The Thing That Will Not Die

Jacob and Lucas watch the Z-Grade psychological horror film "The Psychopath," also known as "An Eye For an Eye" in Great Britain and "Oh My God Why God Oh Please Why Did I Watch That?" in Jacob's brain.

The snow's coming down(Christmas) I'm watching it fall(Christmas) Lots of people around(Christmas) Baby please come home

Danger, Will Robinson

I respect women when I'm on a date. I take them to the park or maybe a museum and I'll only try to kiss them if they're ready woohoo say what what what what I say what what 

If you think the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre also made no sense, text THINGTHATWILLNOTDIE1. If you were able to follow the plot of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre and think we're stupid, text THINGTHATWILLNOTDIE2. Enter now.

oc·to·pus /ˈäktəpəs/ noun: octopus; plural noun: octopusesa cephalopod mollusc with eight sucker-bearing arms, a soft body, strong beaklike jaws, and no internal shell.

"Leonard Betts" is the twelfth episode of the fourth season of the American science fiction television series The X-Files. It premiered on the FOX network on January 26, 1997. In this episode, Mulder and Scully investigate the supposed death and regeneration of an emergency medical technician (EMT) named Leonard Betts, a mutant who subsists on cancer and can regenerate severed body parts.

arnold beat a bear to death with his bare hands

his name is scoobert doo

eva mendeez

francis forgot to take his brain medication

he's not a pervert, he just wants turboman doll

childhood nostalgia aint what it used to be

Jacob and Lucas kick off the new year with an episode that'll be a real treat for everyone that isn't the director of this movie.

Jacob and Lucas fend off the holiday blues by rewatching a childhood favourite, 'Gremlins!' 'Gremlins' tells the story of Little Billy who witnesses his parents getting killed by Santa after being warned by his senile grandpa that Santa punishes those who are naughty. Now Billy is 18, and out of the orphanage, and he has just become Santa, himself.

Lucas suggests the plotless zombie action of the cult Italian movie "Burial Ground" and Jacob goes full Seinfeld.

Jacob and Lucas check out the forgotten psychological horror film, 'Stoker,' featuring that kid that plays MacGyver in the MacGyver reboot that has somehow not been cancelled yet.

Jacob and Lucas revisit the fourth film in the Alien film series, "Alien what? Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. Is that the one where they killed off Newt and that guy in the beginning? I think I'm getting it confused with the third one. What happened in it again?"

Lucas makes Jacob watch another weirdo sex pervert movie. This episode was totally not recorded months ago and Jacob definitely didn't forget to post it until just now.

Jacob and Lucas celebrate Thanksgiving by watching yet another cinematic disaster. Lucas tries his best to explain the plot while Jacob follows along and is definitely 100% sober.

And the hits just keep on coming.

Jacob and Lucas watch a "horror" "movie" about killer mushrooms made by delusional "filmmaker" "Dave" "Wascavage."

Jacob and Lucas talk about 'Halloween,' the classy slasher which Lucas hates. Jacob and Lucas will not be talking about 'The Human Centipede,' the disgusting nightmare which Lucas loves.

Jacob and Lucas check out 'Rogue,' a killer crocodile film that Jacob feels is a prime example of the genre and makes Lucas have to admit that the genre can be good.

Jacob and Lucas get into the Halloween spirit by watching 'Ax 'Em,' a poorly made slasher which Lucas claims is unwatchable while Jacob gets a little too drunk trying to explain why he liked it.

Jacob and Lucas chat about the obscure 1973 film 'The Psychopath,' a psychological horror film that nobody likes except for Lucas and maybe the director's mom.

Jacob and Lucas talk about the Italian horror hit 'Suspiria,' starring Jessica Harper and not Udo Kiers voice.

Jacob and Lucas talk about the 1974 classic, 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,' which was directed by Tobe Hooper, who died recently, as Jacob also plans to.