and behavior. For most of us, the dream of wreaking revenge on those we believe have hurt us usually remains exactly that, a dream. Our ego-self constantly reinforces its identity by holding the grudge with a painful pride: “I shall never forgive you for this…” is worn as a heavy cloak of perceived protection from further hurt. Read More

Beyond The Gender Agenda - Series March, 14 2015 Many Shades Of Us Exploring Contradictions and Anomalies In Today's Relationships This Article delves into the inconsistencies and confusion that result from the interchangeable roles that men and women play in today's world, using the popular culture phenomenon, Fifty Shades of Grey as an example of the mixed messaging. Read More