The Gargoyles

How comfortable are we with breaks? In this episode we read about people going through different struggles where the common theme is the desire for a better relationship with this word. This word can mean so many things, and we explore the potential benefits that we can attain from a variety of contexts. Whether that is taking breaks to consider/reconsider relationship dynamics, breaks to recharge, breaks to listen: Do we even know how to acknowledge when our body and mind are requesting us to slow down? Are we aware when we are overwhelming others? Even the people causing pain need a break to realize what their issues are. We also discuss situations where breaks are unpleasant and unwarranted and the importance to set boundaries and know when NOT to stop. Bottom line is, you need to have your mind at ease in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle as you keep moving forward. Join us in this fun conversation and let us know what you think! Thanks for the support! Check our links - linktr.ee/gargoyles Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/ Shout out and congratulations to Windila! - IG: https://www.instagram.com/windilabalbone/ Check out Thought Catalog for poetry and thinking pieces - https://thoughtcatalog.com "Please Forgive Me When I Break Your Heart" - https://bit.ly/3vSslvQ Speakers: Bianka Bencosme (Co-host) Tomás Guerrero (Co-host) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Relationships as an umbrella term can take many forms. Exploring them as such could offer us clarity into certain individual aspects, and the same goes when exploring the subcategory of friendships. There isn't an exact science or timeline to follow that could tell us when these deeper bonds get to develop. As we've seen it, it's usually an accidental measure that tends to happen within specific contexts. 3 long time friends sit in the recording booth and analyze this phenomenon. Taking a look at different types of "entry points" that tend to plant the seed of potential. Developing friendships and sustaining them requires mental work and energy, but the benefits of letting people in can go as far as expanding parts of own we love and parts we weren't aware existed. The 3 of them share what they've seen work for them and others, and contextualize it to this cyber-connected pandemic reality, where communities can develop without the need to leave the comfort of our homes. They also explore how the topic of love factors in as one of the pillars for establishing long terms bonds. Just like any other form of relationships friendships are complex, becoming aware of the components that make it, can help us strengthen what works and re-structure what doesn't. Our links - linktr.ee/gargoyles Read Thich Nhat Hanh's How To Love - https://bit.ly/3tljVuR Support small artists! Roobi's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/roobigaskins/ Shout out to Loretta Ross. To know more about calling-in culture, check out this podcast episode: https://spoti.fi/33oifpT Speakers: José Alexander (IG: https://www.instagram.com/momose13/ ) Salim Chagüi (IG: https://www.instagram.com/salim_chagui/ ) Tomás Guerrero (Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/hitomaag ) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Another day another controversy. Just recently the internet was ablaze and had a lot to say over Lil Nas X's music video and persona. We decided to analyze this situation and the rage it caused in some due to the demoralization and romanticization of certain Christian elements. Cancel Culture can often feel as the modern version of the witch trials, where there's less pondering and more condemnation. The freedom of art expression seems to be tethered by certain socially constructed limitations where its gatekeepers forbid the type of conversations that invites debate. Tomás Guerrero, a queer folk with strong religious background explores with co-host, Bianka Bencosme, the double standards and shaky foundation of belief systems that this type of behavior implies within the Christian context. They go in depth analyzing what the Bible considers as sin and find some problematic assumptions that are usually made because of lack of research. Why do some prioritize the scrutiny of certain beliefs over others? What is the problem with dealing in absolutes? Is there a differentiation in the support of BIPOC men in hip hop vs. BIPOC queer men in hip hop? Is the internet an accurate representation of interpersonal behavior or is it aiding towards the perception of a certain toxic cycle? Come explore with us all these ideas and let us know what you think! Our links - https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/ Shout out the The Nile List - https://www.onelinkup.co/theNileList Shout out to Talaya Monea! - https://www.instagram.com/talayatheehoodhistorian/ Speakers: Tomás Guerrero (Co-Host) Bianka Bencosme (Co-Host) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

We made it a year into the pandemic! As the pandemic continues and the hardships of the day by day keeps us going, we tend to forget that some of these struggles are fairly new. This speaks volume on our capabilities for adaptation, which should be acknowledged and celebrated. Many of us have faced very particular struggles ranging from mental health to surviving school within this new context. No matter your performance, the most important thing is that you have made it. You are alive and that's enough. Co-hosts Bianka Bencosme and Tomás Guerrero take a journey of retrospective and introspective. They discuss what they've learned so far and how these lessons have influenced aspects such as: the social atmosphere, the grief and acceptance of unexpected results in life goals, and the behavior of our society and how it's shifted throughout the months. Finally, they take a look at the pandemic today and take that information to make projections for what lies ahead. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/ Speakers: Bianka Bencosme (Co-host) Tomás Guerrero (Co-host) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

As part of our Women History Month celebration, we invited two great folk who identify themselves as women to share some poetry and talk about women in writing. The readings and the topics that arose from them created some amazing conversations thanks to the wisdom and experience from each speaker. When finding meaning behind words, everyone has a unique perspective on how to interpret them. That's the beauty of writing, it's all about feeling. Sociologist Shaundraneka Gills and French Studies Windila Balbone discuss with co-host Bianka Bencosme the stigma folk experience around expressing feelings in writing and how therapeutic this medium can actually be. The readings ranged from self love and hope, to depression and generational trauma, with in depth discussions in the creative process and reason behind each piece. Finally, they each talked about their struggles when writing becomes hard and shared advice on what to do to find creative flow. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/ Shout out links: Two Straight White Men - https://www.instagram.com/twostraightwhitemen/ Celebrate 845 - https://www.instagram.com/celebrate.845/ Hillary Beaudouin - https://www.instagram.com/hsbeaud/ Speakers: Shaundraneka Nakia Gills (IG: https://www.instagram.com/shaunakills/) Windila Balbone (IG: https://www.instagram.com/windilabalbone/) Bianka Bencosme (Co-host) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

There is no better way to cap off Black History Month than by celebrating it! Countless explorations can be made when looking at this history. Colonization represents an era of centuries old physical, emotional, and cultural trauma. This is something important to recognize even when looking at it through the lenses of glory. It is because of this same trauma that we were able to highlight the evolution and progression of the black experience as we know it today. Latinx (or latine) folk's identity is in great part black history as well. Afro-latinidad is both Latin American and black history history even if it often gets unacknowledged. We analyzed afro-latinidad from its triangle trade roots and brought up many of the overlapping cultural experiences influenced by the African diaspora. We also took a tour through music history, observing with many examples phonic and solid African diaspora elements that have been incorporated into the most popular genres of today. Finally, we brought the conversation to the present and spotlighted some black excellence who are continuously doing great work. There are many ways to look at history, focusing on it only as it was initially narrated to us is reductive. History is meant to be revisited, rebranded, and reshaped! Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/ Shout out to Talaya! (IG: https://www.instagram.com/talayatheehoodhistorian/ ) Speakers: Salim Chagüi (IG: https://www.instagram.com/salim_chagui/ ) Bianka Bencosme (Co-host) Tomás Guerrero (Co-host) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Black history month is great time for retrospective, introspective, and exploration. This week we decided to do that by reading real stories posted on Reddit that deal with topics that affect black communities. The stories allowed us to unpack certain issues with a heavier focus. One of these being the ignorant approach of the generalization of body features when referring to black people. We found inquiries such as: why is saying things like "I don't like black girls" or "all black people have big noses" problematic? Is there harm in POC giving themselves the license to saying these things because they are part of these communities? With human rights advocate Salim Chagüi, we discussed the importance of gaining cultural humility when having these conversations in order to acknowledge the racist and anti-black ideologies we tend to carry. Accountability behind closed doors was another subject we exchanged views on. When prejudice and/or discriminatory language is being spoken by our friends or family members, why is it important to speak up? Being the only person to confront these issues and the scrutiny to face after can be a scary feeling but healing and change won't come about without some friction. We also spotlighted some ongoing fundraising stories of black lives facing matters of mental health, queer identity in conservative spaces, and xenophobia that currently need more support. GoFundMe Stories we read: -Help a Black Lesbian Heal: https://bit.ly/3sa7ORe -Immigration Fund for a Hard-Working Mother: https://bit.ly/3pI4Gdz -Check out this Twitter thread to find more people who need our help: https://bit.ly/3bt2yBq Our links - https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/ Speakers: Salim Chagüi (IG: https://www.instagram.com/salim_chagui/) Bianka Bencosme (Co-host) Tomás Guerrero (Co-host) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

F-boy. We all know it, most of us have met them or become it. This week we sat down and asked ourselves: how do we feel about this word? Our incredible guests started off by helping us expand the term to include f-girls and finally the all inclusive f-people. The conversation led us to explore different perspectives in which we talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly based on our personal life experiences. We didn't try to criticize this cultural term nor to put it on a pedestal, but we certainly found opposing views within it which leaned towards one or the other. What is the history of the word? Do we all share the same notion of its meanings? What is the difference between a f-person and other common terms we use to describe similar behaviors? What are the common patterns that identify a f-person? Is it possible to participate in this type of culture in a healthy way? We also told stories spotlighting women and queer experiences where the individual found themselves on either end of the spectrum.  What is the ultimate message? Communication is key, and no matter what we always grow from these experiences.  Our links - https://linktr.ee/gargoyles  Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/  Speakers: Ángel Rodriguez (IG @angelfelixrodriguez) (YouTube: youtu.be/DAvBWfbb__A) María Pichardo (IG @mariapicgr) Bianka Bencosme (IG @biankabencosme) Tomás Guerrero (IG @tomem.os) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

To close out the series, we decided to explore the topic of investing. We brought out two individuals driven by finances and listened as they shared how they became motivated to create solid long-term game plans with money. Some might ask: How do I invest? Where do I even start? or even, what am I doing wrong that I keep losing money? Supported by the financial literacy of technical analyst Kerry Hart (IG @kHart), and biotech entrepreneur Joswell Valdez (IG @jv.live), we examined some of the most effective entry points to start investing. ETF and mutual funds offer a lot of similar features for investing, but how do they differ and which option would be a better suit for your needs? Moreover, we discussed the importance of research and confronted some harsh realities about investing. Additionally, we explored other investing tools such as crypto-currency and what we think makes it stand out from other types of currencies; the role of venture capital in fundraising and the acquired interest in supporting black and latinx owned businesses/companies as of recent. If you're not actively thinking about investing, maybe this episode could serve you with the inspiration and the tools you need to get started. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Shout out to health workers and the work they do! The secret link: https://amzn.to/3ri6OKm Art logo by The Indigo Lauren - https://www.theindigolauren.com/ Speakers: Joswell Valdez (IG @jv.live) Kerry Hart (IG @kHart) Quanita Kendrick (IG @quanitadiana) Bianka Bencosme (IG @bencosmebianka) Tomás Guerrero (IG @tomem.os) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Budgeting. The idea of managing your money could be fairly new -might even feel foreign- to some adults who were not taught of the importance of it through the conventional educational system. Even as some of us try to prioritize it, it is easy to get stuck trying to figure out the correct way to do it. Frustrations might arise seeing how some of our peers have an easier time with it as we keep making mistakes or forgetting certain steps. What is the deal? In reality, there is no a one-and-only true path to budgeting. We sat down with financial advisor Cesar Gomez (IG @nyc_mindset) and savings expert Brandon Marino-Zheng (IG @chinorican), as we discussed the psychology behind such an essential task. We shared different tips and methods to tackle budgeting and acknowledged that personality and mindset play a big role in deciding how to go about it. In life, we all experience certain level of struggle when it comes to abstaining from spending. Which is why it is important to figure out what works well for you. Are you a person who likes handling cash? Or, do you prefer using credit cards? Are you familiar with online banking and its perks? Do you know all your options? While developing our thoughts, we also shared opposing point of views on credit scores, debts, and some of the myths of budgeting. Some things might resonate with you more than others and that's the beauty we found in it while discussing this topic. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Special thanks to our sources: -Check out The Chris Hogan Show podcast for more financial advice: https://www.chrishogan360.com/show -Dave Ramsey's book Total Money Makeover for getting a grasp on handling money. Shoutout to Cesar's non-profit organization Operation Halo, which works on mini projects cleaning public areas in NYC and the tri-state area. Follow/message to volunteer! https://www.instagram.com/operation_halo/ Speakers: Brandon Marino-Zheng (IG @chinorican) Cesar Gomez (IG @nyc_mindset) Bianka Bencosme (IG @biankabencosme) Tomás Guerrero (IG @tomem.os) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Passions, projects, creative burn out, the state of the world today, and an announcement. Welcome back!!! Thank you for the amazing artist Lauren Rodriguez who made our amazing new logo. Check her out! https://linktr.ee/theindigolauren Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Speakers: Quanita Kendrick (IG@quanitadiana) Bianka Bencosme (IG@biankabencosme) Tomás Guerrero (IG@tomem.os) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Debt, almost a trigger word for some people. Whether you are a young student applying for colleges or a family person owning a house, most of us have had to deal with this in one way or another. The necessity of more money than our capital can offer is a reality most of us experience through many facets of our lives, taking many different shapes and languages depending on the specific needs we encounter. With our wonderful guest of the week Amos Margulies (a high school teacher with vast experience with recent immigrant students), we explore the complex topic of student loans and the importance of having a clear structure of a career path before taking such debts. In addition to that, we talk about credit, the most influential credit bureaus in the U.S., and the relationship they have with debts when assigning a credit score. We also explore a counter argument with Quanita Kendrick who has studied proven ways to create a lifestyle without depending on credit and debts despite our capitalist society. This is the first of three episodes where we are going to explore different aspects of money. Tune in next week when we talk about budgeting! Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Speakers: Amos Margulies Quanita Kendrick (IG @quanitadiana) Bianka Bencosme (IG @biankabencosme) Tomás Guerrero (IG @tomem.os) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Time to celebrate our 10th episode milestone! We decided to do so by reading from a subreddit where people share morally ambiguous stories. The stories are presented by people who find themselves in situations where it is unclear to them who is in the wrong (the narrator, or the person interacting with the narrator). Although admittedly so, from the stories we selected we found it pretty easy to see who the oppressors were, they still enabled for many interesting conversations about boundaries of love, family, and partnership. How much comfort should you sacrifice to please a partner? Should formal attire in formal events (such as traditional weddings) be respected at the expense of sexual expression? Does family always offer the best advice? Should we trust family is always looking for our best interest? Special announcement!!! For the next three weeks we are dedicating a series that will talk all about money. We separated into three different categories (Debts, budgeting, and investing) and for each episode we'll have guests with expertise on each area. For more details, listen to the last few minutes of this episode. Shout out to the podcast "Bobo and Flex" for providing us the inspiration to have such a fun conversation. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Speakers: Salim Chagui (IG: @salim_chagui) Bianka Bencosme (IG: @biankabencosme) Tomás Guerrero (IG: @tomem.os). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

"Without changes there is no life to live." Whether we actively think about this or not, we experience change constantly. Some changes mark chapters of our lives and others happen as we go on with our daily routines. The question is, how do we go about adjusting to the consistency of these changes? No change is the same as the other, and while we might be able to swiftly transition in some cases, seeking and enjoying such changes, we also experience unpleasant and unwarranted ones. Drawing from the recent situation that sparked between Bella Thorne and OnlyFans and how often times we experience changes we do not choose. Is all change ultimately good? Is there anything we can do to neglect them? Is it worth it to try pull-back and remain stagnant? Quanita Kendrick & Tomás Guerrero discuss the positive and negative aspects of change. The discussion also explores the powerful tool that comes from having the right mindset in the need of change. However, spotlighting the importance of acknowledging that unfair systems exist and how self determinism can clash with the dominate political thought. Donate to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital to help them on their fight against children's cancer: https://www.stjude.org/donate/donate-to-st-jude.html Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Speakers: Quanita Kendrick (IG @quanitadiana) Tomás Guerrero (IG @tomem.os). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

There is so much to say about this global and human rights crisis. The flaws of the U.S. system has allowed for many demographics to be at risk or to experience homelessness. Economic hurdles, physical and mental health, addiction, race, sexual orientation, are a few of the many factors that can contribute to many people's situation when becoming homeless. The stigma around people living through these experiences has allowed for many to distance themselves and create bubbles separated from these realities. Josh Guerrero (IG: @bjoshg), as a social worker with over 10 years of experience in many fields regarding social justice, joins us in this conversation as we explore the many different circumstances that are affecting the homeless population and people at risk of becoming homeless in the U.S.. Continuing last week's conversation examining another aspect in which COVID-19 has affected a situation for the worse. We also provide some information on how you can easily contribute in helping ease the collective pain which is homelessness. For more ways to help visit: https://endhomelessness.org/ Check out our friend Misbah Awan's fundraiser (IG @mebemisbah). She's struggling with homelessness and any kind of help (even sharing the link!) would go a long way: https://www.gofundme.com/f/college-graduate-gone-homeless-during-covid?utm_source=customer&utm_campaign=p_cp%20share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&fbclid=IwAR39YHLnu9qmk1mXt7o9-KWDw4cqqL_vCBvBVlxGBB0AZIs7E8Vohq0YdCA Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Speakers: Josh Guerrero (IG: @bjoshg) Bianka Bencosme (IG: @biankabencosme) Quanita Kendrick (IG: @quanitadiana) Tomás Guerrero (IG: @tomem.os) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

As we head towards the last half of the summer, many have managed to find joy and work through this very challenging reality. However, it is worth questioning: are we dealing with this situation in the best and most healthy way that we can? Sometimes it is necessary to step back and reset. Go back to the basic and check in with ourselves and others to see how we are doing and what steps we are taking to help flatten the curve. Have we been successful? What are experts saying about the current state of the world? Does it match our personal perception? Let's have a reality check, but also explore the many good things that have come out of these crazy times. Special shout out to Tymmyt (IG: @tymmyt) and Noshows (IG: @noshows) for lending us their music. Check them out! https://linktr.ee/TYMMYT?fbclid=IwAR3X1_TEAZljK71MkW_fu0A4bALo5sf9voWN_g8aSdRNIk-D4IbcFL6qRgs Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Speakers: Quanita Kendrick (IG@quanitadiana) Tomas Guerrero (IG@tomem.os). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

It is often that we find spaces where expression of masculinity becomes a set of rules to follow where the boundaries of one's emotional intelligence creates toxic relationships in a never ending generational loop. The relationship between masculinity and femininity has been painted as opposite energies when in reality they work best in synergy. Join us as we explore the basis of the social construct that is toxic masculinity, visiting different avenues in which it affects people on physical, emotional, and spiritual levels. We also discuss the importance of holding accountability and recognizing that there may be a lot of work to do on ourselves. A vast topic for sure that left us eager to continue this conversation at a later time. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles Speakers: Bianka Bencosme (IG@Biankabencosme) Quanita Kendrick (IG@quanitadiana) Salim Chagui (IG@salim_chagui) Tomas Guerrero (IG@tomem.os). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Alright! Let's talk self-care. It is interesting to see that the practice of it is almost trendy, but the definition of it varies depending on who you ask. Is it alone time? Is it yoga? Meditation? Perhaps therapy? Which one is it? Well, all of it and more. Self-care is what you think is good for you (and the many aspects that makes you You!), and here are many ways in which we can apply it to our lives in the most organic way possible. Bianka and Tomas explore the different shapes that self-care can take and discuss the many misconception people may have about it. We also have a little bit of fun and dive deeper into some of these specific practices! It is our first month anniversary! We want to thank everyone who has been listening and supporting us. It has been a beautiful journey and this is just the beginning! Follow us on Instagram at: @Biankabencosme, @Quanitadiana, and @Tomem.os Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Alright y'all, you better be ready for this one. Our 2 special guests this week Jose Alexander III (IG@momose13) and Salim Chagui (IG@salim_chagui) join us to pitch some ideas for made up products as we play the Shark Tank game wrapped around some silly ass energy. Rules are simple, if you make a deal you get a point, and you get a point for each person you get a laugh out of as you pitch your idea. The loser's punishment is to freestyle about a topic that is very uncomfortable to say the least but definitely made the ride worth the while. We also shared some of our personal writings as we took breaks between rounds, which brought out a range of topics that we'll explore further in later discussions. Make some tea, bring Mary out, and join us in this fun and messy ride. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

"Freedom." That's what college represents for some people. In a place where mostly unsupervised youth gathers for academic purposes, other kind of dynamics tend to be present in these environments. It is often that students find these intersecting identities that their peers bring to the table as they interact with each other. Do people experience sexual liberation when they go away for college? Do students who commute to college instead get to find these spaces? Do these intersecting identities encourage sexual exploration or does it become peer pressure in some cases? Whether you're applying for colleges and want to have an idea of how the environment develops in these different settings; or an undergrad trying to grasp your current experience by listening to people who might relate to your perspective; or even if you finished your undergrad career and want to listen through the lens of retrospective, join us as Bianka Bencosme (@IGbiankabencosme), Quanita Kendrick (IG@Quanitadiana), Agustin Diaz (IG@agustin1to), and Tomás Guerrero (IG@tomem.os) take a look at this complex topic through their personal experiences. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Welcome to our second episode! In this one we discuss the topic of polyamory and polygamy with 2 special guests Salim Chagui (IG@salim_chagui) and Ruqiyah Mukarram. As part of the ethical non-monogamous community in different parts of the spectrum, they provide insights that should be very interesting to anyone listening. Why is it such a polemic topic? What kind of dynamics develop within polyamorous relationships? How does the factor of jealousy play in these dynamics? And much more. Special thanks to Quanita (IG@quanitadiana) for always a great co-host! Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support

Welcome to our podcast! Quanita and I dive deep into some of the aspects of colorism and how it has transmuted and adapted in today's culture. Make some tea, find a place where you feel comfortable, and join us in this conversation. Our links: https://linktr.ee/gargoyles --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-gargoyles/support