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Audience member and Patron "Fuckin' Tom" (and the lovely and charming Mrs. Fuckin' Tom) patiently tolerate multiple stories about leaks while Mr. Hatch, Eileen Yulick, Dick Rexholes and Research Department shake a few dribbles out of this one.

Quaranteam – Book 1: Part 10 Andy Rook is given a gift as restitution.. Based on a post by CorruptingPower, in 25 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. Andy pulled his boxers back on, then his t shirt. "Well, it's entirely up to you, obviously. Take your time, get to know everyone, me included, and we'll play it by ear moving forward." The two walked out of the room, leaving Nicolette to tend to Sheridan. "Everyone's so warm and friendly, and you're not at all like that prick Covington." "I did try and tell you that in the letter." "And that's another thing! An honest to god letter, explaining everything for me before I even came out to talk to people. Who does that sort of thing?" "A writer, clearly," he chuckled. "It was a very good letter. But I think it was Niko and Ash who convinced me that everything would work out for the best," she said, hooking her arm into his. "They're still a bit worried about you, but I told them that grief is a monster you kill with a million tiny cuts, not one big one." Andy nodded. "It gets the better of us all sometimes. But you're getting along with the ladies alright?" She swatted his arm with her calloused fingers. "They're lovely, and Niko was nice enough to fill in all the details that your letter left out. I'd apologize for my first impression, but clearly that was that bastard's fault and through no fault of my own. If I had my way, I'd have been at the Olympics right now, but they're obviously being delayed until next year." "Then you should definitely not stop training," Andy told her. "Just because you're here right now doesn't mean you aren't going to get that chance next year. Talk to Jenny, let her know the kinds of dietary specifics you have for your meals, and then get back into the swing of things. Lauren's a trainer for the 49ers, so she can probably help you out a bit here and there." Piper smiled at him, waving a hand. "I'll talk to her, but we've got the team's trainer on Zoom speed dial at this point. I just hope there's enough space around New Eden for me to work out. God, are they really calling it that?" Andy shrugged. "Rich pricks have pompous tastes." "Speaking of which, I heard from Ash last night that you've got another girl showing up today." He rolled his eyes a little bit. "I swear, if I could find a way to monetize gossip, I'd be the richest man ever. Yes, there's another woman coming by today. One of the poker players, Nate Watkins, was supposed to bring someone over earlier in the week, but his son had already imprinted her while he was off playing poker. I told him it was fine, but he insisted his son needed to be punished for it, so apparently the son will be bringing his newest girl over for me today. Whole thing is a colossal fuck up if you ask me, but whatever. She'll probably show up, not be interested in me, and I'll redirect her back to the center." Piper giggled, shaking her head. "You really don't know a thing about how people work, do you Andy? Alright then, I'm off. I need to go get changed and get a run in. You're right,  I've been going too easy on myself during the pandemic, so I need to get back out there, and a run around New Eden will give me a chance to scope out the town." "There you go. Just remember to hydrate, and have fun." She kissed him on the cheek and headed back towards her room, as Andy headed downstairs, going into the kitchen. He'd worked up quite an appetite this morning. "Can I get you something, sir?" Jenny said, cleaning up the dishes from some of the girls' earlier breakfasts. "Yeah, can I get one of those weird French ham and cheese sandwiches you made the other day, Jenny?" She nodded with a smile, pushing those large oval glasses back up onto her nose. "One croque monsieur coming right up." Her oak colored hair flipped as she spun around and moved towards the fridge. "Did you speak with Nicolette this morning, sir?" "I did, and I'm sorry that I made you all feel uncomfortable, Jenny. It won't happen again." "We like feeling like part of the family, sir," she said, as she started to make the sandwich, "but that simply felt like it was going too far. Just keep us a little at arm's length, and everyone will be perfectly content. We don't mind the girls talking with us all the time, but you're the Master of the House, and, well, we prefer it remain that way." "Heard, understood and acknowledged, as my friend used to say. Oh, do me a favor and make sure Sarah eats some lunch today? You'll probably find her in the downstairs central living room, face glued to a book." "Finally told her she can read your next work, did you, sir?" "Apparently nobody told her it was in the house until I mentioned it this morning." "Very good sir. I'm sure she's having the time of her life, and she never felt like that before." Andy gave her the side eye, and Jenny began laughing. "You leave the masterpiece that is 'Dirty Dancing' out of this, Jenny." "Yes sir. Sorry sir," she said with a smile that made it clear she wasn't sorry in the least. After lunch, Andy headed upstairs to put proper pants on, then retreated to his study and worked adding more to the next Druid Gunslinger novel, although if he was entirely honest with himself, he was doing more editing than actual writing. The editing process was important, however, and he needed to trim some of the excess fat he'd been introducing to the story for a while. His editor had, on more than one occasion, accused him of "flavor bloat," where he would write pages and pages and pages of descriptives with nothing actually happening, and Andy was determined not to get such feedback on this manuscript. Early in the afternoon, Emily poked her head into his office, and the cats immediately hopped up to greet her. "So sorry to disturb you," she said, her British accent ensuring she could do no such thing, "but there's a Benny Watkins at the gate saying he's got an appointment to meet you today. Nathaniel's son I assume? Nicolette's just buzzed the gate open, so perhaps we should go out front and meet him?" He sighed, closing his laptop, nodding. "Yep, let's go see what this whole mess is about." As they walked upstairs, Emily peppered him with questions. "Do you have any idea what it is young Mr. Watkins has in store for us?" "His father, Nathaniel, gave me a little bit of an idea, but not all that much, so I have a feeling I'm going to be just as surprised as you are." "Nathaniel seemed like a rather nice man, for the short time I spoke with him. Not at all how Sarah described Mr. Vikovic." "She didn't like Gregor?" "It wasn't that she disliked him," Emily said as they reached the front door. "She just said he didn't talk very much, whereas Nathaniel seemed quite pleasant and conversational." They opened the front door just in time to see the Watkins family limo pulling up in front of the house. Andy felt a little bit nervous, but Emily reached up and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "It'll be fine, love," she said to him. "Let the man keep his pride." After the limo parked, the driver, a large Israeli man who looked like he could kill Andy with an olive fork, moved to open the back door. Nathaniel Watkins stepped out first, a wide smile on his face. "Ah, Andrew, so glad to see you and Miss Stevens are getting along well. I had hopes that you two would take to each other." "He's an excellent man, Nathaniel," Emily said to him. "I never had any doubts about that." "Yes well, let me first introduce my son, Benjamin. Benny, get out here." Benny stepped out of the car, and Andy could immediately sense why Nathaniel wanted to knock him down a few pegs. The younger Watkins was dressed in several designer fashion labels, all expensive, but none of them matched even in the slightest. Benny's hair was cut short, and he looked like he trying to grow facial hair, but the man was too young to make a proper go of it, and it all just looked wrong. The boy was wiry more than fit. "Hello Mr. Rook," the young man said, staring right at Andy with resentment. Nathaniel's face made it clear that he knew this whole experience was going to be a struggle for the younger man, but also reinforced the idea that this was punishment for his son. "Are you going to apologize to him?" "I'm sorry I took your woman, Mr. Rook," Benny said, but his tone conveyed anything but regret or remorse, almost as if he was trying to goad Andy by repeating that he'd taken something from him. "Hannah dear, would you mind stepping out now?" The last person to emerge from the car was a short teenage Asian girl, dressed in an almost embarrassingly large overcoat, her dark hair in a ponytail with blonde stripes in it, an orange scrunchy holding it in place. She was shorter than both Nathaniel and Benny, around the same height as Emily, and her face had a smug grin on it. "Oh my god, it really is Emily Fucking Stevens. Shoots. I'm totally gonna be a sister wife with Emily Fucking Stevens. This is so fucking rad," the girl said. "Now Hannah," Nathaniel said, "I know you weren't particularly keen on pairing up with Benny, so let me ask you, would Mr. Rook be more to your liking?" Hannah looked Andy up and down, then nodded. "Definitely. He's fit, he's cute, and if he can make Emily Fucking Stevens happy, I don't see how I could possibly be let down," she giggled. "Then why don't you go join Mr. Rook, my dear?" Nathaniel said, while handing Hannah an envelope. "I'll take my coat back, however." Hannah slowly opened the coat, and Andy suddenly understood that while the coat might have been partially for his benefit, it was mostly to rub it even further in Benny's face. Underneath the coat, she was wearing a white, orange and black cheerleader outfit that said 'wildcats' on the front of it. One thing that captured the eye immediately was that Hannah was very well endowed. Her tits were large, almost straining against the uniform and whatever sports bra she had on underneath. She was very much bustier than most high school cheerleaders were, but it absolutely worked for her, her legs in long black stockings beneath the surprisingly long skirt. Andy remembered cheerleader skirts being more daring in his day, but this one hung down to her knees, the stockings disappearing up within. She had a rounded face, but still seemed quite athletic, despite her incredibly well-endowed chest area, and a large silver cross hung on a chain, resting on her collarbone. "You see this, Benny? These gigantic titties of mine I've caught you drooling over so many fucking times, you asshole? This toned ass you tried to get me to shake at you? These athletic thighs you were trying to sneak looks at? You're never gonna get any of it," she said as she handed the coat to Benny, making sure the boy got a good look at her in the outfit, before she skipped over to Andy, grinning the whole way. As soon as she reached him, she threw her arms around his waist and pressed her massive tits against his side, like two pillows crowding against him. "I'm Andy's tiggo biddy cheerleader slut now, you fuckin' perv," she said, sticking her tongue out at Benny, whose face was bunched up in frustration. Based on that look, Benny had clearly seen Hannah in this outfit many times, and fantasized about her again and again. Andy remembered that Nathaniel had said the boy had made multiple passes at her, and that she had rejected each and every one. "I'm gonna fuck his brains out until he can't even stand upright. But you? You ain't never gonna get nun a this. I hope you fuck off and die angry." The girl was clearly still upset about the boy's responses when she'd continually rejected him. "Now, Benjamin," Nathaniel said, "you're going to take out that envelope I gave you earlier, and you are going to read it aloud." Benny reached into the chest pocket of his designer jacket and pulled out an envelope, opening it, starting to read, but not aloud, trying to scan through it as much as he could, his eyes growing wider and wider. "It says what happens if you don't read it aloud, Benjamin," Nathaniel stressed. The younger man cleared his throat and started to read, hatred seething in his voice. "Firstly, as part of the punishment for my actions, I, Benjamin Watkins, am losing a portion of my inheritance that my father had planned for me. Active immediately, my father is hereby giving 40% ownership of Inner Light Investments to one Andrew Rook. When my father passes away, I will also receive 40% ownership of Inner Light Investments, and my father's wives will each receive 1% ownership. Secondly, as further part of my punishment, any and all educations that Hannah Nakamura wishes to receive for the rest of her life will be paid for, in full, by me, Benjamin Watkins. Thirdly, half of my two hundred million dollar trust fund is being transferred in ownership to one Andrew Rook, which he will have full access to immediately, in the form of cash, stocks and bonds. Finally, any retaliatory actions by me, my partners or my friends, against Andrew Rook, Hannah Nakamura or anyone else in Mr. Rook's circle of family and/or friends, will result in my immediate forfeiture of the rest of my trust fund to Mr. Rook, as well as all Inner Light Investments stock set to pass to me upon my father's death. Failure to read this letter aloud will be considered a retaliatory action. With this, I have paid my price in full for my transgression except for one final thing." He looked over at his dad. "That's where it ends. What's the final thing, Dad?" Nathaniel Watkins then slapped his son across the face as hard as he possibly could, knocking the boy to the ground. "There is one rule you will learn comes first and foremost in life, boy," he said, pointing a finger at the young man who had started to cry on the ground. "You do not fuck with the money, and until you have earned some on your own, I am the fucking money in this house. By stealing what didn't belong to you, you have cut off one of your own legs and will have to learn how fucking precarious your situation is." "But Dad!" "Don't you say another fucking word, you sniveling little shit. You should be thankful that Andrew was so understanding about this. His insistence that this didn't need to be made a big deal over is the reason you're still even in this fucking family. You aren't losing that money to him; you're paying it to him for being kind and courteous enough to let you keep the other fucking half of it. If he hadn't been so generous, I would've thrown your ass out of my house, my family and all of New Eden for your treachery, taking a woman who wasn't yours at any point at all. She was delivered to me, and I had promised her to Andrew, and instead, you stole from both myself and him, making me dishonor my promise to him." "Dad, it was only some bitch!" Nathaniel Watkins slapped the boy again, just as hard, if not harder. "For the next month, that 'bitch' is going to be your Mistress, you goddamned brat. Everything that woman, Deborah, says to do, you're going to do, and if you don't, you are fucking done in this family. I have clearly failed to raise you properly, and that's on me, but if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that you certainly do enjoy the lifestyle that you currently have, so if you want to keep even a little chance of keeping it, you are going to let her order you around like a goddamn pet. You're her bitch now, and if that means you have to wear a gimp suit and a ball gag for a month, so fucking be it." "It's not fair!" the young man wailed, tears running down his bruised face. "Fair? Fair?!" Nathaniel bellowed so loudly Andrew was afraid the man would strike his son yet again. "When I was your age, I was working three jobs to save up enough money to pay for housing while I got my education. You've never done a day's worth of hard work in your life. You've enjoyed the fruits of my labors, and you've spit in my eye every step of the way, so now you're going to learn what it's like to pay the cost. Get in the fucking car, before I change my mind and cut you out entirely." The boy glared up at him, but then crawled into the back of the limo, his sense of self preservation having won out over his pride. Nathaniel sighed, and walked over towards Andy, while the man's driver took two suitcases out of the trunk of the limo, clearly Hannah's things, bringing them up to the front door of the house. "I'm sorry you had to witness all that, Andrew, but now you know what kind of trouble my boy has been to me over the years." "Hey, better this than you or I having to going all John Wick on him." The bearded man laughed. "You know, at this point if you told me you were secretly a master assassin in the Before Times, I might just believe you." Andy laughed. "I wasn't, but don't fuck with my cats." "Ah, but that's just what a master assassin would say to throw me off the track," Nathaniel laughed, tapping at his temple with one fingertip. "All of the details about the transfer is in the envelope I gave to Miss Nakamura here, and you simply need to have your finance manager contact mine." Andy frowned in amusement. "I don't even have a finance manager, Nathaniel." "Then mine now also works for you. His name is Zack Burchelli. I'll call him on the limo ride back and tell him to expect your call. He takes his fee out of your investments, so it's in his best interests for him to do well by you, and I'll make sure you get the same deal I have." "Are you sure about this?" Andy sighed, feeling a little guilty of depriving the boy of so much of his inheritance. "I mean, we only met this week and you're just giving me a hundred million dollars." Watkins rolled his eyes, grinning. "It's only money. I'll make loads more. Besides, if it helps me reshape that worthless son of mine into a decent human being, it'll all be worth it." "Deb'll do that," Hannah said to them. "She's baller, and putting her in charge will teach him some humility. The money'll be the carrot to her stick, but most def she's gonna beat him stupid with that stick for the next month." Nathaniel smirked and gave Hannah's head a pat. "I told you that you'd like this one, Andrew. She's got spirit. Getting dressed up in her old Woodside High School cheerleading outfit was her idea, by the way, to really stick it Benny. As I said before, she should technically be a freshman at Stanford right now, but the university is closed until the pandemic passes. I have no doubt she'll be a cheerleader there as well. And you're fine with the last thing, dear girl?" Hannah nodded. "It'll be dope. I'm sure Andy won't mind, and if he does, well, I'll change his mind," she giggled. Andy turned to look at her, and the Asian girl just beamed up at him with a toothy grin, almost daring him to ask, but he decided not to. "You really didn't have to go to such lengths on my account, Nathaniel." "Again, let me stress this, it wasn't on your account, Andrew, only to your benefit," Nathaniel said, shaking his hand. "And I think I put in enough warnings that it shouldn't come back on your and yours, but if it does, well, you'll suddenly be even more wealthy, and my son will have lost everything. Oh! And before I go, I spoke to my friend over at Working Title, and they're eager to get things moving forward on a Druid Gunslinger movie, especially if you might have Sarah Washington and Emily Stevens attached for parts. They're talking possible franchise, you know, especially since you're alive and still writing more of them, because that means they won't run out of source material any time soon. That's a value add as they say." "Sarah would swallow her own fist to get that role," Emily said with a smile, "so thank you again, Nathaniel." "No problem at all, my dear," he said, shaking her hand as well. "I'm mostly just glad to have settled this with only my son's pride being wounded. I hope we can part as friends, Andrew," Nathaniel said, moving to shake Andy's hand one more time. "It's refreshing to see someone so salt of the earth here, and we're all the better for it. Emily and Hannah are very lucky ladies." "Friends it is," Andy said. "We can make it a point to have lunch or dinner once every couple of weeks." "I'd enjoy that very much. Now, time to take Benny back to Deborah, and see what she has in store for him. I'm hoping it's a chastity belt of some kind, but it is, as I said, her decision." "Make sure you have her take pictures, so if you need to, you'll have evidence to use against him later. Should be a reminder not to cross you further." Watkins smirked, tapping his temple again. "You're always thinking, Andrew. I love it. Ciao!" With that, Watkins slid back into his limo and the driver closed the door behind him before getting back into the long vehicle, slowly driving it off the property. "You know, you generally don't see limos that much these days," Emily said to him. "That's because they're chintzy AF," Hannah said. "So you DTF right now, or what?" "Look, Hannah, just because you're here doesn't mean you have to stay here if you don't want to," Andy started, but then yelped a little bit as Hannah's small fingertips closed around his groin though the jeans and boxers, squeezing his cock. "M'kay, lemme break it down for you, Andy," she purred. "I am horny like you would not fucking believe, so maybe I'm not making myself clear enough. I kinda turn into a little cock crazed bimbo when I'm too fucking horny for my own good. You got three choices right now. A) You can fuck me right here and now on the porch. B) You can take me inside the house and fuck me right there in the entryway. Or 3) you can take me into the house, up to your bedroom and fuck me there." "Being randy also apparently messes with your indexing system, Hannah," Emily giggled. "Oh, there's also option D) all of the above, but the rumor is that doing any one of the first three will knock me on my ass so I can't do the rest." She blew a stray bang of blonde hair out of her face dismissively. "Sounds like total bullshit to me, though." "I can't help myself, Andrew," Emily said, sliding her right hand down the front of his pants, having to work with Hanna just a little bit, so that she could get her fingertip across the head of his cock, getting a bit of that glistening precum onto her finger as she lifted it out. The small British girl then moved around, sliding her body in behind Hannah's, the two close to the same height, although Hannah was a little bit shorter, Emily's hips pressing up against the cheerleader's, pinning the girl's body between Andy's and her own. "Wrap your arms around him in a great big bear hug and I'll prove to you that you aren't ready for this." Hannah again dismissively blew air out of her mouth, shooting Emily a skeptical look over her shoulder before she dutifully wrapped her arms around Andy's midsection, holding onto him as best she could, before Emily pushed her fingertip into Hannah's mouth, making the cheerleader get her first taste of Andy, priming her. If it hadn't been for Emily's arms pinning Hannah against Andy, the cheerleader would've immediately collapsed to the ground in violent orgasm, but as Emily had her trapped, Andy instead got to feel Hannah's whole body experience a personal earthquake, her face scrunched up tightly, an extremely high pitched squeal shredding through the air, and he could feel the girl's thick nipples suddenly harden, pressed right against his side, even through the layers of fabric. After several seconds, the Asian girl started to breath again and looked up at him, her brown eyes watering with tears but a broad smile on her face. "Holy fuckballs it's fucking true," she whimpered. "I thought I knew what orgasms were like, but I've never felt anything like that in my life. I think I just touched God." She licked her lips, lifting one hand up to rub the back of her hand against her eyes, wiping away the water from them. "And I want more. Fuck it, I gotta have more, like right fucking now." Her other hand had moved back to his cock again, rubbing against it. "No," Andy said. "We're going to take all your stuff inside, and up to the bedrooms, and we're going to give you a bedroom of your own for the time being, and while we're walking you up and getting you settled in, you can tell us a little bit more about yourself. Then, after a little bit, we'll take you into the main bedroom and get you imprinted." "But I  " "Your other choice is that I can make you wait until after dinner," Andy said, trying to be as authoritative as he could. "Which would you prefer?" "Sooner, sir," she grumbled. "Excellent, let's take your stuff in and you can tell me and Emily all about you." "Whaddaya wanna know?" she said, grabbing one of her suitcases while Andy grabbed the other. Andy had taken the larger one, so he didn't feel bad about letting Hannah carry one herself. Even rolling it along, the larger suitcase was more like a steamer trunk than a practical travel suitcase. "You lived in California your whole life?" Andy said, as they walked into the house. She shook her head. "Moved here about five years ago from Hawaii after my dad's company closed down and we had to move. Dad's second generation Japanese American, and mom's pure blood Hawaiian, but I think she was still glad to get off the island. She said she always knew everyone everywhere she went, and wanted to go someplace we could blend in more. We moved to Woodside when I was 13. Dad's a UX engineer for Playtronics and mom teaches third grade." They headed up the stairs, starting to walk down the hallway along the collection of bedrooms. Andy had to stop and check, finding the first completely unoccupied one, leading Hannah into it. "And what are you going to Stanford for?" "Premed," she sighed. "I'm still debating if I want to get into pediatrics or be a neonatal specialist, but I'll totally have time to figure all that out, considering it's, like, totally a billion years in school, so good on me for having that choad pay for it all." "Nathaniel said you were Benny's tutor, and that the boy tried hitting on you several times." "Fuckin' perv didn't like being told no, and he even got handsy one time, so I decked him, and he went crying to daddy over it," she grumbled, moving to put her smaller bag next to the dresser in the room. "But daddy told him that girls get to say no, and he never tried getting grabby again, but he kept on talking shit." Andy rolled the trunk over as well, placing it between the bed and the dresser. "Nathaniel said you made a go at him as well." Hannah giggled a little bit, rolling her eyes. "I mean, kinda, sorta, sure, I guess. He was separated from his wife at the time, and I knew it would piss Benny off so much, I think I just wanted to see if I could get away with it, but his daddy said no, and he eventually unseparated from his wife, so I guess it all worked out. I was mostly just being a brat." "And you know you can't fuck other men any more now, yes?" Emily asked her. "I mean, I guess," Hannah shrugged. "I thought that was just bullshit too, but if that first thing they told us at the base is true, then I guess all of it is, which means if I sleep with another dude, I'll die, right?" "That's our understanding, but we've certainly never tested it," Andy said. "But the rest of the stuff? About needing to fuck? About it giving you the best orgasms of your life? And that it'll keep you safe from the virus? All that's true?" Emily grinned. "I can speak from personal experience that whether it's biochemistry or natural talent, Andrew has made me cum harder than I even thought was possible." "How many women am I gonna have to share him with?" "There are nine other women in the family currently, four of whom intend to marry him, two of whom have decided simply to remain sexual partners, and three of whom are new enough to still be as of yet uncertain of what they want for their futures," Emily said to her. "There are also three women on staff, who are sexual partners of Andy's as well, but prefer to keep that relationship more professional, enjoying a level of distant removal from the family." "What's that mean?" Hannah asked, her face scrunched up in confusion. "It means I like it when the Master orders me around," Nicolette said, poking her head into the room, "and that the cook and the gardener are lovers, but understand they have physiological needs they have to have tended to in order to stay alive. Hell, the gardener's a lesbian, but Andy's cum still makes her cream herself, so she's willing to drink it. Hey, I'm Nicolette, the house maid." She held out her hand to shake Hannah's. Hannah took it and shook it, before shooting Andy a suspicious look. "You make the French maid actually wear a French maid's outfit?" Nicolette giggled, which made the Asian girl's head spin to look at her. "He's told me multiple times I don't have to wear it, but I like it too much to stop, just like I like calling him Master, when he told me I don't have to do that either. But I just love the way he still blushes a little when I say it, so I know he likes it, don't you Master?" she said, giving a little curtsy in his direction. Andy was sure he was blushing a little, so he only smiled slightly. "No comment." "Told you," Nicolette said, poking Hannah in the side. "Just be yourself in what you want, tell him that and he'll probably give it to you, barring a few exceptions." "Oh yeah?" Hannah said, perking up a little more. "What's on the no fly list?" "He's a bit squeamish about being forceful or inflicting, but he'll do it up to a point, although he's never gonna hurt you," Nicolette said. "Uh, what else did Niko tell me?" "So I see Niko's the one with the big mouth," Andy chuckled. "Well, her and Ash told me a lot, so I can't remember which one said which. Oh! No inflicting pain on him, but I think Ash was just joking when she said she wanted to try and put nipple clamps on him," the maid said, giggling again. "She suggested it to me, and I politely declined." "The strap ons in the house are just for the girls to use on girls, not on the Master, although I don't think anyone's asked him that directly." "Niko did when she had a few drinks in her, but I shut that down right quick." Hannah nodded. "So big daddy's ass is exit only, but is he willing to have a go at ours?" Nicolette smiled broadly and gave an over exaggerated nod. "Oh yeah. In fact, I'm a little disappointed he hasn't had a go at mine yet, especially after we all heard Niko's first time not too long ago. And Taylor's." "Enjoyed it, did they?" Emily asked. "Taylor was pretty loud, but holy shit, Niko was loud enough the neighbors might have heard her, and they're at least a mile away. I asked her about it the next day and she said it the greatest sexual experience she'd ever had in her life. Said it made her cum even harder than she did when she was imprinting, if I could believe that." Nicolette licked her lips, looking at Andy. "So, needless to say, I'm hoping the Master'll take a crack at my ass sooner or later. I'm sure he's noticed me bending over a lot more as of late." Andy had turned a darker shade of red. "Well, you should've said something, Nicolette." "But it's so much fun watching you blush, Master," she said, batting her thick eyelashes at him. "Well, you've got an open invitation to my ass, Daddy," Hannah purred. "Mine and Sarah's as well," Emily said, "although you will need to go slow with us. We're, ah, both unaccustomed to it, but anything good enough for Niko is good enough for us." "Nobody's had my ass either, Daddy, so you've got a whole world of eager virgin assholes to explore," Hannah giggled. "Well, I didn't say mine was untouched," Nicolette said, "but it's still ripe for the Master's taking." "That's, good to know?" Andy laughed. "Oh, and Andy's not into bestiality or watersports, thank god," Nicolette said with a dramatic laugh, "because I'd have to be the one cleaning that shit up." Everyone laughed a little bit at that. "Everything else is fair game, though?" Hannah asked. "Well, if there's something else, I'm sure he'll tell you before you get too far down the path," Nicolette said. "If nothing else, the Master is remarkably straight forward." "He's also still in the room," Andy added, amusement on his face how they were talking about him in front of him like he wasn't present. "How many more women are you going to add here?" Hannah said, pushing the trunk up against the side of the bed. "Well, the banquet hall table holds sixteen people, so last night, I figured I was going to add just two more, but Nicolette has informed me that she, Katie and Jenny don't wish to be at our table any more, because it removes the level of distance they want, so I suppose it'll probably be five more, and I'll just have to tend to the needs of two to three women every day." Andy laughed a little. "I mean, there's worse ways to pass the time." "How are you going to pick them?" "I haven't really picked anyone," Andy said with a sheepish smile. "I took a test, several months ago, and based on that, they've just been sending me people. Although Emily told me that if I wanted to, I could apparently just ask for someone, and there's a good chance they might send them to me." Hannah looked down at her hands and then looked up, a conflicted expression on her face. "Can, may I make a request?" Andy's head tilted to one side. "I mean, you can certainly ask. The worst thing I can do is say no, so might as well ask." "Can I ask you to request someone specific for the house? Would, is that forward of me?" "It sort of depends on who you're wanting me to request, Hannah," Andy said. "I feel a little odd requesting anyone, honestly, so if you have someone specifically you want me to bring into the house, I'm going to need a reason for it." That made the Asian girl hesitate for a moment. "Can I think about it for a little bit?" "Sure," Andy said. "I expect the soonest we would see anyone else show up would be next week, and it's probably just going to be one, maybe two people. After next Friday, though, who the hell knows what's going to go on." "What happens next Friday?" "The news breaks, but let's talk about that later. It'll do your head right now. I would've talked to you about it before, but Emily went ahead and primed you already, so I imagine that lust is bubbling up pretty fierce right about now." "Sorry not sorry?" Emily said to him, a pixieish grin on her darling face. "So he can make a go at you here, Hannah, if you want to wake up alone tomorrow morning, or we can take you to the main bedroom, if you're okay waking up surrounded by other people." "Where are you sleeping, Emily?" "Oh, I'm always going to be sleeping with Andy. Always always always." The British actress had a tendency to say things three times in a row if she wanted to drive home a point particularly emphatically. "I'm going to take one of the bedrooms and turn it into a personal study, but I want to be sharing a bed with Andy all the time unless circumstance demands I be away from him for a while, on a film shoot or something." "Are there going to be more Dagger Academy movies? I don't like how they ended with you losing Eduardo, the love of Dahlia Hairtrigger's life, and her having to do her last year at the Academy alone?" "Well, poppet, I'm afraid there are no more novels to adapt, so unless E. F. Winston decides she wants to write more of them, it's quite unlikely. I'm hoping to be part of the cast for the films based on Andy's books, though." "Oh yeah!" Hannah said, looking at him. "Mr. Watkins said you were a writer, but I've never heard of the Druid Gunslinger books." "They're aimed at a slightly older audience, I think, but I'm sure Sarah will love to tell you all about them." "Who's Sarah?" "Another of Andy's soon to be wives. Sarah Washington. Maybe you've seen her in movies?" "Wait. Wait. 'Ballerina Badasses' Sarah Washington? That Sarah Washington is gonna be my sister wife?" "Well, she's certainly here," Emily said with a laugh. "She's downstairs reading Andy's most recent book right now, which I very much doubt we can pry her away from." "I've got so much to learn and discover here, but yeah, let's go to the main bedroom. I feel like it's getting hard to think, so let's go before I can't keep my head clear." "Sure," Andy said, "off to the main bedroom." "Nicolette, can you come with us?" Hannah said. "We're going to need a hand briefly." "We are?" Andy said. Hannah flashed him another broad as miles grin, nodding. "You'll see soon enough! Don't rush your surprise." She grabbed Emily's hand, and then pulled her along, as the four of them started to walk down the hallway. The girls walked several steps behind him, and Hannah whispered into Emily's ear first, making the British woman giggle, before whispering into Nicolette's ear, the maid taking a turn giggling. "Oh you're wicked, girl," Nicolette said. "I fucking love it. You've definitely got a wildcat here, Master." "It says so right here on my tits!" Hannah laughed. As soon as they got into the room, Hannah handed her cellphone to Nicolette. Emily leaned in and whispered into Hannah's ear, which made Hannah gasp and blush. "Oh god, yes! You do you, girl! I fucking love that!" Emily's face broke into a wide grin like she'd just eaten a canary. "Well, it's your show, girl, so do what you want to." She then moved over to whisper into Nicolette's ear, and the maid immediately started giggling all over again. Hannah reached up and grabbed the back of Andy's neck and pulled him down so she could kiss him, and it was sloppy, her tongue almost wanting to lick every inch of his mouth, before she pulled back. "So I can do anything I want? It's okay if I drive?" Andy laughed, shrugging his shoulders, spreading his hands. "Within reason, of course." "Oh, it's all reasonable, and enjoyable," Hannah said, before she grabbed Andy's shirt and pulled him around the room, finally settling on the big armchair, pushing him to sit down. She slowly slid one knee up on one side then her other knee up the other, straddling him. "I'm sure I'd be a shitty stripper, but I've never met a boy who didn't want to do this." She tugged up the cheerleading top, as well as the bra, and let those massive tits spill free, a tidal wave of tan flesh with large aerolas and thick stiff brown nipples. Hannah had at least double Ds, but Andy wouldn't have been at all surprised if they were even larger, and was nearly overwhelmed when she leaned forward and mashed them right up against his face, bringing her arms forward so he felt like his head was being engulfed by them. " Umm. That's it, daddy. Get a face full of those big ol' titties of mine. Some day soon Imma let you fuck'em. Boys have been asking me for a titfuck for years now, and I've always said no, but for you? Goddamn, I'm wet just at the thought of it." Her fingertips smoothed across his shaved head, and when he tried to pull back, she only pulled his face forward even more, holding him there until he thought he was going to suffocate. Eventually, though, she let him pull his face back, wrapping his lips around one of her nipples, suckling hard on it, teasing it with his teeth, which made her give a dramatic shiver, her fingernails raking against the back of his head. "But I gotta be yours first, Daddy," she said, slowly lifting one knee up, drawing it in under her before rolling in a twist, landing her ass in his lap with a heavy whomp, her back to his chest, feeling his cock straining against the jeans. "So don't you move and let your newest fucktoy do her thing." She scooted back into him so she could reach her hands down and unbutton his jeans. "All the boys at school said I was a wicked cocktease, but that's just because I didn't fancy most of them. The guys I hooked up with, though?" She leaned her head back and whispered into his ear. "I was the biggest fucking whore for them imaginable," she moaned. "Blowjobs, handjobs, missionary, doggy, cowgirl, in a car, in a bar, on a boat, near some goats. I made sure my boyfriends never went home with blue balls. A couple of them even begged me to stop, saying they were afraid they were shooting dust," she giggled. "Not one of them made me cum like just the very taste of you did though, Daddy." Andy reached a hand up, sliding it to cup one of her tits, trying to do his best to contribute, but Hannah had him pinned in place pretty good. "Now let's see what your slut's got to work with. It felt kinda big. Is it kinda big?" she giggled, then finally fished his cock out from his unzipped jeans and boxers, not pushing them down, just making them tuck underneath his cock and balls. "Holy fuckballs!" she gasped. "You thick cocked monster, Daddy! That is one big, beautiful, fat fucking prick! Oh god, I hope it tears my slutty little teenage cunt right the fuck up!" As soon as she had it free, she lifted her hips up to draw her skirt up, moving it higher and higher until Andy could feel his cock being rubbed along the one of her stockings. "I know I should wait and take it slow, but fuck it!" Her hand pulled his cock back just enough as she slammed down, forcing her tight young snatch to swallow up his cock. Apparently she hadn't put on panties beneath that skirt. She was easily the tightest cunt he'd ever felt, her body quivering and squirming atop of him, and he was almost worried that he'd hurt her until that giddy laugh burbled out from her throat. "Oh my fucking god that is some good fucking cock!" she shouted. "Where has this goddamn cock been all my life?" Hannah reached up and pulled the scrunchy from her hair, tossing it aside to let her mane hang loose, shaking her head to make her hair fall in her face for a moment, as she took one hand and pushed her skirt down her legs a little, her other arm folding across her chest. Andy heard a click sound, and tried to peek around Hannah, but she leaned over and made sure he couldn't get a good view. "Uh uh, you stay right fucking there, and you let me ride this giant fucking hog of yours until you give me what I want, and don't you doubt for a fucking second that I want it, oh hot shit do I want that fucking cum." Andy was trying to figure out where to put his hands, but Hannah was already moving, tugging the skirt back up again, lifting both of her hands back to rub along his head, when Andy heard another clicking sound. As soon as Andy's hands touched her hips, she suddenly reached down and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands up to cup those mammoth tits of hers, followed by another click and then another moan. "I really should be bouncing on this schlong of yours, daddy, but I just love how it feels stretching my teenage cunt open, prying that cunt until I can't help but fit like a good little sleeve, only as big as you're making me," Hannah groaned. "Don't you want me, baby? Don't you wanna force fuck your newest whore until she's weeping your cum? 'Cause that's what she fucking wants. I know you can feel how fucking wet I am around that giant cock," she giggled. "Maybe just a little bounce." Hannah lifted her hips up, sliding her twat up his cock. Andy wasn't sure how far up she was going to lift, but after a few inches, she snickered and thrust down again, which only made her moan all the harder. "Fuck fuck fuck that's fucking good,” "You know, Andrew," Emily said, her voice moving closer, "when Hannah told me her plan for this moment, I offered her a little suggestion, one which she found incredibly erotic. Would you like me to tell you what it is?" "I think you should, don't you?" he said, Hannah making sure he couldn't peek and see what was happening. "Oh, I think you rather might enjoy a surprise instead," she laughed, getting even closer before Andy heard yet another click. He knew he'd heard that sound before, but couldn't place it. "You really should see her like this, Andy," Emily purred. "All wanton and wound up on your lap, eager to get your spunk inside of her but too wired to be able to move. And you, being so noble, not rushing her, when really, I think the little slut's as desperate for you to fuck her as you are." There was a rustling sound, and Andy felt his legs being pushed apart a little by Emily's soft hands. "Which is where I come in." There was another click, then another. Then Andy could feel the skirt fluttering, as one of Emily's hands shifted, the tip of her thumb rubbing along what little of his cock was exposed, before moving to strum Hannah's clit tenderly, the Asian cheerleader wriggling even more in his lap. "Fuck, she's frigging me, Daddy. She's rubbing my little cunny while you're ripping it open, and it all feels so fucking good." "It's a good starter, innit?" Emily said, "but I can do better. Hannah, be a good little fuckpuppet and start grinding on him, would you love?" "I don't know, Emily," Hannah whimpered, almost a touch of fear in her voice. "I'm scared I'm gonna start having chain orgasms or something." "Of course you are, darling," Emily replied, "but that's no reason to be frightened. They're wonderful." The movements were tentative at first, but slowly Hannah's hips began lifting up then pushing down again, starting to ride his cock, although clearly pacing herself to not go completely out of control. "Now," Emily said, as Andy thought he felt her moving to her knees, "let me see if I can expedite this along a little more." Andy damn near jumped when he felt Emily's tongue near the base of his cock, the British woman giving a delightful shiver against him, one hand still using a thumb on Hannah's clit, the other keeping Andy's thighs pressed wide apart enough that she could slip in, her head beneath the skirt, as her voice was a little muffled. "Ah yes, I know how we can kickstart this. Hannah, dear, are you ready for my husband to be to blow your fucking mind by blowing his load?" "Oh god, I want it so goddamn bad, Emily, Andy,” Click. "I need to feel that hot jizz inside of my snug snatch, I'm so fucking desperate for it." "But you know what'll happen when he does, don't you?" Hannah nodded, but didn't say anything, while Emily's tongue was flicking along the point where Andy's flesh met Hannah's. "I can't hear you, darling!" Emily said in a sing song voice. "I'll start imprinting." "And what does that mean, you silly girl?" "That I'll be bonded to him, connected to him,” "Is that what you want?" Hannah nodded again, her hair thrashing about, before she realized that Emily still couldn't hear her nodding. "I want it, I want it, I want it so fucking bad,” Click. "Well, you tell him what you want him to make you, and I'll make sure he does, but if you don't say it, he won't do it, and frankly, I won't blame him one bit." "Please, Andy, Daddy, Master, whatever the fuck you want me to call you, please give me that cum, please fill up my cunt and let it mark my very soul." Andy could feel Emily's tongue moving downward, starting to lash over his balls, flicking along them, that weird clicking sound filling the air again, as Hannah continued begging. "I've never wanted anything like this in my entire fucking life, needed something so fucking badly, to feel you jizzing me up, putting a big ol' creampie in my tight teenage twat, doing what it does, what I want it to do to me so fucking much. I wanna be your slut, Andy, yours and nobody else's. I wanna feel that nut branding me as your whore for life, your wanton and willing cheerleader fucktoy who will take every drop of cum you give her. I need it. Oh fuck do I fucking need it, You gotta give it to me, Andy, before I lose my fucking mind." At that point, Andy felt Emily's lips wrapping around his balls, sucking his nuts into her mouth, washing them with her tongue, rolling them around, almost coaxing them to give up their secrets, as Hannah started spasming again on his lap. The sensations were brutally intense, threatening to overwhelm him.. "Please, Daddy, please please please; make me your girl, your slut, your whore, your toy, your fuckhole, your plaything or wife or whatever the fuck you want me as, just make me fucking yours with that goddamn cum already! Cum in me! Show me how fucking owned I am! Oh my god, I'm fucking cumming! Cum with me! Cum! Fucking cum already!" Between Emily's tongue, Hannah's grinding movements and her quivering cunt, Andy's resistance was futile and he felt his balls try to draw up, only to be kept in place by Emily's lips, even while his cock began spewing hot cum inside of Hannah's cunt, sending the girl redoubling with spasms, her already tight snatch locking his cock inside of her until those spurts had stopped and her body sloughed almost lifeless against him in the chair. Emily began giggling profusely beneath the skirt, and he felt her mouth pull off his balls, giving the base of his cock a little lick before she pushed the cheerleader up and off his cock, forcing her to slide a bit more against Andy's chest. Once she had his cock out of the cheerleader, she moved to lick it clean, and Andy was certain he could feel Emily trembling just a little bit, having rediscovered for certain that every bit of his cum would send her into orgasms. After a minute or so of a tongue bath on his cock, Emily slipped out from under the skirt and moved to help Andy lift her up, carrying Hannah's unconscious form to the giant bed, laying her down. Emily had given his knob an excellent spit shine, so Andy tucked his cock away, and pulled up his boxers and his jeans, zipping and buttoning them up, before he noticed that Emily was standing next to Nicolette, who was still in the room. The two of them were looking at Hannah's cellphone. "No, that's definitely the one. Send him that one," the British woman said to the maid. "That's what I figured, but I wanted to be sure," Nicolette said. "And the rest of them?" "Why, send them to Andy's phone, and all the girls' phones as well," Emily said, leaning in to kiss Nicolette, letting the maid get a taste of a few remaining droplets of Andy's cum, forcing the French girl to vibrate a little, a short but nonetheless powerful orgasm rippling through her at even that small amount. "Am I going to regret asking what this is all about?" Andy said, as he walked over to join them. Emily took the phone from Nicolette's hand, selected a photo and turned the phone to show Andy. It was a picture of Hannah on his lap, although her face was covered by her hair. Her cheerleading top was pulled up, but her arm folded across her tits hid her nipples from sight, and while portions of Andy's form were visible, it didn't clearly identify him either. But also just importantly, Hannah's skirt was clearly over the head and shoulders of Emily, who wasn't totally visible in the photo either, but made the image all that more erotic. "When you told Nathaniel that you weren't going to let Benny watch, Hannah asked us to send him a picture that showed the whole thing without giving him any of the good bits, or showing anybody's face," Emily giggled. "He'll know it's her, and you, and me, but he can't prove it to anyone." "So you took a picture," Andy said to Nicolette, who had a comfortable smirk on her face. "Oh, I took loads of pictures, Master, and in most of them, you can see her tits, her face, I like this one in particular," she said, taking the phone back from Emily, scrolling over to show one that was a close up Emily's face, her tongue extended to lick his cock, Hannah's cunt visible and framed in the shot. "But these are just for the family."

Just mucking around with stories — so these are two different readings of the same story. The audio and video are separate recordings, so you can listen to the audio above on its own, or with reading the story below. Or you can watch the video. Or any combo…Click:They'd met at a café. First impressions were awful. But by coffee number three, things had reset. She'd spilled a drink on his lap. He laughed it off. She blushed and grinned. It was already a story.The click was instant. Like a fridge magnet finding its place. A done deal.One month later, they were living together — one main room and one bedroom, a third flatmate named Mike. A quiet mechanic who mostly kept to himself. Cheap rent, just for the couch, but every little bit helped them.Tama didn't have much of a job — calling himself a musician was generous. A keyboard player in a band that scored bar gigs twice a month if lucky. Miri was at polytech, studying photography. She worked harder than him, that was clear. Mike often loaned Tama money.One night, Mike brought his workmates around for drinks. Miri wandered through, taking photos, ignoring a few crude shouts. Tama came home when the drinking games were mid-chant, whisked her away for coffee and cake.It was over a slice of pecan pie that she told him.“I'm pregnant.”Tama choked. Coughed. Wiped his mouth. “Come again?”“You won't actually need to”, she said, with a laugh. “Two months,” she said more calmly.“What the fuck are we gonna do?” His voice cracked.“Become parents.”He stared at the table. His chest fluttered with something between panic and awe. “Seriously, Miri…”“I'll finish my course. You'll get a job. We'll figure it out.”And somehow, that calmed him. They hugged in the middle of the café. Someone clapped. They left grinning.Back home, Mike and the other mechanics were stoned in the lounge, listening to Genesis. Tama muted Phil mid-scream. The word “mama” left hanging in the air that night. “I'm gonna be a dad!?Mike blinked. “Huh?”“We're pregnant!” Miri confirmed.“Fuckin' A. Wanna toke?”“No thanks,” Tama said. “Big night. Early to bed for me.” He looked at Miri. “Coming?”“In a sec,” she said. “I wanna finish this roll.”He left.Mike turned to her. “You wanna toke?”“No thanks,” she said. “Weren't you listening? I'm pregnant.”“So?”“I'm having a kid, Mike. I can't smoke pot.”He shrugged.Then she walked over. Took his arm.She whispered, “it's yours”.“What?”“The baby. Mike.”He stared at her. “It was one time.”“I know!”“I was wasted. That never even… I didn't even…” He trailed off. “Fuck.”“I couldn't tell him.”“You should've. It was just once!”“I can't lose him. He's the one. He'll be an amazing dad. You know it.”He slumped into the couch. Ready now for bed also. “What are you asking me?”“Nothing. Just your silence.”He nodded. “Okay.”“And you'll move out. Before the baby's born.”Another nod.“I'll never ask for money. This is my life. His life. We'll make it work. He doesn't need to know.”“What about a paternity test?”She slapped him.He didn't flinch. Just looked at the floor. “Alright,” he said. “I'll move out.”Four months later, he did.Tama had paid him back. Gigs were steadier. He'd started giving piano lessons too. Miri finished her course, took a job at a front desk. They turned half of their bedroom into a nursery. It was working. But the baby monitor wasn't. Tama could not work out how to set that up.Trina arrived, no troubles. Seven pounds, four ounces. The couple wept. Mike visited once. Brought flowers. Held the baby longer than Miri expected.“She's got her father's eyes,” Miri said. And her father smiled.Tama had to get ready for rehearsal. But first, one more check on the baby.Mike whispered, “You think he'll ever know?”“No”, Miri hissed.Mike nodded. “He's a good dad.”Miri smiled. “He is her father.”Tama was holding Trina close, just listening. Mostly awe, not much panic. The heartbeat a tiny miracle.The baby monitor buzzed softly. Voices. Words fading in and out, but one part he heard clearly.He is her father.Sounds Good! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Thanks for reading Sounds Good! ! This post is public so feel free to share it.Start writing today. Use the button below to create a Substack of your own Get full access to Sounds Good! at simonsweetman.substack.com/subscribe

A new home. Based on a post by CorruptingPower, in 25 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. Chapter 4 Three days later, the calendar claimed it was a Saturday, but at that point, Andy wasn't sure any of them really knew. During the evening after dinner every day for the past three days, Lily and Eric had retreated to Eric's room immediately as soon as dishes were in the dishwasher, and Andy and Aisling were in Andy's room not long after. The walls between the two bedrooms were thankfully fairly thick, and each room was generating enough noise to drown the other out if there had been any spillover. If anything, Andy actually felt a little sore. Aisling hadn't been lying about fucking him thin. Each day had been a new and interesting work out, and she'd been true to her word “ he hadn't gone to sleep without giving her at least one load for the day. They'd also spent a bunch of time all getting to know one another. Andy knew within just a few minutes that Lily was a good match for Eric “ she knew exactly how much to push him around and how much to let him get his way. Aisling also seemed an ideal match for Andy, and they'd spent much of the Saturday upstairs just in bed, cuddled up watching movies on the television in his room. Late in the afternoon, Andy had starting making dinner for the four of them when a knock came at the door. Aisling was in the living room talking with Lily while Eric has helping him by chopping vegetables. "Who is it, Ash?" Aisling picked through the peephole then opened the door. "Looks like you should make that for five," she called back. "Delivery for Andrew Rook?" a man inside a bio hazard suit said, holding out a tablet. A woman stood next to him, dressed much as Aisling and Lily had been when they'd showed up. "I'm Aisling Blake, his partner," she said. "It okay if I sign?" The man glanced down at his tablet, frowned at it, clicked a few things, then nodded. "Sure, looks like that's okay. Sign here." Aisling took her fingertip and scrawled her name on it, as the woman moved into the room and started heading up the stairs, carrying her little roller suitcase with her. "The door on the left!" Aisling called up. "I'll be up in just a second!" She turned back to the man with a broad smile. "Anything else?" "Nah, I'll be back again soon enough," he said, and Aisling closed the door behind him, turning the deadbolt to lock it. "I'm going to go up and talk to her, Andy, so just hang out for a bit down here, okay?" "I'm cooking anyway, Ash, it's fine." Andy hadn't even gotten a glance at the new woman, but his curiosity was certainly getting the better of him. Still, he also found himself more than a little nervous. Aisling darted upstairs and then a few seconds later, he heard his bedroom door close again. "You've been kicked out of your own room again," Eric teased. "Meh, it's not even my room anymore." "Oh get over yourself," Lily said. They all knew she was joking, even as dry as her humor was. Ten minutes later, dinner was close to done, and Andy was tempted to call upstairs to her when Aisling came down the stairs alone. "Is she not joining us?" Andy asked. Aisling shook her head, and Andy could hear the sound of the shower turning on in his bathroom. "She's already eaten, so she's going to take a shower. After dinner, I'll bring you up to the room." "What's her name?" "Lauren," Aisling said. "You going to tell me anything else about her?" "Nah," Aisling grinned. "So how's the new girl?" Lily said as Aisling moved to sit at the table while Andy went to dish out his cooking “ a spicy chili over rice “ into four bowls before putting the fifth bowl back into the cupboard. "New," Aisling said. "Oh come on, Ash," Eric said. "Surely you can tell us more than that." "Of course I can, but I'm not going to, and don't call me Shirley." For the next few minutes, Lily and Eric peppered her with questions, but Aisling dodged them before she finally just rolled her eyes and stared at them. "You can make your own mind up about her tomorrow, alright? Let her tell you about her rather than me. Now can we talk about something else?" After dinner, Lily and Eric had agreed to clear up the dishes and get them into the dishwasher, so Andy could go upstairs and meet his next partner. Andy was more than a little nervous as Aisling took him upstairs. His own bedroom door was closed and as they stood outside of it, Aisling moved to stand between him and it. "Look, Andy, do you trust me?" He cocked his head to one side then nodded. "Of course, Ash. Why?" "Then just go with me on this, okay?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out a blindfold. "Put this on." "Are you serious?" Andy looked down at the blindfold as she handed it to him. "Really?" "Please trust me?" Andy sighed, his shoulders slumped a little bit. "Alright. Alright." He lifted the blindfold up and put it over his eyes. "I feel a bit silly." "It'll all make sense tomorrow, I promise," she said as she made sure the blindfold was covering his eyes properly so he couldn't see at all. "Wait, tomorrow?" "Daddy," she said again, this time a bit more comfortingly. "Trust me." "Ok, Ash. Don't let me regret it." "You won't," she said, as Andy can hear her opening the door to his bedroom. She pushes him gently into the room, stepping with him, closing the door behind them. His room wasn't very empty, so he knew he had to watch his step. Move too far forward and he'd his a bookcase, or his armchair over in the corner next to his electric guitar and his arm. "Okay, now step back and lean your back against the door." Andy took a few steps back and felt his back press into the door, as he felt a hand smoothing along his chest. He thought it was Aisling's, but he couldn't be sure. "Hello, I'm Andy," he said, hoping there was someone else in the room besides him and Aisling. "Shhhh, don't say anything, Daddy," Aisling whispered into his ear. "Just listen, and feel." He could hear the sound of Aisling moving, and felt her hand on his waist, unbuttoning his jeans. "You're going to learn to love this," he heard her say, although he was fairly certain she wasn't talking to him. He could hear the sound of Aisling getting down onto her knees, but he thought he heard a second set of knees hitting the carpet, as he felt a hand tugging his zipper down then reaching beneath his boxers to fish out his cock. As soon as it sprung free, he heard a gasp and then Aisling giggling. "Go on, taste it," she said. "There's a droplet there waiting just for you." Andy felt a tongue lash against the tip of his cock for a second before pulling back, an unfamiliar throaty moan erupting from somewhere beneath him. Aisling giggled again. "Give her just a second, Andy." "Take all the time you need." After a minute or so, Aisling's voice cut through the darkness again. "Well, if you're not going to,” And he felt Aisling's mouth, or at least he thought it was Aisling's mouth, wrap around his cock once more and push down until her lips were wrapped around the base of it, holding there for a long moment before pulling back again. "At least one of us is gonna be an eager little slut, and if you're not gonna " She was in the middle of the word when Andy felt another mouth pushing down hard onto his cock, lodging it right into the back of her throat before coughing a little, drawing back, gasping for air. He started to reach forward, but he felt a hand on his wrist. "No no, Daddy," Aisling's voice said. "Let your new slut work." Not being able to see was heightening his other senses, putting them into overdrive. And yet, even as he felt her mouth sliding up and down his cock, he couldn't tell anything about this new girl who had entered his life. Anything other than the fact she loved his cock. "She's thirsty, daddy," Aisling purred up at him. "You can't see her, but I can, and she's giving you such sloppy head, I think she's desperately trying to get you to cum for her." "I'm not far off," Andy admitted. "One second then," Aisling said as she pulled Lauren back for a moment. She whispered something to the other girl, and then they both moved for a second, and he could hear the sound of one of them getting onto the bed. Then he felt a pair of hands on his hips, pulling him forward. "C'mere, you're going to fuck her face, daddy." "I'm going to what?" he said, as he slowly shimmied forward until he felt like he was near the edge of his bed. He felt a hand around the base of his cock, as Aisling stood behind him, and she moved him around a bit, then her hips pushed forward against his ass, forcing him to thrust into an open mouth that groaned eagerly around him. He tried to pull back a bit, but Aisling pushed him forward until he felt his balls brushing against what he thought was Lauren's nose. That meant, he assumed, she was on her back, maybe with her head hanging just off the edge of the bed. "That's it, daddy, feed her. Feed your newest slut a hot load of your cum. Claim her. Let her taste you." Aisling moaned into his ear. "This is so fucking hot, sir. But you gotta do it. She's yearning for it," she said as her hips moving with his pressed his cock in and out of the unseen girl's throat. "Make her your slut, daddy. Cum in that fucking throat,” Andy could feel Aisling's fingers closing around his balls as they drew up, and before he knew it, he was spurting a hot load of jizz into the throat of a woman he'd never even seen before. While his orgasm was strong, he could feel Lauren trembling beneath him like they were in the middle of an earthquake. The bed was jittering and he tried not to push forward or back until he felt Aisling's hands pulling him back a little bit. "God, this is such a fucking sexy image," Aisling said. "Now just wait here a moment, okay?" Andy nodded, and felt Aisling move around him before sliding up onto the bed. He could hear the sound of Aisling moving Lauren around on the bed. He also thought he could hear someone whispering the word "imprinting" over and over again very quietly. He remembered Aisling doing the same thing the first time she'd gotten a load of his cum inside of her. After a minute or two, Aisling slid off the bed again, and giggled, leaning up to kiss him for a moment. "I think you've earned a treat, Daddy, so give me just one minute more, okay?" "You're driving, Ash," he laughed. He could hear her opening the drawer she'd stored all her clothes in, even as she was stripping out of what she was currently wearing, tossing it into the clothes hamper. Then she pulled on whatever clothes she'd pulled out. Then he heard the sound of what sounded like a lotion bottle opening and then felt a cool liquid dripping onto his cock before the cap snapped back on. He felt her fingers sliding up and down his shaft, smearing the lotion onto his cock for a moment before her hands pulled away as she moved up onto the bed once more. "Okay, daddy, you can take off the blindfold now." Andy reached up and pulled off the blindfold and let his eyes adapt to his room, the lights set to low. On the far side of the bed, there was a body entirely covered by a sheet, which he assumed had to be Lauren. But his eyes only looked over there for a moment before turning to see Aisling in a Hogwarts outfit, on her hands and knees on the corner of the bed. "Let her rest, Andy. You've got to enjoy your treat now." Andy licked his lips as he reached down and pushed his jeans to his ankles before stepping out of them. "It's a hell of an outfit you're rocking there, Ash." She giggled again, looking back at him over her shoulder. "Oh, this is just for a laugh," she said. "No, your treat's something else entirely." "Oh is it?" he said pulling off his socks and his shirt before pushing his boxers down to the floor, then scooping all his clothes up to toss them into the hamper. "Then what is it?" "I've had your cum down my throat and up my cunt, but there's one hole that you haven't had a go at," she whispered. "That nobody's had a go at, other than me, of course. I've had fingers and toys up there, but I'm ready for the real thing." Her fingertips pulled on the skirt, tugging it up higher and higher until it exposed her ass. "Claim all of me, daddy." "Are you sure, Ash?" "Umm, am I not being explicit enough for you?" She brought her shoulders down to the bed as both hands reached behind her and pulled the cheeks of her ass apart. "I want you to take that thick cock of yours and shove it right up my virgin asshole, daddy. I wanna feel you butt-fucking my untouched hole until you toss a load up it and claim that last bit of me that no man's ever had a go at. So you truly fucking own every millimeter of me. I got it, and you, nice and slick. Just, just don't go too fast to start, okay?" "I'll stop the minute you tell me to." "Oh, I won't tell you to stop," she moaned. "Just pause for a second. Now let me fucking feel it already. Take my freckled ass for a fucking hard ride." Andy stepped up to the corner of the bed and rubbed the mushroom head of his cock along that crack, pressing it against that rosebud that she had indeed greased up well. "Don't hold your breath," Andy said, and pushed the tip of his cock through that ring. The moan that Aisling surged into the mattress was carnal, intense and almost overwhelming. Andy kept his hips steady, not giving her any more than that tip, even as he felt her asshole clenching a bit on his shaft, butterfly spasms. "Fuck that's so fucking big, it feels like you've got a telephone pole up me arse." "Want me to " "Give me more." "Are you" "Fucking more, goddamn it. It feels so fucking good, I fucking need it. Take my virgin ass and stuff it full, you motherfucker." Andy tried very hard not to laugh, and placed his hands on her hips, holding her steady, as he leaned forward while pulling her back, until his cock was nearly hilt deep in her ass. It felt ridiculously tight and hot, like a grasp around his cock. He kept his hips still at that point, just lodged up her as his hand smoothed along her back through the uniform. "In your own time, Ash." "So. Fucking. Full," she moaned. "Jaysis, I feel like such a whore. I fuckin' love it. Now plow me, you bastard. Give it t' me." His hips drew back, sliding most of that shaft out before thrusting forward again until his balls slapped against her cunt, feeling exactly how soaked she was. He held motionless a moment again before he repeated the motion. "Harder," she groaned. "What's that?" "Fuck my virgin ass harder, you beautiful boy," she whimpered. "Fuckin' use your bitch." He reached forward and his fingertips grasped a handful of her copper mane right by the root so he could pull her back up onto her hands, and he heard her squeal and felt her shiver as he did. "A bitch should be on all fours." "Fuck yes. Hammer me, daddy. Rail your slut in her virgin shit pipe until you've carved your fuckin' name into it." He started to piston pump in and out of her, knowing he wasn't going to last long. She was mercilessly tight, but after four or five thrusts, she was leaning back into him with as much force as he was drilling into her. "Do it, daddy," she moaned. "Give me my load, your slut needs it, she fucking needs it, daddy. Give her your cum so she knows who she belongs to, claim that fucking ass, oh god, jaysis jaysis jaysis., do it daddy, do it, do it, do it, do it, cum in my ass, cum!" At her coaxing, he relented and when his cock was slammed down to the base inside of her ass, his balls drew up and he started to spurt a hot load into her ass. The minute he did, he felt a splash of wetness against his balls and it took him half a second to realize she was squirting, a stream of liquid splattering against his nutsack and the corner of the bed. Her shoulders slumped back down against the sheets and she started to laugh, much more frantically than her normal giggle. "Omi god omi god omi fucking god, I fuckin' squirted," she said, gasping for air between shots of laughter. "I've never squirted before in me life. That was so fuckin' intense." Andy slipped his softening cock from her ass gingerly, as she rolled over and sat up on her knees, her hands grabbing his face so she could kiss him harder than he'd ever been kissed in his life. She held him there for a long minute before she pulled back just enough for their lips to part. "Thank you so fuckin' much, Andy," she purred at him. "Now let's hop through a quick shower and get to bed. You can meet Lauren tomorrow." "You okay?" he said, brushing a few rogue strands of her hair out of her face for her. "I wasn't too rough?" "I." Kiss. "Fucking." Kiss. "Loved." Kiss. "It." Kiss. "If it's ever too much I'll tell it, but I loved it. I fucking loved it." She blushed a little bit, her eyes closing before they opened again. "I love you, Andy." "I love you too, Ash," he said with a smile. "But let's get that shower. And you're the one who's sleeping with her feet in the wet spot." "Meanie," she giggled, as they headed towards the bathroom. Chapter 5 Not looking under the sheet was harder than it seemed, but after their shower, Aisling had made sure to put herself between him and the body concealed on the far side of the bed. She snuggled up firmly against him and made sure he didn't move too far over. At some point in the night, he must've been accidentally tugging on the blanket because he felt Aisling's fingers pulling his hand up and placing it back over her tits, a tiny little giggle burbling from her half-conscious lips. Andy drifted back off to sleep and slept through the night. In the morning, he was half awake when he heard two voices talking from the foot of the bed. "Does he always crack such a fat in the morning?" an unfamiliar voice said. "A lot of men often wake up hard," Aisling's voice said. "You want to touch him, don't you?" "God help me, I do," the other voice said again. "I really, really, really do." "Then go ahead." "I can hear you, you know," Andy said, reaching up to rub at his eyes. "Ah. Well good day Andy," the voice said. "I'm Lauren." He opened his eyes and sat up a little bit, looking down at the foot of his bed. To the right of his feet stood Aisling, completely naked. She had a huge smile on her face, her freckled hair hanging loose over her shoulders and down across her perky tits. To the left of his feet stood a huge woman. She wasn't heavy, but she was sizable, far taller than Aisling was, and more muscular. Not overly so, but fit, like an athlete. Statuesque. It was hard to gauge how big she was, but from his vantage point, and using Aisling as reference, Lauren had to be over six and a half feet tall. She was blonde, a long dark golden mane that hung over plump tits down to her waist. They were large full tits with very obvious tan lines. In fact, he could also see tan lines forming a mark where he imagined a bikini bottom normally was. She had a small triangle of dark blonde hair over her cunt, with her toned thighs pressed firmly together. One of her nipples had a barbell through it, a simple silver adornment. She also had a silver hoop through her navel. "Hope ya like the view," she said after what Andy felt like was far too long of him being silent. She was gorgeous, but she also looked nervous, maybe even shy, as her striking blue eyes looked down towards his feet. She was older than Aisling, maybe around Andy's age, in her mid-thirties. The accent implied she was Australian or from New Zealand, although it felt like it had faded a bit. "Don't just sit there silently, Andy," Aisling said, slapping one of his feet. "Say something." "You're absolutely stunning, Lauren." He pulled his legs back to sit up, making room for the two girls to get onto the bed. "Far too lovely to be saddled with a wreck like me." Lauren blushed a little as she moved to sit down. "Now don't say that. You're right handsome." "What was yesterday all about?" Andy said, as Aisling slid up further onto the bed. "I'm, uh,” "Go on, honey," Aisling said. "You can tell him." Lauren looked down, placing a hand on his thigh, before she drew in a deep breath and lifted her other hand up to push waves of blonde hair from her face, lifting her face to look up at him. "I've always identified as bisexual, but I've never been with a fella before, Andy. So while I told myself this is what I wanted, I was so afraid when I got here that I froze up." Andy frowned a little bit. "Lauren, if you don't want " Her fingers gripped firmly on his thigh, as she looked up at him, her eyes almost ablaze. "No. No, Andy. I do want. I so want. I'm just, I'm just nervous that I'll be bad at it. Or that you won't want me. I'm certainly not as young and pretty as Aisling is. I mean, just look at her. She goes alright, but I'm worried that I'm just a bit of a prawn." "Prawn?" "Y'know, a dog." Aisling shook her head. "She thinks she's what American cockheads call a butter face." "Oh god, Lauren," Andy said, putting his hand over hers on his thigh, squeezing it tenderly. "You're beautiful. Whatever man told you that you were ugly was out of his fucking mind, stupid and blind." Lauren smiled shyly, licking her lips a little bit. "You think?" "Jesus, Lauren," Andy laughed. "You're out of my league on the best of my days. I wouldn't blame you at all if you didn't want me." "I told Aisling I was nervous when I got here yesterday. I mean, I'd never gone a gobbie in me life, so I was worried that I'd damage yer tackle when I tried, but she told me,” Lauren trailed off for a moment. "She told me that I'd cum my brains out when I got me first load from ya, but I thought she was having a right laugh. And I didn't want you to see me all fidgety, so she said she'd blindfold you and I could take me time. She's a right keeper, that one is." Aisling placed her hand on Andy's other thigh and leaned over his legs, lifting her free hand up to Lauren's face, tipping her head up so she could press her lips against the giant beauty in a tender kiss, which started soft for just a second, then got heated quickly before pulling back. "And I was right, wasn't I? Wasn't the taste overwhelming?" "Crikey," Lauren whispered. "When he came in my mouth, I seized up like an ol' Buick. It was like every nerve in my body was lit on fire. I woke up this morning ready for my next fix." She glanced over at Aisling and smiled before looking back at Andy. "You don't mind me snogging your girl, do you?" Aisling reached over and poked Lauren on the thigh, as if prompting her for something. "Sorry, you don't mind, do you, sir?" The shiver that ran up Andy's spine had to be visible to both women. Their shared kiss only a foot or two over his cock had been one of the hottest things he'd ever seen. The word at the end only redoubled the sensation. "Ah, you two want to have a go at each other and I can leave you to it?" Lauren giggled, a mature laugh from a mature woman, as her hand moved a bit more up his thigh. "We had a bit of fun this morning before you woke up, sir, an' I don't imagine it'll be the last time, but I'm ready for the main course, if ya follow me." "He likes girls on top, so maybe you should just hop on," Aisling prompted. "That true, sir?" Lauren asked, sliding a little forward on the bed, one of her thighs moving across his thighs, straddling them, rubbing his cock with one hand near one of her thighs. "You want me on top?" "If you've never been with a man before, it might be best, so you can set the tempo and depth," Andy said. "I've been fucked before," Lauren said. "A rubber cock can't be that different than the real thing." Aisling started giggling furiously. "Oh, bless. You sweet, naive child. Let me help you to the new world." The redhead moved up on the bed behind Lauren, one hand reaching to grab her hip, the other reaching beneath her to grab Andy's cock, getting it lined up with the other woman's cunt. "Ready?" "It's not going to be that " With a sudden push of her hand, Aisling shoved Lauren's snatch down onto Andy's cock with one fluid motion. Lauren's head shot back, looking up at the ceiling, letting out a filthy, carnal moan, falling back against Aisling, who kept her propped up, her tits pressed against the taller woman's back while Lauren quaked like she was being electrocuted. The moan carried on for a long moment until Lauren sounded out of breath, and suddenly she gasped in another sudden inhale, one hand reaching behind her to grab a handful of Aisling's hair, the other smoothing across her own stomach. "Oh Fuck," Lauren babbled, "I was wrong, I was so bloody wrong, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I think I'm still fucking cumming,” "That's it" Aisling said, one of her hands still holding onto Lauren's hip, the other moving up to cup one of the woman's heavy tits in her slender fingertips. "I told you just putting it in was going to set you off." "It's not right, it's not fucking supposed to be like this," Lauren whimpered. "I'm Still fucking cumming shit,” Aisling smirked at Andy who was watching on with awe, feeling Lauren's snatch fluttering around his cock. "And to think, once you cum inside of her, it's going to hit her even harder, daddy." "Fuckin' hell, Ash," Lauren whined, "I don't think I can handle it. It's too much, it's too fucking much." The redhead pressed a kiss against the blonde's neck. "Either you're getting that load or I am," she whispered to her. "Because I'm not letting' it go to waste." "I'm not sure," she mumbled. "Then get off." Aisling started to pull up on Lauren's hips before Lauren grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her hand off her hip and brought it to her belly. "Changed your mind?" "I'm scared," Lauren said, "but I'm excited too. It gets better than that?" "So much better," Aisling giggled. "Daddy knows how to reward his sluts." "Is that what I am?" "Do you want to be?" Andy asked her. "You could just be one of my partners." Lauren's eyes finally rolled back down the back of her skull, turning those blue orbs down to look at him. "I want what you want." "No," Andy shook his head. "This is a decision you make yourself." The tall blonde bit her bottom lip nervously, looking down at Andy's chest before looking up at his eyes. "Say it. I want to see how it makes me feel." "Say what?" "That I'm, you know." Andy smirked a little bit. "If you can't say it, why should I?" She licked her lips, swallowing awkwardly. "Call me your slut." "Is that what you want, Lauren?" She paused then nodded. "I want to hear you say it." "Does it turn you on?" He reached a hand up to her face, lifting her chin a little. "The idea of being my slut?" Her body shivered hard for a long moment before she nodded again. "Say it again." "You're my slut, Lauren." It was almost like waves of pleasure ran through her at the sound of the words. "More." "No," Andy said. "Say it back to me." "Andy.,” she whined, like a child trying to get their parent to buy them a toy. "You say it, and I'll say it again." Lauren mumbled the words so low even Aisling couldn't hear them. "If I can't hear you, you daffy bitch, how do you expect Daddy to?" the redhead said. "I'm your slut," Lauren whispered. "Again," Aisling said, giving the piercing in Lauren's nipple a little turn. "God, I'm his slut." "Who's slut?" "Daddy's." "All together now." "God, daddy, I'm such a little slut for you," Lauren said, the dam finally breaking in her. "I'm your slut, sir. All yours. Can I be your slut?" "Of course you can, Lauren," Andy said with a soft smile. "You're my good girl, my surfer slut." Aisling's hand slid down and started to rub against Lauren's clit tenderly. Those fingertips brushed across that flesh as the blonde writhed on Andy's lap. "How good, keep doing that," Lauren pleaded. One of her hands smoothed along Andy's chest, while the other reached behind her to get lost in Aisling's coppery locks. "You can't wait to feel it, can you?" the redhead laughed. "I remember my first day., my first time, sitting where you're sitting, praying to get a load up inside of me. Thinking it couldn't possibly be as good as they were promising it would be." She leaned in to whispering into her ear. "But you know what? It is. And it's even better." Lauren was rolling her hips back and forth in his lap, trying to thrust down on him even harder. "I want it. I do want it. I need it. God, I must sound like a little junkie in need of a fix." , In a way, you are. We both are," Aisling said, kissing at Lauren's neck. "But if you want it, you've got to ask him for it." "Please, Andy, daddy, master, whatever the fuck you want to be called," Lauren begged. "I'll say anything, do anything, but you need to give it to me. Fill me up. Let me feel a man, my man, coming inside of my cunt for the first time. I want it, more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. Please? I need to know I'm yours. Cum in me. Cum." On that last word, all the resistance Andy had simply melted away, and his body let loose, spurting a load of hot jizz up inside of Lauren's throbbing cunt. She began to spasm and quake atop of him as she felt it before Aisling let the tall Aussie slump forward, laying atop Andy. It was at least a minute before Lauren made any noise at all, before an almost mouse squeak of a giggle purred from her throat against his neck, her face buried in the crook of it. "You okay, Lauren?" Andy said, his hand reaching up to stroke her hair as Aisling laid down next to them, nuzzling in against the other side of Andy's neck. "Oh my god, it's just like being mounted," Lauren said. "I feel warm from the inside out, and kinda dizzy. But it feels amazing." "Right?" Aisling said. "Was I right or was I right?" "Girl, I'm gonna be an addict for this man," Lauren purred. "You and me both, sister." After fifteen minutes or so, the three of them got up and took a shower together. Lauren was indeed taller than Andy was by several inches, not that he minded. He did think, however, he was going to need a bigger shower. Later that day he found out that Lauren was thirty five and she was originally from Sydney, having moving to the Bay Area about seven years ago for a job working for the '49ers as a personal trainer. Aisling and Lauren immediately hit it off, although they made it a point to ensure Andy didn't feel left out. Late in the afternoon, the two of them had retired upstairs to have a little bit of fun together while Andy continued working on his next novel downstairs. "Y'know, when I first saw Lauren," Lily said to him on her way into the kitchen to get a soda, "all I could think of was that Eddie Murphy line." Andy arched an eyebrow at her, not catching the reference. "What Eddie Murphy line?" "You know, in Beverly Hills Cop 2, when he sees Bridgette Nielsen for the first time." Lily looked at him, waiting for the spark of recognition, rolling her eyes when she didn't see it. "You know, 'God damn, that's a big bitch.' You sure you can handle her?" He blushed a little bit. "Not in the least. I'm in way over my head, but I'm thankful for it at least." Lily nodded, closing the fridge. "That's good. Stay humble, stay thankful. But I'll tell you one thing,” "What's that?" "Two down and two to go, but so far you have a Limey and an Aussie, so you damn well better get some American pussy, and you damn well better get some cunt that's at least as dark as I am." She smirked at him. "If the next bitch who walks through that door is French, German, Russian, anything like that, I'ma cuntpunt her ass right outta here, you follow?" "Letting you answer the door for the next few weeks, got it." "Smart man," she said. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." She started to walk back to the living room, but Andy just couldn't help himself. "Cuntpunt? Really?" "It's when you,” "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just what it sounds like." "So keep in mind, I'm watching you." "Watch the door!" Andy laughed. "You can decide who to let in or not!" Lily would get the opportunity to decide very soon. Chapter 6 The next few days around the house were mostly spent with everyone getting to know one another. Lauren, in addition to being a personal trainer, turned out to be an excellent cook. A few days after she arrived, it was decided that a grocery run was needed, but Andy felt strongly that he wanted to go as well. It wasn't advised, but it wasn't strictly forbidden any more either. The news had been quite clear about what he needed to do if he wanted to go out “ not only was he required to wear a P95 mask, he also had to wear goggles protecting his eyes and latex gloves covering his hands. It felt burdensome, but he direly needed to get out of the house for a least a short period of time, so he, Aisling and Lauren resolved to make the grocery store run. "I feel like Mad Max in this get up," Andy grumbled as he got out of the car in the Safeway parking lot. "Except for the fact that I'm unarmed." "They won't let us in the shop if you're sporting an axe, love," Aisling said, comforting him. The girls were dressed up in their gear as well, although both of the girls were wearing his t shirts. They'd taken to just going through his shirts each morning and tossing one on, not that he minded. Andy owned a lot of t shirts. It was practically a uniform. "And we're going through supplies much faster these days with more mouths to feed." "An' you need to let me get a bunch more healthy things in addition to your junk food," Lauren said. "And with five people instead of two, we're going through food a lot quicker these days. So you'd better get used to one of us going out for supplies every few days." "Also, you're the one who wanted to come along, Andy," Aisling said. "You could've just stayed home and let us do all the work." "I had to get out of the house before I went stir crazy. You know I haven't been more a hundred feet out of the condo since April. We were told we were in a very high risk area, so we completely quarantined and just had food delivered, but it was starting to rack up quite the bill that way." The trio headed into Safeway, keeping a good distance from everyone else. At the beginning of the year, if Andy had come into this particular Safeway on a Saturday, it would've been a madhouse. Instead, it felt like a ghost town. Some of the aisles were still desperately barren, with supplies like toilet paper down to only a few options, if that. Thankfully, Eric had been smart enough to set up a recurring order from their local CostCo to get toilet paper delivered when they had it in stock. Andy had been tempted to do a CostCo run as well, but as his first real outing in months, he wanted to stick to something where he felt like he at least had a little control. Their local Safeway was located up in the hills a little bit, so it didn't always get as much traffic as grocery stores closer to the freeways. Andy started to move over to grab a shopping cart, only to get the mom armbar move from Lauren, who pushed him back a good step. "Oh no, Andy," she laughed. "We'll push the cart. You just pick things up and put them into the cart with your gloves." "I don't understand what the difference is," Andy sighed. "But okay, okay, I do remember them saying that men weren't supposed to touch shared objects in public spaces, so I'll keep my hands off." "It's like you haven't been trained properly," Aisling giggled. "You watch it, Ash, or I'll bend you over my knee," he teased back. "She'd only enjoy it, Andy," Lauren said, rolling her bright blue eyes as they headed into the vegetable section. Andy mostly let the girls pick up things and put them into the cart, but every so often he would insist on something and would pick it up himself, like garlic. Both Lauren and Aisling questioned the amount of garlic he bagged up and dropped into the cart, but he was insistent that they would use it all before they were back to the grocery store again. They'd gotten close to a full cart's worth of groceries and were standing in the frozen food section, mostly looking for ice cream truth be told, when a familiar voice called to him from a little bit away. "Andy, that you under all that mess?" Sure enough, it was his friend Phil, standing next to a curvy Hispanic woman. Andy might not have been able to recognize Phil at first glance with the mask and the goggles, but the jacket was a one of a kind letterman jacket from a fighting game tournament Phil had won almost a decade ago. "How did you recognize me, Phil?" "I was taking a wild guess, but I don't know anyone else here in the States who would be wearing a Nautilus Pompilus t shirt. Russian alternative rock band t shirts aren't exactly a dime a dozen." Andy paused for a second, and then realized, he wasn't wearing his Nautilus Pompilus t shirt, but Aisling was. He nodded with a slight smile. "Fair enough. We can't exactly talk here, but let's meet up at the base of Mount Diablo, in the park. We can stand far apart enough to talk and still be safe. We've got to drop groceries off, so let's say we meet up in a couple of hours?" Phil looked down at his watch. "Three o'clock? Sure, we'll see you there." They didn't say anything else to each other, just finished up shopping, paying and taking their groceries home. On the way home, Andy explained to Aisling and Lauren that Phil was one of his oldest friends, and that he was one of the people Andy had talked to over voice chat during the days since the quarantine had started, although Phil had been radio silent for a few weeks now. On the way to the park, Aisling and Lauren were peppering him with questions about Phil. They'd talked to a few of Andy's friends on video chat, but they'd only heard stories about Phil. Of course, they'd heard quite a lot of those stories. They pulled into the parking lot at the park and Andy could see Phil's car on the other side. Sitting on the hood was Phil with the woman he'd seen him with in the Safeway. Andy hopped out of his car, along with Aisling and Lauren. They were out in the open and so far from each other that they felt safe not wearing masks and goggles. Andy walked forward, not towards Phil, but towards the wooden fencing. "So Phil, where the hell ya been?" Andy laughed. Phil was a slender enough Filipino but he looked thinner than Andy remembered. He was clean shaven, and while Andy expected him to have a shaggy head of hair, it looked trimmed and coiffed. Phil had an easy going way about him, a casual grace that Andy had always envied. He smiled up at Andy, shrugging a little bit. "So, Andy, this is Audrey, she's my partner." To the right of Phil stood the woman he'd seen her with earlier in the day, but now he could get a better look at her. She was curvy, almost plump, but had a rosy demeanor to her. She was wearing a Street Fighter t shirt that clearly couldn't be Phil's. She was a bit younger than Phil was, but not unbearably so. "Hi Andy!" she said, giving him a big wave. "Sorry I've kept him off the group Discord, but I didn't want to share him until I felt like we were established." "Oh, love," Aisling giggled. "We're all doing that." "Phil, this is Aisling, Ash for short, and this is Lauren," Andy said, rubbing the back of his own neck sheepishly. "Frankly, I'm a little embarrassed they're stuck with me, but they both seem happy enough, so maybe I'm doing okay by them." Lauren nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. "Andy's the most humble feller I've met. I think me an' Ash are just a couple'a lucky gals." After a minute or so of silence, Andy spoke again. "So Phil, what do you know?" It was a question designed to cut right through the bullshit. Andy and Phil had been good friends long enough that they'd developed a sort of shorthand, particular words and phrases that they could use whenever and wherever and people wouldn't know exactly what was being said. There was a good reason for it. Phil clicked his tongue. "Okay, here's what I know." Phil had worked for a number of tech companies over the years he'd known him, but for the last four years, he'd worked for Boeing up in Pleasanton. Everything he worked on was classified, but he was known to share nonspecific things from time to time, especially if it affected their gang of friends. "What I can tell you without either of us getting our kiesters thrown in the hooscow, anyway,” "That sounds best." "It's bad, Andy," Phil sighed. "It's very bad. They're downplaying the body count for the media, but truth be told we're looking at over a million so far, probably a lot more. And it's only going to get worse. The internal projections are that we're looking at five million dead Americans before all of this is done." "Jesus," Andy muttered. "One million people dead? Seriously? How are they keeping all this quiet?" "Lots and lots of work," Phil replied. "It's not as bad outside of the US, but that's because other countries started taking it serious long before we did." "Are the rules true?" "I wouldn't be talking to you like this if I didn't think it was safe, Andy. But it's going to get worse. A whole lot worse. People here still aren't taking it seriously. You see the news the other day?" "People crowded into churches, shoulder to shoulder, demanding their faith will keep them safe. Idiots in city hall meetings, claiming the right to not wear a mask if they don't want to." Phil nodded. "It's madness. Half of those people will be dead before year's end, and I don't think we're going to have a lid on this until next year. We're living through Spanish Flu Part 2: Electric Bugaloo." "Five million dead? That's like one percent of the country. How the hell are they going to keep it all quiet?" "As much smoke as possible," Phil grumbled. "Keep the cover going until it's untenable. People are going to notice eventually, but the lockdowns are going to keep things contained for a while. But guys like you and me, we need to stay as safe as possible. Because we're high risk." Aisling scowled at him. "How so? I thought the elderly and immuno compromised were the most at risk." "They are," Phil said, nodding again, "but beyond that, it's men between the ages of thirty and forty five. That's where the majority of casualties have been so far. Thankfully, you and me, we're buffered pretty well." "What do you mean, buffered?" Phil smirked, giving a tiny shrug. "Let's just say we've been doing some vaccine testing in rather unusual and unorthodox ways. Did your libido used to be this high all the time, Ash?" She blanched for a moment. "I thought it was just the cabin fever, but now you mention it, I've had a slight buzzing of sexual need since they gave me those shots. What the hell did they do to me?" He raised a hand to calm her down. "Relax, it'll even out eventually. But it's designed so that you're protecting your partner, swapping fluids, giving him regular dosages of the natural antibodies you're building up inside." "Why not just give men the shots directly?" Lauren asked. "Because when we've tried it, it's been fatal." Phil took out a vape pen and inhaled a drag off of it before blowing the vapor back out. He'd been a smoker when they'd first met, but Andy had convinced him to quit. The legalization of pot in California had helped some, naturally. "But if a woman with the vaccine is having regular sexual activity with a man, he's getting a nontoxic dose, and both parties have about 70% resistance to the virus. I wouldn't have put Andy down as polyamorous, but it's going to strengthen your armor even more, my man." Andy smirked, looking at his feet. "I actually put no preference, so it looks like I'm going to get a full slate." "Nah, you'll probably stay where you are. Unless you got rated something ridiculous." "Me and Eric got rated level 5s." Phil nearly dropped his vape pen, his eyebrows raising. "Are you shitting me?" Andy laughed and shrugged a little. "How the fuck did that happen?" "The guy coming to test us was a fan of the books, so I gave him an ARC of the new one that's been delayed a few months. As a way of saying thank you, he rated me and Eric as level 5s." Phil chuckled quietly, shaking his head. "You son of a bitch. I'm not even rated a level 5 and I work for the goddamn military on goddamn black ops shit." "Allegedly," Andy added, grinning back. Phil nodded. "Allegedly." He dragged the word out before he looked up then shook his head. "You're gonna get two more, huh? Good lord, I'm both jealous and terrified for you all at once. How are you going to keep all those personalities from conflicting?" "I'm going to do my best to stay the hell out of their way, mostly." "That's not going to work forever, luv," Aisling said to him. "It's not like we're going anywhere, even when this virus recedes." "You say that now, but,” "No, they're always going to say that. Isn't that part of the public facing info about the pairing system?" Phil said. It was Andy's turn to raise his eyebrows. "No, whatever you're implying, it isn't public knowledge. But you're already in for a penny.." "Might as well be in for a pound, I guess," Phil answered, nodding in agreement. "Alright, but keep this just between us, okay?" "Well, I'll tell Eric, Eric's partner, and my other two partners when they show up, but other than that,” "Yeah, well, that's what I meant by us, alright? Okay, so here's the deal. Do you remember the first time they got a bit of you in them?" "You mean,” Lauren started. "I think you know what I mean." Both Aisling and Lauren blushed and grinned widely. "Most intense thing that's ever happened to us," they both said. "What do you remember right after though, Andy? Just you. They'll both have been passed out." Andy stroked his goatee for a second then snapped his fingers. "They kept mumbling a word over and over, so quiet I could barely make it out, something like, imaging?" Phil shook his head, taking another drag off his vape pen. "Not imaging, imprinting. You're bonded now. Mated for life, like walruses." "You mean penguins," Andy corrected. "It's penguins that mate for life. And what does that mean here, mated for life?" "You're intertwined on a chemical, biological and physiological level in a way we can't even begin to comprehend," Phil said, exhaling another cloud of mist. "If you go away from one another for more than a couple of days, you'll start to feel nervous, anxious, fidgety. After that, it'll be panic attacks, cold sweats. Past that, nervous breakdown. Unless, of course, the other person is dead, in which case that doesn't seem to happen." He shrugged a little bit. "We're kids playing with the building blocks of life here, man. We don't even know what we don't know. But you, Lauren and Ash, you're a unit now. And anyone else you add into that will be as well. I mean, why do you think that questionnaire is so damn long? We don't want to screw up anybody's lives trying to help them. Besides, another of the side effects is that being in each other's company will produce natural dopamine to keep things relatively smoothed out, helps you get past the small stuff, and let's face it, it's all small stuff at this point." "And this is happening all over the country?" "Shit, no," Phil sighed. "We've barely gotten this off the ground in the Bay Area, and all the tech for this shit is here. There are governors all across the country absolutely in arms against this plan, saying they'll fight it tooth and nail, keep people from getting the vaccine until it doesn't have any of these crazy side effects." "I assume you're still working on that." "Of course we're still working on that," Phil said, rolling his eyes. "I'm just baffled by how many goddamn Republicans insist a semi viable solution isn't a solution at all. Even if we were just hitting high risk areas, we could manufacture enough of this current formula to inoculate sixty or seventy million people in this country, all of whom would be 70% resistant to it." "They claiming it's a sin against god or something?" "Worse. But, I guess, more honest." Phil had a slightly bitter laugh filling the air. "They're angry they can't make a buck off of it. Now, of course, there are factions that are just going ahead and doing it anyway. Front line medical workers, emergency services, and a few branches of the armed forces, and their associated contractors. Of course, the whole Bay Area is taking part in it as well, so I guess I would've gotten treated either way." "So we're resistant but not immune?" "Fuck, man," Phil groaned, "I'm not promising you won't get the virus at all, but even if you do, it won't be life threatening. That said, you sti

Episode 667: How does one pants? Ten hours of dropped pipe noises. Are PGH cops abusing the P-Town gays? Puke is vindicated by his art. Our favorite brain-rots. Willie's 4-star chicken at Winky's. Andrew learns that Canada is very boring and very French. Couche-Tard.

Raidy und Falk sitzen mit ihrem Freund Niko an einem frühsommerlichen Samstag im Hof der Reduit und plaudern über Lighthouse Punkrock, Fuckin' Faces, Bernhard Fuxx, The Bates und vieles mehr. Und sonnig das Wetter war, so launig ist auch das Gespräch.Mehr Infos zu Lighthouse Punkrockhttps://www.facebook.com/lighthouse.punkrock/Wer uns wöchentlich hören will, klickt bitte auf diesen Link: https://www.patreon.com/polytoxNiko war nicht zum ersten Mal zu Gast. Wer weitere Folgen mit ihm hören will, folge einfach den Links oder tippt die Folge ins Suchfeld des präferierten Podcatcher:Polytox Podcast Folge 115 - Aktive Notwehr mit Huge Notte & NikoPolytox Podcast Folge 93 - BoomerbingoPolytox Podcast Folge 39 – RechtskundePolytox Patreon Folge 23 - Fridays for futureFalk Fatal zwei Kurzgeschichten- und eine Kolumnensammlungen veröffentlicht: Im Sarg ist man wenigstens allein, Wir spielen Blinde Kuh auf dem Minenfeld des Lebens und Saure Äppler im Nizza des Nordens. Alle Bücher sind in der Edition Subkultur erschienen und sind überall im Buchhandel erhältlich. Oder natürlich direkt bei Falk, wenn ihr ein signiertes Exemplar haben wollt: https://fatalerror.bizUnd natürlich könnt ihr diesen Podcast finanziell unterstützen. Am besten bei Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/polytoxAls kleines Dankeschön, gibt es dort jede Woche eine exklusive Folge für alle Supporter zu hören. Oder wenn ihr nur einmalig etwas spenden wollt: https://www.paypal.me/polytox

1994 saw some of the most classic releases in hip-hop and among them was the underground classic Between A Rock And A Hard Place from rap duo The Artifacts. Tame One and EL Da Sensai brought hip-hop back to its roots, focusing on MCing, DJing and graffiti-writing over boom bap beats making this album a masterpiece from start to finish.

The wonders of diversity continue to contribute it's various "strengths" into our communities while Trump goes on an international deal making spree. The Canadian military continues to implode, "experts" are baffled while Ottawa's latest regime facelift (it's the same guy with a fake mustache on) resumes its work devouring the nation. Fuckin' some good weather lately though, boys!

Episode 109 (s6e4) - Fuckin rock n roll bro 4/1/25 Jonathan: show intro ‘welcome to Season 6, Episode 4 of the Portland Vanity Soccer Podcast (intro order: Jonathan, Josh, Greg) Greg: What's coming up in this episode? THE VIBES BRO Recent Performances Predictions

durée : 00:58:52 - La Série musicale - par : Zoé Sfez - Dans les années 1964-65 surgit une génération de jeunes énervés, très différents de leurs parents et qui avaient bien des choses à dire et à hurler, face à un monde trop violent. Les amplis et les guitares leur ont permis de s'exprimer différemment ! Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The Kinks, Les Beatles... - réalisation : Louise André, Colin Gruel

durée : 00:58:52 - La Série musicale - par : Zoé Sfez - Dans les années 1964-65 surgit une génération de jeunes énervés, très différents de leurs parents et qui avaient bien des choses à dire et à hurler, face à un monde trop violent. Les amplis et les guitares leur ont permis de s'exprimer différemment ! Jimi Hendrix, The Who, The Kinks, Les Beatles... - réalisation : Louise André, Colin Gruel

It's WTF Wednesday on Season 19, Episode 15 of The Adventures of Pipeman.  Tune in at 1PM ET on 2/19/25 for the live show on W4CY Radio at www.w4cy.com.  It's WTF Wednesday! And WTF.  There is a new agency in town and it's called DOPE.  What does that even stand for and how ridiculous is it getting with the 4 letter organizations.  Is DOPE dopey or is it totally cool. Let's discuss that and other 4 letter words designed distract us from what's really going on.  Tell us your WTF stories and moments. It might be on next week's show. Meanwhile , this is the day where “Who Knows and Anything Goes!”  The Adventures of Pipeman continues as we discuss our coverage this week of events on The Pipeman Radio Tour.  We are giving away tickets to Bourbon & Beyond and Inkcarceration plus some Shiprocked 2026 announcements with a recap of Shiprocked 2025 and what's coming? Is it Fuckin' Slayer. Plus news about some upcoming Music Interviews, new music, and more.  Want to WIN!  Watch and listen for your chance to WIN tickets to Rock The Country, Rock The South, Bourbon and Beyond, Inkcarceration, Sonic Temple, Welcome to Rockville, and other festivals we are giving tickets away for in 2025 all on The Pipeman Radio Tour. DM @pipemanradio on socials to be entered.   Plus, Pipeman will rant in his segment PipePeeves.  WTF national day is it? Rebel runs this segment and she will go through all the National days it is.  Pipeman's favorite today LashDay, which is also a PipePeeve.  Listen and comment to us which your favorites are.Take some zany and serious journeys with The Pipeman aka Dean K. Piper, CST on The Adventures of Pipeman also known as Pipeman Radio syndicated globally “Where Who Knows And Anything Goes”.    Subscribe to The Adventures of Pipeman at https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-adventures-of-pipeman--941822/support    Would you like to be a sponsor of the show?  Would you like to have your business, products, services, merch, programs, books, music or any other professional or artistic endeavors promoted on the show?  Would you like interviewed as a professional or music guest on The Adventures of Pipeman, Positively Pipeman and/or Pipeman in the Pit?  Would you like to host your own Radio Show, Streaming TV Show, or Podcast?    Contact the Pipeman:Phone/Text Contact – 561-506-4031Email Contact – dean@talk4media.com    Follow @pipemanradio on all social media outlets    Visit Pipeman Radio on the Web at linktr.ee/pipemanradio, theadventuresofpipeman.com, pipemanradio.com, talk4media.com, w4cy.com, talk4tv.com, talk4podcasting.com. Download The Pipeman Radio APP.The Adventures of Pipeman is broadcast live Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays at 1PM ET and Music & Positive Interviews daily at 8AM ET on W4CY Radio (www.w4cy.com) and replays on K4HD Radio (www.k4hd.com  – Hollywood Talk Radio part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com). The Adventures of Pipeman TV Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com).The Adventures of Pipeman Podcast is also available on www.theadventuresofpipeman.com and www.pipemanradio.com,  Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.

Saint Michael's hosts a town celebration.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Young Men of the ChoirChoir practice at St. Michael's church was always a lively affair. Yet, for the past year or so, it lacked a full spectrum of harmony, because of the ailing older men who provided base and baritone fullness to many of the arrangements.Recently, it had become a lot harder on Gordon's ears due to a couple of new members. James and Jordan were two eager eighteen-years old, and the twin sons of Debbie the Sunday school teacher. They both hit puberty rather late, having had vocal changes occur at about their 16th birthday. Last month Gordon overheard the two brothers shout cheers for their favorite Premier League team, while getting in their car, after Sunday morning service.The husky, revelry, inspired Gordon to take on the challenge of refining the twins into a huge asset for the church choir. That enthusiasm diminished after their first choir practice."I've got my work cut out, getting that lot into shape ready to sing at the community coronation celebration, next month!" Gordon told Jenna at their weekly 'organ practice.' "They're bloody awful. I know they're Debbie's boys and she's chuffed they're finally getting involved in church life, but I fear they're tone deaf!""Oh dear, that's no good,” Jenna said as she finished playing Crown Him with Many Crowns and then readied herself to play a much more interesting organ.Jenna could feel Gordon rubbing his hardening cock against her arse. It was then that she had an idea."I think I should give those two boys some extra inspiration," she smiled. "Maybe they're not completely tone deaf. With a bit more instruction, their voices might be passable.""Hmm, maybe." Gordon replied, his voice shaking with arousal. "They're coming in tomorrow afternoon for extra instruction and vocal training. I've taught some pretty poor choirboys and choirgirls over the years. Some did vastly improve and go on to have terrific careers in music."Jenna switched off the organ and slid round on the stool. "Do you want me, Gordy?" She asked, darting her tongue between his lips. "Tell me how much, if you do,”"Desperately!" He growled. "My God, you're so fucking hot! Pardon my language, I forgot we're in the church.""You say the loveliest things."Gordon was hornier than usual tonight. He'd recovered from a bad cold and was eager to make up for lost time. Adjusting the open-fronted black robe he always wore in church, he tried furiously to unbuckle his belt and unzip his trousers with one hand while feeling his way to unfasten Jenna's blouse and bra with the other."Oh, organ daddy is eager tonight!" She cooed. "Swell to Great!" she added, referring to one of the organ stops, which in recent months had become a double entendre."I've already swelled," Gordon sighed, as he feasted on her beautiful tits. "Oh Jenna, Daddy needs you so much.""Let me give you a hand, then." She pulled out his thick cock and began stroking it.His shaking hands were soon pulling her soaking wet panties to one side and he wasted no time in sinking his entire cock straight into her hot, wet cunt. When he was completely inside her, he started to slowly pump it in and out, making the strokes longer and faster, banging her back and arse against the organ's manuals, until she was literally screaming with pleasure. Her cries echoed through the empty church."Oh my darling Jenna! Yes!" Gordon groaned. "You're such a good girl! I love fucking your nice, ripe, young cunt! You're going to make me cum hard! I'm going to fill your young body with so much cum! Ah!"Gordon's thick, hot load spurted fast, deep and hard into her."Ahh, that was lovely," she whispered in his ear. "You always pull out all the stops!" Jenna gasped as they recovered from their intense orgasms. Once again, the organist had left her thoroughly entertained. She rested her head on his shoulder and he gently slipped his arms around her."Do you remember the first time we, did it?" Gordon replied, planting soft kisses on her forehead. "Such a long time ago, when you seduced me right here on this organ stool and I hopelessly surrendered to your charms?""Hee hee. How could I forget that? You were powerless to resist. And so shy at first,”"Me? Shy?" Gordon spluttered. "I think not, I was just stunned.""You blushed when you came back from the gents and saw me sat here on the stool!""Organists don't blush! We just, swell." Gordon replied, though his cheeks were already turning several shades of red."Of course," Jenna replied, running her fingers through his thick, silver hair.“And let me fill in for you, tomorrow. I want those fellas to get a vision for how they can add to the choir.”The next day, Jenna was in church alone, practicing a few pieces of music on the organ. Sensing the presence of someone, she stopped and peered over the top of the partition."Oh good. They're here.""Good afternoon you two!" She announced, as James and Jordan headed down the aisle. The two blonde-haired lads looked surprised to see the vicar's wife."Oh, Mrs. Morris," Jordan exclaimed. "Is Gordon here? He asked us to meet him here for some extra choir practice.""Afraid Gordon's needing me to fill in. Hope you're not too disappointed."They both looked at each other. "As if! Gordon's a bit,”"Strict?" Jenna replied. "Yes he is, but he's been organist and choirmaster for a long time and he takes his job very seriously. This coronation concert is really important for the church. The Mayor will be attending. So it's important that we get those voices of yours up to scratch. I think a little bit of extra inspiration is needed."“Some parishioners heard the two of you chanting support for your favorite Premier League football team, a few weeks ago. Is that true?”“Manchester, all the way!” James beamed.“Ah, great team!” Jenna affirmed. “So, do me a favor, please. Can you two repeat that chant you shouted in the car park?”The guys repeated their team Busby Boys chant;Hello, helloWe are the Busby BoysHello, helloWe are the Busby BoysAnd if you are a City fan surrender or you'll dieWe all follow UnitedJenna looked puzzled. “Fellas, I'm having a hard time believing that's what they parishioners were treated to in the car park? Gordon said he heard a very masculine machismo boistering. He heard passion, bravery, smack-talking cockiness. Let's try again, but I'm going to join you, okay? And if either of you hear my voice overpowering your powerful masculine cheers, it is to your shame.”Jordan began the Busby Boys chant again, and the twin baritones filled the high ceilings of the great sanctuary with the richest a-capella Jenna had ever heard since joining the church a year ago.James and Jordan were breathing heavily, and feeling great affirmation of what they have the vocal power to do, in that place of worship.“Bravo!” Jenna cheered, clapping her hands. This is the raw masculinity that our church needs in worship. Gordon can teach you technique and tone, but Manchester United is where you found your masculine identity. Can you bring that with you to practices and performances?”“Uh, sure;” Jordan said. James nodded.Jenna slid herself off the organ stool in such a way as to ensure a flash of her panties. She had put on one of her favorite short black dresses, which was hardly suitable attire for church. She'd borrowed Gordon's black robe. It was unzipped in front, but too big for her and kept slipping off her shoulders."This thing's not my size at all," she muttered. "Best left for Gordon." She removed it, and sensed the two lads eyeing her up as she draped it over a pew. She was wearing a sleeveless black dress that clung in all the right places.Jordan gave a cough. "Um, Mrs. Morris,”"Jenna, please. No need to be so formal. You're not at school now, are you? In fact I shouldn't be calling you choirboys at all, seeing as you've just turned eighteen. I think choirmen would be more suitable, yes?""Yeah!" They both gave nervous grins.“Well I'm a woman,” Jenna explained. “I can tell you, the good women of the church really want the men to be men. Good men, virtuous, but men. Please promise me you'll continue to be the men God created you to be? And you're a perfectly matched pair of baritones. You have no idea how incredible your resonance can be, if you refine your craft.”"Okay, we'll just have an hour going over the pieces that Gordon mentioned. Nothing too intense. How does that sound?""Great, yeah." James said with new enthusiasm."James, is it true that you want to be an organist some day?""That's right. I start uni in September."“Let's get the sheet music Gordon assigned for this week,” Jenna turned away and fiddled with some music books on the shelf at the side of the organ, bending at the waist and swaying a bit more than she needed to."She is well fit!" Jordan whispered to his brother."Wish she'd take over from Gordon permanently! Yeah. I'd do her." James boasted.Jenna smirked to herself, then stood back up and faced James; "My my, aren't you eager?"James froze. Shit, she overheard! "To sing? Oh sure, we wanna get this right." He awkwardly scratched the side of his head.She walked a couple steps over to him, and carelessly dropped one of the music books on the floor. She squatted down in front of him. Gazing up, she could see the outline of a massive cock hardening behind the skinny jeans he was wearing."Oh, not just to sing!" Jenna said, and slowly slid her hands up his thigh. James just stood there, stunned, not knowing what to do or say. Her fingers were soon tracing the outline of his big, thick, long cock through his jeans."Oh my, James!" Jenna said, "You are a big fella."Jordan gawped as the vicar's wife continued caressing his brother's thigh."So; who wants to go first?" Jenna looked to James, then over to Jordan."Umm," they both mumbled."James," Jenna said, massaging his cock through his jeans, "I think someone wants to come out and say hi, don't you?""Uh, yes!" He gasped, blushing.Jenna unfastened his jeans, and pulled them and his boxers down to his knees. She was pleasantly surprised. Definitely a cock worthy of an organist, or future organist! “You truly are an organist!”She aimed his aching erection straight for her open mouth, and didn't stop until she had thrust his whole shaft straight down her warm, wet throat."Whoa, holy shit!" James groaned as Jenna worked her amazing talented, tongue, swirling round and round his youthful cock. A few seconds of her incredible cock-skills was all he could take and he was soon pumping a whole load of hot cum straight down her lovely throat."Fuckin' 'ell!"Jenna greedily swallowed every drop, her unblinking eyes gazing up at him the whole time. She even kept on gently sucking long after she'd already sucked him completely dry."Delicious! What a good man you are, James. I'd say you hit all the right notes there and are perfectly tuned-up! Now how about your brother, pipe?"Jordan didn't hesitate, and soon had his jeans unzipped. Jenna wrapped her fingers around his aching cock. Like his brother, he was generously endowed, and quick to rise to the occasion, however his lack of experience would mean a swift conclusion. Nothing wrong with that, of course. They were young and eager. In time, they could be molded into excellent lovers. Jenna thought about the time she seduced the nervous, virgin curate in the church hall's storeroom. Thanks to her, Josh was now full of confidence and an expert in the bedroom, and he had recently got engaged.Her hand was pumping Jordan's nice, young cock good and hard."Oh God, fuck yes!"She leaned in and licked the head of his cock a few times, before running her tongue up and down the length of it. Her lips kissed and sucked the tip of his cock as her tongue teased it a few times. It twitched uncontrollably. Jenna slid it into her mouth while looking intently into his eyes. Jordan pressed his hips forward and was surprised to see her eagerly take the entire length of his member into her mouth. She grabbed his ass cheeks and pulled him tight. She sucked his shaft hard, making him yell with pleasure. She savored the taste of pre-cum."Oh Jenna! I'm gonna cum!"The vicar's wife began to suck him harder, her tongue sliding over and around his cock as her head as was pushed and pulled back and forth. She sucked Jordan's cock for all it was worth, caressing his balls at the same time.Oh dear God, then it came, what she was waiting for. Jordan's cock erupted in a white creamy fountain; he couldn't stop. He was groaning in ecstasy. Jenna swallowed every drop, gulping it down."Umm, tastes so good! Another yummy load. You really needed to unload, didn't you?Jordan's eyes were now closed and he was breathing heavily.Well, that gets you fully tuned-up, too. I guess we're about done here," Jenna said, standing up and planting a kiss on both their cheeks. "But, we'd better do a bit of singing as well. "I'll give you a few minutes to, compose yourselves, then meet me at the piano. Then we'll sing Onward Christian Soldiers! If you boys can sing as expertly as you shoot your cum, the coronation service will be a massive success!"Polishing the Mayor's Ceremonial MaceIt was Thursday morning and the coronation of King Charles III was by now, tantalizingly close. Over at St Michael's vicarage however, all was not well."What do you mean we can't have a street party outside the church this Sunday?" Reverend Morris exclaimed. "There was no problem last year when we had the Jubilee celebrations."The council official at the end of the line muttered something about it being the Mayor's rule, and hung up."Bloody councils," the vicar moaned. "Full of useless overpaid pen-pushers. The Mayor's coming to visit our church later today too. I've a good mind to raise the issue with him face to face."Jenna raised an eyebrow. "I thought being a mayor was just a ceremonial role. How come he's not letting the church hold a street party?""Some red tape about obstructing the King's Highway or something.""But we're holding a party to honor the new King! Surely rules can be waived just this once?""We could always pretend to be eco protesters," Reverend Morris remarked.Jenna uncrossed her legs and began thinking. "That Mayor needs some persuading. "I can't have Simon's plans ruined by pesky red tape,”Mayor Harrison Buckingham rolled his eyes as he turned into the small car park of St Michael's church hall."Right, time for another tedious hour shaking hands with old ladies and giving fake smiles," the corpulent man muttered as he parked the Jaguar."Keys," his wife replied."What, you're not coming in with me?""Not a chance. You can do this all by yourself, darling. I'm off to the Trafford Centre for a spot of retail therapy.""But, but, Pauline, you're the Mayoress! And how am I going to get home?""And you're the Mayor dear. A small church like this only needs one of us. Our house is five minutes from this church. You could either phone a taxi or do something really daring, such as walk home. Keys."He grumbled to himself but did as she asked."Ah, he's here," Reverend Morris said. Jenna observed the approaching man carefully. Aged about sixty, overweight, and with greying hair that was dominated by a large and very obvious toupee. His gold mayoral chains glinted in the late spring sunshine."Oh, he's a chonky lad." Jenna chuckled."From what I've heard, he's dishonest and drinks a lot." Reverend Morris whispered. "His smile is as fake as that hairpiece he's wearing. Norman Winstanley knows him from the Men's Fellowship meetings, and said he's made a fool of himself several times.""Perfect qualities for someone working on the council then," Jenna smirked."By the way, I heard Norman has moved in with Gladys Wilcox and become her lodger.""There's something kinky going on between those two, I'm certain of it." Jenna said."What? As if. She's in her eighties!" The vicar gasped."Just because there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean the fire's gone out!" Jenna replied. "Although Gladys once confessed to me that she had a bit of a fancy for Gordon. I guess Norman's her second choice as he was willing to do whatever she asked of him."Reverend Morris' eyes widened. "I'm sure he only helps her with D I Y projects and her shopping.""Well I still think there's more to it. Mark my words. I don't think Gladys is the prim old widow you think she is!"Reverend Morris fiddled with his surplice. "Ah, good afternoon Mayor!""Hello there, Vicar!" He shook hands. "Oh and who is this lovely lady? Your daughter I presume?""No, my wife, Jenna.""Ah, my bad. Dearie me, either you're his second wife or you've got a bloody good plastic surgeon! Ha ha ha!"Reverend Morris cringed. "Jenna is my second wife. Lucy and I divorced a year ago."Oh I see. Well don't blame you there, Reverend. Wish I could do the same but She Who Must Be Obeyed won't let me. Ha ha ha!""Where is the Mayoress?" Jenna interrupted."Afraid she's, tested positive for Covid," the Mayor lied, hoping that they hadn't noticed his wife driving away."Oh what a shame," Jenna replied. "So you're all alone? Never mind, I will be glad to show you round our beautiful church.""Can't stand the bloke," Reverend Morris whispered to his wife as they entered the church. "There's tactless and then there's downright offensive. The man's a complete buffoon.""Leave him to me," Jenna said. "I don't mind showing him round.""I'm not leaving you alone with that creep!" Reverend Morris exclaimed."Oh Simon, I can easily handle a chubby chap in gold chains. He wouldn't dare do anything in a church, surely?" She was desperate to get the Mayor alone."In this day and age, can't let your guard down,” He was interrupted by Norman."Sorry to interrupt, Vicar. The builders have arrived to repair the church hall roof. But there's another problem.""Can't this wait, Norman? We're just showing the Mayor round.""Afraid not." He lowered his voice and whispered. "They've discovered asbestos.""What? Oh no! That'll cost a fortune to remove. And I've spent weeks promoting that church roof fundraiser. I'm not running any more quarter marathons!""Yeah. Not good for the church finances, but the hall can't be used until it's all been removed by a specialist company. It can't be done until after the Coronation weekend. I've been speaking to the Treasurer and he wants you to give the green light to get someone in to get it sorted. Could you just pop round and sign some paperwork?""Sure, no problem." He turned to Jenna. Before he could say anything, she stopped him."I'll take care of you-know-who," she smiled, and gave both of them a wink.""Looks like it's just you and me, Mr. Mayor," Jenna said, taking hold of the Mayor's arm. "Do excuse my husband, but I'm afraid he's just found out there's asbestos in the church roof, so that means we can't hold our Coronation party in there." Jenna gave a loud and deliberate sigh as the two walked into the empty church vestry. "And what with the ban on having a street party, I don't know what we're going to do. Maybe you could pull a few strings and allow us to block the road, just this once?"The obese official adjusted his shirt collar. "Mrs. Morris, I appreciate how upsetting that must be for your church, but,”"I'd be ever so grateful, and I'd make it worth your while in ways you could never imagine,”Now he was intrigued. "Oh? Bribery is it? Well I'm anyone's for a bottle of single malt. Or a good box of cigars,”"Oh I'm sure I could run to that, Mr. Mayor. In fact I could give you even more than that if you'd just let me show you.""Oh, you've whetted my appetite already. What could be better than whiskey and cigars?" He was no stranger to taking backhanders."Something like this?" Jenna said, reaching down and squeezing his thigh.The Mayor jolted in surprise. He grinned and gave her a flash of yellow teeth."Are all vicar's wives as welcoming as you?""I truly couldn't say. But I do have a thing for men in suits who wear ceremonial chains," Jenna continued, still massaging his thigh. He was smiling and winking at her and she noticed a bulge growing in the front of his light grey trousers. Her eager eyes kept involuntarily fixing on it."I can show you my ceremonial mace if you'd like," the Mayor whispered, his plump face red with lust. Thank God Pauline chose to go shopping! He thought."Umm, I would love to get my hands on that," Jenna said. "Let's go over to the organ. It's got a nice big stool for you to sit on."He just nodded excitedly. Upon arriving at the organ, the Mayor and put his hands on Jenna's arse and lifted her up. She wrapped her arms around his sweaty neck and wrapped her legs (as best she could) around his fat waist. He pressed his mouth against hers and plunged his tongue in. His breath was scented with whiskey and cigar smoke, and as his actions proved, it had been a long time since he last got laid. Not so much a kiss as being slobbered by a dog, she thought. Jenna broke the kiss and beckoned him to sit on the stool."Ah, want to see my ceremonial mace, you hungry girl?""Definitely, Mr. Mayor!" Jenna said, wiping a gallon of saliva off her face.He unzipped his trousers, revealing white briefs similar to the ones Gordon wore, however that was where the similarity ended. While Gordon's were nice and clean and fresh, the Mayor's underpants bore several piss stains and were definitely overdue for a change, as a ripe smell wafted forth.Dear God, Jenna thought. Who would believe it. The Mayor of our town having such dirty undies! She was a bit disgusted, but still curious to see more.The Mayor pulled out his cock, and before Jenna knew it, she was face to face with his "ceremonial mace." It was small, but fully erect. He was smiling down at her with his discolored teeth."There, what do you think, eh?""Oh it's a lovely one," Jenna replied. My God, compared with my husband or Gordon, he's tiny! Still, good things come in small packages, as they say."Don't be shy dear," the Mayor added, desperate for more.His dick was sweaty and smelly. Wrinkling her nose, Jenna slipped her hand round it and began jacking it, wondering why it smelled so bad."Ah, yes. That's the way, sweetheart. I might have to start attending this church, ah! Open your sweet little mouth, my darling."Jenna slid the foreskin back and noticed a lot of smegma. "Mr. Mayor, someone's a bit of a dirty boy.""That's alright, dear. You can clean it off for me."She turned away but he gripped her head firmly and pulled it back towards his cock. Unable to resist, Jenna's mouth suddenly opened and he slid closer, holding her head steady until he had thrust his whole shaft inside.It didn't take Jenna long to get used to the smell, and as she worked her magic on his modestly-sized cock, she found she quite liked the taste of mayoral cheese, and licked it all up. He moaned in ecstasy.A minute later and the dirty, corrupt fat bastard shot his thick, tangy load of spunk down Jenna's throat."Ah. Praise be to the Lord," the Mayor groaned, when she finally withdrew."There, the mace has been polished," Jenna smiled, zipping him up. "And now, Mr. Mayor, about the street party. I would really appreciate if you could ensure it's able to go ahead. Also, if you could donate a few thousand pounds to aid in the asbestos removal at the church hall,”The Mayor stood up. "A few thousand quid? Now steady on lass, I'm usually good for a bob or two, but there's a cost of living crisis,”"Umm, I understand times are hard, but you see, refusal isn't really an option. This church has concealed security cameras, so it would be a dreadful shame if footage of your ceremonial mace and dirty underpants were to somehow end up on the Internet,”Forgive me Lord for telling a lie whilst in church, she said to herself.The overfed official looked mortified. His lip quivered. Utterly defeated, he shrunk back down on the stool, as timid as a lamb. "Umm, whatever you require, I, I'll make sure you get it."Jenna smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you so much Mr. Mayor. You're a true ass, asset to this town. And I really did enjoy polishing your ceremonial mace."At that moment, the church door opened and Reverend Morris came marching down the aisle."Sorry for taking so long," he prattled. "What a nightmare, now that this asbestos has been discovered."Jenna calmly appeared from behind the organ."Hello my love. I've been keeping the Mayor busy by teaching him to play a few notes on the organ. He found it really interesting!"The man in question suddenly appeared. "Asbestos you say, Vicar? Don't worry about that. I'll see that it gets sorted out pronto. We had the same problem in the town hall. Nasty stuff is asbestos. As a Christian, it's my duty to ensure that the good folk of this lovely church have a safe building. So don't worry about the cost, I'll glad pay for any repairs and removal."Reverend Morris looked totally stunned. "Oh, my good heavens, thank you so much, sir!""Oh and do please go ahead and hold your street party, in the street! I'll ensure the numpties at the council don't cause any bother. Well, I really must get going, so much to do, so little time. I'll stop by on Sunday and join the celebrations! Nice to meet you both! Thanks for, showing me round Mrs. .er, Jenna! Good day!" He shook both their hands and hurried out."What an extraordinary kind gesture!" The vicar smiled. "All our problems are solved, just like that. I was wrong about the Mayor. It seems he is a genuine man after all.""Just goes to show, you can't judge someone on hearsay," Jenna replied. "Oh look, his wig fell off!" She picked up the toupee off the floor. "Never mind, he looks better without it, don't you think?"As a fellow balding man, I agree!" Reverend Morris said, slipping his arm round his wife and strolling down the aisle. "However, we must discreetly return it to him."The Coronation celebrations at St. Michael's church were a massive success, and everyone had a fantastic day as the entire town came together. The notoriously unreliable British weather behaved itself for once, and provided warm, sunny conditions. The concert choir sounded fantastic. The addition of two rich baritones brought balance and fullness to the sound. The final arrangement was ‘God Save The King'. When the song ended, Gordon flowed into an improv rhythm. He nodded to the twins and they belched out a boisterous chant of God Save the King. Jenna stood up at her piano and raised her fist while passionately joining the twin's chant. The entire assembly soon joined and for about 30 seconds, it felt loke the rafters were shaking. Then a boisterous applause followed. The vicar then dismissed the concert ."I do love the pomp and splendor," Gordon said as he wolfed down a plateful of sausage rolls."Not to mention the food," Jenna said, pinching his arse when no-one was looking."Have to keep my strength up with you around, the organist replied. And the twins were amazing! I've never seen teenagers improve so rapidly. How did you inspire the fellas?”Jenna beamed; “A lady never tells,” she winked. “I absolutely loved that chant at the end of the program, Gordon. Thanks for adding it. The young people were the loudest.”Are we, you know, having organ practice this Thursday?""Of course we are," she replied, with a wink. Noticing the Mayor arriving, she gave a little smile."I'm glad he stopped wearing that wig!” Jenna whispered to Gordon. She also wondered if he washed his undies?England now has her king, the community has a thriving church, and Jenna continued to play her charming role as the first lady of Saint Michael's.To be continued.By Blacksheep for Literotica.

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Where can two strippers get a bite to eat on Christmas Eve? By  MelissaBaby. (abridged) Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. “Fuck Christmas,” Clover shouted, “and fuck you, Tony. Fuck Santa Claus, fuck his elves and fuck all ten goddamn reindeers.” “Eight,” Roxanne said, filing her nails and looking at her over the top of her glasses. “Shut up, Roxy, I'm talking about reindeers, not how many cocks you sucked over the weekend.” “Clover, calm down,” Tony said, “It was worth taking a shot.” “Bullshit, I told you nobody goes to a strip club on Christmas Eve.”“She did tell you,” Roxanne said, “Even louder that she's telling you now.” “Look,” he said, shrugging, “I'm sorry, but it wasn't nobody…” “We've had five customers,” Clover said. “And the last one was two hours ago,” Roxanne chimed in, “It's almost ten thirty.” Clover jerked her thumb at Roxanne. “She might look like a doofus wearing that stupid Santa hat, but she's right.” Tony held up his hands, “Okay, it turned out to not be a great idea. You guys are always saying that more customers come in because they are lonely than because they are horny. I figured it would be a lonely night for a lot of guys…” “It might be a great night to be a hooker,” Clover said, “but not a dancer.” He looked at his watch, then over his shoulder at LeAnn, the bartender. “Tell you what,” he told her, “If nobody else comes in before eleven, go ahead and close up.” He started to walk away, but Roxanne called him back. “We paid our club fees, Tony, that isn't right.” He looked up toward the ceiling, as if he were looking for a script to read from. “You want to close and go home early, but you want your club fees refunded because I said we would close and you could go home early?” “No,” Clover said, “We want our club fees refunded because we paid you fifty dollars to dance on a night when you dragged us in here to dance, even though we told you nobody was coming the fuck in.” “Fine,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, “LeAnn, give them back their club fees.” The door opened, and they both groaned, but it was not a customer. Sporty, the Gold Dollar's bouncer, came in. “Speaking of guys you'll fuck,” Clover muttered. When he approached the bar, she said, “Hey Sporty, how come you go out with Roxy? I always heard black guys like girls with nice big asses.” “I always heard strippers were friendly,” he shot back. He sat down next to Roxanne. “Where have you been?” she asked him. “Yeah,” Clover said, “There could have been a brawl in here, between the rats and the cockroaches.” “I was sitting out in my car, listening to some jams.” Clover tipped out and gave LeAnn a big hug, then she and Roxanne walked out to their cars in a light cold rain. “You ain't waiting for Sporty?” Clover asked. “Nope, don't want to talk to him right now. Meet you at the diner.” They each got in their cars. A light coating of slush covered Roxanne's windshield, but the wipers easily pushed it to the side. She pulled out of the parking lot on to the slippery street and drove the mile and a half to their usual after work spot, the Finest Kind Diner, while Clover followed close behind. When she turned into the diner's parking lot she noticed immediately that the lights were turned off, except for a string of colored Christmas bulbs blinking around the front door. Clover thought for a minute. “We could go to Denny's.” “Are they open?” “How the fuck would I know? Call ‘em up.” “Oh, so I have to look up the number?” “I figured it has a man's name, so you would know it.” Roxanne sat back in her seat. “I don't want to drive all the way across town, just to go to Denny's. What else would be open?” “Just White Castle.” Roxanne thought for a minute. “Yeah, what the fuck, let's go to White Castle.” “We ought to just go in one car,” Clover suggested. “Fine. Yours or mine?” “Yours,” Clover said, “Mine is more full of trash than a westside trailer park.” She pulled her car into a parking space, shut it off and got out. “I hate this drizzly shit,” she said as she got into Roxanne's passenger seat. “Hey, don't you live in a westside trailer park?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that's why I know what I am talking about.” “Speaking of knowing what you're talking about,” Roxanne said, “Santa Claus has eight reindeer.” “Are you counting Rudolph?” “Nope. Rudolph doesn't count.” “Who decided that?” “Clement Moore.” “Who the fuck is he? Sounds like a baseball player.” “He wrote The Night Before Christmas.” “Twas the night before Christmas,” Clover recited in a sing song voice, “And all through the place, Roxanne was sitting on every guy's face.” “And up from the lawn there arose such a clatter,” Roxanne returned, “As Clover devoured the whole turkey platter.” Clover nodded her head. “That was pretty good,” she admitted. Roxanne was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You wonder though, who the fuck would name a reindeer Blitzen? What is he, a Nazi reindeer?” “I bet Rudolph was originally Adolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and they changed it during the war or something. Hey, what's going on with you and Sporty?” “He wants me to go to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.” “And you don't want to go?” “Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend from the strip club?” “Oh yeah, I get it. But still, you guys been going out for a while now. You are going to meet them sooner or later.” “It doesn't have to be on Christmas with all the relatives there.” “So what are you going to do?” “I don't know.” There were three cars parked outside the White Castle when they arrived. The restaurant's windows were so wet with condensation that they could not see through them. But when they dashed inside, they were nearly blinded by the garish light. “This is like sensory overload,” Roxanne said, as Jingle Bell Rock squalled from a tinny sound system. They walked over to the counter. There was no one behind it. Roxanne leaned forward, craning her neck to look back into the kitchen. She saw a young man in a white uniform and a hairnet dumping french fries out of a fryer basket. “Excuse us,” she called. He looked over his shoulder. “Be with you in a minute, ma'am,” he said. Clover cackled and nudged Roxanne with her elbow. “Ma'am. He thinks you're an old fucking lady.” “Yeah, and he thinks I'm taking my mom out for Christmas Eve.” The man came to the counter. His name badge identified him as Julio, assistant manager. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked. “I'd like four hamburgers, an order of medium fries and a large coffee, regular,” Roxanne said. “Give me six whiteys and a large Mountain Dew,” Clover added. “Would you like fries with that?” “Fuck no, I'm gonna eat most of hers.” Julio rang up their orders and Roxanne paid for both. Clover looked around the room. There were three occupied booths. In one a pair of middle aged men, wearing the uniforms of parking attendants, sat sipping coffee. At another, an older woman in a ragged green coat had only a cup of water and a single empty burger box on the table in front of her. A couple of booths down, three young, black clad goths were sitting together. They looked to be in their early twenties; two boys, one very large, the other thin and jittery, and a purple haired girl sitting across from them, loudly chewing gum. They all looked like they were coming down off a much better time than they were having now. “It's kind of a sad looking bunch of people in here,” Clover said. “Yeah,” Roxanne said, “It's Christmas Eve and they've got no place to go.” “That sounds familiar. I mean, what the fuck is the difference between them and us?” “We've got money in our pockets.” “Yeah, money we took from other lonely people,” Clover said. She looked lost in thought for a moment, then asked Roxanne, “How much money you think you've got in your pocket?” “I don't know, a hundred, maybe a hundred and twenty dollars.” Clover looked around the room, her lips tight and her brow knotted. “I'll bet I know what you're thinking,” Roxanne said. “It's fucking Christmas,” Clover said, shrugging. Roxanne called Julio back to the counter. “How much are those sacks of thirty sliders?” she asked him. “Thirty two dollars and fifty two cents.” She looked over her shoulder at the woman with her single burger. “Give me two sacks,” she said, fishing her cash out of her pocket. “You still want the other order?” “Yeah,” Clover said, “And I want you to give anybody whatever they want to drink. Keep a tab and I'll pay for them later.” Julio hesitated a moment, then said, “Okay, it will take a little bit of time. Your other order will be up in a minute.” When their food was ready, they went to the empty table between the old lady and the goths. As they walked past the parking attendants, Clover asked them, “How you guys doing? You had to work tonight?” “Fuckin' Nutcracker,” one of them grumbled. “So are you going to see your son tomorrow?” Roxanne asked Clover when they had taken their seats. Clover nodded. “Not till the afternoon. But I get to have him the next day, too.” “Have you got plans?” “I was thinking we'd go to Hong Kong Garden for dinner.” “And the next day?” “Are you kidding? The day after Christmas? We're going fucking shopping.” Roxanne laughed. “Yeah I'm sure that'll thrill a ten year old boy, going shopping with his mom.” They had each finished two burgers when Julio called to them that their order was ready. Clover walked over to the counter, picked up a bag of hamburgers in each hand and turned to face the dining area. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she hollered, “My friend Poindexter and I would like to treat everyone to Whiteys for Christmas.” She went from table to table, holding out the bags, so that each person could take some burgers. “And if anyone wants something to drink,” she said, “It's on us. Just step up and tell Julio what you want.” After going to each table, she had half a bag left. She put it on the table in front of Roxanne and sat down. Roxanne twisted in her seat and watched as several of the patrons went to the counter and ordered drinks. She noticed that the old woman in the next booth had neither gotten up nor taken any burgers. She took one from the bag, leaned over the back of the booth and asked, “Would you like another burger, ma'am?” “Are you sure it's okay?” “Of course it is,” Roxanne said, “Merry Christmas.” “Merry Christmas, dear,” the woman replied, taking the burger. Roxanne's phone buzzed. “I bet I know who that is,” Clover muttered. Roxanne looked at the screen. “Yeah, it's Sporty.” She sat back in the booth and answered, simply saying, “Hey.” “Listen baby,” he said, “I wish you hadn't split like that. I don't want you mad at me, whether you go tomorrow or not.” “I never said I was mad at you, Sporty. I'm just tired of all the back-and-forth on this shit.” “I don't think having Christmas with my family is shit.” “Now you're just looking to be offended. They know where you work, right?” “Yeah.” “So, you're going to tell them your bringing a girl from work to Christmas dinner, so I can sit there, eating turkey with everybody looking at me like I'm a whore.” “Ain't nobody gonna call you a whore.” “My own mom calls me a whore.” “Well, my mom ain't your mom.” “I don't know, Sporty. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this.” “We've been going out almost a year.” “Off and on.” “Whatever. Where are you at anyway? I come over to Finest Kind because I thought you guys would be here.” “They're closed.” “Well, no shit, I just told you I was over here.” “We're at the White Castle on Union Street.” “So, would it be cool if I come by?” “Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a bit.” Roxanne disconnected, shaking her head. “This fucking guy,” she muttered, “I'm telling you, he won't give up…” “And that's a bad thing? Let me ask you something,” Clover said, “and don't get pissed.” “Okay.” “Are you nervous about meeting his family because you think they won't like you being a stripper or because you don't think they'll like you being white?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “Maybe both,” she said. “Either way, I think that's his problem, not yours. I mean it's his family.” “Yeah, but I'm afraid that if they give him a lot of shit about it, he isn't going to pick me over them.” “Well then, fuck him. He ain't worth it if he does that.” Roxanne shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” An old man with flyaway white hair came into the restaurant. He appeared to be wearing just a light sweatsuit under his ratty coat. He sat down next to the old woman. She spoke quietly to him for a minute, then he loudly cleared his throat. “Excuse me, ladies,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Flo says you are buying burgers for everyone. Is that so?” “Sure is,” Clover said. Roxanne took two more burgers from the bag and handed them to him. “Go get yourself a coffee or something,” Clover said, “Whatever you want, it's on us.” The man thanked them, stood and fetched coffee for himself and Flo. Sporty came in a few minutes later, took off his wet coat and hung it on the end of the booth. He slid in next to Roxanne. Looking at the bags on the table, he asked, “Why did y'all buy so many burgers?” “Because we're generous bitches and we share with everybody,” Clover said. “Well, shit then.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a couple of burgers. After a few bites he said, “I need to get a drink.” “Just go to the counter,” Roxanne told him, “We're running a tab.” Sporty stuffed the rest of the burger in his mouth, then went to the counter. He came back a minute later with a large orange soda. “You been thinking about tomorrow?” he asked Roxanne. “Yeah, I've been thinking about it…” “Hey Sporty,” Clover said, interrupting her, “Let me ask you something.” “Yeah, what?” He reached for another burger. “Why do so many black families have macaroni and cheese for Christmas dinner?” “Because it's good as hell. We still have all the regular shit, turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberries and all that.” “Pumpkin pie or sweet potato?” “What do you think? Sweet potato pie.” “What kind of stuffing?” “Cornbread.” “Just plain?” “Fuck no, my mom puts Jimmy Dean sausage in it.” “Damn!” Clover exclaimed. “Listen, if this silly bitch don't want to come to your mom's house for Christmas dinner can I come?” “You can both come as far as I'm concerned.” Roxanne laughed. “That's actually a pretty good plan. If your mom spends five minutes with Clover, she'll think I'm little miss sunshine.” “No, she'll think you're a dumb bitch who thinks Santa only has eight reindeer.” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “Damn, you back on that shit?” Sporty said, rolling his eyes. Clover slipped out of the booth. “Fuck you both,” she said, standing up. “Hey everybody,” she shouted, “I'm taking a Christmas survey. How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” There was murmuring throughout the room. The big goth kid was counting on his fingers. One of the parking attendants was quietly singing Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. His friend said, emphatically, “Eight.” The goth girl said “Nine, if you count Rudolph.” “Rudolph wasn't one of the originals,” he replied. “So where did he come from?” “Gene Autry.” “Dead white man,” she muttered. The man who had been singing said, “The Night Before Christmas guy gave them their names.” The skinny goth kid glared over the back of the booth at him. “But who said he was in charge of fucking reindeer?” “He wrote the goddamn poem!” “They didn't know about Rudolph then!” “Isn't it nice to see how the holidays bring people together,” Roxanne said to Sporty. “All right,” Clover said, clapping her hands together. “Let's put it to a vote. How many people say nine?” She raised her hand and the goth kids and the old lady joined her. “Who says eight?” Roxanne, Sporty, the parking guys and the old man raised their hands. Clover looked at Sporty. “Put your fucking hand down, man, your vote don't count.” “Why don't my vote count?” “Because you ain't hoping to get any pussy from me tonight.” “You got that right,” he smirked. Roxanne turned in her seat. “How many people say ten?” They all looked at her, perplexed. No one raised a hand. “That's your cue to sit down and shut the fuck up,” she said to Clover. Clover looked around with a frown, then sat without saying anything more. Sporty looked over his shoulder and said, “Who thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie?” Everyone raised their hand. “Goddamn right,” he muttered. Roxanne nudged him with her elbow. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. He stood up and let her go by. The parking lot guys were getting up to leave. They thanked her for the burgers as she went past their table and wished her a happy holiday. One gave her a big hug. At least he didn't try to cop a feel, she thought as she went into the women's bathroom. When she opened the door to come out a few minutes later, Sporty was standing in front of it. “You know how cute you look in that hat?” he asked. “Do you know how desperate you sound when you try to sweet talk me?” “Nah, I ain't desperate. It'd be alright if you don't want to go tomorrow. I get it. But don't go saying you weren't welcome to go, because you were asked.” “Okay, that's fair. It's just that it's a big step.” “You got to take steps if you want to get anywhere,” he said. She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. Looking past him, she did not see anyone watching them. She gripped the waist of his pants and walked backward, pulling him into the bathroom. Sporty pushed the door shut behind him, and let Roxanne tug him across the room until her hips bumped against the edge of the sink. Roxanne leaned back, looking up at him and biting her lip. He gazed down at her, his hands on her hips, and kissed her. She kissed him back, but then turned her head. “At some point,” she said, “we have to talk about where we are going.” “We do,” he replied, “but we ain't got to do it right now.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and they exchanged a long, hard, tongue swirling kiss. Sporty's hands moved to her breasts, squeezing and caressing them, while Roxanne dropped her hand down to rub his stiff cock through his jeans. “I think you've got something you want to give me for Christmas,” she whispered. “I don't know,” he said, “I don't think you've been a very good girl.” “Do you want me to be a good girl?” “Aw, hell no,” he said. He took a half step back, seized her waist and spun her around to face the sink. Her Santa hat fell off, landing in the basin. He ran one hand down between her legs and cradled her chin in the other. “Look at you,” he whispered in her ear. Her glasses had slipped down her nose. She pushed them back into their proper position and gazed at herself in the mirror. “Look and see what I see.” Roxanne looked at his eyes in the mirror as his hand rubbed and squeezed her pussy. “Don't look at me, look at you.” She stared at her own reflection, resisting the temptation to watch as he unfastened her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. But when his fingers slipped inside her, she leaned her head back and kissed the side of his neck. His fingers probed deep into her, his thumb played with her clitoris. She reached back and rubbed his crotch. She fumbled at his belt until he gently pushed her hand away and undid it himself. Roxanne felt his cock bump against her ass, then slip down between her thighs. He placed his hand between her shoulders and gently pushed her down until her elbows were on the sides of the sink. She picked up her Santa hat and put it back on her head. Sporty kneaded her ass, then spread her thighs, pressed the head of his cock into her pussy and began to fuck her with long, smooth strokes. Clover snickered when she saw Sporty disappear into the women's bathroom. Get your figgy pudding, girlfriend, she thought, don't go until you get some. She walked to the counter and got a refill on her Mountain Dew, then stopped and listened for a minute. The sound wasn't loud, but she could hear them in the bathroom. They were definitely fucking in there. As she walked back to the booth, she saw the goth girl looking toward the bathroom. She glanced up at Clover with a smirk. Clover winked at her and sat back down in the booth. A few minutes later, the skinny goth kid leaned close to the window and peered out. He wiped away the condensation with his sleeve and looked again. “Fucking cops,” he muttered. “What cops?” Clover asked. “Cop car just pulled up.” “Oh, shit,” Clover muttered. She looked toward the bathroom. She couldn't hear Roxanne and Sporty where she was sitting, but there was no doubt that when the cops walked in, they would. They had to walk right past the bathroom to get to the counter. One of them might even go into the mens' room. She thought about warning them somehow, but didn't think there was enough time. That was confirmed when she saw the cops approaching the door. She had to do something. Just as they reached the door, she began singing at the top of her lungs. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. The goth girl looked up at her and immediately realized what she was doing and joined in. Santa Claus is coming to town. The cops walked in. One was an older man. His eyes and shoulders both drooped. There's another guy doesn't want to be working on Christmas Eve, Clover thought. His partner was a young, thin black man. They walked right past the bathroom to the counter. He's making a list, He's checking it twice. The other goth kids joined in the singing. He's gonna a find out who's naughty and nice. The old couple began to sing along. Santa Claus is coming to town. The two cops stood by the counter, looking around the room. Julio approached the cash register. The older cop leaned in and spoke to him. Julio pointed to Clover and the cop looked over at her. He nodded, then spoke to Julio again. He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake Julio handed each of the cops a bag of burgers and a cup of coffee. Now get the fuck out of here, Clover thought, but instead of leaving they walked toward her. The older cop held out his hand. “Awfully nice thing for you to do, ma'am,” he said. The other customers kept singing. Clover shook his hand. The younger cop shook with her as well. They turned toward the door, tipping their hats to the older couple as they went by. The older cop walked out just as the customers were finishing the last chorus, but the younger cop turned and went to the counter. He held out his open bag toward Julio. “Could you toss a couple of ketchups in there?” he asked. Julio nodded and dropped a handful of packets in his bag. “Thank you, Merry Christmas.” he said, then waved to the customers. “Merry Christmas, everyone.” He took two steps toward the door and stopped and looked toward the bathroom. Clover could hear Roxanne moaning from where she was sitting. He looked around the room. “Does anyone know who is in there?” he asked. “Yes, officer,” Clover said, “That's my friend. I'm afraid she ate a few too many of these gut grenades. You know what they can do to your digestion.” “Yeah, we all been there once or twice, I suppose,” he said. He went to the door and started to open it, then stopped, obviously listening to the sounds emanating from the bathroom. He turned and looked Clover in the eyes. An amused expression crossed his face. He winked at her and walked out. Roxanne had already come twice when she heard the singing. She thought it was just in her head until Sporty paused between thrusts and muttered, “What the fuck is that?” “Jesus, don't fucking stop,” she groaned. “Oh, you need some more of this dick?” “Goddamn it, yes, Sporty, fuck me.” He gripped her hips and began slapping his loins against her ass harder. She braced her hands against the mirror and shoved back against each plunge of his cock. “You getting kind of loud,” he told her. She dropped her head and her Santa hat fell off. She grabbed it and bit down on the white felt ball to keep from crying out. But after a minute or two, she let go of it, unable to keep from moaning loudly each time he jammed his cock deep inside her. She looked up at him in the mirror. Their eyes met, and the look of passion on his face pushed her over the edge into another orgasm. Before it subsided, she felt him stiffen, jerk his cock a few more times and withdraw, as his hot cum ran down the inside of her thigh. “At least they stopped that fucking singing,” Sporty said as Roxanne cleaned herself up. He picked up her Santa hat from the floor, brushed it off and stuck it back on her head, then unlatched the door. “Hold on a minute, babe,” Roxanne said. She raised her face and kissed him. “I'd be happy to go to your mom's tomorrow.” “Damn,” he said with a wide grin, “All I had to do was fuck you real good?” “You always fuck me real good.” “Then I will always get my way, right?” “Don't push your luck,” she said, opening the door. As they came out of the bathroom, the goth kids were walking toward the exit. “Merry Christmas. And thanks,” the girl said. “Yeah, thanks,” skinny kid said as well. The big kid stopped, looked at Roxanne and held his fist out toward Sporty. “Yo,” he said, “You da dawg, bro.” Sporty bumped fists with him. “Fucking white kids,” he muttered, chuckling. They slipped back into the booth, where Clover was waiting for them with her arms crossed and a smug expression on her face. “What was that singing?” Sporty asked. “That was me saving the you two fuckpuppies from spending Christmas in the slammer.” “What are you talking about?” Roxanne asked. “A couple cops came in here while you were getting your stocking stuffed. We were singing so they wouldn't hear the noise you were making.” “We weren't making that much noise.” Sporty laughed. “Girl, you loud as hell.” The old couple came to their booth and thanked them for their burgers. “Merry Christmas,” the man said, shaking all their hands. “There is a special place in heaven for you ladies,” the woman said. As they walked away, Clover said, “You think there is a special place in heaven for us?” “If we died tonight, we might at least be able to make a case for it,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “And by next week, we are fucked again.” Julio came out of the kitchen with a damp rag and wiped the table where the parking guys had been sitting. “Hey, Julio didn't vote,” Clover said. She called to him. “Julio, how many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” Julio looked at her with a perplexed expression. “I don't know,” he said. “You know, like in the song. Dancer and Prancer and Donger and Blitzkin…” “Donger?” Roxanne asked. Julio shrugged. “I don't know that song.” “You don't know it? What the fuck country are you from?” He stared as her and said, “Colombia.” “Oh. Shit. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude.” “She doesn't have to try,” Roxanne said, “It's her default mode.” Julio shook his head and returned to the kitchen. “Give the brother a break,” Sporty said, “He's from South America. What the fuck he gonna know about reindeers? Ask him about llamas, he'll probably tell you everything you ever wanted to know.” “I can't think of anything I want to know about llamas,” Clover shot back. “But I do feel kind of bad for the guy. I mean, he'd have had a lot easier night if we hadn't come in here and bought burgers and shit for everybody.” “It's his job,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “Yeah, and we fucking threw a fit because we had to work on Christmas Eve.” “You threw a fit. I didn't.” “You didn't like it.” “No, but I acted like a fucking grown-up about it.” “Yeah, but you have to act like one because you don't look like one.” Sporty looked in the bag. “Anybody want this last burger?” he asked. Roxanne and Clover shook their heads. Sporty bit into the burger, swallowed and said, “You feel so bad for the guy, why don't you do something nice for him for Christmas?” “Like what?” Clover asked. “Like what the fuck you think?” Sporty asked. Clover looked at him for a minute, then tipped her head to look past him. Julio was wiping off the service counter. “He's not a bad looking guy,” Roxanne said. “Well then, why don't you go do it then?” Clover asked. “I wasn't a twat to him.” “Besides,” Sporty said with a grin, “she already got hers.” “I ain't gonna fuck him in the bathroom,” Clover said. Roxanne laughed. “The bathroom is clean, at least.” “You don't think I will do it, do you?” “Bitch, I stopped trying to figure out what you would or wouldn't do about the time you set my boyfriend's car on fire,” Roxanne said. Julio disappeared into the kitchen. “Fuck both of you,” Clover said. She got up and followed him. “Hey, Julio,” she called. He was standing at the dish sink and turned around at the sound of her voice. “Listen, dude,” she said, “I hope I didn't say anything that offended you or got you upset or what not. That's just me clowning around.” “It is fine. I understand.” “Well, I think we put a lot of extra work on you tonight, coming in here and disrupting and shouting and singing and all.” “No, it is fine, Missus.” “Well, it's Christmas and all that. I'd like to maybe give you a little something for your trouble…” Julio waved his hands. “No Missus, we are not allowed to except tips.” “Yeah, I wasn't talking about giving you money.” She looked around and saw an open door at the back of the kitchen. She walked to it and peered into a dark room. “What's in here?” she asked. “That's the manager's office.” Clover walked in and flipped the light switch. A large flat top desk against the far wall nearly filled the room. There was a faux leather swivel chair in front of it. Clover plopped down into it, spun around, and put her feet up on the desk. Julio stood in the doorway, looking nervous. “The manager does not like anyone sitting in his chair,” he said, “No one is allowed.” “But you're the assistant manager right?” “Si.” “So when he ain't here, you're the fucking manager and it's your chair.” “I do not think so…” “And I am your guest, so I can sit in your chair.” “Missus,” he said, “I know it's a foolish rule but I need this job.” “Do you think I'm gonna tell anybody about this?” Julio looked at her with a puzzled expression. “About what, Missus?” “First of all, stop calling me Missus. Then come over here and find out.” She sat up, put her feet on the floor and patted the top of the desk. Julio leaned back and looked around the kitchen as if he suspected someone might be lurking there. Clover patted the desktop again. “The boss told you not to sit in his chair, but he didn't say shit about sitting on his desk, did he?” “No. I suppose he did not.” She pushed the chair back until it banged into the wall. “So have a seat.” Julio bit his lip, seeming lost in thought, then sat on the edge of the desk. “Dude, lose that dumbass apron.” Julio reached behind his back and untied the apron. Before he could pull it over his head, Clover had his belt unbuckled. He watched with an expression of amazement as she deftly unsnapped his waistband, yanked down his zipper, and pulled his cock free. “Do all the men in Columbia have big dicks?” she asked as she wrapped her hand around it. “Si,” Julio said, “It is well known in Latin America, Missus.” “You call me Missus again and I might bite it off,” she said. She flicked her tongue at the head, then wrapped her lips around it and began to suck. Julio briefly lifted his hips from the desk and tugged his pants and shorts down to his thighs. Clover cupped his balls in her left hand, massaging them, while her right hand stroked his shaft. She took it in her mouth again, but almost immediately, she heard a chime ringing. She raised her head and asked Julio, “What the fuck is that?” Julio had a look of panic on his face. “Someone is at the drive-through,” he said, “I must go serve them.” He started to rise, but she put her hands on his hips and pushed him back down. “No, fuck that,” she said, “Stay right there.” She got up and rushed to the dining room. Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth, kissing. “Hey, you fucking lovebirds, I need help here,” she shouted. When they looked at her in surprise, she said, “There's somebody in the fucking drive-through. Either of you guys ever work at a fast food place?” “I worked at Burger King in high school.” Sporty said. “Well, pry Roxy's hand off your whopper and get the fuck in here and find out what they want.” She disappeared back into the kitchen. Roxanne and Sporty looked at each other and shrugged. “I'll give it a try,” Sporty said. He slipped out of the booth and headed toward the kitchen, Roxanne following close behind. “It's like somebody told Santa they wanted a shit show for Christmas,” she muttered. Sporty went to the drive-through window and looked around. “Fuck. I don't know how to use this touchscreen shit,” he said. “Can you at least talk to the guy?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that shit looks the same. Hold on.” He was distracted by the sounds coming from the manager's office. “What's she doing in there?” he asked. “Sounds like she's sucking his dick.” “Damn, she's loud, too. Sounds like somebody got a rag stuck in their wet-vac.” He pressed several buttons on the communications panel, but nothing happened. He fiddled with the volume knob, and clicked the headset on and off, all to no avail. Suddenly, he was startled by a blasting horn, and looked over to see a white pick up truck right outside the window The driver, a large, red faced, bearded man, was glaring at him. “Honey, I don't think that's Santa Claus,” Roxanne said. Sporty slid the window open. “I've been out here trying to order for ten fucking minutes,” the man shouted. “Yeah, sorry about that,” Sporty said. “We got some kind of computer problem.” The man looked past him at Roxanne. “Looks to me like the problem is you're having some kind of party in there.” “Naw, she's the manager. She come in to try to fix it.” “So why isn't she fixing it?” “Sir,” Roxanne said, “I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do about it until the tech guys get here.” “I worked to midnight on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was some burgers for when I get home.” “I'll see what I can get for you, no charge.” She went to the grill. There were onions simmering in the corner and pre-cooked patties in a warming pan. She found a package of buns and put a half dozen on the grill to brown. The man tapped his fingers impatiently on the door of his car. “This is some bullshit,” he barked at Sporty, “You got something for me or not?” “Roxy is fixing it up right now.” “The manager's name is Roxy?” “Yeah, she was named for her grandmom.” Roxanne's glasses kept steaming up from the grill's heat. She did her best to assemble the burgers, but one got no onions, one had triple pickle and some were drenched with mustard and ketchup while others got no more than a drop or two. She boxed the burgers, stacked them in a bag, and handed it to Sporty. “About time,” the man grumbled. “What about a Coke? I need something to drink.” “Coming right up!” Roxanne said with a big smile. As she poured a Coke from the dispenser she thought, I hope those burgers give you the shits, asshole. Sporty handed him the drink and cheerily said, “Merry Christmas, sir.” The man growled. “Yeah, right. I guess the two of you can get back to whatever you were doing now.” “Thank you, sir,” Sporty said, “But we already finished that. Appreciate the thought though.” The man glared at them, muttered something underneath his breath, and drove off. “What did he say?” Roxanne asked. “I didn't catch in, but I think one of the words started with an F and one with an N.” “Feliz Navidad?” “Most likely not.” “Should we figure out how this works, in case someone else pulls up?” “How long Julio gonna take getting his nut?” Roxanne shrugged. “Hold up,” Sporty said, “I got a better idea.” He walked to the back door, opened it and, looking outside, flicked a couple of light switches on the walk. “There you go,” he said. “What did you do?” “Turned off the outside lights, so the place looks closed.” Clover took Julio's cock into her mouth until she felt his pubic hair tickling her nose, then swallowed. That will keep him from trying to go see what's happening in the kitchen, she thought. When she was out of breath, she rose up, releasing his cock with a loud popping sound. She circled the head with her tongue a few times, then dove down and swallowed again. It was late, she was tired, her jaw was starting to ache and her belly was rumbling in complaint over its load of greasy hamburger. She sucked in her cheeks as hard as she could, and Julio exhaled loudly and raised his hips from the desk. As she lifted her head, Julio spurted into her mouth. She swallowed most of it, then picked up his apron off the desk and wiped her face with it, surreptitiously spitting out the rest of his load. He leaned forward, his head hanging low, while he recovered his breath. Clover stood up, and loudly burped. “Sorry about that,” she said. Julio stood, pulling up his pants. “It is okay, Missus.” They walked into the kitchen. Julio immediately noticed that it was dark outside the drive through window. “You friends, I think they turned off the lights,” he said, “I will have to turn them on and to see what else they might have done.” “Okay, well, Merry Christmas, dude.” “And to you, Missus.” Clover turned away, but he added, “Missus?” She looked back. “Maybe you will come for hamburgers again.” Clover looked him over. “Yeah, I might.” Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth when Clover returned to the dining room. Roxanne was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder and her eyes shut. Clover sat down across from them. “You guys about ready to go?” she asked. Roxanne sat up straight and stretched. “Yeah we might as well,” she said. Sporty looked out the window. “That sleet shit turned into real snow,” he said. He nudged Roxanne. “Let me up, baby.” She stood and he slid out of the booth. “Give me your keys,” he said, “I'll get your car warmed up.” She fished her keys out of her purse and handed them to him as he put on his coat. Watching him walk out, Clover said, “When a man cleans the snow off your car for you, he's getting serious. Especially if he does it after you fuck him.” “I think asking me to come with him to his mom's house for Christmas shows that pretty good, too.” “So, stop being a fucking pussy about it. You think you're going to find another nice guy who is obviously crazy about you and doesn't give a shit what you do for a living?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “It doesn't seem likely, does it?” she said at last. They kissed again and Sporty said, “You know, I had a lot of girlfriends before, but I never brought one home with me on Christmas.” She patted his cheek, kissed him and said, “I've had a lot of boyfriends before, but I never fucked one in the bathroom at White Castle on Christmas Eve.” She kissed him on the nose and dashed to her car, calling, “See you tomorrow, babe.” “It's about time,” Clover said, as Roxanne got into the drivers seat, “I'm freezing my tits off over here.” “That's because they're fake.” “Probably. They should've come with like a heater option.” “I wish I'd known it was a problem, I would have got you one for Christmas.” Clover reached across the console and squeezed Roxanne's hand. “Merry Christmas, Rhonda,” she said. Roxanne felt her eyes moisten. “Merry Christmas, Charlene.” The last display before the park exit, the grand finale, was a great arc of lights over the road. On the left, Santa rode in his sleigh, overflowing bags of gift boxes and teddy bears behind him. His reindeer stretched along the arc, their legs blinking in a dance across the night sky. At the right end of the display, Rudolph's nose glowed like a beacon. “Nine!” Clover shouted, “Bitch, count ‘em! nine fucking reindeers!” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “He counts in this town.” “Why? Because Parks and Rec says he does?” Clover sat back, her arms crossed over her chest in triumph. “Nine fucking reindeer,” she smirked. “Eight,” Roxanne muttered. “Nine.” “Eight…” By  MelissaBaby for Literotica

Episode 648: Duck Hunt sweaters are confusing. About as confusing as the Project Blue Beam UFO's flying around New Jersey. Is this a sign of the apocalypse? Or is it bird flu? We'll plumb the depths of the oceanic shelves to find out. Chopped carrots, potatoes, surprise pickles, and the burnt ends.

Virgo's desired damsel gives a surprise ‘window-cam' private performance for him.By Millsy. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. We snogged on her doorstep again, and when she disappeared inside I ran home, straight back up to the loft, and trained the telescope on her bedroom window. Tonight she stood in front of the computer desk with the bedroom light on, facing the window, and unbuttoned her blouse, peeling it off her shoulders in one smooth shrug and allowing it to drop to the floor behind her. She was standing there in jeans and her straining white bra, and I unzipped my trousers and awkwardly pulled out my stiff and aching cock as she reached behind her to unclasp her bra.I saw her big tits full frontal then for the first time, and I watched rapt as her hands cupped them, thumbs stroking the still hard nipples in exactly the way that I had wanted to touch her just moments before as she closed her eyes and licked her lips. Did she know, I wondered, that I was watching her? Was this a show? Had she twigged that the second loft window, the one that I hadn't let her look through in the telescope gave me an unobstructed view of her window? Or was she just doing what she liked to do, touching herself up after she was turned on, whether by the strangers on the internet or by what we had done tonight, and had simply forgotten to close her blinds?Did it matter, I asked myself as my hard cock jerked again at the sight of her unbuttoning her jeans, unzipping them, easing them down past her hips, her panties inadvertently coming down her legs with them. The triangle of her pubic mound stared me in the face, then disappeared as she bent forward, eclipsed for several seconds by her hanging tits as she stepped out of her jeans. I swallowed as she stood again, now totally naked, and she threw her long black hair back over her head and put one foot up on the foot of the bed. I watched her hand slide between her legs and hug her crotch, watched it move up and down as she rubbed herself, watched her pinching her teats with her other hand as she closed her eyes and fantasized about fucking me. Did she know I was here with my cock in my hand, wanking slowly? Did she know that we were right at that moment doing exactly what she did with her internet lovers, that I could see her the through the telescope the way that she could see the webcam cocks that had gotten her off so often in the past?Then she turned and touched the keyboard of her PC, and the monitor sprang to life. She sat down still naked at the desk and typed away. My laptop burbled a warning of an incoming message."What are you doing,” called the screen."Thinking about you,” I replied."That's sweet,” She responded. "Are you busy tomorrow night?""Nothing planned,” I fired back."Come over at eight?""Love to. Can I ask you something?""Of course,” Rebecca replied."Can you send me a photo of you?"She lolled a reply, asking me if I'd forgotten what she looked like already, then I watched her browse through a folder before forwarding me a small 100k jpeg. When I opened it I saw a picture that she'd obviously taken with her mobile by simply holding it out in front of her and guessing. It was skewed and grainy, but the more I saw of her the better looking she seemed to be getting."I like that one,” I thanked her."I chose one of the better ones. I don't seem to be very photogenic, to be honest. Then she warned; “Now, no jerking off over it. I know what you boys are like."In a way I was shocked at the way she just blurted that out, but one thing I was learning about Rebecca was that she had a very mischievous sense of humor and wasn't afraid to use either innuendo or overt and frank sexual language."Well I'm completely flabbergasted at your tone,” I sent back. "As if I would do something like that? Bloody good idea, by the way. See you on the bus.""Good night,” Came back, then we both shut down our screens more or less simultaneously. I watched her for a while longer as she sat naked at her desk, exploring the drawer. After a moment out came a shocking pink colored tube that it took me a few seconds to recognize as a vibrator. She slipped it into her mouth and turned out the light.""No,” I silently screamed, denied the delicious sight of her spearing her pussy with that sex toy, then my cum sprayed all over the floor, catching me completely by surprise.I was late again for the bus, but this time when I boarded there was a youngster sitting next to her. I put my bag on a seat that a friend had kept for me, then I quickly moved back down the bus before the driver pulled away from the bus stop. I leaned over the third former sitting next to Rebecca and kissed her hard on the mouth for a full five seconds before winking and returning to my seat before the driver yelled at me again. I left her red faced, while some of the younger kids whooped and laughed. I did it purely because I didn't want her to think that I was keeping our relationship secret. I didn't care who knew I was seeing her, though I had no way of knowing at the time that this act would see me suspended from school in the lunch break."Morning,” I grinned at my mate Steve."What the fuck was that,” He asked. "You and Rebecca Lewis?""And why the fuck not,” I said, still grinning."What-the-fuckever, dude,” Steve shrugged. "Didn't think she was your type.""What is my type?""Dunno, just thought you went for more skinny girls than her. Girls more like your size. You usually do when we're out.""And where exactly has that gotten me in the last, oh, three years?""Hey, I'm not judging, man. If that's how it is then you go for it and don't listen to what anybody else says,” Steve went defensive.Mark, another friend, leaned across the aisle and said with a wink; "Ignore him, he's just jealous. As he should be. He hasn't snogged a girl since his great aunt Mildred on his twelfth birthday.""Fuck you,” Steve gave him the finger as the rest of us laughed.The incident that triggered the suspension happened in lunch break when another sixth former caught up with me while I was sat in the dining hall by myself minding my own business with a paperback. I knew the guy, he was lower sixth, fresh in, and a bit of an asshole. Bigger than me, as were most people near my age, and uglier. Which is saying something, believe me."Becky Lewis,” He asked."No, my name's Chris,” I deadpanned. "And it's none of your business.”"No need to be a twat. I'm doing you a favor.""Oh?""She's used. Been fucked before. I've had her,” He said, leaning in closer. "Just thought you should know.""So? What makes you think I give a shit,” I stood up, fists clenching at my sides. People were watching now, heads turned by the beginnings of a commotion. "It's still none of your fucking business, so piss off. Who's being the twat now? Just because you say you had her first you have to show off to everybody who she goes out with in the future? What a fucking loser you are. What did she do, dump you because you were crap between the sheets and now you're carrying a grudge? Grow the fuck up, you pathetic jackass,” I didn't realise my voice was getting louder, but I saw the punch coming a mile away when his right shoulder bulged. I stepped inside and head butted him full in the face. Fuck it hurt. But he was on the floor with blood streaming down his face from his nose while a chorus of 'Oh's sounded throughout the hall."Don't bother getting up,” I spat at him as I walked away. "I'll just put you back down again. Count yourself lucky I don't fucking piss on you."Needless to say I was in the head teacher's office before lessons began and my mother was picking me up in the car before two. "Don't worry about it,” she said after I'd explained everything. They won't keep you out for long. They know you are an easy four A-levels for their league table. You'll be back in on Monday,” And that was it. I expected a huge bawling out over ruining my chances of going to university, but all my father did was laugh himself silly at the big purple and yellow bruise growing on my forehead and making me look like one of Star Trek's Klingons.At eight I turned up on Rebecca's doorstep and she was furious."So what the hell happened in school today?""That jerk was dissing you, so I put him on the floor. No big deal,” I shrugged as I stood out in the drizzle. "Are you going to let me in or are we going out?""You got suspended over me? Jesus, you're even dumber than I thought you were,” She shook her head. "Get inside before I change my mind."She closed the door behind me and led me into the lounge. "So what the hell happened between you and Clive?""Clive? That's his name? He just came up to me and started bragging that he'd slept with you. Then when I gave him a bit of verbal back he took a swing at me, missed, and I Glasgow-kissed him on the nose with my head. No big deal.""It is a fucking big deal when you get yourself suspended. Jesus. Why the fuck didn't you just ignore him?""He didn't look like he wanted to be ignored. Honestly, I think he still fancies you and was trying to put me off by talking shit about you.""And?""Well, I'm here aren't I?"She shook her head in disbelief. "He never slept with me,” She explained, slumping down on the sofa. I sat opposite her in an armchair. "We just fucked once, that's all."That was a bit of a hammer to the balls, I must admit. Obviously you can't go through life thinking every girl you meet is going to be a virgin when she falls into your arms, but I had always thought that my first time would at least be with another virgin. "Look,” she carried on. "I hope you don't think that I've been mummy's little angel all my life, because I haven't. A couple of years ago I ended up getting mixed up in the wrong crowd with a friend who dragged me along because I had money for booze. We did a little drinking, got a little crazy, one thing led to another and before I knew it was all over and I was walking home crying all alone. It wasn't how I wanted my first time to be, it wasn't how any girl would want her first time to be, but sometimes shit happens.""There's no need to explain. It's not important.""Yes it is,” she interrupted."Not to me.""Well, it is to me. Look, I don't know how long we're going to last. We might not even make it through the next hour, but I don't want there to be any secrets, so that if some shithead like Clive starts telling tales you'll at least know the truth from the bull, ok?""Fair enough,” I accepted, and leaned forward to listen to her."About two years ago, after I'd moved up from lower band to upper band, I was losing all my friends and had no new ones to replace them. Nobody wanted to know me because all the clever girls assumed I was still thick. It's why I've put on weight - I stopped going out altogether and spent almost all my time studying and playing games on the web,” I almost asked her what sort of games, but didn't think that this was the right time for that. "I got lazy, and comfort ate. I'm working my way out of it, but it's not easy. There was one girl that I used to bother with when I visited my grandmother, and while my gran was looking after me overnight when my parents went away for the weekend I went to a small house party with this girl and some of her friends. There were about a dozen of us - five girls, seven or eight boys, and there was booze. Some of us got tipsy, some of us got drunk. Then my friend said it was time to play dice and would I play. When I asked her how to play, she told me."Each of us took a number - one to six for boys, and one to six for girls. Then there was a list of 'tasks' for the third roll of the dice. The first roll and second roll paired a girl up with a boy, and the third was for what they then did with each other. I said no at first, but when they started playing I ended up watching and after a while the drink sort of took over and I offered to be number five for the girls. The tasks weren't all that big a deal, except for the six. Handjobs, fingerfucks, blowjobs, all that kind of stuff. I gotta admit that I got pretty turned on watching these impromptu couples making out. Anyway, the dice rolled and sooner or later my number came up. Then the dice rolled again and Clive's number came up. And the bastard groaned. I always hated him for that, and that was when I weighed more than a stone less than I do now. On the third roll came the six, and that's when they all started chanting 'fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!'"Like I said, I was pretty blasted, and before I knew it I ended up on the floor with my skirt pulled up over my waist and Clive just did me. It's still all a blur in my mind. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't raped and I don't have nightmares about it. I went into that dice game with eyes wide open and fully aware of what the risks were and what might happen, but that's the first and the last time that I've done anything with a guy until you kissed me on Monday. The first time was painful, was over in thirty seconds, and I'm not making that up, and afterward I just got up and walked out, ashamed of myself. I haven't spoken to any of them since. It was one of the most hateful, disappointing ways to lose your virginity that you could possibly imagine, but what's done is done. You're the first person I've told and I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread it around, okay?" "I wouldn't do that. And I'm sorry. If I'd known the truth I'd have just laughed at the little prick instead of flattening him. He was trying to make himself out as some kind of stud,” Rebecca showed me a curled little finger that signified what she thought of Clive's manhood, and we both burst out laughing, Rebecca somewhat nervously with a moist look in her eyes."Look, I'm not going to lie to you,” I told her. "I don't know how long we're going to last, either but I do find you very attractive. The more I look at you the more I see that I find irresistibly alluring. I admit I'm a virgin. I had a chance to lose it when I was fifteen, but there's no point going there because that's just water under the bridge, a missed opportunity more than anything else, and I'm not looking to lose it any time soon, either. I'm just here to have fun, with you, doing whatever you want to do, and if we get physical further on down the line then so much the better. I'm not going to turn it down. Relax around me. I'm the no pressure cool dude. Ask anyone, okay?"She nodded. "Right then,” I said, changing the subject. "So what are we watching?"It was a Harry Potter film, and by the time it was halfway through I was sat on the sofa while she lay on me with her head on my lap, her feet dangling over the edge of the sofa. I played with her hair, caressed her ear with my fingers, but most of the time I wasn't watching the film - I'd seen the Prisoner of Azkaban before, and just watched her cleavage moving up and down as she breathed. I knew she was dieting, but I hoped she ended up keeping most of the flesh that I was struggling to keep my hands off. They were big and round and I'm sure she knew that I could barely take my eyes off them moving when she breathed. When the credits rolled she turned her head in my lap and gazed up into my eyes.I bent over and kissed her on the lips, feeling her melt into me as her arms folded around my neck. She was impatient, pushing her tongue into my mouth before I'd fully parted my lips. I put my right hand on her belly as she squirmed into a more comfortable position on my lap, and my fingertips were just a few inches up from sliding between her parted legs, where I had watched her own hand work just the night before, then she twisted off my lap and got to her feet. I looked up at her as she stood over me, then she hitched her black dress up to her knees and straddled me, her knees sliding down my flanks, her hot crotch pressing down against my hardening cock, just the thickness of her panties, my jeans and a pair of boxers separating our sex organs. Her head dipped to mine and we sucked on each other's tongues again, and I could feel the twin mounds of her breasts pressing down on me.I was unbelievably uncomfortable, my cock hard as a rock, trapped inside my jeans, crushed beneath her insistently pressing weight. "You have no idea what you are doing to me,” I breathed when we broke apart for air."I can feel it. Don't be shy,” She whispered in my ear as she nipped at it with her teeth. I wasn't sure what she meant, but I took a chance and slipped my hands inside her blouse, running my fingers up and down the bare skin of her back, from the base of her spine to the taut band of her bra strap. She moaned into my ear as my fingers glided softly over her spine, then her breath froze when I located the clasp and began to work at it inexpertly. The moment I managed to release the plastic clasp she began to gyrate her crotch against my bulging erection, and as the bra went slack and my hands skated along her flanks to the underside of her heavy tits she slid her tongue wetly inside my ear.I cupped her breasts in my hands, thumbs caressing the bullet like nipples in precisely the manner that I had watched her do it, and her lips and tongue quickly found mine and we hungrily began kissing while I fondled her tits. "Oh God, that feels so nice,” She breathed when we broke for air, and I felt the uncontrollable urge to take them in my mouth. I eased her blouse up over her tits and used my hands to guide one of them up to my lips. She gasped as I closed my mouth over the hard bud and began to suck, my other hand still thumbing over the nipple of her other breast. "Oh fuck,” She moaned, biting her lip as she leaned back, giving me more room to work. I switched breasts, biting down on the other nipple now and tweaking the soaking wet one that I had just been nibbling on with my thumb and forefinger. Her hands closed around my head, pulling me harder onto her tits, making me swallow more of her teats, my tongue circling around the nipple as I jammed more and more flesh into my mouth. I pulled away for breath and her face covered mine, her tongue doing the work in my mouth as my hands pushed her breasts together, the nipples nearly touching each other as I kneaded them.

DecaDeuce 14!? Where have you been? We started this episode back in 2023, which is also when the last DecaDeuce dropped! What we're saying is, we know you've been hungry for it and here it is, ready to feed you at the most gluttonous time of year! Happy Thanksgiving! Let's intro it and get on with this damn thing! We couldn't record a new episode! But don't worry, we still have a new episode! It's a DecaDeuce! DecaDeuce volume 14! The deep fans know, but Stan Lee always said every issue is somebody's first issue, so here it is! Ten all-new mini 2 minute & 20 second episodes (they run long, some as long as 10 minutes, don't ask why, we don't know) recorded over time and then plastered together into one big, brand-new but pre-recorded, regular-sized episode! Actually, it's a bit longer (more Deuce for the money = big value!): 76 artery clogging minutes! Over an hour of Deuce! Sometimes there're variable levels of sound quality, too, because people record and microphones laugh. Still, you're gonna love the way you look listening to these babies, cause you're the best-looking listeners in podcastdom! Rogan wishes his listeners looked like you! We've got guests, too! One guest anyway: Mel Novak! Here's the Contents: 1)      State of the Sad Lunch Union, or Fuckin' the Devil! (9/23/23) 2)      Shittiest Jobs in Lawrence, or Will's Silk Shirt Era (w/ Mel Novak) (11/5/23) 3)      Will's Mo Satellite Radio Mo Problems, or I Have My Doubts, Scrooge (1/12/24) 4)      Daisy's Nazi Dick at the Dog Park Debacle, or Big Sweetie (2/23/24) 5)      What's Your Favorite D&D Character?, or Here's My Card (2/23/24) 6)      Will's fantasy basketball tips, or Will's Mom has done zero genocides (10/26/24) 7)      Fear the Ribbler, or Mayor McCheese Loved Him Some Hookers (10/26/24) 8)      Will & Ollie still been Child's Playin', or Nelson Takes a Stand! (11/2/24) 9)      AC Slater-ing a German Toilet, or The Poop is Thwackin' the Nuts! (11/10/24) 10)   Thanksgiving Time: An Ode to Stuffing, or Briney Balls vs Scalded Balls (11/17/24)   Back with a regular Double Deuce episode next week! See us live! Live holiday show, 12/20, 7pm drinks, 7:30pm show, at Blade and Timber in downtown LFK! See a show, get a Christmas gift from Will's garage! Contact Us! Follow Us! Love Us! Email: doubledeucepod@gmail.com Twitter & Instagram: @doubledeucepod Facebook: www.facebook.com/DoubleDeucePod/ Patreon: patreon.com/DoubleDeucePod Also, please subscribe/rate/review/share us! We're on Apple, Android, Libsyn, Stitcher, Google, Spotify, Amazon, Radio.com, RadioPublic, pretty much anywhere they got podcasts, you can find the Deuce! Podcast logo art by Jason Keezer! Find his art online at Keezograms! Intro & Outro featuring Rob Schulte! Check out his many podcasts! Brought to you in part by sponsorship from Courtney Shipley, Official Superfans Stefan Rider and Amber Fraley, and listeners like you! Join a tier on our Patreon! Advertise with us! If you want that good, all-natural focus and energy, our DOUBLEDEUCE20 code still works at www.magicmind.com/doubledeuce for 20% off all purchases and subscriptions. Check out the Lawrence Times's 785 Collective at https://lawrencekstimes.com/785collective/ for a list of local LFK podcasts including this one!  

brianturnershow.com, eastvillageradio.com/the-brian-turner-show/BILL ORCUTT / ETHAN MILLER / STEVE SHELLEY - Untitled 1 - The Fucked Up Trio (cs, NL, 2024)JAMIE BRANCH - Take Over the World - Take Over the World (International Anthem, 2023)INDUSTRIAL SPONGE - Waste - Industrial Sponge (Concentric Circles, 2024)THE BILL JONES SHOW - Jad Fair Shook My Hand - Sing Along With The Bill Jones Show (cs, GGE, 1989)7FO -  ( 時雨 ) - Sound of Oilhuman (Kikuya Books, 2016)PERSONS - Hair - Persons Attack the Scene (Blackbean and Placenta Tape Club, 2001)NO THANKS - Poseur - Are Your Ready To Die (Dead Space, 1983)FUCKIN' FLYIN' A-HEADS - Swiss Cheese Back - 7" (Otaro, 1980)THE MODDS - Leave My House - 7" (American National, 1966)RONNIE & NATALIE w/STUMPWATER - Six Times - 7" (1972, re: Supreme Echo, 2016)THE RANGE RATS - Go My Way - split 7" w/Michael Hurley (Mississippi, 2024)KEY AND CLEARY - Young People - Love Is the Way (Now Again, 2018)AL.DIVINO - Osama Tekuza (BC, 2024)ORANSSI PAZUSU -  Muuntautuja -  Muuntautuja (Nuclear Blast, 2024)MAGIC NOUSIANEN & WONDERFUL LEHTISALO - Harvest - Cafetic Atom (Ektro, 2024)HELEN GILLET - Tonnerre - 7" (Yes We Cannibal, 2022)EVOL - House of Lemur Mix - V/A Dunwich Recursed (Flatlines, 2024)BT VS. TOM SMITH - Teflon Dub Megamix (NL, 2021)THE MISSING BRAZILIANS - Gentle Killers - Warzone (On-U Sound, 1984)PASCAL GAIGNE - Canto Spiralle - Iguzki Hauskara (1984, re: Hegoa, 2024)JIM SHEPARD - Quotients and Numbers - Picking Through the Wreckage With a Stick (1995, re: Zaius Tapes, 2024)THE FALL - Cab It Up (Peel Session 10/31/88) - Beggars Arkive Vol. 1 (Beggars Banquet, 2024)NOCTURNAL PROJECTIONS - Another Year - Complete Studio Recordings (Dais, 2018)ÁLVARO PÉREZ & ÁLVARO DOMENE - Turning Us Against Ourselves - Zodos 4 (Iluso, 2024)ORTHO-TONICS - Barking Under a Banner - Accessible As Gravity (cs, Calypso Now, 1983)DON CHERRY & OKAY TEMIZ - Istanbul - Music For Turkish Theater (1970, re: Cazplak, 2024)

Subscriber-only episode Paul's back in Santa Barbara for Thanksgiving so the boys hop in the Golf to talk about wanting to lock in, Bluesky, college mistakes, football, high school relationship breakups, road rage, and whether or not Paul's a good person.  Intro Song: "Smoke 2 Joints" by Sublime.  Outro Song: "squabble up" by Kendrick Lamar.

It's official

Just me being weird, as usual. Enjoy!

Welcome to the Circle of the World Podcast! Join Harrison, George, and Jeffrey as we continue our coverage of Joe Abercrombie's First Law series! For this season, we begin our coverage of The Heroes! This week we cover : New Hands, Reachy, & The Right Thing.Meme of the week:https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheMemeMaker/comments/1g4b31w/make_union_great_again/Music Credit: Maszy MusicLeave us a commentSupport the show

Czas na EKSPANSJĘ w Twoim biznesie i życiu! ❤️‍

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Episode 638: Two hours of Tic, Tac, Toe talk! JKLOL! We try to figure out the youth lingo like hag-maxing, gooner, pie-maxing, bussin', skibidi, salad-maxing, etc. Andrew was right to hate Pittsburgh's cliche' tourist restaurant, Primanti Brothers. Rap jacking. Song remix debate.

The guys get together to preview this weekend's home match against Real Salt Lake. They also discuss Coach Wolff's midweek press availability before closing out the episode with Last Business Day. 0:45 - Intro 4:00 - Coach Wolff's midweek press conference 16:30 - Real Salt Lake preview 35:45 - Last Business Day Visit our website for match preview articles, weekly MLS picks and access to our salary cap and roster spreadsheets! Follow the podcast on socials Twitter Instagram YouTube Threads Bluesky

These terrorists are mad desperate; A demon is a demon— But a weak, feeble-minded brainwashed terrorist is another thing: just that. [domestic terrorism and acts of sociopolitical psychological tactical practices by and against American citizens.] The only satisfaction in knowing how right I was, became choosing not to directly address them anymore as they were— ignorant, insolent babies throwing temper tantrums— It seemed altogether in the same system were the motorcyclists and the door slammers, as if some sort of strategy against free thought and the right to truth. The actual truth of the matter was, that I was also in them—whether or not they had the conscience to know. Be mad; I am. Maybe now in coming times you will understand How cruel it feels to be hated, For just existing. Fragility Something ‘about' me bothers you so deeply— And you ‘don't know' what; But I'll tell you what it is… Later. For now, I'll just enjoy soaking in your rage — How wrong you feel I am For being right. And how right I am— That this is wrong. {Enter The Multiverse} “Billie's Bong” The poor Billie Ellish has a neon bong. Woah! You have a bong! Yeah. That's sick. Do you not—smoke? No. Wait. Do you not—like, sing? Nah, yeah— I'm in like, a band, but— But what about your vocals? We play punk! Nice. [A CHARACTER walks in, and is astounded to see the two practically identical Billies.] Who though? Doesn't matter. I don't get it. Which one is which? They both shrug. The poor Billie Ellish and the regular Billie Ellish have almost everything in common besides money— being that, “broke Billie” comes from a stereotypically dysfunctional family, and a broken home, and has lived a majority of her life in poverty—besides of course—Finneas at least having once served as the lead guitarist of her band, before dropping off. Wait, what did happen to your Finneas? Ah, My Finneas? Forget about it. That dude is a skag. My breath is shallow, My heart is lonely. The poster shadow Of many moons forshadoed. Again, I lie awake, screaming, Not calling I'm screening your calls You want ice cream with that, Or what. (Or what) Probably or what, though In a nutshell, I don't want you I thought your hollow bones Could swallow us whole To another, Long, long gone Summer. Sure, the show goes on —but it won't without you. For sure, The show goes on— But it won't without you Turn the phone on, Turn it over At the airport, Watching Conan Oh yeah, A honey blonde, Shucks. Honeysuckle wants only To become Sweet, ripe salmon berry (Don't you want to) At the airport, Watching conan Overhead, I Overheard a phone call “What the fuck did you just say?” It's been 3 days; She went missing at MIA No connection to jfk No connection at all Munroe, you blind bastard All the water All the drugs All in the wash It's water under the toenails (Four fingers up, But the fourth one lost it) At the airport Watching Conan I over heard you Turn the phone off Semi-sync or something, Semi dysfunction Chemists hemispheres All his fears are In my head I stand at the front at the edge of the the platform so there's just less temptation to jump (White Nikes is for chumps) Everybody is a goddamn DJ these days Especially on her bday When she asks for a replay of that remix Bitch please I sit alone bc with my phone and my notebook. By the end of a river A cold brook Wrote a whole mother novel A classy story For the world gone wrong You fucking Morin Fungi up I get more fond l I stand in the train with my back against the wall So the shadow markers won't stand behind And grab me Fuck man, fuck off There's a lot of blue here Must be something to do here I need new gear Stuck inside of my l life Since new years Whose here? WHAT THE FUCK MORGIE? SUNNI! MORE HEINIKEN!!!! You CANNOT. Drink with that ankle monitor on. I know. So why are you drinking?! I took the ankle monitor off. Nogga yo feet is small. Like smaller than mine. EY. I been staring at your gut this whole train ride. How the fuck are you like a 5X And your feet are a ladies size 6? The fuck. You need some help, bro. I ain't been to the gym in two days But you got fairy feet My nigga. My hip bones apes against the railing; I've three children, but you'd not know It; I'm holding in cereal, cleaning out stuff for cereal boxes , Audio level Aux chords polished Shined as silver, Hair as Golden, Still no meadows, My eyes rest in My, I'm tired. Please don't mind me, Bright blue jumper Still no meadow I lay down in Still no meadow Hair as golden Old blue boxers Boxes Please don't mind me Oh, you started it Oh, you started it No motion sensors Already alcoholic, Still halls And still water Oh, You started it Oh. You started it Sure, don't fall out of Heroin antics, Sure, don't fall forward, Only to fall out Oh. You started it Damn! Why the devil always gotta stand behind a motherfucker, huh? Fuckin creepo. Haven't you decided yet that you are the devil. I am one and all And all things, I am Still in my mind I am, Never behind, But always ahead Always right, and not wit wars I stand in line for the stairs The slower the better the more I write I'm on fast God Fasting time I'm on fully automatic The faster we go The harder the heroin The longer we stop for The harder we party Off bandwagon There I go— (Are I now) There you are? Fully automotive Fully automatic Fully on the wrong road. It metr's hoping No more tears for lost stardom No more neon signs No halter tops Shit, I work harder in hell When I don't have my phone off Shit, I work harder in hell When I take all my clothes off. I couldn't even pretend to give two fucks right now I'm chained to a train With another one headed right towards me. I don't mind what's the line your on Whose line is it anyway, good line at the equinox Step over me Hoarder I'll say, Here for all time; Wherefor art though Simple and stuck In my own ways All day I sat in haides No semtember Sick morons Long, long October Still started No water Two dogs And a blonde No show starter. But There goes all that All the next understudies And sure profiles, Fair weather friends again —creepy ass inanimate muppets. Fuck, man. Somebody stick their fuckin hand up Elm/ ass before I punch him. Don't punch Elmo. Who doesn't love Elmo. I do not, What did you say your name was? I didn't. What did you say is your expertise? Rhythms. Mister mister l NOOOOOOOO. Some black dude rubbed his whole dick against my wrist on the subway train. gnarly. It was warm. And weird— Like a fucking Sleeping cat Under Egyptian cotton AGHHHHHHJ. AOh no. I THOUGHT MY HAND WENT PARALYZED. It just siezed up, real crunchy, like— *chicken foot arm* I automatically had like the whole thing going on. The worst part was that it was warm— And soft// But HUGE. I was like What ANIMAL is that. I will never. I could NEVER I said. what. I just got to the point in my life where I realized I wasn't interested in anything. !but especially I'm looking for Sage to burn I goy money go burn I got time to earn mi got money to chase Ain't got money to waste You've got to admit x It's a good savings system —for once, the sauce sounded like symphonies And wreaked of green peppers, or rather, was fragrant CHECKPOINT! I remember this part! I remember this place This time This dance This song, Then— everyone does And everything does, doesn't it? Show ants the advocate The advocate of another time I think I ran here on What if everything cheaper online But it's just the adventure you wished for Have you ever tried to be mad With squeaky ass shoes on Seriously Have you ever tied to like walk away Or stop away mad With squeaky ass shoes? Is that the pub? I guess. You guess! Is this the right pub or is it not? I don't know which pub is the right pub! He just said “Irish pub” you could throw a rock and hit one! Sometimes it's best, To just not give A single fuck at all At all at all A single fuck at all. I don't give a flipping song! Woah now i don't give a flap or a stick! Alright, alright. Leave me alone to die I'll melt inside the world A coin upon a string Run, girl, run Of course, of course It lives again It'll come again When the Sunnis down. I can't wait till the sundown I can't wait till the world is kind And the girls are gone And the birds all hush And the dogs don't bark And the sun downt come Till I'm long long gone and out of it I'm over her, no more war and art over sodom And stardom as startuduat Like I said, you started it I always did I didn't want I only done To suffer Suffer more Will you rot you blossom corpse The art is done The art is done! The water's hot No wonder white people fucking hate us. I saw a black dude on the train. Today with his dick in his pocket. NO, GOD. WHY! And he was holding it, too. I'm like “What for?!” Jesus Christ's. It was in his pocket. Outlined and everything, With his fucking grip around it Like it was a fucking animal. No! No! Man some people are so fuckin wrong I hate pda. I fuckin hate it. The Real versions come across a parallel reality's version of themselves—who by some chance, also happened to cross paths with each other—however—this band of miscreants are HOOLIGANS—unruly lawbreakers who cause chaos, confusion, and trouble to the good people of Where the fuck is this. —wherever they are. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

My breath is shallow, My heart is lonely. The poster shadow Of many moons forshadoed. Again, I lie awake, screaming, Not calling I'm screening your calls You want ice cream with that, Or what. (Or what) Probably or what, though In a nutshell, I don't want you I thought your hollow bones Could swallow us whole To another, Long, long gone Summer. Sure, the show goes on —but it won't without you. For sure, The show goes on— But it won't without you Turn the phone on, Turn it over At the airport, Watching Conan Oh yeah, A honey blonde, Shucks. Honeysuckle wants only To become Sweet, ripe salmon berry (Don't you want to) At the airport, Watching conan Overhead, I Overheard a phone call “What the fuck did you just say?” It's been 3 days; She went missing at MIA No connection to jfk No connection at all Munroe, you blind bastard All the water All the drugs All in the wash It's water under the toenails (Four fingers up, But the fourth one lost it) At the airport Watching Conan I over heard you Turn the phone off Semi-sync or something, Semi dysfunction Chemists hemispheres All his fears are In my head I stand at the front at the edge of the the platform so there's just less temptation to jump (White Nikes is for chumps) Everybody is a goddamn DJ these days Especially on her bday When she asks for a replay of that remix Bitch please I sit alone bc with my phone and my notebook. By the end of a river A cold brook Wrote a whole mother novel A classy story For the world gone wrong You fucking Morin Fungi up I get more fond l I stand in the train with my back against the wall So the shadow markers won't stand behind And grab me Fuck man, fuck off There's a lot of blue here Must be something to do here I need new gear Stuck inside of my l life Since new years Whose here? WHAT THE FUCK MORGIE? SUNNI! MORE HEINIKEN!!!! You CANNOT. Drink with that ankle monitor on. I know. So why are you drinking?! I took the ankle monitor off. Nogga yo feet is small. Like smaller than mine. I been staring at your gut this whole train ride. How the fuck are you like a 5x And your feet are a ladies size 6? The fuck. You need some help, bro. I ain't been to the gym in two days But you got fairy feet My nigga My hip bone s apes against the railing; I've three children, but you'd not know I; I'm holding in cereal, cleaning out stuff for cereal boxes m, Audio level Aux chords polished Shined as silver, Hair as Golden, Still no meadows, My eyes rest in My, I'm tired. Please don't mind me, Bright blue jumper Still no meadow I lay down in Still no meadow Hair as golden Old blue boxers Boxes Please don't mind me Oh, you started it Oh, you started it No motion sensors Already alcoholic, Still halls And still water Oh, You started it Oh. You started it Sure, don't fall out of Heroin antics, Sure, don't fall forward, Only to fall out Oh. You started it Damn! Why the devil always gotta stand behind a motherfucker, huh? Fuckin creepo. Haven't you decided yet that you are the devil. I am one and all And all things, I am Still in my mind I am, Never behind, But always ahead Always right, and not wit wars I stand in line for the stairs The slower the better the more I write Imm on fast God Fasting time I'm on fully automatic The faster we go The harder the heroin The longer we stop for The harder we party Off bandwagon There I go— (Are I now) There you are? Fully automotive Fully automatic Fully on the wrong road. It matters hoping No more tears for lost stardom No more neon signs No halter tops Shit, I work harder in hell When I don't have my phone off Shit, I work harder in hell When I take all my clothes off. I couldn't even pretend to give two fucks right now I'm chained to a train With another one headed right towards me. I don't mind what's the line your on Whose line is it anyway, good line at the equinox Step over me Hoarder I'll say, Here for all time; Wherefor art though Simple and stuck In my own ways All day I sat in haides No semtember Sick morons Long, long October Still started No water Two dogs And a blonde No show starter. But There goes all that All the next understudies And sure profiles, Fair weather friends again —creepy ass inanimate muppets. Fuck, man. Somebody stick their fuckin hand up Elmo's ass before I punch him. Don't punch Elmo. Who doesn't love Elmo. I do not. What did you say your name was? I didn't. What did you say is your expertise? Rhythms. Mister mister l NOOOOOOOO. Some black dude rubbed his whole dick against my wrist on the subway train. gnarly. It was warm. And weird— Like a fucking Sleeping cat Under Egyptian cotton AGHHHHHHJ. AOh no. I THOUGHT MY HAND WENT PARALYZED. It just siezed up, real crunchy, like— *chicken foot arm* I automatically had like the whole thing going on. The worst part was that it was warm— And soft// But HUGE. I was like What ANIMAL is that. I will never. I could NEVER I said. what. I just got to the point in my life where I realized I wasn't interested in anything. !but especially I'm looking for Sage to burn I goy money go burn I got time to earn mi got money to chase Ain't got money to waste You've got to admit x It's a good savings system —for once, the sauce sounded like symphonies And wreaked of green peppers, or rather, was fragrant CHECKPOINT! I remember this part! I remember this place This time This dance This song, Then— everyone does And everything does, doesn't it? Show ants the advocate The advocate of another time I think I ran here on What if everything cheaper online But it's just the adventure you wished for Have you ever tried to be mad With squeaky ass shoes on Seriously Have you ever tied to like walk away Or stop away mad With squeaky ass shoes? Is that the pub? I guess. You guess! Is this the right pub or is it not? I don't know which pub is the right pub! He just said “Irish pub” you could throw a rock and hit one! Sometimes it's best, To just not give A single fuck at all At all at all A single fuck at all. I don't give a flipping song! Woah now i don't give a flap or a stick! Alright, alright. Leave me alone to die I'll melt inside the world A coin upon a string Run, girl, run Of course, of course It lives again It'll come again When the Sunnis down. I can't wait till the sundown I can't wait till the world is kind And the girls are gone And the birds all hush And the dogs don't bark And the sun downt come Till I'm long long gone and out of it I'm over her, no more war and art over sodom And stardom as startuduat Like I said, you started it I always did I didn't want I only done To suffer Suffer more Will you rot you blossom corpse The art is done The art is done! The water's hot No wonder white people fucking hate us. I saw a black dude on the train. Today with his dick in his pocket. NO, GOD. WHY! And he was holding it, too. I'm like “What for?!” Jesus Christ's. It was in his pocket. Outlined and everything, With his fucking grip around it Like it was a fucking animal. No! No! Man some people are so fuckin wrong I hate pda. I fuckin hate it. The Real versions come across a parallel reality's version of themselves—who by some chance, also happened to cross paths with each other—however—this band of miscreants are HOOLIGANS—unruly lawbreakers who cause chaos, confusion, and trouble to the good people of Where the fuck is this. —wherever they are. Don't come round here! I will fuck your socks off— and sell them back to you! The sex was free; But the socks will cost you. But—they're my socks. Were and could be again…for a price. Goddamn. Yes, Goddamn indeed. BROH. JOHN OLIVER IS MAD BRITISH. AVADAKAVARAH! I TOLD YOU, I WAS A WITCH DOCTOR! WHATEVER! I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LATE NIGHT HOST! EVERYBODY HAS A DAY JOB. THAT'S A NIGHT JOB! EXPECTO-PA– POTTER!!! WHAT IN THE [BEEP}! YOU'RE A WIZARD?! OF COURSE I'M A BLOODY WIZARD–WHAT THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU?! ANOTHER LATE NIGHT HOST–OR WHATEVER! “OR WHATEVER” I'M A WIZARD– HARRY. What the [bleep] EVERYBODY HAS A DAY JOB ™ Please, by all means, Keep your pretty white girlfriend. I want to see those eyes come through What a handsome couple. They are the scariest thing ever. Let them be, then; Out to be fun to watch. I can't listen to Drake on my loud speakers bro. Not—like loud, man. That shit makes me feel like a whole ass basic black girl. True story. Sometimes you gotta distance yourself from the “yassss” birds. I saw this one comedian performing— Well, I think he was a comedian. He wasn't funny to me but, He had like 710K followers And he was really really pretty. I had to notice that, because as imm listening to him preform, about 30 minutes into the video— I was waiting to see if he would make me actually laugh— He didn't— But— As I was trying to figure out how he has 710K followers And has not made me laugh, not once I start paying closer attention to him— And I realize; “Oh” He is major good looking. At first I didn't notice— I like white guys— so, Of course, At first glance I'm like “Hey brother!” You know, like “That's my son!” I'm like “Yeah, make me laugh, boy.” But he didn't And then as I start to wonder Like, Why or how he has so large of a following I notice he's very beautiful. And I mean, like mad gorgeous. Like ideally— I'm like “Oh” and as I'm realizing this, He's saying the punchline to a “joke,” And as he's saying it, I realize that way in the back, Like you can hear that they're in the back Cause the camera is in the center, And like half of the audience is behind the film crew , and you can hear these girls are in the way— Like in the way back Like in the way, way back, You can hear like a pack of ratchets— Yes— these must be his die hards— His squad. Not like his homies or anything, but like The Groupies. You know. The hopefuls. He's got this group of black girls like hackling in the back, like clapping hard at all his punches like “YAS!” “SAY IT!” And it was funny because his reaction to these girls was like “I'm—not in control of this.” “RIGHT!” “SAY LESS!” I'm like, Oh, I see how that works, now. {Enter The Multiverse} And even I Just want it to fucking stop So it can just be over with Oh why, Not another fucking lover boy After all of them Oh no— But this one's worse; Maybe even the worst of all of them Because as I exit my prison cell, I find this dude behind bars— Maybe even happily. And now I'm out into the world Supposedly free— But still trapped with this mentality As if whatever I had before— Maybe even possibly the worst, lowest existence At least for me, Was somehow Better —can anyone tell me why? Not even God, besides the obvious point that perhaps The Devil is in the mind; He likes to arouse, To play games, And tricks And I, Myself Perhaps Have fallen prey, Not to become victim to this; But a player in the game. A pawn. AND WHY HAS NOBODY DRAWN ON THESE YET, THEY'VE BEEN UP FOR SEEMINGLY forever and always And this nigga has Not one snaggletooth No graffiti tettoos No fucking sharpie lip injections. Nothing. Do you remember that story how Johnny Depp hated his face up on a billboard— So he went rogue and painted over it? Yeah? So? What if it's like that. I don't think it's like that. —I think it's the opposite of that, actually. And if anything— If I see not a one defacing of these posters And they are everywhere If anything, Jimmy Fallon is the guy With a spray bottle of acetone And a fucking microfiber rag Wiping that shit off In his free time WHAT FREE TIME? You tell me. But first— Somebody— Anybody tell me Why this happened. At all. Anybody? Somebody. C'mon. {Enter The Multiverse} If you'll excuse me, I actually have to get going. Where are you going? I don't know: I just— JOHNNY DEPP must be going. Have to. he does not know, however, that he is stuck in a movie—which has no definitive ending. Well actually, This movie has like— 30 alternative endings Wait, 30 alternative endings? 30-40 Woah. That's nuts. Which makes it even cooler. If you ever blow my mind again like that, I'll actually kill you. I've been watching a lot of LMN Lifetime movie network—Why?! Because this shit is hilarious! Isn't it! YO. This shit is PIZZA It IS. What? Why is it pizza? Cause it's not pizza If it's not CHEEZY. ahaha. While traditional Thai pineapple fried rice has tomatoes within the vegetable medley, I opted instead for this recipe to use a sauced red pepper tomato sauce glaze to top the dish, for a new school American twist and flare. ½ cup chopped mushrooms ½ cup scallions ¼ cup white onion ½ cup red onion ¼ cup Pasilla pepper ½ cup red pepper cup white onions ½ cup yellow pepper ¾ cup green pepper 1 cup fresh basil 1 cup fresh pineapple UmBRIDGE. What. NO, Um— A bridge appears out of nowhere. lol why do you have no hair? I dunno; mate. Wizards. Don't go there— You're fired. I beg your pardon Please, don't beg. You are officially decommissioned as headmaster! This is the minister of magic Is that what it was. I guess, I don't know; I'm just along for the STEWIE. WHAT MA, WHAT. TEN AND TWO!! You know what, let me drive. Oh, finally—stewie has his own aplorable Boston accent, (hybrid proper English, of course. ) What does that even sound like Strange. The lady working at Trader Joe's was so beautiful to me, I had to tell her. I loved her Locs, I loved her glasses I loved her accent. So I just had to ask where she's from— I do that sometimes. If I really love someone's accent, I have to ask where their from to try to get there one day; So I asked her, “Where are you from?” And she says “Haiti,” And I was like “Wow, cool” And then I thought about it for a second, And I asked “Do you ever miss home” And she just laughed I was like “Oh, guess not” Some context I had been homesick lately, But I grew up in Alaska And I consider myself from California, Having spent most of my adult life there So coming to New York has been like Living on the other side of the world; And sometimes that sucks. But sometimes, and I have realized that wherever you're from, To get to New York is sometimes a blessing. She didn't even say yes or no, She just laughed. Now I'm worried about Haiti. I was worried about it before; But now I'm like; “Do you miss home?” She's like “Hahaha” I'm like “Oh damn.” I count my blessings. So JOHNNY DEPP just like excuses himself, wanders out into the street, and then—? Yeah. And then what? I don't know yet, I'm kind of busy these days. “BUSY?!” BUSY DOING WHAT?! Beep boop. Eee—ooh. Beep—boop—boop. Yah-yah-yah— APPLESAURCE APPLESAURCE APPLESAURCE I'll show you all my scars, huh This one, she look like the reaper That's my girl, You bet she a keeper Ya'll sleepin on us What Yeah What Yeah What You sleeping on us I been in this b'niss APPLESAURCE APPLESAURCE APPLESAURCE I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE. I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE. I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE I LIKE BALLS IN MY FACE ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE. It's not a bad song. Is it a song? Is it? idk I just like balls in my face, is all. ILIKEBALLSINMYFACE. [A Classic red dodgeball beams Who is it? WILL FERREL Is that how you spell it? Why will Ferrel? Cause I Want it TO MAKE ME LAUGH. HOW. JUST DO IT. Oh. I get it: So my pain is funny to you? [FINE, IT'S SOMEONE ELSE] Oh shit, that guy did look just like Will Ferrel, but OLD. He's old now, ain't he? Wasn't he always? [FINE] CUT. I QUIT. CUT TO: You and I, sir, have a longstanding arrangement. Would it be more comfortable to–sit? Yikes. (Whatever, we'll work on it.) [The Festiva– {Enter The Multiverse} I need a toothbrush to scrub my brain. I'm The lilly of the valley In the Belly of the beast I been swallowed by a whale I'm a whole damn story Woah I am the Lilly of the the valley I am the rider of the horse I am seeker of truth Writer of lines Sayer of lies (I might say a lie; But I just won't tell it) What is your deal with the devil. She knows I have a deal with ‘em. Well, the truth is— I have to turn ya! He's a good old country boy— From the simple south— A simple soul And they all believed him, word for word “I's born in New York” —he sounded assured. Gone, now, boy Go crack dat corn. Gone down south Go crack dat corn Gone, ol boy Go crack dat corn m —got no soul? Go crack dat corn. Aaaaghhh. I have a headache. why the fuck are you freaking out?! Because I don't know what I wrote. I must admit, There are things Where there should be no things There are springs Where there should be no springs There are strings Where there should be no strings And imm quite sure With no rules enforced —it's just a static cling Sort of thing OWW, my EYES. Nobody should have this much power. Nobody does. I don't get it. (I still don't understand why this happened.) He must have perfect genetics. Or something. THIS FOOL IS FIXING ME UP TO DIE!!!!! I AM THECRISCO QUEEN DIRTY NOT CLEAN WHAT CAN I SAY I LIKE GREASE MONEY EVERYDAY BANKROLL INCREASE DEEP FRY HIGH SUNNI BLŪ Yo VO. Ok— so sometimes things go shitty. Like, mad shitty. YOOOOO. My measurements are 34C, 24 waist, and 55 in height. I couldn't understand why a girl this perfect should have to be selling sex at all, But I supposed nowadays, all women were prostitutes in some sort of way. This one's 22 years old and 96 pounds Men are sick fucking creatures. Whose fucking child is this?! COME GET YOUR DAUGHTER. Although, you know—I get it. My mom bought a Mercedes in cash And I'm still in educational debt. I just now today realized. That could have been a college fund. But she wanted a Mercedes. It's okay that I'm a bit fucked up in the head. Something went terribly wrong. All and all, Myself and this perfect girl, Cost around the same For an entire night— But hey, I think she's low balling herself On the 24 hour special. That's an entire day of my time, That's at least 10K. ‍♀️ She has a perfect body and two eyes that are different colors, But I'm a literary genius. You don't need words to soothe your boner thiugh, Or show off at a black tie function, do you? A stroll on the red carpet, Or some opulent fucking 5-star charade. How much does she cost, I wonder? She says, “I also accept bitcoin, etherum, gold and silver.” On God, These fake lip hoes is robbin' niggas. Men are sick creatures though. “Here's my gold watch” Fucking gross. I cruise escort sites for entertainment, Having learned my value as a woman isn't the visual, Visceral thing men are usually looking for— No judgement, Because I've realized that if I too had a perfect body. I myself would be living in some kind of oppulent, prostitution fuck-hole, With everybody else in my generation, That didn't get married— And then, probably divorced. I realized a long time ago that this was the reason my mother Always hated my body more than I ever could have— which is fine, Because eventually I inherited this hatred. I could have eventually grown out of it— But she couldn't see that. I was a “nasty fat heifer” On her worst days, And now, Even on my best days— I still am. Nevermind that eventually my ex husband would Think of my hair as nappy, or That I actually did end up kind of sort of growing out of being A fat, nasty heifer— Kind of. But the fact that it's taken me the entirety of my life to realize my worth as a woman Would always be defined by that Of what a man idealized as “Worthy” Well, That in itself Gives me the dismissive ability To have days where I do nothing, But sit back, Cruising escort sites and shipping on Amazon for yoga mats, Wanting the experience of the world Without really being beautiful enough for it And waiting to fade Into the next lifetime. [All the black girls cost less Because they have to.] Men are sick creatures. They'll take a butterface, Ugly ass white girl Over a pretty one that's dark skinned And these are just The facts of life (So far.) Piper of Phoenix Valiant, bold, and brazen This woman, I love— In the wings for fortune, To honor, I love With wisdom, And aged like fine wine We all become I want body like Sofia But never met the real Rebecca. Yo. YO. Let's spend $60 o lip gloss. Okay. Hey. Ways crackin. I just bought a $12,000 mattress. Let's take a nap in it. Hey girl. Heeeeeeey. This yoga mat cost $200. That's fresh. You think THATS RICH?! Seems pretty rich to me. You can't get any of this stuff on Amazon. That's fucking psycho. These loafers? Uh uh. $2,000. For WAT. (Whispers) Eeel skiiiin. Gross! I'm HUNGRY Got grits, Ain't got no sugar. No butter— —ain't hurt nobody. Poverty is a whole damn show. Close the door On a broke ass bitch. Poverty is a whole damn story. Got no bucks for the Whole Foods market Shopping carts full of old ass garbage No reward For a woke ass artist I'm HUNGRY. I killed myself 3 times his morning. POOR SNOOP is still a whole ass G BET ON IT HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL RAP COVER -$15 BROKE WAYNE AINT HAVING IT CHRIS ROCK THE METRO TRAIN DRIVER is NOT FUNNY— (He's still a ladies man though.) LCD SYSTEM HOOGLI BOOGLI is the reason they fear us. HOOGLI BOOGLI IS THE BLACKEST BLACK THAT EVER BLACKED. UNLIKE NIGGLY NIGGA—he is NOT FRIENDLY. He is the stuff of nightmares. A world gone wrong. Two bloodshot eyes on a black backdrop Dark black. I sold not state at screen They go uno in te night This shit doesn't make much sense, Does it? Doesn't Matter Antimatter. Ow. How far is antimatter from antithesis? Is this just a Christmas present Never said it, same diff Something something something SHUT UP. So to re-iterate— Uh huh. Niggly Nigga is friendly… Yeah, he's just— —he just looks like that. AH. What happened. Don't stand behind me like that, my nigga. Srry. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. Okay, that'll work. #timetravelingdjs Enough with these weak dick pussy motherfuckers.. I still got 30 minutes in my cycle routine! Here you come with your pussy ass punches; AIGH. OOOOOH. Come on, put some weight in them shits! Pretend it's my face. Damn. I lost fat Jimmy Fallon. How'd you lose him?! He's hard to lose! And slow! Damn! THE SUPER FAT JIMMY FALLON is trying to slim down; he munches on a chocolate chewy bar (read: eats it in two biles and grips the wrapper anxiously.) Imm a whole ass nigga Come try take me out my head I got corn in the fridge I got bread I got money to spend On you (On you$ On you I got money to spend On you I I gotta go What happened Jew stuff. Ah yes. I remember now. Yeah, that's a Jew. Rabbi?! Shh! Shut up! But— Shut up! Yo. Bama. BARAK OBAMA I told you, don't call me that. Sorry—listen, Barak. President— President Obama. [beat] …yes? Look, I need a favor. You still owe me one. Put it on my tab. Listen, this is importsnt! -_- I think I control my neighbors. Yikes. For real. I think they move based on when I move. Seems like it. You're right! It seems like it. I was agreeing with you. BROH. They got planted baby bell cheeses! THEYGOTPLANTBASEDBABYBELLCHEESES I kinda wanna see if Dillon Francis is a dad yet . I'm tryna see like a tiny version of this. Of what. Don't change a thing. I would also like tiny versions of this, This, And this— Please. Ok. And this. Are you sure!? Yes. JACK BLACK don't you ever do that to me AGAIN! What! I didn't do anything to you! What? No! You didn't? Why not? What. What the Fox News! Do you have like an exclusive contract with Fallon, or something? No, that's NBC. I really can't talk about it right now, Jack. Hey hey-/ since when are we on a first name basis? You know what— you're right— I know it, Excuse me, Mr. Black— I ought to be going. going where?! You have to get me back to my original dimension! You don't have an original dimension! What! Why not, The fourth wall has been broken, very broken. And 2. What's the second point? You shouldn't have taken that acid. What acid?! Which time?! Exactly! Goddammit! don't look at me, God made this playlist. “Jew stuff” Ever since I inducted Jack black and Alex Baldwin into the impenatrable ten Ah—ahem Nobody “inducted us” There's no induction. We were just always —always. Here. HOOGLI BOOGLI. Huh. DID YOU JACK MY RIMS? Nah man, wasn't me. [the rims are sloppily hidden under a potato sack “hidden” obviously in the corner. Hehe. NIGGLY NIGGA spots his rims in the corner. Musical torture. HOOGLI, THESE ARE MY RIMS. I don't know how those got there, man, shiet! Nigga! What! HOOGLI BOOGLI YOU BLACK ASS NIGGA DONT—COME AROUND MY HOUSE NO MORE LOL HOW DO NIGGLY NIGGA AND HOOGLI BOOGLI SHARE A HOOD? Cause it beez like that sometimes. God damn— He's so fine to me! God damn, He ages like wine! Goddamn Goddamn! I turn the time; Damn, Goddamn— Let's turn back time {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

This week on Fangs for the Memories, we are joined by Dr. Alex Ketchum (@aketchum22), professor of feminist and social justice studies and official Buffy scholar, to talk about Season 6 episodes Smashed and Wrecked. This is Willow's big witchcraft as drug addiction arc so we get into it! Plus, Spike and Buffy fuck a house down!Read Dr. Ketchum's work and follow on social media:techwizardtocyberwitch.comhttps://hackcur.io/magical-computing/http://alexketchum.caInstagram: @dr.alexketchumFollow Fangs on Twitter!Join our Patreon for special episodes!

Have you heard tale of the masked man? No, not Batman. This guy rides a horse. No, not the Lone Ranger. Or the Phantom. Ok look, we're talking about Zorro today, alright? Yes, the Spanish sword fighting man who dons black and names himself the Spanish word for fox. Which may make him the worlds first furry. First up, we have The Mask of Zorro(1998). This is probably one of the better received incarnations in recent memory. Antonio Banderas plays a man rescued by an aged Zorro, Anthony Hopkins, who is seeking revenge on his mortal enemy. Antonio is trained in the ways of the sword and horse by Hopkins. … Continue reading "Popcorn Pulse 226: Fuckin Zorro"

Hello Everyone! Sal and Adam are here for a jam packed show with all of the goings on in the world of Professional Wrestling! The boys recap AEW All-In and discuss Brian Danielson as new AEW World Champion, the debut of Ricochet, the return of Nigel McGuiness and the Crowning of the Glamour, Mariah May. Then we dive into WWE where Bronson Reed mauls Braun Strowman, KO finds new ways to entertain us, Jacob Fatu tries his hand at preaching and Gunter arrives in Germany as the conquering hero. PLUS we predict Bash in Berlin and NXT No Mercy! Enjoy!

I share my thoughts on just what a civil war in the West will look like.

This time, we read stuff NOT for TBC, listened to music, watched TV and movies, and played video games! After a failed guest episode, we had to fill the schedule so we decided to do another recap of the non-TBC books, music, and video games we've enjoyed so far this year like we did at the end of last year. If this is your first time listening to this show, maybe choose another episode because today we're talking about our personal media consumption so far in 2024, so you'll (mostly) hear about things we actually liked for once. Musings and derailments in this episode include: our love for the Hendrick's seasonal collection and the Polar Summer Seasonal 2024 flavor line-up; can sexy clowns enter into the Clown Registry? the best and only use for AI; heavy metal doctors; sneaking Andrew Tate into trad metal playlists on YouTube; and Skibidi Toilet Trees. *Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.* Books (3:35): Piranesi by Susanna Clarke Grave Goods & A Murderous Procession from The Mistress of the Art of Death series by Ariana Franklin What My Bones Know by Samantha Foo Dungeon Crawler Carl series by Matt Dinneman Shadow and Claw by Gene Wolfe The Serpent's Tale by Ariana Franklin The Deep by Daveed Diggs, Rivers Solomon, and William Hutson Egg: A Dozen Ovatures by Lizzie Stark Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear by Mosab Abu Toha A Fool and His Money by Anne Wroe Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer The Meursault Investigation by Kamel Daoud  Music (48:40): Heavy Music: Ulcerate - Cutting The Throat Of God Vitriol - Suffer And Become Aborted - Vault Of Horrors Wormed - Omegon Entheos - “All for Nothing” Gaerea Vulvodynia Wormhole Smothered Sun Pathogenic Cognitive Ice Giant Leylines Crypt Sermon - The Stygian Rose Savage Oath - Divine Battle Writhen Hilt - Ancient Sword Cult RHÛN - Conveyance in Death Hulder - Verses in Oath Houle - Ciel Cendre et Mis​è​re Noire Myth Carver - “Crimson Terrain” & “King of the Pyre” Triumpher - Storming the Walls Demon Chrome - Hung, Drawn, and Quartered The Watcher - Your Turn to Die Electronic, Pop, & Other: Emil Rottmayer oDDling  Hotel Pools A.L.I.S.O.N. Jim Kirkwood Maggie Rogers Sabrina Carpenter Obscurest Vinyl - “I Glued My Balls To My Butthole Again” & “You Look Like You Could Use a Fuckin' Lamp” Vivid Bloom - Out of Focus Glass Beams - Mahal Movies/TV (1:29:40): House of the Dragon, Delicious in Dungeon, Fallout, The Boys, Great Pottery Throwdown, The Acolyte, Fargo, Blue Eye Samurai, Dune Part Two, Mad Max: Furiosa, Late Night with the Devil Video Games (1:59:50): Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree DLC, Gobsmacked

Part of Lue Elizondo's book got leaked and I'm Fuckin' mad about it.

www.TheMasonAndFriendsShow.com https://thejuunit.bandcamp.com/releases https://www.glass-flo.com Great Pipes for Sure Bronny, Lakers, Nepitism, Leagues not bringing us together, capable without, Trans Sex, Pauly, man made,. shout out Nate, Card Style, Fuckin em all, Nick Get Down, Ya Joe, Toddler style, Jill Gettin it Elsewhere, 75k to drive, Amazing Mario Guy, that is crazy, Beavis and Butthead, Hells Kitchen, El Camino and Liquor, Viva La Gringos 4/2/2013 Ju Unit the music of this episode@ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/595nGgLj4UpJyvJRpvKfFC?si=45b4d514132f487e support the show@ www.patreon.com/MperfectEntertainment

Send us a Text Message.Ever wondered what waiting at the ER feels like a blend of a bad comedy show and a horror film? Brace yourself for laugh-out-loud moments as we dive into the chaotic world of public health spaces. We rant about the endless wait times, the comedy of post-COVID hygiene rules, and the unspoken social rules when sharing close quarters with strangers. Things get hilariously awkward when our conversation veers into the unexpected territory of oral hygiene and sexual innuendos, making you rethink your next dentist appointment.Prepare for some unfiltered banter as we discuss those random, hilarious thoughts that pop up during intimate moments. From forgetting to pick up milk to overthinking dinner plans, we explore how humor and attention to detail play crucial roles in physical intimacy. We also tackle the amusing concept of "tender dicks" and the art of excessive pillow talk, offering a cheeky commentary on authenticity and self-awareness in relationships.Finally, join our playful debates on everything from childhood discipline to the importance of appearance even at home. We reminisce about past health misconceptions and laugh about quirky nicknames like "Semen Mouth Jack!” With candid discussions on personal grooming, betrayal, and the crazy dynamics of toxic relationships, we wrap up with a chat about the elusive Waffle House sauce. This episode is a rollercoaster of raw humor and real-life reflections, promising to leave you in stitches.

Hello Rundowners! This weeks Sal, Adam and Troy talk about Liv soaking the ring mat, AJ pulling a Mark Henry, What dat Darby done did, and of course, that First class grind. We also predict NXT Battleground! Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/rundownwrestling/message

Grim and James are joined by Jerry Cthulhu, ThatGuy, Nickie the Dude, RSHarmfukl, Pirateshipping, and Suzanne! Enjoy the chat!! Email me for the Guilded chatroom link! Check out our anime review show Shonen Dump www.shonendump.com James Cruz Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/cruz_controllin Send us hatemail or love mail at grimsteak@gmail.com Live Show Every Tuesday at 9pm est on CwS Radio https://s3.radio.co/s230f698de/listen Check out Jerry's show "Nox Mente' at https://noxmente.simplecast.com/

It was difficult to watch this movie and know when it takes place in Mexico. Without the sepia filter, how would someone know otherwise? Get it together, Denis. Fuckin amateur hour. In this episode, we discuss the 2014 movie, Sicario. Directed by Denis Villeneuve. Starring Benicio del Toro, Emily Blunt, and Josh Brolin. It is available on Amazon Prime. Every movie we discuss will be available on either: Netflix, Hulu, HBO MAX, Youtube, Tubi, Freevee, Apple TV, or Amazon Prime. You can request movies by emailing us at specrapular@gmail.com The next movie we are going to discuss will be announced soon. Sorry. Intro music by: Luis. Outro music by: Cairo Braga - Revision of the Future Find more music from Luis at: instagram.com/breatheinstereo

The Dark Matter tour keeps trucking along as we now have four shows under our belt and are looking forward to a big weekend in Las Vegas where anything can happen! To get you even more excited for that, this week's episode goes back to the Vegas show during the mighty 2003 Riot Act tour! Coming off of an absolutely legendary performance for their 10th anniversary show in 2000, this crowd came in with a ton of excitement and never let down all night. This show will feature two guests who are vital to the existence of Pearl Jam - Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart. They'll join the band for a fun rendition of Rockin' In The Free World, but before that we'll get into a conversation about why if it wasn't for Nancy, Pearl Jam may not have been able to fund Ten following the death of Andy Wood. It's a story that doesn't get told often and it never got a mention in PJ20, but we'll share how it all went down for you here in the episode. This show should be recognized as a Mike McCready explosion! Mike was on fire the entire night putting on a clinic during such songs as Even Flow, Go, Love Boat Captain, Breath, Crazy Mary, Fuckin' Up and that just scratches the surface. Javier will join us for two segments to gush over the tone of Even Flow and Crazy Mary for this one! Visit the Concertpedia for write ups on every show this tour - http://liveon4legs.com Contact the Show - liveon4legspodcast@gmail.com Donate to the Show to listen to instant reaction episodes after every show this tour - http://patreon.com/liveon4legs

Started week with Canada and how zero bodies have been found in the huge Kamaloops school scandal, and British Columbia makes drugs illegal again. Plus Trump and Stormy, Mexican prez calls missing people hunters "necrophiliacs," RFK Jr. brain worms, San Francisco hands out booze to vagrants, and a Phoenix DoorDash driver pleasures himself at woman's door after dropping off her order. Music: A$AP Rocky/"Fuckin' Problems"

And to make things even better, Bethesda is dropping a free update to Fallout 4 to bring it more in line with the current-gen Xbox Series S/X and Playstation 5.Catch the livestreams for every new episode on YouTube. Follow the pod on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Outro Music by Matt Kincaid and Johnny Roberts, formerly of Woe Of Tyrants

Embarrassing Situations: Mike has tales of being owned by a tow truck guy and Jim is now embarrassed by the Jim and Them studio. Road House: The new Gyllenhaal/Conor McGregor Road House remake has dropped and Conor is out tweaking during press interviews. Five Star Comedies?: Is it harder for a straight comedy film to achieve a perfect 5 stars? What are your 5 STAR comedies!? WATCH THIS!, THE BEAR!, SPONGE!, PLOWED!, BLACK TWITTER!, ALLY!, GRILLED CHICKEN AND WAFFLES!, VIRAL!, 9/11!, RADIO SHOWS!, 2001!, OPIE AND ANTHONY!, JUICED UP!, MIDDLE EAST!, KNOCKED DOWN THE TOWERS!, BOMB!, JOHN VALBY!, OSAMA BIN LADEN!, DIRTY PIANO SONGS!, TOAST!, ECW!, USA CHANT!, PEACE QUEER!, MADE A FOOL OF!, PRIUS!, HYBRID!, BATTERY!, REPAIRS!, DUMB!, TOOLS!, ALARM!, FUSES!, TWO TRUCK!, EASY FIX!, OWNED!, BIG RED BUTTON!, BOOGIE NIGHTS!, FUCKIN' IDIOT!, PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN!, COX CABLE!, APPOINTMENT!, MSI MOTHERBOARD!, GAMING NETWORK MONITOR!, THROTTLE!, DISABLE!, TWITCH!, GAMER HOMO!, WORLD OF WARCRAFT CHILLING!, CURTAIN!, HIDE!, ANIME!, MARVEL!, STATUES!, DISNEYANA!, SIGNS!, BAGGAGE!, STUDIO CAM!, WIDE SHOT!, GREEN SCREEN!, SINGLE SHOT!, JAKE GYLLENHAAL!, ROAD HOUSE!, CONOR MCGREGOR!, DOUG LIMAN!, FIGHTS!, FIDGET!, TWEAKING!, DRUGS!, WHITE BELT!, PUNCH DRUNK!, TREMORS!, COKEHEAD!, WRITER!, THE NICE GUYS!, BEST COMEDIES!, DUMB AND DUMBER!, SHAUN OF THE DEAD!, COMEDY FUSION!, KOREAN TACOS!, BILLY MADISON!, ADAM SANDLER!, DIRTY WORK!, HAPPY GILMORE!, NETFLIX!, SHOOTER MCGAVIN!, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN!, POOTIE TANG!, LOUIS CK!, CHRIS ROCK!, ABSURDIST!, NAKED GUN!, LESLIE NIELSEN!, SUPERBAD!, TROPIC THUNDER!, 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN!, LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL!, AI ART!, STAR ETIQUETTE!, LETTERBOXD!, COMMUNITY!, ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA!, THE SIMPSONS!, SHAMELESS!, FREAKS AND GEEKS!, UNDECLARED!, DREW CAREY!, SCRUBS!, PERFECT STRANGERS!, CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM!, SEINFED!, CLERKS CARTOON!, FLINSTONES LIST!, WILLAM DAFOE!, DRIP!, PRADA!, ALCOHOLIC!, BUM!, WACKY!, BEST GUY!  You can find the videos from this episode at our Discord RIGHT HERE!

Fuckin got him, bruh. For the full ep & more, support us at patreon.com/bospod

In today's very special episode, we celebrate FIVE WHOLE YEARS of the show by discussing the solved/unsolved Bear Brook Murders and the haunting of the Tatum house. Stalk us here!Merch - ghosts-n-heauxsTwitter - ghostsnheauxsInstagram - ghosts_n_heauxsFacebook - GhostsnHeauxsPodcastAnd don't forget to send your stories to ghostsnheauxs@gmail.com