Episodes in Troubled Thinking

In the final episode of this podcast, Antti and Steve reflect back on what they've learned over the course of the podcast and focus on the key takeaways about being human. Keyword: inside-out understanding, 3 principles, sydney banks, eckhart tolle, acceptance, troubled thinking, reflections

In this episode, Antti springs an unexpected question on Steve: "If you had 30 minutes to live, what would you want to tell the world?" The gents then reflect on what's truly important and worth passing onto others. Keywords: 3 principles, inside-out understanding, end of the world, apocalypse, priorities, being human

Antti and Steve discuss the idea of Oneness. What is it? What does it mean for each of the guys? This is a conversation that explores oneness and how all our words are woefully inadequate to describe that which is everything.

Immediately before the 3 Principles understanding, Antti was fascinated by stoicism. Listen to Antti talk about what he likes and doesn’t like about stoicism, especially compared to the 3 principles. Steve asks a few questions. And quotes by Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus also feature. Keywords: stoicism, seneca, marcus aurelius, epictetus, truth, consciousness, 3 principles, inside-out understanding

In this episode, Antti and Steve explore some of the facts around the 3 principles understanding. Ultimately, what we see as true determines how our experience and behavior in the world. Keywords: facts, 3 principles, inside-out, sydney banks, understanding

What do we really need to know or understand to thrive and enjoy life? Antti and Steve talk about the simplicity of life, the role of acceptance, and how children often have life figured out way better than adults. Keywords: 3 principles, inside-out understanding, sydney banks, acceptance, jeff foster, being human

Antti has been making a bit of name for himself with his answers on Quora. The guys end up discussing everything from Quora to life in this wide-ranging conversation. Keywords: quora, inside-out, understanding, 3 principles, sydney banks, uncertainty, self improvement

Sydney Banks was the originator of the understanding Steve and I share on this podcast. But who was he and what made him so special? We discuss our views on Sydney and his significance in our lives, and share some of our favorite Sydney Banks quotes. Key words: sydney banks, 3 principles, mind, thought, consciousness, inside-out, podcast, quotes, wisdom

Who are we really, and why does it matter? Antti and Steve talk about our true nature, what it means and how we can see a glimpse of it for ourselves. Includes real-life examples - both of the ego and the True Self. Keywords: true self, true nature, trust, faith, wisdom, ‘the answer’, negative feelings,spiritual teaching, inside-out understanding, the 3 principles

A discussion about ‘getting it’ - ‘getting’ the 3 Principles understanding, and what it means to ‘get it’. Do you still suffer, when you ‘get it’? Does success now come easy to you? Or does life just carry on as before? Listen in, to see what Antti and Steve make of this fabled “getting it”. (Is it even important?) Keywords: getting it, grounding, understanding, experiential understanding, intellectual understanding, sufering, ease, peace of mind, three principles, inside-out understanding

Steve and Antti haven't spoken in almost 2 months. In the meantime, Steve has taken a job and he's also quit the job. The guys discuss what Steve has experienced and what he makes of it all. Keywords: 3 principles, work life, troubled thinking, ego

A fascinating discussion of an insight Steve had, “It’s All You (it’s all me)” which leads to Antti and Steve talking about the nature of insights, the nature of thinking, and even the ebb and flow nature of what it means to be human. E.g. we all get to experience the ebb (judgemental, mean, smallness...) and flow (kind, loving, openness...) of human behaviours, pretty much all of the time. Keywords: insights, experience, thinking, Thought, it’s all thought, three principles, principle of thought, inside-out understanding

Steve is struggling to get to grips with whether it is important for your “heart” to be in it for you to get it done. Like writing a book. Or starting/finishing a relationship. Do you have to feel inspired? How useful is this feeling for getting things done? Or isn’t it useful at all, and we should just get on with ‘doing’ irrespective? Keywords: intuition, listening, procrastination, wisdom of the heart, listening to wisdom, listening to feelings, doing, not doing, one thought, next thought, 3 principles, inside-out understanding

What is god? Is he a father figure in the sky, the energy behind life or something else? Antti and Steve discuss God and how their relationship to God has changed over the years from childhood to now, after discovering the 3 principles. Keywords: God, the universe, religion, love, trust, creativity, now, the feeling, quotes, Rumi, Hafiz, Woody Allen, 3 principles, Principles of Mind, inside-out understanding

Antti interviews Steve about his E-Course called How To Be Happy. He gives him feedback, what he liked and didn’t like about the E-Course, and asks him ‘tough’ questions like: given the ebb and flow nature of life, why is being happy even important? Keywords: how to be happy, innate happiness, innate health, 3 principles, inside-out understanding

What happens when a regular checkup at the hospital, over an innocuous wart, turns into a parents worst nightmare? Their child has an illness (cancer) and they might die. How does the 3 Principles understanding help then, if at all? What unexpected good things happen too? Listen in as Antti talks about his own experiences of this with Steve… Keywords: anxiety, health scares, skin cancer, fear, calm, collateral beauty, one day at a time, inner resilience, innate health, 3 principles, three principles understanding, inside-out

Is it possible to take personal responsibility? If not, what does that mean, and what CAN we do? Listen in as Antti and Steve agree and disagree about taking personal responsibility a la the recent thoughts of Garret Kramer… Keywords: personal responsibility, blame, victim-mode, doing your best, flow, riding the wave of life, habits, control, being, donald trump, racism, misogyny, other human flaws, 3 principles, three principles understanding, inside-out

Steve uses timer clocks, perhaps obsessively, to help him live and work as a live-alone, self-employed coach and blogger. Antti asks Steve all about it, and the guys end up talking about habits, strategies and Steve’s weirdest use of a clock timer! (Ahem.) Keywords: work habits, strategies, wisdom, insights, expert trap, distraction-free working, efficiency, 3 principles, three principles understanding, inside-out

Steve interviews Antti about his brand new 3 Principles-based book, Falling Into Place. What inspired Antti to write the book, what the name of the book actually means, and what he learnt from the writing of it, and Steve reads a short passage of the book out too. Keywords: falling into place, making sense, 3 principles, three principles understanding, inside-out

Antti and Steve interview fellow 3 Principles coach, Jill Whalen. And we find out how Jill discovered the 3 Principles, some 4 years ago (eating more healthily got her to see for herself that she wasn’t who she thought she was). We talk about addictions, letting go of her career (SEO specialist), improved relationships as well as the simplicity of life these days Keywords: addictions, relationships, career change, identity (and losing identity), non-3P teachers, inside-out understanding, 3 principles

One of the biggest cliches in 3 Principles language is the expression, “It’s just a thought.” A panacea for all ills, then, and yet this sentence can often sound patronising and dismissive and is often an example of BAD listening and disconnection with the person you’re speaking with… Keywords: just a thought, just your thinking, just this moment, just a feeling, intellect, understanding, thinking, garret kramer, innate health, 3 principles, three principles understanding, inside-out

It's possible to see life inside-out instead outside-in. So what? In this episode, Steve and Antti share their personal reflections on how life is so much simpler and easier these days and how things just seem to make more sense. Keywords: perspective, clarity, better relationships, ease, less striving, nothing is wrong, trust, addictions, drugs, alcohol, near death experiences, 3 principles, three principles understanding, inside-out

Happy New Year! To start the new year, Antti and Steve discuss what a simulated life means, and why it sometimes doesn't look like a simulation. We explore how seeing life as a simulation frees us up to play the game of life with more fun and creativity (and less anxiety) Keywords: waking up, dreaming, role-play, game of life, meaning of life, rules of life, meditation, mindfulness, michael neill, quora, inside-out understanding, consciousness, doing your best, 3 principles

Often transformative coaching is about helping the client to see their OKAYness. Okay, but what next? Listen to Antti and Steve talk about the creative possibilities that become available once the client moves their focus away from ‘fixing’ and fear towards creating and being curious. Keywords: creativity, curiosity, possibilities, problem-free living, coaching, inside-out understanding, the 3 principles

Why do we have so much thinking when someone says ‘no’ to us?... Listen to Antti and Steve talk about rejection, and all the meanings we give to NO, or to being ignored, or to any outcome we’d rather not experience. (Warning occasionally funny!) Keywords: rejection, criticism, getting no for an answer, vulnerability, internet dating, inside-out understanding, the 3 principles

Antti coaches Steve around a long list of sometimes deeply personal troubled thinking Steve has. Covering his thoughts about being a successful transformative coach, successful at dating, and ultimately successful at being human... Is it any of it actually real? Keywords: anxiety, troubled thinking, love life, coaching, meanings, feelings, inside-out understanding, the 3 principles

Why is it so difficult for us to ‘relax’ when we have a lot of unfinished things to do? Or is that just Steve? Is this perfectionism? Or not knowing everything’s okay? Listen to Antti and Steve talk about the ‘importance’ of getting things done… Keywords: relaxation, okayness, internal pressure, troubled thinking, innocent misunderstandings, inside-out understanding, 3 principles, sydney banks

Finally, Antti coaches Steve around the thorny topic of relationships. Specifically, Steve's belief that appearance (of his partner) matters in the success, or otherwise, of his relationship. Listen as Antti and Steve explore some troubled thinking Steve has around female appearances and relationships. Keywords: apperances, looks, faults, imperfections, inside-out understanding, 3 principles, sydney banks, fetishes, judgements, overthinking

Tribes and groups are in intrinsic part of human life. They're also the foundation of some of the best and the worst human actions and achievements. Steve has some troubled thinking around tribes and together with Antti they explore the nature of tribes and our place in them. Keywords: tribes, trust, inside-out understanding, 3 principles, holocaust, achievements, red auerbach, groupthink, conditioning

Relationships. They are often the best and the worst life has to offer. We start our discussion of relationships with this quote by Garret Kramer: “The foundation of an enduring relationship? Knowing your feelings aren't caused by the behavior, appearance, or opinions of your partner." KEYWORDS relationships, dating, difficult relationships, troubled thinking, overthinking, why are relationships difficult?, inside-out understanding, 3 principles, hell is other people

There are conversations that are just difficult. For instance, conversations about politics, religion, and race. How do we deal with them? Should we try to understand or fight for our perspective? Listen as Steve and Antti point to the innocent misunderstanding that underpins all these conversations.

What do you talk about when your client doesn't know what to talk about? In Antti's case, Steve ended up talking about people pleasing tendencies and the sense that he sometimes doesn't feel "safe". keywords people pleasing, okayness, not-okayness, sydney banks, respectful disruption, 3 principles coaching, inside-out understanding

Coaching doesn't always go well. Whether it's because the coach isn't listening properly, or the client feels defensive, or there's some other disconnect. It doesn't always go well. (Or so it seems.) Listen in as Antti and Steve share reflections on their last coaching conversation, and on disagreements, disconnects and the ebb and flow of being an ever-present human being. keywords bad coaching, disconnections, disagreements, discord, listening, not being listened to, inside-out understanding, 3 principles coaching

Antti is struggling with why it's so hard to be present sometimes. Why does the mind just want to escape reality every now and then? Listen in, as Steve (unsuccessfully!) coaches Antti on these themes. keywords listening better, improving behaviour, understanding more, presence, why questions, 3 principles, inside-out understanding, being present

No one likes boredom. It's why we avoid it like the plague. But in doing so, we create a whole world of problems and bad habits for ourselves, like alcohol, 'unhealthy eating', porn (and 'outrage porn' on Facebook/Twitter), etc. Listen as Antti and Steve explore boredom - including their own experiences of it - from an Inside-Out understanding perspective. keywords boredom, what is boredom, boredom consequences, addiction, outrage porn, facebook, online shopping, 3 principles, inside-out understanding

Steve wonders why he hasn't got as many coaching clients as he'd like. Is it because of a particular reason or are "reasons" just arbitrary conclusions we come to after the event? Listen to Antti coach Steve, and listen to Steve share a little of his troubled thinking around his profession. Keywords why transformative coaching, thinking, conclusions, 3 principles understanding, inside-out

What is spiritual pride and how does it show up in our lives and relationships? Antti and Steve discuss how arrogance, indifference, identity and holding onto what we think we know can sometimes spoil the best of intentions.

Difficult people can be, er, 'difficult. Whether they're a loved one, a co-worker, a family member. And no amount of 3 Principles understanding helps, sometimes. So... what to do? (Clue: 'difficult' is in the eye of the beholder...) Listen to Steve coaching Antti about this... Keywords: difficult people, difficult relationships, how to help, understanding, helping people see for themselves, anger, frustration, inside-out, 3ps, 3 principles

Monogamy and polyamory are ultimately just concepts. But how does realizing that free us up to show up more authentically? Listen in as Antti coaches Steve around this topic on this week's episode.

If most transformative coaching conversations from the inside-out end up in the same realization (that everything is made of thought), what is the value in staying in the conversation for longer? Antti and Steve explore the core of the transformative conversation and share why they keep talking to each other about it month after month. Keywords: inside-out understanding, transformative conversation, thought created realities, value in looking deeper, always more to see

What would you talk about if you didn't have a "problem" in a transformative coaching conversation? Steve talks to Antti about the place of ease he currently finds himself in - a place of doing without obsessing about what's being done. Listen as Antti describes how he sees the world from his current state of clarity and what the main differences are to the more normal state of "effortful living". Keywords: no problems, effortless, trouble-free- thinking, 3 principles, inside-out understanding, follow the feeling

More than 70% of executives are currently either working on conflict management skills or believe they should be working on them. In this episode, Antti and Steve discuss the difference between traditional conflict management (outside-in) and conflict management from the inside-out. Keywords: conflict management, executives, 3 principles, inside-out understanding, transformative coaching

Why do we feel sad and what can we do when we feel sad? Antti coaches Steve on the beautiful inevitability of sadness and emptiness Steve is currently today. Keywords: 3 principles, inside-out understanding, sydney banks, sadness, emptiness, apathy, loneliness

How do we know when to argue with someone and when to listen? Steve coaches Antti on distinguishing between arguing to add more noise and confusion and standing up for what we know is true and right.

What are insights and why are they so powerful? How can you get more of them? Join Antti and Steve as they explore the power of insights in today's episode. Keywords: 3 principles, inside-out understanding, insights, key to success

What can we do when we are feeling troubled, irritated, anxious and demotivated? Steve is definitely on the right podcast, because today he is having a real bout of troubled thinking. Together with Antti, they explore what's really going on and what we can do when we get caught up in our thoughts.

Do we really need motivation to do something or succeed? Or is motivation just a thought that has nothing to do with whatever it is that we're doing? Steve coaches Antti on the topic of motivation and together they explore what really is key for getting things done and succeeding in the world.

What is the inside-out understanding? How is it relevant to you or anyone else? How can it help you? Antti & Steve discuss what the inside-out understanding is and why it is the single most important thing that any human being needs to know. (The inside-out understanding is also often referred to as the 3 principles, and was originally articulated by Sydney Banks in the 1970s.)

What is feeling stressed about money trying to tell us? What can we do about it? Antti coaches Steve about some stressful thinking he is having about money or lack thereof. We explore why the number in our bank accounts tends to bother us one moment but not the next. Keywords: money, stress, troubled thinking

How do our expectations color our experience in the moment? Steve coaches Antti about the role of expectations in his life. The lens used for the conversation is the inside-out understanding, also known as the 3 principles.