Today we’re talking about ...
TW Phelching 30:17-32:47 and 38:25-3827 TW SA 45:30-46:27 and 50:13-50:20 We are pro-possum
The dream segment is strong in this one
Fyi it was actually two glasses of wine
Believe it or not, this one is about the Barbie movie
My beige flag is that I post these several weeks late
Remember that one tiktok where the girl is talking about how a bird shat in her eye?
We use anti-specist language in this house
We talk about sexual awakenings.
Today we talk about being gay, which is almost always true.
This one turned into another discussion about porn lol.
Taylor gives a review of a manga no one's heard of, but everyone should.
I'm pretty sure we talk about Robin Hood smut
An exploration of fanfiction tags.
I'm not gonna lie to you, we mostly just roast Blake in this one lol
We took an accidental 3 week break, but we're back for the rest of Season 2!
Don't remember what this one was about tbh
Ro teaches us about an old-fashioned instrument no one has ever heard of
We talk about horrible Hollywood werewolf depictions, making fun of our friends, and sending us emails. Submit suggestions for the show at sociallyawkwardpodcasters@gmail.com!
We talk about our fashion journies, dressing like 12-year-old boys, YA books with incest (again), matching tattoos, Vampire Knight, fanfiction, and the Bookly app (not sponsored).
This stupid fucking metronome I swear, now there's a new team Andrew and she's like whoa whoa whoa what the hell, he still had the fear of the ocean moodlet and then a thunderstorm started and then he started dying, how have we not talked about kink already also I was not ready to talk about kink today, the nice thing about riding crops is they're like clapper hands so they make a lot of noise, butt play is not sinful, the point of the sex room show is not to be educational, I would almost never think someone's kinks were embarrassing but I think that about myself, having sexual experiences before marriage does not take away from the sexual experiences you may have after marriage, nothing wrong with being a top, people are getting exposed to praise kinks through people who are into bdsm, yeah I'm not really into knife play, I think we might be done with this one, thank you and we're sorry.
The bit has become real, it's like a girl crush, have you been thinking that the entire time?!?, 2 dream segments this time, then winding down with a hockey smut book, you were supposed to read your book and go, wearing that Disney hoodie you used to wear all the time in college and I was like “You're allowed to dress like that here??”, OHIO IS THE MIDWEST, there's a lot of good drama to listen to, that's much more positive than what I would have said, it's like an RC car that's a peanut and there's a rat inside, I forgot to say but I did put Mac and cheese, Sarah had to give her the sex talk at IHOP, 10 out of 10 would have a threesome with Tom Holland and Zendaya, one day I could be obsessed with Magical Diary Horse Hall, thank you and we're sorry.
*silence* you ready?? *clap* you jerk!, either that or I am gonna die and this will be really interesting content later, let's not talk about how hard it was for me to name things that make me happy, he's a professional Christmas tree decorator but what does he do the rest of the year, Midgel Zidgel Fidgel and Kevin, and after spending 40 years in the desert he comes back Narnia style, it's easy to see the bad things because they seem bigger, they don't wanna touch your nasty shrimp, weird Christian media, we used to fall asleep to Christian ska music, wait I remember jump 5, they only play like Gaither gospel music, I remember when they came out as webisodes because I was really into monster high at the time, Ryan belly flops really bad at the pool party and it's overlaid with this song that's like “I'm underwater and I can't breathe”, schlondpoofa t-shirts it all comes full circle, thank you and we're sorry.
Do you think people ever get tired of this bit? I don't care I won't, I'm moving in with my parents I can't wait to revisit this topic, and they were naming it Paramount like the movie company, my vendetta is particularly against the original one, UUUUAAAGH, I never read those books thank god they were bad, please for the love of god go listen to that msscribe video essay it is so goddamn good, Jesus how did we talk about mortal instruments for so long, back then I was desperate or stupid or whatever, I liked that one guy from les mis not the main guy, I would find the person I'm dating more attractive because the person from les mis thought they were attractive, let's talk about what we want in a partner besides slept with that guy from les mis, shoutout Bryce he's a great friend, an entire rack of crockery that looks like cabbages, thank you and we're sorry.
We gotta end it on a high note, gas everyone out with Axe, oh that's weird why would I think that, I had no man dolls, you're like down so bad high school you was so horny, yeah I didn't like her, it was more of an alliance than a friendship, then don't hang out with us, good riddance, well how do you have any friends I don't know how to say no, I'm so embarrassed by the idea that someone thinks I have a podcast, Melissa and I are writing a webcomic, and it's funny because what happened is he had like 40 kids, Blake has had about 15 kids so far, he thinks his lips are so big because I was too dumb to notice, thanks and we're sorry.
Oh we're gonna have to cut this out, you don't have to come back, you cheated on your math test, we could be really rude but instead we're gonna be funny, I kinda wanna quit, there was this lady, you can absolutely ban a customer so easily, the percentage of christians who are not awful is outlying, one coat black by holo taco, I've definitely burnt my hair at home but I'm signing up for that, he turned her hair green and then didn't tell her, and they wouldn't let me put their ashes in the build-a-bear, thank you and we're sorry.
I love 50 minute video essays, I absolutely did not forget to mention CJ the X actually, please for the love of god watch that rick and morty video essay it is absolutely incredible, *the most in sync clap we've ever had on this podcast,* Bean and Pepper cutest couple, Sarah and Daniel are gross, Robin Williams plays a mean therapist, and by mean I mean he's really good at it, oh god I'm also in that footage please kill me, “WELCOME TO DBU,” you're never gonna respond well to something unexpected, most likely to slip in a puddle and break an arm absolutely Taylor, Bryce did so many things omg he's legitimately so impressive, I feel like I have the most diverse sexual knowledge too, don't monkey shame that ape, so aren't the NFTs wrong then?, cue a 20min discussion about monkeys, the lore of curious George was a personal favorite, Sarah would win the hunger games because she would kill Daniel in a heartbeat if it came down to it, my sister said thanks for saving her in the hunger games nominations, oh my god Blake OH MY GOD BLAKE, thank you and we're sorry.
She's late but she's here, *clap* oh my god why did you clap so aggressively, we love a good chant, spiritual journey, kinda awesome on purpose, I was involved in a very performative youth group, I did that stupid thing where I believed God told me to marry someone, my family is pretty spiritual but I am not, oh thank god I can let this stuff go, oh my god I don't have to believe this, you don't have to believe that God was like “I hate gay people,” Christians stop evangelizing, it was kinda lame to go to the pool I think, you were a big proponent for me having the courage to take drugs, yeah but it feels like a rollercoaster, one in ten people don't even make it to the ground, the most dangerous thing I could think of is pet a scorpion, I got a text—that's a scam, retail jobs are always tryna get you to upsell, are they his friends or are they your friends, I'm not saying autistic people can't make friends but they're probably your friends, who did you think she was scissoring--men??, thank you and we're sorry.
*clap* aw man *clap,* what is this from "boop bop boop," our favorite YouTube content, we watch a lot of it, and also Wife Swap, we listen to video essays while we do other things we are so relatable, Taylor has ADHD I just have a short attention span, or maybe that's just me having a manic episode, we don't like to be alone with our thoughts, Buffy the Vampire Slayer we love the queer rep, the Covey Time Matrix I talk about it all the time, distracting yourself is not always an unhealthy coping mechanism, The Sims 4 but I play for ten generations #notsoberry, Mike's Mic please sponsor us, I will never shut up about FNAF, literally who cared about TheSlap.com, Top ten reasons why Lyman is gone: don't check in John's basement, Taylor knew like 5 Andrews but I knew like 3 Stetsons, I am the target demographic for Markiplier, Officer Vanessa I frew up, Jenna Marbles we love you, lowering the barrier to entry is nothing to shame people for, life hacks for neurodivergence/mental illness, anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, keeping face wipes and disposable tooth brushes next to bed helps lower the barrier to entry of sleep, why is he holding hams??, Litewater bottles, Finch please sponsor us, daily schedules don't work for me and that's okay, I draw self portraits when I'm manic so I can look back on them when I'm depressed, welcome to season 2, thank you and we're sorry.
*clap clap* we'll try again every time and the claps are always off, we only cut out stuff we shouldn't have said, it's pride month yo, yeah I'll have the pride month special please, we need this break lol, he's like, “oh um I just you have a really nice body,” I will always exude gay panic, we're sitting on the floor because I have nowhere to sit, high strung is such an underrated movie, why does Tao have that hairstyle in heartstopper I will never understand, tapas please sponsor us, she's brought back to life by her queer romance, broken back mountain sux, they basically have like psychic orgies, we have trouble recognizing people's faces, polyamorous media that's done in a healthy way is somewhat hard to come by, I put a blue's clues sticker on it because it should've been the first clue, it made me a little stressed because it was like “nobody can see us” but then they go and make out on a rooftop, we love enemies to lovers and fake dating, thank you and we're sorry.
*clap clap* I was trying to wait until you talked and then I was gonna interrupt you, nobody ever agrees unless it's Harry Styles, I forgot how old you were, “no this was a different episode” “what??” Graduating with a master's degree yo let's go, if I can joke about it then I'm less insecure about it, I'm looking forward to caring less as I get older, it will get better, children should not be listening to this for the love of God, there's no getting around it it was so fucking weird, our first bonding experience was over an incestuous vampire anime, you don't have to create for the purpose of showing your creation to anyone, dammit Taylor is this even a professional podcast oh my god what the hell, kinda shitty on purpose, I pretend that it's a reincarnation of me and we have to find each other again, I'm so proud of you, I was really horrified, I would never do untagged non/con in real life, omg this fanfiction, thank you and we're sorry.
*clap clap* the last time we ate at that restaurant my family left me there and they argue to this day about whose fault it was but it was everyone's fault, "it costs me nothing to take the high road," I remember so much about the Brady Bunch, that one episode of Mama's House where she gets struck by lightning, we love that people listen to and like this podcast, the body can react to stress in wild ways man, not having kids is a perfectly fine decision to make for yourself, you're not doomed to repeat familial cycles, sometimes people aren't even aware of how their behavior affects others, sometimes it's not safe to mend fences with family members and it's okay to prioritize your safety, this book was written by a privileged person, he had an interesting spiritual perspective that sometimes blocked me from understanding his points, his name was Harold because we named our fish after him, next time you have a class with him if you can smell him and tell me doesn't smell exactly like grandma Redmon, epigenetics sounded fake to me at first but there's actually a lot of evidence supporting the idea, ya I ended up quitting that job lol, I don't need to pay that much for information I already have, excuse me ma'am I know how to eat a vegetable thank you very much, my mom takes the absolute funniest pictures, I got diagnosed with bipolar and I won't shut up about it, calling the suicide hotline is nothing to be ashamed of, thank you and we're sorry.