Growing Pains Podcast

Warning: Explicit discussion of sexuality. In this episode, we pick up with some listener questions, including questions on imposing morals through politics, the term “woke-ism,” friendship, and masturbation. We talk more about Critical Race Theory, cancel culture, consent, and holding our opinions lightly. We finish by each answering this season's question: What story is your life telling?

In this episode, Anne and Muoki discuss the famed “future spouse lists” that they were instructed to make in their high school years inspired in conservative church circles. We laugh at some audience responses, tally how many people got what was on their shopping list, and share criteria that we believed essential as teens but now make us shake our heads. We discuss the cervical spine challenges of romantic relationships with a significant height differential (gotta have your chiropractor on retainer). We riff about marsupials.

Today we are joined by Manny Cumplido. Manny is a husband, father, pastor of West Newbury Congregational Church, and our hosts' former classmate. Manny shares his experience of becoming a pastor of a new church during the pandemic and preaching his first sermon following the murder of George Floyd. He talks about what it means to be sown in weakness and raised in power, how he understands that exchange in light of his own life, this past year, and most recently, the death of DMX. Manny explains the four thresholds of faith (shout-out Don Everett), and we discuss our shared Pentecostal/Charismatic roots, and how we keep those roots alive today. Find Manny on Twitter: @cumplidomanny Five Thresholds of Conversion: https://vimeo.com/98177104 Book: Don Everts, I Once Was Lost

Today we are joined by Kisuk Kim. Kisuk is a spiritual director, an extrovert, a health tech professional, and a dog owner. After Anne and Muoki recover from their dog-envy, we chat with Kisuk about competing values of self-actualization and success. Kisuk shares about the expectations he experienced growing up in an immigrant family, and the challenges of blending those expectations with the idealism of his college years. We discuss the notion of calling, the emotional pressure of meeting the world's needs, how social media amplifies that pressure, and the struggle of finding the intersection of our influence and our passions. Kisuk drops some wisdom about multigenerational living, and the importance of deliberately working out our values.

In this episode, Muoki and Anne welcome Zack Miller, a long-term missionary to Nazareth with Young Life. We discuss how he found himself doing missions work after college, stumbling into leadership, and the importance of taking responsibility for yourself and for others. Zack is in process of beginning a new project combining soccer development, overseas missions, and leadership training. Check out his project here, and consider supporting: Missionary Athletes International

In this episode, Muoki and Anne reflect on our society's inability to engage meaningfully on race, especially in the wake of recent tragedy. We discuss how our Christian ethics - imago Dei, compassion, and advocacy - can and should inform the way we engage (shout out to Dr. Patrick Smith, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and Miroslav Volf). We talk about the parable of the Good Samaritan and how that applies to dealing with racism, the difficulty with enacting solutions to identified problems, being a guest and a host in conversations with the ideological other, and what it means to live wisely in an unjust world. Episode shoutouts: Dr. Patrick Smith videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uayMyjFUQSc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNsxRD9ed8U https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXu5Xqy_px8&t=2s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzsJNnW4Wzw&t=1996s Charles Mills Lecture: https://youtu.be/78wzAfQu9Mw Systematic Theology: Eleanor Stump: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw1I0DrK6rE&t=1932s Katherine Sonderegger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iRUyIYokgk&t=1295s Miroslav Volf: Exclusion and Embrace Dustin Ward and It Is Time Now LLC: https://www.itistime.me/

TW: Sexual Assault Anne and Muoki are back after a one-week break, and Anne after almost 3 weeks! They talk about the recent death of music and culture icon DMX, and reflect on how his faith journey can inform our own. Anne also leads a powerful dialogue on the topic of deconstruction, what it means to have faith authentically, and so much more.

Dustin Ward is a husband, father, former pastor, and the founder and president of It Is Time, an LLC based in Maine devoted to ending racism and promoting racial equity. Dustin shares with Muoki about the experiences that led him to founding It Is Time, and how that business has given him access that he previously did not have as a Black pastor in White Evangelical spaces. Muoki and Dustin discuss how the American education system has failed to prepare Millennials for the modern economy. Dustin explains the relationship between embracing uniqueness and experiencing belonging. They share about Black identity in interracial marriages, and having biracial sons. Dustin shares his racial equity expertise on the subject of faith-based organizations and other institutions. Muoki explains why everyone is “late” to the race conversation. Connect with Dustin Ward at: Website: https://www.itistime.me/ Twitter: @itistimeme Instagram: @itistimeme Facebook: Dustin Ward

Matthew Brake is a theologian, writer, professor, DC Comics aficionado, and coffee addict. In this episode, Matthew and Muoki discuss identity politics, the decline of public discourse, and all of the dysfunction that ensues. They begin by discussing a piece Matt recently wrote on the resemblance between the comic Final Crisis and the worldview of the Religious Right. He delves into the historical origins of the Religious Right and the schools of thought that maintain it, and he and Muoki offer some critiques of the identity politics of the Left. Muoki talks about the necessity of having public discourse in a way that doesn't instantly devolve into tribalism but seeks greater understanding. Matthew talks about how virtue signaling in relationships often backfires for the Left. Bonhoeffer and #TheSnyderCut get shout-outs. Connect with Matthew Brake at: https://popularcultureandtheology.com/ Twitter: @popandtheology Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PopAndTheology Email: popandtheology@gmail.com

In this mini-episode, we introduce Krystal, our Air Force 1 wearing, Prada bag toting production intern. We also wax a bit philosophical and psychological about the year of the pandemic and how it's shaped, and shaping us.

This week we are joined by Sarah Welch! Sarah is a Certified Holistic Health Coach, Birth Doula, Certified Postnatal Fitness Instructor, wife, and mother, among many other things. Sarah shares with us about why health is important to her, what real self-care is (beyond the occasional night out), and the necessity of self-awareness and community for self-care. We talk about the challenges women face after the life-altering event of giving birth, and Sarah shares about how her body has changed (upgraded!) after giving birth to her two children. Sarah teaches us some new terms (B-HAGs and N-HAGs) and breaks down for us how to make a self-care plan. She explains the Goldilocks Principle and its relationship to resilience. Connect with Sarah on Instagram (@wellnesswithsarahjean), through clean cosmetics retailer Beauty Counter, or through the weight loss program Better Way to Fat Loss.

Today we are joined by Will Halsey! Will is a licensed mental health therapist and is passionate about helping men discover and live into a reimagined, redemptive masculinity. Will shares about his own path of embracing his masculinity, including the unknown aspects, and he offers insights from his practice as a therapist working with men. We talk about rites of passage, cultural narratives, male emotions, anxiety in intimacy, and the epidemic of male depression. Will talks about what becoming a father to a baby boy has meant to him, and he leaves us with a reading list (see below). The Will to Change (Hooks) - https://amzn.to/3rgGPDv Men and The Water of Life (Meade) - https://amzn.to/384x3wU I Don't Want to Talk About It (Real) - https://amzn.to/3bdbrQT Please rate and review, and follow us on Instagram (@growing.pains.pod)! We look forward to hearing from you this season!

DISCLAIMER: We are not financial advisors, and our insights should not be considered professional financial advice. Seek advice from your financial advisor or professional. We are joined today by the proud holder of an official Boater Safety Card, Burton Miller. Burt is a licensed social worker, non-profit worker, livejournaler from 2004 - 2011, and recently, a homeowner! Burton shares with us about his journey into homeownership, starting with his a lot of personal growth in therapy, and down a long road of discipline and sacrifice to build equity and financial security. We discuss resilience, several key steps for millennials to take if they want to own a home someday, and five-second funerals. Find Burton on Instagram (@burtola). Please rate and review, and follow us on Instagram (@growing.pains.pod)! We look forward to hearing from you this season!

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT In this episode, Anne and Muoki talk about Ravi Zacharias's sexually exploitative and violent behavior, and how we should be processing this news. We talk about systemic vs. moral failures, and how they need to be approached differently. We also discuss the importance in centering the victims instead of the perpetrators in these discussions, and why questions of individual formation are secondary to questions about the theology and practices that shape communities.

Recorded Feb 12, 2021. Muoki is joined by his wife Gennie, Laurine Voltaire, and Denicia Ratley. Muoki brings relationship questions from Reddit, and Laurine gives some solid advice about maintaining standards through singleness, Gennie reminds us to take things slow, and Denicia shares about the struggle and gift of not fitting the “traditional woman” mold. Muoki talks about a scarcity mentality in dating and viewing singleness as a punishment, and Laurine talks about her experience mentoring women into embracing their singleness and experience wholeness and healing as single people. Gennie and Denicia discuss the importance of intimate, same-gender friendships.

This week we had the immense privilege of talking with Meg Baatz! We talk about intentional community and relationships - conflict, intimacy, communication, expectations, disappointment, and relational imagination. Meg shares her journey of living in an intentional community, and how this experience has influenced and changed her. Meg is a ministry educator at a nonprofit she is currently in the middle of co-founding (more info coming soon!). This ministry will exist to empower Christ-followers in their local diverse faith communities in the realm of faith, sexuality, and gender. Meg is passionate about empowering people to image Christ by pursuing embodied local community, and lives in Denver, CO, with her spiritual family. Learn more about Meg at megbaatz.com, or connect with her on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Instagram (@meg_baatz). Please rate and review, and follow us on Instagram (@growing.pains.pod)! We look forward to hearing from you this season!

In this episode, we discuss dog sightings, dog names, and podcasting for free. More importantly, we get into what we'll be talking about in Season 2: lived experience. This will always relate back to the theme of Season 1 (identity), but rather than focusing on identity formation, we will attempt to explore the ways we live our identities and how that impacts the world around us. We tease a few topics we hope to cover this season: health & fitness, goal setting, pop-psychology and genuine psychology, entrepreneurship, and work-life balance. The Dunning-Kruger Effect makes an appearance (again), and Kwame Christian gets a shout-out. Please rate and review, and follow us on Instagram (@growing.pains.pod)! We look forward to hearing from you this season!

Today we have the privilege of talking with Muoki's friend and former colleague, Klamesha Richards. Klamesha is a former educator, resident director, and currently works as the Assistant Director of Intercultural and International Life at Carleton College. Klamesha is passionate about equity, hospitality, and people. We get into femininity and talk about how womanhood is assumed, perceived, and responded to in the workplace and in society at large, about the development of feminine identity, including challenges Klamesha has faced, things that have helped her on this journey, and how she understands her femininity today. We end by talking about the pay gap and the factors that contribute to it, and Muoki discloses that he would like to take paternity leave again.

In this episode, we talk more about the origins of GPP, from its inception in Muoki's mind to earlier iterations, to its current form. We talk about several moments that stand out from our episodes thus far, and talk more about relativity, perspective, and grounding (collective) truth. We reflect on our personal challenges and growth in 2020, and on its impact on our generation. We discuss failing well, mindsets that lead to perseverance, and Charles Barkley's golf game.

[DISCLAIMER] We mention suicide and some statistics about men and women respective to that phenomenon. If this is something you have difficulty listening to, it's okay to stop, or take a pause and ground yourself. We continue our conversation with Marcus about millennial masculinity. We attempt to define masculinity and talk about why millennial men seem to feel like they're not measuring up. We talk about the challenge of living out a positive, more versatile masculinity, and how this plays out in fatherhood and in the church community. We talk about how the world would be different if more men attempted to live out redemptive masculinity.

Today we are joined by our friend and former seminary classmate, Marcus Privitt. Marcus is a husband, programmer, Star Wars enthusiast, weightroom devotee, and former pastor. We dive right into a very controversial topic: how our generation defines (or has yet to define) masculinity and femininity. Marcus shares his own story of awakening to and growing into his masculinity, and his fears of how that will be received and perceived. We discuss the crisis of masculinity, including male mental health, and why Jordan Peterson has captured an audience of millennial men.

Gennie Musau is a former missionary, social worker, and college soccer star. She is an early childhood educator, wife, mom, and devotee of Law & Order: SVU. Gen shares how her career trajectory grew out of her sense of calling and God-given gifts, and how meeting and marrying Muoki ultimately changed the ways she chooses to live out that calling. We discuss the tension between having too many expectations (which risks disappointment), and no expectations (which risks a stagnant, directionless life). Gen and Muoki talk about the challenge of merging their goals for their lives and dreaming new dreams together.

Today we continue our conversation about the American Dream. Anne shares how her root canal led to a mini-existential crisis pertaining to the American Dream. Muoki asks the question, “What is enough?” We discuss legacy more in-depth, and what legacy means for our generation. We talk about the realization that we never “arrive,” and finding the balance of contentment without falling into complacency. We attempt to develop a working definition of the American Dream suitable for Millennials, and Muoki leaves us with a gem about creativity. Music by Jack Holloway: jackholloway.bandcamp.com

In this episode, we talk about the Millennial boogeyman: the American Dream. We begin by sharing our respective awakenings to the American Dream and trying to define it according to our generation's perception. Anne traces the historical roots of the American Dream's mythology (spoiler, it has to do with colonialism), and we attempt to hash out why Millennials are resistant to it. Annie Dukes and GK Chesterton get a shout out, and Muoki concludes Part 1 by dropping some wisdom about legacy.

(Recorded November 1, 2020.) We continue discussing Muoki's Wisdom Equation (knowledge + reflection + experience = wisdom), this time talking about what happens when reflection is missing from the equation, and how this relates to the 2020 election cycle. Muoki talks about Hush Harbors in the Antebellum South as places where enslaved people were formed by the Wisdom Equation. We discuss the multiple layers and dimensions of proper reflection, and how Millennials need new rites of passage. Langston Hughes and Dave Chappelle get a shout-out, as do our therapists.

In this episode, we are joined by our friend and former classmate Denicia Ratley, Director of Religious and Spiritual Life at Babson College. Denicia defines adolescence for us, and we each reflect on when we transitioned from adolescents to men and women. Denicia shares about being “a practicing Black woman,” and how identity is a dynamic thing that is meant to be practiced. We talk about living according to others' expectations instead of living according to our own values, the importance of mental health, and how to develop and practice resilience.

Anne and Muoki introduce themselves, talk about their shared love and longing for dogs, and explain the origins of the Growing Pains Podcast. We talk about Muoki's Wisdom Equation and the Dunning Kruger Effect. We discuss the all-or-nothing way that we Millennials tend to construct our identities, how we cultivate relationships that contribute to self-deception, and how to get ourselves out of this trap.

(alternate title: TL;DT: The Twitter Effect) In this episode, we continue with Muoki's Wisdom Equation (knowledge + reflection + experience = wisdom), this time talking about what happens when reflection and experience are absent from the equation. We talk about how this approach to connection and identity has proliferated due to social media (Too Long; Didn't Think), and how it ends up resulting in isolation. We talk about the fears at the root of this mindset, and how to find the courage to move beyond those fears.

Continuing on Muoki's Wisdom Equation (knowledge + reflection + experience = wisdom), we discuss what happens when knowledge is missing from the equation. We share our own experience of growing up in settings where our own, highly subjective, and suggestible experience became definitive. We attempt to tease out the difference between experience as a teacher and experience as the pursuit of an emotional high. We discuss how communities formed around this iteration of the Wisdom Equation tend to be fragile communities, and Stanley Hauerwas gets a shout-out.