Privateers Inc

Tick tock, flip flop, crop top, shop mop. If you don’t know, you know

When the going gets tough, the pyramids were built by Pharaoh. Do you know how they were built? Write in.

Set in 19th century Greece, the Alabamie Shake was invented. Not invested, but invented.

Do you suffer from severe diabetes? Sucks to be you, loser.

Eventually, everyone gets AIDS. According to statisticians .

Huckleberry, two-timing, hip hop dragonfly.

Try and take this one down, Paramount. Good luck!

Saturday morning cartoons will never be the same, once we get our hands on the secret formula for Diet Dr. Pepper (not Mr. Pibb).

Knick Knack Paddy Whack, Boot-scootin’ freelance architect.

This one is all over the place. When Dan isn’t around, we go way off script.

Mat recalls a simpler time when we used to rustle up a decent episode. It’s been a while.

Get your snacks ready for Dan’s dating story.

Step 1: Beat two eggs mercilessly until golden brown Step 2: Add sugar and concrete Step 4: Dance like you have crippling anemia (because you do).

Join Paul and his friends as they traverse a fjord or something.

Will rodents ever be able to write in cursive? Probably.

MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK. HOW DO I GET TO GO BACK TO NORmal? Never mind, I got it. Thanks anyway.

Fasten your trousers for a wild ride back to the epitome of malpractice as we conjure the sacred wind that foreshadow bookends, turned just so.

It has been several years since the event the old timers refer to as “the dark day” has passed. It seems time has been unkind once again as we usher in a new plague of once forgotten something something.

Best movie moments and Tano’s rocks.

In this episode, we test our vast knowledge of trigonometry, differential equations and general methodology. 2+2=7?!?!?

Join Makayla, Morgan, Paisley, Nevaeh, Beatrice and Debbie in another exciting installment of whatever this thing is.

Not like his back, but he’s back on the show. I see how that could be confusing but anyway. Listen and shut up!

We’re back like a chiropractor. Find out about the exciting experience Joe had with the 2019 Novel SARS Coronav

Jay joins us for some casual conversation and topical meanderings.

My mind wanders. It’s hard to remember what this one was about. Maybe farmers markets, or how older phones used to work. Remember those jobbers that you’d have to draw circles with your finger and all that? Seriously, c’mon, is that really the best we could do at the time? Talk about lazy. Anyway, I … Continue reading "Episode 113- I told you I’d put it up eventually."

You probably shouldn’t use any of this advice. Well, maybe the part about banging her old man.

If you have an important first date coming up, you won’t want to miss this informative episode. Enjoy!

We are backwards. Can’t remember what this is about. Love, Tripp

Cancel culture is running amuck, so we take our mind off of it by compiling the greatest super group of all time.

Cancel culture has gone too far and Dan is NOT having it!!!

We discuss Greta Thunberg, Black lives matter and cops. Plus, where in the hell is Dan?!

A strange elitist pool party, millionaire romps in the badlands and an excessive caviar diet. Have these aloof events finally pushed Dan over the edge? We don’t know. Do you? Plus some other crap that I can’t remember.

Come SEE what we’re up to this week. Now with 15% more visuals for your enjoyment!

This is an episode of a podcast. It contains various topics and accompanying bits of information, laughter and non-sequiturs. Listen or else.

The privateers reflect back on the wonderful year of 2020.

We’re joined by David Weiss, the prolific Flat-Earther. Does he make a valid case? You be the judge. We’ll be the jury.

The quintessential albums of the 1990’s, as curated by the Privateers. And if you act now, you’ll also get the greatest love songs of 200 BC. Shipping and handling extra.

Mats hits his head on the wock and it huuwts wiwwy bad!

100 EPISODES!! To celebrate, we pretty much just order Chinese food and eat it live. Real professionals!

Travel with us through the universe and ponder life’s wildest questions. Then for some reason, see how we would run this country (the right way).

Mat, Ryan and Tripp enjoy some quality time together, while Dan and Joe suffer endlessly. Also, what the hell is up with rappers names now?

E’ryone tryina be vikings and witches. We go waaay back to see how it really was.

Phases we all went through, depression and heavy-set women.

Straight from California, Uncle Mike stops by to tell us about his various sordid love affairs and the prospects of new love with a VERY young girl.

We attempt to talk about Qanon without trailing off. Spoiler alert, we don’t even make it like 5 minutes.

Dan’s new roommate Hunter only has one testicle. We bet you can’t make it through this episode.

I swear this is not about child pornography?

What in the hell is wrong with this podcast? Tune in to find out.

The Privateers offer some insight into Tripp’s absence. Also, wanna know how to bag a real catch ladies? Listen up, or we’ll give you what for.

Weird porn and twenty year old music. What better way to spend your Tuesday afternoon? Grab a cool glass of iced tea and set yourself down in that wicker chair. It’s time for Privateers.

Our old friend A Dog makes a special appearance to talk about old stories and give us an inside look at his rise and fall, and rise again, or something like that.