Patrick Whalen(The Movie Buff) and Nick Karner(The Cinephile) discuss movies inside and out. More info available at www.nickkarner.com

When Shawnee Smith's name popped up, I thought: Oh shit. Could she be the horny Kansas whack job Nick and Tom run into? LAWS YES! SHE IS! 31 Days of Horror: Day 27 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Damnit! Give Miguel his dead baby! You think those breast surgery horror stories are gonna write themselves?! 31 Days of Horror: Day 26 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

You'd haff ta be dumbah den lobstah bait ta go down that rahd. Or in this case, that basement. 31 Days of Horror: Day 25 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Don't call me cookie and I won't call you cake. TAK! 31 Days of Horror: Day 24 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Ted Levine's a fine actor, but that Buffalo Bill voice is mighty distracting: “Officer! The Mangler ate her!” “Erhm...was she a great big fat person?” 31 Days of Horror: Day 23 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Hoo boy, did I get chills when he said the Dolores Claiborne mess blew over. I was like OOOOOOOOOHHHHH! HE SAID IT!!!! 31 Days of Horror: Day 22 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Sure, that big time newswoman from O-ma-HA might've uncovered some nefarious wrongdoings, but I so wish they'd contacted a true crime podcast. Those are the real heroes. 31 Days of Horror: Day 21 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

The whole thing is less an evil coven of murderous children movie than a moody indie drama with occasional horror elements woven into the fabric of its occasionally intriguing narrative. 31 Days of Horror: Day 20 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Remind me never to give a telekinetic abomination toys he can use to “voodoo doll” his victims with. It doesn't end well. 31 Days of Horror: Day 19 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

They also must have amazing sex because they really seem to hate each other yet can't bother to find the door. 31 Days of Horror: Day 17 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

You're telling me Michael Ironside couldn't take care of this whole thing with a cruel jape and a double-barrel shotgun? 31 Days of Horror: Day 17 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

“Just touch him. I'll do the rest.” Ummm...excuse me? 31 Days of Horror: Day 16 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

You could do far worse than blow-up sex dolls as road markers. 31 Days of Horror: Day 15 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

You can't subtitle a movie “The Gathering” and not put highlanders in there somewhere. Can you imagine The Kurgan slicing down rows and rows of corn and evil children? Awesome. 31 Days of Horror: Day 14 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

There's an unmade sequel where the “normal” half-brother of the deliciously devilish cult leader plays for the Chicago Bulls. 31 Days of Horror: Day 13 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Everyone should get a lollipop after being murdered. 31 Days of Horror: Day 12 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Welp, at least we got The Wacky Molestation Adventure episode outta this dreck. 31 Days of Horror: Day 11 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Damn! Bob Carradine's kind of a hardass. If only little Hilly knew that in his Lambda Lambda Lambda college days, he was a FUCKIN' NERD! Shoot a pickle, dweebo. 31 Days of Horror: Day 10 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Nothin' better than the smell of a new car, 'cept maybe...well, you know. 31 Days of Horror: Day 9 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Damn greaser punks. They wouldn't stand for this hooliganism at Delta House. 31 Days of Horror: Day 8 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

In a supremely un-scary movie, that bit near the end is nevertheless horrific. Nothing's more terrifying than a school play. 31 Days of Horror: Day 7 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

The Parodies Have Won. 31 Days of Horror: Day 6 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

You ever wake up and just feel oh, so very very vestigial? Or maybe you fret over Elijah Wood stealing your energy? I do…and it tears me up inside. 31 Days of Horror: Day 5 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Special and ridiculous in its own unique way, Cat's Eye is quick, painless, and like a cozy kitteh settling on your chest to take a long snooze. 31 Days of Horror: Day 4 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

I liked this a lot better in 2016 when it was called Lights Out. 31 Days of Horror: Day 3 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

My wife leaned over during the Jordy Verrill segment and inquired: Real talk. How high was he when they shot this? 31 Days of Horror: Day 2 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Max O. is like the dented hubcap of a non-possessed Plymouth Fury. Chrome-plated and jaggedly askew. 31 Days of Horror: Day 1 https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

Total prequel to Ghost. Schiavelli's playing the exact same character and why he didn't enlist Swayze to help him reap vengeance upon that ghoulish cabal of creatures is a blown opportunity if there ever was one. Oh, you need to say goodbye to Demi Moore? How ‘bout fucking with some literal monsters? S03E10

I kinda needed some more backstory on what the hell product that lunkhead pretty boy was hocking. It's in a can, Teri's sporting a harpoon, and it's huge in Japan. ...are we talkin' Dolphin Cola here? Tuna Sprite? Mountain Dolphin Dew? S02E06

Oh, Malcolm's a connoisseur, you can tell. A twist of lime always goes best with a bloody cocktail. Squeeze of lemon? Don't make me chortle. S03E07

McCarthy chanting 'ghoulie ghoulie ghoulie' instantly transported me to that time he had to contend with those rambunctious spirits of dark mirth in Ghoulies Go To College. Damn Chug-a-Lug House. S04E14

You wouldn't catch me buying oysters from Michael J. Pollard. I don't care how horny I get! S05E10

Alright ya buncha cattle rustlin' cowpokes! Time ta peddle yer potions cause it's backdoor pilot time! S04E08

John Astin might not be very (snap snap) creepy, but he's definitely (snap snap) kooky. S03E05

I'm sure Anthony Zerbe dreamed of one day becoming a dashing matinee idol, but with a malevolent visage like that, he appears to have been bred in a secret laboratory to make his onscreen partner's lives miserable. S06E05

If Sound of Metal starred an asshole... S02E08

John-Boy! How could you??? S02E15

31 Days of Horror: Halloween Revenge is so very, very sweet, especially if you're the restless soul of a swaggering, razor blade wieldin', tough as nails 1940s hustler with a golden tongue and a diamond dick (allegedly). https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 30 So, how'd you like getting bent and twisted like a gotdamn multi-tool, David Alan Grier? (BIG SNAPS) HATED IT! https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 29 Now that we've seen his work, it's clear based on his paintings that Daniel Robitaille was a pioneer in the field of Glamour Shots. https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 28 I imagine Candyman sitting in traffic, sweating and stewing under that heavy coat while listening to The Kingfish implore him to “chill” and “have some gumbo,” just aching to find the nearest pay phone, frantically dial with his good hand, and proclaim across the airwaves: YOU ARE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!!! https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 27 Of all the toughs Bernard Rose could've picked, he went with Ted Raimi. I guess being from across the pond, the motorcycle riding, leather jacket-wearing bad boys he's used to are of the shrimpy variety. https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 26 “She's bad news. I ain't no punk or nothin', I'm 100% man, but hey. That bitch scares the shit outta me.” https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 25 She's really serious about that grape jelly. https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 24 Not too many blaxploitation zombie flicks out there, so I'll take it. https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 23 Did Sean Whalen even NEED makeup to look emaciated? Dude's been looking haggard since that ‘Got Milk' commercial. https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 22 Keefe, Keefe, Keefe. You're gonna burst a blood vessel laughing that much! https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 21 The real horror is the cabin sizes, am I right??? https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 20 Those Amazonians sure channeled Wayne Brady when Bill initially abstained from imbibing that mysterious liquid. “If you do not drink this, then we have a problem.” https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 19 Hmmph! Some King of the Cosmos... He didn't even remember the vampires moved into the city AFTER prohibition! DUH! https://www.nickkarner.com/blog

31 Days of Horror: Day 18 This ho is so ugly, she can scare a hungry bulldog off the back of a meat truck! https://www.nickkarner.com/blog