PAT TREK

Stemmos Station's security team receives a distress call from a nearby Crama freighter. When they arrive, they discover something much more sinister than they expected.

Lindsay joins the Pats once again to talk about another Geordi episode, the physics of invisibility in Predator, and why you should never trust a man with a pencil-thin mustache.

The security of Stemmos Station continue their search for Glaxxom after he was lost in a horrific transporter accident. Will the best ensigns in Starfleet be able to find him? Or is he forever scattered across the Beta Quadrant?

Grant joins the Pats once again for the sequel to his previous appearance. In Galaxy's Child, the Enterprise crew encounters a mutant ravioli from space, while Geordie meets the living human version of the hologram he developed an unhealthy attachment to.

Pat and Pat talk First Contact (the episode, not the movie), where Riker's espionage mission to a pre-warp culture is exposed, and Picard must negotiate with an alien leader who sounds a lot like Unsolved Mysteries' Robert Stack.

Today is a very important day, because today two things of note are happening... First, I get to meet our newest security team. They sound like upstanding young ensigns, and I can not wait to meet them. Second, I have been awaiting the arrival of Glaxxom, an Ambassador from Zadhira. We must talk soon for the stability of the entire region depends us reaching an understanding about his planet's history.

The Enterprise finds itself in a mystery of lost time, forcing Data to keep a secret from his captain against all odds, and the Pats to talk about beard growth measurement for several minutes.

When the Enterprise answers a scrambled distress call, they unearth a planet in apocalyptic crisis, and a godlike flim-flammer, or "con artist", to use a more obscure term.

The Pats discuss The Wounded, where O'Brien comes to term with past trauma, the Federation chases down a war criminal from their own fleet, and Picard preserves a shaky peace with an alien race that we apparently should have known about.

This week, the Pats discuss Data's Day: an in-depth look of how Data navigates human relationships, deals with human customs, and avoids plunging the galaxy into years of war.

In this episode, the Enterprise must navigate away from a dangerous anomaly in space, and Troi experiences a momentary loss of her powers, thanks to a heavy handed metaphor outside the ship.

Carlos (The Dungeon Rats) and Aram (Godsfall) join the Pats to break down The Final Mission: an episode that gives us radiation mishaps, weird old miners, and the final regular cast appearance of Wesley Crusher

After Riker passes out in a cloud of toxic gas, he awakens in command of the Enterprise 16 years later (OR DOES HE?), then in the clutches of the dreaded Romulans (OR IS HE?)

In Reunion, K'Ehelyr returns with the son that Worf never knew, Picard tries to mediate a struggle for the Klingon throne, and Pat O. mixes up the names of Michael Dorn and Michael Piller.

Pat & Pat break down Legacy, where the Enterprise crew chases a distress signal to Turkana IV, discovers Tasha Yar's long-lost sister, and takes part in underground post-apocalyptic gang warfare.

A static warp bubble traps Dr. Crusher in an alternate reality, while the Enterprise crew struggle to bring her home by reminding her that time, space, and thought are All One Thing.

The Enterprise crew is forced into a delicate situation as a human-born foundling raised in an alien culture comes aboard. Cultural divides are bridged, a young man overcomes childhood trauma, and Picard gets stabbed in the chest (again).

Two young boys on the Enterprise are forced to forgive and forget after a nearly fatal practical joke, while Data gets his brain hijacked and is forced to visit a planet of Brent Spiners.

As the Enterprise gets repaired following its battle with the Borg, Worf reconnects with his parents, Wesley gets a recording from his dad, and Picard travels to France to wrestle his brother in a mud pit.

Pat, Pat, & Chris Geiger finish the thrilling conclusion of The Best of Both Worlds, where Riker proves his ability to command the Enterprise, and Data pulls a Jeff Goldblum on a fearsome alien mothership.

Pat and Pat are joined by Chris Geiger to break down the thrilling conclusion of Season 3: the one where Picard gets a bunch of computer parts glued to his face.

In this episode, the Enterprise crew rescues a mysterious crash victim who struggles to recover his memory and evolves into a phosphorescent Green Man costume.

In this episode, a rogue Ferengi kidnaps Lwaxana and Deanna Troi, Riker beats up a badguy with his chess skills, and Captain Picard yells some Shakespeare.

In Sarek, a legendary diplomat shows up on the Enterprise to negotiate a difficult treaty, while Pat & Pat mistake a vat of goo for the real villain in the episode: getting old as hell.

Pat and Pat dive in to The Most Toys, where an evil art thief has captured Data to add to his priceless collection of paintings, sculptures, and rare puppetry.

In Hollow Pursuits, Pat and Pat explore an episode where the Engineering crew must solve a mysterious warp drive malfunction with the help of a socially awkward junior officer (hopefully before reporting him to HR).

Zack Mast returns to Pat Trek to talk about Tin Man, an episode where a powerful Betazoid bonds with a living ship, crawls inside its weird hollow body, and blows himself up.

The Pats break down Captain's Holiday, where Picard takes a much-needed vacation, goes on an archaeological dig, and buys some nice interstellar erotic art for his pal Riker.

The Pats break down Allegiance, where Picard is kidnapped by some very rude aliens, a space warthog tries to eat his cellmate, and a Picard doppelgänger tries to fly the Enterprise into a star.

In Sins of the Father, Chelsea from the Long Trek Home podcast joins the Pats to recap the drama, intrigue, and thrills of a Klingon circuit appeals court.

With The Offspring, Pat and Pat use Star Trek to ask the tough questions, such as: What makes a family a family? What is a sentient being? Do people on the Enterprise use scissors to cut their hair, or some kind of laser thing?

In Yesterday's Enterprise, Pat and Pat (mostly Pat W) struggle to make sense of an alternate timeline where the Federation is in a 20-year war, and Tasha Yar returns to not let herself die such a dumb, meaningless death.

Join the Pats, Chris, Stephen, Zack, and Lindsay on the second installment of the Star Trek Adventures tabletop game. The crew of the USS Venture embark on their first mission: delivering supplies to station Epsilon III. Will everything go according to plan? Probably not, because that would be boring.

​In Matter of Perspective, Pat and Pat discuss another courtroom in space episode that starts strong and gets muddled with some questionable writing choices towards the end. They lighten the mood with some dueling Andy Rooney impersonations.

​Pat, Pat, and Brian Sebby break down Deja Q, a thrilling episode where the Federation must stop a moon from crashing into a planet, Q learns what feelings are, and the Enterprise security yet again just let any rando waltz into the shuttle bay.

The Pats try to decide who truly has the high ground in this season 3 Melinda Snodgrass political thriller. Is it the terrorist organization with no unifying cause, or the police state they inhabit?

​Aram of Godsfall and Dungeon Rats fame joins the Pats to discuss The Hunted, an episode that attempted to confront serious issues of PTSD and veterans' rights with extended scenes of awkward grappling.

Pranks from Never Tell Me the Pods sits down with Pat and Pat to talk about The Defector, a gripping episode full of Romulan/Federation intrigue, Shakespeare, and the worst spy in the galaxy.

This week, the Pats break down The Vengeance Factor, a fun romp of an episode where the Enterprise crew must make peace between warring factions of civilized Vice Principals and the rag-tag Party Dude Burnouts.​

By special request, Lindsay returns to Pat Trek to discuss an uncharacteristically panned 3rd season episode: The Price, where the Federation must negotiate against wily Ferengi and Troi is seduced by Lloyd from Seinfeld.

​In this week's Pat Trek, Geordi makes peace with a Romulan foe while the Enterprise narrowly avoids war. Also, Pat and Pat confuse Teddy Roosevelt with Joe Don Baker.

On "Booby Trap", Grant joins Pat and Pat to discuss an episode featuring Geordie's ethically questionable use of the Holodeck, and yet another ancient space curse.

In The Bonding, Pat and Pat find a very emotionally heavy episode of Star Trek, where Worf must deal with the responsibilities of command, an alien being of pure energy invades the ship, and everybody talks about their dead parents.

This week, Pat and Pat discuss Who Watches the Watchers, pore over the true meaning of the Prime Directive, and argue for five minutes straight about whether or not the Enterprise medical staff can heal an arrow wound.

Pat and Pat get back to watching TNG with an episode about a guy who wants to be left alone, Worf enjoying some tea, and a mystery that Picard must solve.

Lindsay Baish-Flynn returns to Pat Trek to recap Ensigns of Command: an episode where Data learns how to use brute force to solve his problems and Picard and Troi outwit a sentient sleeping bag.

Pat and Pat dive into Season 3 with Evolution, an episode where we find Dr. Beverly Crusher returning to the Enterprise and Wesley's weird nerd habits almost destroying the ship (again).

Alcohollywood's Clint Worthington returns to help the Pats close out the 2nd season with Shades of Gray. A mysterious illness takes hold of Commander Riker, forcing him to relive every time he faced imminent danger or arousal.

Pat and Pat finally get to The Emissary (out of proper order), an episode where the Enterprise crew must pacify a ship full of recently awoken Klingons, and Worf gets busy in the holodeck.

It's the final installment of our BONUS series! Thanks for playing Star Trek Adventures with us. We can't wait to do it again.

Oooops, with all the holiday rush we screwed up. Pat accidentally skipped The Emissary. Sorry, we will make it up next week. In Peak Performance, the Pats finally get to see what happens when Riker and Picard match wits in a battle simulator, and Data and some guy with gills go head to head in a board game with milking attachments on it.