Podcasts about Klingon

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 29 Barbie Lynn s Genetics In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.   Nymphomania, while enticing to consider, is still utter madness when experienced. "Why Mr. Zane, my Barbie Lynn has told us so many wonderful things about you," she sounded so sugary that the honeyed words flowed off her tongue in a manner that was barely coherent. Also, her eyes flickered to the shower where I'd nailed Barbie Lynn repeatedly for forty minutes not all that long ago. Next to me Thomas grunted something that sounded like 'hello'. "I'm sure she's exaggerated to my betterment," I pulled that banter out of my tush, my brain was suffering catastrophic blood loss. "I can't wait to live in this dorm next year," Laramie came across with a nearly a molasses like drawl as well. "Zane, will you let me use this room next year?" "Dude! This is your room?" Jefferson perked up. "Mom, I have to come here next year!" "Um, yes Laramie, I'm going to hold this room open to every girl, and perhaps guy, in the dorm. I don't need much space," I said, "so keep out of the way of housekeeping and we are good. Also, you are immune from Handmaiden's Duty while here." "Oh, I was thinking about the game stations, satellite dishes and cable hook-ups," Jefferson added. Jefferson Davis, that name rang a bell. "Come on now Honey, a man can't go to a women's," Savannah let that sentence die unfinished. For me, it was keep the lone male status quo; or to get a good night's sleep'. "Mrs. Masters, I offer a thin hope for your son; if your daughter could line up some upstanding seniors and juniors, he might slip in under the Zane Exception to the enrollment policy," I told her. "You'd do that for Jeff?" Savannah took off her sunglasses and bit one of its arms. "Ma'am, I'd wrestle an alligator blindfolded for your daughter. I would certainly put in a good word for her brother," I smiled. I had no idea how tough alligators could be but I knew about crocodiles and those were some mean mothers in their own right. Still, faced with alligator wrestling or no anal-sex with Barbie Lynn, I was getting a belt, handbag and new shoes, damn it. The odds of getting Jeff in were long, Victoria barely suffered Heaven being around, and it would take an act of the Southern Baptist Convention to bring in a male to replace me when I was gone. "It would give your Father another option for Jefferson if you could do this Barbie Lynn," Savannah politely replied. "That would be great," the kid rejoiced. Yes, he was a fully functioning teenage male. "Zane can move mountains when he sets his mind to it," Barbie Lynn winked at me. Thomas saw it but was caught off-guard. "Let me show you my bedroom," Barbie offered her kin. They turned and the women sashayed away while Jeff had an almost run-in with Raven and 'company'. Each woman shot a look over their shoulder and smiled at me at some point along their journey which boded trouble. "I apologize, Zane," Thomas mumbled. "I thought, deep down, you were weak for submitting to your lusts. Now, I don't, I don't think that anymore." "Don't sweat it," I smiled. "It is only another day for me ending in y." "And don't you be forgetting about me, and how tough it has been resisting Zane," Vivian warned the man she was hoping to marry. "A wife should obey her husband," he started, "and a husband should know when to shut up." Lunch and what comes after I dropped Ms. Reveal's lunch off with just enough sassiness to make her smile and believe that our bad episode was behind us. She sent me to the Vice Chancellor's office a minute later, and while Doctor Victoria Scarlett was conversing over the phone, I felt comfortable to set her meal up in front of her and mine across her desk. Victoria only had this canned ice tea in her mini-frig so I swiped two and set one before her and opened mine. I wasn't exactly sure what it was, it was pretending to be Southern Ice Tea and I pretended to like it. The best thing I could say about it was it was cold. This was our fourth "working" lunch where she would insidiously fill my head with her philosophy and I'd causally remind her that women ran this government, not me; I was a figurehead. "What are you doing for New Year's Eve?" she inquired as she daintily cleaned off some crouton crumbs on her cheek. Her look was very intense. I wasn't getting 'quite' sexual signs from her but something, somehow this was personal. That could only mean one thing. "I'm spending it with Ms. Rio Talen but no set location has been chosen," I replied. "Oh," she paused then, "There is a Science Fiction convention in Seattle that runs from December 29th to through the 1st. My friends and I are attending and Hical asked about you." "Deal but we have to fit Rio in," I agreed. "I can send some Universe, TV and movie series and well as costuming information for her to look over," Victoria agreed tentatively. "No need, she's a Klingon, a small craft captain whose Father betrayed the Empire and whose survival is a stain on her honor," I told her. "With that barely constrained fury, she's a natural. You teach her how to use that bat-a-rang and," "Batleth," Victoria interjected. "Wicked-curved-bladey thing," I continued, "and you'll see. Oh, I'll need an Orion Slave Girl outfit and some green body paint for Mercy and all of her stuff by October 30th, cost is not an object." "I'll call my outfitter when you leave and I must say you are taking this rather well," Doctor Scarlet noted. "Why? I had a blast in your office that time," I admitted. "As long as I'm not crawling in, screaming fur-balls, I'm okay. I'll be a human Starfleet Doctor Xeno-biologist who has done surgery on multiple species. A "Doctors Without Borders" kind of guy. I'll get Cordelia to build me an actual tricorder, trust me." We ate, she asked for my sizes, I gave her Rio's and Mercy's sizes; at the Con we were all 'Next Gen' except Mercy who would be Old School for Halloween. She offered me a chance to be a Borg but since they all looked to be in desperate need of a sun tan, I declined. All in all, it barely took twenty minutes. "You did a very good job as Mediator this morning," the Vice Chancellor added as I made to leave. "It is not so rough," I grinned. "WWKSD?" "Wha, oh," she smiled warmly. "What would King Solomon do, clever." "Hell, the Bible has a whole book called Judges. This shit ain't so hard," I laughed as I breezed out the door. Ms. Reveal was waiting, as was Heaven. Heaven had to exert some will to not kiss me on the spot. Christina had lectured us on P D A, public displays of affection, during Homecoming. The more people who knew about us, the more the outcry and the stronger Chancellor's radical decision to keep Heaven on as part as the student body, would be challenged. As it was, our hands would casually brush one another until we got inside my dorm where I chased Heaven up the stairs, pinching her ass every time I caught up. After entering my code, I gauged Heaven's mood deciding we needed some quiet time; there would be too much traffic over most of the floor, and Heaven being too vocal, to get away with sex; and cuddling would be fine anyway. I caught sight of Rio with one of my Marksmanship team mates, Genesis. "Hey Zane," Genesis stood up. She was a weird one, going from borderline contempt to grudging respect over the last two weeks. If I didn't know the impossibilities, I'd think she had a boyfriend. "Hope wants everyone at the Amory for an equipment check at seven. We leave at 8:15." Heaven held my hand tightly. "Boudoir occopodo," Rio snickered as Genesis made her exit. Heaven's grip nearly crushed my hand, ouch. "Babe," I whispered to Heaven, "let me check this out." I disentangled myself and went for the wall of screens that separated my bedroom area from the rest of the floor. "Get some popcorn and get ready to sit a spell," Rio joked to Heaven who grumbled. I went around to see who, or whom, were using my room. Inside was not what I expected. Savannah Belafonte Masters had taken off her top (which was peach) and was rummaging with growing frustration through Barbie Lynn's bra drawer. I saw some grape juice splashed on her beige skirt. She saw me, pulled up her shirt to cover her bra-covered assets while looking a bit fearful and upset. "What are you doing in here?" she asked softly. "It is my bedroom," I replied. "What are you doing in my bedroom?" "But, but Barbie Lynn's stuff is in here," she gasped. "That would because it is her room too, we sleep together," I answered. That slowed her up for a second. "Can I help you with something?" "I, I, I spilled juice on my shirt," she began. "And your skirt," I pointed out." "Oh no," she choked back a sob. "What am I going to do? I'm a mess and none of Barbie Lynn's bras, shirts, or skirts are going to fit me." I mused over that for a second. "I've stashed some bra extensions around here somewhere and that should allow for the difference is sizes between you and Barbie," I said. "Now give me your skirt and I'll find a replacement." She hesitated so I added. "I'm not going to molest one of my best friends' mom, Savannah. Give me your skirt and I'll take care of everything." This time she did it, though I had to turn my back. I padded back out to Rio and Heaven who had just returned with the popcorn. "Rio, Heaven, I need you to break into Chancellor Bazz' residence and steal a skirt like this," I offered up Savannah's. "Hell yeah," Rio exulted. "Time for a little Breaking  Entry." "Oh, what the fuck," Heaven shrugged. "Count me in." She gave me a quick kiss and the two miscreants headed out on their nefarious mission. I went back to the bedroom and stumbled into Savannah, now with her bra off, eyeing two of Barbie Lynn's double barreled slingshots. Our eyes locked. "Right," I spun away. "Bra extensions." "Zane, do you think I'm attractive?" Barbie Lynn's Mom asked. When women say that, they can mean three things;          the truth,          the lure, or          the lie. Some women want to know if you find them attractive. Others want you to find them attractive for nefarious means. Lastly, a few woman want to be reminded that they are beautiful. Savannah was the latter. "If you are asking me if you are as good looking as Barbie Lynn, Mrs. Masters, I'll have to say no but that's because you are a lady who is fully a woman and Barbie Lynn is still leaving some of the girl behind. There is no comparison. You are both hot," I affirmed. "I don't know," she sighed. "It is with my husband, then seeing you and Barbie Lynn, in the shower, What's wrong with you and your husband, if I may intrude?" I asked. "He had an accident at work, one of his factories, and he hasn't been the same," she sniffed. "Do you love him?" I questioned. "Honestly." "Yes, yes I do," she sighed. "But he's just not there." "Do me a favor; come over and sit next to me and I promise to be as well behaved as a Montana Miner (hey, it is where my family comes from)," I said as I sat at the foot of the bed. Savannah very, very reluctantly came over and sat at my bed, but I said nothing. "Yes?" she broke down and inquired finally. "I want you to laugh," I related to her softly. "Laugh, laugh like you do with small kids." "But, I'm not sure," she began then I poked her in the ribs. "What?" So I tickled her under her arms. Savannah covered her breasts by mistake so I got some finger in and began making her giggle and squirm. "Stop it," she gasped for breath, so I rolled onto my side and tickled her other underarm until she finally flailed in surrender. "See Savannah, I'm not the bad guy," I grinned. "I'm not seducing you because I think you love Barbie Lynn's Dad and you simple need to worry a little bit less, and love yourself a little bit more." "How do I do that?" she panted. "I want you to try on some of Barbie Lynn's new clothes and see what you like, and what your husband might like," I suggested. "I'm not asking you to dress like a teenager; but not every day is Sunday school either." Oh God, I was talking clothes therapy to someone's Mother. "But," she stammered. "There is a screen right over there," I pointed out, "that you can change behind and the armoire over here has a mirror." "But I'll be parading around here, in my bra and panties," she worried. "Well, that's a bonus for me," I shrugged, "but a lady with a body like yours should be wearing bikini's with less material. Look at it that way." "Well, don't ogle, alright?" "Sure," I lied. What was I going to say? 'I'll pluck out my eyes?' After several tentative steps walking to the dresser and looking over her shoulder at me with real worry that I might find her either too attractive or not attractive enough, I gave up. I covered my eyes because they gravitated toward her backside like a plant seeking the sun. A minute later she finally spoke up. "I can't find anything that I think will fit," she said in desperation. I had the answer to that; I went up and picked out the clothes Barbie Lynn wore to the concert a few weeks back. "I can't wear this," she gasped in fright. "Barbie Lynn wore this to a social function," I assured her. "It is perfectly fine and you aren't going to leave here in it, only try it on." You see, the beauty of this pants/halter top combination was the lacing. I knew it would fit her, but she'd be showing a bit more flesh than Barbie had. She looked mortified when she stepped from behind the screens, and a little better when she saw herself in the mirror. I withheld my comment until she looked at me. "I'm dressed like a hussy," she stated sadly. "No; a hussy dresses like that when she goes to the supermarket. A wife wears that around the house to remind her husband he's a man and that she's his woman," Caveman mentality. Savanna gave her reflection a second, longer glance. This time she took in the sides, and dare I say, her ass. All her curves were smoothed out and pulled tight by the leather. "My ass looks younger," I caught her whispering to herself. "My Boobs appear like they are about to bust free," she addressed me once more. "Yes Ma'am!  Yes ma'am, they do," I smirked. "That is the whole purpose of the design of the shirt but I assure you, Barbie Lynn hasn't had one escape yet." "Oh, that's nice," she went back to looking at herself in the mirror. "Now there are some nice shirts in there, as well as some, short, skirts," I directed Savannah. She came out in the first shirt, trying to make the buttons hook but they wouldn't. I came off the bed and helped her. That is, I left most of them unbuttoned. "But they, my husband can see my bra," she worried. "Mrs. Savannah, that would be the point," I nodded. "Let him get a peek of the bra." We both heard the quiet footfalls and it couldn't be Heaven and Rio back so soon. Savannah froze and I reclined passively on the bed. "Mom, Zane?" Barbie Lynn gazed back and forth. "Baby Child," Savannah blathered. "Wow Mom," Barbie clasped her hands in approval. "The golden shirt with the plum bra is a wonderful combination for you." See, I trusted Barbie Lynn more than her Mother did. "I was trying on some clothes and, um, Zane was helping me," Savannah gulped. "Oh Mom, don't worry about it," Barbie hugged her mother, "Zane sees eight girls getting dressed every morning. He's used to it." "Oh, she trailed off. "So he's safe?" "I'd never say that," Barbie Lynn glanced back my way and licked her lips. "But he's a good friend and I think that's more important. Let's try on this next; the black leather will look good with the knee boots." It continued like this for a while. Rio and Heaven slinked back in with the now rather redundant set of conservative attire. We retreated to the head of the bead with Heaven snuggling next to me and Rio right beside her. Heaven and I shared a pillow, on our laps. "Do you think they have any idea that we're all bi-sexual," Heaven whispered as Barbie Lynn was prying Savannah into a red bustier. "Momma Mia," Rio hissed. "Those are some mounds. Big fluffy mounds." "Seriously," Heaven nudged us both, "I'm going to need a blowjob if this goes on much longer." I moved my hand behind Heaven, worked it up her skirt and up against her panties until I was giving her bunghole quite a workout. "Fine," Heaven ground out. "You can fuck me but I'm coming all over the sheets damn it." "What was that?" Savannah called out. "Do you think this is too much?" "Oh no Mrs. Masters," Heaven gulped. "If I wasn't totally into guys I would think you look, delicious." "Why thank you Ms. Vickers," Savannah smiled. "And if I wasn't totally into guys I'd have you chained to this bed and be ripping your clothes off right now," Rio added gleefully. "Oh, huh, thank you?" Savanna responded more cautiously. When Barbie Lynn, now totally torturing us, convinced her mother to wear a thong and a short skirt something had to be done. I reclined sidewise on the bed while Heaven built a pillow fort behind me and Rio dove under the covers to suck my feisty transvestite off. It was a half-assed endeavor and a minor miracle that nothing went wrong. Finally Heaven yanked my shoulder back and took a big bite out of it. I could hear Rio slurping up Heaven's cum and prayed the others couldn't. Is everything okay?" Barbie Lynn called out. "Heaven's got a muscle cramp but we are working it out," I fibbed. Second later, Rio's tussled head reappeared and she punched Heaven in the ribs. "Shit Bitch," Rio scooped up some errant semen with her finger, "Have you been holding that up all week long. You nearly choked me." "Why don't you come by every morning and we can work out an installment plan?" Heaven shot back quietly. Regrettably, Savannah noticed our, acquisitions and reluctantly put them on but I caught sight of her running her hand over some of the racier things left lying around before she and Barbie Lynn left. I had barely gotten outside with Heaven and Rio, to see if I was needed, when a squeal manifested right behind my ear and a body slammed into me, bowling me over. Paige "Lover!" Paige greeted me. "Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend Zane." Now, I was on my back, on the floor with Paige in my arms and with her skirt flapping far, far too up her ass when darkness descended on my world. It took me a moment to realize that the two Joten (Norse giants), standing behind the sofa were her parents, they were freaking huge! Her Dad alone looked like he played two simultaneous positions on an NFL team. Paige's Mother was dainty, only in comparison to her husband. Not that she's fat, oh no, this woman was simply big boned and brawny. I had to ask myself: what happened genetically? "Zane, I want you to meet my parents," Paige studied my face. "Sure," my smile wasn't too forced, "but you have to remember to give me a kiss for luck, for tomorrow's match." We rose up and my arm easily wrapped around Paige's waist. Mom and Dad seemed guarded and wary. "What game do you have tomorrow?" the Dad, Roger; finally asked. "Marksmanship Sir. I'm the spotter to the team captain, Hope Song," I smiled. "I'm Zane Braxton, by the way." I can do this. I mean, how many other girls here think they have their hooks in me? "We have the impression that you and our daughter are, romantically involved," her Mom asked me. It was the way she stated it in disbelief that astounded me and pissed me off, as if a big healthy strapping guy like me would choose their 'flawed' daughter. "Paige is an upperclassmen so mainly we hook up for the hours of hot sex," I pulled her close. "Come here, you," I turned and looked down at Paige she pushed up and kissed me deeply. "What are you doing with my daughter?" Roger rumbled. "I'm kissing my lady," I smiled at him, "What does it look like I'm doing Sir?" "I don't know what you think you are going to get out of this," he snarled. "Paige," I addressed the sultry albino who was all but humping my leg at this point, "what do I get out of your relationship?" "Hot steamy White Russian sex," she purred in a Russian accent. Yes, this side of 'poor pitiful Paige' was new to her parents. "But our daughter can't," the Mom stumbled verbally. "Oh yeah, and I'm taking Paige with me on a cross country motorcycle trip this summer," I kept grinning. "I hope you don't mind, she's our computer tech and back-up bar bouncer." Maybe the bar-bouncer bit was too much. "She'll get hurt," Roger sputtered. "Ah, I bleed more than she does and there will be a dozen of us; so if she kicks someone's ass and ends up in jail we'll be able to bail her out," I kissed Paige's forehead. "Baby, Paige," Roger muttered softly. "How about we talk about this?" "Sure thing, Daddy," Paige agreed. "Zane, I'll catch up with you before you head out for the tournament." I swatted her ass, in full view of her parents, which Paige loved. She sauntered off like a woman victorious. "You are such an idiot," Rio snickered in my ear. "That girl is a nut-bag and you are feeding her dynamite." "Speaking of feeding someone some dynamite," Heaven took my hand. "No one seems to need me at the moment," I squeezed her hand back. "Let's run for it!" and we raced for the bedroom like lovers possessed. Heaven I lay between Heaven's legs, her thighs arching up against my own. She wiggled her hips against me and her cock against stomach. I bit down at her nose but she laughed and turned her face away so I nipped her proffered neck instead. "Oh," she gasped. To show me how much she liked it, she rotated her hips, rubbing my cock around inside her. "My Honey likes?" I teased. "You know I do you bastard," she panted. "Nice, slow and hard." I withdrew my cock and then eased it back into her depths. Heaven hisses out her pleasure and with her hands on my shoulders she pulls me in tight. "God, I love you," she whispered to me. "I love the woman grinding up against me too, Heaven," I smiled to her. She hiccupped in passion then began thrusting harder up against me until I could feel her ready to erupt. I took hold of her shoulders and begun pounding her in sympathetic penetrations. "God Damn!" she seethed into my collarbone. Dampness flushed up my stomach and onto my chest to the very edge of my neck. Face to face sex really appealed to Heaven and she was really shooting off hard because of it. I slowed down; I hadn't ejaculated yet but I didn't want to wear her down while I worked up to it. "Oh no you don't," Heaven gasped. "I, I know what you want," she giggled weakly. Heaven struggled against my hold. "You don't have to," I said softly. "I want to you dummy," she kissed me. "Now let go and I'll roll over." "No, let me," I related before I leaned in for a French Kiss full of need. She gave one more surge of defiance then relaxed. Then I shifted my arm down until I reached the back of her left knee. I pushed it up until she passed my hip. Heaven was glowing with anticipation. I was folding her up and then I was going to pound her thoroughly and fully. Heaven brought up her right leg all on her own but the real gift was the way she arched her back in ecstasy when I bottomed out in her with all the muscle power I could muster. We held eye contact as I drove into her time and time again. A tear escaped her eye and scarred her cheek. "Babe?" I worried and slowed down. "I'm happy Zane," she breathed deeply. "Happy." I resumed my energy and the very essence she was lending me set me off by surprise. "Oh God," I gasped and gave her my seed. Heaven bit her lower lip as I sizzled up her rectum with my hot semen. A smile must have etched my features because Heaven became quizzical. "What are you thinking about, Lover?" she asked softly. "I think I've had the best homecoming ever," I answered. It took her a second to get it. "You can keep coming home as often as you want," Heaven licked her lips and bucked her luscious ass against my still rigid rod. Brandi Hand in hand, Heaven and I had barely exited my bedroom when Brandi came rushing up with a girl in hand. "Hey!" she beamed. "This is my sister, March; and she's coming here next year. I wanted her to meet you, Zane." How bad could this be? I squeezed Heaven's hand. "Hello March, this is Heaven Vickers, my girlfriend," I shook March's hand with my free limb. "Hey Zane," March said shyly then, "Brandi says you do things, with lots of girls here?" "See how Heaven is smiling," Brandi whispered to her sister like some conspirator. "He makes me smile just like she is." Well, I had to think, not exactly like I do with you. "Brandi, what did you tell her?" Heaven intervened. "I told her," the two giggled, "that he's magic with his fingers and tongue; and he'll do all the things, to her." "You pimped Zane out?" Heaven snickered. "It, it isn't like that," Brandi back-pedaled. "I sent her a link to his website and told her to hide it from Mom and Dad." "And Brandi says we can have sex here with you, and God won't hold it against us," March piped up. I had to go 'What the Hell?' I give out dispensations from God? He really ought to tell me these things. "I wouldn't go that far," I got out. "Oh, being with Zane is a spiritual experience," Heaven snickered. "Ten minutes ago I swear I was seeing Angels." I wanted to stomp on her toes because March seemed to be buying it. "Are you a virgin?" March whispered to Heaven. "I swear on the Bible that Zane's never penetrated my cunt," Heaven raised up her hand to God. "Did he, you know, the other way?" Brandi leaned in expectantly. "Until I cried tears of joy," Heaven teased her right back. I really wanted to stomp on Heaven's foot. "What other way?" March joined the conversation. "You know, like Barbie Lynn," Brandi giggled to her sister. Oh fuck. "Didn't it hurt?" March sounded concerned. "Oh no," Heaven stroked March's arm. "He's slow and gentle." "Okay; fun conversation!" I declared. "I see someone who wants to kill me. March, you are a beautiful young lady with an exceptional sister and I'll see you next year." I stormed deeper into my apartment only to hear. "Look at that ass go," Heaven sighed. "Yeah," Brandi murmured. "Those pants are so tight. They are hot! Cappadocia Rio was getting downright mopey when we headed for dinner. As we were going in, I spotted Cappadocia and what had to be her little brother, mother and father. I wasn't sure if she wanted to have me meet the folks so I tried to quietly move passed. "Zane," she turned and called out. I deviated my path and went over. Rio tagged along. "Hello Cappadocia, Mr. and Mrs. Davis and, um, young man," I greeted them. "Tobias," the young guy offered his hand and I shook it. "This is my good friend Rio Talon," I brought her forward. Mr. Davis stepped up and shook my hand next. His grip was stronger than needed in that alpha male style. "It is good to meet you Mr. Braxton. My little girl says you are a promising candidate on the new to the first squad," he grinned smugly. "Well, Cappy would know, she's Team Captain and I'm sure she'll be Captain next year when she'll get to decide if I stay on First Team," I tried to be nice. "So does it feel bad to be beaten up by girls?" he joked. "Well, if I ever get beaten up by a girl I'll let you know," I gave him my best steely grin. "Here I get beaten up by women, really tough women." That brought the big guy up short. "Oh well, my daughters a real fighter alright," he stammered. "I believe you, she's knocked me unconscious once, in a practice session. She laid me out cold for about a minute," I enlightened him. "Zane knocked Coach Gorman down Father," Cappy came to my defense, "and took down three men who threatened some girls once." "You girls shouldn't be leaving campus," her mother chimed in. "Mother, we go out in groups and we are just fine," Cappy insisted. "Are you responsible for this new attitude?" the Dad asked. "Sir, I'm one freshmen in a school of 900 women," I shrugged. "The fearlessness was here before I ever arrived. It will be here long after I'm gone. I belief the unofficial motto for the Karate program is 'I kick ass for the Lord'," I sort of lied. Cappy said it and she smiled slightly the hear me repeat it. "Yes," he muttered, "we want our girls to be strong in their faith for the Lord. It is good to see Cappadocia having a vibrant faith." "Oh, I've seen Cappadocia vibrant," I smirked her way. She restrained herself from hauling me off and punching me because our act of vibrancy had everything to do with sex and nothing that she wanted to tell her parents. Her dad missed it, her young brother wasn't even paying attention but her mother caught our undercurrent. A smirk creased her face as she looked the two of us over. "Cappy dear, you to practice safety when you spar, don't you?" she cautioned her daughter. "Yes Momma," Cappy gave a sly smile of her own, "I'm always careful, even when I have Zane down on the mat." "As long as you keep control of the situation," the Mother nodded. "You keep winning Girl," the Dad rejoined the conversation, "because you have one more year of playing around then you need to find a job and let God give you a husband." Cappy didn't flinch but I knew how hard she struggled for the team and having it disregarded by someone who meant so much to her. "Maybe Cappadocia can either compete on a National level or train students when she goes home," I offered. "She's real hardcore," Rio added. "No one trains as hard as she does and the other girls know it. Hell, when I first met her I thought she was some Inner City Gangsta Chick, she was such a bad ass." There was my girl Rio, the Conversation Killer. Sure, Cappy was African-American but that never came up with us. As I recalled, she came from a moderately-sized town outside Atlanta Georgia. "What?" the father darkened. "Rio," I tried to pull her away. "No," Rio growled. "Listen buddy," she poked the man in the chest. "Your daughter is an athlete and a damn fine one. If she was a he and in football you'd want him to try for the NFL so why are you treating your daughter any different?" "I don't think you know what you are saying young lady," Cappy's father stated angrily. "Maybe I should have a word or two with your father." "My father is a self-righteous self-serving asshole," Rio began before I started dragging her away, "and he knows I'd kick his ass if he treated me this way!" she finished screaming at him. "Whoa Rio," I calmed her. "The truth is only going to rub that situation raw." "Cappy deserves more than that," Rio spat. "Face it, you are channeling some Mercy into this Bro," I said. "She'll be okay and back in your arms come Sunday. Cappy is tougher than her father knows." "You hope so!" she groused. "I swear, with some of these bitches, they are perfect bright and confident then you roll a man around and out go the lights, nobody's home." "Then we'll have to find a way to set them on fire so the light never goes out," I suggested. "Face it, you are the schools premier pyromaniac." "That I am," Rio grumbled. "I'll find a way to burn this shit up." Opal "Hey you two," Opal greeted Rio and I as we started eating diner. "What's wrong, Rio?" "Plotting the end of male domination of the Western World," Rio grinned wickedly. "Is there something I need to know," Opal looked from one of us to the other as she sat at my side. "Are we mounting a rescue mission for Mercy?" "Mercy?" Rio said suspiciously. "Sure," Opal sampled her fare, "give the word and I'll get six or seven girls together for a run at her family if you need it." Rio stared at her for a second. "Why would you?" Rio asked suspiciously. "A lot of us like her since she came over to our side," Opal grinned, "and she keeps you in line, most of the time." "Just to keep things straight," Rio sneered. "I keep her in line damn it." "Oh please," Opal rolled her eyes, "one little whimper and a look from those soulful eyes and off to the bedroom you two go." "Gurrr, as long as everyone knows that she's mine," Rio was now embarrassed. "And that's why we would come to help you, Rio," Opal gobbled a quick bite. I tried not to laugh. "Zane," Rio pointed her fork at me, "if you are trying to tell me I have friends, I'll bleed you like a little bitch." "Who me?" I grinned. "Perish the thought that anyone likes you or considers you 'user-friendly'." "I'm the soul of friendliness, fuck you," she snipped then smirked at me. "Opal, Rio met Cappy's dad and that didn't go well," I enlightened my shower buddy. "What went wrong?" Opal sighed. With Rio, you never knew. "It is the whole bullshit of get your degree, go home, get married and start pumping out babies because that's some twisted vision of God's will," Rio stated angrily. "Most of the girls here are like that Rio," Opal responded. "Now hold on, they want to get married but we can certainly help them find the right guy and not some bum foisted on them by their families." "Opal, that's positively human of you," Rio wondered. "I was the bad girl before you two arrived," Opal snickered. "I wasn't in your league but I had radical thoughts." "The first day in the shower showed me as much," I confessed. "Well, that first body wash confirmed you weren't a girl," Opal bumped my hip with hers. "With Rio, well, it took us a while to figure out she wasn't a guy with a really small cock." Rio reached across me and smacked Opal. "My desire to be in the driver's seat doesn't make me a guy," Rio griped. "You are only the second person on this campus to have a girlfriend Rio," Opal rubbed her shoulder. "Give us a chance to adjust." "Adjust? I'm hoping for some conversions," Rio quipped. "Okay then, what are you doing tonight? Brigit and I are at loose ends," Opal offered. Rio stopped eating and looked over at Opal. "Sure, but the first one to suggest a pillow fight or that we paint our nails gets an attitude adjustment," Rio demanded. "I can hear Brigit's quim quivering already," Opal leered. "It's a date." Raven, and Paige again We had packed the last of our firearms away in the van modified to be a secure courier when the families in attendance and some of the other students gather around the bus. I spotted Raven hanging back with an older woman who was a bit heavier than she was. I walked over to make sure she was okay. "Hey Raven," I slipped past her guard and gave her a hug. She tensed up and muttered something. "What?" I wondered. "This is my mother, Carol," Raven said softly. She kept looking down at the ground. "It is nice to meet you Mr. Braxton," Carol greeted me. She seemed to be studying me intently as if she was expecting something from me. "It is nice to meet you to Ma'am," I grinned. "Raven is a really good friend to me and I couldn't be doing as well in English without her." "Do you and my daughter have a close relationship?" she pried. I could feel Raven start to fold up next to me in embarrassment. "I don't know what you mean?" I inquired. "Mom, we are just friends," Raven said sadly. Oh, now I thought I understood. "Mrs., Raven's Mom, Carol, please understand that being the only male in such a large female student body, several girls put all kinds of pressures on me," I began. "Your daughter is unique in that she treats me like a student first and that she truly helps me get by. If I couldn't touch base with her from time to time I might go nuts." "Oh," the Mom sounded somewhat disappointed. "Raven, how many girls have you helped me get away from?" I tried a different angle. "I, Paige, oh God Paige," Raven rumbled then, "and Barbie Lynn, and Rio and that girl Iona." "You really do help him with other girls?" Carol sounded surprised. "Yes Mom," Raven perked up. "Girls are always swarming around Zane, they won't let him study unless I'm around." Not totally the truth but hey. "I hope you understand that my daughter thinks a great deal of you," Carol drilled me with her over-productive Momma eyes. "The feeling is mutual," I nodded. The bus's horn beeped, it was time for us to board. "Raven, give me a kiss for luck at the meet?" Raven looked shocked but reached up on her tip-toes and kissed me on the cheek. I reciprocated the gesture and turned to leave. I had made it half way when I got blindsided and staggered. Several kisses smothered my face. "Hey Lover," Paige panted. "Good luck shooting shit and taking names." "I'm a spotter Paige. I don't actually shoot things," I clarified. "Good," she purred then stroked my cock. "Save more of that for me." "Who is that?" I heard Carol ask her daughter. "That's Paige," Raven growled with menace. Yeah, lots of love there. "Zane," Hope said evenly. We were ready to go. I gave Paige one more kiss and a squeeze on her ass then slipped passed Hope and got on the bus. Hope got on after me and Gorman started up the bus. "Well, that's not a send-off I'm used to," Genesis chuckled over Paige and I. "If it breaks his concentration, it won't be the only thing I'm sending off," Hope informed the bus to even more chuckles. Hell, it's a gun club; a bit of bloodthirstiness was to be expected. Working Past Homecoming. As Rio and I pulled into the driveway of my house, I noted both the progress Aunt Jill's contractors were making on the extension being built to shelter the motorcycles that were now hanging out at the place and their number. I also saw a bike that I didn't recognize with a brazen gang emblem on the saddle bags, Stormrider's, not Valarie's. Rio was still sulking over Mercy being with her parents. It was Saturday night so she had less than a day to go before Homecoming ended and Fall Break began. The hope was that Mercy could convince her parents she was required to stay on campus for the week school was out. Considering what her family patriarch thought of women's opinions, we didn't think she had a prayer. "A lot of bikes," Rio noted. "I don't care what Jill says, I'm grabbing a few beers." "Don't run around the front yard naked or swing from the rafters and we'll do fine," I joked. I wasn't going to fight Rio on this, I was preparing for a hung-over Rio at Church in the morning. We heard laughter as we stepped onto the porch. I swung the door open and announced us. "Jill, it's me and Rio," I said. The laughter died down and I heard footsteps coming my way. Jill and I met at the entry to the living room. We hugged, kissed and then she showed us in. Belle and Willa were regulars and Valarie was expected. The ginger-haired woman with a beer and a smile was unknown to me, though. "Zane, Rio, this is Fontana Palmer, Valarie's mother," Jill introduced us. "How's the leg, Old Lady?" Rio grinned. That's Rio for you. Fontana turned to Valarie. "You were right, you can't go ten minutes without wanting to punch her," she chuckled. "I got it for you," Belle hopped up. Rio, in her foul mood, was ready to get in a scrap right then and there but I knew that was plain stupid. "Come on, Belle," I intervened. "GF problems." "Yours or hers?" Belle hesitated. "Hers," I answered. Belle leaned past me and looked seriously at Rio. "Mercy's in trouble?" Belle sounded concerned. Willa half-turned on the sofa to get a better view of things. "She's with her," Rio bit down on the expletive for Jill's sake, "parents." "Ah, what a bitch," Belle moved past me and led Rio to the sofa. "Isn't it great when the folks decide that you aren't good enough for their little pride and joy? Been there, done that." Belle handed Rio her beer then looked back at me. "Zane, two more beers," she ordered. "Hi, Zane," I mocked myself, "Glad to have you back. How did the match go?" "It is good to have you back, Zane," Jill touched my arm. "How did the match go?" "What was the match in?" Fontana inquired. "Oh, hi, Mrs. Palmer," I corrected my rudeness. "He was in a marksmanship competition," Valarie jumped in. "How did you and Hope do?" "Hope took top spot but it was close," I informed them. "The number two guy came in .02 points behind and third was .08. The team took third place." All I have to say is those two guys scared the crap out of me. Apparently they shoot moose with .22's in their spare time or some shit like that. "Congratulations, Zane," Willa grinned. The room followed suit, except for Rio. I motioned Jill to return to her chair and made for the stairs. "Beers, bitch," Belle teased me. "Sorry, Jill, beers, Punk." I opted to not make a scene so I dropped my bag, went to the fridge, and got two beers. By the time I got back, Rio had buried her first beer and grabbed for her second. Belle took hers and winked. "What? No tip?" I wondered. "Oh, what were you expecting?" Belle tilted back her head. I ran a hand through her hair, leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Our tongues darted forth, then danced back and forth within our mouths. I put a hand on her shoulder then let it migrate down to her breast. I squeezed it gently and Belle moaned. I broke the kiss and smiled at her. "That'll do," I chuckled. Belle's eyes were alight and she was smiling as well. Jill was looking into the fireplace and blushing, Rio was blas , working through her beer, but the other three women were staring at me. "Beer, Zane," Valarie leered. Fontana, far from being protective, patted her daughter on the shoulder. "Oh, hell no," I waved off. "I was crawling through the woods all morning then spent the rest of the day riding in a bus with other smelly athletes. I'm putting my bag in my room and taking a shower." "Are you sure you know what to do showering alone?" Valarie called after me. Bitch. The first thing I noted was that someone had been sleeping in my bed. My money was on Fontana. I'd deal with that later but at the moment, all I wanted to do was get clean. As the hot water scalded away the grime and sweat I thought happy thoughts about Hope. She hadn't complimented me but she hadn't a bad thing to say about my performance either. In a way I felt 'in the zone'. I caught the range, slope and wind changes like a pro and I thought her score showed it. I knew she wanted the team to do better but with the youth of the squad, coming in third out of a field of twelve felt good to me. For Hope, nothing short of first would do. By the time I got downstairs, I was shirtless, wearing gym shorts, and drying my hair with a towel. The group had migrated to the den, the TV was on, and the conversation was muted. Jill's look told me I should have put on more clothes. I only wanted to unwind. The looks the other women were giving me were far less motherly. I groaned, shook my head and went to the kitchen for some OJ. When I returned, I looked around for a seat and decided to sit down at Jill's feet. She leaned forward and patted my shoulder. That was fine. Valarie and her mother constantly stealing my glances my way was less so. Rio was nursing a beer and her hurt feelings, Belle was running her hand through Rio's hair in a strangely comforting gesture, and Willa seemed amused by the whole affair. At the commercial break, Fontana stood up. "Zane, can I talk to you alone for a minute, outside," she requested. "Sure," I half stood then, "Wait, does this involve me and pain?" She snorted mirthfully. "No," she smirked. "If you behave I won't hurt you too much." "Go on, you wuss," Rio teased. "It isn't like you've despoiled her daughter or anything." "But I didn't," I explained desperately. "That's right," Willa joked. "It isn't like you two have rolled around in that, it's not a bed. What is it?" "It is a sleeping platform," I mumbled. "I got tired of girls taking a header off my bed." "That's awful considerate of you," Fontana smiled warmly. "A moment, please." I followed her into the hall, then reluctantly outside to the porch. I was wearing shorts and it was cold so I folded my arms to conserve some warmth. Fontana moved a few more steps down the porch, turned, and looked me over. "Zane, thank you for being a good friend to Valarie," Fontana began. That wasn't what I was expecting to hear. "Umm, okay," I responded. "See," Fontana went on, "when her father forced this on her to make her into his mold of what a good Christian woman should be, I was afraid the experience would leave her bitter." "Why is she doing this anyway?" I asked. "She's eighteen and can make her own choices." "Oh," Fontana mused thoughtfully. She paced back and forth once. "She likes you so much I assumed she told you." She paused for a moment. "After my problem with the law, my ex threatened to keep my other two daughters from me unless Valarie came to FFU." "Oh, the fuck you say," I growled. My arms came down and I balled up my fists. "Listen, I know a pretty good lawyer if you want someone to have another go at your case, or I can shove his head down a toilet until he changes his mind." Fontana laughed. "No, you are doing enough. Stormriders take care of themselves most of the time but it's good to have friends too," Fontana smiled. "Valarie is having a great time at school. She likes the girls she's met, well, some of them, and she's happy that so many are heading out our way over the summer," Fontana went on. "She's very proud." "I would have never guessed," I replied sarcastically. "No, really," Fontana faked her surprise well. "I know she hides it well but she's really proud of where she comes from. Honest." She paused again. "Can I ask you a personal question?" "Sure," I shrugged. "Why haven't you and my daughter hooked up? She won't tell me," Fontana questioned. "I'm not sure," I worked out. "I've never pressed her. She may not like having sex with the eternal audience that hovers around me. Maybe she's respectful of all the other women in my life right now. All those answers sound plausible." "Ha," Fontana laughed. "Stormriders aren't exactly bashful. She says your girlfriend, Heaven, shares but I think she really likes you because you aren't hitting on her." "She likes me because I respect her boundaries? Oh, Gawd," I groaned. "At times I really wish I was an asshole. As it is, I'm afraid that one day my cock is going to fall off." Fontana walked up, patted my crotch. "That would be a pity," she whispered into my ear before heading inside. Because I Must Secretly Abhor a Good Night's Sleep Later that evening At school, I slept on a contraption that easily slept twelve and was often occupied by eight. I go home so I can sleep, on the sofa? See, Valarie and her mom were in my room, they were guests after all. In the prepared guest room, now Belle's room, Willa and Belle had crashed out. We had three other rooms upstairs but Jill hadn't gotten around into making anything of them. Rio was supposed to join Valarie and Fontana in my bed but somewhere between the 12 and 20 beers she and Belle were sharing; Rio decided to grab a throw pillow, curl up on the floor and pass out/go to sleep. An effort to rouse her failed so I put a quilt over her and let her sleep it off. After 11:00 Jill went upstairs and the rest followed her to bed. I put a few logs on the fire and laid down to sleep on the sofa. I couldn't have been asleep more than an hour when I felt something nudge my hip. I looked up to see Fontana's ass pressed against my side, her looking down into my eyes. Fontana was beautiful but in a hard, flinty way. She was mature but compact, like a she-wolf with little padding or softness to her. Her long ginger hair was pulled back in a ponytail though her bangs were hanging loose. She wore a tight grey t-shirt that said 'Eyes Up!' that highlighted her breasts. Sure, a bit of a sag in her 36C's but very nice. The shirt only came halfway down her belly, fully exposing her bright red bikini brief panties to my gaze. Her eyes were the same blue as Valarie's and danced in the fading fire's light. There were lines around her eyes and her face was weathered but strong. I could have stupidly asked what she wanted but, hey, she was sitting next to me, dressed like that after 'lights out'. I propped my upper body with my right elbow while reaching out with my left and cupping her right cheek. As I drew her to me, Fontana twisted her body around so that she straddled me. I had to scoot my body toward the edge to give her knee room to settle down. She kissed me with a steady intensity that slowly pushed my head back to my pillow. "Man, you are easy," she breathed playfully after we broke a long embrace. "I thought I'd have to explain myself or some other shit like that," she added. "If there's anything else I need to know, you'll tell me," I said softly as I brushed her bangs aside. "I fig

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 27 Appreciation? In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             Children must face the scrutiny of their parents     The Dining Hall was almost a relief. That relief died the moment I saw the banner over the front of the serving area in the Hall. 'Zane Appreciation Day'. Since every word was spelled correctly, it wasn't some stunt of Rio's, but beyond that, the list of suspects was too large to consider. This could be a genuine outpouring of acceptance and sympathy for what I had endured here. If you believe that, I have to ask you: 'Do you want your leprechaun pissing Guinness or Irish Malt?'   Most likely, this was going to be some sort of humiliation, and I think I knew the flavor, and I definitely knew how to find out. See, in every seat of the Dining Hall was a big, bowling ball sized white box with a name and secured with a gold and green ribbon, so no cheating; no peeking. That last bit didn't deter me, though. I snuck up on the box marked for Holiday Carpenter.   "Zane, does that have your name on it?" Virginia Goodswell asked me, my English teacher and Spiritual Advisor. Hell, if it had been Mrs. Marlowe, I would have opened it anyway, but Virginia was my buddy so her next question didn't mean to stab a stake of regret through my heart. "Where is Vivian?"   "I left my room before she was done." I looked to the ground while I kicked some imaginary dust off the slate floor.   "Why don't you see if she's been calling you?" she suggested. "She's probably worried." Worried, or homicidal because, ya know, I had sort of run off without my phone, wallet, watch, book bag, or anything else a 21st century student might need.   "I ran away like a big, fat chicken," I confessed. "Anything not glued to my body I left behind."   "I'll give her a call." She pulled out her phone and hit speed dial #2. I crap since her sick mother is probably #1. I am such a big problem for her, she has my guardian on speed dial! "That is Holiday Carpenter's box, Zane, not yours. Besides, there are strict instructions to not open the boxes until instructed."   The panicky response I overheard from Virginia's conversation with Vivian hardly helped my mood. She wanted to know if Virginia knew where I was, she did; that I was okay, I was; and finally, what upset me, because the other girls weren't talking but apparently Mercy had started slapping Barbie Lynn around until Rio and Val pulled her off. Now, that made less than no sense. Wasn't that supposed to work the other way around?   Virginia did a double check and sure enough, Mercy had slammed Barbie Lynn into an open wardrobe on my behalf, and Rio and Val had pulled her back. WTF! I am sure that Rio was right beside me on that one. Vivian triple checked that I was physically and mentally okay and she sounded so disappointed, in herself, as she did so. She was bringing my stuff; yes, I am an earthworm. Virginia promised for me that I would remain here until she arrived.   Some stupid gesture like a loud public apology, done on bended knee, was blatantly unfair to Vivian, who only meant the best for me. I made a quick apology, not trying to meet her eyes as I said the words and took my stuff. All of 'my' girls seemed equally subdued. A minute after we had garnered our victuals, Vivian put a hand on my elbow.   "Don't be so hard on yourself, Zane," Vivian smiled warmly at me. "You take a lot of stress and pressure on yourself. I understand that from time to time you need to take in a tiny bit of private space for yourself. Clearly, you can't schedule any such time because nothing around you stays a secret for very long and no one respects your privacy or even asks what you need."   "Vivian," I was puzzled, "you deserve to be righteously pissed with me. You are my Guardian and I promised to stay by you or at least tell you where I was."   "Zane, we let you down," Vivian assured me. "It is your dorm room and we are your guests, and we have been rather poor guests at that."   "How about we call a truce?" I offer.   "I can live with that," Vivian smiled.   "Cut the Kumbaya-time, kids," Rio snorted derisively. "Zane, what the fuck happened with Mercy?" Rio playfully punched Mercy's arm to emphasize her uncertainty.   "Rio, Bro, drop it," I asked sincerely. "Act like it didn't happen." Rio studied me a second, then got this wickedly evil grin.   "What the hell are you talking about, Glenda?" she hefted the box up then shook it. "It seems my damn box is glued shut. Are we celebrating one thousand cunts licked by you, or what?"   Because Rio rarely expounded at a level below full volume, next thing we hear is Mrs. Marlow snapping, "Ms. Talon, watch your language; there are good Christian women being forced to sit within the sound of your voice!"   "Gotcha, Ms. Mouthful," Rio snapped off with a snap and a finger raised up like a pistol in the air.   "What did you say?" Marlowe closed the distance.   "She was repeating what I pointed out," I turned and smiled. "I said that you really had it going together this morning; that you were more than a mouthful. That's a hip/trending term to describe someone who is expressing themselves through clothing and make-up."   "You are lying, Mr. Braxton," she snarled.   "You are probably right, as I do so to you on general principle, but good luck proving it in student court," I grinned right back. We locked wills and she blinked first.   "Ms. Phillips," Marlowe turned on Vivian, "what are you going to do about this?"   "Zane and Rio, would you please apologize for being rude and insensitive to an educator who only wishes the best for the student body?" Vivian requested.   "I so apologize," I bowed my head.   "I so apologize as well," Rio tacked on. Only after Marlowe had gone to spread love and sunshine somewhere else did Rio lean across me and whisper to Vivian.   "You rock!" Rio giggled gleefully. After all, Rio and I had not apologized to Mrs. Marlowe because neither one of us believed for a minute that she was 'an educator who only wishes the best for the student body'. To that nameless entity, we owed a debt, and to Mrs. Marlow we owed a generous 'fuck you,' and Vivian had made it all possible.   "Why, thank you, Rio," Vivian nodded her acceptance of Rio's praise. "Jesus is the Peacemaker and we all should attempt to emulate his teachings."   "So, I still don't get to lick you senseless?" Rio snickered.   "No, no, you don't," Vivian smiled, even though she didn't look at either of us. Vivian's going to rock as a mom.   The next half hour passed quietly. Everyone was curious about the boxes but no one was too worried until a rumor suddenly appeared. When it was suggested that they might have to put on bikinis, the fear set in. I blamed, I don't know but I wish I had thought of it. I was still kicking myself for the missed opportunity when my alien with the right face black and left face white shows up with the right face white and left face black, Mhain and Millicent.   "Death Match and you get to referee," Rio teased me. "I'm so jealous; 500 bucks on the one with the soul." Mhain glared hate at us while Millicent looked more than amused.   "Zane, come with us," Mhain gloated. I figured that somehow my ordeal was coming to an end so I'd play along. I rose and they steered me to the largest exit, flanking me.   Christina and Company grabbed their boxes and jumped up quickly to follow me, though they looked as confused as I was, confirming none of them were the architect of my discomfort. No sooner had we stepped into the cool, sunlit lawn than everyone's phone rang, except mine. I was loving this, right up there with having sandpaper buffing my sunburned abs.   "Open the box and follow the instructions," Christina informed me. "Is anyone going to do this?" My phone vibrated once, then my whole body tingled before I could respond to the call.   "I am," Mhain gloated. "I was promised something." She knelt and opened her box with enthusiasm; the others did likewise but at a more sedate pace.   What came out of each box was almost identical, different only in the anatomical part of the body indicated by the instructions. The objects were all grapefruit-sized fur-balls that made darling little squeaks, squeals and murmurs, amongst other sympathetic noises, all in tiny little voices. They were to be placed on my body, but I didn't know how that would work.   "Are we going to do this?" Chastity began to say.   "It isn't sticky," Hope was also saying when Mhain's flew out of her hand and hit the side of my left knee. She reached out carefully to retrieve hers while the other girls circled in. The little darlings were proving to be resilient little bastards. Several more leapt at me from the hands of their owners.   All this time the furry grapefruit were giving little 'wee!' noises when they shot at me and screeched like demons when they were removed, which was painful when they were on my flesh. I knew who was responsible and she was going to pay, but not right now. I saw my closest allies pulling back.   "TLM, Christina," I sighed in resignation. "Let's get this over with." I was being totally self-sacrificial; girls were starting to pile-up on us coming out of the Dining Hall. I didn't want a riot. Mhain had technically tagged me first but not in the designated spot, so I had Christina go first, she put one over my heart, not that I thought Cordelia was stupid, but now she was just piling it on.   Mhain went next and she was sizzling and excited, she put it on my lips, shutting me up. At least the girls were polite and organized enough to come at me patiently. A few didn't get the 'memo' and their little rug rats slipped out of their owner's grasp and got to play gleeful kamikaze as they plowed into me.   It didn't hurt but I had this secret fear that the tiny terrors would sprout fangs and tear into me. These little guys were murmuring and mumbling and it wasn't until I was truly buried that a horrific realization was made, the more that were on me, the greater their clinging power. In retrospect, this would have been more useful if we hadn't passed the 700 mark.   I looked like a puffy, overweight, Sasquatch baby. I could move but sitting down was a dream, as was running or going to the bathroom. The damn things wouldn't shut up either. It fell to Hope and Iona to hurry me (as much as possible) to Assembly; you know that place where I 'sit' in front. At least no one could ask me anything with the expectation of receiving an answer.   I no longer wondered how bad it could get; I knew it would get worse, and while I didn't know how, I knew it would be soon. At the start of Assembly my little friends joined in the singing, not using words but in the tinny little noises they made, though admittedly they were enthusiastic and determined. But it gets worse.   There was a discussion on stage after that fiasco about removing me. Chancellor Bazz wanted me gone; Vice Chancellor Scarlett was not in attendance but Virginia took up my cause. After all, it wasn't my fault, she claimed.   "Well, Black, do something," the first three rows heard Bazz demand of our Head of Security.   "I am not an engineer or a chemist," Black replied. "Do you want me to shoot them off him?"   Oh, yeah, my girl Bazz wanted that, so bad. Of course, what she really wanted was for Black to miss, but that wasn't going to happen. Finally, the teachers decided to soldier on. When Chancellor Bazz stepped up to begin services, the frightening fur-balls belted out 'Hail to the Chief.'   No one said a word, not a murmur. Chancellor Bazz stopped and the munchkin chorus stopped too. Two more starts later and she gave up and grudgingly took the 'praise' from my infestation. They were good throughout the message and sermon but took up 'Hail to the Chief' when she tried to leave the podium.   "Do something!" she screamed at Black. This time, Gabrielle sedately headed my way. I didn't want to think of the pain coming my way. My little buddies had my back. When she got within five feet the all screamed, and I mean SCREAMED, in the loudest cacophony most of us present had ever heard. I saw something I thought I would never see; Gabrielle flinched.   Not so oddly, I was fine, hearing almost nothing. The little guys on my ears soaked up the sound so I received a very watered-down version of what they were doing. Gabrielle fell back and at the five foot mark, the little guys shut up, mostly. They seemed to be making comforting noises to one another, like one Zane-sized colony of brown mold.   "Get away from him; just get away from him," good old Doctor Melrose Bazz pleaded as she moved her hands away from her ears. "Braxton, you stop this right now." I had a wee beastie on my mouth and Bazz was not on the small list of people I would devour this thing for. If she's looking for a conversation today, she's out of luck. She throws her hands up in desperation and starts to storm off. My little cock-sucking furry gonads (yes, I was getting angry) fired up 'Hail to the Chief' yet again, and kept at it until she sat down. Virginia got to thinking it's appropriate to call for the end of this travesty but she's dealing with Cordelia Dresden, Top Gun of the Time Lord Mafia. The weapon of choice; 'She's a Lady' by some guy named Tom Jones, the ladies in my life will inform me about this later.   For a half a second she tries to fight her smile but she surrenders, even letting the little guys go through the entire score before talking. The little tinny voices were humming a song I didn't know but damn it, it made me want to take Virginia out to a smoky Jazz club and dance until the sun came up. Virginia actually started tapping her foot to rhythm and I began thinking I might not be able to beat Cordelia. I'm not used to that sensation.   "Okay, now, whoever is doing this has put Zane through enough and should remember that we should, as Christians, make students feel safe and not make them subjects of humiliation," Virginia addressed the student body. "I think we can end Assembly fifteen minutes early today for a little bit of Christian charity. We can do it at Zane's first class, 204 Denning Hall."   By the way, I apparently have a play list. As Virginia headed back, the fella's changed it up with 'Baby Got Back'. I wanted to die. Virginia Goodswell has a truly fine ass, of this there is no doubt, I often compare it to Barbie Lynn's, but please. Virginia stopped, turned toward me with a dazzling smile and waggled her finger at me, then resumed her way to her seat.   How is any of this my fault? I imagine I was lucky it wasn't the Thong Song. I would have died, then come back as the undead to take Cordelia to hell with me. It was with some relief that Vivian and Hope rallied to my side. They had to both keep other students away, the other girls loved poking me in different critters to make them call out in different pitches and tenors, which was pleasant to hear if you liked overdosing on helium.   Surprise, surprise; no one came to my succor before English class. I couldn't sit down. Okay, I tried, but any part of my body that bent or that I sat on screamed bloody murder until I got off of it or stopped putting on the press. I've heard about girlfriends like this but I've always assumed I would have the courage to jump out of a 50 story building to escape.   What do you do if they come with you when you jump besides basking in the vicarious thrill that comes from crushing half of them beneath you before you go? I managed to do okay standing in the rear of the class, only once giving in to the crushing fatigue of holding my arms somewhat elevated for two hours. The two under my arms were especially cooperative and didn't get too vocal when my arms did slip to my sides.   I couldn't do a thing about the occasional girl twisting in her seat but either Raven's glare or Goodswell's cough brought their eyes forward once more. At the end of class, Virginia decided to call Ms. Black and have her take me to the Vice Chancellor's office to end this matter. Vivian and Mercy provided support while Gabrielle kept her distance and cleared a path.   Rio helped out by playing my musical miscreants as if they were a drum set while some part of the 700 members of my new posse and I yelled at her to leave us alone. She really is my best friend. My tragically slow pace was not my friend and everyone had to depart for their classes before I finished the arduous travel to the Administration Building. Gabrielle's eyes measuring you for a casket is a remarkable motivator but didn't stop Rio from blowing a kiss to her "Mi Negro Naughtiness". I know, I know; one day, Rio is just going to vanish without a trace.   "Ms. Reveal, I need an emergency meeting with the Vice Chancellor," Ms. Black requested of Doctor Scarlett's personal assistant. Ms. Reveal didn't miss Gabrielle keeping her distance from me. She did make the call and I noticed the pictures of Ms. Mittens were still in evidence.   "Who are you inside that suit?" Ms. Reveal asked me.   I guess she assumed I wasn't a real baby Sasquatch; I was really a baby Sasquatch disguised as a half-baked marshmallow. If three geeks and a man working beneath his means jump out at me with proton-packs, I am running for my life, which is to say 'I'm going to die.'   "This is Zane. He is not being rude, he can't speak," Ms. Black was kind enough to cover for me.   "Oh, I understand," Ms. Reveal nodded, but in such a way that expressed she didn't understand anything. "You two can go in now," she said several awkward seconds later.   "Zane, you move as close to Ms. Reveal's desk as you can while I get the door for you," Gabrielle instructed me. "Come in when I call for you."   I'm sure Marisol Reveal was curious as to why Gabrielle was dancing around me, trying to keep her distance. We almost made it; right as she made it to the doorway, Doctor Scarlett opened the door and attempted to see what the delay was. She was actually putting an award on a shelf she had just received, the reason she missed Assembly, if you find that suspicious, and was placing it on a shelf near the door.   Gabrielle responded as any slightly unbalanced killer would do; she spun around, pulled out her gun from the unseen Realm of the Gods of War, and pointed it at the stunned Victoria. That took her one half-step too close to me and my little fellas let the world know it. I will give them this much; they were still defending my eardrums.   By the way Marisol was holding her ears as her tears flowed down her face it must have been pure agony for her since I was right next to her. Gabrielle scoped up Victoria and sprinted into her office and they obediently shut up.   "Za-, Zane, what was that?" Marisol blathered. Since the furry meatball gone bad was still on my lips and I hadn't become that hungry, I kept my silence.   "Zane!" Gabrielle called for me. I did my best to shrug but it wasn't like I had a neck anymore so I don't know what she made of my movement. I shuffled to the door and got a few good squeaks as I moved inside. I was more than a little disturbed by the reaction I received from Doctor Scarlett when she saw me from her seat behind her desk. She looked at me and I swear, hand to my heart, she had an orgasm.   "You are covered in Tribbles," she gasped. I had no fucking clue what a Tribble is but apparently, I was in the vast minority. I staggered forward and since Gabrielle was on the right side of the room, I angled to the left. I move halfway around Doctor Scarlett's desk so that Gabrielle could go close the door, where she took up post and, from what happened next engaged a Romulan Cloaking Device, whatever the Muggle-tech that is.   Victoria was in some sort of dream-like trance. When she started stumbling around the desk toward me, I waited for the musical assault that never came. To my credit, I caught on in a second. If these creatures existed, singing wasn't their normal activity, and Cordelia wanted these little 'Squeaky Meals' to be as real as possible, for Victoria. I was nothing but bait.   Victoria reached out to caress the same one Christina had placed over my heart. The little bugger cooed and Victoria clamped her thighs together to contain another orgasm that coursed through her loins. Cool, all I have to do to feel the wonders of Victoria Scarlett is dress myself in furry grapefruit. I'm kicking myself for not seeing this obvious ploy.   She touches more and each makes a subtly different purr of pleasure. This goes on and on until she's cuddled up against me, her arms stroking over my back and rubbing her left leg up and down mine.   "Vice Chancellor, you do realize Zane Braxton is TRAPPED inside those, contraptions," Gabrielle sounds the slightest bit peeved.   The troops all make those little high-pitched notes of longing as Victoria retreats a few steps, bringing Victoria almost to the point where she launches herself back into me to comfort her little friends. I am second fiddle to a discombobulated guinea pig; sometimes a man can feel pretty small.   "Okay. How did this happen to you, Zane?" Victoria asked.   "He cannot talk; one of those Tribbles is attached to his lips," Black stated, "by an unknown force. Before you ask; I am not an engineer or chemist." Victoria made this adorable little 'o' expression, then reached for an offending Tribble.   "It hurts him to remove them," Gabrielle got out just in time.   "Does it hurt the Tribble?" Victoria inquired. Gee, thanks, Vic.   "Hold your ears," Gabrielle commanded. Well, I couldn't comply, and Victoria had only started to scream 'stop' when Gabrielle materialized a knife and speared 'Diddley-boo' off my shoulder.   I heard the little guy's death wail, then his death rattle, as Gabrielle pulled him/her away until she was out of screaming range. Diddley-boo? No, I have no idea what his/her name really was but I'm going to have ICE check his immigration status when all of this is over, wait, I can't do that; Gabrielle wacked the little snot and giving her up to the Feds is a great way to create many widows and orphans. Diddley-boo was still twitching erratically while Victoria was stuck between ecstasy and horror.   "You are a Klingon agent!" Victoria gasped as she pointed an accusatory finger at Gabrielle. I am vaguely aware that they are the stock-villains of Star Trek Universe and this odd snapshot of rightly tight, athletic buns in tighter pants, but the reference memory for the scene escapes me. By the facial reaction Gabrielle gives, Victoria just called candy sweet, or jalapenos hot; she appreciates the comparison.   All the surviving members of the Tribble tribe wept a cacophony of pain and loss. I would have had more sympathy if their moans had not been vibrating my body like a jello mold.   "Romulan," Gabrielle countered; the other stock Trekkie villains, but they have better teeth. First amongst our Honored Dead, DB hardly quivers as Ms. Black dissects it.   It bleeds/oozes and appears to be a living organism of some kind, but Gabrielle points to several electronic devices, a CPU, and wires connecting all kinds of things inside the organic body.   "It is an organic husk over a sensory/auditory device," Gabrielle tried to explain.   "Oh, my God," Victoria's mind worked feverish to defy reality, "they've been turned into Borgs."   She tore the one attached to my lips off. I didn't cry like a televangelist publicly begging God for forgiveness for a moment, or 147 moments, of weakness with a rather sad-looking prostitute, but that was coming.   You see, Victoria gripped her weeping diminutive fuzzy engine of humiliation tightly when she yanked it off, so she let go of it because the little blighter sounded hurt.   It gave off a more muted and mournful 'wee' as it smacked into the corner of my mouth. I was able to dodge a direct hit.   "Scarlett," Gabrielle seethed, "if, you, would, listen, for, a, moment; they are painful to be removed from his flesh and they will attempt to reattach themselves to him if they are brought within one foot. I have no idea why."   "Zane, are you in much pain?" Doctor Scarlett inquired while scanning my body fungi.   "Yes, but I'm sure if you kick me in the nuts, I'll feel better," I mumbled through a joke.   "I can't do that," Victoria gasped. "You have Tribbles down there." Yes, I feel special.   "That's it," Gabrielle snapped. "I'm going to get help." She spun around and breezed out the door, slamming it in her wake.   "Thanks for abandoning me, Gabby," I shouted as loud as I was able. "It's not like Vic's totally lost her mind or anything like that."   "I have not lost my mind," Victoria responded with a deceptively calm, soothing tone. She reinforced my calm by locking the door, then locking in the deadbolt, yes, I felt much safer.   My merry band of orphan coconuts helped things along the cliffs of sanity by cooing and 'talking' to Victoria as she walked around the office, and she gaily responded to them.   "Ms. Reveal, this is going to be a difficult intervention. Inform me when lunch time gets here," Victoria communicated to her assistant, then added, "I need a box of outdoor trash bags; leave them at the door."   Having a hot lady like Victoria Scarlett lock the door and asking for almost 3 hours of 'alone' time with me is a mature pipe dream of mine, and that dream really meets a bloody end when she asks for roughly 30 bags with a fifty-gallon capacity each. If she pulls out a hacksaw or a 'cow-stunner,' I'm racing for the window behind the Doc's desk. I'll be gone in 90 seconds, sort of like an inexpensive microwave dinner.   Doctor Scarlett returned to her desk, turned her spy-cam around, and started making calls. I honestly maintained a miniscule hope that she might still help me. She was talking curtly to another doctor whose name I didn't recognize. What came out of her mouth next sounded like a combination of eating raw meat all your life and gargling with sand regularly; add to that an inflection of someone wanting to kick elementary kids into the paths of oncoming busses and you had the language she was using.   Victoria's stance even changed. She thrust out her chest, put her hands on her hips, and a predatory sneer took up permanent residency on her lips. She even beat on her desk hard during this little exchange before laughing in a way that made kittens piss on themselves before you hung them.   "Vice Chancellor, Doctor Victoria Scarlett, umm, what's going on?" I said careful.   I'm not so much terrified of Victoria at this point, as I am suspicious of my ability to fight at the moment.   "Everything is fine, Zane," Victoria assured me. "In essence, I am bringing in some experts in the field. You can trust me on this; we've been expecting contact like this for years." Huh?   "So, ah, that was an Albanian Biologist?" I hoped.   "No, that was Vor' Dura, Flight Leader of the Blood Quasar Fleet of the Klingon Empire," Victoria explained sedately, in the same way any SANE individual described a Navy Commander. She turned her computer screen so I could see the person's profile pic.   "How does she breathe in that thing?" I wondered. "That's one hell of a corset."   "That isn't a corset, Zane, its body armor. My suit was created by the same armorer," she stated.   "You have something like that?" I boggled.   "Yes, the precise same suit. Vor' Dura is not as blessed by her bloodlines, she's shorter, but otherwise, we are identical; our alliance ended recently and soon she must face me in ritual combat; yield or die." 'Yield or die' isn't what is centermost in my mind.   "Don't your boobs ever pop out of that thing?" Because if you have been paying any attention; I am an idiot where sex is even a remote possibility. Victoria can't meet my gaze but turns as red as her namesake.   "On a few occasions," she confessed. I'm thinking 'a few'. "Now I have a few more calls to make."   Yes, she's lost her ever-loving mind, and I have no reasonable expectation of exit or rescue. I won't be able to get up enough speed to bust out of the window so being on the first floor is meaningless. She has the deadbolt key and when I stack up my Tribbles against her Science Fiction fanaticism, I lose. She turns the monitor around and makes her next call. This one starts with the victory salute, but the one done with two fingers to each side.   "Excellent news," Vicky declares. "We have confirmation of the temporal events from Deep Space Nine. I have compelling data that I have encountered genetic derivatives of the dominant herbivorous life forms of Iota Geminorum IV." And everything went to turkey-based insanity after that. Again, they spoke rapidly in a language I knew nothing about. They acted like giddy little schoolgirls, just schoolgirls with their emotions surgically removed.   The final call went much same way except that this time, the tone of the language was like the second but with the taint of a sleazy pimp or grifter thinking she was a mob boss. These were the kinds of girls you never let babysit your kids if you ever wanted to see them again. The way Vic looked at me and the fellas made me worry about how long I could last in her brothel and inspired an unexpected sympathy for these pests.   "Zane, do you promise to stay here while I, umm, get some, umm outfits?" Victoria requests respectfully. She realizes she's asking me a bizarre favor. Balthazar's Balls, I've been tied to a cross; how much worse can this be? She scoots up to me, kisses me chastely on the lips and waits.   "It is a given that my morning class schedule is toast, and I'm no stranger to the entertainment industry so knock yourself out," I allow, but I will have to pee at some time."   "Check; I'll stop by the infirmary and get a catheter," she nods, then she kisses me lightly on the lips once more. "Thank you for this, Zane."   She's off like a shot but is careful enough to get the deadbolt on the way out. Since I doubt Ms. Reveal can get a fire-axe through the door if the building catches fire, my buddies and I really are going to experience total protonic reversal on a life-ending scale. Only now does it occur to me that these fuzzy navels might have toxic side effects.   I'm waiting around for God-knows how long when I hear some muffled noises, more muffled than having a Tribble in my ear.   Scratch, scratch, "Girl, you get away from that door," Ms. Reveal shouted (I guess).   "Quick, Mercy, hold her back," Rio shouted in response. "This deadbolt is a bitch."   A scuffle ensued and I tried to shout loud enough to call Rio off when I heard two rapid-fire thumps.   "Thank you, Ms. Black," Marisol Reveal huffed. Mercy had put up quite a fight, I guessed. "I will formally press charges when the Vice Chancellor returns."   "You will go and sit your ass behind your desk, you incompetent buffoon," Black snapped. "I will deal with this and if you bother me again today, or mention this incident to Scarlett, I swear you will never see your cat again; and if you don't hop-to in the next six seconds, I'll make an audio recording of me strangling that shit-dumper and play it by your bedroom window every night until you go mad. Do I make myself clear?"   "Ugh," is all I make out, but I hear Marisol's chair squeak soon after. The sound of a body, or bodies, being drug off faded away as Black left the office and headed down the hall. Hell, I warned Marisol. I can't do anything for Rio right now and I don't have too long to ruminate.   "Marisol, are you okay?" I hear Victoria ask her assistant. It is a testament to their bond that even the hysterical Doctor doesn't miss her friend's distress.   "Sorry, Victoria, I'm a bit, umm, heart-sick is all," Marisol murmurs. "Don't you worry about it."   "Well, when you want to talk about it, let me know," Victoria stated. Marisol must have nodded because no words were spoken and Victoria came in with two carry-on bags and three dress bags while kicking the trash bag box ahead of her. Happy fun time was about to begin.   "Sorry for the wait, Zane," Victoria told me.   "Doctor," I made a desperate Hail Mary plea for reason, "you are a highly respected educator. We really need to take a step back and re-examine what's going on here."   "Zane, this is my first teaching job ever," she related as she checked on the progress of her 'Trekkie' Posse.   "My doctorate is in Philosophy; my Master's Degrees are in Comparative Religions and Women's Studies," she informed me. "All my graduate work was done as a researcher. I've never had a student." I blink dumbly at her; and here I thought my opinion of the Board of Directors couldn't get worse.   Victoria goes over the language dance with her friends, switching fluidly from tongue to tongue in a manner that impresses and even fascinates me; and I've been to Bangkok where if you are trying to buy and/or sell anything and don't speak at least ten different languages or dialects, you might as well hand them your wallet or purse and go home. "Who do we need?" Vic said in English (just making sure everyone knows that the Tribbles aren't suddenly translating for me).   "Kar'Thon," Vor' Dura states eagerly; "This matter is a racial imperative."   "Are you sure the young man is old enough?" The second woman inquired. "Jarrod went all obsessive last time a boy crossed our path. We almost sent the kid to college."   "That's what you get for marrying a Ferengi," Dura snidely remarked, and the rest laughed along with it; meanwhile, I'm going 'a what?'   Some infighting goes on until Victoria and 'I married a Ferengi' call for peace, then babble a little more. Then the name 'Zane Braxton' comes up and I'm not sure I'm happy or sad that only one of them replies in what was clearly elation and surprise, the sleazy one knows of me.   "Zane, I need to surgically remove some of the alien organisms," Victoria tells me.   "It is going to sting like hell," I mutter, to which Vor' Dura says something and sleazy girl laughs. I do not like where this is going at all. On the bright side, Victoria doesn't rip one off of me right away; she goes over to one of the dress bags and opens it up.   She's pulling out bondage gear, oops, my bad; she's getting ready to put on Klingon body armor. I have lost all preconceptions of what I was dealing with once Scarlett began stripping in front of me. She even gave me an appreciative smile and I was the one who was doing the appreciating! The little fuckers started going off. Remember, they don't like being moved and I was moving some around at the moment.   No, my legs and arms were perfectly still but my crotch was striking up a chorus, its Handel's Messiah. There was this 'still' moment where Victoria stopped opening her blouse and the three strangers regarding me through the webcam became mute; then the laughter began. Victoria resumed her stripping but she couldn't stop smiling and snickering slightly.   The three, the Klingon uber-cook or whatever she was and her two unknown accomplices, were laughing so hard they could barely communicate. It got better; when I was fully aroused and stopped moving around my pants, they didn't shut up and I was suddenly, desperately searching my mind to know how long that song was.   This was because Vic got down to her, Oh, fuck, this white thong, and calling it white is generous as it looks like someone stole an under-achieving spider's web and gently placed it over her crotch, and I know my hard-on was not going anywhere but into something before it went away.   Victoria was working her make-up on when two of the voices got themselves together enough to ask something. Vic looked up at the web-cam, over to me, then said a few sentences.   "So, which one of you likes your ankles placed behind your ears?" I politely asked in Thai.   "What was that, Brax' Zane?" Victoria asked.   "I'm curious if I can take your virginity with my tongue?" I continued in Thai.   "I cannot understand you," Victoria said again. "What are, ah, "   "I think we should engage the Federation citizen in the Galactic Basic," the second voice requested of the room. The third voice, the sleaze, said one more then in her native tongue, then the second voice, and Victoria jumped on her.   "I said, 'I think the native is getting restless'," sleazy girl grudgingly repeated. "Now, I think we should see if our plan 1.0 can be implemented."   "Before the scourges make themselves hoarse shrilling out the hellish noise or I lose patience, transport over there, and kill them myself," Dura growled playfully. I'm glad someone else was having fun. Victoria walked up and took a deep breath, which caused her well-disciplined, thirty-ish breasts to bounce tantalizingly close. Her look was desperately fearful yet almost childlike too.   "Kar'Thon, I desperately require your assistance before these creatures drive me mad," I tried to sound masculine yet pleading. On the computer screen, Dura quickly slammed her right fist to her right shoulder; I was later to learn that was a salute.   "This is no way for a Starfleet cadet to die," Victoria beamed at me, "even if I know I must someday slaughter you in battle." Whoa, I've never considered NASA as a career choice.   Maybe Klingon bondage gear/standard uniform could change my mind. The first person to tell me university life is boring I will punt to the Moon.   "I am T'Luminareth of the Vulcan Science Academy and Reserve member of the Starfleet Exploration Corps here," the second voice spoke up. I caught sight of a picture of her with this, troll? Or maybe a dwarf with the worst case of cauliflower ear ever. "I would like to assure you that every logical effort is being put forth on your behalf."   "Is that right, Tight Luminescence? Is it going to kill you to show a fellow sentient an ounce of compassion when you know he is about to suffer a fatal toxic shock from prolonged exposure to these vermin?" the third girl snarkily interjected into the conversation. "I'm Hical Cretak, Romulan freebooter and purveyor of ancient, exotic, and misunderstood goods."   "You are a thief, and since you aren't in some asteroid prison, you must be an above average one," I said to the Romulan. "I confess that I am a bit happier to see a member of the Vulcan Science Academy since, well, I'm suffering a splintered memory. Some things make perfect sense but large details are simply missing." I figured I could provide Victoria some good game.   She began rubbing my crotch and there was an effect alright, two in fact. The simple and expectant one was my trouser titan trying to unchain itself so it could get revenge on all of Victoria's orifices for taunting him so. My torturous tiny titmice began belting 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye. I think as an infant, I had a mobile playing this song in my crib.   I started to really admire T'Luminareth's acting ability because she alone kept it together. Victoria made larger and larger circles over my crotch up to my beltline while Dura and Hical lost it hysterically.   "Pssst," I murmured to Victoria. She looked at me and I darted my eyes toward her makeup kit and clothes. I am getting more clothes on her, why?   Besides, I'd gotten a better look at her suit and it didn't have a butt-zipper that said 'Come Get Some,' but those pants rolled down like a candy wrapper and that 'body armor' has a back flap. I'd have to get Rio a set and I doubted Victoria would deny me her armorer's number. I was definitely looking into getting Mercy a matching Orion Slave Girl outfit, and here people don't think I make constructive use of my time.   I was sure Victoria/Kar'Thon was breaking speed records to get herself ready while the other ladies began talking to me about a whole universe that was brand new to me. Getting three different and very conflicting versions of the rise of the Human-dominated Federation of Planets was amusing.   Out of the blue, T'Luminareth decided she was going to create a team to rapidly move to my planet and take me back for further study. Vor' Dora countered that and Hical gleefully sought out salvage rights for the wreckage of the two expeditions.   "That might not be possible," I intervened. "Some of what you've told me has fused some memories together." They all fell silent.   "At Starfleet Academy, an Engineering Team and a select group of cadets," I continued to fantasize, "were directed to work on a, phased ionic drive." Ion drive was 'old' tech, or so Hical had let slip. "The drive failed catastrophically and we couldn't save the impulse drive, power was failing, we couldn't transport. The phased ionic drive detonated in the planet's atmosphere, creating a trans-harmonic disruption. I don't know if there were other survivors of our vessel. I saw another vessel either investigating our explosion or attempting a rescue but they burned up on their approach," I looked pained. "I don't think I could communicate with them and the only survivor I could locate was Kar'Thon."   "Only a combination of our two vessels' technology has been able to punch a hole through the disruption and I'm not sure how long this effect will last." I now sounded grim but determined. "We probably need three things: We need to know if there were any special modifications to the Klingon Scout vessel because I don't think it was a standard model to get so close to an experimental Federation vessel."   "Secondly, someone needs to pry out of Starfleet the precise specifications of that vessel, and that's definitely not me," I confessed. "Finally, we need to find a way to fuse those two designs together because if Tribbles are already being affected by an increased magnetic field, how much longer do we have before even the planet's magnetic field collapses totally and we fry (a SciFi movie plot, thank you)."   Once more, there was silence and I was afraid I'd stepped way beyond my bounds. Only when I took in the masked facial expressions of Kar'Thon did I realize I'd done well. I was hit with the realization I was a word and a whisper away from having sex with her, she was so pleased with me.   "I have friends at Starfleet Academy and they might be able to shed a light on what their cadets were up to," T'Luminareth stated serenely, but I could see a fire in her eyes. "I will research into every work published on Phased Ionic Drives, and we may be forced to work on a theory of what went wrong in case Starfleet is not forthcoming."   "Not that I admit that the Klingon Empire ever had any such vessel operating in the area, Vor' Dura got out before Hical Cretak interrupted.   "You have an officer on the damn planet, you cowardly idiot," mocked Hical.   "I am a deserter," Kar'Thon declared. "I would say I was a 'scum of the Orion Colonies' but I found that you already claimed that title," she aimed at Hical.   "You must die, you traitorous dog," Dura jumped on the offered plum. Thon/Victoria wasn't a deserter but she was ready to take one for the team, so to speak. "The Klingon Empire cannot allow your stain on our honor to exist. Now that we finally have you pinned down, we are coming to end you once and for all, and if the Federation insists on harboring a traitor (we were theoretically in Federation space) then,   "I owe you a death, Vor' Dura," Thon seethed; "your death."   "You may not enter Federation space," T'Luminareth insisted.   "Before you two go to war, again, why don't you let me go in," Hical mediated. "I'm a free trader and have been to both Federation and Klingon planets."   "You are a spy," Vor' Dura growled.   "Being a successful agent doesn't make you any less of spy for your Romulan Senate," T'Luminareth seemed almost furious.   "Unfounded rumors started by my, Hical almost finished before the Tribbles screamed. Not as loud as they had for Ms. Black, but they now didn't like Thon around either, now that Victoria was a Klingon. Cordelia scares me; this time Hical had the little 'hiccup'.   "This is going to be fun," she chuckled, barely above a whisper.   "I will get these vermin no matter how much they hurt the frail human," Kar'Thon snarled, but Victoria's eyes blazed with fanatic amusement. I was mildly curious if she could even respond to her true name but decided not to test that. She pulled out a rather wicked looking knife that I had to double-take to make sure it was plastic.   The conversation went on around us as fictitious bits of data collided with innuendo, falsehoods, threats, and lies. This was roleplaying by some actors who took it as

ZOMBIES AND INSUBORDINATION. Pike and M'Benga go "off book" to find a flower to cure Captain Batel of her Gorn infection only to come across a research station now overrun by zombies. Complicating matters is the arrival of a Klingon woman on a question for vengeance. Meanwhile, Ortegas butts heads with Number One. Will Bryan & Kristen TREK, MARRY, or KILL this one? The grades begin at (15:27). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Worf's old flame shows up on the D, the tension gets thick. But once she gets his thicc Ds, Klingon honor bullshit insists that they're married. As several characters navigate being stuck between two different cultures, an old Klingon ship full of Japanese holdouts is about to wake up still believing they're at war. How do you even begin to bring them into the 24th Century? Well, we don't know because this episode isn't really about that. Visit our website at humanisttrek.com Support the show at patreon.com/humanisttrek Pick up your merch at humanisttrek.com/merch Socials Bluesky Mastodon Discord YouTube Thanks to: Star Trek Avatar Creation

Continuing Conversations: Starfleet in the 23rd Century! Announcing the newest supplement to the Star Trek Adventures 2e universe! Join writers  Aaron Pollyea, Al Spader, Sarah Kennedy, Chris McCarver, Bill Barbato, Michael Dismuke, and Jim Johnson as we get hype over all the goodness that came from the TOS, TAS, DIS, SNW, and Movie-era of Trek! https://linktr.ee/studiotembo 00:00:20 - Introductions of Michael, Jim, and Aaron 00:06:13 - Reimagining the Gorn in Star Trek 00:12:51 - Revisiting the original Star Trek series 00:15:56 - Speaker loves Discovery and Klingon redesigns 00:18:47 - Condensing Star Trek lore challenges 00:25:06 - Genesis project's political powder keg 00:30:45 - Distilling Star Trek's Century for RPGs 00:37:58 - Klingon and Romulan psychology across time 00:43:57 - Book focuses on entire century of Trek 00:49:40 - Gratitude to Peter David, Star Trek writer

When Captain Archer leads a dustbuster club onto the Xindi weapon, Tucker and T'Pol stay aboard the Entrepreneur to destroy the network of spheres. But after the Guardians serve up too much space queso and an old friend arrives to help, Archer blows up the weapon and disappears into a new story arc. Which siren song isn't that hard to resist? Who knows how to party like Klingon warriors? When is it clear that Hoshi is feeling better? It's the episode that explores our ambivalence towards florescent lights.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Anne-Marie and Peter cover TAS S1's The Time Trap. On the 30th the Orgs look at The Slaver Weapon. Over on their Borgcast Galactica feed on the 22nd, they give their thoughts on Babylon5's DEATHWALKER. The Star Trek Animated Series theme used was written by Ray Ellis and norm Prescott. Feel free to send your thoughts in (just keep the feedback to less than 5 minutes please). Borgcast@gmail.com

On this week's Mean Age Daydream, Brian can't believe the forthcoming "Star Trek: Academy" is so behind the times that it has a Klingon warrior in a skirt. Also: SCOTUS looks to strike down race based redistricting, and Home Depot launches a free trade training program. Care about your liberty and future? Don't miss the Expat Money Online Summit, October 10–12, hosted by Mikkel Thorup of the Expat Money Show. It's free to attend and features top experts on protecting wealth, securing second residencies, lowering taxes, and owning property abroad. Upgrade for lifetime replay access and VIP panels with promo code LIONS for 20% off at ⁠https://2025.expatmoneysummit.com/⁠ We have a new show on Lions of Liberty! The Politicks Podcast! Be sure to subscribe to the standalone Politicks Podcast feed. This is the absolute best way to support the show! Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And remember, they're all Blood Suckers! Help support what we do and grow our show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://patreon.com/lionsofliberty⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR support us on Locals! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://lionsofliberty.locals.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the all new FIRST EPISODE PODCAST! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/ENTS.... First Episode Pod on Rumble: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://rumble.com/c/c-5679432 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week's Mean Age Daydream, Brian can't believe the forthcoming "Star Trek: Academy" is so behind the times that it has a Klingon warrior in a skirt. Also: SCOTUS looks to strike down race based redistricting, and Home Depot launches a free trade training program. Care about your liberty and future? Don't miss the Expat Money Online Summit, October 10–12, hosted by Mikkel Thorup of the Expat Money Show. It's free to attend and features top experts on protecting wealth, securing second residencies, lowering taxes, and owning property abroad. Upgrade for lifetime replay access and VIP panels with promo code LIONS for 20% off at ⁠https://2025.expatmoneysummit.com/⁠ We have a new show on Lions of Liberty! The Politicks Podcast! Be sure to subscribe to the standalone Politicks Podcast feed. This is the absolute best way to support the show! Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And remember, they're all Blood Suckers! Help support what we do and grow our show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://patreon.com/lionsofliberty⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR support us on Locals! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://lionsofliberty.locals.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the all new FIRST EPISODE PODCAST! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/ENTS.... First Episode Pod on Rumble: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://rumble.com/c/c-5679432 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week's Mean Age Daydream, Brian can't believe the forthcoming "Star Trek: Academy" is so behind the times that it has a Klingon warrior in a skirt. Also: SCOTUS looks to strike down race based redistricting, and Home Depot launches a free trade training program.⁠ We have a new show on Lions of Liberty! The Politicks Podcast! Be sure to subscribe to the standalone Politicks Podcast feed. This is the absolute best way to support the show! Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And remember, they're all Blood Suckers! Help support what we do and grow our show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://patreon.com/lionsofliberty⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR support us on Locals! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://lionsofliberty.locals.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the all new FIRST EPISODE PODCAST! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/ENTS.... First Episode Pod on Rumble: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://rumble.com/c/c-5679432 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vicky Thinks that Worf will be bonding with a Klingon female but actually its way different then she thinks

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 00:15:00 GMT http://relay.fm/rd/271 http://relay.fm/rd/271 My System is Symmetrical 271 Merlin Mann and John Siracusa Main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? Main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? clean 5185 Subtitle: “Periscope up!”Main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? Links and Show Notes: John has Follow-Up on naked swimming as well as an update on his mystery beep. Merlin is increasingly concerned about his Lead, but it's a little late for that now. The main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? (Recorded on Tuesday, September 30, 2025) Credits Audio Editor: Jim Metzendorf Admin Assistance: Kerry Provenzano Music: Merlin Mann The Suits: Stephen Hackett, Myke Hurley Get an ad-free version of the show, plus a monthly extended episode. Reconcilable Differences #270: We Inflated Our PantsThis episode includes our members-only aftershow, free for everyone. How half the US lost part of their minds - YouTubeThis is the "lead in baby teeth" video. How artificial intelligence gave a paralyzed woman her voice back Meet the Little Brain Region that Helps You Say What's on Your Mind Scientists develop interface that “reads” thoughts from speech-impaired patients AlterEgo: Thought to text Aphantasia - Wikipedia Unified Modeling Language - Wikipedia The Rest Is History #604: Greek Myths: Sex, Drugs & Tragedy (Part 3) Lawrence M. Schoen - WikipediaNew College professor and Klingon language specialist from whom Merlin took a Mnemonics class. New Order - "The Beach" ('Blue Monday' remix, 1983) - YouTubeMerlin thinks this is how electric cars sound. Kraftwerk - "Uranium" (1975) - YouTubeSource of the sample used by New Order. Everything You Know About “Blue Monday” is Probably Wrong I New British Canon - YouTube Peg-word mnemonic - Oxford Referenceone is a bun, two is a shoe, three is a tree, four is a door, five is a hive, six is sticks, seven is heaven, eight is a gate, nine is wine, ten is a hen. Amazon.com: The Memory Book: The Classic Guide to Improving Your Memory at Work, at School, and at Play: 8580001059679: Lorayne, Harry, Lucas, Jerry: BooksMerlin couldn't remember the author of t

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 00:15:00 GMT http://relay.fm/rd/271 http://relay.fm/rd/271 Merlin Mann and John Siracusa Main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? Main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? clean 5185 Subtitle: “Periscope up!”Main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? Links and Show Notes: John has Follow-Up on naked swimming as well as an update on his mystery beep. Merlin is increasingly concerned about his Lead, but it's a little late for that now. The main topic is the various voices in our heads. If the technology existed to expose the workings of our interior world, what do we imagine it might look like? (Recorded on Tuesday, September 30, 2025) Credits Audio Editor: Jim Metzendorf Admin Assistance: Kerry Provenzano Music: Merlin Mann The Suits: Stephen Hackett, Myke Hurley Get an ad-free version of the show, plus a monthly extended episode. Reconcilable Differences #270: We Inflated Our PantsThis episode includes our members-only aftershow, free for everyone. How half the US lost part of their minds - YouTubeThis is the "lead in baby teeth" video. How artificial intelligence gave a paralyzed woman her voice back Meet the Little Brain Region that Helps You Say What's on Your Mind Scientists develop interface that “reads” thoughts from speech-impaired patients AlterEgo: Thought to text Aphantasia - Wikipedia Unified Modeling Language - Wikipedia The Rest Is History #604: Greek Myths: Sex, Drugs & Tragedy (Part 3) Lawrence M. Schoen - WikipediaNew College professor and Klingon language specialist from whom Merlin took a Mnemonics class. New Order - "The Beach" ('Blue Monday' remix, 1983) - YouTubeMerlin thinks this is how electric cars sound. Kraftwerk - "Uranium" (1975) - YouTubeSource of the sample used by New Order. Everything You Know About “Blue Monday” is Probably Wrong I New British Canon - YouTube Peg-word mnemonic - Oxford Referenceone is a bun, two is a shoe, three is a tree, four is a door, five is a hive, six is sticks, seven is heaven, eight is a gate, nine is wine, ten is a hen. Amazon.com: The Memory Book: The Classic Guide to Improving Your Memory at Work, at School, and at Play: 8580001059679: Lorayne, Harry, Lucas, Jerry: BooksMerlin couldn't

They may sound out of this world, but languages like Klingon and Na'vi were created right here on earth by linguists.

Wired magazine is convinced that it's only a matter of time before Elon Musk “has the keys to all of the rifle lockers in outer space.” Anyone know the Klingon phrase for “come and take them!?”

This episode originally broadcast on September 4, 2025. The original podcast post is here: https://pixelatedgeek.com/2025/09/binary-system-podcast-472-star-trek-lower-decks-and-wednesday-season-2-premiere/“We're not talking Uncanny Valley, we're talking Uncanny Grand Canyon.”In this week's Star Trek: Lower Decks recap we discuss Dr. Migleemo's attempt to cook for two food critics from Klowahka (…geddit? Cloaca? Bird butts? Cause they're birds? It is a very silly episode) while Mariner tries to get her Klingon buddy Ma'ah's captaincy back and Boilmer fanboys all over the place.Then Elizabeth briefly talks about the first episode of Wednesday season two, which is also a little silly but with really good production values and some impressive stunt casting.This segues into Kathryn trying to describe just how awful Asylum's knockoff Little Mermaid really is, and that leads to a long rant about AI, because, seriously, you guys, it's not saving you as much time as you think and the end result is so much worse. Also yes we're old GET OFF OUR LAWN.This episode's outro is a clip from Neon Route by Musinova.Looking for a present for that hard-to-shop-for person? Want to buy them (or yourself) a square foot of a castle in Scotland? Look no further! You can support the restoration of Dunan's castle, legally call yourself Lady or Laird, AND if you use this link to get there, you can support this podcast too! ScottishLaird.co.uk.For updates, fan art, and other randomness, come follow us on Facebook, Tumblr, and Instagram!

Creator of the Klingon LanguageMarc Okrand joins us for a fun conversation around how he came to work for the Star Trek franchise in creating the Klingon language! He shares some fantastic stories about how he got his first job, creating the dictionary, and even working the first closed-caption television event in TV history! Don't miss this exceptionally fascinating episode!This podcast is a proud part of the Trek Geeks Podcast Network and works hard to bring you great content from all over the science fiction universe. We would love to hear your feedback, suggestions, and ideas. Take a moment to send us an email at thebigscifipodcast@gmail.comTheme music for season 9 by Alex Guz - "Funky Ride" can be found at: https://pixabay.com/music/search/alexguz/Check our podcast out and learn more about the other great podcasts on the network by visiting trekgeeks.com.We've got the merch! If you want BIG Sci-Fi swag, check out this link and support us by wearing us everywhere you go! www.teepublic.com/thebigscifipodcastCheck out all of our social links in one place:https://linktr.ee/thebigscifipodcastCheck out Cris' amazing YouTube channel for Trek content galore:https://www.youtube.com/@yellingaboutstartrek1532Check out Brian's new book available at Amazon for Kindle and in paperback:https://www.amazon.com/stores/Brian-Donahue/author/B0C3BQ93VDSubscribe for free to Brian's Substack page where he writes original science fiction and fantasy: https://bdonahue.substack.com/Listen to Brian's music including his new brand new compilation album "My Story" at: https://www.reverbnation.com/765591/album/330256Find Adeena's books here: https://crazyrobot.myshopify.com/Follow her on Substack here: https://beyondthedroid.substack.com

Creator of the Klingon LanguageMarc Okrand joins us for a fun conversation around how he came to work for the Star Trek franchise in creating the Klingon language! He shares some fantastic stories about how he got his first job, creating the dictionary, and even working the first closed-caption television event in TV history! Don't miss this exceptionally fascinating episode!This podcast is a proud part of the Trek Geeks Podcast Network and works hard to bring you great content from all over the science fiction universe. We would love to hear your feedback, suggestions, and ideas. Take a moment to send us an email at thebigscifipodcast@gmail.comTheme music for season 9 by Alex Guz - "Funky Ride" can be found at: https://pixabay.com/music/search/alexguz/Check our podcast out and learn more about the other great podcasts on the network by visiting trekgeeks.com.We've got the merch! If you want BIG Sci-Fi swag, check out this link and support us by wearing us everywhere you go! www.teepublic.com/thebigscifipodcastCheck out all of our social links in one place:https://linktr.ee/thebigscifipodcastCheck out Cris' amazing YouTube channel for Trek content galore:https://www.youtube.com/@yellingaboutstartrek1532Check out Brian's new book available at Amazon for Kindle and in paperback:https://www.amazon.com/stores/Brian-Donahue/author/B0C3BQ93VDSubscribe for free to Brian's Substack page where he writes original science fiction and fantasy: https://bdonahue.substack.com/Listen to Brian's music including his new brand new compilation album "My Story" at: https://www.reverbnation.com/765591/album/330256Find Adeena's books here: https://crazyrobot.myshopify.com/Follow her on Substack here: https://beyondthedroid.substack.com

⭐Star Trek TOS Movie Reviews - Does B-G-B-G-B-G Hold Up⭐

Nerd Trek reviews DS9 S6E7 “You Are Cordially Invited,” diving into Worf & Jadzia's Klingon wedding, Martok's family traditions, and classic Star Trek humor.On this episode of The Nerd Trek Podcast, we review Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Season 6, Episode 7 — “You Are Cordially Invited.” Join us as we celebrate Worf and Jadzia Dax's unforgettable Klingon wedding, Martok's role in welcoming Dax into his House, and the culture clash between Federation formality and Klingon tradition. We break down the heartfelt moments, humor, and behind-the-scenes trivia, while exploring how this episode balances romance, comedy, and worldbuilding. A must-listen for DS9 fans and Trek completists!

Nerd Trek reviews DS9 S6E7 “You Are Cordially Invited,” diving into Worf & Jadzia's Klingon wedding, Martok's family traditions, and classic Star Trek humor.On this episode of The Nerd Trek Podcast, we review Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Season 6, Episode 7 — “You Are Cordially Invited.” Join us as we celebrate Worf and Jadzia Dax's unforgettable Klingon wedding, Martok's role in welcoming Dax into his House, and the culture clash between Federation formality and Klingon tradition. We break down the heartfelt moments, humor, and behind-the-scenes trivia, while exploring how this episode balances romance, comedy, and worldbuilding. A must-listen for DS9 fans and Trek completists!

Welcome to Captain's Pod, a Star Trek podcast presented by Ian and Deneé! Join the crew as Ian enjoys some intraship transporting, Deneé gets lost in Klingon lore, and David brings the audio clips!NEXT WEEK: The Original Series: The Enemy Within with Jonathan Watkins! (S1E5) 1) Ten Forward- Thoughts on the episode; what did the crew love and what can go out the airlock! (4:08) 2) The Observation Lounge/Captain's Yacht- The crew ponder YOUR Priority One transmissions from Twitch, Discord, and Email! (1:43:18) 3) The Jefferies Tubes- Bloopers and other goodies that didn't make it into the show. Don't tell Section 31! (1:51:44)FIND THE LOREHOUNDS:Podcast: https://redcircle.com/shows/the-lorehoundsWebsite: https://thelorehounds.com/Supercast: https://thelorehounds.supercast.com/Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/thelorehounds/homeWant early and ad-free access to the show PLUS other perks? Join the Tea-Flingers at the Ian and Deneé Patreon!https://www.patreon.com/iananddeneeJoin the live recording of the show! Wednesday 9/25 at 6pm CENTRAL!YouTube: https://youtube.com/@iananddenee?si=sAmifSnfaDWnJzDATwitch: https://www.twitch.tv/deneesaysConnect with us!Email: ian@iananddenee.comDiscord: https://discord.gg/UkZcjeYSYABluesky! The Show: @captainspod.bsky.socialIan: @whittsinned.bsky.socialDeneé: @deneesays.bsky.socialAnd live long and Podsper!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of Holodeck Divas we discuss the Star Trek - The Next Generation episode "A Matter of Honor" (s2e8). Stef and Chris love Klingons, so the thirst is real in this episode. Riker goes on a "student exchange program" and becomes the first officer on a Klingon ship, while the Enterprise receives a new crew member who vapes a lot. What do the divas think about this episode? Listen and find out!

eady your tricorders and sharpen your pencils—because we're breaking down “A Mathematically Perfect Redemption” in the Captains Quadrant Agony Booth! Join us as we explore every decimal point of humor, heart, and hidden Easter egg in this standout Lower Decks episode.

CCATP #821 for September 17, 2025, and I'm your host, Allison Sheridan. This week, our guest is a real throwback for the show. If you've been listening for a very long time, you may remember this guest as creating the best Honda Bob commercial of all time, where he performed it as a Klingon war commander. He's the man who coined the term for his own podcast, "Making technology work for you." He's brilliant, he's funny, he is, as my father used to say, "drilled off center". Please welcome back to the show after close to a decade-long absence, the one the only, Knightwise. Knightwise and I have stayed in contact over the years, sending texts back and forth here and there. This week he sent me a message asking for help finding a way to force macOS into letting his client view his MacBook Air's desktop (not speaker notes) while giving a presentation. I dug around, testing some ideas, and didn't succeed in helping him, but when he figured out a solution, he suggested coming on the show to tell us about the creative solutions he comes up with for his clients. A few links he talks about: BetterDisplay Pro on github.com/... knightwise.com/... "once in a while" writing and podcasting Co-owner of The Rangers at deRangers.be/... Look for Jo Hendriks on LinkedIn Read an unedited, auto-generated transcript with chapter marks: CCATP_2025_09_17 Join the Conversation: allison@podfeet.com podfeet.com/slack Support the Show: Patreon Donation Apple Pay or Credit Card one-time donation PayPal one-time donation Podfeet Podcasts Mugs at Zazzle NosillaCast 20th Anniversary Shirts Referral Links: Setapp - 1 month free for you and me PETLIBRO - 30% off for you and me Parallels Toolbox - 3 months free for you and me Learn through MacSparky Field Guides - 15% off for you and me Backblaze - One free month for me and you Eufy - $40 for me if you spend $200. Sadly nothing in it for you. PIA VPN - One month added to Paid Accounts for both of us CleanShot X - Earns me $25%, sorry nothing in it for you but my gratitude

CCATP #821 for September 17, 2025, and I'm your host, Allison Sheridan. This week, our guest is a real throwback for the show. If you've been listening for a very long time, you may remember this guest as creating the best Honda Bob commercial of all time, where he performed it as a Klingon war commander. He's the man who coined the term for his own podcast, "Making technology work for you." He's brilliant, he's funny, he is, as my father used to say, "drilled off center". Please welcome back to the show after close to a decade-long absence, the one the only, Knightwise. Knightwise and I have stayed in contact over the years, sending texts back and forth here and there. This week he sent me a message asking for help finding a way to force macOS into letting his client view his MacBook Air's desktop (not speaker notes) while giving a presentation. I dug around, testing some ideas, and didn't succeed in helping him, but when he figured out a solution, he suggested coming on the show to tell us about the creative solutions he comes up with for his clients. A few links he talks about: BetterDisplay Pro on github.com/... knightwise.com/... "once in a while" writing and podcasting Co-owner of The Rangers at deRangers.be/... Look for Jo Hendriks on LinkedIn Read an unedited, auto-generated transcript with chapter marks: CCATP_2025_09_17 Join the Conversation: allison@podfeet.com podfeet.com/slack Support the Show: Patreon Donation Apple Pay or Credit Card one-time donation PayPal one-time donation Podfeet Podcasts Mugs at Zazzle NosillaCast 20th Anniversary Shirts Referral Links: Setapp - 1 month free for you and me PETLIBRO - 30% off for you and me Parallels Toolbox - 3 months free for you and me Learn through MacSparky Field Guides - 15% off for you and me Backblaze - One free month for me and you Eufy - $40 for me if you spend $200. Sadly nothing in it for you. PIA VPN - One month added to Paid Accounts for both of us CleanShot X - Earns me $25%, sorry nothing in it for you but my gratitude

Star Trek Strange New Worlds Season 3: Episode 362 - We boldly go where we've gone many times before as your hosts return to their favorite subject - Star Trek! The third season of Strange New Worlds has come and gone, so now we have the delightful task of recording our thoughts and sharing them with you, dear listeners (hopefully not through a mind meld). Is the show hitting greater heights than ever? Or preparing for a crash landing? Tune in to find out on Normies Like Us! Insta: @NormiesLikeUs https://www.instagram.com/normieslikeus/ @jacob https://www.instagram.com/jacob/ @MikeHasInsta https://www.instagram.com/mikehasinsta/ https://letterboxd.com/BabblingBrooksy/ https://letterboxd.com/hobbes72/ https://letterboxd.com/mikejromans/

This episode was recorded on June 29, 2025.We recap "Soldiers of the Empire" and discuss Klingon pain and vulnerability.SDS9 seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 can be found wherever you stream Southpaw. Season 6 is only available to paid subscribers: ⁠https://www.southpawpod.com/⁠

In the Star Trek: Voyager episode Prophecy, after decades adrift in the Delta Quadrant, a Klingon generation ship crosses paths with Voyager and finds what they've been looking for: a prophesied savior. Or rather, the unborn child of B'Elanna and Tom. Cue the ceremonial declarations, theological debates, and one very reluctant bat'leth duel. But when the Doctor uncovers a life-threatening illness among the Klingons, prophecy gives way to science, and that same baby might still be the key to salvation. Mission Log meets “Prophecy.” Hosted by John Champion and Norman Lao MISSION LOG SURVEY: Take the survey NOW and you could win rare, original TOS film cells! Welcome to Mission Log, a Roddenberry Entertainment podcast, where we explore the Star Trek universe one episode at a time. Each week, Mission Log examines a single episode of Star Trek, diving into its ethical subtext, metaphors, and cultural significance. From the show's most iconic moments to its hidden gems, we analyze what makes Star Trek one of the greatest science fiction sagas of all time. In every episode of Mission Log we… Recap the story and analyze key moments. Discuss the morals, messages, and meanings of the dilemmas presented. Debate whether the episode holds up and if the themes are still relevant. Join the Conversation: For as little as $1 a month, you can gain access to our exclusive Discord Community! There, we continue the discussion with dedicated channels and  weekly video chats with the hosts. Become a member of our Patreon today! https://www.Patreon.com/MissionLog SPECIAL THANKS the supporters of this week's show: Chris Garis, Julie Miller, Stuart, Michael Park, Paul Shadwell, Matt Esposito, Alan Simonis, Mike Richards, David Takechi, Mike Schiable, VADM Erickson, and Lars Seme Thanks to all of our Patreon Supporters https://www.missionlogpodcast.com/sponsors/ Want to share your thoughts on an upcoming episode? Email us at MissionLog@Roddenberry.com for a chance to be featured during the episode. Follow us on Social Media: INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/RoddenberryEntertainment THREADS https://www.threads.net/@roddenberrypodcasts FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/MissionLogPod Did you know we're on YouTube? Find the video versions of your favorite shows like Mission Log: Prodigy, The Orville, as well as exclusive content only available on YouTube. Subscribe now:  https://www.youtube.com/@RoddenberryEntertainment?sub_confirmation=1 Our shows are part of the Roddenberry Entertainment family. For more great shows and to learn more about how we live the legacy of Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, follow us here: RODDENBERRY PODCASTS https://www.instagram.com/roddenberrypodcasts RODDENBERRY ENTERTAINMENT https://www.instagram.com/roddenberryofficial THE RODDENBERRY FOUNDATION https://www.instagram.com/theroddenberryfoundation   THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Listeners like you - Support Mission Log on Patreon for early access to shows and the Mission Log Discord! Subscribe and Stay Updated: Never miss an episode! Subscribe on your preferred podcast player, leave a review, and join Mission Log on the journey of weekly deep dives into the Star Trek universe. Technical Director - Earl Green Producer - John Champion Associate Producer - Jessica Lynn Verdi Executive Producer - Eugene “Rod” Roddenberry Roddenberry Entertainment | All Rights Reserved

It's our season 7 premiere! Illustrator, cartoonist, and author Gemma Correll joins Sean to talk about her design mistakes, as well as Beano's "Attitude" era, copying the Old Masters, and Patience & Fortitude.You can find all of Gemma's work, including her books and other merch, on the web at gemmacorrell.com! The Worrier's Guide to Life is the perfect companion to this episode, and a great gift for any Starfleet officers in your life who also happen to be Klingon. You can also follow Gemma as @gemmacorrell on Instagram, Facebook, and tons more platforms to see her comics!This is our seventh season premiere, and if you're new to the show, this is a great time to get on board! We'll have new episodes through mid-December, so stick around wherever you heard it, or visit dididothat.design to see more options.Upcoming Live Events:LOS ANGELES: AIGA Design Conference 2025: October 9–11 at the Westin Bonaventure LA. Listeners of this show can use offer code 25DIDIDOTHAT15 to take 15% off your registration! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the Star Trek: Voyager episode Prophecy, after decades adrift in the Delta Quadrant, a Klingon generation ship crosses paths with Voyager and finds what they've been looking for: a prophesied savior. Or rather, the unborn child of B'Elanna and Tom. Cue the ceremonial declarations, theological debates, and one very reluctant bat'leth duel. But when the Doctor uncovers a life-threatening illness among the Klingons, prophecy gives way to science, and that same baby might still be the key to salvation. Mission Log meets “Prophecy.” Hosted by John Champion and Norman Lao MISSION LOG SURVEY: Take the survey NOW and you could win rare, original TOS film cells! Welcome to Mission Log, a Roddenberry Entertainment podcast, where we explore the Star Trek universe one episode at a time. Each week, Mission Log examines a single episode of Star Trek, diving into its ethical subtext, metaphors, and cultural significance. From the show's most iconic moments to its hidden gems, we analyze what makes Star Trek one of the greatest science fiction sagas of all time. In every episode of Mission Log we… Recap the story and analyze key moments. Discuss the morals, messages, and meanings of the dilemmas presented. Debate whether the episode holds up and if the themes are still relevant. Join the Conversation: For as little as $1 a month, you can gain access to our exclusive Discord Community! There, we continue the discussion with dedicated channels and  weekly video chats with the hosts. Become a member of our Patreon today! https://www.Patreon.com/MissionLog SPECIAL THANKS the supporters of this week's show: Chris Garis, Julie Miller, Stuart, Michael Park, Paul Shadwell, Matt Esposito, Alan Simonis, Mike Richards, David Takechi, Mike Schiable, VADM Erickson, and Lars Seme Thanks to all of our Patreon Supporters https://www.missionlogpodcast.com/sponsors/ Want to share your thoughts on an upcoming episode? Email us at MissionLog@Roddenberry.com for a chance to be featured during the episode. Follow us on Social Media: INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/RoddenberryEntertainment THREADS https://www.threads.net/@roddenberrypodcasts FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/MissionLogPod Did you know we're on YouTube? Find the video versions of your favorite shows like Mission Log: Prodigy, The Orville, as well as exclusive content only available on YouTube. Subscribe now:  https://www.youtube.com/@RoddenberryEntertainment?sub_confirmation=1 Our shows are part of the Roddenberry Entertainment family. For more great shows and to learn more about how we live the legacy of Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, follow us here: RODDENBERRY PODCASTS https://www.instagram.com/roddenberrypodcasts RODDENBERRY ENTERTAINMENT https://www.instagram.com/roddenberryofficial THE RODDENBERRY FOUNDATION https://www.instagram.com/theroddenberryfoundation   THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Listeners like you - Support Mission Log on Patreon for early access to shows and the Mission Log Discord! Subscribe and Stay Updated: Never miss an episode! Subscribe on your preferred podcast player, leave a review, and join Mission Log on the journey of weekly deep dives into the Star Trek universe. Technical Director - Earl Green Producer - John Champion Associate Producer - Jessica Lynn Verdi Executive Producer - Eugene “Rod” Roddenberry Roddenberry Entertainment | All Rights Reserved

In the Star Trek: Voyager episode Prophecy, after decades adrift in the Delta Quadrant, a Klingon generation ship crosses paths with Voyager and finds what they've been looking for: a prophesied savior. Or rather, the unborn child of B'Elanna and Tom. Cue the ceremonial declarations, theological debates, and one very reluctant bat'leth duel. But when the Doctor uncovers a life-threatening illness among the Klingons, prophecy gives way to science, and that same baby might still be the key to salvation. Mission Log meets “Prophecy.” Hosted by John Champion and Norman Lao MISSION LOG SURVEY: Take the survey NOW and you could win rare, original TOS film cells! Welcome to Mission Log, a Roddenberry Entertainment podcast, where we explore the Star Trek universe one episode at a time. Each week, Mission Log examines a single episode of Star Trek, diving into its ethical subtext, metaphors, and cultural significance. From the show's most iconic moments to its hidden gems, we analyze what makes Star Trek one of the greatest science fiction sagas of all time. In every episode of Mission Log we… Recap the story and analyze key moments. Discuss the morals, messages, and meanings of the dilemmas presented. Debate whether the episode holds up and if the themes are still relevant. Join the Conversation: For as little as $1 a month, you can gain access to our exclusive Discord Community! There, we continue the discussion with dedicated channels and  weekly video chats with the hosts. Become a member of our Patreon today! https://www.Patreon.com/MissionLog SPECIAL THANKS the supporters of this week's show: Chris Garis, Julie Miller, Stuart, Michael Park, Paul Shadwell, Matt Esposito, Alan Simonis, Mike Richards, David Takechi, Mike Schiable, VADM Erickson, and Lars Seme Thanks to all of our Patreon Supporters https://www.missionlogpodcast.com/sponsors/ Want to share your thoughts on an upcoming episode? Email us at MissionLog@Roddenberry.com for a chance to be featured during the episode. Follow us on Social Media: INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/RoddenberryEntertainment THREADS https://www.threads.net/@roddenberrypodcasts FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/MissionLogPod Did you know we're on YouTube? Find the video versions of your favorite shows like Mission Log: Prodigy, The Orville, as well as exclusive content only available on YouTube. Subscribe now:  https://www.youtube.com/@RoddenberryEntertainment?sub_confirmation=1 Our shows are part of the Roddenberry Entertainment family. For more great shows and to learn more about how we live the legacy of Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, follow us here: RODDENBERRY PODCASTS https://www.instagram.com/roddenberrypodcasts RODDENBERRY ENTERTAINMENT https://www.instagram.com/roddenberryofficial THE RODDENBERRY FOUNDATION https://www.instagram.com/theroddenberryfoundation   THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Listeners like you - Support Mission Log on Patreon for early access to shows and the Mission Log Discord! Subscribe and Stay Updated: Never miss an episode! Subscribe on your preferred podcast player, leave a review, and join Mission Log on the journey of weekly deep dives into the Star Trek universe. Technical Director - Earl Green Producer - John Champion Associate Producer - Jessica Lynn Verdi Executive Producer - Eugene “Rod” Roddenberry Roddenberry Entertainment | All Rights Reserved

It's All Been Trekked Before #435  Season 13, Episode 36  Star Trek: Voyager #1.13 "Faces"    Jimmy-Jerome thinks Roxann excels in this role. Stephen falls in love… twice. Keith is still processing.    Edited by Jerome Wetzel, with assistance from Resound.fm   It's All Been Trekked Before is produced by IABD Presents entertainment network. http://iabdpresents.com Please support us at http://pateron.com/iabd Follow us on social media @IABDPresents and https://www.facebook.com/ItsAllBeenTrekkedBefore

Episode Notes Ferengi Love Songs: Rene has found his niche: horny Ferengi. Starfleet pest control is... interesting. Time to visit Moogie! Strangest thing to find in your childhood closet? Wait, how big is this closet?? Brunt is a Sovereign class hater. The one place where the Ferengi>America analogy falls down in the 21st century is that they don't generally shoot people to solve problems. The gang makes Aaron produce a new sound effect. The Ferengi market must be incredible volatile. O'Brien makes other people suffer. Odo turns his inner cop into community work. Soldiers of the Empire: We've been in Nog's shoes. Klingons would love anime. Time for some Klingon weeb bullshit. Dax is a better Klingon than Worf. Martok is acting weird. Worf puts over Martok by taking a knife to the kidney. Martok gets his groove back, and Worf gets a new house. Some more Klingon thoughts. DS9 is the rare show without much rivalry in female friendships. A divergence into Dragonriders of Pern. BabSpace9 is a production of the Okay, So network. Connect with the show at @babylonpod.page Help us keep the lights on via our Patreon! Justen can be found at @justen.babylonpod.page Ana can be found at @ana.babylonpod.page, and also made our show art. Both Ana and Justen can also be found on The Compleat Discography, a Discworld re-read podcast. Jude Vais can be found at @jude.athrabeth.com. His other work can be found at Athrabeth - a Tolkien Podcast and at Garbage of the Five Rings. Clips from the original show remain copyrighted by Paramount Entertainment and are used under the Fair Use doctrine. Music attribution: Original reworking of the Deep Space 9 theme by audioquinn, who stresses that this particular war crime is not their fault. This show is edited and produced by Aaron Olson, who can be found at @aaron.compleatdiscography.page Find out more at http://babylonpod.page

STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (1979)—When a mysterious and massive alien cloud destroys several Klingon ships and heads straight for Earth, Admiral James T. Kirk resumes command of the newly refitted USS Enterprise. Joined by his familiar crew and new science officer, Kirk must unravel the nature of the powerful entity known as V'Ger. What … Continue reading Ep. 08-05: Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) & Star Trek: Nemesis (2002) →

First: Reform is naff – and that's why people like itGareth Roberts warns this week that ‘the Overton window is shifting' but in a very unexpected way. Nigel Farage is ahead in the polls – not only because his party is ‘bracingly right-wing', but ‘because Reform is camp'. Farage offers what Britain wants: ‘a cheeky, up-yours, never-mind-the-knockers revolt against our agonisingly earnest political masters'.‘From Farage on down,' Roberts argues, ‘there is a glorious kind of naffness' to Reform: daytime-TV aesthetics, ‘bargain-basement' celebrities and big-breasted local councillors. ‘The progressive activists thought they could win the culture war simply by saying they had won it', but ‘the John Bulls and Greasy Joans are stirring again'. Roberts loves how ‘the current excitement over flag-raising' is the ‘conniptions' it gives to ‘the FBPE crowd'. Of course, for Farage, planning for government ‘really cannot be a pantomime affair'. But ‘in these grim times' we ‘need the romping Reform'. Gareth joins the podcast to make his case for Carry On Reform.Next: the ‘she' consumed by masculine rageLionel Shriver reacts to the latest school shooting in America. The perpetrator was widely reported in the media with the pronouns ‘she/her' which, Lionel argues, is not just an issue around politeness. This glosses over the fact that the shooter was biologically male, adding to the majority of cases of school shootings that are conducting by men. By pandering to this incoherence of the reality of the situation, it doesn't help society to uncover the reasons behind the issue.Lionel joined the podcast alongside the Spectator's US editor Freddy Gray. Freddy points out how this shooting is just one example of how younger people can be transfixed by the very darkest sides of the internet.And finally: why people make up languages Constructed language expert Dr Bettina Beinhoff and author and historian Peter Parker join the podcast to talk about ‘made-up' languages. Why do humans construct languages outside of their every-day speech? Most people will have heard of Klingon or Elvish, used in books and film, but what about Polari – the subversive language used by groups of LGBT people decades ago – or the Potato language – which writer Melanie Ferbreach says her parents used to hide their conversations from her. Listeners may be impressed to hear Lara's own attempt at 'eggy-peggy'...Plus: with a special introduction from our political editor, Tim Shipman interviews shadow justice secretary Robert Jenrick – is he trying to outflank Farage? Hosted by William Moore and Lara Prendergast.Produced by Patrick Gibbons and Natasha Feroze. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here's what we cover in this episode of Talking Trek Live: 00:05:20 — New Battle Pass & First Impressions “We've got a brand-new battle pass tonight, and I promise you, we're keeping it quick and clean.” 00:06:30 — Unity Engine Update & Player Impact “So they flipped the switch to Unity 6, and suddenly half the galaxy can't log in anymore.” 00:09:15 — DJz Comedy Take on Unity “They ran out of Unity 5 in the stockroom, so the IT guy handed them Unity 6 and said, ‘Hold my beer.'” 00:12:40 — Spox.club Devs Join the Stage “The geniuses behind Spox Club, LightBulb and Glare, are here to show us what they've been cooking.” 00:15:00 — Resource Alerts Feature Demo “Now you can set an alert so the game tells you when you're running low — instead of finding out the hard way.” 00:20:30 — Upgrade Thresholds & Planning Tools “This thing literally tells me when I finally have enough to build my next ship. That's game-changing.” 00:29:50 — Future of Notifications & App Sync “Right now it'll ping you on the site, but the vision is push notifications straight to your phone.” 00:32:10 — Requirements Calculator & Long-Term Planning “It lays out everything you need for shipyard upgrades or tiering up — down to the last piece of ore.” 00:41:00 — Daily Loop Organization “This isn't just a tool — it's my to-do list for the game. A real loop organizer.” 00:42:10 — Mission Tracking Feature Reveal “Over a thousand missions tracked, with a clear view of what you've finished and what's still waiting.” 00:47:40 — Practical Uses for Mission Tracking “I've got 57 Klingon missions left undone… and that's probably my missing rep right there.” 00:53:00 — Looking Ahead: v2 of Spox.club “This is just the beginning — the next version will be a true one-stop shop for players.” 01:04:20 — Alliance Management Tools “Imagine being able to see alliance contributions and coordinate upgrades without spreadsheets.” 01:16:10 — Event Calendar & Planning Features “This calendar lines up game events so you can finally prep instead of react.” 01:25:45 — Mid-Show Q&A with Players “We love when you throw curveball questions — keeps us sharp, and sometimes even stumps the devs.” 01:38:20 — Community Feedback on Spox.club “Hearing you all say ‘this saves me hours every week' — that's why the devs built it.” 01:52:00 — Deep Dive into Ship Progression “Tracking every requirement step turns shipbuilding from a guessing game into a checklist.” 02:07:40 — Economy Balance & Resource Concerns “At the end of the day, if the math doesn't work, no tool can save you — and that's on Scopely.” 02:21:10 — Wrapping Up Player Questions “We don't have all the answers, but the conversation makes the game better for everybody.” 02:34:00 — Closing Thoughts from the Devs “Version 2 is coming fast, and we're listening to every suggestion you're giving us.” Thanks for listening and hanging out with Talking Trek Live!

First: Reform is naff – and that's why people like itGareth Roberts warns this week that ‘the Overton window is shifting' but in a very unexpected way. Nigel Farage is ahead in the polls – not only because his party is ‘bracingly right-wing', but ‘because Reform is camp'. Farage offers what Britain wants: ‘a cheeky, up-yours, never-mind-the-knockers revolt against our agonisingly earnest political masters'.‘From Farage on down,' Roberts argues, ‘there is a glorious kind of naffness' to Reform: daytime-TV aesthetics, ‘bargain-basement' celebrities and big-breasted local councillors. ‘The progressive activists thought they could win the culture war simply by saying they had won it', but ‘the John Bulls and Greasy Joans are stirring again'. Roberts loves how ‘the current excitement over flag-raising' is the ‘conniptions' it gives to ‘the FBPE crowd'. Of course, for Farage, planning for government ‘really cannot be a pantomime affair'. But ‘in these grim times' we ‘need the romping Reform'. Gareth joins the podcast to make his case for Carry On Reform.Next: the ‘she' consumed by masculine rageLionel Shriver reacts to the latest school shooting in America. The perpetrator was widely reported in the media with the pronouns ‘she/her' which, Lionel argues, is not just an issue around politeness. This glosses over the fact that the shooter was biologically male, adding to the majority of cases of school shootings that are conducting by men. By pandering to this incoherence of the reality of the situation, it doesn't help society to uncover the reasons behind the issue.Lionel joined the podcast alongside the Spectator's US editor Freddy Gray. Freddy points out how this shooting is just one example of how younger people can be transfixed by the very darkest sides of the internet.And finally: why people make up languages Constructed language expert Dr Bettina Beinhoff and author and historian Peter Parker join the podcast to talk about ‘made-up' languages. Why do humans construct languages outside of their every-day speech? Most people will have heard of Klingon or Elvish, used in books and film, but what about Polari – the subversive language used by groups of LGBT people decades ago – or the Potato language – which writer Melanie Ferbreach says her parents used to hide their conversations from her. Listeners may be impressed to hear Lara's own attempt at 'eggy-peggy'...Plus: with a special introduction from our political editor, Tim Shipman interviews shadow justice secretary Robert Jenrick – is he trying to outflank Farage? Hosted by William Moore and Lara Prendergast.Produced by Patrick Gibbons and Natasha Feroze.Become a Spectator subscriber today to access this podcast without adverts. Go to spectator.co.uk/adfree to find out more.For more Spectator podcasts, go to spectator.co.uk/podcasts. Contact us: podcast@spectator.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's that time of year again! We're right around our anniversary so we've cracked open our noggins and brought you more of our trademark fanfics in our trademark styles! It's the "Discovery" crew's turn to be our weird little puppets, and we've not only wound up with a Mudd trio, but our first-ever total character choice overlap! So settle in for some very noncanonical tales by your favorite "Trek" talkers! This week: improving a joke, singing a song, and K is for Klingon! Caitlin: 02:46; https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/793707033641795584/tales-from-the-holodeck-dis-fanfic-caitlins Jake: 10:15; https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/793707127836442624/tales-from-the-holodeck-dis-fanfic-jakes Chris: 39:25; https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/793707155887931392/tales-from-the-holodeck-dis-fanfic-chriss Ames: 1:05:58; https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/793707364967727104/tales-from-the-holodeck-dis-fanfic-amess

“We’re not talking Uncanny Valley, we’re talking Uncanny Grand Canyon.” In this week’s Star Trek: Lower Decks recap we discuss Dr. Migleemo’s attempt to cook for two food critics from Klowahka (…geddit? Cloaca? Bird butts? Cause they’re birds? It is a very silly episode) while Mariner tries to get her Klingon buddy Ma’ah’s captaincy back... The post Binary System Podcast #472 – Star Trek: Lower Decks and Wednesday season 2 premiere first appeared on Pixelated Geek.

In the Star Trek: Voyager episode Lineage, B'Elanna and Tom get the life-changing news that they're going to be parents. But joy quickly gives way to fear as B'Elanna confronts the pain of her past: her father's abandonment, her isolation, and the shame she felt about her Klingon heritage. Convinced she's sparing her child from pain, she attempts to re-engineer her daughter's DNA without telling Tom. But where's the line between protecting your child and erasing who they are? Mission Log weighs the science, the choices, and the consequences in Lineage. Hosted by John Champion and Norman Lao Welcome to Mission Log, a Roddenberry Entertainment podcast, where we explore the Star Trek universe one episode at a time. Each week, Mission Log examines a single episode of Star Trek, diving into its ethical subtext, metaphors, and cultural significance. From the show's most iconic moments to its hidden gems, we analyze what makes Star Trek one of the greatest science fiction sagas of all time. In every episode of Mission Log we… Recap the story and analyze key moments. Discuss the morals, messages, and meanings of the dilemmas presented. Debate whether the episode holds up and if the themes are still relevant. Join the Conversation: For as little as $1 a month, you can gain access to our exclusive Discord Community! There, we continue the discussion with dedicated channels and  weekly video chats with the hosts. Become a member of our Patreon today! https://www.Patreon.com/MissionLog SPECIAL THANKS the supporters of this week's show: Chris Garis, Julie Miller, Stuart, Michael Park, Paul Shadwell, Matt Esposito, Alan Simonis, Mike Richards, David Takechi, Mike Schiable, VADM Erickson, and Lars Seme Thanks to all of our Patreon Supporters https://www.missionlogpodcast.com/sponsors/ Want to share your thoughts on an upcoming episode? Email us at MissionLog@Roddenberry.com for a chance to be featured during the episode. Follow us on Social Media: INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/RoddenberryEntertainment THREADS https://www.threads.net/@roddenberrypodcasts FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/MissionLogPod Did you know we're on YouTube? Find the video versions of your favorite shows like Mission Log: Prodigy, The Orville, as well as exclusive content only available on YouTube. Subscribe now:  https://www.youtube.com/@RoddenberryEntertainment?sub_confirmation=1 Our shows are part of the Roddenberry Entertainment family. For more great shows and to learn more about how we live the legacy of Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, follow us here: RODDENBERRY PODCASTS https://www.instagram.com/roddenberrypodcasts RODDENBERRY ENTERTAINMENT https://www.instagram.com/roddenberryofficial THE RODDENBERRY FOUNDATION https://www.instagram.com/theroddenberryfoundation   THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Listeners like you - Support Mission Log on Patreon for early access to shows and the Mission Log Discord! Subscribe and Stay Updated: Never miss an episode! Subscribe on your preferred podcast player, leave a review, and join Mission Log on the journey of weekly deep dives into the Star Trek universe. Technical Director - Earl Green Producer - John Champion Associate Producer - Jessica Lynn Verdi Executive Producer - Eugene “Rod” Roddenberry Roddenberry Entertainment | All Rights Reserved

In the Star Trek: Voyager episode Lineage, B'Elanna and Tom get the life-changing news that they're going to be parents. But joy quickly gives way to fear as B'Elanna confronts the pain of her past: her father's abandonment, her isolation, and the shame she felt about her Klingon heritage. Convinced she's sparing her child from pain, she attempts to re-engineer her daughter's DNA without telling Tom. But where's the line between protecting your child and erasing who they are? Mission Log weighs the science, the choices, and the consequences in Lineage. Hosted by John Champion and Norman Lao Welcome to Mission Log, a Roddenberry Entertainment podcast, where we explore the Star Trek universe one episode at a time. Each week, Mission Log examines a single episode of Star Trek, diving into its ethical subtext, metaphors, and cultural significance. From the show's most iconic moments to its hidden gems, we analyze what makes Star Trek one of the greatest science fiction sagas of all time. In every episode of Mission Log we… Recap the story and analyze key moments. Discuss the morals, messages, and meanings of the dilemmas presented. Debate whether the episode holds up and if the themes are still relevant. Join the Conversation: For as little as $1 a month, you can gain access to our exclusive Discord Community! There, we continue the discussion with dedicated channels and  weekly video chats with the hosts. Become a member of our Patreon today! https://www.Patreon.com/MissionLog SPECIAL THANKS the supporters of this week's show: Chris Garis, Julie Miller, Stuart, Michael Park, Paul Shadwell, Matt Esposito, Alan Simonis, Mike Richards, David Takechi, Mike Schiable, VADM Erickson, and Lars Seme Thanks to all of our Patreon Supporters https://www.missionlogpodcast.com/sponsors/ Want to share your thoughts on an upcoming episode? Email us at MissionLog@Roddenberry.com for a chance to be featured during the episode. Follow us on Social Media: INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/RoddenberryEntertainment THREADS https://www.threads.net/@roddenberrypodcasts FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/MissionLogPod Did you know we're on YouTube? Find the video versions of your favorite shows like Mission Log: Prodigy, The Orville, as well as exclusive content only available on YouTube. Subscribe now:  https://www.youtube.com/@RoddenberryEntertainment?sub_confirmation=1 Our shows are part of the Roddenberry Entertainment family. For more great shows and to learn more about how we live the legacy of Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, follow us here: RODDENBERRY PODCASTS https://www.instagram.com/roddenberrypodcasts RODDENBERRY ENTERTAINMENT https://www.instagram.com/roddenberryofficial THE RODDENBERRY FOUNDATION https://www.instagram.com/theroddenberryfoundation   THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Listeners like you - Support Mission Log on Patreon for early access to shows and the Mission Log Discord! Subscribe and Stay Updated: Never miss an episode! Subscribe on your preferred podcast player, leave a review, and join Mission Log on the journey of weekly deep dives into the Star Trek universe. Technical Director - Earl Green Producer - John Champion Associate Producer - Jessica Lynn Verdi Executive Producer - Eugene “Rod” Roddenberry Roddenberry Entertainment | All Rights Reserved

In the Star Trek: Voyager episode Lineage, B'Elanna and Tom get the life-changing news that they're going to be parents. But joy quickly gives way to fear as B'Elanna confronts the pain of her past: her father's abandonment, her isolation, and the shame she felt about her Klingon heritage. Convinced she's sparing her child from pain, she attempts to re-engineer her daughter's DNA without telling Tom. But where's the line between protecting your child and erasing who they are? Mission Log weighs the science, the choices, and the consequences in Lineage. Hosted by John Champion and Norman Lao Welcome to Mission Log, a Roddenberry Entertainment podcast, where we explore the Star Trek universe one episode at a time. Each week, Mission Log examines a single episode of Star Trek, diving into its ethical subtext, metaphors, and cultural significance. From the show's most iconic moments to its hidden gems, we analyze what makes Star Trek one of the greatest science fiction sagas of all time. In every episode of Mission Log we… Recap the story and analyze key moments. Discuss the morals, messages, and meanings of the dilemmas presented. Debate whether the episode holds up and if the themes are still relevant. Join the Conversation: For as little as $1 a month, you can gain access to our exclusive Discord Community! There, we continue the discussion with dedicated channels and  weekly video chats with the hosts. Become a member of our Patreon today! https://www.Patreon.com/MissionLog SPECIAL THANKS the supporters of this week's show: Chris Garis, Julie Miller, Stuart, Michael Park, Paul Shadwell, Matt Esposito, Alan Simonis, Mike Richards, David Takechi, Mike Schiable, VADM Erickson, and Lars Seme Thanks to all of our Patreon Supporters https://www.missionlogpodcast.com/sponsors/ Want to share your thoughts on an upcoming episode? Email us at MissionLog@Roddenberry.com for a chance to be featured during the episode. Follow us on Social Media: INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/RoddenberryEntertainment THREADS https://www.threads.net/@roddenberrypodcasts FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/MissionLogPod Did you know we're on YouTube? Find the video versions of your favorite shows like Mission Log: Prodigy, The Orville, as well as exclusive content only available on YouTube. Subscribe now:  https://www.youtube.com/@RoddenberryEntertainment?sub_confirmation=1 Our shows are part of the Roddenberry Entertainment family. For more great shows and to learn more about how we live the legacy of Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, follow us here: RODDENBERRY PODCASTS https://www.instagram.com/roddenberrypodcasts RODDENBERRY ENTERTAINMENT https://www.instagram.com/roddenberryofficial THE RODDENBERRY FOUNDATION https://www.instagram.com/theroddenberryfoundation   THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Listeners like you - Support Mission Log on Patreon for early access to shows and the Mission Log Discord! Subscribe and Stay Updated: Never miss an episode! Subscribe on your preferred podcast player, leave a review, and join Mission Log on the journey of weekly deep dives into the Star Trek universe. Technical Director - Earl Green Producer - John Champion Associate Producer - Jessica Lynn Verdi Executive Producer - Eugene “Rod” Roddenberry Roddenberry Entertainment | All Rights Reserved

Ever wanted to see Worf's feet? Good news, shrimpers, because they are on display in “Ethics”! That's right! It's an all-new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast, and it's coming at you right about . . . NOW!We've seen Worf battle all manner of Galaxy-class opponents--from Romulans to Ferengi to Borg--but in this episode, he meets his greatest enemy! BARRELS! Giant ass barrels filled with space stuff that fall off a shelf and crush his spine! Ouch! Good thing it's the 24th century, so they can wave a glow wand at him and fix him right up. Except they can't because no one has ever bothered to heal a sick Klingon. Seems those ridge-headed nuts prefer to commit ritual suicide rather than live with any limited mobility. Worf requests Riker's assistance in the ritual, putting their friendship to the ultimate test along with Riker's cultural sensitivity. The tension gets tenser when Dr. Toby Russel comes aboard eager to test her unproven treatments regardless of the risk to her patients, even if they're named Worf, and Bev ain't having it. All this and Alexander, the most adorable Klingon, just wants to see his dad! Will Worf ever walk again? Will Riker get over himself and honor his friend's request? Will Troi ever get paid for all these hours babysitting? Find out in this all-new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast!Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

On this episode, we’re beaming up Star Trek: Strategic Operations Simulator! You might remember this gem from the arcades, a groundbreaking 1983 title from none other than SEGA. We’ll dive into its innovative vector-graphics gameplay, that iconic first-person cockpit, and the thrill of defending starbases from relentless Klingon attackers. [iTunes – Stitcher – YouTube – Download] Support us on Patreon! Get … Continued

Our deep dive of "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" concludes on "Enterprise Incidents" (also "The Cine-Files") with our heroes from the late Starship Enterprise getting closer to accomplishing their mission of securing two humpback whales to bring back to the future.But before then can do that, they have to save Chekov from a 20th Century hospital and also restore their deteriorating dilithium crystals. There's also the matter of beaming the whales (and the water) onto their captured Klingon vessel, traveling back to the 23rd Century and hoping that the whales can talk the Probe out of destroying all life on Earth. And if they can make it through all of that, what will become of Admiral Kirk, the Enterprise crew and Dr. Gillian Taylor?Thanks for listening, keep going boldly and see you around the galaxy!

When Captain Batel's last chance is a rare blossom from inside the restricted zone, Captain Pike and Dr. M'Benga shuttle down to a spooky garden center. But after a Klingon hunting party finds them and they fight off the flora together, only a warrior's sacrifice can get the away team back to the ship. What's bound to get old to a ghost? Why do Klingons hate flowers? How is Dr. M'Benga like the Raisin Bran sun? It's the episode that won't stand for any beeping chair erasure.Support the production of Greatest TrekGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Greatest Trek is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam RaguseaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestTrek and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WE COULD DO IT? WE DID!!! JAMES GONIS, SHAWN SHERIDAN, JAMES GONIS, and MATT WEINHOLD celebrate an astounding anniversary of earth-shattering importance! Behold, the triumphant tricentennial that's anything but a trifle… MONSTER PARTY: THE 300TH EPISODE!!! WORST MONSTERS STRIKES BACK! From the days of our early (and sweaty) YouTube episodes, to our ongoing podcast series. MONSTER PARTY has happily provided monster kids with the kind of quality entertainment and life coaching they deserve. For over 13 years, we've featured a diverse range of guests, including industry professionals, celebrity guests, stand-up comedians, genre experts, a psychotherapist, and even an emergency room physician! It's been an exciting ride, but it's only the beginning. Okay, maybe more like the middle. For the 300th episode, we present a look back at some of the things that have made this podcast special! Aside from allowing us to yak about horror, sci-fi, and fantasy, this show has provided unique opportunities to meet our heroes, gain new knowledge from experts, laugh, and make a whole lot of new friends. And speaking of friendship, this landmark episode also gives us a special opportunity to celebrate the genuine love we hosts have for each other. Awwww! Of course, what would a MONSTER PARTY anniversary be without yet another dose of our very first topic... WORST MONSTERS? And we've got some doozies! Listen in as we take down alien amateurs, action figure elitists, a crummy Crumb, a dumb Dracula, Gamera goons, Klingon canines, kooky comic creatures, Korean kaiju, moronic muppets, silly Psychos, and more! WE WANT TO THANK ALL THE FRIENDS OF MONSTER PARTY FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT THROUGHOUT THE YEARS. YOU ARE THE DILITHIUM CRYSTALS THAT FUEL THIS STARSHIP. OH, AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THAT REFERENCE TO JAMES?

In this one, Jerry and Eddie talk unsatisfied fans and get into a little Star Wars vs Star Trek talk... enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At long last, “Enterprise Incidents with Scott & Steve” returns with a brand new episode! Actually, it's a new episode of “The Cine-Files with Steve Morris & John Rocha,” but since we're finally taking our deep dive into the most popular “Star Trek” film of all featuring the cast from “The Original Series,” it also doubles as an “Enterprise Incidents” episode too.In part one of our three-part series covering “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home,” the legendary crew of the late Starship Enterprise is on its way back to Earth in their captured Klingon vessel with the recently resurrected Captain Spock to face trial for acts of mutiny. But while en route, they receive a distress call warning all approaching vessels to stay away, due to a mysterious probe that's depleting power and wreaking havoc with extreme weather, which will soon destroy all life on the planet.Kirk, Spock and McCoy utilize the resources at hand to discover that the probe is trying to communicate with one species on Earth – specifically, humpback whales, which have been extinct for more than two centuries due to human hunting. Their only solution is to go back in time, retrieve two whales, bring them back to the future and hope that they engage the probe.And that's where the human adventure really begins!