Punchline

A backlog episode from a few weeks ago, which also feels like a decade ago. Elon Musk continues living on his own planet, The NFL and MLB try to re-open, airlines are losing millions of dollars, white people wildin’ even during a quarantine, Senator Richard Burr steps down to focus on insider trading, Texas is against voting, old people won’t shut up, and Canada is banning U.S.

Fast-food restaurants are getting experimental , J Crew, JetBlue and Sephora are suffering, Elon Musk named his child after a WiFi password, sports teams are worrying about audience turnout, RBG is the best old person while Joe Biden is the worst, the French copy Americans, Michael Flynn pulls a Beyoncé, the hoes are acting up, and the Police get worse.

North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un may have died this week, but the real news is a white woman in San Francisco annoyed the whole country to find her missing dog. Rats in Chicago are starving, so they are getting small business loans from the government. We roast 4/20 (lol) and Earth Day.

Thats right, more coronavirus free headlines! This week we talk Joe Biden’s running mate, National Horny Day and in related news lawyers showing up naked to Zoom court. We roast Prince Harry and the new iPhone.

Another week of non non coronavirus news! We break down pandas doing it in Hong Kong, ANOTHER new Whitehouse press secretary and virtual strippers on Instagram. We roast Easter and Sourdough (#TriggerWarning hipsters).

This week we bring you all non coronavirus news and focus on the real threat to humanity: Tiger King. We roast Joe Exotic, Jessica Batten, Zoom calls, and going live on instagram. (Ironically this episode was recorded via Zoom due to quarantine, so don't @ us about the audio quality)

Columbus Was A Hipster by Punchline

This week a TSA worker called a passenger ugly, Facebook is still toppling governments, and fascism is trending across the globe. We roast Labor Day Weekend & White Claw. Finally, we chat with New York comedian Usama Siddiquee, who was recently passed at the world famous Comedy Cellar.

This week a Disney employee got punched in the face, Instagram is trying to be less shallow, and Puerto Rico's governor can't take a hint. We roast the new Cats trailer & FaceApp. Then we chat with Chicago musician & comedian Devin Middleton, fresh off his solo show BARS.

This week, California can’t catch a break, Ed Sheeran has a secret wife, there’s a Gator loose in Chicago, and Jeffery Epstein is creepier than you can imagine. We roast Stranger Things, July 4th Fireworks, and the Bottle Cap Challenge. We chat with Chicago stand up comedian Joey Villagomez about his upcoming Comedy Central appearance.

This week Lil Nas X is making music with Gordon Ramsay, Arby’s is making carrots out of meat, and R Kelly feels right at home in Trump Tower. We roast every summer movie re-make, the Dalai Lama, and Boston’s straight pride parade. Finally, we chat with Chicago artist, teacher, and co-creator of the legendary “Shithole” Zach Bartz.

This week, Facebook faces regulation but is still shady, Uber causes traffic in Chicago, T-Mobile & Sprint are having trouble connecting, Hong Kong protesters are in the news but Sudanese protesters aren’t, Drake gets kicked off the basketball court, Kylie Jenner goes too far again, Sarah Huckabee Sanders leaves the White House, and most importantly - a Florida man takes a bath at Wendy’s. We also chat with CBS's "Redline" star McKenzie Chinn on her film "Olympia" and who of the primary contenders she would fuck, marry, and kill.

This week Bill de Blasio became the 23rd candidate for the democratic nomination in 2020, Steve Harvey lost two jobs, Chicago instituted a Netflix Tax and Facebook is paying Interns six figures while NASA pays $16 an hour. We also roast trending topics including Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s baby Psalm, DC making Robert Pattinson Batman, and Grumpy Cat.

This week the royal baby was born (into a world that is ending according to UN scientists), president Trump awarded Tiger Woods the Medal of Freedom, the Pope just now outlawed abuse and a soccer mom was arrested for CBD possession in Texas. We also roast what’s trending including The Met Gala, The Big Bang Theory and Mothers Day.

This week horses are dying at Churchill Downs, Bernie Sanders should be Pete Buttigieg’s Yoda and Uber continues to short workers ahead of their IPO. We also roast trending topics including Avenger Endgame, Game of Thrones, Taylor Swift and white people celebrating Cinco De Mayo.