Secrets with Kate McGwire

Here's a secret, there is no secret. But there are definitely things I did that I can attribute to helping me find love. There is no road map, but there are markers along the way that can point you in the right direction. 

When I was single, married people would ask me, "how hard can it be to meet someone?" I wanted to bitch-slap them on the spot. Now that I am married, I ask, "how hard could it be?" Before you bitch-slap me, push play. 

All my dreams came true and the guilt & shame grew! I have an untested theory that because we waited so long to meet our person we unintentionally take on guilt because we try and cram in all the experiences and moments we missed out on for so long. 

I have been mistaken for my son's grandma. I could be a mom to the other mom's a pick-up. I'll hit menopause before he graduates. And I love it! I love being The Old Mom! 

Timing is a huge piece to the puzzle of finding love! I've always believed this but it makes so much more sense to me now that I realize my husband would not have picked me if we'd met at a different time in my life.   

One of the hardest parts about finding love later in life is letting go of the way we always dreamed it would be. Some of the dreams we had for the way we wanted out life to turn out unfortunately die.  This was a tough episode for me to record. It actually took me numerous recordings over the last few months but I didn't want to skip it. There are things I wanted to address, I wanted to talk about even though it was so hard. 

I claim to be a planner. Nothing about my love story went as I had planned. It's beyond my wildest dreams! Even after my dream of finding love came true I still attempted to plan the next big moment and I'm so grateful that didn't go according to plan! 

It's no secret dating was a real struggle for me. I thought once I found my person I'd be on Easy Street and everything would be simple. The joke was on me! At 40 years old I decided to live with someone for the very first time! 

I crashed into a wall with this podcast this year. Instead of pretending the elephant isn't sitting in the room, I'm going to address it. I want to share with you why I got stuck this year and what I decided to do about it. 

Single parents need loving too! But I wasn't going to be the person to do it. I had a rule. I wouldn't fall for someone who already had someone else to love. Please know all the rules get tossed when you're dating someone who has a kid. 

Until you have the talk about being exclusive, assume he is dating more than just you. And you should be dating more than just him! And you shouldn't be upset about it! With that attitude, there is no need to be spending your time on this Facebook page that goes against everything I believe when it comes to dating.

Love is not a gender thing, it's a human thing. In my mind it was hard for women to find love, but not for men. If they were single later in life it's because they chose to be. This episode shows how small minded that thought is. Men crave that human connection as much as we do and as time races by they feel just as frustrated and hopeless as we do. Well at least the good ones do. 

Nothing in my dating life went as planned. It's only when I stopped fighting it that the plan I dreamed of became reality and so much more! 

Dating always felt out of control for me. I was always reacting instead of being proactive. Then I switched things up and decided to do what was best for me and crazy things happened!  

You can't survive 25 years of being single without picking up a few tricks & strategies along the way to handle being dumped. It wasn't pretty but I found my way through it. 

DON'T SKIP THIS ONE! Yes, manifesting love sounds hokey! I 100% agree with you. Just listen for a short 20 minutes. If anything you'll get a good laugh at the crazy things I did to find love.  

I give this guy a standing ovation on the way he broke up with me. That was the only memorable thing about our time together!

I can't be constantly telling you to have hope and stay positive if I don't talk about the other side of being single later in life. The side that is lonely and not always up for a party. The side we don't share. The side we pretend isn't there and will hopefully go away one day. Today we talk about it! And laugh about it! 

The only regret about my past that I have is that I stayed way too long in unfulfilling relationships. After chatting with my guest & relationship expert, Sandra Wood, I learned this is a struggle for many of us!  Listen to hear you're not the only one. Listen for great takeaways on how to walk away! It's the only way to get to the good stuff! 

There are bad dates, and then there is her bad date! Your jaw will drop when you hear this story! Then you'll laugh out loud. Because that's really all you can do when you hear what he did! 

I've been a wife now for 1 year! And just like all the other years of my life, I've learned a few things. It's been fascinating to see how being single for 40 years has really played a role in my ability to share my life with my husband. There are definitely benefits to finding love later in life and there are definitely a few challenges for a single girl who is now married. 

WARNING: This is cringe-worthy...for me! As embarrassing as this story is, I have to share it. Please listen with love & laughter, not judgment.

If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future you're pissing all over today. Staying focused on the moment you are in does not come easy but my guest tries her best to practice this with every dating experience. She hasn't found her person yet, but she's learning a lot about herself along the way!

My guest has the most beautiful, positive attitude not just about love but about life! She has the bride-to-be glow, which you'll hear but after hearing her story I know she has always been an optimistic person. She never stopped believing and definitely didn't listen to the nay-sayers instead she forged ahead and found love! 

Two divorces, lots of bad dates and she's not giving up! My guest this week looks at her love life in such a positive & hilarious way (as we all should)! Instead of condemning herself for the choices made, she laughs it off & looks to the future with hope. You'll laugh at her crazy dating life and you'll be inspired to keep dating!

It's tough enough being single long after your friends get married. But it's even tougher when your family and your religious background pile on the expectations for something that is out of your control.  Special Guest: Sheli Fulcher Koontz

There are so many steps to dating these days! Create the perfect online profile. Connect with someone who is preferably not a troll. Move from messaging to texting to talking on the phone. Then hopefully you both want to meet face to face. Don't give up now! Go meet the guy! It's just one drink. Just go! 

I have never been good at following my gut instinct in any part of my life BUT in my defense, my gut instinct doesn't always give me all the information upfront. It's usually just a twitch or a tingle that something is off, but I don't know what! 

As far as I know, there are no acting awards given in dating so what's the point of putting in all that effort?

"Who does it really work out for? Give me one example of someone it actually works out for!"  I have a name for you other than Cinderella! I have a story of someone who has found love! 

There are some horrible, unspeakable truths about dating. And it's time to share. This episode is the ugly truth about dating today.

The older I got, the more secrets I kept about my dating life. It's a self-defense move that I have no regrets about. 

Being in a dead-end relationship can be just as lonely as being single. The struggle comes from identifying that it is a dead-end relationship, especially when you want him to be the one so badly! 

At what point do you give up on dating? When is that moment to wave the white flag and surrender? Can throwing in the towel change your luck for the better? 

How much time do you invest in the nice guy that you don't feel a thing for? What are his chances of becoming a grower? 

Hear what it's like to date in the world of social media, online dating, and pandemics from a guy's point of view.  Are they just as frustrated as women are or living it up swiping left & right? 

You're not single because there is something wrong with you. You're single because your person isn't ready for you yet! 

Not everyone needs to hear about your dating life (says the girl with a podcast about her dating life). Be very careful about who you confide in!

Are "The Rules" coming back into play? Are there questions to avoid asking in order to keep your dating life from blowing up? Let's dive in and find out!

Well, that's done. Crossed the finish line. Check that box off my list. Was it worth all the hoopla I dreamed out for so long? 

I thought it was hot and exciting when he said, "let's not tell anyone we're dating." Wrong! Don't ever be anyone's secret, ever. 

I was like a moth to a flame when it came to red flags in my dating life. Game on! Challenge accepted! And it always ended with a crash & burn! 

Stop waiting and wondering where you stand. Flip the power switch and take control of your dating life! 

How is love supposed to come into your life if there is no room for it? You need to make a plan to not have a plan...this will make sense in 30 minutes.  

Why is it when you break up, your ex is suddenly the best version of themself? They're not. It's an illusion. 

If you want this as much as I did, I get how you're feeling! I've been there! I can relate and you are 100% justified in your feelings!

He commands a room, he's charming, he's emotionally unavailable and I had to have him!

Helping him realize that he can't live without you doesn't work. You can't create light bulb moments for him, no matter how hard you try. 

Dating can be easier to navigate if your eyes are open. I choose to date with my eyes shut and my head in the sand for way too long! 

Our married friends constantly ask, "Why can't you just meet someone?" I would if you can tell me where he is! Are they hiding? Is there a secret stash of available men somewhere? Tell me! 

This is not a podcast about abstinence so let's get it out there. It's time to have the sex talk! Is it like a fine wine and only gets better with age or does it only complicate the already complicated world of dating over 35?